Angel_Grace_Blue

I was going to wish you happy birthday, but people that wish themselves a happy birthday smell. Happy birthday, smelly.

I sent in about 3K in which I took aspects/ideas from losing matches and tacked them onto each other like some Matchenstein.

Dangerous got a "Dear John" letter?

Je suis un loup-garou!

For those of you who don't know or don't head into chat, many of us play a game called Global Combat. It's an online version of Risk. Sadly, if you don't pay to sign up, you cannot make games private and any loser can join. We try to keep it all SWF if possible, but some idiots manage to slip through. This is one such occassion. Enjoy. Maybe people will pay attention when you ask not to force turn this time... From GOdrea 50 min, 27 sec ago meep. From hhh6294 50 min, 23 sec ago I thought you were only referring to the one turn. From realitycheck 50 min, 6 sec ago Thus, "brb" or "afk" From realitycheck 49 min, 51 sec ago Kick Zed in the balls. It was him. From TheSatanicAngel 49 min, 49 sec ago start? let's force.. 5 min willbe long.. From DevoidOfEgo 49 min, 11 sec ago Game Game #203997 Started From Computer 48 min, 24 sec ago why do u keep kicking me From Syrus 48 min, 14 sec ago because we don't want you in here? From NAB 46 min, 44 sec ago This was supposed to be a game with just the 5 of us, but unfortunately you didn't get the hint the first time I booted your ass out. From hhh6294 45 min, 54 sec ago well fuck u to dick head, maybe u should have said so From Syrus 45 min, 9 sec ago woah... short fuse. What's wrong, did you mom not hug you enough as a kid? From NAB 44 min, 13 sec ago fuck you, ur lucky ur fucking ass isn't hear or i would bet the shit out of it From Syrus 42 min, 49 sec ago and too bad i dont have a mum, cock head From Syrus 42 min, 30 sec ago lol... tough words kid. ain't it past your bed time? From hhh6294 42 min, 7 sec ago you don't have one? you mean like never did? test tube baby? schweeeeet. From NAB 41 min, 58 sec ago NAB, I think he's gay for you. From GOdrea 41 min, 18 sec ago fuck you, yere i had a fucking mum but she dead dick head, show some sign of fucking repect. From Syrus 40 min, 18 sec ago Yeah. BOOYASHAKA!! From GOdrea 39 min, 30 sec ago Too bad she didn't teach you how to play nice with others before she died. (Not likely she's dead anyways.) From NAB 37 min, 55 sec ago thats it were do u fuckers live, or r u too scear to tell me From Syrus 37 min, 21 sec ago There's some phrase I'm thinking of ... 'you've got to give respect to get it' ... yeah. You haven't shown an ounce to us, why should we show any to you? From TheSatanicAngel 36 min, 49 sec ago It's like he's trying to communicate with us. I just know it! From GOdrea 36 min, 45 sec ago so u think its funny paying out a dead person From Syrus 36 min, 21 sec ago I'm in Melbourne, Florida. I'd be more than happy to see you. From TheSatanicAngel 36 min, 12 sec ago Is English even your first language? What are you going to do, pay about $1000 in either gas money or plane tickets to come find us all and teach us "repect"? From NAB 35 min, 43 sec ago Madison, WI. Come and get some bitch. From hhh6294 35 min, 37 sec ago ur the fuckers that were being pricks in the first place From Syrus 35 min, 19 sec ago come on tell us were u live From Syrus 34 min, 46 sec ago quit talking and go. From hhh6294 34 min, 40 sec ago Springfield, Missouri~! No ones too "scear" to tell you~! From NAB 34 min, 6 sec ago That's your opinion, of course. Ours is quite different. From TheSatanicAngel 33 min, 54 sec ago I LIEK PONIES!!! From GOdrea 33 min, 48 sec ago Madison, hey thats funny, i got mates that live there. did u see on the news about the guys that beat the living shit through those teens at the park, yere there my mates. From Syrus 33 min, 6 sec ago Sceary. From TheSatanicAngel 32 min, 38 sec ago wow... yer mates are real cool. From hhh6294 32 min, 26 sec ago I amz live in van down by teh river!!~!11 LOLLERGOLFCART!!! From GOdrea 32 min, 14 sec ago I'm sceared, that's for sure. Do they speak engrish too? From NAB 31 min, 41 sec ago fuck up dickhead, ur jus lucky i dont kno anyone how live in Madison or u might jus be spending a night or to in a hospital bed, how does that sound From Syrus 31 min, 9 sec ago He's totally gay for you, NAB. From GOdrea 30 min, 2 sec ago u kno whats funny, they r black and hate dicks like u From Syrus 30 min, 1 sec ago It might sound cool if I could understand what you were saying. "fuck up dickhead, ur jus lucky i dont kno anyone how live in Madison or u might jus be spending a night or to in a hospital bed, how does that sound" From NAB 29 min, 59 sec ago I thought you had 'mates' in Madison ... so now who's the liar? From TheSatanicAngel 29 min, 57 sec ago racist~! From NAB 29 min, 37 sec ago i wasn't talking to From Syrus 28 min, 10 sec ago yeah i am racist, to u white boys that like they r really cool From Syrus 27 min, 38 sec ago huh? Jibberish is only spoken in space, dumbass. From hhh6294 26 min, 48 sec ago You can tell a person's race via typing? You amz teh magic!!!11 LOLLERPANTS!! From GOdrea 26 min, 34 sec ago I hate black people that are racist against whites, but blame all their problems on whites ... From TheSatanicAngel 26 min, 18 sec ago oh my god, you just got told off for about 20 minutes and you're still fighting it out. Give it a break, we win, you lose, tell all of your mates in middle school how totally cool you are for argueing over the internet. From NAB 26 min, 8 sec ago whoat From GOdrea 24 min, 12 sec ago fuck you, let me guess ur prob a loser, who has no friends and enjoys getting fucked up the ass by his dad.... and sits at home feeling sorry for himself cos no one likes him From Syrus 24 min, 8 sec ago right... now how old are we? 10? 11? From hhh6294 23 min, 14 sec ago Sounds more like you than any of us. From TheSatanicAngel 23 min, 12 sec ago I am so high right now, dudes. Like, really high. From GOdrea 23 min, 1 sec ago oh jus to let u kno yeah, i'm lov being a black man who bets the shit out of u white boys cos ur all pussys and cant fight for shit From Syrus 22 min, 34 sec ago fuckin dont be hatin on syrus, well fuck u up good From crusen86 22 min, 26 sec ago right... now how old are we? 10? 