Corey_Lazarus

It makes me fucking sick, and sad as a wrestling fan, to know that a company I once paid $40 a month to see 8 hours of original programming from has gone from being a solid wrestling product similar to WCW in its dying days (and I mean it: WCW from December 2000 until its last broadcast was oftentimes more exciting than the WWF, if only for the higher-quality wrestling) to WCW in the days when it was killing itself (Sullivan-to-Russo era 2000). I don't even care about Joe losing so much as I care about the fact that he lost not to further a storyline to really put heat on Christian but rather to punish him for a small, 2-second comment he made disparaging TNA booking. That's a bullshit thing to do to a guy that your existing fanbase fucking loves. If The Rock said something negative about the WWF when he was just becoming a truly big deal in 1999, would he have been made to look like a complete joke? No, he wouldn't have. He'd have Vince talk to him about it, and maybe job one match that doesn't matter, only to win a bigger one later that month. Joe got fucked because TNA management is seemingly filled with people so full of their own shit, so intent on hating WWE, that they don't realize that most fans these days are sick of the way the business is presented, and that most of their core fans are sick of the way the show is going.

To TNA we go: Lynn MADE Styles. I won't talk about his career elsewhere, but considering that Styles was "just another indy guy" before Lynn feuded with him...yeah. In 3 weeks Styles went from upstart babyface rookie to the top heel in TNA.

Bungle's s/t...it freaked my girlfriend, and her brother's girlfriend, out so bad Saturday morning that they begged me to put anything else on, even Amputated or Zombie Apocalypse.

Well...Kataklysm is likely out. They're on tour with Dimmu Borgir and two bands I don't give a rat's ass about. So yeah. I heard that the best way to get the free Ozzfest tix is by signing up for their e-mail list, plus they'll also send updates of confirmed acts. Might be worth going to this year, since it's free and all.

Wow...I wanna go now if they come to New England. Never seen RATM live, don't care much for Wu (but prefer them over most rap acts), but it sounds enjoyable. Plus the novelty of somebody with long hair, a goatee that's in the process of growing to ridiculous Scott Ian lengths, and a vest with patches for Slayer and The Misfits on it going to a rap concert might be worth seeing.

Well...what do the two kinds, trenbolone and nandrolone, do exactly? Because there is a SLIIIIIIIGHT possibility that they were used for legitimate purposes. He DID break his neck a couple of times, remember? I'm not defending him, don't get me wrong, it's fucking obvious he's used something from when he debuted in October '99 to even mid-2000 (his hair thinned a decent amount, and his forehead sloped forward), but let's just not jump the fucking gun.

5 Favorite Thrash/Thrash Metal Songs at the Moment: 5. Despotic Robot - "Thrashmaticians" 4. Uhwarria - "Tick Attack" 3. Slayer - "Post Mortem" 2. Send More Paramedics - "Zombie vs. Shark" 1. Municipal Waste - "Unleash the Bastards"

Ahem...Black Label Society has. Slayer, The Haunted, Unearth, and Lamb of God are all on tour throughout the summer. Ditto Cannibal Corpse. Gwar refuses to do Ozzfest, preferring Sounds of the Underground (quote Dave Brockie, AKA Oderus Urungus: "The difference between this tour [sotU] and other tours like Ozzfest is...well, this tour doesn't suck!"). Shadows Fall is with Stone Sour on the Jagermeister Tour. I cannot think of a single band that'll be free in the states to do Ozzfest that would warrant me even remotely wanting to go. So unless they get Send More Paramedics, Darkest Hour, and/or Kataklysm...fuck Ozzfest.

A rock band...at a hip-hop festival? Considering Zach de la Rocha isn't that good of an MC, albeit the owner of a very distinct delivery and a decent lyricist (though Immortal Technique would OWN his fucking ass, and Necro would make him cry), I can't see this ending that well.

Emo. Tool and the people that worship them but can't explain why besides "dude, they're fucking killer, your music sucks!" Yeah, I know you fucking hate thrash, but god damn, dude, at least I can EXPLAIN why I like thrash. Try coming up with a decent argument as to why Tool is anything other than a piece of shit. If you can? Cool, but if not? Don't ever bring them up around me, because I'll likely try to kill you. Uhhhh...yeah, that's it.

