kkktookmybabyaway

Rosie should start a foundation so people can afford armed bodyguards and not need guns. I don't care about either one of these two, and I don't care about this story, but go Donald.

Why don't you tell us how you really feel?

But defense and Game 7 ninth-inning home runs win championships.

Minnesota at Green Bay (3.5) Normally I’d go with the Vikings in this situation, but I’ve been hearing all week how this could be Brett Favre’s LAST HOME GAME EVER so I’m sure Green Bay will win. Then again, I did pick them. (6.5) Kansas City at Oakland I saw on the ESPN bottom line ticker thing that Randy Moss probably won’t play. I’m not sure how good he’s been this year, but I’m sure it can’t help the Raiders’ chances. Then again, this is a rivalry game. Ah screw it. I’m sticking with the Chiefs. Baltimore at Pittsburgh (3.5) The hell? Even with the Ravens clinching a playoff spot whenever they get a chance to sweep the Steelers, you can bet they’ll do anything possible to do so. And for the love of God, will the local Shittsburgh sports media STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW THE STEELERS HAVE A PLAYOFF SHOT?! Not only do they have to beat the Ravens and Bengals, but something like a half-dozen teams also have to lose out. Steeler fans, be content if your black and gold can end the season .500 – it’ll be a nice accomplishment for a banged up season. Carolina at Atlanta (6.5) Christ, I don’t know who to go with. I don’t feel comfortable with that point spread but the Panthers freakin’ quit at home last week. Hmm, I’ll take a chance with the Panthers playing better this week. (4.5) Chicago at Detroit You GOT to be kidding. (9.5) Indianapolis at Houston Is this a trap game for the Colts, or did that Monday night win against the Bengals spark Indy? I’m hoping for the latter. New England at Jacksonville (2.5) I remember how the Patriots played against the Jags in the playoffs last year. I’ll stick with them. New Orleans at N.Y. Giants (3.5) I first went with the Saints, but this is being played in the Northeast. Maybe if I’m wrong that will mean Emily will have a 6 INT game. One can dream. Tampa Bay at Cleveland (3.5) Will Cleveland play another struggling team tough, or will they fold like a house of cards? Well they’re favored, so that’s one strike. Tennessee at Buffalo (4.5) If you would have showed me this game on the schedule before the season began, I’d figure these two teams could be playing for the top pick in next year’s draft. Instead, this game has playoff implications. Good going for all teams involved. Washington at St. Louis (2.5) The Redskins have been playing better as of late. Time for me to put that to rest by picking them. Arizona at San Francisco (4.5) That point spread gave me concern, but fuck the Cardinals. Cincinnati at Denver (3.5) I first went with Cincy, but then I remembered about their secondary, which should help a rookie quarterback out. (4.5) San Diego at Seattle Goddamn are the Chargers good. Too good. While watching the Chiefs game last Sunday night I was getting the feeling that they’re going to be had in the playoffs. Philadelphia at Dallas (7.5) I just heard Jeff Garcia talk for the first time last week. No wonder T.O. made those gay cracks at him. I think the Garcia wave ends here, although I find it funny Owens has disparaged two quarterbacks during his career on the other side of the field for this game. N.Y. Jets at Miami (2.5) Congrats to the Jets, even if they don’t make the playoffs. I think the Dolphins will treat this like a playoff game, costing their divisional foe a chance at the postseason.

Deadline has come and gone for the Thursday game.

Doors? You need to worry more about them entering through the windows of your residence.

My house is a warzone. The female's a bitch, but the two males are pretty much oblivious to life, which is good.

We have an auto ice maker, and when it decides to create frozen water it freaks the cats out. I'm not a big ice-in-my-drink person, although I'll do it once in a while. I am not one of those people who go into a theater/store and order a drink with no ice in order to get more beverage.

Don't worry. Thanks to globlization, I'm sure "American-style" cinema will spread across the world, if it already hasn't.

