• Remember what I said yesterday about idiots in my area that complained Bill Cowher could never get past the Conference Championship Game? Well, this morning as I was doing some work outside of my office, I got to listen to one dipshit co-worker of mine talk with another about Sunday’s game. Instead of saying how great it was for Shittsburgh (and he is a Steeler fan) to finally win a Super Bowl, all he did was bitch about how horrible Ben Roethlisberger played. When the person he was talking to said that Ben’s performance could have been due to nerves, his reply was “that’s no excuse.” I love this town.
• Speaking of the Super Bowl, a controversy that didn’t take place on the field involved the pre-game ceremony. In one of the more interesting moments in recent Super Bowl history, nearly every Super Bowl MVP was introduced before kickoff. However, two of the better known MVPs, quarterbacks Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw, were missing.
Some media outlets have claimed that Montana wanted a $100,000 appearance fee for attending this event, while Bradshaw said he didn’t want to take part in order to spend more time with his family. (Montana has since said that him asking for $100k is not true.) Believe each quarterback’s story or not, that’s up to you. However, I don’t fault either man for not attending this event; it was their choice. For as much money as both stars made while playing for the NFL, the league capitalized on each man’s achievements as well. But either athlete shouldn’t be shocked when they get greeted at future pubic events with boos from the crowd, which is their choice to do as well.
• The Steelers Super Bowl rally took place today in Shittsburgh, and one of the speakers was Lynn Swann, who is running for Pennsylvania governor. I wonder if this free air-time/publicity is allowed under campaign-finance laws? Then again, current governor Ed Rendell was also at this event, so I guess “equal time” can be applied in this case.
• Speaking of the Shittsburgh Super Bowl rally, a local controversy has started up after a school district cancelled classes today because the school’s band took part in the festivities. I have no problem with parents letting their kids skip school to attend a post-championship rally, but I have a problem when a school district enacts this policy. I remember back when I was in high school and the Penguins won back-to-back Stanley Cup titles; our school didn’t close down so students could attend those rallies. Of course, about one-third of the students didn’t come into class for that day anyway, and the other two-thirds of us spent most of the day in rooms watching the events on television.
• Denmark’s Prime Minister is calling the protests over those Muslim cartoons a global crisis. Right. And speaking of those offensive cartoons, check out what the Muslim world draws in their media. This one is my personal favorite. I especially like the shades of gray used throughout the image; it really goes well with the flying blood and the overall circular feel of the picture.
• Looks like NBC anchor Brian Williams is having trouble trying to recognize two Democrat politicians: Tennessee congressman Harold Ford, Jr., and Illinois Senator Barack Obama. From the Hill: “During NBC’s broadcast, Williams noticed Obama on the House floor and identified him to the viewing audience. Unfortunately it was actually Ford.” Oops. Able to see any resemblance between Ford and Obama? Me neither. I guess Williams got them confused because they both speak so well.
• One reason Jimmy Carter got elected President back in 1976 was because voters were tired of scandals such as Watergate and wanted someone who didn’t appear to be corrupt. Well, the voters got their wish. Instead of being corrupt, Carter was just plain stupid. Now his son is planning a Senate run in Nevada; the good news if he gets elected is that he won’t follow in dad’s footsteps and attempt to broker nuclear deals with third-world nations – at least not in his first term.
• So now Ray Nagin is looking to other countries to help rebuild his flooded city? What he ought to do is contact the United Nations, which is one of the few institutions more corrupt than his city of New Orleans.
• Oh, and speaking of asshole mayors, the one in New London, Conn., is offering a compromise to those homeowners whose property got seized so a private business can make more money for the State. Under this plan, several of the former landowners would be able to say, but they need to pay rent to the city in order to live there. What a great idea. Now even more money will be paid to the State, all in the name of the greater good.
5:45 p.m.
Some queer who used to play in the NBA has now admitted as such. OMG LET'S GIVE HIM A MEDAL~!!!
I bet he liked to drive HARD TO THE HOLE!!! I wonder who he POSTED UP!?!? Was he always out in front, or did he like to COME FROM BEHIND??? When he dunked, I bet he did a JOB on the RIM!!! Acutally, these retarded jokes would work for a guy who likes women, but you see ... he's GAY!!! Where was I going with this? I have no clue. Oh, yeah. He's gay. Big deal. And this interview will be aired on Valentine's Day ... wait a second, his book is called "Man in the Middle"? Now that's funny.
Maybe I'm being too hard on him. After all, with the jock culture I'm sure his life would have been a living hell with the fans, media and other players... huh huh huh, I said "hard on..."
8 p.m.
• So today I went to the bank to get another debit card. For years my former place of employment had direct deposit, so I had no need to go to the ATM machine. Now I will so it was time to get a card. This meant having to go in and talk to some bank person. Yay. To make matters better, I was in my jeans and unshaved-for-two-days face. I love it when this happens because these bank people think I’m some scrub looking to start a $50 super-saver account. Now the guy I dealt with gave the usual “Oh, you have THIS much money with us?” as he pulled up the kkk account, but it was nowhere near the extreme reaction I saw with this lady a few years back.
It was 2003 and the better half and I had just moved back to Pennsylvania. I needed to take my casher’s check that was taken from the Ohio-centered bank and deposit in a more venue-friendly locale. I decided on this one bank for its location. I had just done a few days worth of moving in the dog days of August and once again hadn’t shaved for a few days. As I walked into the bank after a few hours of moving heavy stuff in a duplex that had no air conditioning, I wasn’t at my prettiest. I said to one of the tellers that I wanted to open an account, and I was directed to one of the account managers in those fancy cubicles. I was seated with some middle-aged woman who had a few other things to do. This gave me the chance to listen to the guy sitting in the cubicle next to me, who was pleading his case to that account manager due to a number of checks that he bounced. He kept bitching that the fees charged to him for each bounced check just made his other checks go bad. Uh, that’s why you DON’T BOUNCE CHECKS. He then started this pseudo-sob story about how he doesn’t have a job and all that shit – damn Bush economy. I felt sorrier for the bank employee than I did this douche. Anyway, my account lady came back and began treating me like I was just like that guy sitting in the cubicle next to me. Then she took a look at my cashier’s check and did the following.
She perked up her head.
She opened up her eyes.
She said, “Oh.”
It took everything in me to refrain from laughing out loud. I get that these people deal with a lot of scuzzballs with $100 to their name, but don’t always judge a book by its cover. Of course, all that money eventually went to a house, wedding and credit-card debt relief for the better half. However, with all this taken care of, it’s time to get back to surprising bank people.
9:45 p.m.
• Shoot. I just heard on the local radio station that Boortz is on will replace him with two local schmoes whose short-lived stay on an FM talk channel whose format only lasted six months. And I can't listen to Neal at work anymore on-line. Bastards.
Well Super Bowl XL has come and gone, and I might as well make the obvious “The real MVP for the Steelers were the referees loloneforthethumb2006,” joke and continue on with a few thoughts.