11? From hhh6294 22 min, 22 sec ago I'm the loser, yet you're the one sitting at home on a Friday night playing a game on the INTERNET~! and fighting with people you'll never know and never meet. I'm too good for you, kid. Hit me back up when you learn how to type and argue. From NAB 21 min, 57 sec ago I ask once again how he can tell a person's race simply through typing... From GOdrea 21 min, 55 sec ago I ask once again how he can tell a person's race simply through typing... From GOdrea 21 min, 35 sec ago GOdrea, u sound like the only one out of ur dickhead mates that now how to live life, getting high. always good From Syrus 21 min, 1 sec ago Game Started: 26 min, 27 sec ago Flamewar Started: 23 min, 13 sec ago Flamewar Ended (L, Syrus): 23 min, 02 sec ago From realitycheck 20 min, 58 sec ago he's psychic, 'drea. From hhh6294 20 min, 54 sec ago ...bort.... From GOdrea 20 min, 39 sec ago fuckin dont be hatin on syrus, well fuck u up good From crusen86 20 min, 29 sec ago I'm black too, dude. What's the difference? You're probably some little cracker that's been playing too much San Andreas and listening to too much Dre. From NAB 20 min, 28 sec ago he's psychic, 'drea. From hhh6294 20 min, 22 sec ago Okay, so we all told you where we live. Where do YOU live? I'm fairly sure we could all afford to travel to your residence (being of age to have a job and all) so that we can see this amazing ability you have to rape cats. From TheSatanicAngel 19 min, 54 sec ago skr00 j00 Aussie punk! I'll fuxor j00 up boi! From hhh6294 19 min, 33 sec ago I mean, beat pussies. From TheSatanicAngel 19 min, 13 sec ago becasue white boys show no respect whereas we do, and dont pay out people for having a mom that died when they were 10, right in front of them From Syrus 19 min, 7 sec ago ?? From TheSatanicAngel 18 min, 40 sec ago You dolt. I am in no way shape or form high. It's an in-joke shared between me and my 'dickhead mates' as you so eloquently put it. From GOdrea 18 min, 40 sec ago aww... life's a bitch. My wife had to watch 2 family members die in front of her. get over it. From hhh6294 18 min, 3 sec ago And I'm not really black, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. From NAB 17 min, 53 sec ago fuckin dont be hatin on syrus, well fuck u up good From crusen86 17 min, 44 sec ago Oh, just FYI, I still liek ponies From GOdrea 17 min, 29 sec ago This is more intense than any of the Risk games I've been involved in. Incidentally, this has also been more of a complete tooling than the last game I was involved in. From realitycheck 17 min, 4 sec ago So, I win then? Your mom really didn't hug you enough when you were a kid? BAZING~! From NAB 16 min, 49 sec ago me i live in brisbane australia, 56 grooes wood hill, come and get me dick head From Syrus 16 min, 48 sec ago Gekos > Ponies From hhh6294 16 min, 38 sec ago I know I said I'm not high, which I'm not, but what happens if you do get high while sitting in a ditch or some other depression in the ground? From GOdrea 16 min, 5 sec ago Shit, I ain't traveling half way around the world to whoop your skinny ass. From TheSatanicAngel 15 min, 38 sec ago Ah...guys, it's not him talking, it's those crazy cane toad overlords. Or something... From GOdrea 15 min, 7 sec ago brisbane? fuck dude, same as me we should start a crew From crusen86 14 min, 46 sec ago why not i though u said u had heaps of money, so bring it i'll be waiting From Syrus 14 min, 16 sec ago We can get Janus to do it. From GOdrea 13 min, 53 sec ago I do have heaps of money, but I'd rather spend it on something worthwhile. You aren't even considerable. From TheSatanicAngel 13 min, 20 sec ago yeah... We can wire some cash to Janus and Crusen to kick his ass. ...and maybe Crowe and Muzz can tag along if they're good too. From hhh6294 12 min, 52 sec ago hey crusen86 u get wat i'm saying about these white boys and not showing any repect From Syrus 12 min, 45 sec ago Yeah. I'm really Bill Gates. I got mad bank, yo! Bling bling in my grill, mu'fuckahs! From GOdrea 12 min, 38 sec ago I know people in Brisbane! bwahahaha. From janusd 12 min, 27 sec ago brisbane? fuck dude, same as me we should start a crew From crusen86 12 min, 18 sec ago I know people in Brisbane! bwahahaha. From janusd 12 min, 5 sec ago Man, Crusen be hatin' on us whiteys. He's always "Kill whitey!" and "Whitey gots ta die!" From GOdrea 11 min, 27 sec ago I spend enough of my tax dollars helping all the sorry ass black people in America. From TheSatanicAngel 11 min, 22 sec ago well then do it, i'll be waiting, dont worry all my bros will be hear From Syrus 11 min, 15 sec ago Crusen's so hateful he locked himself in a shed to prove his damn point. Fricken racist Nazi. From hhh6294 10 min, 48 sec ago where u live crusen From Syrus 10 min, 15 sec ago brisbane? fuck dude, same as me we should start a crew From crusen86 10 min, 1 sec ago Adelaide, d00d From hhh6294 9 min, 47 sec ago But he call it "Hate-whitey-aide" From GOdrea 9 min, 22 sec ago yeah we could From Syrus 8 min, 23 sec ago adelaide in australia From Syrus 8 min, 14 sec ago no... in Puerto Rico. From hhh6294 7 min, 52 sec ago Are you sure you're from Australia? From TheSatanicAngel 7 min, 39 sec ago yes, why the hell would i lie From Syrus 6 min, 46 sec ago um... because you want us to think you're k00l? From hhh6294 5 min, 6 sec ago brisbane? fuck dude, same as me we should start a crew From crusen86 4 min, 4 sec ago why would i wont black hating white boys like u to think i'm cool, i would must rather live here than in america where the country is ran buy dickheads like bush From Syrus 3 min, 22 sec ago u want to cyber d00d? From GOdrea 2 min, 39 sec ago waat the fuck From Syrus 1 min, 50 sec ago im out of here, guy fuck From Syrus 1 min, 20 sec ago m00p From hhh6294 52 sec ago to recap the scored, that's us - 1, Syrus - 0 From NAB 11 sec ago

