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Simpsons Episode Draft

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My two backup choices for the last two rounds are still on the board. I don't know what's up with that. Maybe everybody's forgotten them or I have terrible taste in Simpsons episode (I seriously doubt the latter)

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Now to my actual pick, with my sixth round pick I select:






Lisa On Ice/Season 6, Episode 8



Love the Snake-Wiggum scene and of course Homer eating the pie.





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Season 6, Episode 16: Bart vs. Australia


Bart: Hey guys, just so you don't hear any wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia.

Homer: Pfff. That's no reason to block the TV.

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Season Six, Episode 13, And Maggie Makes Three

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This one is my all time personal favorite Treehouse of Horror. Each segment manages to be funnier than the previous one and I'd put all three segments in my Personal Top Ten Treehouse of Horror segments if I were to make such a list. For my next pick, I'm selecting....





"Treehouse of Horror III"



Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware it has a terrible curse.

Homer: Ooh that's bad.

Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!

Homer: That's good!

Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.

Homer: That's bad.

Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.

Homer: That's good!

Shopkeeper: The topping contains potassium benzoate

Homer looks puzzled

Shopkeeper: That's bad

Homer: Can I go now?

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Nice pick. I also love one exchange in the second segment.


Carl: Hey, I heard we're going to Ape Island.

Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape.

Carl: I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.

Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?

Carl: Apes. But they're not so big.

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Season 6, Episode 9: Homer Badman


Homer: Ooh, you like sweets, kids? I know a place that's sweeter than

sweetness itself. In this sweet place, earthly donuts are sour

as poison -- you'd spit them out, you would! [pounds fist]

I'm talking about...[pulls out tickets] the Candy Industry Trade

Show! Hee hee.


Crowd: Two! Four! Six! Eight!

Homer's crime was very great!


"Great" meaning "large" or "immense",

We use it in the pejorative sense!



Jones: Tonight on "Rock Bottom", we go undercover at a sex farm for sex


Farmer: I keep telling you, I just grow sorghum here.

Man: Uh huh. And where are the hookers?

Farmer: [points] 'round back. [realizes] Whoops.


Jones: So, Mr. Simpson: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have

to say in your defense?

Homer: [looking lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot]

Jones: Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further.

[paused shot of Homer grows larger]

No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me. Get back! Get

back! Mist -- Mr. Simpson -- nooo!

Man: [quickly] Dramatization -- may not have happened.


Bumblebee Man: Aie aie aie! Es Homer Simpson. Me ha molestado! Oh!


Marge: There are only 49 stars on that flag.

Abe: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize


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There's a lot of really really good episodes still up for grabs, many of which are kind of surprising. For example,




The Otto Show. "Well, you failed every segment, and misspelled 'bus' on your application". Every single Spinal Tap line is funny.

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My favourite book of all-time is Jurassic Park, so I probably don't have to do too much explaining about my next pick. It is also the source of my most commonly used line from the show, which appears below.




Season 6, Episode 4 - Itchy & Scratchy Land


Homer: Now remember, we're in the Itchy lot.


Now are we supposed to skipping over BPSS or not (he still hasn't made his pick from the last round)? I don't know who I'm supposed to PM.

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I came very close to picking this episode with my last pick.




Season 4, Episode 16 - Duffless


Homer: Well, time to go to work.

Homer's brain: Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the

Duff Brewery tour.

Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan.

Homer's brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing.

[camera pans down to Homer's mouth, but he doesn't say


Well, off to the plant.

Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery.

Homer's brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?

Homer: [panicky] I've got to think of a lie fast!

Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?

Homer: Aah! [Runs off]



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Now there's a beach ball on the field! And the ballboys are discussing which one of them is gonna go get it! That was the only pick since my last one that wasn't on my shortlist. Fuck!


I'll again say "I'm surprised this one's still available". We, perhaps, do not like Roy after all.


250px-Bart'sInnerChild.JPG Bart's inner child.

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Season 7, Episode 20: Bart on the Road


A cup holder! Bart, we've got to stop and get a cup!

-- Milhouse


Marge: [answering] Hello? Oh hello, Principal Skinner. No, Bart

has never been to Hong Kong. Good night.

[hangs up]

[the phone rings again]

[answering] Hello? Tennessee State Police? No, my son's car

was not crushed in Knoxville. I don't know where to begin

telling you what's wrong with that.

[hangs up]

[the phone rings again]

[answering] Hello? No, Bart is not available tomorrow to

deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam.

[Homer, who has dived under the covers, snorts]

Homer, are you laughing at me?



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Well, we're going to have the third Season Seven pick in a row here. I'm certain that this probably isn't the funniest episode left on the board in fact I'm not even sure it features any super big laughs. However, at the same it's a brilliantly written episode and the ending scene is, IMHO, one of the greatest in the show's storied history.

I'm going with...



Season 7, Episode 8

"Mother Simpson"



Homer clears the moss from the headstone of what he thinks is his mother's grave

Homer: I'm sorry I never visit, Mom! I'm just not a cemetery person (reads tombstone engraving) Here lies... (clears the moss away) Walt Whitman!? AAAHHHHH! DAMN YOU WALT WHITMAN! (kicking the stone) I-HATE-YOU-WALT-FREAKING-WHITMAN! "Leaves of Grass", my ass!

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Season 9, Episode 22: Trash of the Titans



Homer Simpson: I came to fight city hall. I want to shake things up, Patterson. Stir up some controversy, rattle a few cages.


[Homer rattles a bird cage]


Ray Patterson: Hey! Stop that!


Homer Simpson: You'll never silence me. I'm the last angry man, Patterson. A crusader for the little guy!


[Homer rattles the bird cage again]


Ray Patterson: Leave the bird alone!


Homer Simpson: Never!

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