• While Seattle got hit with a few calls, I don’t think it was as bad as some people are saying. For example, I thought the Roethlisberger rushing touchdown was good; even though he tucked the ball in as he was landing on the turf, the ball was extended enough to touch the goal line when he was in mid-air. By no means was this an easy call to make, and it took me almost as much time as it took the officials who reviewed the play to confirm my decision.
That offensive pass interference call which cost Seattle a touchdown is another penalty I don’t have a problem with. Even though Darrell Jackson barely touched the defender covering him, he was still blocking the opponent right in front of an official, and when viewed in real time it looked a lot worse than it did in slow motion. The sad thing about this play is that it appeared Jackson already had position on his defender and didn’t need to do that push off.
The few penalties I had problems/questions about were that one holding call which erased a play that put Seattle on the Steeler one-yard-line and the “cut block” penalty assessed to Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck. I was also curious as to why Steeler linebacker Joey Porter didn’t get a penalty called on him for taking down Shaun Alexander with what looked like a horsecollar tackle. (I could be wrong on this one, but it stuck out when I watched the play.)
• Big Ben has played better postseason games, and that one interception deep in Seahawk territory reminded me of Rodney Harrison’s pick in last year’s AFC Conference Championship game. However, Ben did have his moments. The most notable was when he scrambled out of the pocket, took note of where the line of scrimmage was, not to mention the location of the nearest defenseman, and threw a 37-yard pass to Hines Ward that set up his team's first touchdown.
• My surprise stat of the night: Alexander’s 95-yard rushing effort. I did a double take when I saw how many yards he gained with his 20 carries.
• I agree that Hines Ward should have been the MVP with five catches for 123 yards and a touchdown, as well as a key first-down run that knocked a Seattle safety out for the game. In addition, most of his catches were for first downs, and a number of them were caught despite being poorly thrown by Roethlisberger.
• I wasn’t sure about Seattle's chances coming in. I felt they had all the tools to win, but they never proved to me during the regular season that they could beat stellar competition on the road or on a neutral field. Despite several dropped passes, and some questionable clock management, they showed that they could compete; just not win. For the most part their defense played tough. However, they gave up four plays that gained 155 yards, nearly half of the Steelers' 339 total for the game. My doubts about the Steelers blitzing against the Seahawks' pass protection schemes were proven right for the most part, and Seattle's passing game showed that they could move the ball against Pittsburgh's secondary. But when it came time to make the big play, penalty-free of course, they came up short.
• This game may have been ugly, but the commercials were worse. The only ads I liked were from Budweiser; topping the list was the “streaker” ad. Oh, and after hearing that godawful rendition of our country's National Anthem, I understand why the NFL outsourced the job of halftime entertainment to a group overseas instead of going with some homegrown Motown sounds. I'm sure the NFL even got a great price considering the "wear and tear" of the band they selected.
• I’m happy for Bill Cowher finally winning the big game, because I’m so sick of hearing local idiots around the Shittsburgh area constantly criticizing him and suggesting he needs to be fired. While I have said many times that the Steelers are one of the biggest underachieving teams since the early 1990s, I base this on the fact they have lost four Conference Championship games at home and won one game that they didn’t deserve to win. In addition, in 1992 they had the top seed and lost to Buffalo in the Divisional Round. However, it’s better to have a coach that can get your team to five Conference Championship games in a losing effort than to have a coach which can’t get your team into one.
I remember watching Cowher's first game with the Steelers. Coaching legend Chuck Knoll had retired, and this thirty-something guy with a noticeable chin was taking over. The first game of the Cowher regime was in a hostile Astrodome environment up against a Houston Oilers team that was one of the AFC's best. After not doing much of anything on their first drive of the game, the Steelers faked a punt that was good for a long gain. This gutsy play-call set up an early-game score, taking the crowd out of the rest of game. Ever since then, Cowher has been a fixture on the Steeler sideline, and now, thanks to this championship, he's going to be a fixture in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
• Even though I'm from the Shittsburgh area, I consider myself to be nonpartisan when it comes to the local sports teams. This run the Steelers went on late in the season and in the playoffs was nothing short of amazing. After all those years of coming up short when given home field in the postseason, it's funny to see this team win it all while having to play on the road in some of the most hostile stadiums in the NFL. And while this city loves you guys, don't expect it to last long. While listening to Mark Madden's sports radio show this afternoon, there were several callers already talking about how this team will fare in 2006-2007 with the dozen or so players eligible for free agency in the upcoming off-season.
So exactly how many more months are there until mini-camp?
8 a.m.
• So SUPER TUESDAY has come and went. Whatever. No matter who gets the nomination for my side or the other I’ll probably be ill. Sad thing is, I started thinking about who in my Party could be a viable candidate. I can’t think of anyone. Christ, and my commie neighbors will probably have Hitlery or Obama signs on their lawns this year. I might just get a McCain sign just to piss them off. I still have yet to make my mark on the primary season. Thanks, PA.
• I need to pay attention to the NBA more often than just before playoff time.
You know, I'd like to see this go down just to see Shaq Daddy run up and down the court like a fiend.
6:30 p.m.
• Well today we had to go to the hospital to get kkk jr. out of the better half. The procedure is known as a D&C. The whole thing took about 10-15 minutes, but the waiting/prep/etc. lasted the entire day. Even though the experience was godawful, I’ll say this: After walking by some of the “cancer centers” it could have been MUCH worse.
• I thought about this earlier today while watching footage of the Giants ticker-tape parade. You know who has got to have a shitty job? The people that plan for those kinds of events only to have the hometown team lose. I can’t imagine how much planning would be involved in arranging the security/travel/etc., and then to have nothing to show for it. Ugh.
8:30 p.m.
• You know, I was going to bitch about Fast Eddie and his additional tax ideas, but why bother when I have other reasons to bitch about government spending -- like 2,900,000,000,000 reasons.
I don't know what's sicker. The fact this is the number being proposed or that it's not going to be enough. Party of small government my ass.
• This caught my eye.
I know nothing about NASCAR, other than it makes a shitload of money. But you know what? If you're a NASCAR driver, you should know that there is no pension in place. What does that mean? SAVE your money! INVEST it wisely! Have other LIFE SKILLS besides driving really fast! Now a case could be made for the old-timers who may not have made as much money and helped turn this sport (yes, I called it a sport) into a cash cow, but that's another subject for another time. I'm talking about today's drivers making the big bucks; realize that you won't be doing this forever. Prepare for that.
Then again, if the rest of us don't save, why should NASCAR drivers?
8 p.m.
• I saw this on TSM, but I wanted to get more news on it. Oh hell no.
Words can't express how pissed Indy 4 makes me. Well, not pissed that I'd go out and kill. It's about as pissed as I'll get when it comes to movies that shouldn't be made. I'm sure I'll rant about why I hate this idea someday, but I just don't feel like it right now.
12:30 p.m.
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call(ers) of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this. Chick number one: She’s living with her boyfriend and away from her parents so she’s “depressed.” The other night her and the boyfriend got into a huge fight because “he’s not there to console me.” She can’t remember what she said to him during this fight, but she knows it caused him to rip apart a wall. OK then. Chick number two: She’s asking for advice about her boyfriend who “turned Christian” early in their relationship and caught him going after 13- to- 15 year-old girls on My Space. He’s also mad at her because she’s not a virgin. And this is only in the show’s first segment.
