The NFL All-Time Draft

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Here's the deal:

 

I got a writeup from everyone except Broward, so rather than leave it to hazard in a play-in game, I'm just going to go ahead and eliminate him and leave it to the 16 that took the time to get their thing together. Fair enough? I think so.

 

What I'm going to do now is post everyone's writeup in the order of the draft. After I get everything up, we all rate the teams 1-16. Let's do it by PM, since it won't be as messy in here with discussion of each person's vote immediately after they do it, dig?

 

Let's call the voting deadline..Friday morning.

 

 

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

EHME

 

 

QB: Donovan McNabb

FB: Jim Brown

RB: Ricky Watters

WR: Michael Irvin, Hines Ward

TE: Wesley Walls

T: Orlando Pace, Lomas Brown

G: Gene Hickerson, John Niland

C: Olin Kreutz

DE: Alan Page, Julius Peppers

DT: Jerome Brown, Ted Washington

LB: Levon Kirkland, Seth Joyner, Carl Banks

CB: Dick "Night Train" Lane, Chris McCallister

S: Leroy Butler, Eddie Meador

P: Darren Bennett

K: David Akers

Coach: Joe Gibbs

 

 

OFFENSE: My offense will be a typical Joe Gibbs offense based around the running game, and what better way to rush the ball then to have the greatest pure rusher of all time, Jim Brown getting the majority of carries. Jim Brown's bull dozing running style will help my team push the chains, and take pressure off my QB, Donovan McNabb. Also getting a few carrys will be Ricky Watters... But he will be used mostly as a 2-way, recieving type back, similar to Brian Westbrook, or Marshall Faulk. Ricky Watters has the talent to do that, as he has shown when he played in San Francisco when they used him as a recieving threat out of the backfield.

 

As far as the passing game goes... I have two wide outs who are considered to be the best wide outs out of their respected franchises. Michael Irvin is an amazing recieving talent, who not only can burn your best corners, but manhandle them and make extremely tough catches. Although there are character issues about him, no one can doubt his passion for the game... Many of the Cowboys called him the hardest working guy on their team. Opposite of Irvin, is Hines Ward who owns every single Steeler recieving record. Not only was Ward a great reciever but he is also arguably the best blocking reciever of all time... Plus Hines Ward can also be used as a quarterback in certain switch plays... These two will finally give Donovan McNabb he recieving threat he needed through out his career(other then T.O.)

 

Most people bashed my drafting of Donovan McNabb, but I feel confident in this pick. McNabb was able to lead the Eagles to 4 straight NFC Confrence games without a good offense. He is proven to be a great team leader, and with the offensive playmakers on my team... I feel his strengths will work on this team. He makes few mistakes, and is a great desicion maker. Plus he is a very good scrambler, and can make a good desicion on instinct. Plus with Jim Brown rushing the ball, it will take a lot of pressure off McNabb.

 

As far as my offensive line goes... I have a good overall offensive line. My tackles, Lomas Brown and Orlando Pace are really good, Pace is one of the best of this current decade, and Brown has been overlooked and has been consistent for many years. My guards are from the pre-modern era of the NFL, but still tough. Hickerson blocked for Jim Brown and is an all decade guard, and John Niland blocked had been a great guard in the 60's, blocking for the greats of the Cowboys. In the middle, I have problay the best center of this decade in Olin Kreutz.

 

I feel confident in this offense, and I put together a great offense.

 

DEFENSE: My defense is built around my defenslive line. I feel I have the most feared defensive ends in this draft in Alan Page and Julius Peppers, both of whom are beasts and knows how to get to the QB. It's going to be hard to contain these two, and it will be even worse if you try to double up on them. In the middle my tackles are also going to cause offensive linemen troubles. Jerome Brown, although career ended too soon, during his playing days was an absolute beast, and was considered the most dominate DT at that time. Right byside him is a big flab of meat in Ted Washington. This guy just bulldozes through o-linemen on size alone.

 

My linebacking core is a very overlooked group of players. In the middle I have Levon Kirkland who was an absolute tackling machine, and great defensive team leader. Underrated for many years, despite being named to the All Decade 90's team. Lead the Steelers defense of the 90's, to the playoffs numerious of times, despite them having a subpar offense for years. Opposite of him are Seth Joyner and Carl Banks. Seth Joyner is a very versitile linebacker(20/20 club), who combines strength and speed together making him a threat for any offense on the field. Carl Banks has proven he can be apart of great linebacking cores, when he was with the greatest linebacking core of all time with the Giants. Banks is a hard working hard nose linebacker, who was overshadowed(and rightfully so) to LT. He will contribute deeply to this team.

 

My secondary will be lead by problay the greatest cornerback of all time, Dick "Night Train" Lane. No need for any explaination on him. Opposite of him is Chris McAllister, who has been a great CB for many years on the Baltimore Ravens defense. Very overlooked and is a great shutdown CB. My safetys starts with LeRoy Butler who is an inspiration, and one of the best safety's of the 90's, and Eddie Meador. Not much is known about Meador, but he is an All Decade safety and leads the Rams in INT's.

 

SPECIAL TEAMS: Ricky Watters will be used as Kick and Punt return. David Ackers was a homer pick for me, but still a damn good kicker. And Darren Bennett is the best punter I've ever seen play.

 

COACHING: Joe Gibbs I feel is the best suited to run this team, especially the offense. I want my offensive to be similar to that of the Redskins in the 80's.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Gert T

 

QB: Len Dawson

RB: O.J. Simpson, Thurman Thomas

WR: Jerry Rice, Henry Ellard

TE: Jason Witten

OT: Tony Boselli, Jackie Slater

OG: Alan Faneca, Ken Gray

C: Ray Donaldson

DE: Gino Marchetti, Kevin Carter

DT: Buck Buchanan, Steve McMichael

LB: Willie Lanier, Wilber Marshall, Charles Haley

CB: Herb Adderley, Ken Riley

S: Ed Reed, Jake Scott

K: Mark Moseley

P: Reggie Roby

KR/PR: Mel Gray

Coach: Paul Brown

 

 

On offense, I want to be able to run the ball about 52-48. A lot of power running with O.J. and some outside running with Thurman. A lot of screen plays with Thomas as well. I think Ellard and Witten can really stretch the field if Rice gets doubled. Len Dawson's stats from the AFL 60's days leads me to believe he would flourish in the current NFL.

 

When I drafted my offensive line, I thought Slater was the best OT available and is the best RT ever. While hampered my injuries, Boselli in his prime has been regarded as the best LT of the Boselli-Ogden-Pace of the era.

 

On the D-Line, I went away from the Fat D-line Man who can take up two blockers, because I thnk Buchanan and McMichael are good against the run as well as being able to get to the QB. Sliding Haley to OLB makes it so I have another speed rusher from the edge. I think Lanier will be my "tackle compiler" and Marshall will be able to do a little bit of everything.

 

Herb Adderley is a Top 5 All-Time CB so enough said on that front. I think Riley would be tremendous opposite Adderley because he won't be depended on to cover the WR1 from another team. Ed Reed and Jake Scott both have that uncanny ability to find their way to the ball, something desireable in a secondary.

 

Mark and Reggie will kick the ball when I say so.

 

I think Paul Brown is the total package when it comes to coaching. Great motivator, innovator and in-game manager.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Kahran Ramsus

 

QB: Fran Tarkenton

RB: Walter Payton

FB: Jim Taylor

WR: Tommy McDonald, Steve Smith

TE: Pete Retzlaff

T: Walter Jones, Al Wistert

G: Randall McDaniel, Will Shields

C: Kevin Mawae

DE: Len Ford, Leslie O'Neal

DT: Bob Lilly, Pat Williams

LB: Bill George, Dave Robinson, Joe Fortunato

CB: Champ Bailey, Mel Renfro

S: John Lynch, Jimmy Patton

P: Tom Tupa

K: Gary Anderson

Special Teams: Steve Tasker

Coach: Don Shula

 

 

My first priority with this team was to win the battle in the trenches and to establish a juggernaut of a running game. All five of my offensive linemen were tremendous leaders on and off the field and it is the strength of my team. Two of them (Shields & Jones) were a major factor in what was at the time record setting seasons by Priest Holmes & Shaun Alexander respectively. Both of my RBs are great blockers as well as being tremendous runners.