Do you think Bill Mazeroski should be in the Hall?

• Let’s see, what exciting shit happened today. Well, the better half had a day off from work (again) and spent most of the day baking gingerbread men. When I got home from work I went into the kitchen and noticed each one of them sported different icing/candy pieces. She also named each of the dozen-plus she made. OK then. Well, to be fair, she names just about everything in this house, except for my gentalia. • Here’s an update on the out-of-control niece-in-law that’s going into rehab. The niece-in-law and her crack-whore mother have plotted a way to get the state welfare agency to pay for the niece-in-law’s rehab. Lovely. And I told Mrs. kkk why bother getting a present for her niece when we already gave her a three-month all expenses paid trip to the rehab center? Of course, now the crack-whore is holding the fact she’s committing fraud for her daughter and whenever the niece-in-law doesn’t respond to one of her mother’s calls by the third ring the crack-whore threatens to call the welfare agency and spill the beans. God I love white trash. Oh, and the niece-in-law is back with her on-again-off-again boyfriend. There's no way in hell he's getting a Christmas present this year because they'll be split up (again) before 2007. Hell, they probably broke up 10 minutes ago and will reunite at the top of the next hour. • And lawyers wonder why people despise them so. A few months ago this young couple was pulling out onto a local state road in my neck of the woods. Suddenly, two cars slammed into these people, and the woman suffered a variety of injuries, including, if memory serves, a broken pelvis, a broken neck, and the loss of her unborn child. This incident is finally going to trial, and the lawyer for the two punks who ran into these innocent victims has his clients’ defense as, “Well, they didn’t have time to avoid colliding with the plaintiff’s vehicle.” Would you like to know why? BECAUSE THESE TWO ASSHOLES WERE DRAG RACING AT MORE THAN 90 MPH ON A STATE ROAD!!! • I just heard on the news today that Shittsburgh’s soon-to-be casino is going to be run by this minority-owned company. This doesn’t bode well for the NHL’s Penguins, who were hoping another group would get the contract/bid/whatever it’s called, because this company called the Isle of Capri promised, if awarded the casino, to build a new arena for the city. Personally, I think the whole thing is bullshit. I don’t like having a casino in the area, but whatever. That’s why I live in Westmoreland County, out of the clutches of the greater Shittsburgh region. I’ve voiced my opinions before about Shittsburgh bending over backwards to build new stadiums for the Pirates and Steelers, but giving the Penguins shit every step of the way in their plea for a new arena. Of course, a new arena won’t just be limited to NHL play and would be an attraction for other entertainment venues to come to this shithole of a city, but why let common sense get in the way of kicking the Penguins out of town. Come on, Shittsburgh, kick the Penguins out of town. Let them move to Missouri or Oregon. Allow them to play in a city that has a state-of-the-art facility and sweetheart deals galore. Give the team time to mature with its young talent. I hope they end up winning 10 Stanley Cups as the Kansas City Penguins. That way, when all the Penguin fans in my area start whining to their public officials about how they could have allowed the Pens to leave we can hear these so-called leaders say, “I don’t know why they left. We gave them every opportunity to stay.” Of course nobody will lose their elected seat over this because Allegheny County is overrun by Democrats, so I guess George W. Bush will be blamed for the Penguins’ departure. Hey Mario Lemieux. You sweat and bled for this team and this city. You did everything in your power to keep the franchise you played for your entire career in this dump. When the going got tough, you nutted up and became an owner. There’s nothing else you need to do to prove to me to show that you care for Shittsburgh hockey. Pack your things, move on out and make a shitload of money elsewhere. I might even buy a Kansas City Pens jersey to commemorate this occasion. But hey, at least the Pirates are still here. I must say, however, that I was surprised at who got the license. I was sure Harrah's was going to be awarded it because that company is BUTT-buddies with my sack-of-shit governor Ed Swindell. In the article I liked to above, Fast Eddie said a while back that a new Shittsburgh arena would be built "regardless of who got the slots license." I pray the Pens move for greener pastures and the new arena gets built only after the team leaves. That way the region will have a brand-new stadium but no hockey team to occupy it 40-50 times per year. Just another day in Shittsburgh.