Do you really care where the maple syrup comes from? That is unless you want to find out how to have it mask the general stench of your city even more than it already does.
7:30 p.m.
• President Hussein doesn't care about Kentucky-ians.
By the way, how come our president hasn't done more for the fine citizens of the Midwest? Oh, that's right. Because there aren't any welfare recipients standing around going "now who's going to pay my bills?" Then again, why would they -- it's f'n COLD outside.
• So I was listening to some commentaries from season one of “The Shield” last night, and in the episode dealing with the migrant workers someone (I think it was series creator Shawn Ryan) was talking about how they managed to get all points of view regarding the illegal immigration issue expressed in that broadcast. Interesting to me was when he said the “right-wing” perspective on illegal immigration was that they (illegal aliens) provide cheap labor to businesses. Being a proud member of the right-wing conspiracy, I had always thought the “right-wing” take on illegal immigrants was that they shouldn’t be in America doing anything, whether it is construction labor or collecting welfare. I always considered the whole “cheap labor” argument to be the businessman’s perspective, and although Democrats are the party of the poor and illiterate, there are still many in this group who contribute to the public coffers, rather than take from them.
Another thing I learned from the commentaries I listened to last night was when Ryan said that his wife plays the role of Vic Mackey’s wife. Interesting. I can’t wait to hear the commentary (if there is one) of the episode where she is filmed walking around in her panties.
• The 2006 NFL Hall of Fame inductee class includes quarterbacks Troy Aikman and Warren Moon, along with the now-deceased defensive end Reggie White. One quote I found funny regarding this story was from White’s wife, Sara, who said, “Every city embraced Reggie as a player and as a person.” I’m not so sure San Francisco took Reggie in with open arms, but who am I to question a grieving widow?
Another person elected to this year's hall of fame class was John Madden. Among his accomplishments include an extremely short-lived NFL career (he got hurt in his first pre-season as a Philadelphia Eagle and never laced up for another game), a successful coaching career with the Oakland Raiders that saw him as the winningest coach of the 1970s, a broadcasting stint that never seems to end, and a dominant video game franchise to his name. Madden is one of those people you either love or hate, and while his best days in the broadcasting booth are long behind him, I’m still a fan. It’s true his insights aren’t that, well, insightful, but let the man do his thing until he decides to call it quits.
• For all you New Hampshire bitches that voted against taking Supreme Court Justice David Souter’s house in order to build a hotel that would bring in more revenue for “the greater good” of your area, don’t start whining when the State confiscates your land to give to some developer wanting to build condos or a strip mall. Maybe Souter could rent you out a room at his place.
• Castro is going after the “new rich” in his communist utopia. In other words, those who can afford microwave popcorn and peanut butter. That's some crazy stuff; I didn't even know they had microwaves in Havanna.
• Well, it’s nice to know Bush is no longer being compared to Hitler. According to Hugo Chavez, he’s now worse than old Adolf.
• Oh, and speaking of Hitler, not only did he want to kill those people in New Orleans affected by Hurricane Katrinia, he also wants them to stay in jail.
• Two of Britain’s candy makers are now putting warning labels on their products that tell consumers these products should be part of a balanced diet. This of course means these warning labels will be appearing soon across the Pond in the United States. That is if lawsuits by 500-lb. plantiffs who didn't know eating a dozen Hershey bars per day was bad for them don't sprout up first.
• I’ve had steaks languish in the freezer for a few months before; I’d shudder to think what this 20-year old meat would have looked like. Also, how exactly was this meat discovered after 20 years anyway?
• And finally, on Super Bowl Sunday, here’s another example of why Steeler fans are different from me and you.
7:45 p.m.
• Of course, I haven’t talked about the most important thing regarding this year’s Super Bowl: How were the ads? Not good, I’m afraid. Below are my opinions regarding this year's batch.
“Reception” by Bud. Whatever.
“Class Mencia” by Bud. I knew where this was going five seconds into this ad, and I like Carlos Mencia so I’m probably a bit biased with this one. One of my preferred ads, but that’s not saying much with this year's crop.
“Live the Flavor” by Doritos. Was this the homemade ad that aired? If so, it wasn’t half bad. Hell, if that chick would have been on all fours for the entire 30 seconds, this would be my favorite commercial of the night.
“Snickers Super Bowl Ad.” Retarded. And no, it’s not because I’m a homophobe. I’m all about making fun of rednecks, those with mullets or other semblances of white trash, but it just wasn’t all that humorous.
“Rock Paper Scissors” by Bud. Eh.
“But He has Bud Light.” This one was so-so up until the end when the Ax guy comments on Chainsaw Man. That got a laugh out of me.
“Fist Bump” by Bud. Fist bump in the face the people that came up with this one.
“Coca-Cola Videogame.” I thought the ad was dumb, but I did like the animation, if that makes any sense.
“RollinVIP” by Nationwide. Fuck the fast-food haters, I liked this one. A lot. And until this ad I had never heard the former Mr. Spears talk.
“Comb-Over” by Sierra Mist. And that Ian Black guy goofs on other people from decades past?
“We’re Obsessed with Quality” by GM. The only thing that made me laugh is knowing that union workers are “obsessed with quality.” Otherwise, awful.
“Dalmation” by Bud. I’m sure a lot of people liked this one, but not me. Nothing wrong with having dogs in your ads, though.
“Boogeyman” by Emerald Nuts. “Robert Goulet appears and messes with your stuff.” What the hell? I’m saying “what the hell” in a good way, mind you.
“Check Out Girl” by Doritos. I guess this won that hippie contest, too. I liked the first one better. Much better. Get this chick down on all fours and you can put a saddle on her. ... After getting that image into my head, I think I might have to amend my previous sentence.
“New Steak Grilled Taquitos” by Taco Bell. Similar to the Dalmatian ad, I’m sure people liked this one; I just didn’t.
“Promotion Pit” By Career Builder. I don’t really care for this ad, but having gone through the experiences I have in the past three years at my place of employment, I think I like these kinds of ads more than I normally would if I were working at some place not headed up by fucking idiots. The “delivery guy” earned a chuckle.
“Generic Ad Name” by Garmin. Was over-the-top and dumb, but that’s a good thing. I approve.
“King Crab” by Bud. Didn’t care for it. Then again, I’m not a beer drinker so my opinion on these Bud ads may be tainted.
“Not What it Seems” by FedEx. There have been some funny FedEx ads like this in the past, but this ain’t one of them.
“Happiness Factory" By Coca-Cola. The fuck? People spent money making this shit?
“Darts & Jungle” by Career Builder. Not as well-liked as the above Career Builder. The “lemming shot” was good, though.
“Great Apes” by Bud. Stupid.
“Moon Office” by FedEx. Ugh. Stick to the “office-type” ads.
“Finger” by E-Trade. Wasn’t bad. Wasn’t great. I was waiting for the "middle finger" reference.
