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New location, same lame blog

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

One more confirmed Romo-sexual

The Cowboys looked damn good in crushing the Bears last night. Tony Romo looked like a top 3 quarterback once again in shredding the vaunted Chicago defense. With his performance last night, I have to finally admit that my crush on Romo and his awesome playmaking ability has turned into full blown man love. Romo can flat out play and anyone who was convinced that the botched snap in Seattle last year would ruin him has been proven wrong. Watch him any time he makes a mistake--he just shakes it off and goes out and does something to make up for it.   A few Cowboy thoughts:   - The defense is still shaky without Terence Newman fully healthy, but at least they finally had something resembling a pass rush last night. Maybe they're coming around.   - Patrick Crayton shouldn't be playing if his broken finger is going to prevent him from catching easy touchdowns, but with Sam Hurd showing some skill, his absence might not be as noticeable.   - Marion Barber is a beast. If only he had a little more speed.   - Ken Hamlin is a big upgrade over Keith Davis.   - The Leonard Davis signing isn't the "worst move of the offseason" as some pundits were saying. Yeah, he's overpaid but he's so much better than Marco Rivera's corpse was that it's worth the $$$.   - I still don't like T.O. and all the baggage he brings to a team, but at least he's catching the ball and making plays this year.   - Jason Witten is no longer the best kept secret in the NFL. Jeremy Shockey and Antonio Gates are good, but they ain't Jason Whitten.   - Terry Glenn isn't even playing yet. Once he gets back, look out.   - There's a decent chance the Cowboys and Patriots will be 5-0 when they meet Oct. 14 in Dallas. In the four years we've had Cowboys season tickets, I don't think I've ever been more excited about attending a particular game.   One thing: if my 23 years of experience rooting for the Cubs have taught me nothing else, I have learnved to never get too excited until the season plays itself out. But if you wanted me to make an argument that the Cowboys are not the class of the NFC at this point in time, I'd have a hard time doing so.     One note on the referees, Ron White and his crew from last night should be, if not outright fired, suspended for a couple of weeks. At the very least they should not collect their paychecks for this week. What a horribly officiated game. For all the blustering and cracking down that Roger Goodell is doing on everything else around the league, why are the referees allowed to continue to be this shitty without some real measure of discipline? Get on it, Commish.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

OMG INTERNET DRAWMUH~!, fake rock climbing

WOW. And here I thought the hottest feud on the Internet was kkk v. niskie...   Link     ---------------------------------   My wife and I both had the day off yesterday so we went "rock climbing" at this place as the final piece of her birthday celebration (don't ask). She's climbed before, as there was a climbing wall at the YMCA camp she used to work at. Yesterday was the first time up such a wall for me though. It was fun, but I'm not sure I understand why anyone would partake in an activity where your main objective is to not die.   The good news is that I didn't fall and break my neck like I thought I might. In fact, other than getting "stuck" on the wall a couple of times (i.e. not being able to reach the next foot/hand grip) and having to come down and start over, my experience wasn't too humiliating.   Well, unless you count the time we had to yell for help because my shirt had come untucked from my harness just enough that it got itself wedged into the belaying device, rendering me unable to feed the rope back through (and leaving my wife dangling 50 feet in the air) or the time when the 9-year-old girl who was climbing next to me reached the top of the wall in about half the time it took me to do so as humiliating. If you count that as having a bad day, then I had a bad day.   ---------------------------------   12 pages (out of 20) of that damned wedding album have been put together. There is hope yet...
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Office stuff

- Surprise, surprise. Barely one month after announcing that they were moving up our annual salary adjustment to January 1 (instead of the usual April 1), our managment has issued an e-mail stating that it has now been delayed "until after the first quarter of 2009" due to the DAMN BUSH ECONOMY.   Sigh.   And they honestly wonder why we're so cynical around here.   ------------------------   - Also in that e-mail was the announcement that they are delaying the construction of our new west Houston campus. This news was devastating to sfaJill as her company suddenly moved their offices to the southwest side of town last year. Since we live in the northeast side, she and I have decided that we will be moving closer to that area if/when construction of our new campus gets underway or we are able to get a decent price for the house. But, for now, she will continue making the 80-mile (roundtrip) commute that she hates.   Somewhere, I'm sure EricMM is weeping...   ------------------------   - The official company holiday party is December 5. I RSVP'd that we will not be attending, without even telling sfaJill that this party exists. sfaJill, however, has RSVP'd that we WILL be attending her company's party on the 13th.   ------------------------   - The official Thanksgiving meal for our floor is next Wednesday. Normally, this would involve them collecting $5-10 from each of us to pay for the catered main dish and people would bring a pot luck side dish/dessert if they chose. Well, this year, according to the email: "As this is a busy time of year with both work and home life we will not be taking up any money for a collection for this luncheon."   DAMN BUSH ECONOMY! Has it gotten so bad that people can't even spare $5 for cold, overcooked Thanksgiving turkey??? Dear God Osama, help us! We need you NOW!!!!   I declined this party as well, for the record. There's no way I'm spending any time making a dish to bring and that apparently is the price of admission.   ------------------------   - I'm so glad I'm not a Houston Texans fan. I don't know if it's poor coaching or that their (apparent) talent isn't that talented or some wicked combination of both, but they might be worse than the Oilers ever were.
sfaJack