I have a DVD player for the living room TV, a DVD player for the bedroom TV that broke when the cat knocked it over and a DVD drive which I never use on my computer. EDIT: Forgot about the PS2. There's also the work Mac, but I don't count that one.

Depending on how the playoff picture looks after this week, I'll start sorting through regular-season tie-breakers. Don't forget the Thursday and Saturday games. UPDATE: The deadline for Saturday's game is being moved up to 6 p.m. of that day because someone actually wants me over their house in a social capacity. Minnesota at Green Bay (3.5) (6.5) Kansas City at Oakland Baltimore at Pittsburgh (3.5) Carolina at Atlanta (6.5) (4.5) Chicago at Detroit (9.5) Indianapolis at Houston New England at Jacksonville (2.5) New Orleans at N.Y. Giants (3.5) Tampa Bay at Cleveland (3.5) Tennessee at Buffalo (4.5) Washington at St. Louis (2.5) Arizona at San Francisco (4.5) Cincinnati at Denver (3.5) (4.5) San Diego at Seattle Philadelphia at Dallas (7.5) N.Y. Jets at Miami (2.5) Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 9-6) defeated Green Bay (Vitamin X 8-7) 10-2 MIN: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NO/TB/TEN/WAS/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/NYJ/20 GB: XX/XX/PIT/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NYG/CLE/BUF/STL/SF/DEN/SD/DAL/MIA/EP DIFF: KC/XX, BAL/PIT, NE/JAX, NO/NYG, TB/CLE, TEN/BUF, WAS/STL, CIN/DEN, PHI/DAL, NYJ/MIA, 20/EP Kansas City (Alfdogg 8-6-1) defeated Oakland (Smues 8-7) 12-8 KC: GB/KC/BAL/CAR/CHI/IND/NE/NO/TB/TEN/STL/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/NYJ/27 OAK: GB/KC/PIT/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NO/CLE/TEN/WAS/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/NYJ/12 DIFF: BAL/PIT, CAR/ATL, TB/CLE, STL/WAS, 27/12 Baltimore (King PK 6-8-1) defeated Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 7-7-1) 9-6 BAL: GB/KC/BAL/CAR/CHI/IND/NE/NO/CLE/TEN/STL/SF/CIN/SD/DAL/MIA/20 PIT: GB/KC/PIT/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/CLE/BUF/STL/SF/DEN/SEA/PHI/MIA/21 DIFF: BAL/PIT, CAR/ATL, NE/JAX, TEN/BUF, CIN/DEN, SD/SEA, DAL/PHI Carolina (Fazzle 5-10) defeated by Atlanta (King of the 909 12-3) 7-9 CAR: GB/OAK/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NO/TB/BUF/STL/SF/DEN/SD/PHI/MIA/16 ATL: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/TB/TEN/STL/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/MIA/20 DIFF: OAK/KC, NE/JAX, BUF/TEN, DEN/CIN, 16/20 Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 5-10) defeated by Detroit (Bravesfan 10-5) 5-9 CHI: XXX/XXX/PIT/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NYG/TB/BUF/STL/AZ/DEN/SEA/DAL/MIA/EP DET: GB/KC/BAL/CAR/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/CLE/TEN/WAS/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/NYJ/10 DIFF: XXX/KC, PIT/BAL, ATL/CAR, NYG/NO, TB/CLE, BUF/TEN, STL/WAS, AZ/SF, DEN/CIN, SEA/SD, DAL/PHI, MIA/NYJ, EP/10 Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 8-7) defeated Houston (Bored 7-8) 9-7 IND: GB/XXX/PIT/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NO/CLE/TEN/STL/SF/CIN/SEA/PHI/NYJ/41 HOU: MIN/KC/BAL/CAR/CHI/IND/JAX/NYG/CLE/BUF/WAS/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/MIA/14 DIFF: GB/MIN, XXX/KC, PIT/BAL, ATL/CAR, NE/JAX, NO/NYG, TEN/BUF, STL/WAS, SEA/SD, NYJ/MIA, 