You being a tool is the reason I pick you to lose at life.

What the fuck are you talking about, Spike? I've shown for pretty much every match I've had since my return. Tool.

Muzz, Muzz, Muzz. You need to ask the hard-hitting questions around here. So, Fury, boxers, or live, starving lobsters duct taped to your body?

Never said I was. That's actually sad. Five years and $25,000 wasted on that? I'd never get that bad as to go that far.

Maybe it's just me, but White playing as hurt as you say he was is kind of dumb. If he had so many problems, he should have backed down. I think a real leader would think "Man, I'm not playing like I was. These injuries are dragging me down. I should turn it over to someone else." But, he didn't, and they lost. I'm just wondering what the Heisman scene would look like if Auburn only had one star running back. Easy to put up huge numbers when you don't have to split your carries with another player... Back to your whatever this is.

Mos Def - all of The New Danger

Is it Sam or Frank? Oh, and he works for a sandwich? That includes BACON! ? Not that I've tried it, but I really doubt that a dry noodle could kill someone/pierce his/her throat. Maybe it's magic, plus six spaghetti.

I was thinking about skits on albums. Might just be me, but I've only encountered them on rap albums, but that's not really the point of the thread. As the subtitle says, what are some of your personal favorites, ones you hate, whatever. I like Ice T's "Black & Decker" partly for the last lines "Probably sound a lot like that." The drilling sound made me a bit uncomfortable first time I heard it, though. E-40's "Mustard and Mayonnaise" is awesome just for the slang, but his kid is great. "Mustard and man-daise?" David Banner's "Whoremonger" is interesting, if only for him getting so angry that he can't speak at the end. Perhaps I'll recall some more at a later time, but that seems to be it for now.

And the fuckin' Bird a few days before that, too. I chalk it up to Galatea's mum being our mum, and by the looks of it she likes sex in February. Or something.