sfaJack

6
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Obligatory pet post

Weird. I wrote this post at least a month ago, but apparently forgot to actually publish it.   -----------------------------------   Posting about pets is the latest craze to sweep the TSM blogosphere so I thought I'd blatantly steal the idea and post about our pets.       Sassy   I'm not really a cat person. I don't mind them, but, if given a choice, I would opt for a dog. That said, this is Sassy. Sassy is about 8 years old. sfaJill got her after seeing a posting on a campus bulletin board back in 2000, which means she's had Sassy about a year longer than she's had me.   Sassy is a very 'talkative' cat and used to be pretty tolerant of other kitties/animals--until she became an 'only cat' after sfaJill and her sister stopped living together a few years back. I know this because when we were keeping her sister's cat a year and a half ago during their move, Sassy would spend all of her time keeping Cocoa (who isn't very well adjusted and thus terrified of just about everything) "trapped" in a particular corner of the kitchen. It was so bad that we ended up having to put another litter box in that corner because Cocoa--too afraid to leave the safety of her corner perch and risk getting attacked by Sassy--would just do her business on the kitchen floor. Stupid cat.   Where was I? Oh yeah...   Sassy's had a pretty charmed life: all the food she could want, constant attention from sfaJill, sleeping on the bed with us, etc. She's even managed to make some strides in getting my general household rule of "no animals on the furniture"--a rule that held firm for about 5 days after sfaJill moved in back in December 2006--relaxed by constantly testing my patience with it to the point where it's not worth the effort to fight it anymore.   Sassy probably felt like she was the queen of the world. So imagine her dismay this past New Year's Eve when we brought home...       Wrigley   Yes, he is named after Wrigley Field. We got Wrigley when he was 8 weeks old from sfaJill's aunt, who breeds Huskies, Akitas, and Bernese Mountain Dogs. Wrigley was free to us because he supposedly has some joint defect in his leg and was thus unable to be sold (note: thus far, there is no sign of that defect). sfaJill, who has never had a dog before Wrigley, had been pushing to get a dog for a while (supposedly because I 'needed' a dog); I was against the idea because, as someone who's had dogs most of my life, I know how much work it can be to take care of one--especially a puppy--and our lifestyle (gone 12-13 hours a day for work) might not be a great fit for a dog. Certainly not one that requires a lot of attention like huskies do anyway.   But because she was so insistent and I would have had to put up with an unprecedented level of whining if we passed on a 'free' dog, I went against my better judgment and agreed to get the dog. The results? Mixed, at best.   Good: - He is fun to play with.   - He is always thrilled to see anybody and is usually happy to just be in the same room with you.   - Gives me an excuse to go to the dog park and semi-flirt with the MILFs that bring their dogs there. (I'm kidding. Sort of. I just like looking at the MILFs.)   Bad: - The dog has seperation issues. We actually had to start leaving him outside during the day because he was either destroying the kitchen or climbing over the gate into the living room and destroying stuff there, in addition to pissing and shitting on the carpet. He's been better since he's been staying outside, but still...way too anxious about being by himself.   - Nothing in life is free. What I mean is that, within three months of our getting him, he had to go in for surgery because he ate a piece of bark mulch out of the flower bed and it got lodged in his intestine, making him unable to digest anything and/or poop. Total cost? $2600. At least we were able to get him neutered at the same time.   Since then, the 'tab' has kept on growing. For instance, just yesterday, sfaJill told me that after I had left work and while she was in the shower, he ate $4 worth of winning scratch-off lottery tickets.   - He has dug a few holes in the back yard and absolutely destroyed the back door with his constant jumping and scratching at it. This has not made me very happy, for obvious reasons.   - There are other things to list here, but I doubt anyone gives a shit and I'm going to have to get back to work here. Suffice it to say, I'm not totally impressed with the dog.
sfaJack

sfaJack

4
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Notes From Office 224?

I don't normally blog too much about office happenings because that can be dangerous in these days of employers using the interwebs to keep track of their employees when they’re not being unproductive at the office.   However, this is a big day, for today's post is the first from my new digs as I have moved out of my cubicle home(s) of 7+ years and into a real office with four walls, a couple windows, and...a locking door!   Does this mean that I have crawled through the river of shit that is the DAMN HUSSEIN ECONOMY and come out smelling of roses with a promotion that comes with bigger pay, a fancy title, and the tiniest shred of power via a single thin line on some company organizational chart?   Uh, not exactly.   So what happened? Get comfortable; this could be a long entry if I put in all the details. The events are real, the names may or may not be changed.   A brief bit of background to our story: I spent the first six years of my time here working in the general accounting department, mostly doing account reconciliation and audit response. In 2005, my manager was forced to take this one lady, Doe, into our group because Doe’s previous position in the payroll department was eliminated and she needed to find a new home. Why wasn’t she ‘let go’ like most other people whose jobs are eliminated? Because Doe’s mother is a senior accounting manager here. Eh, whatever. I know that’s the way things go sometimes. I accept this…in most cases.   The problem here? Doe is a completely worthless employee.   Arrive late most days? Check. Leave early often? Check. Unexplained absences? Check. Loud socializing/phone calls in the office? Check. Poor attitude about work? Check. Subpar work? Check. Doesn’t know shit about accounting? Check. Overly inflated sense of self-worth/importance? CHECK CHECK CHECK. Bringing personal drama into the office? BIG GIANT FUCKING CHECK.   Within two months of starting work in our group, we all despised her because the rest of us—the ones that actually showed up to do our jobs each day—were constantly having to put up with her enormous amount of drama and bullshit AND cover her substandard work. This was made even worse for me early in ’06 when I was put in charge of reviewing/approving her work each month but was not given any supervisor/managerial authority to deal with her.   My manager, Sandy, responded to Doe’s poor work by refusing to give her any promotion or any raise beyond the company mandated ‘minimum living adjustment’ (usually 1-2%), which you get only unless you’re about to be fired or something. Things continued this way until the end of ’07 when management did a little shuffling of the deck chairs, resulting in Sandy going to manage another finance group and me getting shifted over to the project accounting group.   I was free! I still had to see her every day (the ones she’s actually here anyway), overhear her inane conversations, and deal with the constant noise—but at least her poor work no longer directly affected my ability to do my job. I even got to move to a different cubicle around the corner from where her and her pals all gathered for their daily social club meetings, eliminating some of the distraction. It was almost as good an office situation as one could hope for…   …and then Michaela, who did the tax work for the general accounting group—and whose office was directly across the hall from my new cube—recently left to go work for the corporate tax group. Who was anointed to take over her work? You guessed it!   So Doe started sitting across the hall from me on the days she was doing the tax work. She asked John, the new boss of the general group—apparently a competent accountant but completely inexperienced in dealing with Doe—if she could move into the office full time and was told ‘no’ because she is classified as an associate accountant—the lowest accounting rank we have—and that it was not necessary for her to sit there all the time. Doe was PISSED because she isn’t used to not getting her way.   So she rebelled by sitting in there a couple of extra days. And then a couple more. And then, before John knew (although those of us who know her know what she was doing), she had established a nice squatter’s existence in the office.   The problem? The noise was even worse than before because now she was armed with a speakerphone…which she used—at max volume—for every single goddamn call she placed or received. And I mean EVERY DAMN CALL.   This prompted myself and the two other old school guys—who are also not in John’s group—that sat in the same hallway as Doe to complain to John about the noise. We strategically spaced out our complaints over the course of two weeks so it didn’t look like we were all dumping on her at once. I was the last one to complain and was told by John that he had asked her to move back to her assigned space but that she had refused to do it but that he was going to act soon.   So here’s a quick multiple choice of John’s possible actions regarding this situation:   A) Reprimand her via formal written notice to HR   B) Choice ‘A’, along with getting our real estate services department to clean the stuff she had moved into the office out, return it to her assigned cube, lock the office, and leave instructions for security that that office was not to be unlocked without their consent   C) Fire her for insubordination and terrible job performance—my personal preference   D) Burn the whole building down so there’s no more noise for anyone   E) Allow Doe to keep the office, shuffle a couple of your own general accounting people around, and offer the complaining employees—who are all members of the project accounting group—the chance to move into the resulting empty offices on the next hall…where the rest of your general accounting group sits.     If you said, ‘E’, you are correct. Unfortunately, there is no prize.   So here I sit, out of cubicle hell in office #224. It’s great because I don’t have to see or hear Doe if I don’t want to but, more importantly, it’s a quiet, professional atmosphere.   At least I can read TSM in peace now. I just hope that no one can hear me continually laughing at the sheer absurdity of moving 6 different people around—and having THREE people who have nothing to do with your group sit with your group—just so you don’t have to deal with one headcase. God bless middle managers.
sfaJack

