NFL Week 17

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

1:00

STL @ ATL

CHI @ HOU

NYG @ MIN

CAR @ NO

CLE @ PIT

OAK @ TB

TEN @ IND

DET @ GB

NE @ BUF

KC @ CIN

 

4:00

JAC @ BAL

MIA @ NYJ

SEA @ ARI

WAS @ SF

DAL @ PHI

 

Night game

DEN @ SD

 

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I'd just like to make the following prediction:

 

The Lions are going to win this Sunday, just so I can hate the Packers even more than I already do. I really really want to see who will definitively be the classiest organization in professional football.

 

[Guest Vitamin X]

If it comes down to the final five minutes of the game, it's in the bag for Detroit.

 

I wonder if there's a way that, if the Packers lose to the Lions, we can just skip right over whoever is between us and Detroit and hell, just take the #1 pick. Not that it'd be much moving up either way- if they lose, it's a 5-11 season and they're pretty much guaranteed a top 10, maybe top 5 pick.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Top five at 5-11? No way.

 

Lions

Rams

Chiefs

Bengals

Browns

Raiders

Seahawks

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPACKERS

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Game I definitely care about: Chargers/Broncos.

 

The winner will host the Colts in the first round, and I feel much more secure about Indy going to Denver than to San Diego.

 

 

[CanadianChris 0]

Game I definitely care about: Chargers/Broncos.

 

The winner will host the Colts in the first round, and I feel much more secure about Indy going to Denver than to San Diego.

I can't see Denver winning this game, I really can't (much to my chagrin). Their #1 running back was selling cellphones for a living two months ago, their #2 back was just signed off the practice squad, and their #3 back is someone they waived just last month. The Chargers should have won in Denver in week 2, and they're going to win this week.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

RaVens have traditionally had problems with Jacksonville dating back to the old AFC Central days but I dont think theres any chance that they blow the chance to make the playoffs by just winning. Also rooting for the Dolphins to win since opening the playoffs vs the Dolphins sounds better than the Patriots.

 

 

 

 

 

[2GOLD 0]

 

If the Chargers win, that first round playoff game with the Colts will be a good one. If Denver wins, that first round game is going to be over by halftime cause Peyton will pick them apart while the Broncos have no answer.

 

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Tennessee/Indy is going to be the shittiest game ever. Divisional opponents that might be facing each other in the playoffs, both with their post-season position sewn up? Neither team is going to tip their hand. Run Run Pass Punt, all the live-long day.

 

More games I care about: Miami/New York. I'd like to see the Dolphins win that so I can be right about picking them to win their division several weeks ago. I also would revel in New England missing the playoffs after eighteen wins and one loss last year.

 

 

Of course, the key NFC North matchups. I expect the Giants to come out and play, actually! I don't think they want the prospect of maybe running into Adrian Peterson in the playoffs. Chicago doesn't scare anybody. They're the Cardinals with shittier weather and no wideouts.

 

I think the Bears are certainly good enough to go to Houston and win. They need to rattle Rosenfels early, though. If he gets in a rhythm and mixes up Andre Johnson and screens to Slaton, Chicago will be in a world of shit.

 

Also: What the fuck is Arizona's problem?

[Cartman 0]

That's ok, I am reveling in the fact that the team that only lost ONE GAME last year lost the most valuable player in the league on day 1, and then continued losing several key players throughout the year and still only lost 5 games in the process. Playoffs or not i'm happy with my team this year.

[Kinetic 0]

All right, I'm officially over not wanting Tampa to make the playoffs. It irks me somewhat that the NFL moved the Dallas/Philadelphia game to 4:15, as the Eagles will know that their season is over before kickoff if Tampa wins. But with jobs surely being on the line, I'm hopeful that they'll do Buccaneers Nation a favor and beat Dallas.

 

Beyond that, I'm hoping that the Dolphins, Chargers, Ravens, and Bears make the playoffs. That last one is only because this place is more entertaining when the Bears are still alive.

