Corey_Lazarus

Definitely Universal. Even if they got rid of the AWESOME Ghostbusters show, and apparently did away with Back to the Future (which the wait always sucked for, but the ride was always worth it). I hear good things about the Spider-Man ride, the Jaws ride is fun, and the Men in Black ride (if still there, haven't been there since I was 12 or 13) is fucking BOSS. Islands of Adventure I remember for two things: the Hulk coaster (which is probably the best steel coaster I've ever been on), and the Dudley Do-Right flume. I don't even remember why I like the Dudley Do-Right flume, I just remember it being a lot more fun than any flume ride should be.

I used to work at the local Bob's Store. For those that don't know, Bob's is a primarily Northeastern US chain of apparel stores. They claim to specialize in sports apparel, shoes, and men's clothing attire, but every Bob's I've been to has the same amount of shoe choices as your average Wal-Mart, and less sports apparel than a Wal-Mart or a Target. They do have a decent selection of men's clothing, but again: there's better at Wal-Mart. Bob's is, essentially, a yuppie K-Mart, but they do have a decent selection of working gear, like Dickies and Carhartt and such. When I got the job the store wasn't even finished being put together yet (it was going into the same place where an Ames was before, and I worked at that Ames before it went out of business), and as a part of the morning shipping/receiving/stock crew, it was part of my job to help put the store together. That part was easy. Putting together fixtures, placing out the store as to the specifications of management and the "art department" (ie. store lay-out for maximum annoyance), getting in product before the store ever opened its doors...it was fucking sweet. I actually loved my job, outside of having to get up for a 6am shift that lasted anywhere from 10a to occasionally 3p. Then the shipping manager, Fred, switched stores to go work at another Bob's that just opened. Enter the former shipping manager of the Framingham Bob's: Missy. Missy was a fucking cunt right from the get-go. I introduced myself to her, as did the rest of my crew, and all she told us was that we weren't allowed to bring our coffees onto the dock, that I needed a new hoodie (I had a Slayer hoodie on at the time, and all it had was the band's logo on it with sword graphics down the sleeves), and that the entire backstock area was going to be overhauled. After 3 months of a decent part-time job that gave me enough money (combined with the month and a half where I finished working at a pizza place) to fill my gas tank, pay my car insurance, and buy some CDs and food here and there, with the slight promise of upward mobility in the company (literally, the original manager Fred liked me a lot, and said I'd probably be a manager in another month or two and working full-time), I got shit on right away from a cunt on a powertrip. So another few months go by, and not only am I told I'll likely never be a manager there, but I don't get the raise I was promised by the STORE MANAGER, and my hours get cut in half. I put up with it, since I still only needed enough money for my car, food, and booze, but then I finally have enough...especially when my car got totalled. So my buddy Crawford gets me a job at the warehouse he works at since he's leaving in a couple of months to go to college (Berklee, which he has since transferred from to UMass Boston), and I get an interview and am told later that day that I've got the job as soon as I want it. That night I write out a pretty damn professional letter declaring that I'm entering my 2-weeks notice into Bob's, and I put it into the store manager's mailbox the next morning before the end of my shift. Then I see Missy picking up the store manager's mail, and since it's mostly vacation request forms I think nothing of it, and then I go home. A week and a half later, my schedule says I'm only working 4 days that week, so I work the first three and call out the fourth (I legitimately wasn't feeling too good, mostly due to a hangover), and then I get a letter after my second week at my new job (where I still am today) about how my employment with Bob's Stores and TJX Ltd. (the company that owns Bob's, as well as TJ Maxx and Marshall's and Home Goods) has been terminated due to a no-call/no-show on my last scheduled day. I called in, legitimately not up to working, and they fired me anyway. So yeah, that's my story. Not as entertaining as the rest of yours, but amusing at least to me.

At THIS board... In the "Re-introduce ourselves thread." I was CoreyLazarus416 then, and at the original Smarks board (towards the end of its run) I was either CoreyLazarus or just Lazarus.

Know what peeves me a little about SDvR07 that I hope they fix in 08? No Death Valley Driver. I've looked up and down the movelist and haven't seen it. The closest thing they have is the F-U v2, but even then that's still got Cena's little "you can't see me" bull before he picks 'em up. Is it as a Control move? I'm prolly selling '07 as soon as '08 comes out, along with some other games I don't play anymore. Hopefully it's at least as decent as 06.