sfaJack

9
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

No pizza on Sweetest Day

So sfaJill and I were in Target last night walking up towards the registers when I noticed a display of 'funny' Halloween cards featuring our Presidential candidates. There was one with the Obamessiah on it that read something to the effect of "this man might be our next President--and you thought Halloween was scary" (cue laugh track).   I briefly thought about buying it and sending it to my dad, but decided against it because he'd probably 1) think I've turned gay because I sent him a card in the mail and/or 2) lecture me about "wasting 43 cents to tell me something I already know."   Then I noticed a display for greeting cards for "Happy Sweetest Day!" This conversation occurred. Guess who is who:   "What the fuck is 'Sweetest Day?'"   "I don't know. What are you talking about?"   *picks up a 'Sweetest Day' card* "This. What is this for?"   *looks at card and then display* "I guess it's kind of another Valentine's Day!"   "Great! Another day to waste $80 on flowers that will be dead in 72 hours!"     After some checking of the world's leading information source, it appears Sweetest Day is some midwest Yankee tradition that started innocently enough but has since evolved into another Hallmark holiday that's now starting to spread overpriced candy and unfunny cards to our neck of the woods down here. When will this crap ever stop?   Though I must admit I'm shocked that it took this long for it to reach Texas. I guess George W. must have spent some of his time laying off some people in the Hallmark marketing department and they're just now catching up on the workload.   I told sfaJill not to expect anything for Sweetest Day. She seemed fine with that.   ----------------------------------------------   The party's over for kids who pass Texas's high school standardized test.   I remember taking this test, then called 'TAAS', in 10th grade. I also remember all of us getting to go to Pizza Hut to celebrate passing this very basic test of academic skill (you know it's basic skill level when my dumb ass misses only 4 of the multiple choice answers ON THE ENTIRE TEST). I do not remember not seeing the kids who failed the test not being at this wonderful celebration but I didn't think anything of it. Of course, it was nearly 15 years ago now.   This is my favorite part of the article though:   Note to Robert Scott: it is also pretty easy to identify which students failed this test when, on state-mandated "Re-test Day", they are 'absent' from class because they are in the library retaking said test. No, that's not obvious at all. Nope. No way.   So if I decide to NOT meet the basic requirements of my job, my boss should not give raises to everyone else so that I don't feel too bad about myself?
sfaJack

sfaJack

4
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Nasty FEMA trailers

So Phase II of George W.'s plan to kill all the black people in New Orleans has kicked in.   Link     I love this line:     Well, no shit. They're temporary trailers for a reason. The question of why these people are still living in these temporary trailers when they've had almost two and a half years to find a more permanent residence is one I'd love to have answered. I'm afraid to ask it though because doing so would probably only get me called a racist.   ----------------------   It's Valentine's Flower and Greeting Card Day! I ordered a dozen roses for sfaJill (but no card--gotta draw the line somewhere) because I'm an idiot who enjoys spending $80 on flowers that will be dead by Sunday. She tried to trick me by saying the other day that it would be OK if I didn't get her anything. Yeah, right. I might be a naive new husband who hasn't caught on to all the tricks of married life...but I know better than that!   Bitch better put out tonight though.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

My wife...

...might be the worst driver on this planet.   At the very least, she jumped way up in both polls last night.   Maybe it was just aggression from the bad day she had. Maybe she really just didn't see that one stop sign that was kind of hidden by an overhanging branch. Maybe the one guy that pulled out in front of her is just a dumbass. And maybe I should just count my blessings because there was no accident and nobody got hurt.   But still, I think I'd have been less horrified if we'd just wiped out a truck full of puppies and gone back home.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

MLB Playoff Predictions

What a game last night between the Rockies and Padres to decide the NL wild card. I missed the ending because my need to get some sleep before work today forced me to go to bed...after the 12th inning (of course!). Another 15 minutes or so and I would have seen one hell of an ending.   Nevertheless, here are my official, non-scientific, mostly off-the-top-of-my-head picks for the MLB playoffs. I normally don't do these but since the Cubbies are in this year, I figure what the hell. Feel free to mock when I'm wrong about every single series:   NATIONAL LEAGUE:   NLDS: Chicago Cubs v. Arizona Diamondbacks The Cubs have the NL's best record since June and possibly the strongest rotation of any NL playoff team. Arizona's success this year is a mystery; 14th in the league in runs scored and a -20 run differential for the year really shouldn't translate to 90 wins, but here they are. The Dbacks bullpen is solid, partly evidenced by their exceptional record in 1-run games. The Dbacks also won the season series 4-2. What does all of that mean? I don't know. You could dig up all the stats in the world to show why Arizona is better than the Cubs and it wouldn't stop me from picking the CUBS in 4.   NLDS: Colorado Rockies v. Philadelphia Phillies The Rockies' rotation and bullpen is better than most people think and they're carrying a ton of momentum into the playoffs, having finished the season on a 14-1 roll. The Phillies squeaked past the Mets to get in (yeah!) and also bring a lot of momentum into the playoffs, finishing on a 16-7 roll themselves. Does season-ending momentum matter in the playoffs? Not really (see: Tigers v. Cardinals, 2006 World Series). What matters here is that these two teams led the National League in runs scored for the season and are capable of putting double-digits on the board at any time. However, given that the Rockies' bullpen does not completely suck, I'm going to pick the ROCKIES in 5.   NLCS: Colorado Rockies v. Chicago Cubs CUBS in 6     AMERICAN LEAGUE:   ALDS: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v. Boston Red Sox The Angels posted the best home record in all of baseball. Unfortunately, they don't have home field in this series, so who cares? Angels were 4th in the league in runs scored (822), just behind Boston (867). Angels finished 5th in the league in team ERA; Boston was 1st. The Angels have Vlad Guerrero and Garrett Anderson; Boston trumps them with Manny Ramirez/David Ortiz. Mike Scioscia's a better manager than Terry Francona but the Angels' lack of a high-priced, Japanese hired gun hurts them. But at least they have the "good" Weaver brother. On a bright note, the Angels did average nearly 5,000 more asses in the seats per game this season--that has to count for something other than extra bucks in the owner's pockets, right? Wrong. The Rally Monkey's gonna have to work some overtime. RED SOX in 5.   ALDS: New York Yankees v. Cleveland Indians Too bad the Indians blew their chance at having the AL's best record; the chance to possibly start C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona twice each in this series would really help them knock the EVIL~! Yankees out of this race and spare us all the horror of watching yet another Yankees/Red Sox ALCS. Instead, we'll have to hope that the Tribe can hold down the Yankees' vaunted offense long enough to take advantage of NY's mediocre pitching, featuring a washed-up Roger Clemens in Game 3, and win a few games. Cleveland's 0-6 mark against the Yankees this year would suggest that might be asking a bit much, but I'll pick them anyway because I'm sick of the Yankees and want them out of the way as soon as possible. INDIANS in 5.   ALCS: Cleveland Indians v. Boston Red Sox INDIANS in 7     WORLD SERIES: Chicago Cubs v. Cleveland Indians Nothing against the Indians, but I pick the Cubs to win the Series every year. Chicago Cubs in 5.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