Well, I figured I'd lose, as the match made no sense to me, so I jobbed in case Carnage didn't show. But, I liked the whole Funyon-as-Don King stuff, so here it is. Smarkdown returns from a commercial and the multitude of cameras pan around the arena, showcasing such signs as “EBONY HEARTS LADY SASQUATCH!” and “SILENCER > SILENT” before stopping in front of Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet. “Welcome back to Smarkdown! We’re about a week away from Ashes to Ashes, but that doesn’t mean we’re slacking off!” Comet exclaims. “Yes it does. We’ve only got three matches scheduled, one of which has already taken place. That’s some high quality slack, right there,” Riley says, leaning back in his chair in a manner that would make any member of a labor union proud. “Well, regardless of that, we’ve got an interesting match right now as Andrea Montgomery takes on the current Hardcore Gamers champion, Carnage, in a non-title match, but under hardcore rules. If she wins, Andrea will join the current number one contender in facing Carnage at Ashes to Ashes with the belt on the line. However, if Carnage comes out victorious, he’ll only have one opponent for the Pay Per View,” Comet states. “Is it just me, or does that make no sense? I mean, if Andrea wins, and I’m not saying that she’ll be able to, just speculating, she has to face Carnage again at Ashes to Ashes. And should she escape with a win there, Carnage will most likely invoke his rematch clause, so Andrea Montgomery and Carnage could possibly face each other three times in the span of about two weeks,” Riley says. “Very true, Robert, but as you said, that’s all dependent on whether or not Andrea Montgomery defeats Carnage here tonight. And Funyon is in the ring, so let’s get this match started!” Comet shouts. The lights drop down, plunging the arena into pitch blackness. Suddenly, an explosion on the stage brings light flooding back in a blinding flash. No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” starts up on the speakers as Andrea and Zutroy come from behind the curtain and make their way down the ramp. “Ladies and most gentle of men, the following exhibition of pugilism is scheduled for a single fall, during which neither hold nor object shall be barred. Introducing first, from the coastal city of Biloxi located in the magnolia state of Mississippi, she is accompanied by her much respected sibling and former Smartmarks Wrestling Federation grappler, Zutroy Montgomery, and weighing in at the svelte one hundred, forty-three pounds, the female who’s fleet of foot, the dame with the damaging DDT known as Done and Dusted, ANDREA MONTGOMERY!” Funyon shouts, perhaps still portraying Don King from last night. Andrea slides under the ring and stands tall as the fans cheer her on. “That was quite the verbose introduction by Funyon,” Comet says. “Yeah,” Riley adds. The lights dim and white fog envelops the stage as Drowning Pool’s “Bodies” comes to life. Carnage steps from behind the curtain, HCG title on his shoulder, and a baseball bat wrapped with barbed wire in his hand. “And now, her most paranoiac of adversaries. He hails from the most esoterically clandestine location simply referred to as Parts Unknown and tips the scales at a stocky three hundred, seven pounds. He is currently the possessor of the Hardcore Gamers championship belt which will be defended in a similar regulation free gladiatoriolus at the extravaganza event known as Ashes to Ashes that requires payment prior to surveyance. He also has earned the right to engage the World Heavyweight champion in a fracas for the aforementioned title. He is the masked madman, the muscular maniac, user of the terrifying Tombstone piledriver, CARNAGE!” Funyon shouts. Carnage slowly climbs the ring steps and steps between the top and middle ropes. He casually slides the belt from his shoulder and tosses it into a corner. Referee Heywood Jablome, not forced to search for foreign objects, simply calls for the bell. DING! DING! DING! Carnage rushes Andrea and takes a wild swing that she easily ducks under. Just as he’s turning around, Carnage eats a jumping spin kick on the jaw. She quickly fires off another kick, this one hitting Carnage on the wrist, loosening his grip on the bat. Hoping to turn the tide in her favor, Andrea lashes out with another kick for Carnage’s hand, forcing him to drop the bat. She scoops it up and swings in one fluid motion, but Carnage manages to grab the bat along the handle just below the barbed wire. Knowing she can’t overpower him, Drea lets go of the weapon, and as he raises it above his head, she slides into his legs, knocking the big man to the mat. “Andrea Montgomery is going to have a tough time in this match. Carnage is stronger than her, pretty much every wrestler in the federation is, but he’s not a lumbering big man. He’s got some speed to him, obviously not enough to match Andrea, but enough that coupled with his power, can be very dangerous,” Comet points out. “She’d just