kkktookmybabyaway

Oh for fuck's sake, it's you. And today is mine.

Sigh. I have the Family Guy DVD's, and the newest one just isn't as good as the older ones.

One game down -- 161 more (plus the posteason) of having to listen to this shit from you.

The Man's holding them back again, I see.

• By now news of the alleged rape committed by members of Duke’s lacrosse team has been all over the media. Did these rich white kids have their way with a black stripper at an off-campus party? I don’t know. Rape is a serious allegation, and it can be extremely difficult to prove in a court of law. My rule of thumb regarding rape allegations is if the incident recently took place, I’ll wait until more facts/evidence is presented; the Duke situation falls into this category. Let the evidence present itself first, then make a decision. When Kobe Bryant was accused of rape, I took the same stance. Because the incident was reported in a timely manner, I let the alleged victim make her case. Even though in the end I decided for myself that this wasn’t a rape incident, I didn’t just blindly go “OMG here’s another white girl is just trying to collect a payday.” One of the most unfortunate aspects of these kinds of cases, other than the actual incident itself, is that just applying common sense could have prevented many of them. Girls, don’t go to a man’s hotel room at 3 a.m.; guys, don’t go to a party that is likely to get out of control. Do I sound like a fuddy duddy? Probably. But this is the way I lived my life for the most part (there have been exceptions, of course), and thanks in large part to my choices regarding not getting involved in situations that had the potential to be disastrous, I have stayed away from trouble. Like I said earlier about my rule on how I treat a rape case, I give the benefit of the doubt to an alleged victim if the incident is reported shortly after it occurred. However, when claims are made years after the fact, I don’t want to hear them. A prime example of this came with that female kicker for the University of Colorado some years back. In 2004 she alleged that she was verbally abused, harassed and molested by other players and raped by a teammate back in 1999. The fact you waited five years to present this information leaves me with zero sympathy. Likewise that alleged rape of Juanita Broderick by Bill Clinton. The fact this (allegedly) happened several decades ago made me indifferent to whole thing. (In addition to this being my general opinion on rape cases, I also share the same sentiment when it comes to molestation cases dealing with priests.) It should be interesting to see the fallout from this. If it turns out the alleged victim is making this story up because someone called her the “n” word, then there’s going to be a lot of apologies (at the very least) due. However, if this is a case of rape, then I say lock up the perpetrators and throw away the key. • Well, today’s opening day for Major League Baseball. Now I’m not even going to pretend I know what I’m talking about regarding this sport, especially when there are other people at this place like Bored, who eat batting averages and on base percentages for lunch. I wasn’t into baseball during my late-teens/mid-20s, but over the last few years I’ve started to warm up to the sport again. I’m not sure why I have this change of heart; it’s certainly not due to the performance of my hometown team. Maybe this could be the year the Pirates reach the .500 mark. Believe me, if that’s the case it will be like the Pirates won the NL Central around here. Actually, back in the late 90’s (I think the year was ’97) the Pirates were in a division race for most of the season, yet they never got above the .500 mark. I was in college at the time, and many of my friends were going crazy over the fact the Pirates were in first place, yet were losing more games than they were winning. In the end, the Houston Astros woke up late in the season and took the division, only to get swept by the Braves in the first round. However, when your hometown team has experienced 14 consecutive losing seasons, I guess fans will take anything they can get.

Gotta go with charcoal.

