Nighthawk

Bump my thread for that. Please.

Yes, that is what he does. To me.

Man, you're showing yourself a lot these days. You used to be all secretive about it.

Oh, it's fine. People like that keep it interesting.

B-B-B-Busted!

That was so humorously facetious it ceased being so. It's literal. It's LITERAL!

Sometimes I think I should fuck my mother, because, hey, most people don't get a chance to, and we probably all secretly want to. Also I could call myself a motherfucker will total accuracy. Should I give it a try?

But you not being smarter than me causes many problems in my personal life. I'm always telling my bitches about my problems and they say "We're tired of hearing about this. Isn't there anyone smarter than you on the internet you could ask instead?" And I have to say no.

I have a question... if you're so smart, why aren't you smarter than me?

He's not better than me.

All four of them, actually. I saw one of those guys doing a hardware commercial not too long ago. I mean, that's just a waste.

But what if it's a risk you're illing to take? Here in Florida, they decided to run some ads to intimidate you into wearing it. All the cops in these commercials are black, and everyone being pulled over is white, so you can see what they're trying to do. They open with a shot of a mean looking trooper walking up to the car, seen in the side mirror. "We're cracking down." Another cop gives the crazy black guy stare to the camera "Florida is serious. We're GOING to save lives."

I'm about as big a David Cross fan as you'll find, but people usually either love him or don't know who he is. But that reminds me, Bob Odenkirk. He was totally overshadowed by Cross, but he is damn good.

As far as the old timers, I'm more of an Errol Flynn fan myself.

They apparently care about you killing yourself now. Hence these fascist seatbelt laws.

Only live acting performance that wasn't on ILC I've seen Tommy Davidson in was Booty Call, which I liked. That's where I get it from. He was in Ace Ventura 2 for a minute... I can't really judge, I hate the movie in general.

Spank you.

O & H ran for 14 years.

Well, it's not the longest running show in the history of television.

Those are all characters I perform as, except Da Fat Kid, which is my brother. Kloraform is the shock rapper. Here, I'll do a child molestation rap in Kloraform style: The other day my daughter came to visit Told her I had a present, she’s like “Wha is it?” I said that she should wait and see Meet me in the backyard, under the willow tree I took her teddy bear and placed it over my dick Said “Mr. Pookie got a surprise fo ya, come quick.” She’s again all “Wha is it?” I’m like “Bitch, hurry up and suck this dick.” She looked at me and was surprised. So I stuck it in her mouth fast before she could cry She got scared and piss began to dribble down her thigh I was like “Hail yeeeeah.” Kicked back and started pulling on her hair Up and down, all around on my dick she was bobbin Nothin around but the sound of her slurpin and her sobbin I felt my nut comin on So I pulled her off the dick, pushed her back on the lawn And I spread her legs wide Her pussy seemed too small for me to fit, but I tried She was screamin and yellin I was pushin and shoving like I had a warm watermelon She was acting like she couldn’t take it I grabbed hold of her neck, began to shake it Then she lay quiet and still so I could nut But my dick was still hard, so I fucked her in the BUTT I was thinking maybe I should have video taped it I got some homies pay to see my daughter’s cunt and how I raped it I smacked her around, to see if she could go another round But the bitch didn’t move and didn’t make a sound I was like “Oh shit, I killed the bitch.” She had died. Figured maybe if I shook her around, she would look alive So I got the camera, fucked her, jiggled her body like she wasn’t dead Then I cut the bitch up with an ax Took her down and buried her by the train tracks But I kept her head and put some makeup on her face If I want another blowjob, it’s under my bed in a pillow case Eh, that probably went on too long.

Maybe I'll write one later. I am a real rapper. See: That's me.

I should acknowledge that I didn't write that rap I posted. It was by Dice, from the song "Bitches Hate Me" off Mastamind's Lickkuiddrano album, also featuring Esham.

Oh man, I like most of those songs... That's fucked up.

The list was right there...