 

Seeing that I will probably be facing several 8 men fronts (otherwise my backs will be running up the field all day), it was important not to neglect my passing game. The most important part of a good passing offence is a great QB. The top QBs can win with even mediocre receivers, but good WRs often look like crud with bad QBs (witness Randy Moss in Oakland). Fran the Man is easily a top ten all-time QB, and the second best in history prior to the advent of the West Coast Offence. He invented the term mobile QB. Tommy McDonald & Steve Smith are good complementary pair with McDonald being a reliable end zone threat and Smith being the deep guy. Pete Retzlaff is one of the most underrated tight ends ever and his pass catching abilities compare favourably with the best that ever played the position. He has similar numbers to Hall of Famer Ozzie Newsome (500 fewer yards and equal TDs) and did it in 66 fewer games. Steve Tasker is my slot receiver.

 

On defence the strength is once again on my line, starting with Bob Lilly who is arguably the best nose tackle in the history of the NFL. He is paired with Pat Williams, and between them it will be death for any RB going up the middle. On the outside are Len Ford from the multi-multi time World Champion Cleveland Browns and a devastating pass rusher in Leslie O’Neal. Balance is the key here as my line is effective both against the run and the pass. If opposing QBs manage to avoid eating dirt, they can unload the ball into my loaded secondary that can both cover and brutalize opposing receivers. At linebacker I have the first true star linebacker in history in Bill George lining up in between his real life teammate and a star player on the best team in the history of the NFL. My defence isn’t as scary as some others here, but it is definitely as talented and I certainly believe that my offensive line can handle the opposing defence better than the others can handle mine.

 

On special teams, I have Steve Smith handling return duties. Smith had 6 TD off of returns in his first 3 years so he is certainly no slouch. More importantly, giving return duties to Smith allowed me to draft the best special teams player ever in Steve Tasker. Expect lots of long fields for opposing offences and lots of turnovers on kickoffs. Gary Anderson was once the NFL’s all-time points leader and Tupa is a former QB and one of the most athletic punters out there.

 

Don Shula is arguably the best coach that ever lived, or at least nobody has ever come close to his accomplishments. His 347 Career Wins will never even be approached let alone beaten. He coached in more Super Bowls than any other coach in the history of the NFL, and he did with at least three (arguably 4) very different teams in the 1968 Baltimore Colts, the Dolphins of the 70s, and the Dolphins of the 80s. He was the first coach to take two different teams to the Super Bowl. He was the coach of the only undefeated championship team of the modern era. In other words, he’s basically the perfect coach for this team.

 

This is simply a team with no weaknesses, and with my ability to grind out the clock and force turnovers I expect to utterly dominate the time of possession. I will be facing a lot of super powered offences, but their damage will be limited if they spend most of their time sitting on the bench watching their defences on the field. Balance and winning the war up front is the key to winning in the NFL and my team has that.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Fokai

 

QB: Peyton Manning

RB: Ladainian Tomlinson

FB: Roger Craig

WR: Cris Carter, Issac Bruce

TE: Kellen Winslow

OT: Chris Samuels, Jordan Gross

OG: Steve Wisniewski, Stan Jones

C: Len Hauss

DE: Neil Smith, Fred Dean

DT: Ray Childress, Michael Dean Perry

OLB: Junior Seau, Cornelius Bennett

MLB: Mike Curtis

CB: Roger Wehrli, Dick LeBeau

FS: Darren Woodson

SS: Gary Fencik

K: George Blanda

P: Craig Hentrich

KR/PR: Antwaan Randle El

Coach: Bill Walsh

 

The entire team, as said before, is built on mobility and interchangable parts. With a 25-man roster, every position has to be a revolving door in order to stay in this competition. The overall goal of my team will be to win the time of possession battle. With that, I feel that I can put enough points on the board to hang with any team in this draft.

 

OFFENSE:

Peyton Manning in the WCO would be a defensive nightmare. He has a penchant for changing plays at the line, he has a great three-step drop when he needs to use it, and he's cautious enough to avoid forcing a ball into a bad situation. The biggest plus for Manning is the receivers around him; five men (LT, Craig, Winslow, Carter and Bruce) were all top receivers at their position. The o-line was built on mobile legs, so LT and Craig's games are going to expand. Both love to work off of swing and screen passes, and with four blockers in Samuels, Gross, Jones and Wisniewski, they have the strength and speed to head upfield with strong leads. Craig was an above-average protection back, who Pro-Bowled at both halfback and fullback, so he keeps Tomlinson as strong he was with Lorenzo Neal, as well as running the ball himself.

 

With intermediate-yardage passing plays and a two-back system, I'm going to wind the clock down on EVERY possession. How about a twist? Winslow replaces a tired lineman on the end (and it can be anyone because Samuels, Gross and Wisniewski can slide over if need be), or LT or RC takes a breather, and Randle-El becomes the gadget-play position who can throw, run or receive.

 

DEFENSE:

Hit the offense in the mouth...HARD. Every offense in this draft is exceptional at their own gameplan, so I have to force the issue. If I begin the game with a a solid pass rush, I can keep the quarterback honest. Four _interchangeable_ lineman who could alternate at 3-4 or 4-3 packages in the same drive will help me. The top quarterbacks may not be flustered by four down linemen, even though I have two HOF-caliber pass rushers, so I have to mix in blliz packages with Seau, Bennett and Darren Woodson. With that, Curtis, Woodson and Fencik were all scary hitters in their own right who changed the way receivers ran routes. Do not run underneath routes on this team.

 

I can understand other teams going vertical on me, but people underestimate LeBeau on how smart he was even as a player. He should be able to push the receiver off of his route and run him toward my safeties. Wehrli was a top-ten DB all time, so he should provide a frustrating match-up even for the Jerry Rices and Terrell Owens' of this draft. As for running plays, I'm looking for the fumble. Don't make swing passes on this team. I'll admittedly struggle against RBs that run up the middle, with two undersized defensive tackles. But unless you've got a bowling ball back, I'll seal up the outside with Seau and Bennett who were relentless chasers in their own era.

 

SPECIAL TEAMS:

Blanda can kick. Randle-El can punt. Hentrich has a knuckleball punt that'll die upon impact. You better fair catch on my team. I figure with an 11 of the Samuels, Wisniewski, Hauss, Jones, Winslow, Hentrich, Woodson, Fencik, Seau, Bennett and Randle-El, you won't be able to wedge these boys.

 

If we put talent against talent in this draft, I certainly may not be the best. But I put up a team with a specific gameplan, and I'm going for the best football team with the roster slots we had. And if I'm trailing in a game, I'll gouge your eyes out with Wisniewski or Curtis.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Bored

 

QB: Ken Anderson

HB: Lenny Moore

FB: Tom Rathman

WR: Randy Moss

WR: Harold Carhmichael

TE: Charlie Sanders

LT: Willie Roaf

LG: Mike Munchak

C: Jeff Van Note

RG: Bob Kuechenberg

RT: Richmond Webb

 

LE: Claude Humphrey

NT: Leo Nomellini

RE: Elvin Bethea

ROLB: Lawrence Taylor

RILB: Harry Carson

LILB: Sam Mills

ROLB: Dave Wilcox

CB: Mel Blount

CB: Jimmy Johnson

FS: Larry Wilson

SS: Joey Browner

 

K: Garo Yepremian

P: Tommy Davis

KR: Ollie Matson

Coach: Mike Holmgren

 

I really don't have a lot to say as I think the track records of my players speak for themselves. There are 13 current Hall of Famers and several others who will either end up in Canton one day or should be already be there. The offense will be your classic west coast offense led by the first quarterback to run that type offense successfully in Ken Anderson who will have an excellent receiver to throw to at every skill position. On defense, I don't know how anyone can move the ball with any consistency against this group which features the coked out mayhem of Lawrence Taylor.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

