kkktookmybabyaway

8:15 p.m. • So this past weekend was pretty big one for me. After all, I got a new job that I will begin at the start of the year. Sure something may fall through and then you'll get several months of me pissing and moaning even more than usual about this topic. But I'm not that cynical (or so you think). Anyway, Swift Terror made a post in Sunday's entry in which I talked about my new soon-to-be-place of employment. He said, "now it's time for PS3 or XBOX 360...more takehome cash = electronic toys." Not so fast. First off, this may be odd but I'm actually content with my PS2 and the games I have. Perhaps I hit my peak with video game tastes because the new consoles don't seem to be worth the price. Then again, I'm not in the mood to shell out several hundred dollars on a new video game system when I'm perfectly content playing Madden '05, NCAA Football '05 and Star Wars Battlefront games. I must note however that this may be changing because the last two games I played on NCAA Football the disc has frozen on me. Grr. At least when I simmed these contests my team won (as it should have because I won my OT game against Wake Forest and was leading by 10 with another scoring drive in the works against UConn in the fourth quarter). But I digress. This new job won't be much more pay than where I work now, but that's not the reason I'm switching jobs. I'm doing so because the place I work at now is a complete and utter shithole to work at and I need out. However, this new job isn't the only big news I got this weekend, and today's visit to the doctor only confirmed the kkk household's suspicions. Unless God does a quality check and realizes what he let slip through (it's still the first trimester), I'm going to be a... ...do I need to say anything more?

Not quite. (You'll see in my 12/11 entry.)

Four years in February.

10:45 p.m. • My county makes me so proud sometimes. I noticed when posting this image that its link reads: www.pittsburghlive.com/photos/2007-12-08/1209-redneck1-a.jpg • So I mentioned a while back about my recent job interviews. Let me recap. Had two job interviews on November 27. Both went well. Had the second interview to Job A on December 6. Now what was funny about this one is that the first interview with this place dealt with the Human Resource person, who was doing everything in her power to convince me that her place was a great place to work at. She also said that she wanted me back for a second meeting. After thinking about this for a day (this job wouldn't be the same thing as I'm doing now), I agreed and met up with my would-be boss on 12/6. Everything that this poor HR person did to build this job up was torn down by my new interviewer. First off, he was 20 minutes late. OK. That’s understandable. Secondly, he hadn’t even bothered to look over my resume until the actual interview. Look, if this was a big corporation I could understand. However, there aren’t that many people in his department to oversee. Sorry, but I found that very unprofessional. However, what made it even worse was that he was trying to go down the “overqualified” route, which made me laugh because when he brought up workplace scenarios that he was hoping the ideal candidate would be able to excel in I gave real-life ordeals I’ve gone through that dealt with the exact same topic. As I left this place I thought, “I’d probably choose this place over the shit hole I work at now, but Job B just got the inside track.” I had the second interview to Job B on Friday, and I completely brought down the house. Later that afternoon I got the offer. There’s a few things that need to be ironed out, but nothing that would make me stay where I am now. (“Ironed out” isn’t the right term. Wanting some specifics answered due to the sodomy I’ve experienced at my current place of employment would be more accurate.) Due to some paperwork that needs to be filed and approved, I’ll be starting January 2 or 3. Of course, there’s always the chance everything will fall through. However, this is unlikely, and this is coming from one paranoid mo’ fo’. All I have to say is that this will probably be the best three weeks of work I’ve had in quite some time.

Deadline has come and gone. Regarding the "Lock of the Week" feature proposed for next year, the final vote was 14-9 in favor of "no." Below is the final tally. Voting "yes." (9) Vitamin X Teke Hawk34 Cena's Writer Steve Rogers Canadian Guitarist King PK Tyler Tzar Lysergic Harley Quinn Voting "no." (14) Kahran Ramsus sfaJack Smues Human Fly Alfdogg Spaceman Spiff Gert T Fazzle Danville Wrestling Cartman King The Walkin' Dude Devo Starvenger

