Caught Jerking

[Dr Funkenstein PhD 0]

I was 15 and my parents were gone, so I wanted to watch porno for the first time on the big screen tv in their room. Never watched porn on such a big tv. Only problem was they weren't really gone and all I could do when my dad walked in was drop from the bed to the floor like an animal and ball up. He just closed the door and it was never spoken of, but man. MAN. Let's share stories and create a brotherhood where we can all comfort each other through our hardships in life. I am new here, but think within time I can be one of the best posters this place has seen.

[TheDevilAndGodAreRagingInsideMe 0]

I'm 23 and I've been walked in on having sex twice, but never got caught spanking it.

[At Home 0]

Never been caught. They only knocked on my locked door.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

Never been caught. I'm like a fucking a ninja when I masturbate.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

I'm 23 and I've been walked in on having sex twice, but never got caught spanking it.

 

The only thing that prevented my grandmother from walking in on myself and my girlfriend, circa age 18, was a thin partisan in my basement room. Not a fun time.

 

Not completely the same thing, but still worth telling, is the time that my girlfriend's mother saw my penis. Summer 2006 on her parents' houseboat I got really, really drunk. And after a day in the sun I would up burning my legs very badly. Seriously, the worst pain that I can remember in my life. But early in the morning, I woke up groggy and in need of urinating, so I slowly made my way from one end of the houseboat to the other, and into the bathroom, which was right across the bunkbed (where her mother and stepfather were sleeping). Standing up and taking a leak, I sleepily nodded off for a brief moment, which was just enough for the rocking boat and my aching legs to betray me. I fell backwards, cock-in-hand, crashing through (but not breaking) the weak bathroom door, striking my head on the frame of the bottom bunk (I was lucky that I didn't split my head open) and landing on the ground, with my feet still in the bathroom and the rest of my body on the outside.

 

It took a moment for me to figure out what was going on, but, by that time, I was looking directly up at her mother, who was starting down at me, trying to figure out what had just happened. It hadn't occurred to me until it was too late that I was still holding my dick. Anyway, I tried my best to play it off, and ran back towards the bed, but before I could lie back down, I puked in my mouth. So, I got to rush back to the bathroom just so I could smuggle the vomit in mouth to the toilet without anybody knowing.

 

That really set myself and my girlfriend's family back quite a bit. It took a long time for me to feel comfortable around them. Years.

[Copper Feel 0]

I was walked in on in the middle of a blowjob once, but I played it off as getting changed into some cleaner jeans.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

Never been caught. I'm like a fucking a ninja when I masturbate.

 

Same here. I jerked off in the hospital, three or four nights in a row with a heart monitor on, last spring. I had to keep an eye on my heart rate, lest a nurse come rushing in to make sure that I wasn't suffering from a tachycardia, and find something arousing on basic cable at the same time.

 

 

The orgasms weren't even that good.

[Gary Floyd 0]

Been caught jerkin' once, when i was five

I enjoy jerkin'

It's just as simple as that.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Holy shit, we got Dr. Funkenstein here now??!!

 

 

Awesome.

[Kinetic 0]

Mercifully, no. There were plenty of times when it could have happened. There was once instance when I was about 13 where I jerked off in the middle of the day at my great-grandparents' house, only separated from my entire family by a door. I could hear everyone milling around outside, and any one of them could have walked in at any time. I shudder when I think about it now. Getting caught would have destroyed my adolesence.

[Gary Floyd 0]

Holy shit, we got Dr. Funkenstein here now??!!

 

 

Awesome.

Better give those war babies an electric spanking you maggot brains.

[King Kamala 0]

Only time I got caught (sort of) was once about six months ago by my brother. He walked in the door just I was skeet skeet skeetin', I had time to wipe most of it up, and pull up my underpants but not my pants and I had the soiled tissues crumpled up in one of my hands. I think he could tell what I'd been doing but for some reason, we proceeded to have an awkward, entirely unrelated conversation instead of me bolting away in embarrassment.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Never been caught beating.

 

Was caught by my ex's mom whilst going down on her. Also another time she walked in on me while I was using their shower, and just looked at my dick for a few seconds and then up at me, smiled, and apologized.

[Brett Favre 0]

One time I passed it off as mucus. I'm clean otherwise.

 

[The Lounge]: Cena's Writer has entered at 11:46 pm

/backtime 15

[mellowblissful] 11:34 pm: I see you like jerking.

[mellowblissful] 11:34 pm: I like jerking too.

[Kinetic] 11:34 pm: asl?

[mellowblissful] 11:34 pm: I don't know what that means.

[Kinetic] 11:35 pm: Conversation over.

[mellowblissful] 11:35 pm: Fair enough.

 

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

Why can't you just blackmail me like any normal person would?

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

I'm not just saying that because you're a black male.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Holy shit, we got Dr. Funkenstein here now??!!

 

 

Awesome.

Better give those war babies an electric spanking you maggot brains.

 

I'm serious, this is one cat to watch out for in 09

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

I'm not like that.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Milky's about to bust out his "I didn't break stroke story"

 

 

I was walked into jerking off to Dolly Parton on Conan by my Dad, I muttered out "uhhhhh...I peed" of all things, my dad went downstairs and later offered me cream as he thought I was scratching my legs due to chaffing from sweat and jeans rubbing.

[haws bah gawd 0]

Was walking in whackin' it by my Grandmother when I was 13 or so. I passed it off as my balls hurt, and I was giving them a visual inspection to make sue all looked well. She bought it.

 

When I was 23, my 17 year old (gotta love that age of consent) girlfriend and I were doing our thing. My mother, who had gone to church, all of a sudden returned to the house about 5 minute after she left. Luckily, she was just getting something out of her room, and never came back our way.

 

 

[The Niggardly King 0]

Was walking in whackin' it by my Grandmother

 

That's quite a cruel joke to play

[Kinetic 0]

lolz.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Dr. Funkenstein? That was a character my friend Ben created for a movie he (sort of) made in 2003. Is it based off of something else? I will have to alert him to this.

[Twisted Intestine 0]

I fucked my girlfriend under some blankets in my parents living room when they were next door in the kitchen because I knew it'd turn her on, which in turn would turn me on. Needless to say, we got walked in on and I just layed on top of her and hoped they'd think we were just cuddling.

[Dr Funkenstein PhD 0]

Well pin a rose on your nose. I didn't make this thread so you can be all bragging about how you get regular sex or all have precious locks on your doors.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

Dr Funkenstein PhD

Boarder

Group: Members

Posts: 1

Joined: 15-January 09

Member No.: 11,353

 

What's going on here?

[At Home 0]

Don't question it.

[Angle-plex 0]

I've got caught multiple times. I've blocked most of them out of my memory though, although horrible images will occasionally pop up in my mind. One I get a hard on, I don't know, all caring and thought toward getting caught goes out the window. I don't think rationally. Plus my door never had a lock when I lived with my parents. I blame my parents, mostly though. My mom would just walk into the bathroom when I was taking a shower or into my room at like 10pm to put clothes away. You don't do that when you have a teenage boy. The only time I think would be my fault was when i jerked it at like 11 in the morning in my room with the door wide open and my dad walked in. That was just poor planning on my part.

[Guest Czech please!]

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Came close once. I'd only got a few strokes in when my dad burst into my room asking me if I had 5 dollars because a guy had shown up at our door doing window-washing and my dad didn't have any change on him. Thankfully he was so excited about this amazing deal on the window washing that he totally ignored my "Dad, I was getting changed" excuses.