“Go Daddy.” I’ve never liked these Go Daddy ads. Hey, let’s put a chick with big tits in front of a camera wearing one of our shirts! See, with the Doritos ad I mentioned above dealing with the chick on all fours, that image was only on for a second, leaving much to the imagination. If you’re going to exploit big-chested women with nothing in-between their ears and an inferno in-between their legs, at least make it somewhat amusing.
“Hard to Say Goodbye” by the NFL. The Radier scenes were cute.
“Car Wash” by Chevy. Dreadful.
“Connectile Dysfunction” by Sprint. This is one of my favorite ads of the lot, if only because it’s goofing on all those four-hour boner ads. Or at least that’s my opinion of what they were trying to get across.
“Performance Evaluation” by Career Builder. I didn’t see this one during the game; I think this is my favorite Career Builder ad so far.
“Tundra Ramp” by Toyota. Those ads didn’t do it for me. Then again, I don’t beat off to vehicles that have oodles of horsepower and all that other shit.
“Karate” by Sierra Mist. They thought it was a good idea to make more than one Ian Black ad? I'm going to pretend that guy who makes fun of Hot Pockets weren't in these ads, too.
“Black History Timeline” by Coca-Cola. Do I really need to comment on this one?
“Autograph” by Foot Locker. No.
“JayZ vs. Shula” by Bud. Didn’t see this one during the game. Eh.
“Wild Hogs Movie.” The “But all I could think of was black jokes” line was amusing, but otherwise, ugh.
“Bank Robbery” by E-Trade. I feel for what they were trying to do, so I’m not going to hate on it…
“Meet the Robinsons Movie.” … But I WILL hate on this. What the fuck?!
“Green Tea” by Snapple. “It’s on the back of the bottle.” I knew it was coming, but the Jap's delivery was solid.
“See Saw” by Toyota. See my previous Toyota comment.
“Ain’t We Got Love” by Chevy. I really liked this one. Way, way more better than “This is Our Country.” I marked out when I heard LL.
“Orange County Choppers” by HP. So Orange County Choppers is a motorcycle business? I always wondered what those clothing items were pimping.
“Beat Your Heart Risk” by some hippie organization. Who made this shit?
“A Man’s Walk” by Van Heusen. The old “re-wind the ad” trick. Sorry, but I liked it better when alcohol companies did it with ads showing who the designated driver would be in a group of friends.
“Pride Movie.” First there was the football movie “Remember the Titans” that showed us the evils of RACISM. Then there was “Glory Road,” taking us through the struggles of black people playing college basketball. Now there’s a SWIMMING movie about this subject?
“Fuel Efficient Cars are the Shizzle,” by Honda. Oh boy, another ad showing a bunch of cars driving across barren land in pretty patterns. Click.
“Hannibal Rising.” I’m not a huge Hannibal fan, but I’ll watch these movies. I won’t watch them in a theater though. This will be a DVD’er.
“Men of the Year” by the United Way. Fuck this commie organization and their sexist hiring practices.
“Sales Genie.” Retarded. Simply retarded.
“Sheryl Crow Ad” by Revlon. I hate Sheryl Crow. Really, really, really hate her. Almost as much as I hate nl-asshole. That’s all I’m going to say about this one.
“Honda CR-V.” At least it had that “Hunka Burning Love” song. That’s about all I can say about this one.
“Flomax Ad.” Oh for Christ’s sake. Another one of these “Here’s to men” ads with them doing gay things like biking and boating. And they’re drinking WATER! I hate these ads. You know when the cameras stop rolling they’re all BUTT-fucking each other. “Real men” go out in the woods drinking bear, hunting defenseless animals and don’t care about having to go to the bathroom because they just piss in the bushes. Then again, I really wouldn’t know because I don’t hunt. But I bet that's what they do. And BUTT-fuck each other, of course.
OK, now let me scan through this list and come up with my insta-top five ads.
5) “Boogeyman,” by Emerald Nuts.
4) “Green Tea,” by Snapple.
3) “RollinVIP” by Nationwide.
2) “Connectile Dysfunction,” by Sprint.
1) “Ain’t We Got Love,” by Chevy.
You're a fighter. Stay on the court for another four, maybe eight years, before stepping down.
10 a.m.
• This is one fucked up story. And don't even bother with the "Big Beaver" jokes. I beat you to the donkey punch. The last sentence is ... well. Just read.
Many choices I make in life I try to base on “principle.” One of them is where I get my news. Yeah, yeah, yeah, OMG FAUX NEWS LOL2006! Drudge’s sirens, red headlines and DEVELOPING exclusives! RIGHT-WING RADIO! In this instance I'm not talking about these particular media outlets; I am instead referring to the local newspapers in my area. In the Shittsburgh region, there are two “major” daily publications: the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. The Post-Gazette is by far the more widely read of the two. It also happens to be a liberal rag.
There are a lot of reasons why I can’t stand the Post-Gazette. One example is back in the late 1990s when the region faced a referendum on whether to increase the county’s sales tax by a fraction of a percent in order to help fund new stadiums for the Steelers and Pirates. Of course the Post-Gazette was all for this. During the months leading up to the vote, there was story after story about how great this tax was going to be for the region. However, there was one thing the Post-Gazette never seemed to mention: the fact that the newspaper owned a minority share of the Pirates. It’s interesting that this little tidbit was rarely, if ever, mentioned when it should have been noted in nearly every article about this tax increase so the reader could know about a potential conflict of interest. Of course when the referendum crashed and burned, despite the Post-Gazette and other tax supporters warning that the Pirates were going to move to another state, the stadiums were built anyway with a different source of funding. While the excuse made by the Post-Gazette was that their share in the Pirates was small, would they be just as understanding to a politician who was in a similar situation? (The answer, by the way, is "no.")
Another memory I have of the Post-Gazette took place more than a decade ago. This time the paper wrote a favorable editorial about the doubling of a toll for a local expressway, stating that commuters using this road should pay for the convenience. A few weeks later these same people wrote a negative editorial about a local bank raising its ATM service fee. Now besides the fact that the first fee increase was done by the government and the second increase was done by a private institution, what’s the difference between the two increases? Both are “service-oriented” tolls that can be avoided by a consumer, and both were of a similar amount (something like 50 cents). One just happened to make an evil corporation richer while the other paid for more construction workers to stand around a gravel pit and play with big machines.
A more recent oldie-but-goldie came when the Post-Gazette weighed in on the Kelo v. New London case that went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. Basically, this was an eminent domain situation where the State wanted to take the homes of residents and give the land to a private developer. In their praising of this decision, it’s interesting to note how the Post-Gazette labeled three of the Justices who dissented as “conservative” yet don’t use any adjectives to describe the five communists that said it’s OK for the State to take a person’s land and give it to someone else who will, in theory, generate more tax revenue, thus contributing to the “greater good” of an area.
When I decided to subscribe to a local newspaper I did not want to become a regular customer of the left-wing Post-Gazette. I turned to the Tribune-Review, a much more conservative publication funded by the “George Soros of the right-wing” Richard Mellon Scaife. I didn’t care much about the actual news content I was buying since I read on the Internet most of the wire articles both newspapers use. All I wanted was a Sunday newspaper so I could clip coupons and look through weekly circulars.