41/14 New England (nl-asshole 7-7-1) defeated Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 10-5) 10-5 NE: MIN/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/CLE/TEN/STL/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/NYJ/24 JAX: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/CLE/BUF/WAS/SF/DEN/SD/PHI/MIA/17 DIFF: MIN/GB, TEN/BUF, STL/WAS, CIN/DEN, NYJ/MIA New Orleans (Cena’s Writer 5-9-1) defeated by N.Y. Giants (Cartman 6-10) 10-12 NO: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NYG/CLE/BUF/STL/AZ/CIN/SEA/PHI/NYJ/28 NYG: X/OAK/BAL/CAR/DET/HOU/NE/NO/TB/TEN/WAS/AZ/CIN/SEA/PHI/NYJ/69 DIFF: KC/OAK, ATL/CAR, CHI/DET, IND/HOU, NYG/NO, CLE/TB, BUF/TEN, STL/WAS, 28/69 Tampa Bay (Starvenger 9-6) defeated Cleveland (SFA Jack 11-4) 8-8+TB TB: XXX/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/TB/TEN/STL/SF/DEN/SEA/DAL/NYJ/17 CLE: GB/KC/BAL/CAR/CHI/IND/NE/NO/CLE/BUF/STL/SF/DEN/SD/PHI/NYJ/24 DIFF: ATL/CAR, JAX/NE, TB/CLE, TEN/BUF, SEA/SD, DAL/PHI, 17/24 Tennessee (Cuban Linx 8-7) defeated by Buffalo (Bob Barron 9-6) 6-10 TEN: GB/KC/PIT/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NYG/TB/TEN/STL/SF/DEN/SD/DAL/MIA/20 BUF: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NO/CLE/TEN/STL/SF/DEN/SEA/PHI/NYJ/16 DIFF: PIT/BAL, NYG/NO, TB/CLE, SD/SEA, DAL/PHI, MIA/NYJ, 20/16 Washington (Human Fly 7-8) defeated by St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 6-9) 3-7 WAS: XX/XXX/PIT/ATL/DET/HOU/JAX/NYG/CLE/BUF/STL/SF/DEN/SEA/DAL/MIA/EP STL: XXX/XXX/PIT/CAR/DET/IND/NE/NYG/TB/TEN/WAS/SF/DEN/SEA/PHI/NYJ/EP DIFF: ATL/CAR, HOU/IND, JAX/NE, CLE/TB, BUF/TEN, STL/WAS, DAL/PHI, MIA/NYJ, EP/EP Arizona (Vern Gagne 8-7) defeated San Francisco (Lightning Flik 5-10) 10-8 AZ: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NO/TB/BUF/WAS/AZ/DEN/SEA/PHI/NYJ/24 SF: GB/OAK/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/CLE/TEN/STL/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/NYJ/28 DIFF: KC/OAK, NE/JAX, TB/CLE, BUF/TEN, WAS/STL, AZ/SF, DEN/CIN, SEA/SD, 24/28 Cincinnati (Teke 6-8-1) defeated by Denver (Canadian Chris 8-7) 7-9 CIN: XX/XX/PIT/ATL/CHI/IND/JAX/NO/CLE/TEN/STL/AZ/CIN/SD/DAL/NYJ/EP DEN: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NO/CLE/TEN/STL/SF/DEN/SD/PHI/NYJ/22 DIFF: XX/KC, PIT/BAL, JAX/NE, AZ/SF, CIN/DEN, DAL/PHI, EP/22 San Diego (Porter 6-8-1) defeated by Seattle (Chazz 1998 7-8) 8-10 SD: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NYG/TB/TEN/WAS/SF/CIN/SD/PHI/MIA/28 SEA: GB/KC/BAL/CAR/CHI/IND/NE/NO/CLE/BUF/WAS/SF/CIN/SEA/PHI/NYJ/17 DIFF: ATL/CAR, NYG/NO, TB/CLE, TEN/BUF, SD/SEA, MIA/NYJ, 28/17 Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 8-6-1) defeated Dallas (Hawk34 5-10) 13-7 PHI: MIN/KC/BAL/CAR/CHI/HOU/NE/NO/CLE/TEN/WAS/AZ/CIN/SD/PHI/NYJ/24 DAL: GB/KC/PIT/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NYG/CLE/TEN/STL/SF/CIN/SD/DAL/NYJ/27 DIFF: MIN/GB, BAL/PIT, CAR/ATL, HOU/IND, NO/NYG, WAS/STL, AZ/SF, PHI/DAL, 24/27 N.Y. Jets (Gert T 7-8) defeated by Miami (Spaceman Spiff 5-10) 6-9 NYJ: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NYG/CLE/BUF/WAS/SF/CIN/SD/DAL/NYJ/20 MIA: GB/KC/BAL/ATL/CHI/IND/NE/NO/CLE/TEN/STL/SF/CIN/SD/DAL/NYJ/23 DIFF: NYG/NO, BUF/TEN, WAS/STL And for those wondering how regular-season tie-breakers will get decided, enjoy.

