People who don't shut the fuck up during movies

[Epic Reine 0]

Yesterday, me and a few friends went to see The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and during the movie, some kid sat right in back of me and kept talking during the movie and I don't mean whispering I mean, RIDICULOUSLY LOUD TALKING DURING THE ENTIRE MOVIE!

 

He made comments and almost ruined the entire experience for me. What i don't get is why the parents never told him to quiet down or tell him he shouldn't make noise during movies, it's ridiculous that he did that.

 

This also reminded me of the time when I saw the first Spider-Man movie in theaters and millions of comic book nerds shouted out everytime Spidey busted out a move. Ridiculous.

 

So what's your worse talking during the movie story?

[Vern Gagne 0]

You actually went to see that movie?

 

Seriously though. I've been lucky to avoid that scenario for the most part at the movies? During Demolition Man, some kids mentioned Taco Bell for whatever reason. I told them if they're going to make smartass comments, at least be funny.

[the max 0]

I usually just move.

 

One of my favorites was with these stupid early-mid-teen girls at The Bourne Identity who did nothing but talk and play with their cell phones for the entire movie. I asked them politely to keep it down, to which they replied "Too bad" and got even louder. Eventually, some of their friends came in and the girls and these kids started running in and out of the theatre for whatever reason, so I tripped one of the girls as she was running out of the theatre. She started yelling at me about me tripping her, to which I replied "Too bad". The people sitting next to us got a big kick out of that. All the stupid people left after that.

 

My favorite that I wasn't a part of, but got a big kick out of was at the Saw showing that me and the girlfriend went to. For whatever reason, there were a TON of twelve/thirteen year old kids there, chatting, yelling, etc.etc. This happened all during the previews and the guy sitting a few seats down from us was getting pretty pissed at the ones in the row in front of us (they were trying to toss candy in their mouths and kept hitting him, they talked loudly all through the previews, etc.) so he waited for a quiet, creepy part in the movie, when the kids were oblivious to everything around them, and grabbed two of them by the shoulder and screamed 'JIGSAW'S GOTCHA'

 

Heh. Those kids left shortly after that.

[Slayer 0]

One of my favorites was with these stupid early-mid-teen girls at The Bourne Identity who did nothing but talk and play with their cell phones for the entire movie. I asked them politely to keep it down, to which they replied "Too bad" and got even louder. Eventually, some of their friends came in and the girls and these kids started running in and out of the theatre for whatever reason, so I tripped one of the girls as she was running out of the theatre. She started yelling at me about me tripping her, to which I replied "Too bad".

Gold

 

 

 

I don't know if I'm really lucky or just choose the right times to see movies, because I've never really had any bad experiences like these at a movie, save for the occasional "Why the fuck did you bring your baby to a movie?" scenario. Either get a sitter or don't fucking come to the theater.

[Guest BDC]

Only experience I ever had was I had gone to see something... I don't even remember what it was. Anyway, I'm sitting dead center of the theater and there are these teenyboppers everywhere. They just kept going. I didn't bother during the previews, but once the movie started, they're still going. I cup my hands around my mouth and go "EVERYBODY SHUT UP". For some reason it worked.

[Guest PlatinumBoy]

I've never had a big problem with this until two weeks ago. My roomate and I get tickets to see Sin City at 9:50, we barely make it since we both had meetings and job stuff until 9:30, get in and sit down, previews start, everything is fine. Three open seats next to us, this guy and two huge fat women sit down in them--first bad thing is the woman who sat next to me smelled like shit.

 

The movie starts--and they didn't shut the hell up. They talked on their cell phones the whole time, yelled stuff at the screen, talked to each other, made stupid jokes and comments, and kept complaining about how the movie was in black and white. What was worse was the one next to me looked like and sounded like Monique... ugh. Finally they left halfway through, but they had the whole area shushing them and just staring at them--the guy wasn't bad, and the one girl wasn't that bad--just one call--but the one next to me was awful.