CanadianChris

 

Offense-

QB: Bart Starr

RB: Barry Sanders

FB: "Ironhead" Heyward

WR: James Lofton, Art Monk

TE: Shannon Sharpe

OT: Art Shell, Bob Brown

OG: Larry Little, Chris Hinton

C: Jim Langer

Defense-

DE: L.C. Greenwood, Leonard Marshall

DT: Merlin Olsen, Joe Klecko

LB: Sam Huff, Nick Buoniconti, Jesse Tuggle

CB: Willie Brown, Merton Hanks

S: Eugene Robinson, Carnell Lake

Special Teams-

KR/PR: Billy "White Shoes" Johnson

K: Morten Andersen

P: Sean Landeta

Coach- Marv Levy

 

They say that offence sells tickets, but it's defence that wins championships. My team will challenge that notion as no team has before. This team will have an extremely balanced attack, with teams needing to decide whether to commit to the run and try to stop one of the three greatest running backs of all time in Barry Sanders, or defend the pass and face three Hall of Famers at QB (Starr) and WR (Lofton and Monk), and a future HoFer at TE (Sharpe). With a ton of all-decade team members on the line, many of whom have a ton of big-game experience, and an offensive mastermind as head coach in Marv Levy, the offence will be as close to unstoppable as you could imagine.

 

I built the defence to be quick and mobile, which will help to neutralize some of the great offensive talent on the opposing squad. Each unit -- line, linebackers and secondary -- has one of the four or five greatest ever at the position in Merlin Olsen (DL), Sam Huff (LB) and Willie Brown (CB) as the anchor.

 

On special teams, we have the guys that will allow us to win the field position battle, with Billy "White Shoes" Johnson returning kicks, and Sean Landeta consistently pinning the opponents deep. Morten Andersen gives us one of the most reliable place kickers ever.

 

 

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

909

 

Coach: Mike Shanahan

QB: Joe Montana

RB: Earl Campbell

FB: Mike Alstott

WR: Tim Brown, John Stallworth

TE: Keith Jackson

T: Flozell Adams, Willie Anderson

G: Russ Grimm, Mark Schlereth

C: Jim Otto

DE: Jack Youngblood, Lee Roy Selmon

DT: Bryant Young, Corey Simon

ILB: Ray Nitschke

OLB: Karl Mecklenburg, Peter Boulware

CB: Lester Hayes, Charles Woodson

S: Brian Dawkins, Lawyer Milloy

P: Shane Lechler

K: Jan Stenerud

KR: Dante Hall

 

Ok, I'll start with my coaching selection. With a west coast QB like Montana, preferably you'd take a coach like Bill Walsh, but I couldn't grab him. Instead, I took Mike Shanahan, who's probably the best West Coast offense guy I could get. I don't like Mike Holmgren. I decided not to go defensive with my selection because, all in all, I needed a coach that fit my offense.

 

I've got a running back that can fuck shit up. Man, we're going with a ton of runs with this offense, at least until Earl Campbell gets hurt. With Alstott as a blocker and possible pass catcher, well, not too many better fullbacks out there. He can run if I want him to, unlike a Lorenzo Neal. Joe Montana and Tim Brown will be like some Montana to Rice type shit, except not. It'll work almost as well. Keith Jackson at TE will provide both blocking and pass catching. Offensive line, well, I'm not going to claim to be an expert, but Otto is a great center and Flozell Adams is gigantic.

 

Defensively, I've got a fantastic pass rushing group. Guys like Mecklenburg, Youngblood, Selmon, Young...you had better just run the ball. Corey Simon was a token fat ass pick. Clog the middle up, let Nitschke gobble up the run. I've got great safeties, especially Dawkins. No throws over the middle. Lester the Molester is key. Charles Woodson will probably ballhawk and get burned every once in a while. A safety will need to cheat to his side. This defense needs to be good enough to hold teams to a punt, I think they are. When they do punt, Dante Hall will run into the endzone. Touchdown!

 

Stenerud and Lechler are both near the top all-time with their feet.

 

The end.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

jwest27

 

Offense:

QB: Roger Staubach

RB: Priest Holmes

FB: Bronko Nagurski

WR: Torry Holt, Harold Jackson

TE: Antonio Gates

OT: Jim Parker, Ron Mix

OG: John Hannah, Guy McIntyre

C: Matt Birk

Defense:

DE: Reggie White, Trevor Pryce

DT: Ernie Stautner, Richard Seymour

MLB: Joe Schmidt

OLB: Bobby Bell, Joey Porter

CB: Lemar Parrish, Louis Wright

S: Johnny Robinson, Troy Polamalu

Special Teams: Desmond Howard

K: Jeff Wilkins

P: Brian Moorman

Coach: Vince Lombardi

 

The main offensive focus of my team is running the ball. Vince Lombardi's signature power sweep will be featured as my go-to play. With John Hannah and Bronko motherfuckin Nagurski being key parts of the play, I feel pretty confident it will be successful. Of course, I also have Roger Staubach and some pretty damn good receivers for those 2nd and 3rd and longs and such.

 

Defensively, I will definitely rely fairly heavily on my awesome D-line and linebackers to stop the run and pressure the quarterback. My secondary, with the notable exception of Johnny Robinson, is not the strongest part of my D, but hopefully with Reggie White and Bobby Bell chasing down the QB I won't have to worry about it too much.

 

Not much to say about Special Teams. I suppose I could occasionally run a fake punt with Brian Moorman, since he's actually pretty dang fast (averages 4.9 yards per carry! Clearly the Barry Sanders of punters). Desmond Howard is a Superbowl MVP, so there's that. Yeah that's all I got.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Vitamin X

 

Coach - John Madden

QB: Brett Favre

RB: Marshall Faulk, Steve Van Buren

FB: Larry Centers

WR: Andre Reed, Mark Clayton, Steve Van Buren

TE: Brent Jones

LT: Matt Light

LG: Randy Cross

C: Tom Nalen

RG: Howard Mudd

RT: Jimbo Covert

DL: Willie Davis, Harvey Martin, Dave Butz, Lou Groza, Gilbert Brown

ROLB: Chuck Howley

RILB: Randy Gradishar

LILB/LOLB: Ted Hendricks

LOLB/DE: Kevin Greene

DB: Rod Woodson, Rodney Harrison, Jack Tatum, Sammy Baugh

P: Sammy Baugh

K: Lou Groza

PR/KR: Steve Van Buren

 

What this team is basically made up of is exciting big plays on offense, and big plays on defense. Having John Madden as my coach, who never experienced a losing season in 11 seasons, along with Brett Favre who has only experienced one in 17, is a huge factor in my ballclub having ability in the clutch and for being prepared throughout the week. There's absolutely no questioning anyone on this team's work ethic or toughness.

 

On offense, my linemen are built smart, tough, and athletic to run a very effective zone blocking scheme. They're also light and quick enough to be able to run traps and sweeps, which will help utilize Marshall Faulk's ability as a runner. Combined on this offense are 5 NFL MVP awards, 57 Pro Bowl selections, and almost all of them are on some sort of NFL All-Decade team or will be, such as Matt Light. As a GM, my philosophy towards building any sort of football team relies strongly on a "core": That is, the closer you are to the ball, the more I am willing to sacrifice speed and ball handling ability for size and strength. I like for my running backs to be as capable at running the football as they are at catching it. Since Faulk holds the record for most total all-purpose yards in a season, this applies to my team, as does Larry Centers who was the last true fullback to play his position, and holds the record for most receptions by any non-receiver. Favre, who is a master of improvisation and making up plays at the line of scrimmage, can use his already speedy and sure-handed receiving corps and motion out Faulk and/or Centers, or split Brent Jones out wide as well. Simply put, for toughness, speed, and big play ability, it would be very very difficult to contain this offense from scoring.