better grab a weapon, any weapon, and put it to good use early and often,” Riley states. Andrea turns to her brother, asking for some kind of help, and he promptly ducks his head under the apron in search of weaponry. He pulls out a two-by-four and tosses it into the ring just as Carnage is picking himself off the mat. The board sails over Drea’s head and slams into Carnage’s, knocking him back down. Taking what she’s been dealt, Andrea rolls Carnage over and makes the cover. ONE! TWO...NO! Carnage kicks out violently, and Andrea goes flying. He gets to his feet and drags Montgomery up as well. Grabbing her shoulders, he slams a knee into her stomach, doubling Andrea over. He bends, too, wraps his arms around her waist and straightens up, lifting her off the mat. He drops to one knee while flipping Andrea down, driving her shoulder into his knee. “Montgomery almost got a two count after Zutroy zipped that board into Carnage’s cranium, but the masked man retaliates with a shoulder breaker,” Comet calls. That’s way too much alliteration. Carnage stands, pulls Drea up by her hair, and sends her stumbling forward with a forearm to her back. She doesn’t go far, however, as Carnage cinches in a rear waistlock and arches his back, slamming her into the mat with a German suplex. He contemplates pressing his advantage, but the board catches his eye. He picks up the two by four and cradles it like a baseball bat, waiting for Andrea to get off the mat. She slowly climbs back to her feet, Carnage takes a swing, but Andrea ducks just in time and the piece of lumber whistles just inches over her head. He cocks the board back for another try, but she leaps towards him, legs coiled, and slams into Carnage’s torso. “Looked like a monkey flip attempt from Andrea Montgomery, but it was some sort of compact dropkick,” Comet says. “And you completely forgot about Carnage’s German suplex, and the fact that he most likely would have ended this match had he connected with that two by four,” Riley points out. “Well, I’m not in the business of calling ‘would haves’ and ‘what ifs’ Bobby. We could sit here all day talking about how a match would have turned out if someone hit this move and the like,” Comet retorts. Carnage staggers backwards, but floors Andrea with an elbow to the head. He walks towards a corner, props the board against the turnbuckles, and heads back towards Montgomery. He lifts her up, whips her to the buckles, and charges in after her. Andrea chances a look backwards, and nimbly walks up the plank and drops to the ring apron, not without first slamming her hands onto the board, sending it into Carnage’s jaw. The masked man stumbles back, and Drea grabs the top rope, springs onto it, and flies off, catching him in a front facelock and spiraling to the mat. “Springboard tornado DDT on Carnage after Andrea Montgomery played a little teeter-totter in the corner!” Comet exclaims. “I think you mean see-saw, but that board caught Carnage right under the chin. That can’t be good for the orthodontics,” Riley states. Drea makes a cover and Jablome slides in to count. ONE! TWO! T...NO! Carnage gets a shoulder up, and Andrea is already back on her feet. She fires off two quick kicks to the head before the Hardcore Gamers champ can completely sit up, and she sends him back to a supine position with a dropkick. Drea scrambles over, picks up Carnage’s baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, and walks back towards the masked menace. She swings for his head, but Carnage’s hands shoot up and the gloves provide some protection against the cutting wire for his skin. Carnage begins pushing the bat away from himself while sitting up. He reaches his feet, wrests the bat from Drea’s hands, and drills her in the stomach with the handle. He readjusts his grip and swings the bat into her head, dropping the Mississippi cruiser. “Carnage back in control of this match with a shot from his barbed wire wrapped baseball bat. Andrea Montgomery is at a serious disadvantage in this match, as her style doesn’t seem to mesh well with hardcore rules,” Comet says. “That’s odd, because Wildchild, another cruiserweight, was a very dominant Hardcore Gamers champion. Andrea needs to find a way to implement some weapons into her standard offense. Perhaps a DDT onto a steel chair, or some Grind Sessions with a kendo sword. Otherwise, she doesn’t have a chance in this setting,” Riley adds. Carnage hefts the bat once more, ready to land a crushing blow, but he stops and turns his head. A low rumbling is coming from all around the arena. It’s getting louder and louder, and Carnage slowly lowers the bat, wondering what is coming next. Suddenly, a figure repels down from the rafters and lands just outside the ring. The crowd cheers for the local hero, as the mysterious figure happens to be a Sasquatch! Ripping the harness from his hirsute body, the yard ape (If Tom Flesher said it, it’s got to be true!) slides into the ring and slams an ape-like fist into Carnage’s head. The