May 20

Who didn't see this ruling coming?     ----------------------   Then there's this couple that got themselves banned from cruising for the rest of their lives.     I know that there are times when you just have a bad experience with the service industry. It happens, and sometimes it's not even the fault of your waiter (or whomever did you wrong).   But if you've taken six cruises (all with the same company), filed numerous complaints during five of them (yet continue to sail with the same company), been compensated for your "inconvenience" (by that same company), and STILL complain about what a horrible experience you've had (with the same company), I don't blame them at all for banning you. Find another cruise line or STFU already...   ----------------------   Back later with more...
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Mailbag...?

As one of the most anonymous posters at TSM with what is probably one of the least-read blogs, I'm sure this idea is doomed to failure. But I'm bored today so what the hell; I'll give it a shot anyway.   Ask me anything, whether it's about me personally, something you'd like to get my opinon on, or something really difficult that I'm sure to get wrong and end up looking stupid. Maybe you want to know my favorite color, how I met sfaJill, or why I've lived in or near Houston my entire life yet hate the Astros. Do I have a favorite actor? Movie? Do I like country music? Maybe you need my advice on something (though God help you if you follow it). You could even ask for my detailed thoughts on nuclear disarmament (note: I don't really have any detailed thoughts on this) or suggest topics you actually might want to read about on this blog. Whatever. Unlike an Obama press conference, this floor is open to tough questions and I will not screen any of them.   Submit them in the comments here or via PM if you want to be all secretive. I'll take questions through this Sunday night and post an entry with the answer(s) next Monday. If this actually works, maybe I'll do it again every so often. If I don't get any questions, well, fuck everybody.
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Mailbag Answers

I got TWO questions for the mailbag. Suck it, kkk. Here are the answers…     So why do you hate The Astros despite living in or near Houston your whole life?   It’s simple: I’ve been a Cubs fan for about 25 years and the Cubs and Astros have been division rivals for 15 of those years. And since I have to hear the daily Astros’ propaganda living here, well, it makes me root against them.   I should say that ‘hate’ is a probably strong word for it these days since I no longer have the energy—or time, thanks to the wife—to spend watching the majority of their games (MLB Extra Innings is useful here, too). Plus the Cubs are just better than the Astros these days so my days of jealously looking at the standings are—at least for now—over.   And I do love a couple of the Astros players. Berkman is a terrific, funny guy; one of my favorite guys in sports. And I would LOVE Roy O to get fed up enough with the Astros that, when his contract is up, he decides to pitch at Wrigley for a couple of years. (Of course, the Cubs being the Cubs, he’d probably blow his arm out during pregame warm-ups before his debut and disappear in disgrace like Mark Prior.)   But a hack like Brandon Backe being kept around and getting constant adoration because he’s a ‘hometown kid’ despite having never been a good pitcher (or even showing signs of it)? Get the fuck out of here.     Also, what do you think of their chances in The N.L. Central this year?   I break it down like this:   1. The Astros are definitely worse than the Cubs, which means they’re probably fighting for the wild card at best. I don’t see anything but a number of devastating injuries derailing the Cubs in their quest for a third straight N.L. Central title.   2. I don’t see how anyone can say the Astros are clearly better than either the Brewers or Cardinals.   3. Recent history says that they’re probably better than the Reds, but Cincy’s lineup is fairly solid and you never know what a couple of young, developing guys like Cueto and Volquez will do. If Arroyo continues his good work and Harang bounces back, watch out. The Reds could finish third, which means they’re probably ahead of the Astros, too. (Dusty manages this bunch though so a 66-win, 6th place finish is also possible,)   4. They’re definitely better than the Pirates so they will be no worse than fifth!   The fans here point to the Astros second-half charge to 86 wins last year as proof that this team is on the cusp, but the reality of it is despite that, they still finished 3.5 games behind TWO teams for the wild card. So they really didn’t come that close to making the playoffs.   They are some other problems:   - Oldest team in the National League, and they got a little older with the signing of Pudge   - Berkman/Lee is about as solid a 3/4 combination as you can get. But Tejada’s washed up, Pudge is 37 and wasn’t very good last year, third base is either Geoff Blum or rookie Chris Johnson, Kaz Matsui is hurt all the time, and Michael Bourn is a disaster in center. Pence is talented, but he must return to his rookie form if they’re going to have a chance and there is no guarantee that he will.   - They subtracted Randy Wolf and added Mike Hampton and Russ Ortiz, neither of whom has been effective in several years. Oswalt is scary good of course, but when you have Hampton, Ortiz, Wandy Rodriguez, and Brian f’n Moehler behind him, well, that’s not so good.   - LaTroy Hawkins is a key cog in their bullpen. LATROY HAWKINS.   - There is almost no help in the minor leagues and Drayton McLane claims the payroll is now maxed out so any injuries could really kill their season early because they probably won’t have any options to replace the injured players.   - The second half schedule isn’t conducive to a late run this year. One of the newspaper guys did a breakdown of it a couple of weeks back and concluded that it’s the toughest post-ASB schedule in the NL.   Add all of that up and it smells of 76-78 wins and a third or fourth place finish to me.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Lightning Crashes and the Hurricane Dean watch is on