I'm still holding out hope that, one day, there'll be released a DVD chronicling the greatest feud in the history of ECW: Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer. I've only seen, like, two of the matches from that feud (High Incident, and yes it was part of the feud; and the WrestlePalooza '97 blowoff), but I'll be damned if just watching clips here and there of it doesn't have me salivating like a motherfucker. Maybe another Foley disc, one that has a 2-hour feature about his life and career, and then 2 discs of his favorite/best matches (but don't double-dip nearly as much as they prolly will). Then again, why doesn't WWE Films just produce an adaptation of Have a Nice Day? It might actually bring some decent bank at the box office considering how popular the book was.

That...and the booking is lame. The same crowd, so long as they're given quality new things to digest, will continue to be enthusiastic about the product. It's all about giving them more of the same, but changing it ever so slightly each time so it seems new. I remember Kash/Styles. Wasn't that great of a feud, but Kash was so GREAT as a heel that I bought the PPV each week (until the first King of the Mountain match, FUCK JEFF JARRETT) just to watch him be a dick.

IIRC, Llakor works for the IWS, or at the very least he works for the website. Former TSM reviewers the Paradise City Ninjas (Sandman9000, I believe Evenflow, and somebody else) are huge marks for the IWS, and plenty of people at TSM are fans. It makes sense to hype IWS events on the 'net, since the I initially meant "Internet" as opposed to "International." Plus, even if I'll never see an IWS event live, buy a tape/DVD, and only read the "When We Were Marks" hypes and view clips of the action, it's still an enjoyable read. Better than any Scott Keith review, better than any Rush I ever did for TNA (save for the one where I was pretty fucking drunk by the end of it since the show was so awful), and better than a lot of the columns at 411. Llakor, rock on.

That's true. Which is why 2004 sucked ASS for TNA. Dutch Mantel, Russo coming back and not having nearly as much creative juice as he did his first TNA run, the agents telling the X-Division guys to slow down and not do highspots (when the entire division was created FOR highspots), Jeff Jarrett uber alles...shit, '04 has been their worst year. The only thing I remember from '04 that was any good was the short ICP/Jarrett's Posse feud that culminated in Monty Brown debuting, hitting the Alpha Bomb on 2 Tuff Tony onto a ladder, and Kid Kash being YOUR NEW FAVORITE WRESTLER. Come to think of it...Kid Kash was the best thing going during the Dirty Dutch era. I know Mantel's still with 'em, but c'mon...we all know it's mostly Russo. At least during other areas of awful booking (Duthtay Whodes, anyone?) there was still some solid fucking matches. Dirty Dutch era? I can only think of Ultimate X 2 and a few brawls here and there, and the 8-man from the first America's X-Cup.

The beards of Mastodon own all other fashion statements. Especially the beard + mullethawk. I can't think of any tours this year I'm too excited about. Sounds of the Underground's bill hasn't been made/released yet...OzzFest will suck, as always, though it'll be interesting to see who the "old school" band on the main stage will be (I'm hoping for a White Zombie reunion, but that'll never happen since J and Sean hate Rob). Uhhh...yeah. Misfits gotta tour sometime this year, Municipal Waste/The Haunted are in Europe for most of the year (the fuckers), Slayer already came around and left (and left me with a fat lip and a BAD bangover)...yeah. Unless Billy, Charlie, Scott, and Dan put their differences aside to make some money and do another S.O.D. reunion tour (it's been fucking 7 years already), I have no idea.

They're alright. Lyrics are really fucking tight, even if the music itself is kinda meh. "Sound of Silence" is killer, and I actually prefer the original to Nevermore's cover (though their cover is great).

Black Snake Moan looks to be the first flick that I've thought Christina Ricci is hot in. I thought she was cute in a few movies when she was a teenager, but now...I think she's hot. Looks better blonde than dark-haired, which I usually don't say. Grindhouse will be amazing. There hasn't been a bad movie from either Rodriguez or Tarantino - lesser-quality, but not BAD - and ROSE FUCKING McGOWAN and KURT FUCKING RUSSELL. MACHINEGUN LEG and DEATH CAR. I will love this piece of shit.

