The Agent of Oblivion question of the day

[tonyjaymzretro 0]

Truth be told, I can't remember the last time I measured my dick. An old girlfriend of mine once opined that if she had a penis, she'd measure it all the time. I told her that she didn't know the first thing about having a penis, and then belittled her until tears streamed down her face.

 

winner

 

 

 

i have an average irish cock, 6 inches, decent thickness, wild mane. Uncircumsized, and a rather large blue vein on it. Somehow my first g/f nicknamed it Katie. I don't know why.

 

[Nighthawk 0]

[Kinetic 0]

Yes! I love it when we post baby pictures.

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

It's a jungle down there. Nothing in its place. Nothing on the left side like anything on the right side. How many extras are there? Nobody knows. Too many to count. There are glands down there. There's another hole. There are flaps. You know what size it is? Let's see what kind of guesser you are. It's small. I'm guessing it's a size four. In a ladies' size that's as small as cunts come. Anything smaller is a child's. Let's see how you'll fit into a teeny size four. Let's see if a size four doesn't provide just the nicest, warmest, snuggest fuck you've ever dreamed of fucking. You love good leather, you love fine gloves--stick it in. But slowly, slowly. Always the first time stick it in slowly. Shut your eyes and step right up and smell it. Step right up and take a whiff. The swamp. It sucks you in. Smell it. You know what a glove smells like. It smells like the inside of a new car. Well this is what life smells like. Smell the inside of a brand-new pussy.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

I've been lied to before...

[Jingus 0]

I had no idea this was the big penis form, but we have quite a bit of hung members.

No kidding. Especially after doing a bit of research at everyone's favorite semi-credible online encyclopedia:

While results vary across studies, the consensus is that the mean human penis is approximately 12.9–15 cm (5.1–5.9 in) in length... The mean penis size is slightly greater than the median size.

Which means the majority of penises are, in fact, smaller than six inches in length. Which is kinda funny when you consider that six inches is the shortest figure stated by anyone here. So either we just happen to have a membership (ha!) which is freakishly disproportionate compared to the rest of the population, or everyone with a small-to-average dick just happened to miss this thread, or we've got some lying muthafuckas here.

 

And yeah, I do mind, sorry.

[Angle-plex 0]

I've came in my pants so many times reading this thread.

[BUTT 0]

Agnes, you have to rein in the act a little bit or it stops being special.

[Retard Girl 0]

It's a jungle down there. Nothing in its place. Nothing on the left side like anything on the right side. How many extras are there? Nobody knows. Too many to count. There are glands down there. There's another hole. There are flaps. You know what size it is? Let's see what kind of guesser you are. It's small. I'm guessing it's a size four. In a ladies' size that's as small as cunts come. Anything smaller is a child's. Let's see how you'll fit into a teeny size four. Let's see if a size four doesn't provide just the nicest, warmest, snuggest fuck you've ever dreamed of fucking. You love good leather, you love fine gloves--stick it in. But slowly, slowly. Always the first time stick it in slowly. Shut your eyes and step right up and smell it. Step right up and take a whiff. The swamp. It sucks you in. Smell it. You know what a glove smells like. It smells like the inside of a new car. Well this is what life smells like. Smell the inside of a brand-new pussy.

 

 

that was beautiful, maaaan.

[Twisted Intestine 0]

I had no idea this was the big penis form, but we have quite a bit of hung members.

No kidding. Especially after doing a bit of research at everyone's favorite semi-credible online encyclopedia:

While results vary across studies, the consensus is that the mean human penis is approximately 12.9–15 cm (5.1–5.9 in) in length... The mean penis size is slightly greater than the median size.

Which means the majority of penises are, in fact, smaller than six inches in length. Which is kinda funny when you consider that six inches is the shortest figure stated by anyone here. So either we just happen to have a membership (ha!) which is freakishly disproportionate compared to the rest of the population, or everyone with a small-to-average dick just happened to miss this thread, or we've got some lying muthafuckas here.

 

And yeah, I do mind, sorry.

 

That one. People like you won't share.

 

For the record, at just over 6 inches, I consider my dick average size. Anything over 7 inches I consider big. 5-6 is okay... Under 5 is for Asians.

[Jingus 0]

People like you won't share.

Actually, 7.5 inches is my personal record. Nothing new about that, I've said it in the L/S/D folder before. I've got, like, a Slinky thing going with my genitals, since while hard it routinely gets 6-7 inches, but in shrinkage conditions it gets down to the size of my thumb. I'll say that much, I just don't feel comfortable doing the "describe in excruciating detail" thing. Yes, I am aware of the irony of claiming to have a somewhat larger-than-average penis in the same thread I was suspicious of everyone else's claims of such.

[Guest Vitamin X]

I'm fairly average as well (6-7" or something, I guess?) with some above average girth but like Jingus, I didn't really care to read or describe much. It's just a dick, and it serves me pretty damn well for what it's made to do.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

I was blessed with exceptional length, but below average girth and unimpressive balls.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

So, you have a pencil dick.

[Art Sandusky 0]

The global average might be below six inches, but the American average is about six and a half. We kinda rule.

[Tommy 0]

It's just like my old football coach told me: if someone tells you his dick is as thick as an apple and long as a banana, you know he ain't nothing but a fruit.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Shit, shower, and shave! The Three S's, as my father and I call it.