So, uh, yesterday the rain from tropical depression Erin hit much of south and central Texas with lots of rain, including us good folks here in Houston. Dozens of surface roads, underpasses, and even one of the freeways (Hwy 288) were closed due to high water all around. A couple hundred idiots who should know by now not to drive through the water when you can't see the road beneath were forced to abandon their cars. Poor people all around town ended up at the shelters and ended up on the news crying for help because they got a little bit of water in their yards. One homeless lady stuck under a bridge did have to be rescued though. That's not good.   But forget all that flooding and shit. The highlight of the day for me, easily, was around 11:30 yesterday morning. That's when we heard a somewhat loud boom outside the building here and then...THE LIGHTS WENT OUT. All around the office, printers stopped spitting out paper, desk radios that had been turned up to unreasonable volumes were silent, and computer screens went blank, depriving dozens of workers of the porn they were looking at. A lightning strike had hit a transformer in the area and blown the power to the whole area. It was pandemonium.   Or not. Actually, other than a few "Oh my Gods!" from a few of the more exciteable folks around here, it was pretty calm. Most of the people here spent the next 2 hours gathered out by the elevators, bonding over awkward conversation and a round of singing by a few of our more shameless co-workers under the soft glow of emergency lighting. Me? I stretched out in the two chairs in my cube and took a nap. Why go out there and hang with them when I can catch a few winks?   After a couple of hours of having us just sit around in the dark with nothing to do, management sent us home for the day since they were told we'd have no power for "several more hours" by the light company. I'm sure the lost productivity killed them, but what choice did they have?   So I braved the rain and made it home in time to squeeze in a couple games of Madden 08 before the wife arrived home and killed the fun. Oh well. It was a good day while it lasted.   The bad news is that the real fun has just begun. Hurricane Dean is projected to enter the Gulf of Mexico early next week and make landfall anywhere from the Yucatan Peninsula to Houston. Of course, despite there being several hundred miles between those two points, the news crews have already started "gather up all your valuable shit, go into the closet nearest the center of your house, and duck and cover your head because Dean is going to be our armageddon" mode. Sigh. We'll see what actually happens. I'm not worried; George Bush has his ranch here so he wouldn't let us get destroyed, would he?
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Liberal college bias, furniture shopping, and sfaJill gets embarrassed

For anyone who thinks that college professors are not liberally biased, I present this evidence to the contrary:     Am I surprised? No. Do I really care about this? No. There is liberal bias in the press every day; what does it matter if there are liberal professors in college classrooms, right?   Speaking from personal experience though, I graduated from a Texas college and I don't recall a great deal of liberal bias in any of my classes. Then again, I was an accounting major and wasn't required to take very many courses that could be politcally slanted. Although the prof of my graduate-level international management course had a crazy, almost personal obsession with Augusto Pinochet.   The most political prof I ever ran across was in, strangely enough, political science. That guy made it clear from day one that he was liberal and never made any bones about touting such views. You'd think that could make lots of folks unhappy, but, surprisingly, the women in the class were the ones most appalled by him. The most entertaining day of the entire semester was when he pissed them all off by saying that women should lose their right to vote because we elected great guys like Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln before they could vote and guys like Nixon, Reagan, and Bush 41 since they got the right to vote. Highest of high comedy that day...   ----------------------------   So where has "Notes From Cubicle 211-A" been the past two and a half months? Busy. Thanks to our company reorg, I've been reassigned to our Project Accounting division and my new duties have left me with precious little time for TSM, the no-longer-green board (WTF happened there??), and porno. It's a real bummer. Hopefully though, all this real world shit has finally eased up and I can get back to my normal daily routine of pretending to work.   Ah, wedded bliss:   We did some furniture shopping over the weekend. sfaJill's been having some trouble sleeping and has decided that it's my fault because my tendency to toss and turn several times during the night disrupts her. And of course, to her, the obvious, not-expensive-at-all solution is to buy a new, king sized bed. After most of Saturday shopping, we found exactly one that we she liked. The price for the just the king bed though is $2,200 so it's back to the drawing board.     Also while we were out, we stopped into JC Penney so I could pick up some new slacks for the office. While sfaJill was waiting outside the dressing room for me, this little boy (who couldn't have been more than 2) who was waiting nearby with his mother, started talking to her. sfaJill loves kids so of course she was eating this up. So when I come out to model the new slacks for sfaJill, the little boy moves behind me and is now standing between me and the dressing room door. I turn to walk back in, and this exchange happens:   Boy's Mom: "Jared, please come here and get out of his way."   Me: "Oh, he's fine. I've got a dog at home that is always in the way, too."   I didn't think much of it. In the truck a bit later though, sfaJill, who had been sitting in silence most of the way, suddenly said, "You know, you really embarrassed me back there."   "What are you talking about?"   "With that little boy. You compared him to a dog right in front of his mom."   "What? You're embarrased by THAT? It was a harmless comment."   "You called him a dog in front of his mom. I don't think she liked that."   "Did she say anything about it?"   "No."   "Then how do you know it offended her?"   "Well, it embarrassed ME, so I would think it bothered her, too."   "Oh. Um...I'm sorry? I guess my 'filter' broke again."   "You should really get that thing fixed or replaced or something."   I thought about sarcastically asking her to put it on the honey-do list, but decided it was best not to risk pissing her off and ruining the rest of the furniture shopping fun.
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Let's retire retiring numbers

So around 11:30 Sunday morning, I'm sitting at the house just fucking around with the rosters on Madden football when our neighbor from across the street knocks on the front door, two tickets for the 1:05 Astros/Diamondbacks game in his hand. He says he and his wife didn't feel like going and he thought we might be interested. Never one to turn down free baseball tickets, I said hell yes.   As it happened, yesterday was also the retirement of Craig Biggio's #7 jersey. By the time we made it downtown, parked, and made it inside of Minute Maid Park, it was two minutes before scheduled first pitch (not bad, considering it's a 20-25 minute drive and sfaJill had to get showered and dressed before we could leave) and the ceremony was just finishing up.   Ah, gee, we missed it. Oh well. To me, retiring numbers is one of the most stupid things in sports. I know fans eat it up and teams sell a few extra tickets and make a few extra bucks selling commemorative t-shirts so more power to them, but, to me, it takes the 'hero worship' of pro athletes just a little too far.   Don't get me wrong--I'm all for honoring a team's great players. Lord knows as a fan that I appreciate the great ones when they help my teams do well. But do we really need to make sure that no other player ever wears a certain number again, as if that number is magical and had anything to do with his success??   If you absolutely MUST retire a number or honor a player or whatever at least have the decency to follow the Dallas Cowboys' Ring of Honor model--that way, the player is honored forever (with their number) and the number is continued to be circulated. This also allows for Bob Hayes and Emmitt Smith to make #22 great, just as Drew Pearson and Michael Irvin made #88 great.   As for the game: well, Roy Oswalt had his best start in probably three years--8 IP, 1 H, 10 K, 2 BB. He got the last 15 batters he faced out. Randy Johnson really only made one mistake all day--a 3-run HR to Ty Wigginton in the 1st--but it was more than enough to lose it for him. I've never seen a pitcher dealing like Oswalt was dealing yesteday in person. Just ridiculous.       On a side note, Biggio's is the EIGHTH number retired by the Astros (nine if you count Jackie Robinson's #42). This makes no sense. You're talking about a franchise that's been around for only 47 seasons, has won only one pennant, and zero Hall of Famers (for now, anyway). Are there really eight Astros worthy of number retirement??   Houston Astros who have previously had their number retired:   5 - Jeff Bagwell 24 - Jimmy Wynn 25 - Jose Cruz 32 - Jim Umbricht 33 - Mike Scott 34 - Nolan Ryan 40 - Don Wilson 49 - Larry Dierker    
sfaJack

sfaJack

7
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Is renting an apartment to a Muslim...