[Guest Czecherbear]

Coughlin will make the Giants play. They'd certainly rather play the shitty Bears somewhere down the line than Adrian Peterson. It would still be so Bears for them to come up short in Week 17, though. But let's say they don't. They'll have home field for the first round. That could equalize things enough to win by 3 again or something. Then they'd go to Charlotte and get their asses beat. Matt Forte, though! Holy shit, I don't know if it's just being immediately compared to Cedric Benson or what, but that guy is one special player. One could argue that right now, the best player on all five teams in town is a rookie or sophomore: Forte, Kane or Toews, Rose, Quentin, and...Soto?

[HarleyQuinn 0]

That's ok, I am reveling in the fact that the team that only lost ONE GAME last year lost the most valuable player in the league on day 1, and then continued losing several key players throughout the year and still only lost 5 games in the process. Playoffs or not i'm happy with my team this year.

 

Agreed and I'm continually amazed at not only the level of coaching (obviously) but the importance of depth at positions as well. That's also why pointing out that "Team X has suffered a lot of injuries" means little to me when a team like the Patriots can still win 10-11 games despite losing so many players.

 

I'll also admit that I love seeing the Patriots "run up" the score (i.e. score 40+ in most cases) because it really shows how dangerous the offense can be when running on all cylinders even with a backup QB and a RBBC featuring castoffs (Sammy Morris, Lamont Jordan) and a 3rd down back (Kevin Faulk).

[MFer 0]

Lions aren't winning this game. Let's look at a few key points.

 

1. Detroit hasn't won in Green Bay since 1991 (same season that the Lions won their only playoff game since 1957). Normally I would say that this doesn't matter, but recent history has shown that the Lions aren't good at bucking trends. Even without Favre, the Packers should still be able to take of business at Lambeau.

 

2. A lot of people thought the Lions had a chance against the Jags. The Jags had supposedly quit on Del Rio and were mailing it in. The result? 38-14. Jacksonville sucked before they played the Lions and they sucked afterwards, but when they played the Lions, it was no contest.

 

3. Many people thought the Lions could beat the Vikings at home, since they almost won at the Metrodome earlier in the year. It was close again but Detroit still found a way to lose.

 

4. Some people even thought that Detroit could beat New Orleans, reasoning that the Saints had nothing to play for and were a bad road team. Result? 42-7.

 

5. Now people are gonna come up with the same thing for the Packers, that they're out of the playoffs and have nothing to play for. Problem is that the Lions have a historically bad defense, an inconsistent offense, and bad in-game coaching. Plus the last thing the Packers want to do is end the season by losing to a 0-15 team. The Lions may keep it close, but they're still gonna find a way to lose like they always do.

 

(Note: Detroit has now lost 21 of their last 22 games since starting 6-2 last season. Their only win in that time was at home to a bad Kansas City team.)

[The Niggardly King 0]

Game I definitely care about: Chargers/Broncos.

 

The winner will host the Colts in the first round, and I feel much more secure about Indy going to Denver than to San Diego.

 

Don't worry, it won't be so bad this time around.

[The Niggardly King 0]

so Bears for them

 

Sounds like a new teen drama with a bear playing the part of the chick everyone thinks is a slut.

[cabbageboy 0]

Last week of predictions:

 

1:00

STL @ ATL: Obvious beatdown as the Falcons are playing for the #2 seed and the division. No way is this one close. Atlanta by 20.

CHI @ HOU: I have no idea what to think of the Texans. The Bears have everything to play for here but why is it I just don't see them getting it done? Houston by 3.

NYG @ MIN: I don't really care much for the Vikings with Jackson at QB. This is a tough one since who knows what the Giants will do in terms of playing people, but if they do go all out I'll take NY by 7.

CAR @ NO: Here's an upset pick. After that insane OT game I just can't see Carolina getting up for this one, and the Saints are ultra tough at home. High scoring game, Saints pull it off 35-31.

CLE @ PIT: Squash city. Even if the Steelers rest people they will still cruise here. Steelers by 16.

OAK @ TB: Okay Tampa, you have one shot left to get it done. It's the crappy Raiders, it's at home, but for whatever reason it won't be that easy. Tampa by 4.

TEN @ IND: Nothing game since both teams will likely rest starters. Colts never care about these games, so I'll take TN by 7.

DET @ GB: Historic game for all the wrong reasons. What the hell, just for fun I'll take the Lions by 1 point here on a last second FG. Then watch as GB releases everyone and fires the GM.