• So I bought three $25 Target gift cards for my half-brother’s three kids. Long story short: He lives in Nebraska and is a doctor. He got divorced because his ex-wife is a psycho and I rarely talk to him. Not because I hate him, but he’s a DOCTOR with THREE KIDS. There’s more important things to do in life than call your little half-brother to talk about the Steelers/Pirates/Penguins. In fact, he was a groomsman at my wedding, and he’s one of the few people in my family that graduated an educational institution other than high school. Well, the better half and I bought these gift cards about two weeks ago, but as of yesterday morning they weren’t mailed out. Why is that? Because Mrs. kkk wants to put each one of them in a f’n gift box. Like my brother’s two kids that are 7-8 years old are going to give a shit. But no, we just have to have them in boxes. Well the better half went out this past weekend to the local dollar store to get these stupid boxes. Then she discovered that these boxes, when opened, were filled with mold and this brown shit. Did she take that as an omen that maybe gift boxes might not be necessary in this instance of gift-giving? Of course not. She went to several other stores to find these gift boxes, but nobody had what she was seeking. So yesterday afternoon she began to CRY because this holiday season wasn’t going how she wanted it to be. Seemingly every day when she’s not at her second job she’s doing something with her mom/niece/etc., whether it’s holiday shopping, going to some Christmas school concert, or whatever. And what would happen if Mrs. kkk would actually turn down one of these Christmas concerts or trips to the mall? She would feel guilty. So when she goes to all these events/errands, this means she has no time to do what she really wants to do for the holidays – baking cookies, sending out cards, buying gift boxes for gift cards from Target, etc. The good news is that she finally relented about those stupid gift boxes, and I’m happy to report that I mailed an envelope with the three gift cards enclosed, and they are on their way to Omaha. But the fun doesn’t stop there. A few days ago I made a reference to re-gifting a Blockbuster card for a co-worker at the better half’s workplace and was given a rude awakening about the policy Blockbuster has regarding gift cards. After going to a nearby Blockbuster to find out how much shelf life our gift card had left, I found out that there was only a few days remaining(!). After informing the better half of this, she went out and bought a much cheaper gift card for her co-worker. The reason she went down on the price is that she’s getting a bad vibe from this person. It’s one of those cases where this person isn’t showing up for work half the time, and in a way I’m actually proud of her because Mrs. kkk is one of those people who just want everyone to like her. Normally the better half would be bending over backwards for every co-worker, cashier clerk and nearby motorist to approve of her existence, but after her last job I think she’s starting to become a bit jaded with seeking approval from anyone not her mother. Yay, I guess. Oddly enough, I could give a rat’s ass what my family thinks of me, let alone strangers, so perhaps there is some truth to that whole “opposites attract” thing. • The Denver Nuggets just got Allen Iverson from the 76ers. Bob Ryan on PTI this afternoon echoed my thoughts about this transaction. Denver now has a nice little team with two great scorers, but they still aren’t going anywhere near the NBA finals. I must say that I’ve never had a problem with Iverson. The guy plays hard and never seemed to really have a strong supporting cast. Sure he likes to shoot the ball, but that’s what he’s supposed to do. I’m sure he’d be a bastard to coach and all that, but I don’t care. I remember watching some playoff games where he would get brutalized while driving the lane, yet he would get up and do it again next time down the court. Oh well, he’s financially set for life, so I really don’t give a shit where he plays. • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You get an adjustable rate mortgage/subprime loan and you deserve what you get. I’m supposed to feel sorry for these people? Fuck that. Go blame your woes on George W. Bush.

