Nighthawk

Maybe she just likes pictures of herself? If I had the money, I'd commission a giant portrait of me in sitting in a gothic mansion, holding a glass of brandy. I've got a picture of me without a shirt on the wall.

The new LiveFastDie single, "Do I Look Like A Bank To You" is fucking awesome. I love every single thing about that band. Look at that jumpsuit. In fact, here's their myspace, you can listen to the song.

Actually I'm going to say she's the most attractive person to use their own picture, except Leena. NoCal Mike looks like Genghis Khan, and Matt Young looks like me before a hard night. But I look like a different person in every picture, so I'm not saying I'm not hot, because I am. Strangers make out with me. And there's also the guy who licks Jericho, and he looks like Private fucking Pyle. Anybody else?

God, you guys are mean. I do think girls should show their tits more in general. What's it going to hurt? It's not like I won't show you whatever of mine you want to see. I also agree with Dave Chappelle that it should be socially acceptable to compliment women on their tits.

He's a good writer and director, fuck you. His problem is inexperience. I am both looking forward to Halloween, and petrified that it will suck. His problem is doing shit terribly overblown, like Michael Myers is eight feet tall and everything. He's learning, though. Regarding Saw, I actually like 2 the best.

I can actually talk my way out of tickets pretty good. Just be funny, that works. Ed Kemper talked his way out of situations when he had dead teenage hitchhikers in his trunk. That's a level goddamn head. Never been pulled over when I was drunk, though, that probably wouldn't work. Now I know some people are like "Anyone who ever drives drunk should die.", but look, it's not that bad. It's usually four in the morning, it's not like I'm getting liquored up and driving through a school zone at three in the afternoon. I don't do it anymore, though. I used to take turns with whoever I was with, when one person started to pass out, we'd pull over and switch. One thing about drunk driving I'll tell you is that it's wildly fun. We're usually just basically yelling "Look at us! We're gonna die! We're completely hammered and driving away! This is the worst thing ever!" It's kind of like having unprotected sex with someone you just met. Sick thrills.

Yeah, they're both Latin based. I don't give a flying fuck about any language besides English, but I can assure you he is right. I can pretty much speak French and Spanish, and like I say, I don't give a flying fuck. Actually, that's not true, I would love to learn Japanese. pbone, you can teach me that if we did ever meet up.

I've gotten drunk at 7 AM before. I had this theory see, that it didn't matter what time it was. If I'm drunk at 7 AM and sober all night, who cares?

Yes, buy that fucking shirt! That shirt is awesome.

A threesome, yeah, as long as you made out with them both. That actually sounds hot, man. Consenting, no, they are seriously two people. If one wants to do something, she can. Watch Todd Browning's Freaks, there's a scene about exactly this. A guy is in love with one half of some Siamese Twins chicks, and proposes, and the other half is sitting there reading a book. It's none of her god damn beeswax. And I think actual twins sort of develop that role with each other. But when the chick says yes, they can get married, they hug, and the other twin sort of looks skyward and puts her book down and feels good. Actually, scene of the movie there, and it's a good, weird movie. In sum: Siamese twins are legitimately two different people and we should treat them as such. I think the fact that I don't ask her that is much of why we're such good friends. Sure, it's ok to talk about porn filth, but I know the line. I think if I was legitimately in porn, she would totally bang me. It'd be gross too, and she'd totally be dominant. I'm a total masochist.

That's actually a really interesting question, and I can't answer it. I expect it's... everything that happens when you take LSD besides the visuals, but the visuals are such an important part of it that I can't imagine. I will find a blind bum and shove acid into his mouth to discover this. Reminds me of the Bible story where Jesus spits on the ground and rubs the mud into the blind man's eyes, and he says "I see people. They look like trees walking around." So Jesus rubs some more mud into his eyes and he says "I CAN SEE!" Mud made from Jesus spit is some bad stuff. Mess you up.

I hope that was a slam on me spending thousands of dollars on shoes, and not a slam on Circle Jerks, because they rock. In keeping with my fetish, this is my favorite pair of shoes: Actually, it's a tie between those and my standard black Doc Marten 1460s. Those are my do anything boots, and I will walk through just about anything. But those Adios are awesome, and get comments from strangers. Usually of a "Where did you get those?" variety. The answer is zappos.com, I buy most of my shoes there. Those have gotten comments too, including "Your shoes are upsetting my epilepsy."

There's a new kind of Full Throttle. It's called Full Throttle Mother (as in "nature is one bad"). Green can. The flavor is acai berry. It's sort of... almost good, but a little too woodsy. It tastes minty or spicy, and you have to remind yourself that it's a berry flavor. I'm a huge huge fan of energy drinks, I'll try anything I haven't seen before, but their marketing is insanely stupid. Nature is one bad mother? Fuck you. I saw it in a liquor store. Liquor stores always have weird shit that nobody else has. I've still never seen the Monster M-80 anywhere but liquor stores. That one's some sort of tropical juice blend. My all time favorite energy drink is Amp Overdrive.

I have over twenty pairs of shoes. I seriously think it might be a fetish. I dunno... I'm about to buy a new pair too. Licensed Circle Jerks Vans... how can I not buy those?

That's what I thought about Marilyn Manson and Slayer.

I've got a serious problem. I don't think I can listen to "Like A Prayer" without crying anymore. It's like kryptonite; when I start acting a fool, play Madonna on a boombox over your head like John Cusack in Say Anything and I'll weep.

Fracas. The other opening band was Teenage Harlets, who were actually really good. If anybody wants to listen to local bands from places they aren't from (I do that), try them.

I don't miss school at all. I kind of wish I went to boarding school, though. Seems like it would have been more fun.