NE @ BUF: Bills may well have knocked Denver out of the playoffs last week. Doubt they can do the same here. Pats by 10.

KC @ CIN: What did the world do to deserve this one? Chiefs are somewhat better at a glance so I'll take KC by 6.

 

4:00

JAC @ BAL: Ravens need this one to get in the playoffs and the Jags likely couldn't care less. Baltimore by 12.

MIA @ NYJ: I mentioned a few weeks ago that I thought NE would win this division and I'll stick to that pick. Jets by 3, knocking Miami out and doing themselves no good either.

SEA @ ARI: Doesn't really matter since the Cardinals are in, but they need to win this game to get back some semblance of credibility and finish 9-7. AZ by 10.

WAS @ SF: Redskins shot their load last week to knock off the Eagles. Niners are doing fairly well under Singletary so I'll take them here by 5.

DAL @ PHI: This is the prototypical game where Tony Romo will choke. Doesn't even matter if the Eagles are playing for nothing. Philly by 4.

 

Night game

DEN @ SD: The Broncos could make history here, being the only team ever to be up 3 with 3 to play and not make the playoffs. Chargers are playing well right now so I'll take them by 10, thus giving the Colts a much tougher opponent.

 

[Guest Czecherbear]

The Bears have everything to play for here but why is it I just don't see them getting it done?

Probably has something to do with needing to win last night and only doing so by the grace of Mason Crosby.

 

Green Bay's not firing anybody. After the Favre thing, they need to show solidarity lest they look like a bunch of reactive spazzes. Besides, Rodgers has played admirably for the most part. Not his fault the defense is really injured and keeps allowing 4th quarter comebacks.

[KingPK 0]

So I'm rooting for Brett Favre to NOT throw his annual end of season backbreaking pick this year? I don't like my chances here.

 

Still, 10 or 11 wins without the franchise QB, a true starting RB (though Maroney was hardly one himself), half the defense injured and THAT secondary? I will fucking take it and run.

[naiwf 0]

If the Pats somehow win this division without Brady then Belichick needs to be COTY and Cassel needs to get serious consideration for MVP.

[CanadianChris 0]

Last week of predictions:

CAR @ NO: Here's an upset pick. After that insane OT game I just can't see Carolina getting up for this one, and the Saints are ultra tough at home. High scoring game, Saints pull it off 35-31.

I'd say they'll be able to get up for this one, since they lose the division with a loss and an Atlanta win.

[alfdogg 0]

I'd actually rather play at San Diego than at Denver. I just don't feel that confident playing in that climate against a team that can score like Denver has shown they can. We couldn't manage an offensive TD against the goddamn Cleveland Browns in that weather. Thankfully, they had no offense to speak of, but Denver does.

 

That said, I kind of hope Denver wins, because I hate the Chargers and want to see them fail. Also, I don't really care to hear the "Philip Rivers for MVP" talk that's sure to follow a SD win.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

If the Pats somehow win this division without Brady then Belichick needs to be COTY and Cassel needs to get serious consideration for MVP.

 

Yes.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

STL @ ATL - Potential for the division is on the line for the Falcons.

CHI @ HOU - It's kind of funny to say that a 7-9 Houston team is disappointing.

NYG @ MIN - Home field is officially locked for the Giants, and being on the road, I see them taking a breather in this one. The Vikings need it.

CAR @ NO - I agree with CabbageBoy.

CLE @ PIT - They'll probably gear down, but Cleveland looked awful last week. Even if the Steelers don't use their starters, they should beat Cleveland.

OAK @ TB - Last gasp, and they need help. The schedule is help enough.

TEN @ IND - Hunch.

DET @ GB - Ain't gonna happen. 0-16.

NE @ BUF - Exclamation point to win the division. Buffalo deserved their win last week, but they haven't even come close to beating the Pats over the last few seasons.

KC @ CIN

 

JAC @ BAL

MIA @ NYJ - They'll still need some help from Jacksonville (New England will have the division crown by the time this game kicks off), but with the potential for a playoff spot still there, Favre steps it the fuck up. It'll be moot, though, as Baltimore will also win.

SEA @ ARI - Been iffy the last few weeks, but they build a little of that October momentum to start the playoffs.

WAS @ SF - Power of the stache. It's not working for the Senators, but Washington's been a mess for the last little bit, compared to the improving Niners.