8:45 p.m. • Nuts. I almost forgot about my Heisman prediction. Have no clue who did what. I’m guessing Tebow will win, but I’d vote for McFadden. I’m sure Tebow got a bunch of those touchdowns by Jew 1-yard runs. That’s all I got. • Pickkk time. Chicago @ Washington (3.5) Shit. Carolina @ Jacksonville (10.5) The Panthers win last week was due. I just hope Jacksonville doesn’t play down to their competition. (10.5) Dallas @ Detroit The Lion free-fall continues. Miami @ Buffalo (7.5) Why in the hell do I bother with this? Oh yeah, because this week will be the WEEK. N.Y. Giants @ Philadelphia (2.5) I still think the Giants will flounder and all, but why not pick them? Oakland @ Green Bay (10.5) Here’s hoping Charles Woodson returns an interception for a touchdown so I look smart. Here’s hoping Charles Woodson is actually playing this game. Pittsburgh @ New England (11.5) Let’s see. Who did the Steelers lose to on the road this year: Cardinals, Broncos, Jets. Couple that with the guy who ran his mouth this week about guaranteeing a win and I’ll take the Pats. Steelers will score 17. (1.5) San Diego @ Tennessee Tennessee finished strong last year. They’ll stumble this year. I have no proof to back this up. St. Louis @ Cincinnati (6.5) I think somebody important is hurt for the Rams. Or was it the Bengals? Uh oh. (3.5) Tampa Bay @ Houston Somebody’s got to win the NFC South. Arizona @ Seattle (7.5) Sure. I’ll take the Cardinals. No idea why because they’ll probably fall like a house of cards. (8.5) Minnesota @ San Francisco Time for the Vikings to make a playoff run where they will lose in the first round. (3.5) Cleveland @ N.Y. Jets Ew. Only 3.5 points? Somebody’s hurt. Kansas City @ Denver (6.5) Somebody’s got to win this game: But 6.5? (9.5) Indianapolis @ Baltimore Will the Ravens be drained from their game with the Pats? I sure hope so. (4.5)New Orleans @ Atlanta You know, for as bad as the Falcons have been this year, from the predictions I heard before the season began they don’t seem to be that terrible. Then again, the Dolphins are 0-16. So remember, if you finish first in the Special Olympics, you still finished first in the Special Olympics.

Que?

There's no way to get this stuff done over the weekend? Congrats on getting the job done.

It could have been worse. Your car could have poo-poo'd in the middle of nowhere while driving to these cases. I'm probably too late in giving this advice, but would renting a car be cost-effective in this case?

Well I'd already be eating a double quarter pounder with cheese. Yeah, that hair might be bad for me. Too bad you're already eating rat poop in much of the dead-animal food you buy.

10:30 p.m. • Big ups to Al k, who directed me to this. Don't you know that having Pork Chop mascots is one of the worst things you can do to a Musl... err, Puerto Rican male. Wait a second. What? When the hell did that become offensive? I have a lot of rap records and don't recall that term being used. Although there was a Short Chop on Ice Cube's one album. Wait a second, I stand corrected. It's My bad yo. • Big ups to me, who found this. Don't you also know that advertising ham for Hanukkah consumption is one of the worst things you can do... oh who am I kidding? All a Jew will do is sue you. I guess they could also hire a hit man to get you, but this mercenary will be the lowest bidder so I'll take my chances. • You two wanted each other. Enjoy. Also, if two lesbians get a divorce, does the butch of the couple have to give everything over to the other one and live out of her car? 8 a.m. • So I had on the Thursday night football game between the Bears and Redskins. Now I’m not one of those people going OMG NFL NETWORK ISN’T ON BASIC CABLE. Look, if you want this channel, then pay a few extra dollars and get it. I don’t watch Lifetime, but there are plenty of people out there who do. Plenty of battered women whose husbands left them and their five kids to be with the office secretary. Not everyone watches sports, which is why if you want more of a certain kind of programming then spend the extra money and knock yourself out. But that’s neither here nor there. I guess I’m getting ready for all the bitching that will take place if/when the Patriots finish their (possible) undefeated regular season on the NFL Network, much like with the Cowboys/Packers game earlier this year. The reason I brought up the Thursday night game is that maybe it’s best for the NFL Network to be seen by a limited amount of people right now. Holy fuck is Bryant Gumbel awful. I get that not everybody likes Chris Collinsworth; he’s an acquired taste. He’s not my favorite announcer, but I can live with him. Gumbel is just horrible. When I watch something that is supposed to be apolitical, I try to give otherwise political people a chance. Hey, I think Keith Olberman should be strung up for that MSNBC show, but he’s still an excellent sports guy (in my opinion). Gumbel just pisses me off. What did it for me last night was when the Redskins quarterback Jason Campbell got hurt and was taken off the field. Later in the game it was reported he suffered a dislocated kneecap. It was also said that Redskins running back Clinton Portis had told Campbell’s father that he son was going to be OK. Gumbel then snidely makes a remark about Portis and his “medical license.” Fuck you, Bryant. Maybe he was just trying to make Campbell’s dad feel better. Ever think of that you piece of shit? I guess he should have said, "Boy, Mr. Campbell, your son sure is fucked." What the-? The one line I’m looking for isn’t there. Bring that beat back. Bring the beat back. Bring the beat back. *wickywickywicky or whatever that DJ record-scratching sound is* Much better. But the moment has pretty much passed. I tried looking on YouTube for a video to this musical masterpiece, but I had to settle for this other classic. It's sorta relevant to this topic. Yeah, I edited out the opening. Just another case of the white man's oppression. And W…T…F….? From the comments section: True dat, omarkhalid, true dat.