I ordered a year’s subscription to the Trib, and the service I received during those 12 months was less-than-stellar. My subscription was for Sunday newspapers only, and for the year I was a subscriber I didn’t receive my publication in at least eight instances. When it came time to renew my subscription, I decided to wait and see if the Trib would contact me and offer me some sort of deal because I certainly wasn’t going to pay full price for this pisspoor service. (My original offer was a discounted “new customer” promotion.)
After my subscription expired, I received some extra issues in the weeks that followed, which was expected. Whenever I got stiffed on my Sunday newspaper, I let the Trib home office know about it and they’d give me a credit. Well, this past week, I got a letter from the Trib. Was it an special offer to renew my subscription? No.
It was a bill for two month’s worth of newspapers delivered to my house.
Curious about this bill, I called the Trib and was told by a customer service representative that my subscription ran out and this fee was for the newspapers I received that weren’t part of my subscription. She added that unless I called the Tib and specifically told them not to renew my subscription, that they would assume I wanted my subscription renewed. Now I have subscribed to at least a half-dozen news publications in my lifetime, and whenever I decided not to re-subscribe I didn't have to call and tell them of my decision. When my subscriptions ran out at these other places, I simply stopped getting their publications.
When I told this lady how could the Trib have known what I wanted to do in regards to my account, she said that sending issues to people that haven’t re-subscribed was company policy. I then told her that these Sunday newspapers stopped arriving at my house more than a month ago, thus showing me the Trib must have realized that I no longer wanted their service; otherwise, I would be still getting newspapers. I encountered an extended pause, followed by “I’m sorry,” to which I replied, “No, I’m sorry because the Tribune-Review will never have me as a regular subscriber again.”
Now what am I to do? Go to the liberal rag in town for my weekly coupons or stick with the right-wing tabloid that screwed me out of a few bucks? Well, unless I get a subscription deal from either publication, I will just drive down to a local business that sells newspapers (there are several located less than a mile from my house), and get whatever one is available.
This week, the Post-Gazette’s early Sunday edition is my coupon-clipper of choice. I’m still deciding on whether or not to read the editorial page, though.
10:30 p.m.
• Esiason just said it was great that Tony Dungy gave thanks to "his" God. Esiason is a Muslim? Maybe that's why he's called "Boom"er.
10:15 p.m.
• I love Tony Dungy. When asked in the post-game segment about him being THE FIRST BLACK HEAD COACH TO WIN A SUPER BOWL, he said that was significant, but it was more significant that he and Lovie Smith were CHRISTIAN coaches. The New York Slimes is going to hate printing that.
10 p.m.
• The MVP award will probably go to Manning, but I'd vote for Colts' running backs. I think "co-" awards are gay, but Rhodes has 110+ yards rushing, and Addai has 10 catches.
9:45 p.m.
• No more "CONGRATS BLACK PEOPLE FOR HAVING TWO HEAD COACHES IN THIS GAME" ads. Please. For the love of God. Also, ain't it funny that in this game that features TWO BLACK HEAD COACHES, the most notable person in this game (unless something drastic happens in the last seven minutes of regulation) is the Jew quarterback?
• Don't blame me. I voted for Swann.
2 p.m.
• Hey, did I mention I went two-for-two in my Conference Championship picks? Yay, and stuff. Now it’s time to pick the Super Bowl. How will this game go? Who knows. I can see this contest going a number of ways. Will the Colts light up the scoreboard like the 49ers did against the Chargers back in XXIX, or will the Bears grind it out against a much more potent offense than their own, like the Giants did against the Bills in XXV? Will a big special teams play turn the course of the game, like the Packers had in Desmond Howard against the Patriots in XXXI? all of these scenarios are possible; all you have to do is just pick one and hope it works out. When looking at Super Bowls, particularly ones more recent, two things come to mind.
A great defense tends to best a great offense.
With all the hype leading up to this game, many times it seems it takes a quarter or so for one team (or both) to get situated.
Another thing I look at is the secondary matchup. Sure the marquee contest is Indy’s offense against Chicago’s defense. However, the game will probably be determined when the other units are on the field. If the Colts defense stuffs the Bears offense, it’s over and vice versa. Because of everything I have mentioned above, I’m going with the Bears 23, Colts 20. I’m now expecting a 49-0 blowout of the Bears in a few hours.
• One sorta tradition I have done off and on during this time of the year is watching highlights from previous Super Bowls. I just watched a few hours’ worth this afternoon, and I have to say that I don’t like the seemingly recent trend of mentioning what the halftime show was about. The Eagles/Pats recap talked about Paul McCartney, and the Seahawks/Steelers show mentioned the Rolling Stones. Odd how the Panthers/Patriots mid-game entertainment wasn’t mentioned. I have to say I don’t like the “newer” Super Bowl recaps of the 90s-00s, but whatever. NFL Films knows more than me about the subject of video production.
7:15 p.m.
• So I watched a bit of the Super Bowl last night – didn’t see the end, though. This was a weird game for me because I really didn’t care for either team. I don’t like Emily, but knowing that Randy Moss could get a ring was way too much for me to bear. I wasn’t a big Plaxico Burress fan when he was a Steeler, even though I never doubted his talent. However, he won me over this year by playing with that bad ankle (not like winning over some miserable bastard is something to put on the old resume). Even though there were players on both teams I didn’t like, there were some that I did. I never had anything bad to say about Junior Seau, and I always liked the way Michael Strahan presented himself to the media. Hopefully, he’s learned to stop messing around with those white girls.
Even though I didn’t make a prediction before the game, I thought the Patriots would win. I was guessing it would either be a blowout by New England or a low-scoring affair (Real genius there; what else would it have been – a Giants blowout?)
• Oh, and another big story during this Super Bowl time was my U.S. Senator crazy Arlen dredging up “spy-gate” right before the Big Game. (Can I still say that without being sued by the NFL?)
Look, for those that don’t live in the commonwealth, Arlen does this stuff all the time. For those who still remember (or care), when it was time to convict Bill Clinton back in ’98, Alren invoked some “Scottish law” thing and didn’t vote. Then, shortly after Bill’s meat was off the hook, Spector began talking about this other thing that Clinton should be impeached for doing and that the whole process should start back up again. That’s our Alren. (Do I even need to mention the single bullet theory?)
For the record, I voted for Arlen in the last election and in a primary against a much more conservative Pat Toomey. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
You're talking about raising taxes AND bailing out the two Philadelphia daily newspapers. Is it 2010 yet?
3:15 p.m.
• So for those itching for a fix of what’s been going on with the kkk household, here’s an update.
-- The crack-whore niece-in-law squirted out a kid in December.
-- The crack-whore niece-in-law walked in on her baby’s daddy having sex with another person … in the house they live together at … while the crack-whore niece-in-law was fully awake.
-- The crack-whore niece-in-law, along with her bastard child, is now living with my mother-in-law.