 

On defense, there's three NFL DPOTYs: Harvey Martin, 1977. Randy Gradishar, 1978. Rod Woodson, 1993. I don't like to commit to playing exclusively a 4-3 or a 3-4, so I built this team to be a hybrid of those two things to allow for greater flexibility. Obviously I have Rod Woodson and Sammy Baugh at corner, and then Jack Tatum and Rodney Harrison murdering and paralyzing people at the safety spots. When my defense is in a 3-4, my front seven will consist of Willie Davis and Harvey Martin at the end spots as they would in the 4-3, and either Gilbert Brown or Dave Butz at the nosetackle spot. Both of those guys, with Lou Groza subbing in for Brown when Gilbert gets tired, would take up the interior line spots in the 4-3. Kevin Greene can also sub in at defensive end- this guy was 3rd ALL TIME in sacks for any position, and by far the most at linebacker- and he was a big enough guy to play both OLB and DE. Howley and Hendricks are amazing at pass coverage, especially Hendricks who was 6'7", 220 lbs. and created quite an obstacle in the passing lanes for most quarterbacks. With the amount of sacks and interceptions this defense has the potential for, you can pretty much forget about passing on this team. Simply put, these guys are here to either knock you out of the game or get the ball back as quickly as possible to let my offense get some big plays.

 

In short, yeah there's the potential for Favre throwing a dumb interception here and there and for other teams taking relative advantage of the lack of skill and size on the defensive line to run. However, my linebackers more than make up for that and this team is simply too good at coming up with takeaways to worry about any shortcomings the offense might have. Plus, having Madden and Favre on my team, if you believe in intangibles, is good enough for at least one championship or enough wins consistently to get me through.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

JustJohn

 

Head Coach: Jimmy Johnson

 

Offense

 

QB: Tom Brady

RB: Marcus Allen

FB: Larry Csonka

T: Erik Williams, Tra Thomas

G: Nate Newton, Adam Timmerman

C: Dermontti Dawson

TE: Tony Gonzalez

WR: Otis Taylor, Cliff Branch, Wes Welker (slot)

 

This offense is set up to mirror Jimmy Johnson's very successful 90's Cowboys squads, while focusing on the most tried and true offensive strategy of power running. With as physical as all the defenses here will be, I decided the best approach was to counter with a ridiculously physical offense. I wanted to go with an offense that not only wouldn't be beat down by opposing defenses, but would actually give it back to them. In addition to my monstrous O-line, I have two running options that fit my ground and pound strategy. Csonka is renowned as one of the most physical runners ever, punishing many a potential tackler over his career. Allen has more mobility and will keep defenses from clogging the middle, but is certainly not afraid of contact, and was a top-notch goal-line RB.

 

Additionally, the passing game isn't going to be intimidated by any defense, as it's pretty damn tough for a passing game. I have two big, bruising receiving options in Taylor and Gonzalez, who will be just as valuable as downfield blockers. I also picked up two smaller, faster options to balance the game with Branch and Welker. They won't be dishing out much, but I know they can take it at least, and you can't have a good passing game without speed options and a downfield threat. Also, let's not discount the impact of Allen in the passing game who can spread defenses with his ability to catch in the flat. Again, with Gonzalez and Taylor being able to eat up defenders down the field, screens should be very effective. All 5 major receiving targets are very sure-handed and stupid mistakes and drops should be miniscule on this team. Oh, and nevermind the guy doing all the throwing is Tom Brady, a super-accurate and intuitive QB who thrives on pressure and will almost never throw the game away with silly mistakes, no matter what's on the line.

 

Overall, I feel I've assembled a very dynamic offense that can go from basic power running, to complex passing schemes, and do both very effectively. This line won't be giving up too much QB pressure, and should clear room for runners fairly easily. I have superb blockers at 7 positions (OL, TE, WR), up to 5 legit receiving threats that can go deep (Taylor/Branch) and over the middle (Gonzalez/Welker), 2 amazing runners, and a QB who can manage it all.

 

Defense

 

DE: Clyde Simmons, Patrick Kerney

DT: John Randle, Jamal Williams

OLB: Derrick Thomas, Clay Matthews

MLB: Zach Thomas

FS: Steve Atwater

SS: Donnie Shell

CB: Aeneas Williams, Troy Vincent

 

My defense is predicated on two key principles: Sure tackling and QB pressure. Going up against insane offenses, you can't expect them to not do anything over the course of a game or make a bunch of stupid mistakes. You can't expect any defense assembled here to stop these offenses 100% of the time, so my goals are to (1) Not beat ourselves with silly things like missed tackles and blown coverages and (2) Do our best to not let anyone establish a consistent rhythm.

 

My defense is designed to play smart above all. One of the key stats I looked at when making defensive selections is tackles. I want guys who are going to make the right plays, and focus on good form instead of simply killing offensive players (not that I don't have some guys who can lay the wood on you). The middle of my defense very strong in this regard. It starts with Zach Thomas and Steve Atwater as my onfield coaches, reading offenses and communicating to make sure everyone is in the right position and knows what's going on. My LB's are all about making tackles and should severely limit big runs (provided they get past the line with Big Jamal Williams clogging the middle). Atwater can play all over the field and can stop the run or the pass very well.

 

The second goal of my defense is to make sure opposing QB's are as uncomfortable as possible in the pocket. My D-line consists of 3 strong pass-rushers (Randle, Simmons, and Kerney) with one huge man (Williams) to eat up multiple blockers. Add in a killer blitzing LB like Derrick Thomas and sacks/hurries should not be an uncommon occurrence with this defense. The other key to the success of the pass rush is a strong secondary that can play one on one. Aeneas Williams, Troy Vincent, and Donnie Shell could all play one on one if they needed to, and in conjunction with Atwater, should be able to close down a lot of passing plays.

 

I feel like I've brought together a very mobile defense that can cover all parts of the field. The dynamic abilities of Derrick Thomas and Steve Atwater are the key. Atwater can cover the middle of the field, allowing Thomas to blitz regularly, or Atwater can play close to line to really put the clamps on opposing running games. Most importantly, everyone on my defense will play smart and force offenses to be perfect to get stuff by us.

 

Special Teams

 

P: Chris Gardocki

K: Adam Vinatieri

KR/PR: Wes Welker

 

Special teams aren't on the field much, but can make key plays (good or bad) that decide games. As with my offense and defense, my goal was to avoid mistakes and guys who have choked in key situations. My punter was never blocked in his career, and it wasn't luck, it was his unique two-step release. My PK has multiple memorable game-winning FG's in the most pressure-packed situations imaginable. Welker is primarily on this team for his offense, but he's snaky returner who almost always gets positive return yards and holds on to the ball. I don't need my special teams to win games for us, but it's nice to know that they can, and at the very least, they certainly won't lose them.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Smartly Pretty

 

QB: Joe Namath

RB: Curtis Martin

FB: Lorenzo Neal

WR: Marvin Harrison, "Bullet" Bob Hayes, Keyshawn Johnson

TE: Jay Novacek

OT: Bruce Matthews, Rosey Brown

OG: Tom Mack, Ruben Brown

C: Jim Ringo

Defense-

DE: Deacon Jones, Mark Gastineau

DT: Cortez Kennedy, Dana Stubblefield

LB: Brian Urlacher, Terrell Suggs, Lance Briggs

CB: Everson Walls, Erich Barnes

S: Deron Cherry, Nolan Cromwell

Special Teams-

KR/PR: Dave Meggett

P/K: Tom Dempsey

Coach-Bill Parcells

 

Football is won in the trenches. There are very few universal truths in American sport, but the idea that a team cannot win a championship with a shoddy offensive line just might be one. The number one cause of high draft pick quarterbacks flopping in the NFL is poor protection from the offensive line (David Carr and Tim Couch say hello!). Having said that, I have the bestoffensive line of any of the 20 participants in the draft. Collectively, my offensive line has 52 pro bowl appearances. Collectively, the offensive line only missed 34 games. Collectively, they played 68 years. They played for 68 years and only missed 34 games! How fucking badass is that? This is a contest, and in a contest you have to reward the contestant when he plays well. For example, John Hannah is a 9 time pro bowl guard, and part of the Hall of Fame Class of 1991. Hannah was selected 32nd overall by jwest27. Tom Mack is an 11 time pro bowler, part of the hall of fame class of 1999, and lead his Rams to a .720 winning percentage and four trips to the NFC championship game in his tenure. I selected Mack in the eleventh round, 209th overall. Similarly, Art Shell at the tackle position is an 8 time pro bowler and part of the Hall of Fame class of 1989. He was selected in round three, 47th overall by CanadianChris. Tackle Rosey Brown is a 9 time pro bowler, on the NFL 75th anniversary team, blocked for two time MVP Y.A. Tittle, one time MVP Charlie Connerly, and one time MVP Frank Gifford. I selected Rosey Brown in the seventh round, 133rd overall. Brown and Mack are players of comparable value, perhaps even more valuable than Hannah and Shell, and yet I managed to select them nine rounds apart and four rounds apart respectively. Should this not be rewarded?