I probably wouldn't notice it in the first place. If I did I'd probably just ignore it unless it was one of those hair clumps you find in a drain or something.

Over-hard (probably the same thing as sfaJack's post) and hard-boiled. V-X -- do you use the bacon slot on that thing for something? I've seen that device at several stores but for some reason it seems to be more trouble (prep, cleanup) than its worth.

11:45 p.m. • If Smues can have his shitty entries, then so can I. 8:45 p.m. • I heard a day or so ago on local radio that the Pirates were talking with the Cleveland Indians about trading Jason Bay. The talks have since died down. Why oh why does anyone buy a ticket to PNC Park? • Got a second interview at another place tomorrow. Not sure if I feel like writing about this shit yet. After all, if I don’t get either job, what’s the point of talking about it. I think what sucks the most when job-hunting is that you research the company, you customize a resume/cover letter, if you’re lucky, you schedule the first interview, you prepare for the first interview, if you’re luckier you schedule and prepare the second interview. After all that and you don’t get hired, then it’s back to Square One. !@#%&* • And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). Dodie calls in and starts talking. Sorry, I was doing work and wasn’t paying much attention. Something about getting a house with her fiancée. Now Dr. Laura wasn’t yelling at this person, so I’m assuming she wasn’t living in sin. Well, when they went to the bank for a mortgage it was revealed that the fiancée had a considerable amount of debt. When asked about this – the lesser half said that he “forgot all about it.”

Even though many things get taxed that I do not do (booze, smoke, etc.) the danger is once these "sins" get taxed to the point of no return the government will start gunning after things I might enjoy. And I love it when stuff gets taxes and the money goes to something totally unrelated.

Oh it never does when it comes to district managers. Of course, had your boss stocked up on chickens and nobody showed up due to the special not being advertised they'd get bitched at for wasting food.

Deadline for the Thursday game has come and gone. Update on the "Lock of the Week" feature. Eleven posters haven't voted yet, and in the event of a tie I will cast the tie-breaker. The voting deadline is 1 p.m. Sunday.

Yes. The "lock of the week" will be based on point spreads.

I have no idea what you're talking about, sir.

From that link: The only "training" involved is remembering AP style/etc, for anal-retentive editors trying to justify their jobs. I defend Smith on a number of things, but he's flat-out wrong with this one.

8 p.m. • This one writes itself. • Don't you know that not letting hospital beds face Mecca is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male? Actually, this one doesn't sound too bad -- at least when compared to the other instances Muslims have been mad. I guess the only jihad these people can wage is with their bedpans in this case. Even during my high school years, I often questioned the Bible-thumpers that wanted prayer in schools. My question always was, "Don't Muslims pray five times a day -- what would you do for them?" Looks like I'll be getting the answer to this question soon enough.

EDIT: Nevermind. It would help if I actually watched the trailer first.