-- The crack-whore niece-in-law has gone to more welfare offices than I knew existed this past week, and the better half told me that the commonwealth of Pennsylvania will be charging the baby’s daddy with the hospital bill for the bastard child squirting out. (Oh, and because the crack-whore niece-in-law smoked and did drugs during pregnancy, the bastard child was brought into this world strung out and needed medical attention right off the bat.) The total cost being sent to the baby’s daddy? $20,000.
Now here is where I come in. Am I offering any aid, assistance or comfort to the crack-whore niece-in-law?
FUCK NO
And if you thought otherwise, just how long have you been reading this blog?
What I am going to do is rescue the four cats that are still at the baby’s daddy house. Why are there four? Because the crack-whore niece-in-law adopted a cat, did not get it fixed, and it ran off and got knocked up. Gee, that sounds awfully familiar. Who says pets don’t take after their owners?
Anyway, the crack-whore niece-in-law is at yet ANOTHER welfare office today, so I’m not sure when the kitties will be arriving at the kkk household. Why are the cats going to take refuge here? Because we are more than convinced that once the baby’s daddy gets the $20k bill those cats are as good as dead. The better half told me that the medical bill will be arriving in his mailbox sometime next week, so I’ll be expecting the new arrivals either today, tomorrow or sometime this weekend.
While I’m on this subject, how come the baby’s daddy has to foot the ENTIRE medical bill? How about splitting it down the middle between him and the crack-whore niece-in-law? Oh, that’s right. The crack-whore niece-in-law is a leech to society. Man, whenever my mother-in-law keels over, the crack-whore niece-in-law is in some serious trouble. My father-in-law, if he doesn’t keel over first, won’t be doing jack shit for her, nor will the kkk household. She’ll have to fill out her cash assistance forms all by herself. Oh noes.
And just think. Whenever you hear a politician or advocacy group say we don’t do enough for the poor, think of the crack-whore niece-in-law.
• I was listening to Rush today on RIGHT-WING RADIO, and he busted out an audio clip of that infamous ESPN Sunday Countdown where he said those mean things about Donovan McNabb being overrated because the mainstream sports media want black quarterbacks to succeed. It has been a while since I saw that Countdown episode, and I’m glad I got to hear this segment again because it was more hilarious the second time around. Not only did I get to relive Michael Irvin’s “He has a point” remark, but also, interestingly enough, nobody on the panel reacted with offense to Rush’s dreaded “overrated” line when it was first uttered, not even Chris “I never saw Donovan McNabb as a black quarterback ever …ever …” Berman. In addition, there weren’t any little black kids asking Tom Jackson if it is OK for them to be quarterbacks. Fuck you ESPN, fuck you Berman, and Fuck you Jackson.
• So what exactly is the worst thing you can do to a Muslim male nowadays? Is it cramming a bunch of them in a crappy boat that’s destined to sink? No sir. It looks like drawing funny pictures of Mohammad is the answer. Why do I say this? Because a bunch of Muslims are up in arms at a Danish newspaper that had the audacity to publish back in September some caricatures of this prophet of Allah, which I guess is forbidden to do in the Muslim world, much like it is to have literate wives and daughters that want professional careers.
In a show of solidarity, and an unusual display of spine, other European newspapers defended Denmark and ran the pictures in their publications. A French editor was even fired for publishing these cartoons. And while the European media have stood up to this Muslim aggression (you don’t hear that every day), the U.S. State Department is siding with those who would consider us infidels. So let me get this straight. We fund “artists” to submerge the image of Christ in a jar of pee, but we align ourselves with those who think these are offensive? Nice.
Also, why is the North American media shying away from showing us these pictures? "I don't see it as a necessity to run them," said the editorial page editor at the San Francisco Chronicle. I wonder if these people in Medium-Large Media thought the same way about, oh, Abu Ghraib?
• Just after he was sworn in to rape, pillage and plunder anything that is not connected to Halliburton, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has sided with the commie libs on the High Court and said that the state of Missouri can’t just yet go and execute some guy for raping and killing a 15-year old girl. Why did he rule this way? My guess is because the crime only took place in 1989, which is far too soon to kill a convicted murderer/rapist; the condemned has at least 15 more years to suck up public funds in his quest to have what he refused his victims -- life. I’m sure there’s a valid reason why Alito went in the direction he did, but I’m too indifferent and lazy to try and find out.
• Some kids in Florida have refused to sell junk food for fundraising purposes in hopes of collecting enough money for a school trip to Williamsburg, Va., and Washington, D.C. Well, if they don’t want to peddle these wares and can’t come up with another way of getting the money, then they better not whine about their lack of out-of-classroom activities. A teacher at this school has tried to come up with other ways for these kids to raise money; one idea was to have car washes. Too bad that a washing a car is even worse than selling junk food. Not only are you wasting a precious resource to do something that can be accomplished by Mother Nature on a rainy day, but also you are sprucing up an evil machine that pollute the environment.
• Western Union has ceased with what made them famous -- they have stopped providing telegram services. Good for them. Who sends telegrams anyway now? Instead of saying goodbye to an old fixture of previous American societies, we ought to be encouraged that Western Union has evolved with the changing marketplace and focused its talents on additional services instead of the out-dated telegram. Other businesses would be wise to follow this practice.
• So that’s why the Wendy's down the street from me shut down last month? Damnit. That was a nice store, too. Those people that organized the finger-in-the-chili hoax deserve to burn in hell for taking away my Wendy's.
• New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg “anonymously” gave $100 million to help fund a stem-cell research facility. If the donation was “anonymous,” then why am I reading about it? Well, at least he puts his money where his mouth is regarding this issue, which is odd for any politician to do. And while we’re talking about New York and fetuses, this guy got charged with abortion while beating his knocked-up girlfriend. Oddly enough, the baby survived. I’ll leave the punch line up to you.
10:45 p.m.
• The NFL announced this year's Hall of Fame class. Here are the finalists. The ones in bold were selected. Next to each one I'll give my insta-reaction as to how I would have voted for them. I will limit my selection to just five players.
Fred Dean: Who?
Richard Dent: Sure.
Russ Grimm: Tough one for me. My first thought was "not quite." Maybe if his coaching career continues to excel, then I'll say yeah.
Ray Guy: Yes. I know punters and field goal kickers are taboo in the HOF, but I'm a Ray Guy mark. Besides, he has an awesome name.
Gene Hickerson: Never heard of him.
Michael Irvin: I hated him as a player, but I like him as a commentator. I really enjoyed the banter he had with Rush during his brief ESPN stint. I may have said yes, but he wouldn't have been the first receiver I would have taken on this list.
Bob Kuechenberg: Shrug.
Bruce Matthews: Oh hell yes.
Art Monk: Yes. I don't care if he wasn't the flashiest or had the best stats. I feel bad he's not in the hall, and with other players that have bigger numbers on the way, I doubt Monk will ever get in.
Andre Reed: He'd be my second wide receiver choice, but do I have enough slots for him?
Charlie Sanders: Derp.
Paul Tagliabue: Was he a great commish? You bet. But Jesus Christ, he only retired in 2006!