masked madman reels back, composes himself, and swings for the Bigfoot. The beast ducks, picks Carnage off the mat, and slams him into the canvas. “Holy crap! It’s Big-quatch! Sas-foot! A Yeti!” Comet shouts. “And he’s administering a beating to Carnage. Andrea Montgomery might have just gotten saved. She’d just better hope that this wood ape chooses not to go after her,” Riley states. Sasquatch nimbly leaps to the top turnbuckle and thumps his chest in a display of power and aggression. However, that display gives Carnage time to recover, and the Hardcore Gamers champion scoops up his dropped baseball bat and takes a swing for the yard ape’s back. A howl of pain accompanies the blow, and Carnage simply strikes again, the barbed wire finding flesh through the thick layers of hair. Sasquatch hops down and takes a swing for Carnage, but he manages to duck and slam the bat into the belly of the beast. Carnage straightens the Sasquatch up with a knee to the face, and clotheslines it over the top rope. The yard ape tries to reenter the ring, but Carnage swings his bat, forcing the Sasquatch to hop backwards. It circles around the ring while Carnage follows on the inside, bat ready to drive the beast back. “And it looks like Carnage has restored order to this match and is keeping Sasquatch at bay with that bat. However, I’m pretty sure that he would not fair that well in a fair fight,” Comet says. “Of course not! It’s an animal! Do you think Todd Cortez should fight a bear or something? Hey, that’s a pretty good idea. I’ll have to bring it up to the commissioner,” Riley states. Knowing it to be defeated, Sasquatch lopes towards the rigging it came down on and quickly climbs up the rope. Hearing movement behind him, Carnage wheels around and brings the bat down on Andrea Montgomery’s skull, dropping her and putting a crack in the bat. “My goodness! Carnage nearly broke that bat over Andrea Montgomery’s head! She might be out cold, and unless big brother Zutroy can intervene, this match will go to Carnage,” Comet notes. “I have to agree with you, Comet. Carnage is in full control of this match, which looks to be about over. That is, unless the Loch Ness Monster decides to make an appearance or something,” Riley adds. Carnage drops the bat, heads to a corner and picks up his Hardcore Gamers title. He drops it in the center of the ring and pulls Andrea up by the hair, which is just beginning to get matted with blood. He quickly scoops her up and places her upside down on his shoulder as the fans slowly realize what he’s planning. “This is too much! Andrea Montgomery is already out cold thanks to that barbed wire wrapped baseball bat Carnage used, but he’s going to hit the Tombstone piledriver!” Comet shouts, indignant. “On his Hardcore Gamers title belt, no less! That’s just great. True mark of a champion and a winner. Don’t let up until the match is over. He’s just adding a bit of insurance with this,” Riley says. Carnage shifts Andrea slightly so he’s got his arms around her unmoving body, but he loosens his grip a bit so she slips down, putting her in a dangerous situation. “No...he let her slide down so her neck will compress even more than usual...” Comet says in disbelief. “That’s what former World Heavyweight champion Rane used to do! Of course, he called it the Acid Rane, but it’s the same move, and still as deadly,” Riley adds. The faintest resemblance of a smile can be seen behind Carnage’s mask as he drops to his knees, driving Andrea Montgomery’s head into the belt. He lets go and makes a cover as Heywood Jablome gets to his knees in order to make the count, which just so happens to be academic in this instance. ONE! TWO! THREE! Jablome rises to his feet and calls for the bell. DING! DING! DING! “I have just been informed from the most esteemed referee for this brutal clash, that the current Hardcore Gamers champion and number one contender for the World Heavyweight title currently being held by the egomaniacal Englishman, the boastful Brit, the Straight-Edge Sensation and leader of Revolution Zero, Toxxic, the masked maniac, the purveyor of piledrivers, the crazed camel clutcher, Carnage, has defeated the Mississippi missile, the comely cruiserweight, the single white female of the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation, Andrea Montgomery by pinning her shoulders to the mat inside the squared circle for a count of three, which was administered by the aforementioned Heywood Jablome!” Funyon states as “Bodies” starts playing again. “That was just brutal! Carnage had no right to use the Tombstone piledriver at all since Andrea Montgomery was knocked unconscious, let alone on the title belt or dropping her lower,” Comet says. “Well, that might be true, but all I know is that it got him the victory, and that means he’s got one less challenger at Ashes to Ashes for his Hardcore Gamers belt,” Riley says. Carnage pushes Drea off of his belt, picks it up and heads back up the ramp as Smarkdown heads to a commercial.