...the worst thing you can do to them?   sfaJill has a friend who used to work as an apartment manger. The friend still keeps in touch with a couple of people there and recently learned of this story that happened:   A Muslim couple came in looking for a place and were told that only one apartment was available at that moment. They wanted to see it, so the leasing agent took them out for a tour of it. Immediately upon arriving at the apartment for a look around, the couple got angry. Why? Because the apartment for rent was #911.   They were apparently very insistent that this would not be acceptable because "people here will think we are terrorists" and the other tenants would make their lives "miserable" if two Muslims moved into apartment #911.   Oh, how I love our overly sensitive society.   ---------------------------   In other news, it looks like the latest plan to renovate the Astrodome is dead.     Since the Astros left for Minute Maid Park in 2000 and the Houston Rodeo moved to Reliant Stadium in 2003, the Dome has basically been sitting there collecting dust, save for the occasional high school football playoff game. The final scene of that Friday Night Lights movie was filmed there a couple of years ago. And, of course, we all remember the Dome's last bit of infamy back in 2005 when George W. Bush had all those Katrina refugees locked inside, hoping they would all suffocate in a pile of their own waste.   There has been much talk about what to do with the Dome. One proposal was to turn it into an indoor track and field arena; that coincided with Houston's ill-fated attempt to land the 2012 Summer Olympics. Another was to turn it into a huge parking garage to alleviate the parking issues at Reliant Stadium, but I think somebody figured out that that would be nothing but a giant cardon monoxide death chamber. Still another would have turned it into a "world class" hotel/casino, the sole purpose of which (as proposed) would be to stop Texas gamblers from driving a few hours to the boats in Louisiana.   Thankfully, all of those proposals died. In addition to being idiotic, they would have required tax money to fund and Harris County has already spent over $1 billion on stadiums in the last 10 years; I don't think we need more. Especially for a building that is rapidly turning into ugly, purposeless eyesores in an unattractive part of town. Just tear down the Dome and be done with it, please. Nobody cares about its historical value, and visitors are no longer wowed by it, given the fancier playpens built elsewhere over the years. Please...just let it go so we can stop talking about it. It's for the best.      
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

I'm a minority! Now where's my check?

kkk is worried about the invasion creeping into his neighborhood? It could be worse...   Link   That's right. Harris County, my home, is not so white bread anymore. I guess it's time for us to pack up from and head for The Woodlands. Or, if we can't afford that just yet, Sugar Land will do. In the meantime, let's examine some highlights from the article:   Big surpise. Immigration is a huge issue/problem here and with the ridiculous amount of new, entry-level/cheap housing that has been built throughout the area, I suppose it was only a matter of time.   The dramatic increase in crime in Houston over the last two years can be attributed to Katrina too, but nobody is allowed to say that out loud. In fact, I expect the PC Police to come kick down my door moments after I post this. Assuming anyone is reading, that is.   That's a lot, but not as much as I would have thought, considering Houston absorbed nearly 60,000 Katrina refugees immediately after the storm.   If this is the same "new" United States that will make Hilary Clinton or Barack Obama the next President, you can shove it up your ass.   Ok, what the hell does this even mean? "New Texans?" If you weren't fucking born here, you are not a Texan. Period. Besides, true Texans do not have the goddamn Mexican flag flying in their front yard or hanging off the back of their roach coach taco trucks and do not look at you dumbfounded when they ask you something in Spanish and your only response is to stare blankly back at them like all these "new" Texans do.   Education? Check. Houston ISD schools are terrible. They're like 90% minority. Coincidence?   Health services? Check. A recent report that ran in this same newspaper (I wish I could find the link) claims the average wait time at an emergency room here is about 6 hours and that the city was mobilizing an effort to encourage people to take greater advantage of new free clinics located in "selected" areas of town.   And I'm sure George Bush still hates them because they escaped his Hurricane-O-Matic.     On second thought, maybe one of these two counties will do.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Home Makeover: Jack Edition

Another reason for me to be upset about the Cubs' getting bounced from the playoffs this past Saturday night:   I (stupidly) had promised sfaJill that, after the Cubs had completed their World Series run, we would begin work on painting and re-doing our guest bathroom (sans the bubble towels we she registered for but didn't get as a wedding gift) before moving on to the rest of the house. Barely three hours after the Cubs lost on Saturday, she turns to me and says, "We should go buy some paint tomorrow."   Oh, goody.   A little backstory:   I bought/built the house four years ago because I'd grown weary of both apartment life and renting and basically haven't done anything to it in regards to decoration since then (i.e. all the walls inside are white and there isn't much of anyting hanging on them to liven the place up a little bit). I'm fine with it. Every room is furnished with nice stuff and there isn't much clutter clogging things up. I also kept the place pretty neat and tidy, as is my nature.   sfaJill, however, is not fine with it. And that is where the conflict lies. She HATES the plain white walls and the nice, neat way I had things organized. Apparently, the house doesn't look "lived in" enough and is "boring." Whatever.   I've been successfully delaying this whole remodeling thing since she moved in last December, but now I'm out of excuses that she will accept.   So, yesterday, we spent two hours of prime football watching time wandering around Lowes. We picked out shades of blue, green, brown, and "sand" color paints. We looked at new light fixtures, towel rods, shower heads, etc. She tried to start picking out stuff for our bathroom (which we are going to pay someone to overhaul), our bedroom, and the kitchen, but I was able to put the kibosh on that by convincing her that we should probably just start with the guest bath and see what happens from there.   $300 later, we returned home with paint, a new light fixture, shower head, two towel rods, a paper holder, and a whole list of other crap she wants for other rooms.   Now...do I know anything about electrical wiring and/or hanging a light fixture? No.   Do I know how to take apart a toilet so we can paint behind it? No.   I should be able to change out the shower head, but is it likely to take me less than hour's worth of cursing and breaking shit before I get it right? No.   I have painted before and do a pretty good job at it, but it's a tedious chore I'd rather just skip. Plus, I just know that if there is the slightest hint of a streak in any area I paint, I will be asked to do it again.   This should be fun!  
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Has ANYTHING happened this week?