 

Somewhat similar to The Max, back in high school during Shallow Hal these three 14 year olds sit in front of us who talk through the previews and first 25 minutes of the movie. One of my friends who is 6"3-6"4 and on steroids is getting more and more pissed at them until one of them goes, "You know what I think--" and he cuts them off by leaning down at them and shouting, "You know what I think, that I could fucking kick all of your asses right now! Now shut the fuck up and watch the movie!!!!!!!" His roid rage did the trick.

[Fuzzy Dunlop 0]

Some kid was resting his feet against the back of my chair, so I reached back and swept his legs out, pulling him out of his seat and resulting in his ass crashing to the floor.

[Guest CronoT]

A friend of mine and his mom went to a movie a few years ago. Now, he looks like a real "gang banger," even though he's normally one of the nicest guys you'd ever meet. Just don't piss him off.

 

Well, in the theater, there were two kids who got bored with the movie, and started throwing popcorn down at them. Well, after about the third or fourth time, my friend got really pissed off, and went up there. He told them, in the quietest, most evil voice he could, "If you don't stop throwing popcorn at us, I'm going to kick the ever-loving shit out of you."

 

The kids left about 5 minutes later.

 

A funny time that I saw that didn't involve me, was when I went to go see the South Park movie. I watched as some lady and her small son walked into the theater. My first impulse was to go up to her and ask her why she was bringing that little kid to the movie. But, I decided it would be more fun to watch them watching the movie.

 

When Saddam pulled out the dildo, she grabbed her kid and left, and quite a few people in the theater laughed.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I always just get up, walk to the source of the noise and ask them—without yelling but still loud enough for most of the theater to here—"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING?" Doesn't always work the first time, but will the second time.

 

Back when I shaved my head, my appearence was enough to never require a second time.

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

There was one time these stupid teenage girls about 3 or 4 rows in front of me wouldn't shut up so I started pelting them with M&Ms until they got the hint.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Also, maintain eye contact while addressing them. Be firm; lets them know you're serious.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Once, some years back, I was seeing a movie I wasn't enjoying (can't recall what it was). This teenager in front of me wouldn't shut up, so, seeing how I was bored—and her yakking wasn't distracting me from anything—I began periodically kicking the back of her chair. Each kick would shut her up for a moment, but she never stopped the flow of inane chatter, nor did she turn around and say something to me.

 

After the movie was over, I was walking out, with her right behind me, when she said to one of her friends that yeah, the movie was okay, but this guy—I couldn't see her but I could tell she meant me—was being an asshole. So I turned around and told her that hey, given you wouldn't shut the fuck up for most of the movie, you now know what it must've felt like for the people who might've been enjoying themselves.

 

She had no response.

[Nighthawk 0]

I can shut people up just by looking at them. I'm a scary motherfucker. But I hate crowded theaters, so I almost never go to movies with a lot of people in them. Usually it's ok.

[Guest CronoT]

The BEST time to go to a movie to avoid big crowds is on a Monday or a Tuesday, some time in the morning or early afternoon. However, this doesn't always apply to super-popular movies, ie, Spider-Man, Star Wars, etc.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

When Saddam pulled out the dildo, she grabbed her kid and left, and quite a few people in the theater laughed.

As if everything else before that was ok -- lol.

 

I don't go to movies that much. The last time I had a "problem" with someone was some guy and his kid for Return of the King. He sat next to me. He wasn't horrible or anything, but everytime something was about to happen, he'd tell his son what was going on and he was dead wrong. Like the scene at the end when everyone was headed to the gates of Mordor, or whatever that scene was at the near end, he told his kid that they were going to sneak up and ambush the bad guys (Not Frodo and Sam mind you, but the remaining soldiers.)

 

Usually if some idiots are behind me I just sit up straight and block their view. I've also wanted to trip kids running up and down the aisles, but I always sit in the middle of the rows to avoid assholes getting up every 5 minutes to leave...

