KingPK

Since the Indy game, their point differential has been double that (+81, +83 if you throw out the Miami game, which had backups play most of the time). The defense is MUCH better than they were two months ago, you can't deny that and the offense is among one of the best in the league (people seem to overlook this) and Corey Dillon hasn't even had that many big yardage games (though he did have 12 TDs). They can hang with any team in the playoffs this year, as there really isn't one "dominating" team in the whole field (the Colts probably peaked around November and Manning's been getting knocked around pretty good the last few games of the year)

I have no idea what the hell happened here. Just repost whatever story you did in the first post, Shooting Star.

The new champ is in the house. Also, I'm posting this week for sure. Last Thursday I had just come back from a few days in Connecticut "donating" money to the Mohegan Indian tribe (and not getting much in return) and just didn't feel up to posting.

The Jaguars ended Marino's career by whooping Miami by 55 or something and then they shocked Denver in 1996 leading to them losing in NE in the AFC title game. Pittsburgh were the ones that ended the Bills' streak of AFC title wins in 1995. I think I'll go with New England and Pittsburgh winning on the AFC side and the Giants and Washington in the NFC this weekend.

Come on, line up for your beltshot everyone. Plenty to go around.

Could have had a few more speeches given to me, but I think I put together a good show. NGA did a GREAT match and congrats to Axel becoming GM. But, of course, the best thing to happen tonight? *Kisses belt*

GENE And finally, the match that was voted the 2005 PPV Match of the Year. Women's wrestling might not be as popular here in the United States as it is elsewhere, but at November Reign, the Women of the OAOAST put on a dandy. It's the Torneo Cibernetica. ******************************************** Originally aired: 11/27/05 COLE Before the match begins, let's go over the rules one more time... - Each team must decide a "batting order" in which they must tag in by. +For instance, #1 can only tag out to #2, #2 can only tag out to #3, etc. (for instance, Jenny Adams can only tag out to Cannon Kidd, Kidd to Confusia, etc.) +If a person is eliminated, their spot in the batting order is consolidated (ex.: if Cannon Kidd is eliminated, Adams can now only tag Confusia.) - You can be eliminated via pinfall, submission, or disqualification* *DQ = any regular American DQ, plus any form of piledriver being used is illegal - A physical tag AND simply leaving the ring will BOTH count as tag-outs - If one team is completely eliminated and the other team has more than one team member left, the team members must then wrestle amongst themselves, tagging out in batting order, until one is left standing. - There can only be ONE winner to this match - The winner will receive an OAOAST World Women's Title shot at anytime before December 31, 2005. If Ashley Street wins, she doesn't have to defend her belt at all until the beginning of 2006! COACH It looks like our bout is about ready to begin, let's go to the ring! Jenny Adams and "Floggin'" Molly Matthews step into the ring and shake hands, as Brodie Lewis and the Cannon Kidd climb to their respective corners, and the other combatants stay at ringside, looking on from the apron. ::BELL RINGS:: Molly and Jenny circle around mid-ring, trying to size one another up. They then quickly go into a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Molly overpowers Jenny briefly, then switches her grip to apply a hold known in Mexico as "handcuffs", which is a double wristlock out in front of the opponent. Molly then drops the left arm and goes into a single-arm wristlock to apply more pressure on one central area. That only gives Jenny the opportunity to roll forward and un-twist her arm, then leap onto Molly's shoulders in an electric chair position. Jenny rolls forward with a victory roll, which she transitions right into a side headscissors on the mat. Molly gets to a front position, with her feet and rear pointing away from Jenny, then wraps her arms around Jenny's calves and turns on her back, rolling Jenny on her stomach. Molly quickly turns over again, pulling her head out in the process. Molly then rolls through to a jackknife pin... ONE! Jenny bridges up quickly, with her arms wrapped around Molly's stomach, and twists to a backslide attempt..but Molly pushes off of the mat with her feet and rolls over Jenny's back, then grabs both of her hands and brings her over with an armdrag! Both competitors come up, and Molly runs into an armdrag from Jenny! Both competitors are back up, and Jenny charges at Molly...bi paso by Molly, Jenny comes off of the ropes, goes for a flying headscissors, but Molly drops her back in a standing position to block the hold. Molly jumps up, but Jenny ducks her standing enziguri attempt, then walks forward, looking to go for a cradle move. However, Molly crawls backwards and away from Jenny. Adams turns around after stumbling over her own feet, as Molly is back on her own feet. Jenny runs forward and leaps up onto Molly, going for a hurricanrana. But, Molly tosses her off, with Jenny landing on her feet in front of Molly. Jenny brings Molly over with a Japanese armdrag, then rolls backwards into an armbar. Adams scoots her legs over to hook Molly's far arm behind her, then brings her over with an inverted crucifix... ONE! TWO! Kickout! Both competitors come to their feet, and are at a stand-off! The majority of the crowd stand up and pay respect to the fast-paced action! COLE What an opening minute to this bout! Adams and Matthews shake hands in mid-ring and then both tag out at the same time. Brodie Lewis and the Cannon Kidd come in...and Kidd tackles Lewis out of her boots! COACH Cannon Kidd has had months to build her hatred towards Brodie, and it's all coming out now! Kidd straddles the resident barroom brawler of the division and lets loose with a series of rapid-fire punches to the face! Kidd continues with these punches, left after right, left after right! The referee has to step in and physically yank the Kidd off of Brodie! Kidd and the referee get into an argument as he tries and hold her back from Brodie, giving Brodie enough time to get up, sneak in from behind, and ROCK Kidd from behind with a rabbit punch! Brodie grabs Kidd and whips her off to the ropes. Cannon Kidd comes off of the ropes and gets knocked right down with a big chop! Brodie goes to work with repeated stomps to the Kidd's head. Lewis pulls Kidd up by the hair, and recklessly tosses her into a neutral corner. Brodie then stiffs her in the face with a hard boot. COLE Unfortunately, here's where the realism sets in...the Kidd's VERY inexperienced, and Brodie Lewis is one of the most ridiculously tough human beings alive. Lewis pulls Cannon Kidd up to her feet and chops her HARD on the chest. Brodie dukes her in the face with a punch, then whips her to the other neutral corner. Brodie charges and connects with a big spear in the corner. Cannon comes stumbling out of the corner, and gets punched in the back of the head by Brodie, a blow that sends her down. Brodie pulls a groggy Kidd up and DDT's her back down. Brodie gets up and hits a falling headbutt strike to Kidd's face. Brodie then blatantly grabs the Kidd by the throat and chokes her on the mat, as the referee starts a count... ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Brodie breaks! Brodie yanks the Kidd up by the hair again, with her thumb practically buried in the Kidd's eye, then grabs her by the throat with both hands and tosses her into Team Two's corner. Brodie walks over there to get in offense...and the Benefactor tags herself in! COLE What an opportunist! The Benefactor snuck herself in when she knew that the opponent would be beaten down too severe to fight back. The Benefactor grabs at the Kidd, but the Kidd finds something within her to roll away, leap, and tag out to another masked competitor, Confusia! Confusia jumps over the top rope and goes completely nuts, running around in circles in the ring and yelling all sorts of gibberish, as The Benefactor looks on, confused. COACH Yeah...I don't get it either. Benefactor carefully positions herself, and as Confusia keeps running, she runs into a kitchen sink knee to the gut by the Benefactor! The Benefactor whips Confusia to the ropes, and Confusia runs into a back elbow on her way back. The Benefactor runs and comes off of the ropes, then hits a Scorpio-style flipping legdrop. The Benefactor slowly gets up, almost in a very cocky manner, and grabs Confusia's foot, then rolls her backwards to her feet...but Confusia shows that she was wise enough to play possum, as she hooks the Benefactor's arm and sends her over with an armdrag! The Benefactor rolls up to her feet and charges at Confusia, but gets sent off to the ropes with a bi paso (side-step), and runs right into a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster! Confusia fully stands up, and is in ripe position to hit a Russian legsweep! Confusia float back into a lateral press... ONE! TWO! Kickout! Confusia turns the Benefactor over into a grounded front facelock. Confusia packs on more pressure by somehow finding a way to do a headstand while continuing to crank on Benefactor's head and neck. Benefactor kicks her feet in pain, as the hold continues to punish her. Finally, The Benefactor is able to wiggle her head loose and slowly squeezes backwards out of the hold. Benefactor intelligently snaps her fingers away from herself, distracting the dim-witted Confusia long enough so that Benefactor can pop onto her feet and dropkick Confusia in the face, knocking her down! COACH That was quite clever... The Benefactor pulls Confusia up to her feet and sends her off with an Irish whip. Confusia comes off of the ropes, and rolls through a hiptoss attempt lucha-style. Confusia runs at Benefactor, but Benefactor sends Confusia off to the ropes with a bi paso of her own. Confusia leaps up the ropes instead of bounces off of them, and backflips over Benefactor as Benefactor charges at her. Benefactor bounces off of the ropes as Confusia lands on her feet, and Confusia hits a Japanese armdrag with a backflip! COLE Confusia gets right back in the game! Confusia chooses not to hold on for an armbar and gets up, as Benefactor rises to her feet in a dizzy daze. Benefactor goes for Confusia's leg, but Confusia spins around with her leg over Benefactor's bent body, then rolls herself over Benefactor and brings her over with a schoolgirl.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Benefactor immediately crawls away and tags out to Julie Sharcor, which leaves Confusia confused and causes her to tag out to Ashley Street. There's a buzz amongst the crowd, as "The Shark'" steps in to face her toughest opponent yet. Both competitors waste no time in sizing each other up, going right into an intense, almost sumo-like clinch/lock-up in mid-ring. Both wrestlers show off that they're very strong, but Street has no answer for Sharcor's size, as Julie ends up powering Ashley down to the mat with a judo-like legsweep. Shark goes into the guard position, but Street is savvy enough to grab Sharcor's knuckles to prevent any punching and maybe overpower her. Street then grabs a bodyscissors on Sharcor to maybe gain control. COACH Notice how, despite popular belief, being on the bottom half of a mount in a fight does not leave you defenseless. Street tightens her bodyscissors, leaving Sharcor with no other defense than to simply get up onto her feet, with Street still wrapped around her waist. Street grabs onto Julie's shoulders to try not to fall off, but Sharcor slams her down hard to the mat! Sharcor hooks Street's leg and turns her over into a half-crab, but Street is able to pull out and get to the ropes before Sharcor can fully apply it. Street re-adjusts her kneepad, as Sharcor basically stares a hole in Ashley. Street gets up, and the two competitors immediately collide in a big collar-and-elbow tie-up. Street is able to adjust that to apply a head-and-arm clutch (like the beginning of a flatliner/STO) on Sharcor, but Julie reverses with an over-hip judo throw. Street lands on her back, giving Sharcor the opening to apply a double-arm chicken wing on the mat. COLE I don't know whether to be surprised or not at how the rookie monster looks to be on the same level as the champ! Street slowly works her way up to her knees, with her arms still tied behind her back. But, Sharcor seems to know what Street is looking to go for, as she switches from the chicken wing to a single-arm reverse hammerlock, while pulling Street to a purely-vertical position. Sharcor immediately goes to hook Ashley's head, looking to convert to a cross-face chicken wing. But, Street finds a way to bend down and use her leverage to flip "The Shark" over her back! But, Sharcor keeps ahold of the arm and goes for a triangle armbar, as Ashley immediately locks her hands together to avoid it. Ashley realizes soon that she doesn't have the strength to fight the hold, so she simply leans down and turns it into a schoolgir variation... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH That's the first near-fall we've seen Julie Sharcor on the losing end of! Sharcor rolls back to her knees, as Ashley kneels right in front of her, shaking her finger "no" in a joking manner. Sharcor then begrudingly sticks her hand out, and Street shakes it. Sharcor walks back to her corner, disappointed, and tags in El Chica Generico. Generico leaps into the ring and begs Street to tag in Pantera Combatienta, which she does! COLE Here we go! Pantera walks into the ring calmly...then storms over and grabs Generico's hands quickly before she can do anything. Combatienta holds them out, almost like a Greco-Roman knucklelock, as she rolls onto her back, then bends her legs to position her calves behind Generico's armpits, which enables her to roll Generico into a sunset cradle... ONE! TWO! Generico rolls out! Generico rolls Combatienta backwards by her ankle, back onto her feet, then hooks her arms behind her to bring her down with a backslide... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Combatienta rolls out and immediately grabs a front facelock, pulling Generico up to her feet with it. Pantera switches her grip to that of a cravate, then swiftly and quickly snapmares Generico over. Pantera comes off of the ropes, grabs Pantera's legs on the way back, and goes for a folding press (aka Alligator Clutch, opponent folded in half at waist with all of your weight on their thighs), but the momentum of Pantera's charge allows Generico to roll all the way onto her stomach and crawl away. Generico looks over at Pantera and smirks, then grabs her hand, walks up the ropes, and leaps down, bringing Combatienta over with a flying headscissors into a grounded side headscissors. COACH I think I see what El Chica Generico is doing...instead of going balls-to-the-wall with brawling, she's trying to get under Pantera's skin by out-wrestling her and staying calm, as she knows that beating Pantera would hurt Pantera more than injuring her. COLE Also, I think a part of Generico wants to prove herself as a legitimate luchadore in the eyes of everyone out there. Combatienta kicks outward for a second, trying to escape in a panic, before calming down and bridging herself, then plants her hands on the mat and rolls backwards, to where she still is stuck in the headscissors, but is on her knees instead of her back. Pantera fakes an escape, then grabs the legs and rolls to her side for a form of a lateral press.