Chicago @ Washington (3.5) Carolina @ Jacksonville (10.5) (10.5) Dallas @ Detroit Miami @ Buffalo (7.5) N.Y. Giants @ Philadelphia (2.5) Oakland @ Green Bay (10.5) Pittsburgh @ New England (11.5) (1.5) San Diego @ Tennessee St. Louis @ Cincinnati (6.5) (3.5) Tampa Bay @ Houston Arizona @ Seattle (7.5) (8.5) Minnesota @ San Francisco (3.5) Cleveland @ N.Y. Jets Kansas City @ Denver (6.5) (9.5) Indianapolis @ Baltimore (4.5)New Orleans @ Atlanta As stated last week, I asked if anyone had suggestions for this contest to PM me. So far I have one response. When Bravesfan ran his "pick 'em" contest years back, he had what was known as a "lock of the week." If there was a contest you were 1000000% sure on you "locked" it and got an extra point if you got that pick correct. However, if you got it wrong you lost a point. The suggestion was to include that feature with this contest. When you submit your picks feel free to vote "yes" or "no" on this issue: Should there be a "lock of the week" feature in next year's contest? A "yes" means there should be a lock, and a "no" means you don't want this feature. Not responding to this question counts as a blank, neither a "yes" or a "no." However, saying something like "I don't care what we do" will count as a "no." If more people vote "yes" than "no," next week I will ask how many points this "lock of the week" should be, or if perhaps a person can lock up to a certain number of points (1-5 points). One thing at a time, though. Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 6-7) d by Washington (Human Fly 6-6-1) 7-8 CHI: CHI/CAR/DAL/BUF/PHI/GB/PIT/SD/STL/TB/AZ/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/ATL/20 WASH: CHI/CAR/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/TEN/CIN/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/KC/IND/ATL/XX DIFF: PHI/NYG, SD/TEN, STL/CIN, AZ/SEA, DEN/KC Carolina (Fazzle 8-5) d by Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 6-7) 9-11 CAR: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/STL/TB/AZ/MIN/CLE/KC/IND/NO/13 JAX: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/STL/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/21 DIFF: AZ/SEA, KC/DEN, 13/21 Dallas (Hawk34 8-4-1) d Detroit (Chazz1998 8-5) 12-9 DAL: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/NE/SD/CIN/TB/AZ/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/41 DET: CHI/JAX/DAL/MIA/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/STL/HOU/AZ/MIN/CLE/DEN/BAL/NO/17 DIFF: BUF/MIA, NE/PIT, CIN/STL, TB/HOU, IND/BAL Miami (Spaceman Spiff 8-5) d by Buffalo (Bob Barron 8-5) 9-10 MIA: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/PHI/GB/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/AZ/MIN/CLE/DEN/BAL/NO/13 BUF: XX/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/STL/TB/SEA/MIN/NYJ/DEN/IND/NO/17 DIFF: PHI/NYG, CIN/STL, AZ/SEA, CLE/NYJ, BAL/IND N.Y. Giants (Cartman 7-6) d Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 6-7) 8-7 NYG: CHI/JAX/DAL/MIA/NYG/OAK/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/KC/IND/ATL/20 PHI: CHI/JAX/DET/MIA/NYG/OAK/PIT/SD/STL/TB/SEA/SF/CLE/KC/IND/ATL/24 DIFF: DAL/DET, CIN/STL, MIN/SF Oakland (Smues 7-6) d Green Bay (Vitamin X 6-7) 13-8 OAK: WAS/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/13 GB: CHI/JAX/DET/MIA/PHI/GB/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/AZ/SF/CLE/DEN/BAL/NO/34 DIFF: WAS/CHI, DAL/DET, BUF/MIA, NYG/PHI, SEA/AZ, MIN/SF, IND/BAL Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 7-6) d New England (nl-asshole 5-8) 10-10+TB PIT: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/OAK/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/AZ/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/27 NE: XX/CAR/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/NE/SD/CIN/HOU/AZ/MIN/CLE/DEN/BAL/ATL/EP DIFF: JAX/CAR, OAK/GB, PIT/NE, TB/HOU, IND/BAL, NO/ATL, 27/EP San Diego (Porter 7-6) d Tennessee (Cuban Linx 8-5) 11-10 SD: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/STL/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/35 TENN: WAS/CAR/DAL/BUF/PHI/GB/PIT/TEN/CIN/HOU/AZ/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/20 DIFF: CHI/WAS, JAX/CAR, NYG/PHI, SD/TEN, STL/CIN, TB/HOU, SEA/AZ St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 5-8) d by Cincinnati (Teke 7-6) 10-12 STL: CHI/CAR/DAL/BUF/NYG/OAK/NE/SD/STL/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/22 CIN: WAS/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/KC/IND/NO/27 DIFF: CHI/WAS, CAR/JAX, OAK/GB, NE/PIT, STL/CIN, DEN/KC, 22/27 Tampa Bay (Starvenger 8-5) d Houston (Bored 6-7) 10-8 TB: XX/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/STL/TB/AZ/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/20 HOU: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/TEN/STL/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/DEN/BAL/ATL/17 DIFF: SD/TEN, AZ/SEA, IND/BAL, NO/ATL, 20/17 Arizona (Vern Gagne 4-9) d by Seattle (Steve Rogers 8-5) 7-10 AZ: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/OAK/NE/TEN/CIN/TB/AZ/SF/NYJ/DEN/IND/ATL/22 SEA: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/TEN/CIN/HOU/SEA/MIN/NYJ/DEN/BAL/NO/27 DIFF: OAK/GB, NE/PIT, TB/HOU, AZ/SEA, SF/MIN, IND/BAL, ATL/NO Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 3-10) d by San Francisco (Devo 9-4) 9-12 MIN: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/OAK/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/AZ/MIN/CLE/KC/IND/NO/30 SF: WAS/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/SEA/MIN/NYJ/DEN/IND/NO/17 DIFF: CHI/WAS, OAK/GB, AZ/SEA, CLE/NYJ, KC/DEN Cleveland (sfaJack 6-7) d by N.Y. Jets (Gert T 7-6) 8-9 CLE: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/PHI/GB/NE/SD/STL/TB/SEA/MIN/NYJ/KC/BAL/NO/21 NYJ: CHI/CAR/DAL/BUF/PHI/OAK/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/EP DIFF: JAX/CAR, GB/NO, NE/PIT, STL/CIN, NYJ/CLE, KC/DEN, BAL/IND Kansas City (Alfdogg 8-5) d Denver (Canadian Chris 2-11) 10-10+TB KC: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/CIN/TB/SEA/SF/CLE/DEN/BAL/NO/(13-7=6) DEN: XX/JAX/DAL/MIA/NYG/GB/PIT/TEN/CIN/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/(23-41=18) DIFF: BUF/MIA, SD/TEN, SF/MIN, BAL/IND, 13/23 Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 4-9) d by Baltimore (King PK 7-6) 9-9+TB IND: XX/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/NE/TEN/CIN/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/KC/BAL/ATL/(31-44=13) BAL: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/TEN/STL/TB/SEA/MIN/CLE/KC/IND/NO/(14-20=6) DIFF: NE/PIT, CIN/STL, BAL/IND, ATL/NO, 31/14 New Orleans (Cena's Writer 7-6) d by Atlanta (King 5-8) 8-13 NO: CHI/JAX/DAL/MIA/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/STL/TB/AZ/MIN/NYJ/DEN/IND/NO/28 ATL: CHI/JAX/DAL/BUF/NYG/GB/PIT/SD/CIN/HOU/SEA/MIN/CLE/DEN/IND/NO/10 DIFF: MIA/BUF, STL/CIN, TB/HOU, AZ/SEA, NYJ/CLE