**gets out flute-dagger** Dunnnn, dun dunnn, da-da dunnnn!!!!

Charlie sucked. I saw it at a second-run theater up the street from my house (last night the theater was in business, and I used to go there all the time, even fingered my first chick there, so I was going there to see something no matter what), and was disappointed beyond belief. Gene Wilder got the eccentric genius of Wonka down better than Depp did, albeit with a different script, and the whole thing with Charlie being poor was done so much better in Willie than in Charlie. I just got the feeling that Wilder's Willie actually knew what was going on much better than Depp's Willie did, and that Wilder's Willie was a demented genius whereas Depp's was just demented. The Dawn remake was solid, it just shouldn't have been called Dawn. Snyder and Gunn should've just come up with their own title, and said in interviews that they were VERY heavily influenced by Romero. It was a good flick, it just wasn't Dawn. I can actually watch Dawn '04 more often than the original, mostly because of how lightweight it is. The original is thicker, if you catch what I'm saying. There's more depth to it, there's better acting (aside from Ving Rhames, since Ving Rhames fucking rules), and there's an actual emotional growth to the characters. Plus...Romero got his hippie viewpoints thrown in nicely, whereas Dawn '04 was just straightforward "RUN FROM THE FUCKING ZOMBIES" fun.

Sam bricks right in Frodo's mouth, right?

I'm going to make a thread for each Toxie flick. All 5 of 'em (yes, including the animated Toxic Crusaders 90-minute pilot episode).

Eh, I dunno. He had Angela. I usually don't like black chicks, but Angela was smokin'. Always preferred the one-off date Cory had in high school with TS (or TC, I forget which, but she was Harley's little sister), though. Much cuter, and less of a hippie-turned-yuppie bitch than Topanga. The best side-characters were definitely Frankie and Joey, though. Morgan's first appearance after disappearing for a few seasons was hilarious, too. "Yeah, I was in my room for a LONG time. I'll never say [beep that lasts a few seconds] again." Then they send her back to her room. And Minkis' return for the high school graduation was great. "I've been down that hall," and Cory and Shawn just look on in fear and go "we don't go down THAT hall."

I've never seen a Gwar tab book (I'd be willing to wager that Dave Brockie would actually prefer you look it up online), a Municipal Waste tab book (they'd be too drunk/stoned to give a fuck if you gave them money or not, as long as you're partying at THEIR show), or even a Cannibal Corpse tab book (which is odd since they've been around for nearly 20 years). The 'net is the only place to find tabs to bands that not everybody already knows the songs by. EDIT: Just look on http://www.911tabs.com, dude. They compile lists of tabs by people from various free tabbing sites, and even have a few of 'em rated.

I caught a couple of re-runs the other day. One was after Shawn and Angela broke up and tried dating other people (when Cory and Topanga do karoake to "WAR!" and hilarity ensues), and the other was when Chet (Shawn's father) came back while they were in college and had a heart attack. For some reason anything that's about the relationship between a father and son gets to me, which is odd because I actually have a decent relationship with my dad now (I used to not have too good of one).

Jonah Hill and a few jokes here and there by Carrel are the only reasons to watch this at all...when it debuts on ABC Family.

There was actually a lot in Metallica's 80's material that was sorely lacking from the majority of mainstream music, and is even lacking in most music today, that made (makes) their back catalogue pretty damn great. It's along the same lines of The Ramones (obviously to a much greater degree): people were doing it before them, but for some reason they added something to it that made it WORK. It's not perfect, it's not great, but it's better than a lot of other shit from the same era.

Not a true cover, but Black Label Society's "No More Tears" is grittier, heavier, and a lot more impactful than the original. It's not a TRUE cover, though, since Zakk Wylde wrote it for Ozzy, and then souped it up for his own release. Ditto for Danzig's "Thirteen," since it was written for Johnny Cash, and then he did it himself too. Motörhead's cover of "Enter Sandman" owns Metallica's in every way, shape, and form.

No it wasn't. It just wasn't as awful as every other nu-metal act of the time. Coal Chamber has stood the test of time better than almost every other band of the same style and era, though. And the whole tablature legality deal is bull. There's no reason for it to not be legal, considering people get them to learn how to play songs, and thus how to better themselves as musicians. Sense it nto makes for Yoda-like speak on Net-Inter.