Get that pulp-shit out of my glass. And it's only low-acid for me.

Where do I say you're 6-8? You sure you're not looking at Seattle's record?

Only thing updated is won/loss records. Also, because Seattle has used EPs for the fourth time this season, I have replaced C Dubya with Chazz 1998. AFC EAST Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 8-6 < PF: 99, PA: 93, AFC: 5-4, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 4-1 > New York Jets (Gert T) 7-7 < PF: 87, PA: 89, AFC: 5-5, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-3 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 6-7-1 < PF: 89, PA: 83, AFC: 2-6-1, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 1-5 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 4-10 < PF: 89, PA: 99, AFC: 3-6, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 3-1 > AFC NORTH Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 11-3 < PF: 90, PA: 85, AFC: 8-2, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 4-1 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 7-6-1 < PF: 87, PA: 84, AFC: 5-4-1, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 1-2-1 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 6-7-1 < PF: 81, PA: 97, AFC: 4-4-1, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 3-2 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 5-8-1 < PF: 89, PA: 93, AFC: 3-5-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 0-3-1 > AFC SOUTH Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-4 < PF: 94, PA: 81, AFC: 7-2, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 4-1 > Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 8-6 < PF: 93, PA: 94, AFC: 3-6, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 2-3 > Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 7-7 < PF: 97, PA: 89, AFC: 4-5, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 2-3 > Houston Texans (Bored) 7-7 < PF: 94, PA: 92, AFC: 5-4, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 2-3 > AFC WEST Oakland Raiders (Smues) 8-6 < PF: 95, PA: 89, AFC: 6-4, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 4-1 > Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 7-6-1 < PF: 88, PA: 90, AFC: 4-5, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 2-2 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 7-7 < PF: 89, PA: 94, AFC: 5-6, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 2-4 > San Diego Chargers (Porter) 6-7-1 < PF: 89, PA: 100, AFC: 5-6, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 2-3 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 7-6-1 < PF: 93, PA: 98, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 5-3-1, DIV: 3-1 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 7-7 < PF: 84, PA: 87, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 6-3, DIV: 2-3 > New York Giants (Cartman) 5-9 < PF: 94, PA: 94, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 4-5, DIV: 2-2 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 5-9 < PF: 89, PA: 92, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 4-6, DIV: 3-2 > NFC NORTH Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 9-5 < PF: 99, PA: 90, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 7-2, DIV: 2-2 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 8-6 < PF: 81, PA: 89, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 6-3, DIV: 3-0 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 8-6 < PF: 93, PA: 89, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 7-3, DIV: 3-2 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 5-9 < PF: 84, PA: 95, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 1-8, DIV: 0-4 > NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 11-3 < PF: 108, PA: 92, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 7-2, DIV: 5-0 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 8-6 < PF: 98, PA: 89, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 7-3, DIV: 3-3 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 5-8-1 < PF: 91, PA: 86, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 3-5-1, DIV: 1-4 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 5-9 < PF: 92, PA: 95, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 3-7, DIV: 1-3 > NFC WEST Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 7-7 < PF: 98, PA: 87, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 6-5, DIV: 4-1 > Seattle Seahawks (Chazz 1998) 6-8 < PF: 93, PA: 100, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 4-6, DIV: 3-2 > San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 5-9 < PF: 80, PA: 81, AFC: 0-3, NFC: 5-4, DIV: 3-1 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 5-9 < PF: 98, PA: 96, AFC: 3-0, NFC: 2-8, DIV: 0-6 > The teams listed below are in no particular order in regards to regular-season tie-breakers. AFC Playoff Picture SFA Jack has clinched the AFC North. Always Pissed off has clinched the AFC South Smues and Bob Barron are divisional leaders. Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 8-6 Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 7-6-1 Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 7-6-1 Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 7-7 Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 7-7 Houston Texans (Bored) 7-7 New York Jets (Gert T) 7-7 New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 6-7-1 San Diego Chargers (Porter) 6-7-1 Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 6-7-1 Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 5-8-1 Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 4-10 NFC Playoff Picture King of the 909 has clinched the NFL South Harley Quinn, Bravesfan and Vern Gagne are division leaders Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 8-6 Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 8-6 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 8-6 Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 7-7 Seattle Seahawks (Chazz 1998) 6-8 New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 5-8-1 New York Giants (Cartman) 5-9 Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 5-9 Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 5-9 Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 5-9 San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 5-9 St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 5-9