Look out, Boz! Okay, back to the regularly scheduled topic...

Happy birthday Rayn-Man! Hope you get plenty of red vests today.

You fool! You foolish fool! I said Sarah took the photo, which means she shopified it.

Recently, two SWF greats met for a photo shoot. Here it is, folks, Tom Flesher and Terrence "Janus" Bailey. Special thanks to Mistress DaviSarahJackieSean for taking the picture.

As did mine prior to the cutting, G-Spot. Speaking of which, where are you? Nobody seems to be able to find you. Oh, and the public (Or at least I am) is clamoring for more Guy Lombardo Bridge! I don't have much time left to be a screaming teenager freaking out over a band.

Not any more, as I cut about 18 inches off a while back and have no new photos. Oh, and what was that crazy British (Or maybe Welsh?) stuff you posted in for Supes?

He should. Doesn't he mark for everyone?

You're who again? Beezel? Iceman? Edit: So, did you really flip out and shit like Thoth said, who got it from Dong Longer?

*ring ring* "Hello? Is Charlie Matthews there? This is 'Grand Slam' Mark Stevens of the SWF wishing him a happy birthday!" Happy birthdizzle Supes.

Weather Report's pretty good. Parliament. Clinton rocks. Sly and the Family Stone have some stuff from the 70s, too. I think...