All within the last couple of weeks... Cannibal Corpse - Kill Yeah. More of the same from the masters of death. And you know what? That's not bad. They may not be trying to experiment a little, or even push their music to a slightly different level, but I don't expect them to be like Opeth and write 17-minute epics weaving wonderful audible tapestries and then coming in with some nice heaviness and growls. I expect them to write and play tunes to grind my skull into the guardrail to, and this album accomplishes that in spades. Fun, brutal, grimy, heavy...and Corpsegrinder's growls are as great as ever. Dying Fetus - Stop at Nothing I used to hate Dying Fetus for the horrible back-up growls. If you've heard them, you know the ones I'm talking about. But they've grown on me. I've listened to "One Shot, One Kill" quite a few times, enough to get me to buy this album. And it's fucking schweet. Downside is that there's a glitch on the disc, so 29 seconds into "One Shot, One Kill" it skips to the point where you either need to stop the disc or skip the track. Bullshit. Exodus - Fabulous Disaster Outside of "The Toxic Waltz" and the cover of "Low Rider," it's a so-so album. I stand by my statement of Shovel Headed Kill Machine being the best album by Exodus, which is odd because it's their most recent, but I do believe that to be the truth. Again, fun for those two tracks, but the rest is pretty generic thrash metal of the 80's. Not bad, but not great either. Municipal Waste - The Art of Partying Greatness. On par, if not better, than Hazardous Mutation. I fucking love it. I can't even pinpoint what it is. It's obvious that Ryan Waste (guitars), Dave Witte (drums), and LandPhil (bass) have enough talent to be more than just a generic throwback crossover/thrash band, but it's also obvious that they ARE more than just a generic throwback crossover/thrash band. They're thrash metal taken to its most primal step with the whole theme of partying, and it works like a Mexican in SoCal that needs to feed his family. It's a great album filled with enough energy to make even haters of thrash and thrash metal take some notice. Witte's pounding of the skins isn't so much technically sound as it is fast and furious, like any good punk/hardcore drummer, but it's interesting enough to keep the short songs (the longest song on the album is 4 minutes and 20 seconds, obviously a joke by the band, but is also filled with two minutes of silence ended by, IIRC, the sound of a bubbler) from being too short to be erased quickly from your memory. Ryan and Phil work in perfect harmony, too, as Ryan will do some sick riffs - nothing overly complicated, but the speed and precision it's being done at makes one wonder how much Adderoll (sp.?) he's snorted - while Phil channels Steve Harris in how great his simplistic basslines underneath the guitar make the songs flow. Tony Foresta's pseudo-screamed vocals are just as solid as on Hazardous, but it's obvious that the reason he's in the band is his stage presence, as even when I last saw them (December of last year) and with a broken leg, he still captivated everybody in the pit. Great, great, GREAT fucking album. Municipal Waste IS gonna fuck you up.

Ya know, Milky, for some reason, I'm not sure whether I should laugh or just shake my head at the fact that you and Yuna cyber'd as Hardy and RVD. I'm starting to compile a mental list of possible awful innuendo's, and it's causing me to leave this thread.

Eh...not too far off from how I'd rank 'em, actually. I'd go: Master of Puppets Ride the Lightning ...And Justice For All Garage, Inc. Load S&M ReLoad Metallica St. Anger Alright...so a bit off from how I'd rank 'em. Though I could easily see the reasoning for your placement, even if the Black Album is an overrated, unadulterated piece of radio-rock bullshit. And yeah, I included Garage and S&M, and it's interesting how Garage - filled with legendary tunes covered by Metallica - is better than anything written/recorded after '87. Oh, c'mon...A Matter of Life and Death gets better with each listen. Ditto Dance of Death, actually. Fear of the Dark is shit, though. It has three songs (the title track, "Fear is the Killer," and that one about the children), and everything else sounds like bad Deep Purple. Nothing can touch the first couple of albums with Dickinson, though. Slayer Reign in Blood Seasons in the Abyss South of Heaven Hell Awaits Undisputed Attitude (thrash metal + old-school hardcore punk = amazing, get used to it) Christ Illusion God Hates Us All Show No Mercy Divine Intervention Diabolous in Musica GWAR Scumdogs of the Universe Violence Has Arrived This Toilet Earth Beyond Hell War Party America Must Be Destroyed Hell-O Ragnarok We Kill Everything Carnival of Chaos Cannibal Corpse The Bleeding Tomb of the Mutilated Vile Worm Infested (I'd count it) Eaten Back to Life Kill Gore Obsessed Butchered at Birth The Wretched Spawn Bloodthirst Gallery of Suicide

Edited for accuracy. Wow...wonder what they'd do if Kerry King was in the airport and they didn't realize his eyebrows were pierced...and his arms covered in tattoo's...and...yeah, that went nowhere.

