BUTT

Me next.

I got terribly sick a couple of years ago, likely due to some sort of food poisoning. I was just lying a bed about to go to sleep, and then I started to feel a little sick, then it was like "FUCK I'M GONNA PUKE" and then BLAHHHHHHHHHH. Vomit all over my bedroom floor. I spent the next few days doing nothing but sleeping, puking and shitting. It was non-stop diarrhea, the kind where your stomach doesn't really feel the urge to shit but you sit on that toilet and just let it go and you don't stop, just keep on releasing that disgusting putrid liquid feces as long as you can and you never reach the point of feeling satisfied. I could have released the entire contents of my intestines that weekend. It was undoubtedly the worst I had ever felt. But by the end of the week, I was 12 pounds lighter. Go Kreese!

In 1991, this game ruled it all. Whip enemies in all directions, swinging with the whip, the room is spinning! And the soundtrack. Oh lord the soundtrack! Yeah, I love Castlevania IV.

Hahaha. Now ALL of Tecmo's employees are suing the company: http://www.xbox360fanboy.com/2008/06/17/te...g-obliteration/

He's making fun of us for listening to dumb hair metal.

Maybe "hit and miss" wasn't the right description. I like most of the songs on it, I just don't like them as much as my favorite songs on the first two albums. I like "I Came For You," "The Moving Room," "You Will Remember Tonight," "Into the Clear", "One Brother" and "Pushing Drugs" a lot. "Mark My Grace" and "Don't Call Me Andy" are OK. But there's nothing on it that's as good as "Ready to Die" or "Got To Do It" or "I Get Wet" or "Totally Stupid" or "The End of Our Lives," in my opinion.

There's only one other full-length, it's called Close Calls with Brick Walls. You can listen to his entire recorded catalog at andrewwk.com.

I love all his albums, although Close Calls is a lot more hit & miss than his first two. I saw him in '03 and it was awesome. He was in the midst of opening for Hoobastank playing the mid-level venues of the northeast and he still came down to Allentown to play a 40-minute set in a shitty club opening for "Ill Nino", of whom I know nothing except that they have a song on the Freddy vs Jason soundtrack. Also, I e-mailed him once and he replied. What a good dude.

Maybe this has been surpassed by other FPS games. I don't care. It's still my favorite shooter. I never had as much fun playing any game in multiplayer as I did playing Goldeneye with my brother, and I really enjoy the single-player mode too.

This is the absolute worst:

The girl who played Randy's girlfriend was really hot on Boston Public.

I sure hope he isn't fighting for the next five years. Dude will be like 50!

I'm not a huge fan of these drafts...but I'm in.

Snuffbox is still upset over LBJ robbing his boy Barry G. of the presidency in '64, it's only natural that some of his rage should be directed at the then-VP.

What is Juggalo? Let me think for a second Hmm well, he gets BUTT naked Then he walks down the street winking at freaks With a 2-liter stuck in his BUTT cheeks! What is a juggalo? A dead body Well he's not really dead But he's not like anybody you've ever met before He'll eat Monopoly and shit out Connect Four! What is a juggalo? He's a graduate! He graduated from *cricket chirps* WELL At least he's got a job He's not a dumb putz He works for himself scratching his nuts! What is a juggalo? A Hulkamaniac! He powerbombs motherfuckers into thumbtacks People like him 'til they find out he's unstable He Sabu'd your mama through a coffee table!

From the same soundtrack:

Where Benoit threads happen, Bix happens

The only good president is a black president!

Display Name sure likes the word "cunt"!

OH GOD YES MINI-ME. MINI-ME IS IN THE LOCKER. GUBER IS DRESSED LIKE AN ORTHODOX JEW. BUMFIGHTS! This is the single greatest hour of television in history.

Read the text.

As if this show wasn't awesome enough, we get an appearance from Andrea Bowen. Of course she was only 12 here, but it's still my favorite Desperate Housewives cast member, pre-DH, playing a young genius, and not being as totally annoying as those characters usually are. I can't wait until the fourth season when Freaks and Geeks' Natasha Melnick plays a pregnant goth or something like that.

Not when the scarf is for hatin' Jews!

Apparently not black enough for "Firestarter"!