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Generico still keeps her legs together, keeping Combatienta trapped in the headscissors. Pantera pounds the mat with her fists in frustration, then calms down and briefly does a headstand before popping her head out and landing on her knees, immediately grabbing Generico's legs so she can't move. Combatienta stands up and applies a cloverhold (wrap legs like a Texas Cloverleaf, but crank on knees instead of turning it over). Pantera cranks and twists on Generico's knees, trying to take out the flyer's top weapon. Generico finds an escape route, however, as she tries bridging with a headstand, then twists her body quickly to basically armdrag Pantera over with her legs! COACH El Chica Generico's proving the haters wrong, including the one she's wrestling! Pantera gets up, looking angry as sin while holding her back, and charges at Generico. Generico sends her off to the ropes with a bi paso. Combatienta comes off and gets lifted into a tilt-a-whirl manuever, but reverses it into an armdrag! Combatienta goes to one knee and sends Generico down with a legsweep as soon as she gets up, then comes off of the ropes. Generico rolls over onto her stomach for a dropdown, as Pantera leaps over her, then Combatienta comes off of the ropes again. Generico gets up just to get tornado-whipped off to the ropes by Pantera. Combatienta tries to lift Pantera for a tilt-a-whirl as she comes off of the ropes, but Generico reverses it into an awesome Deja Vu (double-rotation flying headscissors) that sends Combatienta sliding out of the ring! Pantera gets up in a daze on the floor, as Generico springboards to the top rope and hits an awesome corkscrew plancha into an armdrag on the floor! COLE That was awesome! While those two gather themselves on the outside, the next two in line, Valerie and Constance, cautiously enter the ring. Both competitors act VERY nervous, as the other wrestlers surrounding the ring pound the apron, causing the fans to clap their hands to the rhythm of that pounding. Valerie and Constance look around for an escape from having to wrestle one another, but can't find one. They finally shrug their shoulders and shake hands in mid-ring...then Constance slowly applies the loosest headlock you'll ever see, as Valerie feigns being hurt by it! Constance is seen laughing heavily, as the crowd boos loudly at the utter laziness. Valerie then "shoves" Constance off to the ropes, "causing" Constance to slowly walk to the ropes. Constance avoids actually bouncing off of the ropes, but comes back and lightly taps shoulders with Valerie, "shocked" to see that it didn't knock her down. COACH This is a ripoff! They both loudly say "Oh well!" and shrug their shoulders, then try to escape the ring. Constance is able to leave easily, but Valerie gets stopped at the apron by an angry Jenny Adams, who shoves her back into the ring! Adams enters the ring to replace Constance and start her team's batting order all over again, as Valerie scoots backwards, trying to beg off. Jenny looks around to the crowd, asking them if she should believe this. They loudly scream "NOOOO!". Valerie proves them right, going right to the eyes with an eyepoke from the thumb, then applying a headlock. CROWD BOOOOO! Valerie literally gets bored with the hold, so she goes right to a reverse hammerlock from behind. Adams is familiar with the situation however, and easily reverses with a go-behind into a reverse hammerlock of her own, to cheers from the crowd. Valerie reaches down for the legpull reversal, but can't get it, so she reverses with a drop toe hold, floated over to a front facelock, which she bridges with. Valerie cranks upward on Jenny's chin, as Adams screams loudly from the pain. But, she refuses to submit so easily. With blood rushing to her head quickly, Valerie rolls back from the bridged position into a regular front facelock. Valerie, again showing off her weakness (a short attention span), pulls Jenny up, while still keeping the front facelock on, then hooks her for a suplex, and spins her around into an inverted swinging neckbreaker! Valerie rolls right back onto her stomach, keeping the front facelock intact. COLE Say what you will, but Valerie's been like a shark with that grip on Jenny's head. Valerie continues to crank on the facelock, as the crowd starts to get behind Jenny... "JEN-NY!" "JEN-NY!" The crowd's chants help revive Adams, who slowly but surely starts to twist herself around, as Valerie, very animatedly, shakes her head in disapproval...and Jenny rolls to her side and reverses into a grounded reverse hammerlock! The crowd cheers, but Valerie gets to the ropes with her feet before they can get too excited. Adams breaks the hold immediately and gives Valerie room to breathe. Valerie takes all the time in the world to catch her composure. She keeps ahold of the ropes to make sure that Adams isn't legally allowed to attack her...but then sneak-attacks Adams with a headbutt to the gut! Valerie gets to her feet and applies another side headlock, but Adams is able to shoot Valerie off to the ropes before it can inflict too much punishment. Valerie comes off of the ropes, leaps over Adams's dropdown, then comes from the other end and ducks under Jenny's leapfrog. Valerie comes off of the first side again, as Adams rolls backwards for a monkey flip, but Valerie slows down, grabs Jenny's legs, lifts her in a wheelbarrow, and then tosses her up in the air, bringing her down with a brutal backbreaker! COACH Not nice! Valerie pulls Adams up by the hair quickly, avoiding threats from the referee, and delivers a stiff forearm to Jenny's back. Valerie hooks Jenny from the side and drops her hard with a snap side suplex, before turning her over and hitting an abrupt double stomp to her back. Valerie pulls Adams up again by the hair, and slaps her in the face, which draws the ire of the crowd. Valerie lifts Adams up and drops her across the knee with a side backbreaker, then lifts her up immediately and sends her down hard with a turnaround STO! Valerie goes for the cocky cover (neither leg hooked)... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Valerie looks to be VERY angry. She pulls Adams up with a front facelock, then drags her to her team's corner, where Valerie tags out to "Floggin'" Molly Matthews. Valerie yells at Molly to kick Jenny in the side as she holds her in a front facelock, but Molly refuses. Valerie walks to the outside of the ring, as Molly helps Jenny up. Molly and Jenny start to loudly converse... MOLLY "Tag out to the Kidd!" JENNY "No...I can keep going!" MOLLY "I just wanna wrestle someone fresh...." JENNY "No!" MOLLY "Suit yourself, but I ain't fighting you..." Molly then tags out to Brodie Lewis! Brodie tackles Molly to the ground, and both competitors trade STIFF punches to the face, reviving their brutal battle from the summer! These two go back and forth with the grounded punches, as Jenny's able to roll on top. This exchange gets so out of control that the referee, for the second time in the bout, has to seperate a fight with Brodie Lewis in it! He pulls Adams off of Brodie and holds her back, just long enough for Brodie to get up and nail a charging knee to Jenny's face! Adams goes down face-first, and Lewis nails her in the back of the head three times with right punches. Lewis pulls Adams up and goes after her neck with a DDT. Lewis goes right back to her primal instincts and strangles Adams with her bare hands once again! COLE This is barbaric! COACH Well, Brodie Lewis is pretty barbaric by nature! For some reason, Brodie lets go of the choke and pulls Adams up before the referee can initiate a count on the ground. Lewis then lets loose with a HARD chop to the chest. Brodie headbutts Jenny RIGHT in-between the eyes, then whips her off to the ropes. Brodie turns around, almost cockily, and doesn't see Jenny somehow walk up the ropes, backflip off of the top rope, and hit an incredible DDT! Adams immediately hops on Lewis and starts throwing punches again! COLE ...Yeah, I have no clue where Jenny gets this energy either. Adams pulls Brodie up to a bent positiion and starts wailing away with BRUTAL Kawada-style kicks to the face! One after one, each one harder than the last! After ten of them, Adams lets go, comes off of the ropes, and does a Red Star Press-style flip into a kick to the face! Adams goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Adams pulls her up with a front facelock, but Brodie fights it off with punches to the gut. Lewis tries an Irish whip, but Jenny plants her feet to the ground to block, then sends Brodie off to the ropes with one of her own. While Jenny positions for a back elbow, Brodie bounces off of the ropes and blind-tags the Benefactor! Lewis ducks the back elbow and slides out of the ring! Jenny turns around...right into a HYOOOOGE spear, the momentum of which flips the Benefactor over into a Northern Lights bridge... ONE! TWO! THREE! *********************** JENNY ADAMS (TEAM ONE) Eliminated By: Benefactor Eliminations: None Eliminated: 1st 5-6 ********************************* COLE Wow, of all of the people to be eliminated first... COACH Probably one of the top three favorites, and she's gone like THAT! Adams has to be pulled from the ring by a group of referees and taken to the locker room, as she tries attacking the Benefactor in an angry rage before being restrained. COLE Yeah, I don't blame her at ALL. The crowd is absolutely stunned at this development, but the match must go on. The Cannon Kidd enters the ring to face The Benefactor. Benefactor draws the young Kidd into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Benefactor is able to easily transfer that to a headlock, and use that to take her over with a headlock takeover. Cannon Kidd panics in the hold, but is able to turn Benefactor on her shoulders for a pin... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Benefactor rolls out and pulls the Kidd up in a clinch, then snapmares her over into a Dragon Sleeper. The Kidd gives away that, somehow, the hold isn't effecting her too badly, by bridging upward and trying an immediate escape, so The Benefactor plants her on the mat and goes for a lateral press... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Benefactor pulls Kidd up in a clinch and tosses her to her team's corner, where she immediately tags in Julie Sharcor... COLE This is smart strategy: keep the rookie in and pounce on her with multiple wrestlers. "The Shark" immediately kicks The Kidd right in the kidneys. Sharcor pulls her from Benefactor and sends The Cannon Kidd right down to the mat with a waistlock takedown. Sharcor holds the Kidd's face down into the mat and applies a hammerlock. Sharcor then adjusts her positioning so she can hold down the arm with her knee, then throws palm strikes to the back of the Kidd's head while holding it down with her other hand. She switches to closed fists, and the referee forces her to break the hold, which she does. Sharcor gives the Kidd room for a clean break, which Kidd uses to quickly shake the cobwebs off and go for a dumb flying knee attack. Sharcor easily catches her smaller opponent in mid-air, and tosses her overhead with a suplex-type toss, right on her neck! COLE NOT GOOD! Sharcor looks like she's now pissed, as she quickly pulls The Cannon Kidd up and delivers a HARD snap powerbomb, keeps ahold of Kidd's leg, and turns it over into a stretch muffler (Brock-Lock)! The Kidd screeches in pain from the hold, reaching out for anything she can grab. Sharcor cranks on the Kidd's knee, but it's not enough to keep the Kidd from crawling to the ropes and getting a rope break. Sharcor backs up, but as the Kidd's pulling herself up with the ropes, Sharcor goes to charge at her to prevent a situation like last time...but the Kidd moves and Sharcor takes a dive to the outside! COACH Looks like speed and smarts overtook the beast! The Kidd looks down at the floor, shocked at what she's done! The crowd reacted heavily to it, as Sharcor simply looks up, with the reddest face you ever will see! The Kidd kind of smirks at her, then turns around...and walks right into a springboard armdrag from El Chica Generico that sends her to the outside! COLE What goes around comes around! COACH But what goes around wasn't as cool as what came around! Confusia bolts into the ring to replace her departed partner, and runs right into a bi paso! Confusia comes off of the ropes, walks under Generico's leapfrog, then leaps over the dropdown on the way back. Confusia then steps under a leapfrog, comes off of the ropes again, and leaps over a dropdown. Confusia comes off of the ropes again, runs under a leapfrog, and leaps over a drop-down on the way back. Confusia comes off of the ropes, steps under a leapfrog AGAIN, and leaps over a drop-down AGAIN on the way back. Confusia then stops dead in her tracks...and scratches her chin in confusion. She shrugs her shoulders and questions the referee in babble-speak, to which he shrugs as well. She then shoves Generico and converses with her... CONFUSIA Bah bah! Eddity boo-bah! Bah! Bah! Escargot Chevrolet TIto Santana! GENERICO Hmm...(scratches chin) (motions actions with her hands) Leap...drop, run-run. Leap...drop, run-run. CONFUSIA HUH? GENERICO Um...Senor Perfect Hennig....Jose Powers...El Dandy... CONFUSIA El Dandy? GENERICO EL DANDY! CONFUSIA (growls, then walks over and bites the stuffing out of a turnbuckle pad, THEN spits the padding in her mouth out on the mat and draws a line with her foot and flexes her biceps) GUN SHOW! BANG! BANG! GENERICO (covers her mouth laughing at Confusia) El Silly Goose! (slaps referee's chest, they both laugh) CONFUSIA (infuriated) Urgh-ugh-ugh ziddy uber boo-boo...MEGAPOWERS EXPLODE! GENERICO (puffs face out and points finger at Confusia) YOOOOOOU! (Hulks up for no reason) ...and all of this results in an armdrag from Generico! Both competitors bounce back up, and Generico does a standing leap into a hurricanrana cradle! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both are up, and Generico gives Confusia a bi paso again. This time, Confusia is clever enough to bust out a handspring into a backwards thrust leap that ends up in a wheelbarrow victory roll variation... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Generico rolls it back into a cradle of her own, but repositions herself to where it's a prawn hold with a bridge... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Generico comes off of the ropes again, but gets caught in a waistlock go-behind by Confusia, straight into a state roll prawn hold... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Confusia then comes off of the ropes and leaps over a dropdown by Generico, then comes back and does a leaping roll over a low dropkick by Generico. Confusia leaps onto the second rope and goes for a quebrada (lionsault), but Generico avoids it. Confusia lands on her feet, but Generico comes off of the ropes behind her and nails a jumping heel kick! Generico goes for a lateral press... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Generico pulls Confusia up quickly and goes for an Irish whip. Confusia comes off of the ropes, as Generico bends down for a backdrop. Confusia sees this and tries to avoid it by jumping on Generico's back and going for a Code Red. But, Generico is able to flip her over forward into a powerbomb attempt...that Confusia reverses into a hurricanrana into a cradle! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Confusia immediately bolts off and comes off of the ropes, knowing Generico'll get back up quickly (which she does). Confusia goes for a Yakuza kick, but Generico reverses with a backsweep legtrip! Generico stands up and hits a great standing moonsault into a pin! ONE! TWO KICKOUT! Generico takes a quick breather on her knees, then pops up and yells "OLE!", to which the crowd responds with an "OLE!" of their own. Generico then tries to pull Confusia up, but gets a headbutt to the gut for her troubles. Confusia hooks Generico and lifts her for a vertical suplex...then drops her gut-first on her knee. Generico rolls onto her back. Confusia charges to the ropes, then does a handspring where she lands on her feet with a double stomp onto Generico's gut! COLE That'll make you lose your lunch in a hurry! Confusia gets up, runs and leaps onto the second rope, and hits a version of the Armani Shoe Exchange (lionsault twisted into senton), then goes for the cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Confusia gets frustrated and pulls Generico up with a front facelock, then drags her over to her corner and tags out to Ashley Street. Confusia passes off the front facelock to Street, then goes to the floor. Street quickly converts the front facelock to a snapmare, and goes into a grounded chinlock. Generico reaches out (literally) for fan support, which she gets in the form of clapping, which gives her the strength to slowly turn herself over. Generico from there is able to somehow bust out a headstand, the momentum of which she follows into falling on her BUTT, which allows her to escape the chinlock and go right into a headlock. COLE Definite change of pace between these two allies... Generico pulls Street up to a standing position with the headlock, but gets shoved off to the ropes. Generico comes off of the ropes and ducks a clothesline, then tries for a handspring elbow...which Street is able to reverse into a kneeling Blue Thunder Bomb! Street goes for a lateral press! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Street then pulls Generico up and delivers a side suplex that positions her closer to the other team's corner, then tags out to Pantera Combatienta. Pantera pulls Generico up immediately and sends her off to the ropes with an Irish whip. The worn-out Generico comes off of the ropes and runs into a backsweep legtrip, then Combatienta comes off of the adjacent ropes and hits a running back senton onto Generico's weakened stomach. Combatienta rolls Generico onto her back and applies an inverted version of the Cattle Mutilation where the giver is facing the opposite direction, placing her head in between Generico's shoulderblades and trying to stretch out Generico's mid-section. Generico struggles in the hold, as the crowd gets behind her.. "GEN-ER-I-CO!" *clap clap clap clap clap* "GEN-ER-I-CO!" Generico tries desperately to escape, but is unable to. But, she refuses to tap out to Pantera, the woman who embarrassed her on national TV. Finally, Combatienta gets frustrated and turns the hold over into a backslide of sorts... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Pantera immediately grabs a front facelock, pulls Generico up, and grounds her again with a snapmare before wrapping on a behind headscissors (they're both facing the same way), then turning it over and moving her knees and thighs up and down to drive Generico's face into the canvas (ala Alex Shelley)! COACH Disrespectful AND dangerous! Pantera rolls that into an inverted victory roll cradle... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The crowd cheers, as Pantera pounds the mat in frustration. The Benefactor then tries to get into the ring, but the referee goes over to try and get her out. This proves to be a fake-out just to disract the referee, as Constance immediately slides into the ring, grabs El Chica Generico, and performs the Package Piledriver (an illegal move in this bout) on her! After spiking her on her skull, Constance tells Pantera to "make her tap out!" sarcastically. Constance slides out of the ring as the referee turns around and sees Pantera applying a triangle choke...Generico's out cold, so the referee starts the hand-drop test.. It's raised..and it FALLS! COLE NO! It's raised again...and it FALLS! COACH This is a pile of crap! It's raised a THIRD TIME...AND IT FALLS! ******************** EL CHICA GENERICO (TEAM TWO) Eliminated: 2nd Eliminations: None Eliminated By: Pantera Combatienta 5-5 ************************** COLE Both teams are down one wrestler now, but it shouldn't be that way after this crap! Generico's completely unconcious, and needs to be helped to the back by officials. Valerie strolls into the ring, assuming that Pantera Combatienta and her are totally cool with one another after that scheme with her partner Constance. Valerie throws her hand out for a handshake, and Pantera shakes it... ..but then shakes her finger "no" and pulls Valerie in for an armdrag! Valerie rolls out of the ring and throws a fit at ringside to the fans' delight! COACH So wait...Pantera Combatienta is a total bitch when it comes to Generico, but otherwise is pretty cool? *scratches bald head* Molly Matthews runs into the ring to replace Valerie, and gets sent off with a bi paso to the ropes. Pantera tries a hiptoss, but Molly lands on her feet. Combatienta is able to reposition her arm and snapmare Matthews down to the mat. Combatienta then backs up and nails a quick twisting, falling headbutt. Pantera then goes through the motions of a figure-four-leglock...but with Molly's arms instead, forcing Molly to apply a choke on HERSELF. Combatienta sits down with it, and with her free leg, chooses to deliver Molly sitting bootscrapes. COLE The veteran of the mat wars is stretching out a young'un. Molly kicks the mat in pain, and the crowd gets behind her with clapping. This clapping intensifies to the point to where Molly is able to roll fully onto her stomach, and allowing her to easily pull her head out of this predicament. Molly then stands up and is able to pull her arms out, allowing her to go up and position Combatienta for a camel clutch...but then rolls both of them sideways...and again...and again...and again... and right into a Gedoh Clutch pin... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH That's commonly known in wrestling circles as the "Kiwi Roll", a move, believe it or not, popularized by the Funks in the 60's. Both competitors come up to their feet, and Pantera tries for a Shawn Capture (leap into a short-arm-scissors takeover), but Molly drives her down to the mat and goes into a schoolgirl.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Molly gets to her feet before Combatienta, and tries pulling her up...but gets an upward palm thrust to the jaw for her troubles. Pantera snapmares her over, and delivers a STIFF toe hick to Matthews' chest that keeps her completely horizontal. Combatienta does a standing turn and hits a standing moonsault into a pin.. ONE TWO! KICKOUT! Pantera pulls Molly up and snapmares her closer to Pantera's team's corner, then Pantera tags out to Constance, who pulls Molly up and gives her an Irish whip. Molly comes off of the ropes and runs right into a top elbow (ala Dusty Rhodes) by Constance. Constance comes off of the adjacent ropes and hits a big elbow drop, right into a cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Constance goes right into a chinlock. The referee checks Molly and isn't paying attention to Constance...so she puts her feet up on the ropes! The crowd boos, as she's doing this right underneath the ref's nose. Right when he's ready to look up, she drops her feet. The referee questions her about the shaking ropes and the fans' screams, but she shrugs it off. The referee goes back to checking Molly, so Constance does it again! The referee's unaware, but the fans are repeatedly screaming about it. The referee goes to look, but Constance drops her feet again before he can see. He shrugs it off this time, and goes back to checking Molly. Constance goes back and does it for a third time! This time, a fan yells something directly at her, and Constance takes offense to it. So, she gets into an argument with the fan. As these two argue, Constance doesn't notice that the referee's looking up and looking directly at her feet on the ropes...so he shoves them off and orders the hold to be broken! COLE Finally! Constance pulls Molly up slowly and grabs a waistlock. But, Molly quickly reverses with a go-behind into a waistlock, then charges Constance forward, trying to bounce off of the ropes for momentum for a state roll prawn hold...but Constance holds onto the ropes and goes nowhere, while Molly rolls backwards. Constance stands there and taunts the crowd by pointing at her brain...so Molly gets back up, grabs the waistlock, and rolls her back into a prawn hold.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Molly comes off of the ropes...but Constance kips up and drops Molly with a Sky High powerbomb on the way back! Constance chooses to pose instead of pin Molly after it, causing the crowd to boo again. Constance pulls Molly up, and sends her off with another Irish whip. Molly comes off of the ropes and runs right into a hard superkick to the jaw! Constance then swings herself around and drops an elbow drop, then covers Molly... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Constance angrily pulls Molly up with a front facelock and tags in the Cannon Kidd... COLE For the sake of her team, tagging in the Kidd might be a dumb move. The Kidd is not only inexperienced, but she's friends with Molly and will probably take it easy on her, making it really easy for their opponent-in-peril gameplan to go array. The Kidd grabs a headlock, but like predicted, Molly's able to easily escape and send the Kidd down to the mat with a front legsweep, then roll her into a Gedoh Clutch pin... ONE! TWO! THREE! ******************************** THE CANNON KIDD (TEAM ONE) Eliminated: 3rd Eliminated By: "Floggin'" Molly Matthews Eliminations: None 4-5 *********************************** COLE Out of nowhere... The Kidd pounds the mat in frustration, but respectfully gets right back up and shakes Matthews' hand. As the Kidd leaves to go to the back, Confusia comes from behind Molly and tries grabbing her for a side suplex. Molly turns around in shock and gets lifted onto Confusia's shoulders, then dropped with a Death Valley Driver! Confusia then runs off to the ropes, but does a semi-619 in the ropes before letting go and letting the momentum allow her to fly right back into the ring with an elbow drop on Molly! Confusia goes for the cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Confusia comes up on both knees and yells to the heavens in frustration. She pulls Molly up, and yells "UNCANNY ILLUSION HAMMER!" That's the name of her whirlybird into an Ace Crusher, which she then goes for. But, in mid-rotation, Molly slips out, leaps backwards, and makes the tag to Brodie Lewis! Brodie storms in and knocks Confusia down with a big right hook! Brodie pulls Confusia up, kicks her in the stomach, then powerbombs her right on top of her damn neck! Brodie reaches down without looking, grabbing the laces of Confusia's mask, and loosens them enough that Confusia is able to slip it off of her head and make it look like Brodie did it! Confusia covers up, though she still has a Glacier-style mouth-mask on, and the referee sees this...and he calls for a disqualification! ***************** BRODIE LEWIS (TEAM TWO) Eliminated: 4rd Eliminated By: Confusia Eliminations: None 4-4 ********************** Lewis grabs the referee and throws him down! She grabs Confusia by the head and tosses her to the outside! Lewis goes nuts with repeated stomps to her back, then grabs any chair she can get her hands on, and tosses it onto the prone body of young Confusia! An entire crew of officials come out to break this incident up, as Lewis grabs a singular chair and repeatedly slams it down on Confusia! It takes all ten referees to finally get Lewis to the locker room, in all of her rage! COLE Talk about a poor sport! COACH Honestly...I think Brodie's just mad that she doesn't get to fight again until she goes out drinking at the pub later! Confusia lays outside the ring, left for dead, as Ashley Street and the Benefactor run at each other in the ring. Benefactor runs right into a clothesline, then pops back up and runs into a snap powerslam into a lateral press! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Ashley pulls the Benefactor up and sends her off with an Irish whip, but the Benefactor ducks a clothesline on the way back and is able to leap to connect with a STIFF step-up enziguri! Ashley stands there, dazed as hell from the hard blow to the skull. Benefactor comes off of the ropes and goes for what's referred to as the Southern Lights Spear (the move she used to beat Adams; a spear into a Northern Lights bridge), but Street sees it coming and hits Benefactor RIGHT in the face with her knee! Street then attempts a powerbomb, but the Benefactor lands on her feet to block it, then gets kicked in the knee by Street, which sends her down to one knee. That's perfect position for the Shining I Hate Your Face (Shining Kick to face), which Street goes for, but Benefactor ducks and slides out of the ring! COLE That was damn close! Julie Sharcor comes in, and Street charges at her with a running kick, which "The Shark" catches and reverses into a dragon screw legwhip, which she uses to go right into a standing legbar! Street doesn't have any nifty technical reversal...she just flat-out starts kicking Sharcor in the face with her other foot as hard as she can! Sharcor briefly lets go after being rocked by one of the kicks, but grabs back onto both legs, lifts Street, and drops her with a HARD lifting powerbomb, which she converts right into a high-angle Cloverleaf! Street immediately reaches out in pain, and the crowd gets behind her.. "ASH-LEY!" "ASH-LEY!" Street reaches out and slowly crawls towards the ropes...the crowd's volume increases...Ashley grabs forward...and gets a rope break! Street slowly pulls herself using the ropes after Sharcor breaks the hold, but gets sent to the outside after a BIG running kick to the side of her head by Sharcor! Pantera Combatienta springboards off of the top rope for her entrance into the ring, but gets swatted down with a lariat by Sharcor! Sharcor sends Pantera off of the ropes with an Irish whip, then sends her down with a big Yakuza kick! "The Shark" turns around, comes off of the ropes, and hits a big running kneedrop! Sharcor pulls Pantera up and gives her a snap butterfly suplex, then chains that into a snapping brainbuster, which then gets chained into a reverse Fisherman's side suplex (leg cradled inward on regular fisherman suplex)! Sharcor pulls up Pantera immediately and gives her a BRUTAL release German suplex! Pantera gets pulled up by "The Shark" and lifted to be dropped with a HARD powerbomb! She's lifted, and dropped with another...and another...and another...and another...and another...and another...and another...and another! Ten powerbombs in all! The referee starts a KO ten-count.. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! Pantera's knocked out cold! **************** PANTERA COMBATIENTA (TEAM ONE) Eliminated: 5th Eliminated by: Julie "The Shark" Sharcor Eliminations: El Chica Generico 3-4 ***************** COACH Serves her right, after the crap with Generico! Constance rushes into the ring...and pulls a knife out of her boot?!?! Either way, while the referee's rolling Pantera out of the ring, she tosses it at Sharcor, who catches it, and falls down, holding her side. The referee turns around, and believes he's seen a stabbing! He calls for the bell, and "The Shark" has been DQ'd! ******************* JULIE "THE SHARK" SHARCOR (TEAM TWO) Eliminated: 6th Eliminated By: Constance Eliminations: Pantera Combatienta 3-3 ***************** COACH That was...different. Sharcor drops the knife, grabs the referee, and puts him in a rear naked choke! Within seconds, he's out cold, and the same ten refs who had to escort Brodie to the back have to pull Sharcor off of the referee. The referee has to be carried out and is replaced. Valerie comes in...and immediately tags out to avoid facing her partner. "Floggin'" Molly Matthews runs into the ring, but Constance kips up and DDT's Molly. Constance keeps ahold of the front facelock, pulls Molly up, and hits a front face suplex. Constancer pulls Molly up and sends her off to the ropes. Constance catches her on the way back with a knee to the gut into an abdominal stretch, but Molly reverses immediately with a hiptoss! Molly tries to tag out, but Constance grabs her ankle and trips her to block it. Constance keeps ahold of Molly as she gets up, then lifts Molly onto her shoulder for a Bulldog Powerslam...but sits down into a gutbuster, then goes for a cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Constance immediately goes into a grounded cobra clutch from there. Molly reaches out for crowd support, as they start clapping in rhythm in support of Matthews. Matthews slowly is able to pull herself up, as Constance tries holding her down but is unsuccessful. Molly can't elbow her way out of this one...so she leaps up, pushes off of the second rope, and tries for the Bret Hart pin counter to the clutch! But, Constance saw it coming and reverses with a cobra clutch suplex, dumping Molly RIGHT ON TOP OF HER HEAD! Constance, for some reason, chooses to leave the ring rather than go for the pin. Confusia is supposed to come in to replace Constance, but she's still out cold at ringside. The referee starts counting her out, as Molly is basically left for dead in mid-ring.. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! ..Confusia is on her knees.. FIVE! SIX! Confusia's crawled over to the apron... SEVEN! EIGHT.. ..Confusia's got one leg on the apron.. NINE! TE...Confusia's rolled back in! Confusia slowly pulls herself up, then tries pulling Molly up. But, Molly seemed to have been just playing possum for at least a couple of seconds, as she's able to pull Confusia right down into a small package... ONE! TWO! THREE! ************** CONFUSIA (TEAM ONE) Eliminated: 7th Eliminated By: "Floggin'" Molly Matthews Eliminations: Brodie Lewis 2-3 *************** Confusia's too physically beat-down to do anything about the loss, as she just slowly straggles to the locker room. Ashley Street comes into the ring and pulls Molly up for a headlock. Molly squezes her head out and tries for a schoolgirl roll-up.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The momentum of the kickout somehow sends Molly onto the second rope, looking like she's trying to hang on to stay in the ring...but before she fully gets back in, Street dives over to shove her out! COACH It looks like Street gave her friend a needed break! The Benefactor runs into the ring and tries to attack Street from behind, but Ashley turns around before Benefactor gets there! Benefactor drops down to her knees and begs for forgiveness. Street doesn't fall for it, and nearly kicks Benefactor's head into next weekend with a buzzsaw kick! Street then goes nuts with stomps all over Benefactor's body, as she tries to crawl out of the ring! Street finally simply pulls her back in, then up and sends her off with an Irish whip. Benefactor comes off of the ropes and runs right into a HIGH back body drop! Benefactor bounces off of the mat, holding her back. Street pulls her up, hooks a waistlock, and hits a big release German suplex! Benefactor's down on her knees, holding her back and still trying to beg off..and gets punted in the chest for her troubles! Street then positions her bending and lifts her for a running Lygerbomb! But, Benefactor slips out from behind. Street turns around and gets knocked down wihth a superkick. Benefactor takes a minute to breathe, then looks like she's trying to set up some sort of running move for when Street gets up. Out of nowhere... COLE Is that...? COACH Jenny Adams has re-appeared, and she's come out of the crowd! Adams leaps over the guardrail and trips Benefactor up before she can do anything! Benefactor comes back up on one knee as Street gets up, Street sees this and charges forward...SHINING I HATE YOUR FACE! Ashley goes for the cover... ONE! TWO! THREE! ************* BENEFACTOR (TEAM TWO) Eliminated: 8th Eliminated By: Ashley Street Eliminations: Jenny Adams 2-2 **************** COACH That sends Team Two back down to a 3-2 advantage! Benefactor's basically out cold, and is rolled out of the ring as Adams is forced back to the locker room by security. Valerie comes into the ring and takes advantage of the moment, punting a downed Street in the stomach. Valerie lifts Street up at her side, and drops her with a side backbreaker, then keeps ahold of her and drops her with another. Valerie grabs Street's arm and head for a cobra clutch and drops her onto her knee back-first with it. Valerie then grounds Street and applies a bow-and-arrow surfboard. But, Street's not worn down nearly enough and is able to simply turn herself over onto Valerie for the cover... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both come back up, and Valerie gives Street a knee to the gut. Valerie goes for a side suplex, but Street blocks. She goes for it again, and Street performs a standing switch into a waistlock, and drops Valerie on her head with another German suplex! Ashley crawls over to her corner and tags in Molly Matthews! Molly waits until Valerie is up, albeit in a daze. Molly charges at her, then gives her a flying headscissors! Valerie pops back up, and runs right into a jumping heel kick to the face. Valerie is pulled up to her feet, as Molly leaps onto the second rope, then jumps off and brings her down with a hurricanrana into a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Molly pulls Valerie up and sends her into the corner with an Irish whip. Matthews charges at Valerie and goes for a monkey flip! But, Valerie catches the legs, flips Molly over, and nearly kicks her head off with a Yakuza Kick! Valerie goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! ******** FLOGGIN' MOLLY MATTHEWS (TEAM TWO) Eliminated: 9th Eliminated By: Valerie Eliminations: Cannon Kidd ****************** COLE We're down to Valerie on Team Two versus Ashley Street and Constance on Team One! COACH I wouldn't call this situation a "handicap" for anyone other than Ashley Street, who I'm sure will somehow end up the victim of an Angels' conspiracy somehow. Constance comes back into the ring, the Angels slap hands, and Constance leaves the ring again. Ashley comes back in like a house of fire with repeated forearms to Valerie's face! Ashley then comes off of the ropes...but gets tripped up by her own "partner" Constance! Street turns around to yell at her, but Valerie attacks Ashley from behind with a forearm to the back of her head! Valerie then lifts Street up on her shoulders and goes for an airplane spin, with the crowd counting the rotations... ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! ELEVEN! TWELVE! THIRTEEN! FOURTEEN! FIFTEEN! Valerie sits Street down...but Street gets right back up, showing no ill dizzy effects! Valerie charges at her with a kick, but Street catches it and sends her over with a dragon screw legwhip. Valerie comes up on one knee, and Ashley goes for the Shining I Hate Your Face, but Valerie ducks it! Valerie brings Street over with a schoolgirl with her feet on the ropes... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Valerie pulls Ashley up and tries for a powerbomb, but Street reverses with a bridging back body drop pin.. ONE! TWO! Valerie bridges upward and twists into a backslide... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Valerie comes up on one knee as Street rolls back...Street goes for a Shining I Hate Your Face out of nowhere, but Constance pulls her friend out of harm's way! They stall on the floor, arguing with fans...and don't see Street prepping up to dive on them, as she goes through the ropes and hits a tope suicida on both! The crowd roars! Street pulls Valerie back up and throws her into the ring. Street pulls her up, lift her, and drops her with a powerbomb to which she holds her on her shoulders afterwards.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Street turns Valerie over by the ankle, back onto her feet, and kicks her in the back of the knee, forcing her into a kneeling position...SHINING I HATE YOUR FACE! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! ****************** VALERIE (TEAM TWO) Eliminated: 10th Eliminated By: Ashley Street Eliminations: Molly Matthews 2-0 ********************* COLE Well, this is it! "Teammates" now have to battle one another! Constance versus Street, and the winner wins the Cibernetica! Constance slowly and cautiously slides into the ring, then begs for forgiveness, which Street doesn't fall for. But, Constance headbutts her in the gut before she can do anything about it. Constance gets up, knees Street in the mid-section, and brings her over with a Northern Lights Suplex.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Constance gets up and hits a kneedrop to the kidneys. Constance then pulls Ashley up, lifts her on her shoulders, and does a Fit Finley Roll, then kips onto her feet, leaps to the second rope, and does a double foot stomp! She goes for the cover.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Constance pulls Ashley up and does a Rude Awakening neckbreaker, then pulls her right back up, hooks Ashley under her arm, and lifts her...T-Bone Brainbuster! Constance goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Constance pulls Ashley up and hooks her in a waistlock...bridging German suplex! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Constance pulls Ashley up again, as the fans chant.. "ASH-LEY!" "ASH-LEY!" Constance actually attempts to lift Street up for a Burning Hammer...she slowly but surely gets Street up, but Street is able to punch her way out of the move. Ashley then lifts Constance and drops her with a Burning Hammer of her own! Ashley goes for the cover... ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT! COACH That was a close one! As soon as Constance's shoulder came off of the mat, Ashley hooked it, along with Constance's head, and rolled her over into a cobra clutch choke with bodyscissors! The fans are chanting.. "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" Constance is turning blue! She has her hand up, trying to reach for something.. COLE Could this be...? Constance is wiggling her fingers.. COACH It might be.. ...AND SHE TAPS! ************ CONSTANCE (TEAM ONE) Eliminated: 11th Eliminated by: Ashley Street Eliminations: Julie "The Shark" Sharcor *************** BUFFER Your winner of the Torneo Cibernetica...YOUR OAOAST Women's Champion of the WOOOOORLD! Ashley STREEEEEEEEEET! COLE What a victory! The Women's Champion just outlasted ELEVEN of the toughest women in the entire wrestling world, and came out the victor! Fans throw streamers in the ring to show respect to the champion, as they chant her name! "ASH-LEY!" "ASH-LEY!" The crowd is on their feet, as Ashley rolls out of the ring and is handed her belt by a ring attendant! More ring attendants rush down to check to see if Constance is still concious. Molly Matthews, the Cannon Kidd, El Chica Generico, & Jenny Adams all come out to congratulate their comrade COLE A job well-done by a young woman we are proud to have reigning as the top female wrestler alive today! ***************************** GENE That's it for us. Un