It's just funny to see him give himself little devil horns with his fingers. Fucking hilarious, actually.

There's Boston Common, which is great for not only stupid statues that cost the city too much money and are worthless in every which way besides collecting pigeon shit but also for the hobo's you can accost and promptly burn. There's Fenway, obviously, which is less about the Sox than about getting wasted and yelling "Yankees suck." There's I-90, where you might get hit by a falling plate of cement that was installed wrong. And there's Dorchester, where those droks with the red beret's won't stop you from getting shot.

Hopefully the CAW isn't neutered like '07. I mean...creating a 225-pounder who can't do a fucking 'rana? Too slow to keep up with the cruisers, and too weak to fight with the heavyweights...that was fucking lame. And getting rid of the moveset options (I counted at least 18 moves less than '06) was a bad idea.

So yeah. SotU sucked a dick. The opening band was GOATWHORE, who are fucking solid and put on a decent enough live show. A lot of energy on stage, not much movement, and the bassist's ridiculous wardrobe (fucking Road Warrior-esque shoulderpads) was chuckle-inducing, but solid enough. I screamed for an Acid Bath song, but their set was limited. Plus I'm not sure if half of the people there (LOTS of teenagers and Juggalo's to see Necro) knew who the fuck Acid Bath are/were. Then THIS IS HELL took the stage. Generic fashioncore in the ways of Shai Hulud and Converge. Fucking atrocious and boring. It didn't help that the PA had the volume up WAAAAAY too high, to the point where it was hard to hear ANYTHING clearly. Me and Steph then left as they started to allow re-entry (only took the cunts an hour and a half or so to start allowing it), and just hung around the area smoking butts before we went back to my car to chill until 4:15ish when Amon Amarth took the stage. We missed HEAVY HEAVY LOW LOW, THE ACACIA STRAIN, and some other God-awful band I'm glad I forget the name of. We got back in just as AMON AMARTH were taking the stage, and headed to the balcony of the Palladium (saving our energy for Shadows Fall and Gwar). Fucking great live set, just like the last time we saw them opening for In Flames a year and a half ago. Went downstairs to smoke a BUTT, then came back in just as DARKEST HOUR took the stage. Manic stage presence that would work a lot better in a smaller club (which says something, considering the Palladium ain't that big), and their set was cut short due to the band before Amon Amarth going for too long (or so I overheard). Everything they played was either brand new or off of Undoing Ruin, aside from closing with "The Sadist Nation," so I was disappointed in that. I was hoping for at least "Oklahoma" or, if lucky, closing with "The Last Dance Massacre" (which has become my favorite DH tune), but no. At least we got "Convalescence" and "Sound the Surrender." Saw a sign that Gwar was signing autographs at their merch booth, and asked some of the guys working there, who then said they were signing at the Hot Topic table upstairs. Go there, wait in line for a few minutes, then find out that the Hot Topic table has Heavy Heavy Low Low, so we go back downstairs, and they say Gwar signed shit at 5 and not 5:30. Go back upstairs to the balcony after getting a beer, and find out that Gwar cancelled their signings for the day which was uber fucking lame. Argue with some of the PETA fucks trying to get me to sign a petition to stop killing chickens with hammers to the head (no shit: that's what they had the petition for), and then tell the faggot to stop bothering me before I bashed HIS head in (later I wished I'd told him that my family owned a bucher shop that was vandalized and partially burnt down by some PETA eco-terrorist swine, but alas), and then back to the balcony. Just in time for JOB FOR A COWBOY, as I call them: Skinless without talent. Generic death with some grind thrown in, and the only person with any minute amount of stage presence in the band is the vocalist. Lame trendy death, and I'm wishing I brought my iPod so I could listen to some Corpse or something to kill the time until Gwar. Stage hands came out after JFAC and set up a drumset, a keyboard, and the guitar rack at the side of the stage...and then a turntable. Out comes NECRO. Necro's decent, Ill Bill is much better, and me and Steph figure that he'll have a backing band since he constantly samples metal and hardcore riffs. Nope. Just his DJ and a back-up screamer. It was an amazing show