 

Perhaps there’s another universal truth in football, albeit this goes without saying: the object of football is to win games. As an average man once said, “you play to win the game”. That’s why Joe Namath is my quarterback. I don’t need to tell you he guaranteed victory over the Baltimore Colts, you know that. I don’t need to tell you he’s responsible for the NFL-AFL merger, you know that. What do I need to tell you? Well for starters, it’s hard to tackle a guy who just smoked a whole bunch of PCP. It’s pretty much impossible. More important than recreation drug use though, is that Joe Namath is a leader. Joe Namath walks into the locker room and doesn’t just know his team is going to win, he guarantees his team is going to win. He doesn’t have to go at it alone though, he’ll have plenty of help. For starters, he has the receiver who caught more passes than anyone in a single season. He also has the receiver who averages more reception per season than anyone in history. He has the only receiver to catch a pass in every game of their career. Lastly, he has the only player to have 4 straight 100 reception seasons. But the best part?

THEY’RE ALL THE SAME FUCKING PERSON. Marvin Harrison! Harrison has 123 touchdowns to his name, One thousand and forty two receptions and nearly 14,000 yards. He’s not even done yet! Go ahead and double team Marvin though, I dare you. You’ll only be leaving space for Bob motherfucking Hayes. The zone defense was invented for Bob Hayes because the motherfucker was too fast! Hayes won the Gold in 100 meters at the 1964 Tokyo Olympic Games. Hey, all you talking heads who want Usain Bolt to play in the NFL? Already happened. His name was Bullet Bob Hayes. But hey, what’s a receiving core without a pass-catching-monster in the slot? Keyshawn Johnson may very well be the best possession receiver of all time. He didn’t quite have the speed to be the elite #1 that the Jets hoped he might be when they selected him number one overall, but I’m sure they’re satisfied anyway. I am. Blessed with some of the best hands in the game, he became only the third player in NFL history to collect 600 receptions in less than 120 games. The others were Herman Moore and Marvin Harrison. Yeah, that same Marvin Harrison I drafted. That’s all in the air though, and as we know, there are two parts to an offense, the air attack and the running game. I don’t want to make outrageous accusations, but is there a player more under rated than Curtis Martin? Do people realize that this man is 4th all time in career rushing yards? Do people realize that he rushed for over 1,000 yards in every season of his career until the last one, a season that was cut off by injury after 12 games, and he was already at 735 yards? Martin may very well be the most consistent guy to ever carry a football. We don’t have to worry about Martin falling short of 1,000 yards in this draft though - he’s being blocked for by Lorenzo Neal, a four time pro bowler, with a current streak of 11 straight seasons blocking for a 1,000 yard rusher. Also, Martin has a perfect career passer rating. 158.3!

 

The rallying cry for this draft has been that each player represents themselves at their best. When you select Warren Sapp, you’re getting 1999 offensive-linemen-for-breakfast Warren Sapp. If that’s true, can anyone lay claim to having a better defensive line than I? My first overall pick, Deacon Jones, won the Halas trophy (the equivalent of the Defensive Player of the Year in his era) twice. Doesn’t that make him the best defensive player in the entire league at his peak? Mark Gastineau recorded 22 sacks in 1982 and won Defensive Player of the Year honors (if you have any respect for the idea of a “sack” you also know that 22 sacks is a record). Doesn’t that make him the best defensive player in the league at his peak? In 1992, the best defensive tackle of the 1990’s lived up to his enormous hype, and Cortez Kennedy won Defensive Player of the Year. Doesn’t that make him the best defensive player in the league at his peak? The very next year, a defensive tackle by the name of Dana Stubblefield won rookie of the year. Four years later, he was crowned Defensive Player of the Year, recording an 15 sacks as a DT. Doesn’t that make him the best defensive player in the league at his peak? Doesn’t that make my defensive line—at it’s peak—the best?

 

So now that my defensive line has completely has taken double teams, and completely consumed your offensive line, it’s up to the other seven guys to make plays. I don’t have to remind you that Brian Urlacher was a former defensive player of the year, we’ve been through that schtick. I may however have to remind you that Lance Briggs and Terrell Suggs are perhaps the most athletic big men you can find on a football field, and they will get to your running back, and they will get to your quarterback. But let’s pretend for a second that they don’t. They all trip over the same rock, and Ken Anderson somehow has time to throw downfield. In whose direction do you throw? In the direction of Everson Walls? The only player to lead the NFL in interceptions three different times? Or maybe you throw in the direction of 6 time pro bowler Erich Barnes, and his 98.5 yards per interception return. Do you throw over there? Perhaps you try and gun it to the guy Deron Cherry’s on, you know, 1980’s all decade team Deron Cherry. Maybe you even roll the dice and try your luck with a receiver in Nolan Cromwell’s area. He’s only a 4 time Football Digest Defensive Back of the Year, and the 1980 NFC Player of the Year. Not the Defensive NFC player of the year. The NFC Player of the Year. Yeah, great idea. Throw the ball. Hey, you certainly can’t run it.

 

Which brings us to Mr. Duane Charles Parcells. Two time super bowl winner. Named coach of the year in 1994 by four different publications, and three different publications in 86, plus another one in 1996 from Pro Football Weekly. In 1983, he took over a sorry New York Giants team, where he had the eye to select Lawrence Taylor in the draft. Within a year he took them to the playoffs, and they were World Champions within four. He took a New England Patriots team that went 2-14 to the playoffs within one year, and then two years later came within two touchdowns of winning the super bowl. In 1997, Parcells took over the 1-15 New York Jets. they won eight more games the next year, and then in 1998 they went to the AFC Championship game. A game they lead 10-0 in the 3rd quarter, and would have won if Testaverde didn’t lay a fucking egg. It’s ok Vinny, we’re still buds. I see a pattern here, friends. Teams suck until Bill Parcells coaches them. Then they go deep into the playoffs.What’s more is that Bill Parcells had a few players who only seemed to excell under Bill Parcells guidance. I have those players. Without Parcells, Dave Meggett is just another sexual predator. With the Patriots, Giants and Jets however, he’s a deadly quick third down back and one of the best return guys in the game. We all saw how Keyshawn Johnson played under Jon Gruden...but under Parcells we never heard a peep, all we heard was the pigskin clapping his hands as he ran in for a score. What more could you ask for from a coach? Do the most with what you have. Parcells does a lot with, seemingly, not very much.

 

There’s no lack of talent here, though.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Tzar Lysergic

 

Coach- Tom Landry

QB- Michael Vick

RB- Tony Dorsett, Bo Jackson

TE- Ben Coates

TE/H-Back- Billy Cannon

End- Bill Hewitt

OT- Mike Kenn, Bruce Armstrong

OG- Curley Culp, Bruce Bosley

C- Alex Wojciechowicz

DL- Bruce Smith, Doug Atkins, Russell Maryland, "Tombstone" Jackson

LB- Jack Lambert, Chuck Bednarik, Jason Taylor

DB- Darrell Green, Paul Krause, Bob Sanders, Jack Christiansen

KR/PR- Eric Metcalf

K- Mike Vanderjagt

P- Ray Guy

 

There are three phases in a football game. Offense, Defense, and Special Teams. Win two out of three, and that's enough as long as the third piece doesn't lose the game.