.......out onto the ladder earlier. He's still laid out on that side of the ring. And he may not get up at all. As Joseph and Black go out of sight, The Marv finally comes back to his senses. There to meet him is Johnny Jax. Jax nails a series of right hands, before whipping Marv across the ring. Marv narrowly avoids the upright ladder, bouncing off the far ropes and connecting with a flying forearm! And a standing dropkick! A second dropkick! And a thir...NO! Jax brushes it away, elbowing Marv in the back of the head. Jax drops another elbow, before pulling up The Marv and backing him into the corner. A quick exit, Jax then grabs a steel chair and slides in, setting it up in front of Marv. Jax then jogs to the opposite corner and charges, looking to use the chair as a springboard...but he gets cut off but Hell Mel and a diving clothesline!! COLE The Champs are coming back here! Up staggers Jax, as the Sk8ter Boiz regroup. They each lift Jax with an arm and execute a double inverted atomic drop. Followed by a double clothesline! And The Boiz are on fire. Until it's put out, by Scotty Static... *CRACK!* *CRACK!* ...with a chairshot to the back for each Boi! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Static holds his back in pain as he drops the chair, helping Johnny Jax to his feet. The GPX then set about on a plan, as Static exits the ring and rummages underneath, leaving Jax to put the boots to the Boiz. Rolling back in, Static has a leather strap! And he puts it to use, whipping The Marv across the back! He then whips Hell Mel, again across the back. Both Sk8er Boiz groan in pain, as Jax picks up Hell Mel and whips him across the ring. Both GPX members take an end of the strap and look to use it as a clothesline on Mel as he comes back. Mel ducks underneath though, hitting opposite ropes. Again The GPX try to use the strap. But Hell Mel sacrficies himself, diving across the middle of the strap, causing it to fold in the middle and pull Static and Jax head-first into each other! Away they staggers, as both Boiz are up...STEREO SUPERKICKS!! Down go The GPX! Leaving just The Sk8er Boiz up and ready to retrieve their titles. But not for long, as Leon Rodez has recovered from the Black chairshot and stops Mel's climb, before jabbing Marv... ...jabbing Mel... ...jabbing Marv... ...jabbing Mel... ...jabbing Marv... ...blowing the kiss... *SMACK!* Enziguri to Hell Mel! *SMACK!* Backbrain Wheelkick to The Marv!! COACH MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT, YO~!, TIMES TWO!! With the champs, and all of the challengers (including his own partner) down and scattered about the ringside area, Leon readies the ladder for climbing, but takes a moment to catch his breath. He's barely up the ladder, his foot just resting on the second step, when ANOTHER ladder is slid into the ring by the former World Champion Brannigan! Aching, sore, and flying solo, Brannigan sets up the ladder next to Rodez's and starts climbing as well, running up his ladder right alongside Leon! COLE The chase for the championships is on! Who will get their first! Though Rodez had a head start, he's a bit more worn from having dealt with both the Sk8r Boiz just moments ago. Tony moves up the ladder as fast as he can, and reaches the same point as Rodez, just as Leon is extending his arm up trying to grab one of the belts! Tony fires an elbow into Leon's ribs, causing him to wince and pull his arm back, but Leon takes his left arm and swats it at Tony, cracking him across the chest with a chop! Tony holds onto the top of the ladder, making sure he doesn't lose his footing, then takes his leg and kicks the side of Leon's ladder...AND THE LADDER GOES TOPPLING OVER...WAIT! AS THE LADDER FALLS, LEON KICKS OFF THE TOP ROPE, PUSHING THE LADDER BACK TO A STANDING POSITION! Tony barely notices, as he's reaching up for the belts, and when Leon returns to his former position, he kicks Tony's ladder...BUT WHEN TONY FALLS, HE DOES THE SAME THING LEON DID! The crowd is going WILD, as both ladders are back to their original standing position, and the two men continue to duel atop them! CABOOSE Look at the intensity, the effort...neither man will back down! COLE These two especially have something to prove. Brannigan's trying to get the win single-handedly, while Rodez feels he owes it to Malibu and the other Originals to show them he's standing beside them during this Civil War! Rights. Lefts. Chops. Punches. Forearms. The war continues atop the two metal structures, as Brannigan and Rodez nail each other stiffly. In a last ditch effort to dispose of the nuisance, Brannigan kicks at the ladder Rodez stands on yet again, and pushes it away with his foot, sending it teetering over...but Leon leaps OFF the ladder, and throws his arm up, his hand wrapping around the support cable that the tag team belts are being hung from... LEON RODEZ IS HANGING IN MID-AIR! COLE Oh my God! He's almost 20 feet above the ring! The crowd shrieks and yells, their cheers mixed with shock and fright for Leon's safety. Tony reaches up, trying to pull the tag straps down while Leon clings to the cable for dear life, but every time Tony's hands are kicked away! Brannigan does his best to swat away Leon's kicks, as that's all Rodez can do. CABOOSE He's got to do something, ANYTHING to get down! COACH He can't let go though, it'd be suicide! Leon tries to get footing on the ladder, but as he does, Tony swats him away, not wanting him to save himself and thus ruin Black T's title chances. As Leon tries, Tony grabs his legs, holding him at bay before pulling Leon off the cable... ...AND DRIVING HIM FROM THE HEIGHTS ABOVE DOWN INTO THE CANVAS WITH A HIGH IMPACT OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE~!~!~!~!~! COACH WE NEED MEDICS! CABOOSE Medics? We need a spatula! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE Both gravity AND Tony were against Leon on that one, but Tony's hurting too! Neither Tony nor Leon even flinch, as they are laid out, eyes closed and possibly unconscious. The cameras close in on the two, when suddenly they cut over to the Sk8r Boiz, who are at ringside propping a table up once again! Mel, holding his head, backs away while Marv unfolds the table legs and stands it up, but without any warning, Zack Malibu comes out of NOWHERE, running across the ring and diving through the ropes with a tope, overshooting the table and crashing into Marv! COLE I didn't even know he was still alive, let alone able to do that! Mel looks on in sheer shock, but then pounces, jumping on Malibu as soon as he gets up, but Zack simply takes him by the arm and whips him into the guardrail to get him off his back! On the side of the ring, both of the GPX are coming too, but Malibu springs up on the apron and races across it, leaping into the air and leveling them both with his patented APRON RUN DIVING CLOTHESLINE~! "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" CABOOSE Look at him go, boys. Malibu isn't about to give up the fight just yet! He might not be giving up, but he's certainly feeling the effects of the match, as Zack needs the apron to help him up, and he's visibly favoring his back, as he slowly stands up straight. He gets up and sees Mel running towards him, but Zack quickly spins his body around and throws his arm out, flooring the co-champ with a discus lariat on the floor! Malibu falls down facefirst but quickly pushes himself up and moves around the side of the ring, pulling Marv up from against the guardrail...but catching a low blow for his trouble! With Zack stunned, Marv shoves him onto the table, then pounds and chokes Malibu for several moments to keep him weakened! COLE Look at the desperation in Marv's arsenal! He wants to make sure he and Mel walk out of here with the OAOAST Tag Titles! CABOOSE It's a coup for whoever wins. If the Boiz retain, they can claim victory over three tag teams consisting of major stars. If Black T win, it's another tag reign to add to their resume, and it feeds into Dan Black's dreams of domination. If the GPX win, then Drek Stone and the rest of the Upstarts have even MORE motivation, and if Zack and Rodez can pull off the win, then it shows unity in the locker room despite the claims of Drek that there is none amidst the Originals and the newer generation of superstars! With Zack sprawled out on the table, Marv rolls into the ring and heads for the near corner, climbing up the ropes. The fans gasp, knowing that another table (and body) is about to be broken...but at the last second, Tony Brannigan, who dragged himself to his feet with the help of the ropes, collapses forward and shoves the legs of Marv off the turnbuckles and crotches him on the top rope! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" COLE Did he mean to do that? CABOOSE Whether he did or he didn't, it's good news for Zack! Tony remains on all fours, still trying to get a second wind after driving Leon Rodez from up high above down to the ring. Marv remains in the crotched position, eyes scrunched shut and his jaw dropped in agony, as Malibu rolls off the table and starts to climb into the ring...but is pulled back to the floor by Mel! Mel, weilding a chair, takes a mighty swing...but Zack ducks under it, and the chair smashes against the edge of the table! Mel turns around, and pulls the chair up, ready to use it...BUT HAS IT SUPERKICKED INTO HIS FACE~! SCHOOL'S OUT + STEEL CHAIR=KNOCKED OUT SK8R BOI~! COACH That's even better news for Zack! Malibu rests against the apron, while blood trickles from the nose and lip of Mel. Malibu then reaches down and pulls the out-cold superstar from off the floor and rolls him onto the table. Malibu then hops up on the apron and sees Marv slowly trying to rise up off the turnbuckles, but Zack steps up off the apron and starts climbing, reaching through Marv's legs and pulling him across his shoulders while he stands up on the middle rope. Zack looks down at Mel on the table, then out to the crowd, who do nothing but encourage the most heralded superstar in OAOAST history. Malibu then springs off the middle rope, The Marv draped across his shoulders, and he flips forward, hitting the SOMERSAULT FIREMAN'S CARRY FROM THE SECOND ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE AND HELL MEL~! CABOOSE He just put Marv through the table and his own partner! COLE Another amazing move in a night of many, but Zack Malibu took as much out of himself as he did the Sk8r Boiz! The three men lay motionless, although Malibu is only groggy after having both of the tag champs break his fall. In the ring, Rodez is still out of it, while Brannigan is pulling himself up with the help of the ropes, until he's cracked across the back with a chair from Scotty Static! Brannigan goes down in a heap yet again, and now Scotty waves Johnny Jax in the ring. The two look up, then start climbing the ladder, one on each side, as the crowd jeers loudly, not wanting the GPX to get the win. As they make it about halfway up the ladder, the crowd suddenly comes alive with cheers for...DAN BLACK~!??!?! COLE Black is back! CABOOSE Who would have thought he'd ever get this reaction again! Bloodied and bruised, Dan Black storms through the crowd, coming back from his brawl with Stephen Joseph to come back to the TLC Match! Black hops the rail and slides into the ring, and Jax quickly warns Static, then leaps down to cut Dan off...but Black has none of it! He blocks Johnny's punch, then starts wailing away before wrenching Johnny's arm and then pulling him towards him and tossing him overhead with a head and arm suplex! Jax rolls across the canvas, and the furious Black then turns and reaches up, snaring the boot of Scotty Static and pulling on it...but Scotty pulls away! Black leaps up and swats at the feet of Scotty, trying to stop his climb...and he knocks then through the rungs, and now Static is hanging upside down on the ladder! Black smiles through the blood and pain as he sees his foe dangling upside down, and he stands under the ladder and reaches through the rungs, pulling back on Scotty's head and choking him out! Static flails his arms as Black won't let go, and then all of a sudden WHAM~! ZACK MALIBU RUNS UNDER THE LADDER AND SPEARS DAN BLACK OUT OF HIS BOOTS~! COACH YO~! Black has the wind taken out of him, while Scotty manages to slip his foot free and lets himself fall down to the canvas. Malibu then starts to climb, but jumps out of the way at the right second, as Johnny Jax stands up, ladder in hand, and tries ramming it into the back of Zack's head...but Malibu sidesteps it and the ladder is sent through the rungs of the standing ladder! CABOOSE First we've got wrestlers stuck in the ladders, and now we've got ladders stuck in the ladders! With the ladder braced horizontally, one end resting on a ladder rung, the other on the top rope, Jax backs away and charges at Malibu, but Zack steps out of the way and lets him hit the ropes, catching him on the rebound and presses him up into the air, then releases as he himself falls onto his back, but tucks his knees...AND JOHNNY JAX COMES DOWN GUT FIRST ONTO BOTH OF ZACK'S KNEES~! COACH That'll take the wind out of your sail! Malibu gets up, but is caught by Static with a LOW BLOW~ right away, dropping him to his knees! With Malibu disposed of and his partner wounded, Scotty moves to the side of the ladder he can actually climb, and starts his way up, again with no one to stop him...UNTIL LEON RODEZ STARTS TO MOVE~! COLE Look, look! Rodez is coming to! Rodez, who has been down and out since taking the Out of Body Experience from high above the ring, is mobile! He looks up and sees Static climbing the ladder, looking for another GPX title reign to begin tonight, but Leon runs and hops up on the horizontal ladder pinned inside the rungs of the standing one, then pushes himself to his feet, and runs up the steps of the ladder and hooks Scotty's arm as he's reaching up for the belt, hiptossing him from his side of the ladder, up and over...AND DOWN ONTO THE LADDER EXPOSED BELOW~! COACH I think it's broken! CABOOSE The ladder or his back!? Static bounces off the ladder and lands with a sick thud, face first, on the canvas. Leon looks down at the carnage below him, then moves up a few more steps, reaching upwards to claim the biggest prize in tag team wrestling today... ...AND CLAIMS THE OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES~! WE HAVE NEW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~! COLE It's over! Leon Rodez has done it for his team! DING! DING! DING! CABOOSE Nevermind his team, Leon Rodez has made good on his promise to The Originals! Rodez climbs down slowly, then hops down, barely able to catch himself as he lands with his feet on the mat. Clutching both tag titles, Rodez raises them both up in the air, a look of relief and joy emblazoned across his face. He leans over, still trying to catch his breath, as a groggy Zack Malibu comes over and stands face to face with him. Rodez looks up and looks at the belt in his right hand, then hands it to Zack, drawing another HYOOGE pop from the crowd! The duo embraces, and then each man raises their belt up in the air, showing them off for the world to see! COLE No matter what team won the belts, they deserved it after this encounter, but I've got to say, I'm relieved it was this team right here! CABOOSE What a way to gain experience as a team, a match like this their first time out, and they win it all! At ringside, the Sk8r Boiz are just getting to their feet, helping each other up until a slew of OAOAST staff and officials hit the ringside area, giving assistance to everyone in the match. Marv and Mel do not look happy, as they try to brush off the assistance and get in the ring, but think better of it and instead curse under their breath that they lost their straps. In the ring, Rodez and Malibu pose for a few moments before exiting, and Brannigan and Black are tended to, as well as Jax and Static, all of whom are still spread out across the ring, along with the various chairs, ladders, and table shrapnel. Exhausted, Malibu and Rodez decide to head up the aisleway and to the dressing room, not saying a word as they walk to the dressing room, but once they get to the ramp, they stop and turn around, raising the belts up high one more time. Calvin Szechstein's TLC Match was a success. Surely a ratings bonanza. It was one of the most exciting matches in company history. New champions were crowned... ...and it's thrown more fuel on the fire that's raging between the Originals and the Upstarts.