on the level of Lesnar/Goldberg from WMXX on everything that was WRONG with the event. Necro kept screaming for people to mosh, or as he called it "pit" (never knew that "pit" was a verb), and the ENTIRE balcony stood up at once halfway through his set flipping double birds. About 25% of the floor cheered for him after each song, and the rest of the crowd boo'd him mercilessly. It was amazing in every which way. CHIMAIRA next, and they're boring as fuck. At least the light show during their set was entertaining. I watched the drummer for the whole set, and all he ever did was hit the snare, constant sloppy double-kick, crash, and high-hat. That's IT. And he had a decent-sized kit, too. Fucking lame. After that, the banner for EVERY TIME I DIE was raised, who I'd never seen live but heard a few songs by and never liked or disliked it, plus I'd heard they were great live so I was a little excited. Fucking ATROCIOUS. To the point of ridicule, even. Horrible, horrible, horrible shit. Set ends, me and Steph are happy, and Shadows Fall is up next. We make our way down to the floor from the upper balcony, and then wait. And wait. And wait. It seems too long. SHADOWS FALL comes out and kicks things off with some tune from Threads of Life that reeks of mediocrity (take your pick), and then dedicate their next song to all of their "old-school fans." Cue "Stepping Outside the Circle," and the biggest circle pit I've seen at the Palladium since Slayer in '02. I'm left wondering how a song from their third, and up until Threads their worst, album is for the "old-school fans," but I digress. More songs I don't care about next, and I keep yelling in between songs for something, ANYTHING, off of Of One Blood. I even get a few stares when yelling "Threads of Life fucking sucks you sell-out bastards," but nothing from the band themselves. Whatever, fuck them. Decent live, nowhere near as good as they used to be, and the music sucks. Fuck them up their stupid sell-out fucking asses. Brian Fair, fuck you. You dreadlocked yuppie vegan scumbag. Go get a fucking ego somewhere else, because the only talent in your fucking band, Jon Donais, is sloppy as shit live. Play your fucking Journey-esque "metal" somewhere else, pal, because your original diehard fanbase can't stand you anymore. There's really no other term to describe Shadows Fall besides "sell-out," and that's me trying my hardest to find another one. Oh, wait, found one: corporate fucks. If I wasn't convinced of this before I am now, but Unearth is the only band of the supposed "New Wave of American Heavy Metal" that isn't named Mastodon that's worth a fucking shit. And then there's Gwar. The victims of this evening's show were the kid who shot up Virginia Tech, Jewcifer (killed by both Oderus and Gor-Gor), Gor-Gor himself (seems like Oderus kept missing the hole made for his sword, and the blood spurting mechanism was screwed up as it just sorta dripped out and didn't shoot), the Sid Vicious-like "rock star" that made his debut late last year on their Beyond Hell tour, Melvin (for "The Ultimate Bohab," though the song played after he was introduced was "Womb With a View"), and Oderus even made a crack about Chris Benoit. The big highlights, though, were the playing of two OLD-school Gwar tunes: "The Years Without Light" from Scumdogs, and "I'm In Love (With A Dead Dog)" from their debut LP Hell-O. They shot the most shit into the crowd that I've encountered yet, and my bandana was tie-dyed at the end (black bandana, white designs, and none of them are white anymore). Overall, lame show, and not worth the money. The two best bands were the opener and the closer, and I am INCREDIBLY pissed that Shadows Fall didn't play any old (ie. good) shit. Final rating of 6/10, D-, and it's only that high due to Gwar, Goatwhore, and Amon Amarth.

It's not that we hate Our Lady Peace...it's just that they're not good. =) Megadeth's cover of Alice Cooper's "No More Mr. Nice Guy" should be mentioned. Musically, it's not bad at all. But the video is so fucking awful it's hilarious. Take a look for yourself: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xTlGA1Hg-Do

According to various sources, the reason Angle left WWE for TNA last year was not Angle's doing. He had a problem with common wrestling drugs, I forget which ones (I believe painkillers and 'roids), and Vince offered Angle the same thing he did Guerrero: contractual release, and rehab paid for by WWE. Angle didn't want either, so he was opted out of his contract, took some down time, and then showed up in TNA.