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

I saw Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on Friday night at 4:50. When my friends and I got to the theatre, it was filled with all sorts of virgin-looking motherfuckers who clearly played a lot of D&D. You know the type...fat, long hair, scraggly beards, smelled like Dorritos. We sat right behind a group of like six of them, who were loud as shit during the previews. They kept on talking until my buddy asked me, "What's so important that these guys won't shut the fuck up?" I answered back very loudly, "Clearly, the twelfth level dungeon master has something very important to say and we should all pay attention." They were quiet for a little bit, but every time they would start up being loud again, I'd yell out something like, "Cloak of Reduced Focus Invisibility!" "Mighty Sword of Eternal Flame!" and it shut them up. Of course, just yelling out "Shut the fuck up!" works well sometimes.

[Jingus 0]

By the way, when someone is talking during the movie: don't go grab the first theater employee you see and demand that they stop all this nonsense. That happened several times back when I worked at theaters. I did my best, but fucking hell, I was just a nerdy 16-year-old kid, what the fuck did they expect me to accomplish?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

And if you even try to do anything regarding noisy patrons, your manager will not back you up so don't bother...

[Skywarp! 0]

Either go on a school night, or don't go where the teenies are known to hang out. Going to independently owned theatres does the trick nicely, too.

[Masked Man of Mystery 0]

I recall hearing a couple of people laughing(not loudly, but enough to notice in a small theater during a silent movie) at some of the acting when I went and saw the new restoration of the orginal Metropolis. hey ended up leaving. Some people just shouldn't watch some movoes, know what I mean?

[Skywarp! 0]

Completely Off topic: I haven't watched wrestling in years and have no intention of going in those folders. What happened to Chris Candido?

[Vern Gagne 0]

He died.

[Jingus 0]

If you're going into a movie that was made decades ago, or in another country, or on a budget of five bucks, or whatever, I say you forfeit your right to make stupid comments at the screen.

 

The only time talking should be allowed is when you're giving the MST3K treatment to a shitty movie that truly deserves it. Some friends and I had a real fun time watching Final Destination doing that. And you should still try to sit far away from other people & keep it down so that you don't bug them.

[Nighthawk 0]

I love Final Dstination! Both of them! Not saying they aren't shitty, or that you wer ewrong for doing that. Just saying I love them.

[Jingus 0]

My girlfriend at the time actually called the exact line "Somehow... I almost... believed him!" right before it happened. Oh, and the original ending (the lead hero dude dies, but his girlfriend has gotten pregnant, so them making a new life breaks the cycle of death) would've been much better than the generic "Thank heavens that all ended well, for a minute there I was afraid OH GOD THE PAIN" crap that they went with.

[Guest Smues]

When I went and saw Drumline the theater crowd consister of me and my girl friend, a few other people, and about 20-25 teeny boppers that would not shut the fuck up. Gab gab gab cell phone cell phone cell phone all through the commercials and previews, which didn't bother me because I don't care when people are loud during the trailers. But once the movie started the noise got louder. One of the other people in the theater yelled "Ok teenies it's time to shut the fuck up." But they just laughed it off. After this went on for awhile someone went and got a theater employee who came in and the kids shut up for a little bit, but not for long. Figuring this would happen however the usher hadn't actually left the theater, he was just waiting at the door. When they got rowdy again he threw a couple of them out. That shut them up.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I like black girls that yell at the screen. Like "no! Don't go in there! The monster in there!" They can't hear you. It's not like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure movie, where suddenly everything stops and a slide comes up that says "to make Tom open the door, request reel 3. To make Tom turn and run, request reel 9. To try and meet the king, request reel 14." Shut up and watch.

[Nighthawk 0]

My girlfriend at the time actually called the exact line "Somehow... I almost... believed him!" right before it happened. Oh, and the original ending (the lead hero dude dies, but his girlfriend has gotten pregnant, so them making a new life breaks the cycle of death) would've been much better than the generic "Thank heavens that all ended well, for a minute there I was afraid OH GOD THE PAIN" crap that they went with.

Oh man, I hated that ending. I love those movies just for the cool death scenes.

[Black Lushus 0]

In general, don't go to a movie aimed at a black audience if this is your issue...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I always talk to the movie, because I don't pay to get in. If there aren't very many people in there, I smoke.

 

No one has ever shushed me.