Derrick Thomas: No. Great pass rusher, but I am only picking five.
Thurman Thomas: Great all-around back. I forgot he spent a year with the Dolphins.
Andre Tippett: No.
Roger Wehrli: Dunno. His bio thingy said he played cornerback from 1969-1982, so that says something.
Gary Zimmerman: I liked him as a player, but I have to say no this time around.
Who did I pick for my "Top 5"? Richard Dent, Ray Guy, Bruce Matthews, Art Monk and Thurman Thomas. Do I have any reasons for these picks? Yes. And they're selfish, stupid, biased and do not involve stats or any kind of in-depth research. Would you expect anything less?
5:15 p.m.
• Back in August I made some NFL predictions. Now let's go back and laugh. The italic lines are what I said six months ago.
AFC EAST: MY PREDICTION
New England Patriots
Miami Dolphins
New York Jets
Buffalo Bills
AFC EAST: REAL WORLD
New England Patriots
New York Jets
Buffalo Bills
Miami Dolphins
I have the Jets at number three and the Bills at number four just because.
AFC EAST: MY PREDICTION
Shittsburgh Steelers
Baltimore Ravens
Cincinnati Bengals
Cleveland Browns
AFC EAST: REAL WORLD
Baltimore Ravens
Cincinnati Bengals
Shittsburgh Steelers
Cleveland Browns
I have no clue what's going to happen here. These top three teams are interchangeable, and who knows what Cleveland is going to do this year.
AFC SOUTH: MY PREDICTION
Indianapolis Colts
Jacksonville Jaguars
Houston Texans
Tennessee Titans
AFC SOUTH: REAL WORLD
Indianapolis Colts
Tennessee Titans
Jacksonville Jaguars
Houston Texans
Indianapolis lost Edgerrin James but they're still going to be good and win this division. I think that window of opportunity for a Super Bowl win is close to being shut for them.
AFC WEST: MY PREDICTION
Denver Broncos
Kansas City Chiefs
San Diego Chargers
Oakland Raiders
AFC WEST: REAL WORLD
San Diego Chargers
Kansas City Chiefs
Denver Broncos
Oakland Raiders
San Diego is in third place because they have the most potential to sputter out of the gate and call it a season early, what with the unproven Rivers as their starting quarterback.
NFC EAST: MY PREDICTION
Washington Redskins
Dallas Cowboys
New York Giants
Philadelphia Eagles
NFC EAST: REAL WORLD
Philadelphia Eagles
Dallas Cowboys
New York Giants
Washington Redskins
Every year it seems like a running back or two just breaks down right in front of our eyes due to wear and tear or age. This year I’m guessing it will happen to Tiki Barber. I have no rhyme or reason for this guess; I just think he will.
NFC NORTH: MY PREDICTION
Chicago Bears
Minnesota Vikings
Detroit Lions
Green Bay Packers
NFC NORTH: REAL WORLD
Chicago Bears
Green Bay Packers
Minnesota Vikings
Detroit Lions
I'm guessing the Lions will come in third followed by the Packers just because. Does it really matter which team finishes 5-11 and which team finishes 4-12?
NFC SOUTH: MY PREDICTION
Carolina Panthers
Tampa Bay Buccanneeers
Atlanta Falcons
New Orleans Saints
NFC SOUTH: REAL WORLD
New Orleans Saints
Carolina Panthers
Atlanta Falcons
Tampa Bay Buccanneeers
New Orleans will get a lot of ESPN hype thanks to Mr. Bush, but they’ll still lose.
NFC WEST: MY PREDICTION
Seattle Seahawks
St. Louis Rams
Arizona Cardinals
San Francisco 49ers
NFC WEST: REAL WORLD
Seattle Seahawks
St. Louis Rams
San Francisco 49ers
Arizona Cardinals
The 49ers will be better, but that’s just because they can’t get much worse.
FINAL TALLY:
If I got one point for every placement prediction I got right, my score would be 10 out of 32 for a .312 winning percentage, which is still as good or a better record than the Browns, Raiders, Redskins, Lions, Bucs and Cards.
3:15 p.m.
• Here is why you shouldn’t stay at the same job for too long, especially if you are working in an entry-level go-nowhere situation. I just heard that the theater I used to work at closed down a few weeks ago. Had I kept my customer-service job there (and why in the hell would I?), I’d be jobless. However, this bit of news is only one additional job I used to work that has since bit the dust. After working there I graduated from college and went to Sappy Valley, where I worked as a part-time copyeditor and cashier. Both of these positions have since been eliminated. In addition, the place I worked at in Ohio, from what I’ve been hearing, is really close to being shut down. And now the place where I work? Oh, man. I don't even know where to begin. There was also another store that I worked at from 1994-1996 that has long ceased operations. I will not count another store I worked at for a few weeks in December of 1998 because they were going out of business before I was even hired; I was on board for a few weeks because a number of workers quit after it was announced they would soon be jobless. Now one could deduct from this that I’m a cancer any place I work, but I like to think of this more like how a business can’t recover from my departure and all the productivity I brought. Yeah, that’s it.
In today’s editorial titled: "Drop Dasschole: The health nominee is not up to Osama's standard," your editorial board starts out with the following:
Now after a few paragraphs of “blahblahblah” I notice this passage:
Now let’s look at today’s editorial headline one more time.
Drop Dasschole: The health nominee is not up to Osama's standard
I’m curious to know why there isn’t any concern about Osama’s “standard." You even took the time to list the gang President Hussein thought would be ideal to tell us how to lead our lives -- Mr. Holder, Mr. Geithner and Mr. Lynn. How come no "concern" is expressed about Mr. Osama's judgment in people? Oh, yeah. I remember. Because your publication is nothing more than left-wing trash and is in financial dire straits.
At least one good thing has come out from all this. For years you liberal faggots whined about being called "unpatriotic." Well, after having the current vice president tell us that paying taxes is "the patriotic thing to do," I completely understand why President Hussein's posse don't bother to fulfill their civic duties when it comes to filling the public coffers with their hard-earned money.
5:15 p.m.
• Snow snow I hate snow. Actually, the drive wasn’t that bad home from work today. It took twice as long, but traffic was slow. Eh, whatever. At least we were moving. Funny thing was some jangala Oryctolagus cuniculus coming home from school hit our car with a snowball. It would have been funny to put it in reverse and plow into the herd, but then I’d be charged with a hate crime.
• Uh oh. Bush’s RIGHT-WING Supreme Court is making their voice heard on abortion rights. Now it’ll be easier than ever for abortion protestors to intimidate Planned Parenthood workers and knocked-up women wanting to get rid of some excess baggage. Oh, wait. The decision was 8-0? Never mind.
• If only our legal system worked as hard on other matters like eminent domain as they do trying to find ways for convicted murderers to get out of paying their debts to society our world would be a better place.
• I have to do a mea culpa of sorts. One anonymous reader responded to my suggestion a few days ago of white-collar workers documenting what they do throughout the day by saying, “Most of what these people do online all day is shop, watch porn and gamble.” I stand corrected.