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 44: Vyce. With Canadian Chick in the #45 slot, it’s only natural that this perv creeps up right next to her, even if she may now be a bit too old for his liking. Vyce and I have this special connection, and no it’s not because we spy on all the pre-teen girls in our neighborhoods. (I’m just kidding, we just check out the ones with the hot racks and ghetto booty.) Rather, we are both in professions that we are ideologically opposed to. For me, it’s being a journalism grad. For him, it’s having a law degree. Now while he is a bit more liberal than me on some issues (he sure loves them queers), I don’t think we’ve ever bickered over some current event, so I guess that makes him part of the Conservative Brigade or something, even though he can’t properly pull off my OMG FAUX NEWS shtick. But then again, who can? And now a word or three from the expert panel I’ve assembled to comment on the people I’ve listed. From Lovecraft: From Cancer Marney: From SFA Jack: • While perusing these blogs I’ve noticed a number of “Best of 2006” entries and stuff. This got me the thinking. Being the innovator of ingenious blogging delights, I’ve decided to P. Diddy-ize this idea and add some funk to its trunk. Here’s the deal. I’ll do one of these types of entries, but I want you, my loyal readers, to provide the topics. So in this entry’s comment section, give me what you want “kkk's _____ of 2006” to consist of and I’ll post the results sometime this year whenever I'm too lazy to write a real entry. The “_____ of 2006” can be a “best” or “worst” subject. Also, my answer may not be a subject or event that actually happened this year. For example, if Lovecraft would ask “kkk’s best horror movie of 2006” I would respond “Pumpkinhead.” But kkk, “Pumpkinhead” took place in the ‘80s. I know. But I watched it this year and laughed my ass off at how awful it was. Besides, it was the first horror movie I watched this year that popped in my head, so too bad. So let’s see how well (or awful) this turns out, if at all. • I heard about this fight between some players from the Denver Nuggets and New York Knicks.I watched some of it on television, and let me say this sure ain’t no Pacers/Pistons. Nobody was even lounging on the scorer's table! Amateurs. Because I generally tune out of the NBA regular season, I thought this would be a good time to see the standings and find out who’s doing what. You got to be kidding. Boston is in first place in the Atlantic Division with a 10-13 record? The Knicks aren’t in last place (yet)? Without Ben Wallace Detroit is still in first. Orlando’s in first place in the Southeast Division and Atlanta isn’t in last place? Utah is 18-6 and first in the Northwest Division (eh, I guess someone has to win it)? Ah, that’s why everyone sucking the Suns’ collective wang – they’ve won 14 in a row. The Lakers don’t seem to be doing all that bad, either. San Antonio, Dallas and Houston all seem to be doing OK. Damn, Memphis: 5 wins, 19 losses. There. Now you’re all caught up on the latest NBA news. I'd do the NHL but I'm even more clueless about that league, what with those wacky regular losses, overtime losses and shootout losses.