8:30 p.m. • So I had my second job interview at one place today. Eh, I’ll talk more about this later if I feel like it. However, while I was out, I got a call from another place I interviewed at and it looks like I might be getting an offer. I’ve never had someone call me up and say, “thanks for the interview but we hired someone else.” Now this person could be calling me to say that whatever grant I will be mooching off of didn’t come through, but I’m such a hopeless optimist that I’ll just brush this under the rug. But in even bigger news, I finally got the four-volume James Bond DVD set. On sale. On a good sale. In addition to recent “Casino Royale.” Now I have to stash these away and wait until after Christmas just in case the better half got these for me. Hey, if she did and she got them on sale then I’ll be so proud and gladly return my set without her knowing. • Those must be some good-ass prospects. • OK, peep this headline. So what do you think happened? Did the cooks spit in the stew? Put detergent in this entree? How about jacking off over it? Nope. That's it? Chirst. God only knows what would have happened to me if I worked at this place. Just for the record, the jacking off into the pizza wasn't from me, although the other two incidents are. However, even though the beat-off pizza story is from secondhand information, I believe the person involved in this story would do such a thing. Of course, I'm trying to find this video clip but all I'm coming up with is this, and unless there's animated tentacle rape I'm not watching anything from Japan. Well, excepted for stacked beef stew.