GENE Welcome back. The match you voted the Free TV Match of the Year took place on the September 8th HeldDOWN. People might think that WWE made TLC matches seem stale, but don't tell the guys that participated in the OAOAST's version that. Get ready for The Sk8ter Boiz, Black T, The GPX and The Usual Suspects facing off in T...L....C: ********************************************** Originally aired: 9/8/05 * DING * DING * DING * DING * "YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" The lights dim once again, a gold spotlight falling over Michael Buffer in the center of the ring. BUFFER This is the HeldDOWN~! main event of the evening, and it is the tables, ladders and chairs... "OH, MY!" BUFFER (CONT'D) ...match for the professional wrestling tag team championship of the wooooooorld! Sanction by the OAOAST Board of Directors; the only way to win is by climbing up the ladder and grabbing both title belts suspended on a cable wire above the ring. Introducing first, the challengers. The gold spotlights moves over from Buffer to the GPX, drawing boos. Scotty and Johnny hold their heads up with pride as Michael Buffer introduces them. BUFFER First, at a total combined weight of 407 pounds, they are the former two-time OAOAST Tag Team Champions of the Woooooooorld -- Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, the GEEEEEEE PEEEEEE EXXXXXX! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The GPX taunt the crowd then their opponents, especially the team of Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. The spotlights shines down on the aforementioned team. "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" BUFFER Weighing a combined 430 pounds, the team of "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLLEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN RRRRRRROOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ and the Franchise of the OAOAST, the former two-time Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorld...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Michael Buffer takes a step back as Black T walk up to the center of the ring, once again receiving a mixed reaction from the sold out crowd. The spotlight shines on them as they stand back-to-back. BUFFER Considered to be the greatest tag team in OAOAST history, the following team weighs in tonight at 496 pounds, the former two-time OAOAST tag team champions of the woooooorld, the "Trans-Atlantic Wrecking Crew," BLAAAACK TEEEEEEE! Dan and Tony remove their trenchcoat/robe while rotating around to show off their bodies to each section of the arena. Black crotches down in front of Tony and slashes his thumb across his throat as Brannigan flaunts a double bicep pose. "BOOOOOOOOO-- YEEEAAAAHHHH!" The spotlight shifts over to the Sk8ter Boiz. BUFFER And their opponents. Weighing a total combined weight of 345 pounds, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, the OAOAST Tag Team Champions of the Wooooooorld, THE SK8TER BOIZZZZZ! The Boiz remove their entrance attire and pump their fists, holding up the tag titles which they then hand over to the referee. The titles are strapped on the cable wire and lifted up in the air, drawing the attention of not only the fans but the competitors themselves. BUFFER Are you ready? "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" BUFFER Wrestling fans, are YOU ready? "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendence and the millions watching around the world, ladies and gentlemen... L-L-L-L-L-L-ET'S GET READY TO RRRUMBLLLLLLLE! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~ ! Once the pryo show is over, the bell is sounded by Michael Buffer, and the fans take their seats, watching in anticipation. Each team remains in a corner of the ring, as the 8 competitors exchange glances and glares... ...and then IT'S ON~! The GPX attack first, rushing the corner of the tag team champions and brawling with them, while Black T and the team of Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez following behind! Rodez pulls Static off of The Marv, and Tony Brannigan pulls Johnny Jax off Mel, and now the members of the GPX are having it taken to them! As the Sk8r Boiz recover, Malibu is tackled by Black, who rests on his shoulders and starts pounding on him, until Malibu flips Dan over onto his back. Across the ring, Tony staggers Jax with punches, then charges forward and rocks him with a lariat that knocks him over the top rope to the floor! Brannigan watches on, waiting for his opponent to get to his feet, but then turns around, almost as if he sensed The Marv rushing towards him. Brannigan ducks quickly, and The Marv can't stop now, so he finds himself elevated up into the air, backdropped over the ropes and down onto Johnny Jax! CABOOSE Cole, you owe me a sawbuck. COLE I do? CABOOSE I told you earlier, I'd bet you $10 that someone went airborne in the first 60 seconds. Cough it up, pretty boy. The crowd roars as The Marv is dumped, while in the ring, Dan Black is the victim of a standard back body drop, as Malibu sends him into the ropes and sends him into the air, only to come crashing down. Rodez and Hell Mel have Static backed into the corner, and each one takes turns kicking and chopping the hated Upstart before they each take an arm and whip him across the ring into the opposing corner! Static hits hard, and then Mel takes Rodez by the arm and whips him into the same corner, giving Leon some extra momentum to crush Static with a corner splash! Rodez backs up, waiting for Scotty to stumble out of the corner...but Mel quickly comes up behind Rodez and plants him with a quick belly to back suplex! CABOOSE That friendship still lasted longer than Coach's last relationship! COACH Ye...HEY! With Black down, Malibu comes to the aid of his partner, staggering Mel with right hands. The crowd watches on as Mel is backed up near the ropes, and behind this fight, Tony Brannigan is seen propelling himself over the top rope and crashes down on Johnny Jax and The Marv with a pescado! COLE High risk move from the old school tactician! Malibu continues to battle Mel, while Black snares a recovering Rodez in a facelock, then rocks him with a snap suplex. Static recovers in the corner and quickly hops up on the middle rope, but while many think he's about to dive on Leon, he targets Black, nailing him with a dropkick from the middle ropes! Scotty then puts the boots to Black, as Leon has rolled out to the apron. Static reaches down and pulls Black up, but Dan comes up to his feet and lifts Static, planting him with an inverted atomic drop! Scotty staggers, and within seconds of Static getting planted, Rodez pulls himself up on the apron and springboards in, diving over Black's head and landing on Static's shoulders, snapping him to the canvas with a huracanrana! "YYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Sweet lady what a move! You know, there might be three of us, but we're gonna have a hell of a time calling all the action tonight! Static quickly rolls out to the floor after taking the rana. Malibu whips Mel to the ropes, but Mel slides through Zack's legs on the rebound and pulls Zack down by the back of his head and follows up with a standing moonsault! Rodez looks to come to the aid of his partner, but Black stuns Rodez with a chop, and another, and another, until Rodez fires back with a series of right hands, much to the delight of the crowd! Black cuts off that flurry real quick, catching Leon with a knee to the gut, then takes Leon and tosses him out to the floor through the ropes! Black steps back, and is spun around by Mel, but as soon as he is Black drives him down to the canvas with an STO! Mel rolls out of the ring, and Black turns to see Malibu pushing up from the canvas, then charging forward and delivering a clothesline with such impact that it sends the both of them spilling to the floor! CABOOSE The ring has cleared, ringside is cluttered, and we're yet to see a ladder! Right on cue, a ladder is slid into the ring by Johnny Jax of the GPX. COACH And we're also yet to see hot women in bikinis... ... COACH ...damn it! As Jax goes to climb back in, he's yanked off the apron by Brannigan, and then has his face rammed into it for good measure! Jax stumbles around in a daze, while Brannigan pulls the apron up and reaches under it, finding a steel chair! He takes the chair in his grasp and swings wildly, but Jax sees it coming and ducks the chairshot, running under it and sliding into the ring to safety! This action agitates Brannigan, who goes to follow, but he suddenly feels a tug on the chair, and it's ripped from his hands by Scotty Static... *CRACK!* ...who pastes him with a hard chairshot when he turns around! COACH That's teamwork! Static drops the chair and starts putting the boots to Brannigan, while in the ring Jax is setting up the ladder! He stands it up just under the OAOAST World Tag Team Title belts and starts to climb, but The Marv slides in and quickly pulls him off! Marv delivers a kick to the stomach and a scoop slam to put Jax on the canvas, then quickly starts climbing the ladder so that he and Mel can retain their coveted belts. Jax doesn't stay down for long, however, and he gets up and starts climbing up after Marv, getting his head between Marv's legs so that the Sk8r Boi is rested on his shoulders! Jax steps down onto the canvas with Marv on his shoulders, while Scotty Static moves from the apron up to the top rope! The crowd watches on as Static prepares to jump...but at the last second he's crotched by Leon Rodez, who races across the apron and shakes the ropes, causing him to lose his balance! Jax watches on, protesting Rodez's action... *CRACK!* ...and then feels the cold steel of a chair brought across his back, courtesy of Dan Black! Jax tilts forward, and it's enough for Marv to hop off his shoulders. Jax turns around and Black pastes him again, this time across the forehead, and another chairshot is given to knock Marv for a loop as well! Meanwhile, Malibu has jogged across the apron and climbs up on the ropes with Static, and he and Rodez each stand on one side and nod to each other before taking Scotty by the head and bringing him down to earth with a double top rope superplex! COLE Quick thinking by the least experienced team in the contest! CABOOSE Teaming wise, you're right, but Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez are as formidable a team as anyone else here in the OAOAST. Static is out of it, and Malibu and Rodez begin to pick themselves up off the canvas, while Black drops the chair and starts climbing up the ladder! Dan gets up about halfway, and it's at that point that both Zack and Leon scramble towards him, when all of a sudden Mel springboards off the ropes back into the ring, and lands on the opposite side of the ladder! COLE What agility! He races up, meeting Dan at the top, and start firing off punches to stagger the former Mystery Eskimo! Black teeters, trying not to lose his footing, but Zack reaches up and yanks him down off the ladder by the ankle! Rodez then races up the ladder to stop Mel from claiming the belts, while Black is sent to the ropes and nailed with a dropkick from Malibu! Zack stays ready, waiting for Dan to get up...but then rushes out of the way in the nick of time as he sees the ladder falling towards him, with Mel and Leon both on it! COLE Tony Brannigan has pushed the ladder over! The ladder lands against the ropes, with both men falling off the ladder and crotching themselves along the top rope! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" The former World Champion stands pleased, and when Zack turns around, he's blasted by a running lariat! Brannigan then takes the ladder and sets it up once again, while Mel falls off the ropes into the ring, and Leon falls over to the apron and down to the floor. Tony starts his climb, but Scotty Static is up and climbs up behind him, clubbing at his lower back with forearm shots! Johnny Jax is up now and comes over to aid his partner, and they each take a leg and yank Tony down, then take him by the head and smash his face into the steps of the ladder! Scotty and Johnny then press Tony up into the air and head over to the ropes, then drop their rival throat first on the top rope! The GPX back away, high fiving each other with pride, and then they get some unexpected followup to their move, as The Marv whips Brannigan to the corner. Tony grimaces as his back hits the top turnbuckle. The Marv charges the corner, using Hell Mel who's down on his hands and knees, as a springboard to launch himself up in the air and nails Brannigan in the corner with a leg lariat. Mel's 180 pound frame bounces off his 262 pound opponent, but he safely lands on his feet and clotheslines Dan Black, as he re-enters the ring after sliding in a table. "The Ice Heart" does his best to cover up as the Boiz put the boots to him. The Marv picks Dan up and keeps him reeling with forearm shots, while Hell Mel places the ladder in the corner. They each grab an arm and whip Black to the corner where the ladder is position. Hell Mel drops on all fours and propels his brother in the air, using himself as a springboard much like The Marv did for him. Unfortunately for Marv, he doesn't have the success Mel did, as Dan Black SUPERKICKS him in mid-air! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" The crowd jump out of their seats. A fan in the front row holds up a sign reading: "Joey Styles says 'OH, MY GOD!'" Black, the cagey veteran that he is, stays on the offensive, kicking Hell Mel in the mid-section as he rises back to his feet. Dan grabs Mel in a 3/4 facelock, but he's shot into the ropes. Black hits the ropes hard... * WHAM * ...and he's hit just as hard across the back by a chairshot from Leon Rodez. Leon slides the chair into the ring and jumps on the ring apron. He steps through the ropes just as Dan Black stumbles back towards Hell Mel, who takes him around the world with a TILT-A-WHIRL ROCK BOTTOM onto the chair! Leon takes a look at Dan and then the crowd, pointing to himself, as if he's asking "Did I do that?" The crowd pops for Rodez' antics. Mel jumps back to his feet, excited about what he just accomplished, not knowing what awaits behind him. He turns around and sees Leon staring at him. Rodez tilts his head sideways and smiles. Mel waves...and eats a standing dropkick! Scotty Static sneaks up behind Rodez and spins him around, leveling the New-Age Love Machine with a chairshot. He unfolds the chair and taunts his opponents and the crowd by taking a seat while the match is still in progress. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Uh, that isn't going to get it done, young man. COACH It might not get it done, but admit it, guys, it's beautiful to watch. COLE What is? COACH The showmanship! CABOOSE Brownie points? COACH Oh, you know it is, baby. Static gets up from the chair, folds it up and threatens to hit those who boo him. Though the crowd noise is loud, he feels the mat rumbling. He whips around. A pissed off preppy known as the "Franchise" of the OAOAST, Zack Malibu charging full steam ahead. He kicks his leg up in the air, perhaps too soon, as Scotty steps aside, Zack's momentum taking him to the corner, where his leg gets caught between the rungs of the ladder. The crowd watches in horror as Zack struggles to free his leg. Static repeatedly bashes the chair across the back. Now joined by Johhny Jax, the GPX pumpel Malibu in the corner. They both climb to the second rope and hook Zack from behind, using their free arms to the ladder back with them. DOUBLE BACK SUPLEX! COLE Not only did Zack hit the canvas hard, but the weight of the ladder fell down on top of him! CABOOSE And his leg is still trapped in the ladder. The GPX may have just taken out the face of the OAOAST. COLE What a crushing blow that would deal to the company at a time we're coming under attack. The GPX lift the ladder up, which also picks up Zack because his leg is caught in the rungs. Zack hangs upside down, helpless as the GPX stomp him. Then, from seemingly out of the blue, Dan Black nails Malibu with a DIVING HEADBUTT! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" With their heads butting, Zack plunges down to the canvas, also bringing down the ladder...on both men! The GPX capitalize on taking out two of their 6 opponents, freeing Zack's leg and slamming the ladder down on both he and Dan. Scotty and Johnny pick up a woozy Dan Black, kick him in the gut and apply a double front facelock. As they're about ready to hit a double-team DDT, Tony Brannigan takes the GPX out with a DIVING CLOTHESLINE off the top. He pops back to his feet and gives us all the HIP SWIVEL~! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Unaccustomed to the cheers of the crowd, Brannigan flicks the sweat on his forehead at the hands, getting the crowd back against him. The crowd show their appreciation, cheering as Tony Brannigan is knocked off his feet with double missle dropkicks from the Sk8ter Boiz! Dan Black avenges his partner, kicking Hell Mel in the gut and setting him up for a Northern Lites Suplex. The Marv comes to his brother's aid, but Dan catches him coming in with a kick to the mid-section. DOUBLE NORTHERN LI-- No, the Boiz counter and spike Black head-first into the mat with a DOUBLE-TEAM DDT! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE Dan Black nearly pulled off a helluva feat if he would've been able to Northern Lites suplex both the World Tag Team Champions. COACH If anybody deserved to be dropped on their heads -- besides you, M.C. -- it's the World Tag Team Champions. With everybody else down, the champs seize the moment. The Boiz pick up the ladder and jam it into Zack Malibu's gut, then Leon's, shoving him out of the ring with their foot afterwards. They uses the ladder to clothesline the GPX out of the ring before setting it up. The Marv holds the ladder up for Mel, staying on guard. The crowd rise to their feet as no one is there to present a challenge. COACH Oh, please don't tell me the Boiz' luck is gonna continue. I could've sworn it was just about up. These guys are always in the right place at the right time. COLE Haven't you ever heard of "good things happen to those who wait"? Overanxious, Marv slips, but quickly regains his footing. Out on the apron, behind Marv is Leon Rodez. The crowd pops as he pulls himself onto the apron springboards to the top rope, knocking Marv off the ladder with a flying shoulder tackle. The Marv falls onto the chair used earlier by Scotty. Rodez and Mel rush to be the first to grab the chair lying in the chair. Leon uses his experience to sucker Mel in and sweep him off his feet. He grabs the chair and... * BOOM * ...crushes it over Mel's skull. Tony Brannigan clotheslines Rodez from behind. Brannigan whips him to the ropes. Reversed back elbow. He picks Leon up and fires him back to the ropes. OUT OF-- No, Leon is able to free himself from Tony's clutches with rabbit punches to the back of the head. Tony blocks his kick, catching the leg on its way toward him. Tony mockingly blows Rodez a kiss, which he swats away. He then flips Brannigan over with an enzurigi. Brannigan rolls to the ropes and uses them to pull himself up. Leon lunges towards Tony and clotheslines him out of the ring to the floor, going over him with but skins the cat to bring himself back in. He turns around and gets nailed with the AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL (Inverted Stunner) sponsered by The Marv. The Marv ascends back the ladder. Johnny Jax comes from the blindside and low blows Marv. He yanks Marv down, and along with Scotty scoope him for a double-team back suplex, but The Marv floats over and drives the GPX into the ropes. Scotty and Johnny hold onto the top rope, The Marv's momentum sending him rolling back. As their mommy would of liked, the Nerdlys a.k.a. Sk8er Boiz work together and send the GPX falling through the ropes to the arena floor with the classic double dropkick. The Boiz hit the far side and wipe the GPX out with a pair of PLANCHAS. The Marv rushes back inside the ring, joined shortly thereafter by Hell Mel. The taller Boiz, Marv, is the one who climbs up the ladder. Hell Mel doing the honor of keeping the ladder still. Leon Rodez spins Mel around and spikes him into the mat with a DDT. Mel rolls out of the ring to recover. The Marv looks down and loses his balance, allowing Leon to pull him down by the tights and waistlock him from behind. Marv tries freeing himself with back elbows, but Rodez bends Marv backwards following a hard forearm shot to the lower back. Inverted front facelock into an inverted suplex and finally into a Stunner, which Leon Rodez calls STREET SMARTS! On the right hand corner of the screen, near the turnbuckle, Tony Brannigan grabs the middle rope and pulls himself up onto the apron. Rodez has two options. One: go for the belts and risk being caught in a "bad way," as Dusty Rhodes would say. Or take Brannigan out, then go for the gold. With Zack just about ready to get physical, it makes the decision easier. He charges the corner, leaps onto the middle turnbuckle, grabs Tony's head and puts him through the table on the outside with a TORNADO DDT! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE It looks like a car wreck out here. I know, that's cliche. But it's the truth, fans. Guys are giving up their bodies for the richest prize in tag team wrestling. CABOOSE Unlike other promotions, we actually have tag teams. So many, in fact, we can't always put them on TV. Every tag team that wants to be somebody in this sport comes knocking at the OAOAST's door. Tony and Leon remain down outside, with what's left of the table. In the ring, Zack crawls to the ladder. Still weakened from the crushing blow earlier in the match, he grabs the bottom rung and slowly pulls himself up. Zack begins trembling as the roar from the crowd sends his adrenaline into overdrive. He positions the ladder to his liking, taking a quick glance at what could be his and Leon's in mere moments -- the World Tag Team Championship. The fans hoot and holler as Zack carefully climbs the ladder, not wanting to get his leg caught in the ladder again. Zack reaches up and... "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" ...grabs possession of both belts for a brief second! The crowd was ready to explode, but Zack was unable to hold onto the titles. He steps up another rung, but he's now joined by Dan Black. The two engage in a chop fest. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The sound of fleshing meeting fleshing cackling throughout the arena. Zack rams Dan's head into the top rung. Again, again, and again. But Dan continues to fight back. He drives the top of his head into Zack's jaw, stunning the "Franchise" momentarily. Malibu blocks a right and drapes Dan over the ladder, applying the CALIFORNIA DREAM (Dragon Sleeper)! "YEEEEAAAAHHHH!" COLE What a sight. Zack Malibu has Dan Black contorted over the ladder in the California Dream. You'll only see this type of action in the OAOAST, much like you'll be seeing Sunday night, September 25th from Fenway Park live on pay-per-view. Dirty Deeds. The only way to join us is from the comfort of your own home. So call your local cable or satellite provider to order Dirty Deeds now. Nowhere to go, Dan hammers the top of Malibu's head with closed fists. He sticks the fingers in the eyes and blinds Zack. Knowing he has his opponent in trouble, Black unleashes a barage of vicious-looking headbutts, opening up a cut above his eyebrow. The crowd gasp as Zack loses his position and dangles from the ladder. "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" The chants for Zack fires Dan up, who pounds Malibu with right hands. Black measures up and connects with a punch right between the eyes, knocking Zack off the ladder. "AWWWWWWW!" Disappointed their favorite has gone down, the crowd heckles the "Ice Heart" in an attempt to rattle the multi-time World tag team champion. It may not be the fans who prevent Black from grabbing the belts, but rather himself. Dan rests his head on the rung, a bit woozy from the headbutts thrown. He shakes off the cobwebs and swipes his thumb across his throat. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" With Dan ever closer to the gold, Zack rises back to his feet and leaps halfway up the ladder in a single bound, drilling Black with a stiff forearm shot to the face. Black falls off, landing throat-first across the top rope. He ricochets off the ropes and smacks back-first into the ladder just as Zack had grabbed both belts, causing him to let go and hold onto tightly to the ladder. Zack lunges over the top of the ladder and shoves Black out of the ring, joining the other competitors down on the outside. Unbeknownst to Zack, who's making another push to bring home the gold, Johnny Jax is setting up a table behind him. Zack once again makes contact with the belts, but Jax hammers him with a chairshot to the back. Malibu slumps over the ladder, gritting his teeth, squinting his eyes, as he holds his lower back. * BOOM * A gut-wrenching thud rings through the sold out arena following another chairshot, this time to the head courtesy of one Scotty Static. Jax postions himself between Zack's legs and POWERBOMBS him through a table, turning him over into a BOSTON CRAB, while Static positions a chair flat on its back and finishes up the CHAIN LETTER with a Pedigree-like variation onto the chair! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The GPX kick Zack out of the ring. Scotty SPITTING on him for good measure. Jax sets the ladder up. The boys from Hotlanta and the 313 respectively hold their arms up in victory as they arrogantly climb up the ladder. There, at the top, they each grab a belt, flipping off the hostile crowd with their free hand. COLE Of all the teams, the cry babies are gonna win the damn thing. Damn them! CABOOSE To hell? The GPX begin to unstrap the belts, but the World tag team champions aren't going to lose their titles without a fight. They shove the ladder down. Scotty Static flies out of the ring onto the arena floor, while Johnny Jax falls throat-first on the top rope. He bounces back into the grip of the Boiz. WALK THE DOG (back suplex flapjack)! COACH No, no, no! Don't tell me we're at that time of the match where the Boiz pull out the lucky win. COLE Some guys have all the luck in the world. Folks, we've got to take our last commercial break! Will the tag team champs pull it out once more? Stay with us! WHOOOOOOOOOOSSHHHHHH~! No commercials, whee!!! COLE Folks, welcome back to our main event, and the Sk8r Boiz are MOMENTS AWAY from victory! The Boiz are just inches away from retaining their titles. Tony Brannigan returns to the ring and low blows Hell Mel. He and The Marv then slug it out. Brannigan misses a clothesline. The Marv uses the middle rope as a springboard and knocks Tony off his feet with a leg lariat. He goes up to the top and nails Brannigan with a top rope hurancanrana. Groggy, Brannigan rises back to his feet and sees Marv charging. He propels Marv in the air, who lands on the top turnbuckle and surprises Tony with a moonsault. Followed by a standing moonsault. He goes to the corner, his back facing Brannigan and climbs to the top. He takes one last check back before... COLE Oh, no! ...falling back with a REVERSE DIVING HEADBUTT...and hitting nothing but steel as Tony grabs a nearby chair and holds it up! COLE The Marv writhing in pain. He may have busted himself open in the back of his head. He was going for the Rock n' Fakie, that reverse diving headbutt of his, but he didn't have Tony worn down enough -- as odd as it sounds considering the hell these 8 men have been through. CABOOSE High-risk, high reward. Unfortunately for Marv, there was no reward. COACH You know, as much as I hate the Boiz, I gotta give them credit. They were scared as hell last week when they found out about tonight's match. But they've come out fighting. COLE The list of teams the brother combination out of Canadian has beaten is unbelievable. The New New Midnight Express, Hell's Hitmen, the Sooner Bruisers, C.S.I., The Original Elite. They were completely mis-matched against all those teams, but they used their heart and will to win to edge them out. If they win here tonight, they may go down as the greatest tag team in OAOAST history. You don't defeat teams of those caliber by luck. Tony PRESSES Marv overhead and searches for a spot to dump him. He settles on the arena floor! His back facing the hard camera, Tony extends his arms up in the air and clenches his buttocks. Women all over the building fainting. Brannigan places a ladder in the corner, a table in another. He picks Hell Mel up and throws him into the ladder. Or so he thinks. Mel is able to keep himself from slamming into the ladder. He waits for his cue, choosing to surprise Tony when he least expects it. And is he ever. Tony's eyes widen as he sees Mel face to face with him. Thumb to the eye! Mel slams Tony face-first onto the top rung, in hopes he'd fall. He doesn't; he just slips, but quickly regains his footing. With Mel on the verge of grabbing the belts, his fingers grazing the gold, Tony acts out of desperation and uses his reach advantage to punch Hell Mel below the waist through the rungs. Hell Mel doubles over, Brannigan climbs up a couple of rungs and front facelocks Mel, swinging him over. RUDE AWAKENING off the ladder! Both men's bodies jumping off the mat after impact. "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" CABOOSE I may not like him, and I know he doesn't like me, but I must give credit where credit is due. He could of easily shoved Mel off the ladder following the low blow and gone for the belts, but with Hell Mel on top with him, he didn't want to take the chance of making a play for the belts only to have something happen and leave Mel in a position to win. Smart move, in my opinion. And when you're a two-time World Heavyweight Champion, your opinion