Mathematical equations applied to moral issues? No, that's wrong. Mathematics should never be applied to anything that isn't black and white. Citrus, you're trying to compare stealing a candy bar with robbing some old woman of her life savings and sending her onto the street. Downloading a song, movie, TV show = stealing a candy bar. Yes, it's TECHNICALLY wrong, but it doesn't really affect the "victim" in a major way. Makes their product/service more well-known, and thus more likely to make money. Stealing somebody else's work and claiming it as your own = robbing soem old woman of her life savings and sending her onto the street. It's reprehensible, and you're taking somebody else's product and then kicking them in the teeth while saying "it's mine, it's mine, HAHA!" I don't understand how somebody can't see the difference between victimless crime and life-wrecking crime. That's like saying there's no difference between purse-snatching and murder, dude. That's not even really a stretch, either: you're either taking something replaceable or ruining somebody's life.

I second, third, fourth, AND fifth this suggestion.

Yeah...I actually told my girlfriend the long history as to why TNA was better off in its first year (despite the midget wanking in the trashcan and the horrendous "Miss TNA" and Dupp Cup angles) than they are now - despite having big-name talent like Kurt Angle, Christian Cage, Sting, and despite having awesome new-to-TNA workers like Samoa Joe and Homicide - and how TNA turned their back on their core fanbase numerous times in '03 and '04, and how they've never really been as exciting.

So...when do you think a Mike Awesome DVD is coming out? I'd say in a few years, maybe even released with the next era of entertainment technology.

Almost like Final Fight...nah, Haggard smokes Hogan.

UFC = most bought PPV event around today. "Mind of Mencia" = pulling in ratings that South Park re-runs do on a niche cable network. Hrmmm...Rogan's w/ UFC, Mencia has his own show...hmmmm...

When the work day is dead and the boss ain't in, I YouTube matches. GHC Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Mistuharu Misawa & Ogawa -VS.- KENTA & Naumichi Marufuj Decent tag match. I liked the story I saw here, as it started off with KENTA and Marufuji proving that they were at the same league as Misawa and Ogawa, and Ogawa holding them at bay while Misawa rested in between tag breaks. Really, this match built Ogawa. I don't even know the story behind it or even the date, but Ogawa was made to look like the star here by essentially controlling the match. Starts off with KENTA and Marufuji trying to prove they're worth a damn to the legend Misawa, and then Misawa trying to prove (and successfully so) that he can keep up with his younger, faster opponents. Bryan Danielson & "Die Hard" Eddie Edwards & Bison Smith -VS.- KENTA & Akitushi Saito & Ricky Marvin Dunno the date of the show (2/12?), but it was billed on YouTube as Bryan Danielson's first Pro Wrestling NOAH match. Solid match, but this and the other match had two things I really don't care for in tag matches: one-sidedness. I don't mind the build-up to the hot tag, but I do mind when one team dominates save for a few sparce comebacks by the other team that either lead to the finish or just make it so it's not a complete squash. Good to see Eddie Edwards getting good publicity (I remember when he was just a local indy guy with baggy pink pants, feuding with no-name's in NECW), though. He's gonna be a fucking star one day. He can bump, sell, wrestle very solid...I'd say he's more likely to become a Jericho-style star rather than Alex Shelley is, as far as today's indy workers. Marvin constantly attacking Bison while he's legal and Bison's on the apron was entertaining, as was a few of the clothesline trade-off's between Bison and Saito. Danielson...he was actually pretty "meh" in this match. Hit a NICE suicide dive to KENTA, bending him backwards over the guardrail (pretty sick fucking spot), and the Cattle Mutilation he got Marvin in was vicious (looked like Danielson was flapping his wings, which made the move look even more vicious and must've legit hurt like a bitch). KENTA was also pretty "meh" in this one, looked a lot better in the other match.

Part of me likes her better bald. Then again, I also have had a huge hard-on for bald chicks since I first saw Sigourney Weaver in Alien 3 when I was, like, 9...so yeah. Natalie Portman? Hot bald. Sigourney Weaver? Hot bald. Britney Spears? Jury's out, but leaning towards hot bald.