sfaJill is not very political and seems to only watch the news when there's something about a tragedy affecting young children so she can have a good cry. She's a registered voter, but I can probably count on one hand the number of times I recall her watching/listening to anything to do with the recent apocolypse election.   She told me a few weeks ago that she didn't plan on voting at all because she didn't feel it would be right since she didn't know much of anything about either candidate, as if I'd divorce her because she didn't vote (though I did tell her I WOULD divorce her if she voted for the messiah--but that's neither here nor there). To paraphrase her:   "All I know is that Obama is black, Palin's a woman, and you don't want Obama to win."   Well, this past Saturday after the messiah's latest "redistribute the wealth" gaffe came out (in the form of that "I didn't realize selfishness is now a virtue" quote), I was bitching about it to her when she stopped me.   "Wait, he wants to do what?"   "Redistribute the wealth. Apparently we're selfish for not wanting to just give it away."   "So he wants to take our money and give it away?"   "Yes. Mostly to poor (black people)."   "FUCK HIM. I work my ass off for my money. Those people don't do shit and he wants to give them MY money?? FUCK HIM! I want to vote for McCain."   No comment as to whether I was suddenly turned on or not...   ------------------------   Drawmuh~! at the in-laws: I was somewhat surprised to learn that my mother-in-law absolutely hates McCain and has apparently been loudly and proudly telling people she voted for Obama.   My father-in-law, on the other hand, was quoted by sfaJill as saying, "I'd prefer if McCain wins."   ------------------------   My dad--who HATES Jimmy Carter and has been saying Obama=Carter since before he vanquished Hitlery--had this to say when I called him Wednesday to talk about something totally unrelated:   "Did you see what Russia already did today? I told you!"   ------------------------   On Wednesday, sfaJill and a few of her current and former coworkers got together for lunch. I was invited because, well...I don't know why. I went though because an excuse to get out of the office for lunch without coworkers is fine with me.   Upon arriving and shaking hands with one of her coworkers he, noticing the black polo shirt I had on, leaned in and said, "Ah, man, I forgot to wear my black shirt to mark the death of the United States of America." Then we laughed.   And, no, there was no motivation behind my choice shirt. It was just next up in the rotation. A great bit of political commentary in hindsight though.   ------------------------   One of my coworkers says she voted for Obama. Not because she's enarmored with Obama but because, "I want the Republicans out. They have caused all of our problems."   I told her I'm blaming her for everything that goes wrong in the next four years and I expect to hear no bitching about any of it from her because, hey, the Republicans cause all of our problems.
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Getting my name in the paper...maybe

So I was interviewed by one of the Houston Chronicle's sportswriters yesterday for a story they're doing about sports and the economy. On Wednesday, on his blog, he asked for reader feedback on the topic; specifically, has the DAMN BUSH ECONOMY affected your decisions to attending sports events, be they high school, college, or professional.   My dad and I have had season tickets to the Dallas Cowboys the past four seasons. Other than most of the shitty preseason games, we've not missed a single game during that time. This season, we are not renewing our tickets. Our decision has nothing to do with the massive playoff disappointment of last year or ever-rising ticket prices ($130 a game this last year vs. $78 back in '04, our first year). Rather, with gas likely to be at or near $4 a gallon by the time the season starts and a decent hotel room now costing between $85-90 (as opposed to $60 back in '04), making 8-10 500-mile round trips to Dallas just doesn't make a lot of sense anymore. We've been priced out. Neither of us are very happy about it (and will probably kick ourselves if the 'Boys end up hosting the NFC Championship Game or something), but other than lay out a couple thousand dollars in travel costs (in addition to the tickets), we don't have much choice.   Anyway, since the topic struck a nerve with me, I sent an e-mail to this guy briefly describing our dilemma and decision; he wrote back and asked if he could call me to do a formal interview on Thursday. I said sure and our game of phone tag finally ended last night around 6:00. During our chat, he said he's heard from several folks like me so there's no guarantee that he'll use our story, but I thought it was kind of cool to be part of it.   sfaJill wasn't quite as impressed, but strangley had no comment when I asked if she'd prefer I have my name in the paper because it's in either the obituaries or the police report for slapping her around a while...    
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Friday bullet points

- Not paying too much attention to the Olympics, but then again I never really do. I'll probably watch a little more once the track and field stuff gets going but until them, eh. Whatever. All I know is that Phelps is fast in the pool and the Chinese are apparently cheating at gymnastics.   - FUCK AUDITORS (sorry, Smues). Seriously, I've spent the last five weeks basically leading our company's response to 993 seperate questions raised in a client audit about all of our 2007 invoices for this one job we have. Don't get me wrong--it's important work, especially since it's this company's second-most profitable job. But when I have to waste my time trying to track down what an $11.62 charge at a little bodega in London on some dude's expense report from March 24 of last year was for, well, let's just say that it's not exactly a great use of my time.   - Story of the week in Houston has been Victoria Osteen vs. a Continental flight attendant. At least the jury came back with a sane decision. The only way it could have been better would have been to award Ms. Brown $1.   - Cubs in first place, 4 1/2 up on Milwaukee. Times are good.   - We've hired a contractor to paint the inside of our house over Labor Day weekend. Normally I would be opposed to doing so, but 1) I hate painting and 2) we've been talking about painting it ourselves for 4 months now. Clearly, hiring someone is the only way it is actually going to get done.
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

First entry

So this is it—the first entry of what is sure to be one of the least-read blogs on TSM.   I’ve had a couple of web adventures like this before.   In college, shortly after I quit writing for the student newspaper, my then-roommate and I collaborated on a little website (hosted on Angelfire) that focused primarily on the sports news around our campus. It was a mild success; we had a small group of dedicated readers and even gained a tiny bit of infamy when my roommate wrote an editorial listing 23 reasons why the football coach shouldn’t have been fired (reason #12: “His wife is hot and we don’t have enough hot women around here”).   That lasted about nine months before we had to shut it down because 1) I had to get another job because I needed cash and we were not earning a dime from the website and 2) it was taking a little too much time to maintain properly.   Fast forward about four years and I opened up my own personal blog. I think all three of my friends read it…once. After a year or so, I lost interest and erased the blog from existence. It wasn’t that good anyway.   So now, I’m giving this whole blogging thing another go. I won’t promise to update on a daily basis, but I do promise to try and make a few posts a week while also making said posts interesting. Given that most of my blogging will be written while I’m “working,” there’s a decent shot of at least the former happening.   If it ends up being neither, well, bite me. It’s not like anyone’s paying me to be entertaining.
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Farewell Texas Stadium

