Chuck Norris touches children. What are you going to do about it?
If you call Chuck Norris a kid toucher, he will roundhouse kick you in the face and then touch your children. If you do not have children, he will touch you, and you will feel like a kid again.
The moon landing was not a hoax, as the wind was caused by one of Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks, and the reflection on Neil Armstrong's helmet came from the light reflected from Chuck Norris' smile.
Jeff Jarrett was once kicked so hard by Chuck Norris he went into a coma and has not come out of it since. The Jeff Jarrett you see on television currently is portrayed by the Patriot Del Wilkes.
Chuck Norris counts as 6 full rating points. Sadly, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his television in sadness at the final episode of MASH.
If the room does not spin when someone close to Chuck Norris dies, he makes it spin.
A jumping roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris while in Minnesota on vacation was the premise for "When Doves Cry".
Chuck Norris kicked 800 homeruns in his Major League career. He played for the Texas Rangers for three weeks in 1981 before retiring after his 800th homerun sailed around the Earth and hit the home plate umpire in the back of the head, killing him instantly. Chuck was heard to reply that he shouldn't have been standing there.