Because my upcoming b-day falls on a workday this year, the better half gave me my presents today. She constantly bitches that I’m hard to shop for, which I always thought was a good thing because that means I’m not materialistic. When it comes to gifts, nothing is better than CDs, DVDs or video games (except maybe gift cards so I can get what I want whenever it goes on sale). Even though I spend most of my disposable income on the three things mentioned above, DVD gifts are usually what I prefer to get, and this year she went 3-for-3 in the present category. My first gift was a gimmie: Season 7 of South Park. Seeing how I have the first six seasons already, it’s pretty much a no-brainer I’d be looking to add this to my collection. However, this season was when I began to stop watching “South Park” during their episodes' first run. Instead of staying up past when I normally go to bed on a work night, or setting the VCR (I’m lazy), I figured it will just be more convenient to wait until the DVD comes out and get a season's worth of shows then. Although Season 7 had some episodes that were great (Krazy Kripples, Christian Rock Hard, South Park is Gay and It’s Christmas in Canada, to name a few), there were others I didn’t care for, such as the one spoofing Jennifer Lopez and the one dealing with Cartman’s obsession with Casa Bonita. In addition, I felt a bit short-changed with the episode dealing with the Iraq war – the payoff wasn’t that satisfying to me, and it reminded me a bit of that episode dealing with Terri Schiavo and the removal of her feeding tube. (Although it was great to hear the Founding Fathers go “rabble rabble rabble.") The second thing I got was the soundtrack to “Team America: World Police.” A few months ago I had the movie’s “AIDS” song stuck in my head for about a week, and I guess that’s where Mrs. kkk got the idea to get me this album. A good idea it was, considering I already had the movie on DVD and liked several songs such as “Everyone has AIDS,” “America, Fuck Yeah,” and “Montage.” In regards to the movie itself, I was a bit disappointed by it. However, I think a large part of my letdown stems from me expecting too much. I try not to give a movie too high of expectations, but sometimes you just can't help it. (Kevin Smith's "Dogma" was another film that I had this problem with.) Overall I liked the movie, but it seemed to drag on in some places. But when it hit, it hit hard. Along with making fun of a number of Hollywood celebrities and the United Nations, I liked a lot of the film’s smaller touches, such as black cats being vicious “panthers” and seeing tropical fish in the “ocean” scenes. And then there was the dialogue, more specifically "Matt Damon," a phrase that the better half and I now use whenever the other person says or does something stupid. In addition, it’s nice to know that the Chiodo Brothers, creators of “Killer Klowns from Outer Space,” one of my favorite cheesy films of all-time, produced the puppets in "Team America." I’m sure there won’t be a sequel to this movie, but some work is better than no work, especially in the film industry. The third present was an “Uncle Buck” DVD. The odd thing about this selection is that I was never really a fan of John Candy when many of his movies were first shown in the 1980s. However, as I got older and watched these films again I began to appreciate them more; perhaps I didn’t quite get Candy’s humor as a kid, or perhaps my sense of what’s funny is getting diluted. I must say however that I always loved one particular scene in “Uncle Buck” when he’s talking a school administrator with a sizeable mole on her face. If you saw this movie, you know what I’m talking about, and if you haven’t seen this movie, I don’t know what to tell you.

Seeing who the father is, I think the best we can hope for is the good health.

It made as much as Sharon Stone's snatch this weekend.

I'm assuming the graduation rates for a school's men's football and basketball teams are also being considered in these evaluations. "Message."

I went with a Duke/BC final because I watched the ACC championship game and thought that it deserved another go. That was my expert reasoning.

The first time is always the hardest, but in no time my young apprentice you'll be pitching pennies at pregger teen-agers just to see them waddle over from the table they're waiting on and try to pick the money up from off the floor.

I do actual work at my job, so naturally I don't belong to a union, nor would I want to. Seriously though, even though I'm usually anti-union, sometimes I think they are a necessary evil. For me it depends on what the job is and how a union treats pisspoor workers. Police unions = OK, although one danger is the union protecting shitty cops. Union for cashiers = N*gga plz. Don't get bitter when managment gives you the boot and replaces you with a self-checkout machine because you are expecting to be able to support a family and pay a mortgage in suburbia just by scanning groceries.

Which is even more amazing considering your sexual dry spell.

Well, the Final Four is wrapping up and thus nears the end of another college basketball season. Now we all complete those hippie bracket sheets at the start of the tournament, filled with hopes that our upset picks will come to fruition and that our predicted winners will coast to victory. But a funny thing always happens on the road to the Final Four -- they actually play the games and your picks get shot to hell. I'll man up though and take a look a what I thought were good selections a few weeks ago. All of my picks can be found in my March 16 entry: The Good: I had Texas making it to the regional finals and losing. I predicted Shitt losing in the second round. However, I didn't expect them to lose to a 13 seed (although it doesn't really surprise me). I got the bottom half of my Oakland bracket correct, which includes Alabama's first-round upset. I picked Tennessee, a 2 seed, to lose in the second round, just to a different team than they actually did. I selected Wisconsin-Milwaukee as a first-round upset (too bad I also had them as a second-round winner). I had Georgetown beating the 2 seed Ohio State (but not Florida beating the Hoyas in the third round). I picked Bucknell in that high-risk 8-9 seed matchup. Forget The Bad, These Were Just Ugly: I had Duke beating LSU and reaching the Final Four. I had Syracuse reaching the third round. Iowa beat Southern Illionis in the second round in my bracket; in reality West Virginia defeated Northwestern State. Kansas reached the fourth round in kkk world. Seton Hall was one of my Cinderella stories, what with them reaching the third round in my bracket, only to lose to North Carolina. George Mason was a first-round exit. Sure there were some other losses that hit my bracket hard, such as Boston College's early defeat (I had them winning it all). But hey, it was by only one point. It wasn't like they lost by 20 in the first round like the Seton Hall BUTT Pirates. Oh well, there's always next year. One thing I'll have to remember is not to listen to my woody telling me that the Big East is the way to go. I knew Villanova wasn't going to get to the Final Four, but I had a few of my upset specials come out of this conference, and the only thing special about these teams was the short bus that probably drove them to the arena. Even though most of us can't pick these games worth shit, this is still way more enjoyable than the retarded way we determine so-called National Champions in Division I-A Football. Now although I think there should be some sort of playoff system, I can understand in a way those that want to keep these lame Bowel Game (that's not a type-o, btw). However, don't then even attempt to say one team deserves to be called "National Champs." If you want to end the college football season with conference play, then have the top teams play in meaningless one-game exhibitions a month or so later, that's great. But don't even try to make some determination of which team was the best for that year.