DAL @ PHI - Upset.

 

DEN @ SD - As a Raiders fan, I'd like for them to somehow both lose. San Diego's got a tonne of momentum from winning three in a row, they're at home, and they should have won in week 2. San Diego keeps my ballsy prediction entact.

[Guest Czecherbear]

If the Pats somehow win this division without Brady then Belichick needs to be COTY and Cassel needs to get serious consideration for MVP.

 

Yes.

No. Cassel still has Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and the same offensive line. Anyone's producing with that protection and arsenal. Fuck him.

[Kahran Ramsus 0]

If the Pats somehow win this division without Brady then Belichick needs to be COTY and Cassel needs to get serious consideration for MVP.

 

Yes.

No. Cassel still has Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and the same offensive line. Anyone's producing with that protection and arsenal. Fuck him.

 

Agreed. I've seen Cassel lots this year and he hasn't impressed me. He constantly misses targets and usually just gets bailed out by the talent around him. He's going to be a big bust for whoever decides to give him a big contract this off-season. The difference between him and Brady is night and day.

[JaMarcus Russell's #1 Caucasian Fan 0]

1:00

STL @ ATL- Falcons win in a laugher. The season doesn't end quickly enough for the Rams. Marshall Faulk for head coach!

CHI @ HOU - After a big win, da Bears find a way to screw up.

NYG @ MIN- Coughlin plays starters for a half, but Minnesota is playing for all the marbles here so they win this one.

CAR @ NO- Carolina plays hard to win so they get at least one playoff game at home and the first round bye.

CLE @ PIT- the Steelers put Romeo out of a job in this one.

OAK @ TB- Fuck Gruden.

TEN @ IND- Meaningless game here. Dungy rests his starters.

DET @ GB- Lions get that elusive win.

NE @ BUF - Poor Patriots. 11-5 and out of the playoffs in shameful

KC @ CIN- The Chiefs can't buy a win and Marvin Lewis goes out on a high note.

 

4:00

JAC @ BAL - Baltimore wins and keeps the Jets out of the playoffs

MIA @ NYJ - The Dolphins are on a serious roll and Favre announces his retirement after the game.

SEA @ ARI- Holmgren goes out on a high note.

WAS @ SF- Samurai Mike does enough to be your next head coach of the 49ers

DAL @ PHI- Dallas moves past the overrated Eagles much to the delight of ESPN and the chagrin of TSM. Playoffs in big D!

 

Night game

DEN @ SD - Die Shannahan DIE! I'm going with the lesser of two evils, and predict San Diego smacks the Donkeys into the worst end of the season collapse ever. Hopefully enough to send Shannarat packing.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Top five at 5-11? No way.

 

Lions

Rams

Chiefs

Bengals

Browns

Raiders

Seahawks

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPACKERS

 

While they're assured of being behind the Lions, Bengals, Rams, and Chiefs, the Raiders and Browns would be tied with Green Bay if they finished at 5-11, although I guess the Seahawks would end up at #5, so yeah I guess that's out of the question. Top 8 still isn't too bad, though. Strange how 5-11 this year produces a top 10 pick but back in 2001 after an 9-7 season they had the #10 pick (with which they picked arguably one of the worst busts for a top 10 pick in Jamal Reynolds). There's just a lot of really bad teams in the NFL this year.

[fazzle 0]

If the Pats somehow win this division without Brady then Belichick needs to be COTY and Cassel needs to get serious consideration for MVP.

 

Yes.

No. Cassel still has Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and the same offensive line. Anyone's producing with that protection and arsenal. Fuck him.

 

Coach of the Year SHOULD be between Belichick and Mike Smith. Cassel doesn't even need to be in MVP talks.

 

[Kahran Ramsus 0]

If the Pats somehow win this division without Brady then Belichick needs to be COTY and Cassel needs to get serious consideration for MVP.

 

Yes.

No. Cassel still has Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and the same offensive line. Anyone's producing with that protection and arsenal. Fuck him.

 

Coach of the Year SHOULD be between Belichick and Mike Smith. Cassel doesn't even need to be in MVP talks.

 

I don't see how Belichick should be COTY if Miami ends up winning the division after being 1-15 last year. Sparano needs to be in this discussion for sure.