Don't blame me. It runs all by itself.

What's the problem?

Out of curiosity, how much stock do you put in a player’s postseason performances when pondering stuff like this? (Example: Bagwell was great, but he faded in the playoffs. Or at least that’s according to my memory.)

Don't forget Danny Tartabull.

Cooley looks to be the dominant one. Am I correct?

These goddamn NFL Network and their hippie weekday games have my schedule all out of whack. Bastards. And fuck you Bryant Gumbel. I had to listen to your godawful commentary during the Browns/Steelers game. What the fuck are you doing in football anyway? Get the hell out of here and leave the play-by-play to your brother, Greg. Cleveland at Pittsburgh (7.5) Incorrect. Yeah, I got it wrong. But what I want to talk about is how Kellow Winslow landed a cheap shot on a Steelers linebacker only to have his bell run on the next play, dropping a sure catch. Then Joey Porter called him a fag after the game and gets fined. Way to go Joey. I’m being serious. Of course, should he knock him out of the next game they play, or commits a personal foul, I wonder if Porter could be accused of committing a hate crime. (3.5) Atlanta at Tampa Bay. Incorrect I have no idea what to say about this one. Baltimore at Kansas City (2.5). Correct. Wow. I didn’t know this was the first Chiefs loss at home in December in 10 years. Boy do I look smart now. Buffalo at N.Y. Jets (4.5). Correct. I forgot who won this game, so I had to look it up on NFL.com. I saw the score, saw who I picked and thought, “Why’d I do that?” (1.5) Indianapolis at Jacksonville. Incorrect. Well, now that the Jags finally beat their divisional big brother, I can now feel comfortable in picking them to outright win a game against the Colts. Minnesota at Detroit (2.5). Correct. I still don’t understand how the Lions were even favored in this one. (3.5) New England at Miami. Incorrect. Wow, the Pats got shut out. Um, that ain’t good. New Orleans at Dallas (6.5). Incorrect. From my prediction entry: Yeah, that defense. OK then. N.Y. Giants at Carolina (3.5). Incorrect. Wow, and to think I thought the Panthers were Super Bowl contenders. Oakland at Cincinnati (10.5). Correct. The Raiders played a few teams tough this year, but I knew this would be a blow-out. (1.5) Philadelphia at Washington. Correct. Whew. Won this one by half-a-point. Tennessee at Houston (1.5). Correct. I’m glad Vince Young is doing OK this year. I don’t know what his stats are, but his team is playing better, and that’s all that matters. Green Bay at San Francisco (5.5). Correct. I have no idea what the Packers’ record is. Huh, 5-8. (3.5) Seattle at Arizona. Incorrect. First the Colts finally lose to the Jaguars, now Seattle can’t beat Arizona. Fiddlesticks. Denver at San Diego (7.5). Incorrect. Damn San Diego is looking good. Wouldn’t it be funny if the Chargers meet the Saints in the Super Bowl? (6.5) Chicago at St. Louis. Incorrect. I thought I made a good selection when I went to bed with the score still close. Then I saw the score the next morning and went “WTF?” This week’s record: 7-9 Cumulative record: 100-108 Well, if I go perfect in today's games I’ll be at .500 for the season. Sure, why not?

Deadine has come and gone. Seattle is using EPs.