61 Points, and I'm not going to get any more.

Oh no, not again.

You're yelling at someone of your own race -- you really are an Uncle Tom. Still won't get you out of mowing my lawn, though.

Tom's avatar wasn't that bad, although it is NSFW. And what was the joke -- that those were implants?

Couldn't find any rusty coathangers in time, huh? I guess I should say congrats, if the crumbsnatcher was indeed what you wanted.

No. Although yesterday I was driving in some place I've never been before, came across a closed down little theater that still had its marquee up: The final two films it presented? Along Came a Spider and Croc. Dundee III.

Is there any recourse a guy can take in a case like this? I first heard of this story early in the week, then after a few days of coverage some schmoe on ESPN (I think it was Michael Smith on ATH) said something like "And race is a big factor in this," to which I went "The chick's black?"

132: Steve J. and what he does for a living. (Not to mention him saving this place, if you haven't heard.)

• Shoot me now. Before typing up this masterpiece of an entry you are currently reading, I popped in my Best-of Steppenwolf CD and realized that while “Born to be Wild” played I was scanning through a shopping receipt seeing how much money I saved during today's trip to the store. And for those scoring at home, I saved $11 off a $23 bill, thanks to weekly specials and coupons. • Whenever the NIT is under way, there’s always jokesters who say things like, “time to see which team is the 66th best in the country lol.” And while it is odd, albeit funny, that this tournament has a back-to-back champ, five consecutive wins in tournament play is five consecutive wins. So to NC State I say congrats. Maybe next year you can get into the big dance and get blown out in the first round. • Ten years ago I would have given a shit that two Republican senators are pooh-poohing a plan to limit their state’s ability to waste money, but I’ve since stopped caring. However, I have to give Ohio’s Secretary of State Ken Blackwell props for at least trying. If I still lived in this state, I’d vote for you in the Republican primary, bro. In my state of Pennsylvania, it looks like Bob Casey Jr. is going to defeat Rick Santorum in the next election. I’m not sure which pair of senators I’d want representing me: Casey and Crazy Arlen Specter, or my old senators Mike Duh-Whine and George Voino-bitch from Ohio. I guess at the end of the day having two RINOs is better than a liberal Republican and so-called conservative Democrat. While on the subject of balanced budget talk, I remember back in the mid-90s Republicans tried to pass a Balanced Budget Amendment, which failed by a few votes. I think back to those good ol’ days when Republicans at least seemed to care about fiscal responsibility and laugh. • Hawk 34 brought up an interesting point in his most recent entry regarding people and interruptions. One thing that really used to get on my nerves at a few former jobs was when co-workers would approach me on my break while I was listening to a CD via portable player and headphones. The following conversation would then ensue: Them: “hey … Hey … HEY!” Me: “What?” “Whatcha listening to?” “Ramones/EPMD/Offspring/etc.” “Any good?” For the rest of my break I’d be talking with this schmuck when all I wanted to do was listen to some goddamn music for 10-15 minutes. Oh that used to piss me off. And if these people weren’t talking about your taste in music during a short break they commented on your food during a lunch break. My favorite memory was when this retard came up to me while I was enjoying some animal crackers and milk and asked, “Whatcha eating?” What the fuck does it look like, dipshit? The bag on the table in front of me says "Animal Crackers" and there's a bunch of circus/zoo animals on the packaging. Nevertheless I humored this dolt and responded with “animal crackers.” I swear to God at this point he was sprouting wood. He started going “Ooooh ANIMAL CRACKERS. That sounds good.” Jesus Christ. If you had 99 cents in your pocket you could probably get some of your own and jerk off to their crunchy, but not-too-sweet, goodness instead of bothering me with this pisspoor attempt at small talk, or whatever you cretins try to bother me with. While I’m on this subject, here’s another thing that gets on my nerves. You go to a retail store and buy something, anything. When you go to the register, the cashier makes some gay-ass comment about what a great purchase you made. OK, I can deal with this, after all they're just trying to be friendly. However, what sometimes comes next from these people makes me want to kill; they remark about how they wished they had whatever it was you were buying. For fuck’s sake, I bought this in the STORE YOU WORK IN. I doubt Wal-Mart or Target has a policy forbidding its employees from buying in-house merchandise. Go on your break and buy one of whatever it was that I brought to your work sta -- that is if you aren't planning on popping in a CD in the break room, only to have Doug from Electronics ask you what you're listening to.

You forgot the first part. EDIT: Might as well contribute with OMG ban plz