 

Clearly, the focus of my defense is on destroying the quarterback and creating negative plays. I have the NFL's all time leaders in sacks and interceptions, and the sack leader for this decade. Only three men on my defense aren't in Canton. Who could possibly be called a weak link here? Russell Maryland, who has 3 rings? Bob Sanders or Jason Taylor? Both of them won DPOY honors. For those who think this defense will be on the field too much, I have to say NAY by pointing out that a bunch of my offensive players played both ways, and will rotate in with my defense.

 

Hewitt, Culp, Woji, and Bosley will all keep the D-line fresh and rotate in with the LBs in certain situations. The blitz packages that can be written up here are just devastating. Imagine Smith, Tombstone, Taylor, Hewitt, and Sanders coming in quickly. That's a sure sack or incomplete pass. Even if a screen pass or slant is used to counter it, the poor slot guy who gets to take a Chuck Bednarik helmet to the ribcage followed by a Jack Lambert cleat to the nuts is going to hobble back to the huddle saying "Don't do that shit again, Tom."

 

I'd also like to say here that I'll take the Pepsi challenge with VX's secondary, which most folks are regarding as the tops in the draft. Green's a first ballot HOF and was at one time the fastest man in the league. He played 20 seasons injury free! That's insane. Christiansen had great hands and was a nightmare returning a turnover and punts. Krause is the natural center fielder to guard against a deep ball (which will be impossible to throw, but whatever), as well as someone to run under a tipped pass, he's the all time leader in INTs for chrissakes! That's a stat that's been tracked since the olden times, too. Bob Sanders is the best safety in the league right now. An absolutely suicidal hitter with outrageous speed and brilliant decision-making skills.

 

There are plenty of hard-nosed running teams here in the draft, too. Good! Coach Landry foiled the seemingly unstoppable Packer Sweep with the flex defense, and pioneered keying RBs and run blitzing. My tackles, Maryland, Atkins, and Culp are all ultra-strong manbeasts that will line up in the pinch, demanding more than one blocker unless the guy's name is Munoz, and he ain't even in this. Basically, this defense is a tireless, ever-changing, masterfully coached killing machine with singular focus to allow nothing. Keep the punter warmed up.

 

Only to have him get creamed. Let's talk special teams. My kick-block unit is sick. ALL of those pass rushers in a big line with Green and Hewitt coming off the edges. Good luck. Metcalf's an all-time great return man. That's swell. Ray Guy has an award named after him. He can coffin-corner, knuckleball, and kick booming floaters that do things like bounce off the rafters of the Superdome. Every offensive possession will start in a bad place with a nightmare defense to deal with. Vanderjagt at his best didn't miss, plain and simple. Plus, he's good for a laugh.

 

Offense: Running. Lots of running. I didn't take an offensive player until the 12th round or some shit, so piss on some high-flying shoot the lights out turf show game. I want a slow moving pile of humans. Max protection for Vick, who will work off of nearly nothing but screens and play action. Bring 'em all up in the box! Vick and Bo are two of the best pure athletes in the history of the league. They can make plays against anyone. Dorsett's a good all-around back.

 

Basically, this offense will not lose a game. They'll also play keepaway from the top-flight offenses drafted before me. Less chances against the meanest defense of all is bad odds. I'm confident this team will win 2/3 phases every single time

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Bristol Palin's Baby Daddy

 

Offense:

QB: John Elway

RB: Jerome Bettis

FB: Marion Motley

WR: Charley Taylor, Charlie Joiner

TE: Jackie Smith

OT: Gary Zimmerman, Dan Dierdorf

OG: Steve Hutchinson, Bill Fralic

C: Kent Hull

Defense:

DE: Richard Dent, Carl Eller

DT: Kevin Williams, Keith Millard

MLB: Mike Singletary

OLB: Greg Lloyd, Chris Hanburger

CB: Lem Barney, Albert Lewis

S: Kenny Easley, Sean Taylor

Special Teams:

K: Matt Stover

P: Jeff Feagles

KR/PR: Gale Sayers

Coach: Hank Stram

 

Backfield: QB John Elway, RB Jerome Bettis, RB Gale Sayers, FB Marion Motley

 

Elway is one of the greatest QB’s of all-time and he should excel on this team. I plan to get him on the move with rollouts and bootlegs to utilize his athletic abilities. There’ll be plenty of shots taken downfield to make use of his strong arm. Elway had his greatest successes when he had a strong running game to back him up. I will use all 3 backs to create a powerful rushing attack. Bettis will be the “starter”, useful for punishing defenses and wearing them down. Sayers will see plenty of carries. He’ll take advantage of tired D’s and break long runs, particularly to the outside. He’ll also catch passes out of the backfield and line up at WR in certain sets. Motley will run the ball out of the fullback spot, as well as in the one-back set. He’ll also be line up a one-back set as a pass blocker and as a TE in a 2 TE formation (a Stram staple) as a run blocker. This offense will be a run-first team, which will help set up the play-action pass.

 

Receivers: WR Charley Taylor, WR Charlie Joiner, TE Jackie Smith

 

Taylor was a very underrated player in his day, retiring as the NFL’s all-time leader in receptions. He was basically Art Monk before Art Monk (the similarities are uncanny). He’s the main target on this team. Taylor was also a RB for a few years so I’m pretty sure he’d be comfortable running a reverse or two. Joiner isn’t the biggest or fastest guy in the world, but he has mastered the art of running routes and always seems to be in the right spot. He’s a guy that I can line up in the slot from time to time. Smith can stretch the field from the TE spot and will also do a great job in the run game blocking next to former teammate Dan Dierdorf.

 

O-line: LT Gary Zimmerman, LG Steve Hutchinson, C Kent Hull, RG Bill Fralic, RT Dan Dierdorf

 

My O-line has 2 Hall of Fame bookends at tackle and 3 All-Pros anchoring the interior of the line. They’re a strong bunch that will create a push in the run game. Zimmerman is a great pass protector at left tackle and the others can hold their own as well. Hull will be effective in directing the O-line calls.

 

D-line: DT Kevin Williams, DT Keith Millard, DE: Richard Dent, DE Carl Eller

 

Williams is the resident run-stuffer of the D-line. Millard is a mean, nasty player who can rush the QB from the interior of the line. Him and Williams are versatile players that can play multiple spots on the D-line Dent and Eller are elite pass rushers that will cause major problems for opponents. They’ll be in a 4-man front most of the time.

 

Linebackers: MLB Mike Singletary, OLB Greg Lloyd, OLB Chris Hanburger

 

Singletary is an exceptional leader and intense competitor. Him and Lloyd will definitely give RB’s headaches all day (literally and figuratively). Hanburger’s more of a technical player, a LB with speed who’s great in coverage. Hank Stram’s defenses used a stack formation, where the LB’s would “hide“ behind the D-line. I believe my front four can put enough pressure on the QB without the LB blitz, but I'll still use it enough times.

 

Secondary: CB Lem Barney, CB Albert Lewis, SS Kenny Easley, FS Sean Taylor

 

This unit is one of the strengths on my team. Barney is a true ball hawk who can take INT’s to the end zone with ease. Lewis is a physical, shutdown corner who isn’t afraid to get into a receiver’s face. Also good at blitzing from the corner spot. Easley and Taylor are two of the hardest-hitting safeties around and have the range to cover well. The secondary will play man-to-man most of the time.

 

Specialists: K Matt Stover, P Jeff Feagles, KR/PR Gale Sayers, PR Lem Barney

 

Stover is virtually automatic from 40 yards in. I won’t ask him to boom too many 50+ yarders, but hey, that’s what Feagles is for. I’d rather force the opponent to take the ball at their own 10-yard line than give it to them at their own 40 from a missed FG. Sayers is an exceptional open-field runner and will handle the primary return duties. Barney will help spell Sayers on some punt returns.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

HarleyQuinn

 

Gotham Harlequins Team

 

With head coach Bill Belichick at the helm, the team has one of the most dedicated coaches in football ever and a modern day defensive genius with two playbooks in the Hall of Fame after stopping the Jim Kelly led Buffalo Bills and the Warner/Faulk led St. Louis Rams. What he'll offer is a keen ability to figure teams out, exploit the strengths, and attack them while crushing the weaknesses too.

