The Czech Republic

Watch the fuck out, Comedy Central: Dustin Hermanson. Hey, forget taking Kyle Farnsworth all the way out to the Quad Cities, that wastes gas. Can we just drop him off outside Comiskey?

I liked when the NBA used an Elvis song in there commericals a year or two back and had Vlade Divac dance about. Almost as good as the NBA on TNT commercials where Vlade played the sax. Now that's how they should promote the NBA, they need more Vlade in their commercials. Foreigners doing things are just plain funny. See also: Muresan, Gheorges; Nowitski, Dirk

Not gonna happen. Nomar resigning and the slim chance of dumping Sosa solidifies that. He's gonna be New York-bound, if he goes anywhere else. I'm fine with that as long as he gets the hell out of the NL Central. I would like to see the Cubs go after a good outfielder, though, since there is a hole in leftfield at the moment. If not, I guess it's hello Jason Dubois. Honestly, their pen needs the most work. The tools for the offense are all there, it's just a matter of the dumb fucks in charge knowing how to utilize them. I'm still optimistic. After all, I'm a Cubs fan. And I know that he'll be out of the NL Central if he's not on the North Side: Houston is ruled out by its roof, St. Louis by its payroll constraints, and the other three by common fucking sense. He should do the right thing and come to Chicago. Also, we should take Kyle Farnsworth, drive out to, oh, I don't know, the Quad Cities, and leave him there.

Have the Cubs even made a formal offer to Carlos Beltran yet? This is getting silly. We need him in the outfield.

Yes.

Indeed. Slayer: Send me a million entrance themes

You wouldn't know quality if it fucked you up the ass, INXS. You the worst poster that types more than OMG ROCKY~!. You suck at everything.

My math teacher from freshman year was so morbidly obese, it was scary.

I WANT A WAFFLE HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS

Liar. That is quite possibly the best song to be running over people with in Vice City. Liar. That honor goes to anything on Esperanto. On my MP3 station I like "Valerie" by Steve Winwood.

"So you want me to show you around the office?" "Sure, I'd love to." "Okay, this is Matt, he's in charge of media relations. This is Chris from fan services. And this is Rick from post-production. Oh and there's Bob, he's our hired goon."

Maybe her hair will be named #1 contender and they'll wrestle

Hopefully not Patrick Spoons

Wow, you've got Crucifixio Jones, Gheyme, Choken One, Marney, New Me...talk about your TSM graveyard.

That doesn't sound enjoyable at all.

Tony Womack is about to become the new Kenny Lofton.

I think I'll get some for my yard!

Well she lost it now. Get rid of it, as the division is Molly, Victoria, Trish, and Lita. Watching Stacy try to wrestle is like watching me try to operate a cell phone. Maria is a nice girl, and we shouldn't try to make her wrestle. Candace is probably just some stripper chick. Christy can't survive in a division where the hair pull is a staple of the moveset. EDIT: Unless she's like those lizards that sever their tails when you catch them and run away, in which she could no-sell the hair pull because she wouldn't be going along with the hair. Money in the bank. Also, the Women's Championship should explode and turn into a star child.

Just another strike against World Wrestling Entertainment calling itself a legitimate "integrated media entity" or whatever buzzword permutation they have going. Like a real company says "yeah that guy screwed up, rough him up a little." It's a step up from the mob.

What was he doing that was bugging you? He didn't do anything out of the ordinary to me. Of course the ordinary for him makes me want to murder. I dunno man, I just had some weird epiphany like "This man is not fit to broadcast games."

It's so refreshing to see Moises Alou no longer affiliated with the team, too bad he dragged Steve Stone down with him

Oh thank goodness, the Cardinals keep Matt Morris. I mean that.

That's a horrible rotation.

Scott Van Pelt just did the Baseball Tonight Update chime. That kidder.

I thought Whataburger was strictly Texas and In-n-Out was strictly California. Culver's is Wisconsin and Illinois as far as I know.