Smartly Pretty Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 All this repentance is making me hungry...
Kinetic Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 Happy Yom Kippur, Jews. I still think it sounds made up.
Lord of The Curry Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 The idea of ones sins being transferred into a chicken is just off-the-wall ridiculous. Sorry Jews.
Kinetic Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 You can't wear leather shoes on Yom Kippur, for some reason. This would seem to leave the door open for leather jackets, hats, any sort of bondage gear, etc. Just no shoes. What gives?
Lord of The Curry Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 For real? That's a bit odd. My job is super dead today as we reside in some pretty Jew-heavy 'hoods and nobody feels like shopping today. Good for my message boarding, bad for my wallet.
Kinetic Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 For true. I looked it up on Wikipedia. Things you can't do on Yom Kippur if you're Jewish: 1. Eating and drinking 2. Wearing leather shoes 3. Bathing/washing 4. Anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions 5. Sexual relations Seems a little out of place. I don't think I could do religion even if I tried.
Lord of The Curry Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 Would masturbation be considered sexual relations?
Kinetic Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 I've spent years arguing that it should be.
CanadianGuitarist Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 With whom? This argument intrigues me. Also, I wanted to use a Simpsons line, but it's essentially been used, even if not directly. Oh crap! I forgot it was today, and made an off-the-cuff Jew joke. I'll tell it tomorrow, when my guilt can subside a little. Fuck it, I'll tell it now. An outing at Boston Pizza was suggested tomorrow, wherein I said they should change the name to "Jerusalem Pizza, since clearly Jews run it; why else would prices be so high?"
Guest C*Z*E*C*H Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 The Kol Nidre is some pretty impressive music.
Lord of The Curry Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 Attn TSM Jews*: Do you rub one out on Yom Kippur? *Do we have any Jews that post here?
Smartly Pretty Posted October 9, 2008 Author Report Posted October 9, 2008 I forgot I wasn't supposed to shower. Oh well. Anyway, no, I will not be masturbating at any point today.
Cheech Tremendous Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 Anyway, no, I will not be masturbating at any point today. Good thing I'm not Jewish. That would be a deal-breaker for me.
Copper Feel Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 Smartly Pretty, are you actually Jewish like, as a religion?
Smartly Pretty Posted October 9, 2008 Author Report Posted October 9, 2008 Smartly Pretty, are you actually Jewish like, as a religion? Not really, but I observe these things because it makes my parents happy. I broke my fast today at about 5 though, which is a little early. I don't even think the sun has actually set quite yet.
Guest C*Z*E*C*H Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 I'm only part Jewish, and I haven't officially converted yet, so I fasted for most-not-all of the day and sat around feeling terrible about what a shithead I've been for the last year, to my parents, to my friends, to my message board acquaintances, how I failed to even make it through 24 stinking hours without getting something to drink knowing that my spiritual standing hung in the balance, and resolved that I'm going to make some serious changes in my life. This is basically what I do every day, skip meals, feel guilty, and plan to do something about it. Next year, though.
Guest Smues Posted October 9, 2008 Report Posted October 9, 2008 It's Yom Kippur Charlie Brown! would be a good special. Especially if made by the mostoffensivevideo.com guys.
Guest Vitamin X Posted October 10, 2008 Report Posted October 10, 2008 Would masturbation be considered sexual relations? No, but it could be 'Anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions'.
Slayer Posted October 10, 2008 Report Posted October 10, 2008 For Yom Kippur I'm going to eat a lot of pork and play with my foreskin
Guest C*Z*E*C*H Posted October 10, 2008 Report Posted October 10, 2008 You missed it, so you'll have to wait another lunar year.
Slayer Posted October 10, 2008 Report Posted October 10, 2008 Shit, another year until my foreskin can atone for its sins then
The Niggardly King Posted October 10, 2008 Report Posted October 10, 2008 I'm only part Jewish, and I haven't officially converted yet, so I fasted for most-not-all of the day and sat around feeling terrible about what a shithead I've been for the last year, to my parents, to my friends, to my message board acquaintances, how I failed to even make it through 24 stinking hours without getting something to drink knowing that my spiritual standing hung in the balance, and resolved that I'm going to make some serious changes in my life. This is basically what I do every day, skip meals, feel guilty, and plan to do something about it. Next year, though. If you haven't hung yourself by May of 2010... I'll be truly shocked.
Brett Favre Posted October 10, 2008 Report Posted October 10, 2008 He might want to delay that a bit cause Iron Man 2 is coming out around that time.
Failed Bridge Posted October 12, 2008 Report Posted October 12, 2008 He's Jewish as a hobby. I read that as "He's a jewish hobbit" at first
SuperJerk Posted October 12, 2008 Report Posted October 12, 2008 Bob Barron is part Jewish. Czech Republic is part, too. Put them both together... ...What a nerdy fucking Jew!
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now