The SWF Ashes 2 Ashes Border Run Thread!

[Ace309]

Here we go! It's time for the PPV Border Run! However, things are a little different, because we're in North Korea.

 

THEREFORE, if you meet one of the following conditions:

 

a) You win your PPV match;

b) Your match wins;

c) You are a retired IGN/SWFer; or

d) You are Crowe,

 

you will receive an item of your choice from CHINA!

 

Everyone make your requests, and my midget luchador will make the run and pick up your items!

[chirs3]

I want the rickshaw used to carry all the other loot back.

 

And the original Chinese Checkers set.

[Toxxic]

I want the toupee of Chairman Mao.

[Smartly Pretty]

I want the rights to an absurd game show.

[Toxxic]

That's Japan, fool.

[Smartly Pretty]

then how about an aborted child.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

The Chinese Heavyweight Championship. So I can be a double (or triple) champion.

[JJ Johnson]

I want a history pipe. Historians had unlimited power back in the early days, so I suspect they had pipes to where they could smoke their history instead of reading all of those boring books. Also, pornography. Specifically, "The Rape of Nanking" volumes 1-4. Put that in your history pipe and smoke it.

[the.weej]

I can't remember the last time a one-liner on the SWF boards made me laugh out loud.

 

I desire Tiannamen Rice Krispy Squares.

 

-Z

[JHawk]

The Chinese Junior Heavyweight Championship, so I can hit Spike over the head with it and take the Heavyweight Title.

 

Plus, a lifetime supply of Chinese food (otherwise known as "food" in China).

[janusd]

The Chinese midget equivalent of Spike, to be our butler and kicktoy.

[Guest Divefire]

In a joke I suspect will be lost on most of you, I'd like the Mg/Rover car company back, please.

[Toxxic]

[Ace309]

THE MIDGET LUCHADORS HAVE RETURNED!

 

That's right, my company of very short men in Mexican wrestling masks has completed its border run to China, and here's what they brought back:

 

~ For Divefire, we're sorry, but we couldn't bring back the MG/Rover car company. We did, however, bring you the Chinese nonunion equivalent of the band Booker T and the MGs, "The Little Red Coupe de Villes."

~ For Janus, we've got Spike Jenkins' Chinese midget equivalent, "Hunan" Spike Li. Careful - he's been smoking grass. (Not marijuana, actual grass.)

~ For Jay Hawke, a lifetime supply of Kung Pao Chicken in a KFC barrel, since that's what they gave us when we ordered "chicken," and the Chinese Junior Heavyweight Championship. Be advised, however, that it will change hands on a count-out, disqualification or mandate from heaven.

~ For Majordomo Belcourt, Tiannamen Rice Krispie Squares, flavoured with the soft, marshmallow-like resolve of the capitalist pigs.

~ For JJ Johnson, a bunch of illegal pornography produced by PornoSec, and a UV-protective helmet to shield you from the dumb looks of your friends.

~ For Akira, brain bleach. You're an evil, evil man.

~ For Michael Stephens, the Little Red Rug.

~ For Chris Raynor, a Ming Dynasty gunpowder-propelled rickshaw, complete with a crudely-carved Chinese Checker set that attempts to implement the little-known "Mongol rule" allowing you to forfeit a turn and in exchange punch your opponent in the mouth.

 

ENJOY~!

[JJ Johnson]

Be advised, however, that it will change hands on a count-out, disqualification or mandate from heaven.

 

YES.