I'm pleased to report that Dino is even crazier in real life than he seems on film. I chatted with him a little. Talked about Jimi Hendrix. Once he stripped naked, they let him introduce the band members. Before he did that, he did this crazy high pitched shriek, like "UUUUUUUUURWHOOOO!" Ten times. Then he fondled his balls and introduced the lineup, referring to himself as "GG Allin". When the band was done, they left the stage, and Dino proceeded to stick his drumsticks up his ass, then took them out and went into The Lick. Most people just wandered away. Didn't stop him. I wanted a picture with him, but realized that I should have asked before the show, because I didn't want to get too close to him while he was sweaty and naked. Seeing him live, though, the guy is really rad. I sort of love him too. He's so delicate. There's the tiniest window of society where a person like Dino can function and be happy, and he's living it. PS, Merle Allin is the coolest guy ever.

One of the bands that opened for the Murder Junkies sounded like, I swear, Lil Jon fronting the Misfits. Once I said it out loud, everybody was like "Yes, that's exactly it." It was an interesting sound. The guy said "YEAH-UH!" a lot.

I do think that's ok, although I don't particularly experience it myself. I mean, usually an ex is an ex because there was some sort of falling out. You usually feel bad. Revenge is a natural emotion, there's often no escaping it. It's why guys kill their exes. But you know, we can be mature. But sometimes the world takes our revenge for us. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. If you don't care one way or the other, either you didn't care all that much about them in the first place, or the breakup just went really smoothly. Basically, if you shouldn't care, you won't. One of my favorite stories of breaking up came when we went out to eat, and proceeded to sit in silence for like ten minutes. We hadn't been fighting or anything. Then I break the silence with "This isn't working out." and she says "No it isn't. "Well, you still want to eat?" "Sure." and then we talked, while we were eating. Just chatted. I still don't really get it.

The songs, for the record, were: "I Get Wet" "Pictures of You" "Do It" "Like A Prayer"

Well, hip hop is an entire genre. It's like saying "I used to listen to jazz." There's millions of variations. But there is a standard reason for this. To give some background, I've gone through a lot of phases of what kind of music I listen to, before coming to this point where I listen to everything. I've gone through the indie phase, the death metal phase, the electronic phase, and many more. But the constant is that while I'm listening to that, I listen to rap too. It's just always been there. (By the way, I say rap, not hip hop. Hip hop is a culture, rap is the music. Plus hip hop sounds like something a rabbit listens to.) People sometimes outgrow rap. It is a very juvenile type of music, largely, which is much of the point the movie Baby Boy made. The whole "I constantly fuck women and have a lot of money." thing gets old. Since rap is lyrically based, the content makes much more of a difference. For example, my all time favorite album is Appetite For Destruction, which I can't relate to at all anymore. Doesn't matter, cause it sounds great. Today, I often have to remind myself to listen to rap. I get focused on these very specific subgenres and say "Oh yeah, rap is happening too. Listen to that." The fact that local rappers often stand outside the record store and hustle cds they burned themselves helps. I'll give 'em a few bucks. And you know what? Sometimes it isn't bad. Keeps me real with the streets, nigga. I lived on the street most recently about four months ago, and that's what was going down. Keeping that shit real. Now, a lot of the connection I have to rap comes with the fact that I actually lived in the ghetto they describe. As a young white person from England, I'm pretty sure you didn't. So living these fantasies vicariously can run its course. However, you may want to try getting into more conscious rap. You know, KMD, Mos Def, whatever. It may reinterest you. Although a lot of that's really political, too. Short answer: You can't relate to it and grew out of it.

Ok, time to add another to the list of musicians I've cried over. Last night I got pretty drunk and wept over Madonna. So it's Andrew WK, the Cure, Spice Girls... Madonna. I just want to gaybash myself.

I'm going to see GG's last band, the Murder Junkies, tonight. GG's brother Merle plays bass, and he's one of those guys who is shockingly down to Earth and normal, yet does a shit ton of weird stuff. He's one of my myspace friends, and one of the best bulletins I ever got was him saying "Send me your bloodiest, most disgusting tampons. I need them for a project I'm working on. Whoever sends the filthiest, worst tampon gets to be in my top friends!" No words on what the project was. Just Merle needs disgusting tampons. But the real loon in that band is the drummer, Dino. He plays nude, for one thing. But seriously, GG was very volatile and hostile, but compared to Dino, totally had a tight grip on reality. To quote part of Hated... "Dino, the naked drummer? Dino believes he is immortal. He believes he is free of all law. He believes he is telepathically connected to the Lunachicks, and he believes that they love him. Dino did time for exposing himself to a little girl. Dino exposed his schwing to a nine year old girl, did time for it, and then later, when asked about it, said 'Oh, I was just teasing her.'" This was him when he was playing with GG: (Aside: that looks like the awesomest place ever.) This is him today: He's had that look for years now. Caption it. Friend of mine who's going to the show with me riffed on this picture for like 45 minutes. "He looks like Yosemite Sam." "He's the Joker's abusive uncle." "Birthplace: Axis Chemicals. Makeup by: Acme" "He just jerked off a space alien." "He went bobbing for apples in a tub of watercolors." And so on. He's actually a really good drummer. His signature is a 30 minute solo he calls The Lick. It's entertaining. For the entire 30 minutes. Also, he is a bike messenger when he's not drumming. Picture that guy coming up like "Here's your mail!" Totally makes sense. I own that dvd. Takes a special kind of person to read that synopsis and say "Yeah, I gotta see that!" With Merle Allin in 1994. I'm hangin' out with these guys tonight! I'm so excited!