You know you’ve wasted too much time here over the years when you’re driving on the Westpark Tollway, pass a business named ‘Kinetic Furniture’ on your right, and immediately think of TSM.   So my Dad and I attended the final tragedy game at Texas Stadium this past Saturday night. I think I've written before about how we held season tickets to the Cowboys for the last four years but declined to renew this season for a variety of reasons. Going forward, we figured that we would just pick a game or two each season and acquire tickets from the Internet, possibly even throwing in a road game every now and then (if I can ever convince my dad to get on an airplane). For this season, we figured why not go to the final game ever at Texas Stadium?   Well, that, uh, didn’t turn out so well.   A couple of notes:   We thought it was weird that the final game was against the Ravens. How can the league NOT have the Cowboys play one of their long-time NFC East opponents in the final game at Texas Stadium? It’s crazy.   Then it came out late Saturday night/early Sunday morning that Jerry Jones petitioned the NFL before the schedule was finalized last spring to have the Ravens be the opponent in the final game because he thought they were an easy win.   Memo to Jerry: stop hand-picking opponents. You’re embarrassing yourself. First of all, if you’re going to pick a homecoming opponent this season, how in the hell did you not pick the Bengals? Or the 49ers. At least you have some history with them. Secondly, do you not remember the last time you picked your opponent?   Also, Texas Stadium is a neat place in that the Cowboys have played there for 38 years and won their first of five Super Bowls in the year it opened, 1971.   But let’s not kid ourselves. Other than the hole in the roof—so God can watch his favorite team play—and it being the first stadium built with public financing (the bonds sold for $6 apiece), there’s really nothing special about it. We’re not talking about closing down Lambeau or Soldier Field here. It’s not the most photogenic place and it just kind of sits there in the middle of a huge, ugly parking lot. The concourse is crowded, it can get really hot in there, I don’t think they’ve put a coat of paint on it since 1994, and if you sit in parts of the upper deck without binoculars you should have just saved your money and stayed home. So there’s no reason to get overly emotional about its demise.   (Note: the ticket prices at the new stadium they’re building in Arlington though? THAT is something to cry about.)   It was nice to see that they did put some effort into making the last game a big deal though. The Cowboys must have installed some new video boards in the offseason and replaced a few light bulbs because the place just looked a little brighter than usual and you could actually read all of the text displayed on the video boards without squinting. And it was nice to see them trot out a bunch of legendary Cowboy players during timeouts and whatnot, though to be honest, none of them said anything remotely interesting. I don’t think half of the crowd even knew who guys like Don Perkins and Lee Roy Jordan are.   As for the game itself, well, what needs to be said? It was truly historic because no team in NFL history had ever had two touchdown runs of 75 yards or more in the same quarter until the Ravens did it to ice the game late.   The Cowboys’ offense was terrible the entire game. We knew that was going to be the case because Tony Romo looked terrible in pregame warm-ups, missing most of his throws high. And the defense, after a hot first half, turned in a dog shit effort in the second, particularly in the fourth quarter. The two long runs made for an unfathomable way to lose a game and easily surpassed any other loss in the four seasons we had tickets, in terms of sheer lunacy. (The playoff loss last year to the Giants still ranks #1 on the “disappointing loss” list.)   It was so ridiculous and aggravating that we didn’t even stick around for the “closing ceremonies” after the game. Apparently at least half of the crowd felt the same way. Watching local TV news the next morning, we found out that it probably wouldn’t have been worth staying for anyway. The newscasters were puzzled that so few decided to stay for that ceremony but, really, would you expect otherwise after the “effort” the Cowboys put forward?   The worst part might be that, on the way home, Dad and I made our peace with the Cowboys’ 2008 season. The combination of injuries, talent regression, and often-poor coaching just added up to a “Not Their Year”. Losing to the Ravens was really damaging to their playoff chances, as it meant they couldn’t get in without a lot of help from other teams.   And then Tampa lost to San Diego.   And Philly lost to Washington.   And, suddenly, the Cowboys are back in control of their own destiny. Win at Philly on Sunday, and all is forgiven.   Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in…   I just wish I knew which Cowboys team is going to show up in Philly.
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Eddie Griffin can't read

Former Rocket Eddie Griffin was killed in a car-train accident last week.   Anyone who followed Eddie Griffin knew he was headed for an early death, though I figured it would have been from a gunshot. At least he wasn't watching porn and masturbating when he ran into the train.   One question does come to mind though: if his body was so badly burned that it took dental records to identify him, then how can there be a toxicology report? Wouldn't all of that evidence be destoryed in the fire? Someone who watches one of those 20 different CSI shows help a brotha out....   -----------------------------   Here's a shock: Americans don't read. Personally, I think I read 4 or 5 books last year, which I guess puts me about average. In my youth, I read a lot more than I do now (most of the Hardy Boys books, for instance), but reading hasn't appealed to me much since I was forced to ead way too many uninteresting books in college. I just got burned out in those years and haven't ever felt the urge to start reading again.   Well, except for the Internet. The Internet is always fascinating. I'm sure the amount of time I've wasted just at TSM alone over the years is enough to put me in the "avid reader" category. If this sort of crap counted. Sadly, it's gotten me nothing but weird looks from my girlfriend/fiance/wife when she asks what I'm reading and I respond "a pro wrestling messageboard on the Internet."   At least the headline wasn't "1 in 4 Adults CAN'T Read". Yet. I'm sure if we give the Democrats enough time to fuck up public education we'll get there eventually. Although, to be fair, W. and his gang haven't done much better in that regard.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Door slamming, RAYCISM~!, and valuable dog poop

My wife called me an ass last night because I had the audacity to basically slam our front door in the face of a guy who was trying to sell carpet cleaning - at 8:45 p.m.   "It's 8:45! That is too damn late to be knocking on somebody's door selling shit."   "You still should have just told him 'no thank you' and been nice about it."   "Or maybe he should learn not to bother people with his crap so late."   *Sigh* "I love you anyway, even if you are a jerk."   "I know."   -------------------------------------------------   HA HA HA     I saw this on the local news this morning and (after I finished laughing) was left a little baffled as to exactly how this is racist considering the number of dumb/lazy white people we have living off of welfare in this country. That is definitely not a "problem" exclusive to black, brown, albino or whatever other people.   But, of course, they had an angry black woman on camera (not quoted here) decrying this as one the worst things she's ever seen because her daughter saw it and it hurt her very much to have to explain to her kid why this sign is so offensive. Nevermind the fact that she herself instantly assumed that the sign was aimed at black people.   I can't wait to see how long it will be before she or someone else sues Mr. Ransom for his horrible display of inhumanity.   -------------------------------------------------   Ewwww   You know what? I'd go retrieve it, too. $650 is $650. If you wear rubber gloves, it's not much worse than cleaning a litter box.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
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