Nighthawk

You know, even gay men don't usually have a problem seeing naked women, it just doesn't particularly interest them. And straight women usually don't mind seeing other women naked either. The only ones who have a problem with nudity at all are "straight" men in regards to other men. Bunch of faggots.

I've noticed a lot of people seem to be enjoying female vocalists around now. It's affected me a little, too, but it's still pretty scattershot, covering many different genres. Still, I couldn't help but notice how fucking strange it was that I would listen to like, L7. Or even Poe. That was the chick that sang "Angry Johnny", and by the way, I don't care for that particular song.

She's the victim now!

Really? I remember pictures of the crocodile in Fangoria long before the movie came out. In any case, Lake Placid was about a pretty big crocodile. This thing is as big as a skyscraper. I'm sort of at the point where I don't really care what it is any more, as long as it's really big and fucks shit up. I enjoy getting excited about something... payoff inconsequential. It could be the marshmallow man for all I care. Actually, that'd be pretty sweet...

Say, speaking of absolutely nothing, if anybody knows where I can find the picture of that mean faced little girl that Inc had as his avatar a long time ago, I'd like to have it.

If I knew her actual birthday, I'd jerk off on a picture of her like she always wanted, since I actually have a camera now. Now that I've seen her new pictures, though, I'm a little disappointed. There's not very many, and I could only jerk off to like, four of them. There's a nice closeup of her face I can glaze, though. Hey Leena, if you read this, send me your old pictures too. I lost most of them.

Nobody wants to help Britney, except me. Milky cares, and don't nobody else care.

Man, fuck Dr. Phil... should be quite a show, though. Fun fact: Dr. Phil tops my list of celebrities I would like to murder, above Pete Wentz and the Pope.

Part of me hopes she does, so I can justify getting a portrait of her tattooed on myself. Part of me hopes she doesn't, because she's a human being with family and friends, who has consistently entertained me for nearly ten years.

Yes, it was an intentional parody. I had initially asked for "is a cunt", and the first responder (tekcop) took it upon himself to amend it to "has a cunt", which I thought was actually funnier. I also have this one: luke-o made one too, but it was way too big for me to post.

I don't have a comeback for that.

You're really pretty stupid to challenge me over that one. This reminds me of the time I entered a rap battle, performed "Baby Got Back" and was derided for stealing it from the donkey in Shrek. Good call, though, KKC. I do sort of like it. I'm a pretty big Louis CK fan and all.

Yeah, you've got to think progressive. Like this band I'm in, Silence = Death. I'm the only member, I don't sing or play any instruments, I never record or perform, have no songs, and in fact do absolutely nothing. It's a pretty kickass band.

That's kind of the point, though.

I object to the nearly universal usage of the term "just jealous". Just jealous? When I'm jealous, I'm not solely or minimally jealous, I'm fucking jealous. Accuse me of being jealous without being condescending. Jealousy is a powerful emotion.

Playboy isn't porn. It's tasteful nudes. Pleasant to look at, but I wouldn't jerk off to it. Like nudity in mainstream films. Nice to have, but not smut. I don't subscribe, but I buy Playboy and Penthouse semi regularly. For the articles. Seriously. I do subscribe to Hustler (and also the National Enquirer and MAD), because it's like $10 an issue if you don't, it's really massive savings. While I could probably jerk off to Hustler, I mainly read it because it makes me laugh. MAD I don't like anymore, but I've had a subscription most of my life... old habits die hard, I suppose.

You both have some weird taste. Not in a "What in the fuck?" type of way, but in a vague "Huh?" type of way.

It's possible. I don't really remember if I knew or not. So many underage kids call me, you know...

Who has a cunt? Yeah, you damn right.

Actually I was just quoting an Adam Sandler routine, meaning that we've reached a point where you say "Well, that's understandable." and quickly hustle someone out of your office. One of those references for my own benefit. I suppose I can still talk about it, because I did eat my neighbor's shit, meaning weed, several times. It was this girl who used to have me buy her alcohol and pay me back in weed. She was always amazed that I'd eat these huge buds dry and not even wash them down, and it was unpleasant, I'll admit. Eventually I got bored with the weed, and demanded that she pay me for buying alcohol with weed and whatever panties she was wearing at the time. I never actually ate shit, like real shit, except maybe from rimming someone who wasn't totally clean. I'm pretty sure if I ever did, I'd have to have this scat session outdoors, to lessen the permeation of the smell.

One time I ate my neighbor's shit.

Poor dear.

A gimmick which has been done more than a few times, but I give them credit: a lot of those are pretty clever. Speaking of goofy song titles, I was watching swap.avi again the other day, and it got me think about the song "Shit Body Painting" by the excellent Putrid Pile, because they actually do that in the movie. I should score that scene to the song, and project that onto my ceiling 24/7, like the rappers do with Scarface.

I often tell potheads to "smoke some fucking crack, you pussy". See, it is a gateway drug.

I can say one good thing about It's Pat: Ween is in it.