 

The Run and Shoot offense will be led by Steve Young, arguably one of the greatest QBs in NFL History and one of the most accurate thanks to his experience with Walsh and the West Coast Offense. You need a cerebral mind and he's got one of the best, able to check down just as easily as he can scramble when the pressure comes which may be fast and often. The backfield is led by Billy Sims and Neal Anderson with both men able blockers, a must at the position, and very underrated running on the ground. Barry Sanders was able to run for 5+ YPC in this offense in Detroit under Mouse Davis... Billy Sims should have no problems and Neal Anderson makes for a good goal line back (as well as bringing experience by playing in this system at college). Neal can also be used in the 2nd half to pound it and wear down the defenses, much like Tiki Barber and Ron Dayne in New York.

 

The receivers are the deadliest part of this team with Sterling Sharpe and Herman Moore offering great size on the outside for smaller cornerbacks to deal with. As if that wasn't enough, the linebackers and safeties have to deal with burners in Paul Warfield and Don Maynard. All four receivers played under quarterbacks who could sling it and Sharpe was coached in the RNS in college at South Carolina. Maynard was known for his ability to improvise and reading coverages and running the right route can make a great player unstoppable. All four are smart and capable of reading the coverage and attacking the openings.

 

The offensive line is a crew of hard nosed tough guys like Jim Lachey of Hog fame, Mick Tingelhoff blocking for Fran Tarkenton, and two guys who played under Lombardi in Jerry Kramer and Forrest Gregg. Mike Michalske is probably the "weakest" option but he played for Green Bay in the 30's under Curly Lambeau.

 

On the defensive side, the 3-4 defense will be spearheaded by the line led by Trace Armstrong, Henry Thomas, and Chris Doleman. Armstrong and Doleman have the size and speed to switch between DE and OLB and both can generate a nasty pass rush at any point in time. Henry Thomas is a force to move at NT. The linebackers are equally adept at switching to a point stance and can play coverage just as easily as pass rush. Rickey Jackson, Romanowski, Chad Brown, and Bill Bergey can all take tough coaching and can lay a hammer on any slot receiver.

 

The secondary is the biggest question mark of the team but all four players can snipe the ball out of the air and not only do that but generate big return yards as well. The most dynamic cornerback ever, Deion Sanders, will help take up a whole side of the field letting the extremely underrated Rolland Lawrence cover on the opposite side. Darren Sharper and Tim McDonald can lay a hit just as easily as they can pick off a pass and all four guys have played on top five defenses... so they understand what it means to be solid all around. Lawrence was also a cornerstone on the secondary of the 1977 Falcons who allowed the fewest points per game from 1970 - 2007 (They held 10 teams to 10 points or less).

 

The final part of the squad is special teams where Brian Mitchell can return the ball for a TD at any given time or hit 30-40 yards with any punt/kick off. He'll be my version of Josh Cribbs, often giving this team a great field position to start off while Eddie Murray is quite capable of booting the 40+ yard kicks that he'll probably be called upon to make quite often. In his career he made 65% from 40-49 and with his big leg, he can learn to be a solid enough punter as well (His 38.5 average on only 5 punts shows promise).

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Brooklyn Zoo

 

Coach: Chuck Noll

QB: Terry Bradshaw

RB: Eric Dickerson

WR: Raymond Berry, Jimmy Smith, Lynn Swann

TE: Todd Christensen, Mark Bavaro

T: Joe Jacoby

G: Ed Budde

C: Jay Hilgenberg

G: Shawn Andrews

T: Winston Hill

DE: Randy White, Charles Mann

DT: Howie Long, Dan Hampton

LB: Dick Butkus, Robert Brazile, DeMarcus Ware

DB: Willie Wood, Ty Law, Ronde Barber, Dick Anderson

P/K: Nick Lowery

KR: Devin Hester

 

My team will run the shit out of Eric Dickerson, which is why I picked two TEs. We're looking to control the ball with some deep balls here and there if the opportunity presents itself. Lynn Swann, Jimmy Smith, and Raymond Berry are all versatile receivers that can get space and go deep. Our next weapon is Todd Christensen who will be used much like Dallas Clark is used in Indy. Bavaro will be added in most run situations, and both will be used at the same time to throw teams off. Our line is pretty big and should be good going up against anybody (6'7, 6'5, 6'3, 6'4, 6'4), and they are blessed with brute strength as well. All of them are winning players, most with Super Bowls to show for it. Terry Bradshaw is of course the leader, who can throw bombs and run a championship caliber offense. His relationship and familiarity with Chuck Noll should make things easier.

 

Our team's strength is our defense which includes 2 formidable pass rushers in Ware and Brazile, a guy who will kill you in Dick Butkus, 3 interchangeable DT/DE's in Randy White, Dan Hampton, and Howie Long all with all-around skills and effective in stopping the run or pass rush situations. Howie Long will also be used as an outside linebacker at times as well. Charles Mann is a good pass rusher that would complete our front seven of destruction. Ty Law and Ronde Barber will beat up receivers, so any receivers facing us will get bumped and pushed on all day. Willie Wood and Dick Anderson are all-pro safeties that should easily hold their own.

 

The secret, or not so secret weapon is Devin Hester. No matter what happens on offense, he will even things up. Kick to him, and we'll score automatically. Don't kick to him, and we'll have good field position. It's pretty much over when you add Hester into the equation.

 

Nick Lowery is a very accurate kicker and can get it in from 50 yards out as well. He'll punt too. Doesn't even matter where it lands cause Howie Long, Dick Butkus and the Steel Curtain 2.0 will be waiting in the wings.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

TheOriginalOrangeGoblin

 

Coach: Tony Dungy

QB: Johnny Unitas

RB: Franco Harris

WR: Chad Johnson, Rod Smith, Gary Clark

TE: John Mackey

T: Tarik Glenn

G: Joe DeLamielleure

C: Jeff Saturday

G: Gene Upshaw

T: Ron Yary

DE: Dwight Freeney, William Fuller

DT: Joe Greene, La'Roi Glover

LB: Jack Ham, Pat Swilling, Chris Spielman

CB: Mike Haynes, Bobby Boyd

S: Ken Houston, Cliff Harris

K: Ryan Longwell

P: Todd Sauerbrun

ST: Bobby Mitchell

 

OFFENSE:

The offense will be focused on running the ball. We will feed Harris around 20 carries a game with Mitchell and John Mackey (a very good blocking tight end) blocking and Mitchell will get around 10-15 carries a game. 2 back sets will be used fairly often since each of my backs can block as well as run the ball. My offensive line isn’t the biggest but is very strong and smart. They will have little trouble pushing the defensive line around and creating holes for the runners. In addition to the run game, we will utilize plenty of play action passing. Saturday and Glenn excel at blocking for the play action and Unitas was very good at releasing the ball quickly and making smart decisions. When not using play action, we will use 3 and 4 wide receiver sets featuring Chad Johnson, Rod Smith, Gary Clark (slot receiver) and Bobby Mitchell (4th receiver). Chad Johnson will be the long ball threat and Rod Smith will be the possession receiver. Smith will get the important first downs and Johnson will get the touchdowns and big yards (which will keep him happy). Mackey, for a tight end, is a pretty big deep threat as he was fast and was known for breaking big runs. On play action, he will often be given a deep route and Smith and Harris will be relied on for short yardage. When trailing by a lot, we will make heavy use of the 4 receiver/1 tight end formation. Unitas will be given free reign with calling audibles (like Manning has now under Dungy). Mitchell will handle all kick returns while he and Mike Haynes will split punt return duty. My offense isn’t flashy but it is efficient and consistent. All of my guys had long, consistent and productive careers (except Ocho Cinco but so far he’s done well in all 3 departments) and all of them excelled in the specific positions I’m using them in.

