Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 All this repentance is making me hungry... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 Happy Yom Kippur, Jews. I still think it sounds made up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord of The Curry 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 The idea of ones sins being transferred into a chicken is just off-the-wall ridiculous. Sorry Jews. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 You can't wear leather shoes on Yom Kippur, for some reason. This would seem to leave the door open for leather jackets, hats, any sort of bondage gear, etc. Just no shoes. What gives? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord of The Curry 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 For real? That's a bit odd. My job is super dead today as we reside in some pretty Jew-heavy 'hoods and nobody feels like shopping today. Good for my message boarding, bad for my wallet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 For true. I looked it up on Wikipedia. Things you can't do on Yom Kippur if you're Jewish: 1. Eating and drinking 2. Wearing leather shoes 3. Bathing/washing 4. Anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions 5. Sexual relations Seems a little out of place. I don't think I could do religion even if I tried. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord of The Curry 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 Would masturbation be considered sexual relations? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 I've spent years arguing that it should be. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianGuitarist 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 With whom? This argument intrigues me. Also, I wanted to use a Simpsons line, but it's essentially been used, even if not directly. Oh crap! I forgot it was today, and made an off-the-cuff Jew joke. I'll tell it tomorrow, when my guilt can subside a little. Fuck it, I'll tell it now. An outing at Boston Pizza was suggested tomorrow, wherein I said they should change the name to "Jerusalem Pizza, since clearly Jews run it; why else would prices be so high?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C*Z*E*C*H Report post Posted October 9, 2008 The Kol Nidre is some pretty impressive music. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord of The Curry 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 Attn TSM Jews*: Do you rub one out on Yom Kippur? *Do we have any Jews that post here? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob_barron 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 I'm half Jewish. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BUTT 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 So you only rub 1/2 out? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 I forgot I wasn't supposed to shower. Oh well. Anyway, no, I will not be masturbating at any point today. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cheech Tremendous 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 Anyway, no, I will not be masturbating at any point today. Good thing I'm not Jewish. That would be a deal-breaker for me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Copper Feel 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 Smartly Pretty, are you actually Jewish like, as a religion? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C*Z*E*C*H Report post Posted October 9, 2008 He's Jewish as a hobby. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2008 Smartly Pretty, are you actually Jewish like, as a religion? Not really, but I observe these things because it makes my parents happy. I broke my fast today at about 5 though, which is a little early. I don't even think the sun has actually set quite yet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C*Z*E*C*H Report post Posted October 9, 2008 I'm only part Jewish, and I haven't officially converted yet, so I fasted for most-not-all of the day and sat around feeling terrible about what a shithead I've been for the last year, to my parents, to my friends, to my message board acquaintances, how I failed to even make it through 24 stinking hours without getting something to drink knowing that my spiritual standing hung in the balance, and resolved that I'm going to make some serious changes in my life. This is basically what I do every day, skip meals, feel guilty, and plan to do something about it. Next year, though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Smues Report post Posted October 9, 2008 It's Yom Kippur Charlie Brown! would be a good special. Especially if made by the mostoffensivevideo.com guys. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted October 10, 2008 Would masturbation be considered sexual relations? No, but it could be 'Anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions'. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 For Yom Kippur I'm going to eat a lot of pork and play with my foreskin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C*Z*E*C*H Report post Posted October 10, 2008 You missed it, so you'll have to wait another lunar year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 Shit, another year until my foreskin can atone for its sins then Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Niggardly King 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 I'm only part Jewish, and I haven't officially converted yet, so I fasted for most-not-all of the day and sat around feeling terrible about what a shithead I've been for the last year, to my parents, to my friends, to my message board acquaintances, how I failed to even make it through 24 stinking hours without getting something to drink knowing that my spiritual standing hung in the balance, and resolved that I'm going to make some serious changes in my life. This is basically what I do every day, skip meals, feel guilty, and plan to do something about it. Next year, though. If you haven't hung yourself by May of 2010... I'll be truly shocked. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brett Favre 0 Report post Posted October 10, 2008 He might want to delay that a bit cause Iron Man 2 is coming out around that time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Failed Bridge 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2008 He's Jewish as a hobby. I read that as "He's a jewish hobbit" at first Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2008 Bob Barron is part Jewish. Czech Republic is part, too. Put them both together... ...What a nerdy fucking Jew! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