• Normally I am a pretty laid-back driver, but over the last few months I have been suffering from road rage. I can’t help it. It’s not the fact some asshole cuts me off almost plows into my car. What pisses me off is their blatant disregard for almost damaging the vehicle I’m in. One thing that really pisses me off is when you’re in front of a large vehicle going up a hill. The truck has its blinkers on and is in the right-hand lane going 20 mph. That’s fine and dandy; I have no problem with this. However, when I put on my turn signal to change lanes, I almost always wait an extra second because I know that the asshole behind me is going to try and zoom around me instant I start to merge in another lane. I can’t begin to count the number of times people would have slammed into my car’s bumper had I not been the cautious one.
Oh I fucking hate those people. If I’m driving the better half’s car, a 2004 cavalier, I practice my “careful pause” before switching lanes because this vehicle is our household’s primary mode of transportation. But if I’m driving my ’88 Corsica that already has one wheel in the junkyard, I say “fuck you’ and go into the other lane regardless, making the dickhead behind me have to slam on their brakes or swerve back into the right-hand lane. Fuck you bitch. If you would have put on your goddamn turn signal when this all began, I’d have no problem; I’d even let you pass me even though I put my turn signal on first. Some people need to be taken out to a nearby field and shot.
As much as this sort of thing happens to me, I’m glad to know I’m not alone. One place I hate driving in is the grocery store parking lot. Christ, that place is a land mine with cars pulling out every which way. This is why I always park near the back of the local grocery store’s parking lot, even when it’s only half-full. And I was reminded today why I do this.
I was walking to this store and I went in front of this old guy with a huge Buick backing out. The reason I chose to walk in front of his car was because I know better than to be behind a senior citizen when they’re in reverse. Unfortunately, this yuppie mini-van didn’t know this rule, and the old guy almost plowed into this poor lady driving the vehicle. What made me laugh about the whole thing is that there was no way that mini-van was in any blind spot; she was directly behind the Buick. I guess when you reach a certain age you just don’t care about accumulating points on your driver’s license.
4:15 p.m.
• Well I just had the shortest pre-screening interview of my life.
“Do you know Photoshop?”
“Yes.
“Do you know Illustrator?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know Quark?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know how much pay this job offers?”
“Yes.”
We’ll be holding interviews shortly.”
“Uh, OK.’
I knew I should have said “No” for that third question. Damnit.
• Do it, for the CHILDREN! I remember back in the mid-90s when Republicans acted like they cared about limited government, liberals threw a shitfit because a reduction in increased spending on ANY government program would hurt, even kill, “the children.” I love it when “the children” card is played.
How about we just call “outer space” any place outside of the United States?
• I thought you put your kid in private school to get away from this kind of hippie shit. At least I now know where Smitty teaches.
• Yeah, let’s wait a year and see how these two act next to each other.
8:15 p.m.
• Wow. This dreadful economy has hit EVERYONE.
• Yesterday I was watching PTI and they had this bit about Greg Oden being a Barack Osama fan and Wilbon practically had an orgasm over the whole thing. Good God. So the guy likes a politician who spoke with him. Big deal. However, Wilbon then said that it was soooooo great to see and hear an athlete talk about politics/race/etc. Here’s what Oden wrote.
OK, so…
…was a funny line. But back to Wilbon. I wouldn’t be comparing Oden with Jim Brown just yet. In fact, the discussion turned for a bit to athletes like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods that didn’t take the time to turn their spotlight in the public eye to talk about issues. Hell, one of the reasons I like Woods is that he just show up, does his thing and wins. In fact, the only person that doesn’t seem to make a big deal about Tiger’s skin color is Tiger himself. And while I wouldn’t consider Jordan outspoken when it comes to politics, he did campaign for Bill Bradley in the 2000 Democrat primary. (I’m also fairly certain he didn’t attend a White House ceremony with Bush I after the Bulls won a title, but I could be wrong on this one.)
8:45 p.m.
• Hmmm, I don’t recall these signs anywhere near me.
Of course, my first thought upon reading the above article was this post made back in ’06. Time for a trip to the ar-kkk-ives.
Even in this HUSSEIN RECESSION, it's still possible to find work. Mrs. kkk finally did. We got the message on the answering machine Friday afternoon. Back to the university, back to her previous salary, back to the benefits package, back to ... driving through Wilkensburg (aka the ghetto) to get to and from our little corner of suburban paradise. Oh well, nothing's perfect. Truth be told, driving through this shit hole twice every weekday really motivates you to work hard and justify your job. If you don't, you could be among the trash in these near-shantytowns. The offer is going to made sometime next week by the useless University Human Resources department, and in about a week or two after that the better half will be riding shotgun yet again in my morning/afternoon commute. Thankfully, we have been treading water the last several months, but after a while not seeing your bank account increase at all it gets a bit old. In fact, our savings account remains untouched, and I only need to put in about $1,500 into the checking account in order to get it back up to the $5,000 mark, which is the minimum we keep in that account; anything more than that goes to paying off debt/investing/etc. Actually, this $1500 "hole" isn't so bad, considering we had to replace our furnace this winter, which took a healthy bite out of the checking account. However, when you PREPARE and SAVE MONEY FOR THESE KINDS OF THINGS, something like a new furnace is only a temporary dip in an already established account instead of being harbinger of DISASTER YET TO COME for a WORKING FAMILY. Maybe I shouldn't have paid my mortgage and asked ACORN to squat on the property whenever the foreclosure man comes a knocking.
• So this morning I was listening to some RIGHT-WING RADIO and the guy was talking about some hippie enviro-weenine story – I think it was an op-ed from the Rocky Mountain News. Anyway, the writer referred to the EricMM’s of the world as an enviro-melon: Green on the outside, Red on the inside. I don’t know how long that joke has been in existence but goddamn that was funny.
• Well shit, now I can sleep more soundly at night knowing this:
I’m sure there’s a joke to be made about a former poster, but I’ll leave that up to the people here who hate freedom and liberty.
• You know, for as much as I hate the health nazis, I have to side with them on this point.
I’m all about providing as much information as possible when it comes to nutritional information. Of course, the next step these fast-food fascists want is to outright ban value meals and stuff, but that’s another topic for another day.
• Damn, I knew government was slow and all, but W. is now just getting around to talking with last year’s NBA champs? Oh, and Wade should have the season-ending surgery. You have nothing to prove; rehab your shoulder from that freak injury and don’t possibly piss away the rest of your career.
5:30 p.m.
• Oh, this is brilliant.
If anything these taxes will just be passed on to us, and one big reason prices are "high" is because the rest of the world is catching up with us, such as China and India. Here's a thought: If the demand is much higher, then we should increase the supply. Don't want to drill in America? Well then you must pay higher prices. If you want to tax Big Oil just to suck more money out of them, that's fine -- just be honest about it. And what the hell has that got to do with helping the little guy when it will only make matters worse?
• Yeah, boo-hoo and all that.
Now here's the part where I wish the snake would have eaten one of the parents instead.
Then again, when Max had problems peeing, we didn't notice it until it was almost too late. Then again, there wasn't a predator in his litter box.