 

DEFENSE:

 

This is the reason I drafted Tony Dungy as my coach: his Tampa 2 defense was inspired (and is almost identical) to the Steel Curtain defense of the 1970’s. It’s only fitting that the leader of the Steel Curtain, Joe Green, is also the leader of my defense, along with help from another important Steel Curtain alumni, Jack Ham. That kind of consistency between the coach and the defensive leaders is crucial and something most of the other teams don’t have. This defense is highly based on speed and tackling, both areas in which the defensive players I drafted excel. Houston and Harris were both known for their speed, with Houston obviously being recognized as one of the finest safeties to ever play (Harris, himself, is no slouch as his hitting and tackling prowess was legendary). Mike Haynes was an interception machine as his speed and instincts would fit perfectly under Dungy’s system and Bobby Boyd was another quick hitter and ball hawk. Having them, along with Houston and Harris, gives me a diverse secondary that is about as quick as humanly possible. Ham, Swilling and Spielman were all rugged players who had a combination of speed and, especially, tackling ability and strength. My front 4 features 2 guys who excel in Dungy’s system (Freeney and Green) and two guys who are sack machines (Fuller, Glover) who could excel anywhere. My defense may have fewer big names than some others but I drafted guys who specifically fit Dungy’s system and good character guys who would get along under Mean Joe’s leadership. Chemistry and having the specific skills for a system is vital in my opinion and my team excels at both. I firmly believe that my defense is one of the best ones drafted.

 

SPECIAL TEAMS:

 

Longwell has proven himself as being both a good kicker and a clutch kicker during his days in Green Bay. He excelled in some of the worst weather conditions possible so I’m perfectly confident in his abilities anywhere my team plays. Sauerbrun is a good punter who, hopefully, won’t be used that much. And my return game is quite lethal with two legendary return men in Mitchell and Haynes. Each man provides something different (Haynes – speed, Mitchell – shiftiness) which makes them even more dangerous.

 

OVERALL:

 

My team will have chemistry and good work ethic and a killer defense. Our offense will be hard to stop as it will move the chains and eat clock while my secondary will create tons of turnovers, picking off opposing quarterbacks left and right. I believe my team stacks up with any other team drafted. It’s not the flashiest but, at the end of the day, consistency and productivity beats flash 10 times out of 10.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

tl/dr

 

ALSO!

 

DO NOT VOTE FOR YOUR OWN TEAM

[Guest Vitamin X]

I thought we were doing it as a big tournament so that we didn't have to go through the voting twice. Just seed it in the order of the draft, who cares.

[Kahran Ramsus 0]

Yeah, I thought we were just seeding them randomly and then voting on who would win each matchup.

[Just John 0]

Yeah, I don't understand voting twice, since it will give away which teams get the most votes. Just use random.org to seed us 1-16 and let's start the tourney.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

Use one of those wacky online computer random generator things... like here: http://www.fftoolbox.com/draft_order_generator.cfm

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Hey, that's right. Pot.

 

Well, there are the writeups for reference sakes.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

FIRST ROUND MATCHUPS!

Smartly Pretty

EHME

 

Brooklyn Zoo

VX

 

CanadianChris

HarleyQuinn

 

909

JustJohn

 

Bristol Palin's Baby Daddy

Kahran Ramsus

 

Bored

jwest27

 

TheOriginalOrangeGoblin

Tzar

 

Fokai

Gert T

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Vote in the thread. Fuck it.

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

I'm assuming we need to explain each vote.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

I not only focused on overall teams but also focused on the write ups too.

 

EHME

- I simply liked his write up better. SP seemed to waver between "career" accomplishments and peak accomplishments and didn't really treat his team as a team. It came off as "Players X, Y, Z, and W will win me the games!"

 

VX

- Relying on a special teams weapon, run game, and defense doesn't make me think that'll take you far because almost every team short of maybe mine is game planning for that type of style. I liked that VX also pointed out some weaknesses of his team... good knowledge of strength and weakness.

 

- Skipped my game but I should get a bonus for working in the point that my kicker did have 5 punts!

 

JustJohn

- I like his team more overall and think pairing Jimmy Johnson with Brady & a power run game is genius. I also like that his team is focused on smart defense rather than just big hits or big plays like almost every other D write up mentioned.

 

Kahran Ramsus

- Close game but I liked Kahran's write up better overall and especially the fact that he pointed out Pete Retzlaff at TE. I also like the mixture of old school players with modern day players that are at least older than 2-3 years in the league.

 

jwest27

- I liked the write up better and again liked that he was willing to point out his team's deficiency. I also think this is one of the more underrated teams possibly in the league.

 

TheOriginalOrangeGoblin

- Loved the write up as he came off as really understanding and devising the strengths of his team. Another one of the more underrated teams in the league and he connected Dungy to the 70's Steelers D... awesome. Also he wasn't hyping Bob Sanders as a great player at his position (I'm sorry. The guy can be great at times when not injured but seriously? You're trying to hype Bob Freakin' Sanders against some of these other defenses?).

 

Fokai

- Really, really like Peyton in the WCO and the fact that as was pointed out, he can use his RB as essentially a 3rd or 4th receiver on plays. Yeah, all these defenses are nightmarish but teams have proven that a quick screen can dismantle the blitz/pass rush. I also like the defensive depth and the fact that George Blanda can come in and play backup QB (Although I question the Mad Bomber's skill in a WCO).

[Kahran Ramsus 0]

Smartly Pretty over EHME - SP has this won at pretty much every position except RB and in the secondary.

 

VX over Brooklyn Zoo - Brett Favre, Marshall Faulk and a murderous defence? I can't vote against that.

 

CanadianChris over HarleyQuinn - Tough one, since both teams are pretty equal, but Barry Sanders is the difference.

 

JustJohn over 909 – You know how 909 mentioned that he didn’t like Holmgren. Well, that’s what I think of Shanahan.

 

jwest27 over Bored – Taylor & White are almost a wash, but I feel that jwest27 has more depth overall. Plus Lombardi & Staubach are proven winners.

 

TheOriginalOrangeGoblin over Tzar – Tzar’s neglection of offence is going to bite him in the ass.

 

Gert T over Fokai – Gert T did basically the same thing I would have done so I cannot not vote for him.

[Bored 0]

Guess I should have actually spent more than two seconds doing my write up. Oh well.

 

Smartly Pretty - Close but went with what I felt was the better all around team.

 

VX - Tatum & Harrison both will both get cheap shots on BZ's receivers to knock them out early in the game.

 

CanadianChris - Run & shoot is just too much of a gimmick, athough was tempted to go the other way as I think CC's secondary is a bit suspect.

 

909 - Toss up so I went with my huge personal bias and picked Montana over Brady.

 

Bristol Palin's Baby Daddy - Another tough one and again just went with who I felt was the better overall team.

 

Tzar - Although I think he did get way too cute with his offense, he's got the best defense in the draft.

 

Gert T - Was on the same waive length with a lot of his picks so I have to at least have him advance through the first round. In fairness to Fokai he was at a bit of a disadvantage by having to take over for someone who dropped out.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

Smartly Pretty

EHME

 

go team!

 

Brooklyn Zoo

VX

 

I love that VX has Brett Favre on a team coached by John Madden. I can't vote against that.

 

CanadianChris

HarleyQuinn

 

HarleyQuinn has Bill Belichek running a Run and Shoot. Canadian Chris.

 

909

JustJohn

 

This is the closest matchup. Halfway through the drafting I thought for sure Just John would go deep in this, but I'm having a hard time voting against 909's Joe Montana quarterbacked team.

 

Bristol Palin's Baby Daddy

Kahran Ramsus

 

I love Kahran's team defensively. Great secondary with Bob Lily up front is a winning formula.

 

Bored

jwest27

 

I'm just not feeling jwest's team, especially against Bored's linebacker tandem of Lawrence Taylor and Harry Carson. That's fucking frightening.

 

TheOriginalOrangeGoblin

Tzar

 

Agent. Defense wins championships and all that.

 

Fokai

Gert T

 

Gert has OJ and Thurman Thomas running behind a stellar offensive line. Holy hell.