matters. After what seems like ages, Leon Rodez returns inside the ring. With everybody in sight down, he climbs the diagonally positioned ladder. He isn't the only one to return to the picture. So does Dan Black. "The Ice Heart" stuns Rodez with a clubbering shot to the back. He climbs onto the rungs and waistlocks Leon from behind. The crowd stand in anticipation. RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE LADDER IN THE CORNER! Rodez bounces off the ladder, and he's sent right back into it -- this time via an STO! Rodez falls to the canvas. Dan Black the recipient of cheers. "BLACK!" "BLACK!" "BLACK!" Dan climbs the ladder. The returns keep on coming, and it isn't even Tax day. Johnny Jax and Dan Black are now fighting atop the ladder. Jax ducks a right, applies a full nelson and plants Black into the mat with a FULL NELSON SLAM OFF THE LADDER! COACH DAYUM~! COLE They aren't human. These 8 great competitors are going from mortals to immortals in front of our very eyes. Up the ladder goes Johnny Jax. He reaches the second to top rung and is greeted by a chairshot by Zack Malibu. Jax' leg gives out, getting caught between the rungs. He tries to free himself but Zack shoves him backwards. Now Johnny dangles from the ladder, much like Zack was earlier. "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Along with a recovered Leon Rodez, Zack and Leon hit the ropes and dropkick Jax in the sternum. The two take turns punching an upside down Johnny Jax, to the liking of the crowd. Meanwhile, outside, the Boiz pull out a 20 FOOT LADDER from underneath the ring, drawing "ooh's" and "aah's" from the sold out St. Louis crowd. Zack and Leon try to dropkick the ladder into the Boiz, but Marv and Hell Mel throw the ladder up in the air, catch it, and drop it down on Malibu and Rodez after they miss their double dropkick. They jab the ladder into the mid-section of Jax before moving it and him aside in favor of the 20 ft. ladder. Tony Brannigan clothesline Hell Mel and shoves down the ladder. CABOOSE Uh, I think the Queen is calling. Good day, gentlemen. COACH Incoming! COLE Oh, my! Triple C take cover. The Marv falls off the ladder and onto the sofa that is Sofa Central. Papers sent flying. "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Hell Mel grabs Tony and turns him around. He drills him with a couple of big right hands. Irish whip. Brannigan sent up high in the air. Back body drop. Mel picks Brannigan him and smashes him head-first into the top turnbuckle. He whips him to the corner across the ring, following him up, but is back dropped over the top rope. Mel manages to land on his feet and slams Tony to the mat by the hair. He springboards inside the ring and connects with a slingshot moonsault. Dan Black tries sneaking up on Mel, but he sees Black coming and takes him over with an armdrag. Yes, an armdrag. Black's chest chopped into ground meat. Mel shoots him to the ropes. Dan rolls under a leapfrog and absolutely destroys Hell Mel with a brutal TIGER SUPLEX through a table placed in the corner. Black with a cold, hard stare. Pleased with the damage done. Zack Malibu charges behind. He's caught with a powerslam. Rodez charges Black as well. Dan side-steps, waistlocking Rodez from the backside into a full nelson. Dragon suplex, followed by a German, followed by a-- Rodez wraps his leg around Dan's to prevent the "Ice Heart" from competing the Chimera Suplex Squence with the Tiger Suplex. He goes behind Dan, who responds with a back kick -- but Rodez saw it coming and leaps up, legscissors the body and applying a sleeper hold! It doesn't take Dan long to escape, however, as he runs to the corner and ducks his head, causing Rodez to break the sleeper when he hits the top turnbuckle head-first. Black sets up for a suplex of a kind, but Rodez floats over, spins Black around and... * JAB * * JAB * On the third jab attempt, Dan grabs the arm and takes Rodez down to the mat, trying to clamp on the Heart of Ice (Crippler Crossface), but Rodez uses his free arm to fight off the crossface. Black hammers him across the head with forearm shots until Rodez finally gives and is able to lock on the submission hold. CABOOSE We're back with you. Well, only I am. The other two losers are having their headsets fixed after Tony threw The Marv down onto our position. Obviously, you can only win this match by climbing the ladder and bringing down both belts, but what Dan is doing here is trying to isolate one of his opponents. Leon Rodez is the wildcard here. With the exception of Rodez, all the other men have faced each other in tag team competition. They know each others' strength's and weaknesses. Zack comes to his partner's aid, striking Black in the face with hard kicks, but Dan won't let go. He cranks back further, scream at Zack to "COME ON!" Zack walks away and picks one of the many ladders available. * BOOM * Malibu rams the top of the ladder into Dan's face. As you can imagine, Dan breaks the hold and rolls around in pain, checking to see if he still has his teeth in tact. Zack lies the ladder flat on its back and sets Black up for a butterfly suplex. We see blood gushing from the forehead of Dan Black where he took that brutal ladder shot. Just as Zack's set to take Black up in the air, he's caught off guard by the reappearance of Scotty Static, who springboards to the top and takes him down with a SHOOTING STAR LARIAT! Scotty frees Jax from the ladder. Johnny gets up, hobbling. He and Scotty scoope Zack back up, Johnny wrapping his right arm and leg around Zack's neck and left leg. Static hits the ropes hard and hammers Malibu square in the face with a YAKUZA KICK as Jax completes the Russian legsweep. The GPX pick up the 20 ft. ladder. When they turn around they are nailed by a Leon Rodez standing dropkick, trapping them under the ladder. Rodez grabs Hell Mel as he gets up from what's left of the table Dan Black put him through, and hip tosses the youngster onto the ladder and the GPX. Mel bounces off the ladder, clutching his back. The Marv, just now getting it back together after being thrown onto Sofa Central from the ring, comes off the top and BULLDOGS Rodez onto the ladder and the GPX. Leon rolls out of the ring. The Boiz maneuver around the chairs and broken pieces of table to grab another ladder, which they use to clothesline the GPX over the top rope. The Boiz quickly rush to setup the ladder. Once it is, The Marv goes for the gold. He'll have to go through Dan Black. The Marv and Black exchange blows as they climb up the rungs. They both reach the top and grab a belt at the same time. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!" The two continue chopping each other until Tony Brannigan whallops Hell Mel across the back with a chair, causing Mel to run into the ladder and knock it down. Marv and Dan immediately grab the cable wire and hold on for dear life. COLE They're--They're dangling in the air! If any one of these men falls it could be all over for them -- and their entire careers. Once the initial fear factor of being stranded in the air goes away, The Marv and Dan Black continue to chop the hell out of each other while holding onto the wire with one hand! The bloodied Black kicks Marv hard in the face. The Marv responds in kind, with two feet! Dan is sent back, still holding onto the ladder, and as he comes flying back towards Marv, he extends his leg out and drills Marv with another SUPERKICK! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The Marv falls down, but Tony Brannigan is there to catch him in mid-air and POWERBOMBS him not once, but twice. Then, still holding onto the powerbomb, Tony lifts Marv back in the air and powerbombs him through the TABLE standing vertically in the corner! Dan Black, like the rest of us, is caught watching the action below. It allows Hell Mel to throw a chair up in the air, hitting Dan on the funny bone. Nothing funny about that, as he descends to the canvas. "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" CABOOSE If you've ever been hit in the funny bone, you know it's no laughing matter. The ladder is placed on its back mid-ring. Black T signal for 3-B, Black Body Bag. Brannigan whips Mel to the ropes and takes him up for the Out of Body Experience. He holds onto his grip, allowing Dan time to hit the ropes to finish off 3-B with the running Rock Bottom. * BOOM * Dan Black goes down courtesy of a chairshot from Zack Malibu! Tony hears the thud and turns around. * BOOM * Chairshot to the head. Malibu positions the stud on the ladder, and then goes up to the top rope. He sets for a moonsault, but... * CRACK * ...Zack has his head rammed through a chair following a vicious chairshot from Scotty Static. He crotches himself on the top turnbuckle, having lost his footing. Static clotheslines him to the canvas. Johnny Jax enters the ring and hits the ropes, baseball sliding Zack out of the ring onto two tables touching each other outside. Scotty grabs the 20 ft. ladder and sets it up outside, where Johnny is pumpeling Zack to ensure he stays on the table. Scotty climbs up the ladder, his back facing Zack. COLE Is he gonna do a moonsault off the ladder? COACH No way! I wanna see it. But no way! Scotty leaps backwards, flipping in mid-air, all while Leon hits Jax with a chair and pulls Zack out of harm's way just in the nick of time, as Static SWANTON BOMBS nothing but table! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" CABOOSE How do you call this? COLE I'll have sex with a woman if he manages to get up from that. Rodez and Malibu slide back in the ring, Black T meeting them as they come in. The crowd electric as some of the biggest and brightest names in the business slug it out. Black T rake the eyes and send Malibu and Rodez running to the ropes. The former tag team champions set too soon. Black T are caught with their pants down as Zack and Leon leapfrog over the top. Tony spins around and gets nailed with a dropkick by Rodez, while Zack hits the ropes and drills Black in the face with a running boot to the face. Otherwise known as a Yukza Kick. Dan rolls out of the ring, leaving his partner alone. Zack and Leon clothesline Brannigan over the top rope. Leon grabs Zack's left arm and fires him to the far side. Malibu dives over the top rope and crashes onto Black T outside with a flying cross bodyblock! Rodez starts climbing the ladder. The Marv comes back in and throws a chair into Leon's face. Marv climbs the other side of the ladder. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rodez greets Marv with a knife-edge chop. The Marv begins firing wildly, overwhelming his opponent. Marv climbs to the top rung, and is knocked off by a forearm shot by Rodez. As Marv falls back, he scissors Rodez' head and takes him down with a HURANCANRANA! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Marv yells at Rodez to get up, and then runs the ropes - onto get nailed with a chairshot from the floor! Tony Brannigan grins and slides into the ring, grabbing a hold of Marv, but here's Hell Mel now, stomping Tony's foot to make him release his brother! The tag champs grab Brannigan and spike him down with a double team Russian leg sweep. The Sk8r Boiz then step out onto the apron where they gather up another ladder. They look around, and see the GPX regrouping on the floor to their left, and just hurl the ladder at them! The GPX catch it~!...AND THEN HAVE IT DROPKICKED INTO THEM BY THE SK8R BOIZ! COLE Stereo springboard dropkicks into the ladder, and the GPX are down! COACH Maybe they should have given us a fourth man out here tonight to help us keep track of the action! CABOOSE They need to work on getting us a third man first. COACH Yeah. I mean, no! Both Scotty and Johnny are hurt, and Mel and Marv take the ladder and slide it back in the ring, setting it up right next to the already standing ladder. The Sk8r Boiz each race up a ladder, as the fans scream in support for the champions to retain, but suddenly Dan Black is climbing up the other side of one ladder! He reaches the top and cuts Mel's grab off, chopping him across the chest, then leans over and tries shoving Marv down! While Marv manages to keep his balance, the tactic was enough to prevent him from grabbing the belts, and now a former World Tag Team Champion is fighting off both of the current champs atop two uneasy ladders! Black tries fighting them off, but the Boiz start firing back to a huge pop, each man connecting with rapid fire punches simultaneously and wearing Dan Black out! Black starts to teeter, but the Boiz reach over and pull him from certain doom, sparing him the fall. With Black leaning over the middle of both ladders, the Boiz look at each other and each tuck one of their arms under Dan's... ...THEN USE A DOUBLE TEAM HIPTOSS FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER, LEAPING DOWN WITH DAN AS HE FALLS~! COLE Oh, MY~! CABOOSE They risked retaining the titles, but that move could put Dan Black on the shelf for the rest of the match! He's already been bleeding for some time now! Black bounces off the canvas, then rolls out under the bottom rope, taking himself away from the carnage in the ring. Meanwhile, out on the floor, Leon Rodez drags out a table from under the ring, and the wooden object gets as big a pop as any of the fan favorites have tonight while Leon unfolds the legs and props it up at ringside! Tony Brannigan, getting back to his feet, sees Rodez and slides out of the ring, nailing him with a baseball slide that knocks Leon onto the table! Leon is dazed, but comes out swinging, as Tony positions himself in front of him only to be greeted with a hard right hand! Rodez tries to slam Tony's head onto the table, but the former World Champion resists and then stuns Leon with a headbutt right between the eyes. Brannigan picks up his younger opponent and bodyslams him onto the table. Tony then jumps up onto the apron, and holds up his elbow! COLE He's going to elbow drop Leon through that table! CABOOSE Insightful as always, my friend. COACH Leon brings the table out, and now he's the one going through it. Irony at it's finest. COLE Been polishing up those skills, eh JC? Before Tony can dive, however, the GPX are up and on him, slamming him with forearms from inside the ring! Tony tries to fight both off, but the double team is too much to handle. Jax takes him by the head and runs him across the apron, smashing his head into the ringpost! Brannigan slumps over the corner, and Rodez rolls off the table and onto the apron, only for Scotty Static to put the boots to him! Rodez powers up to his feet and lunges over the ropes for Scotty, but Static grabs him by the head and brings his neck down onto the ropes, slingshotting Leon backwards and leaving him sprawled out on the table! GPX look at each other and their normal, confident smirks reappear, and Jax drags Tony away from the corner and sets him up leaning over the ropes. Meanwhile Static hits the far side and dives over the ropes, pulling Tony down with him and powerbombing him onto Leon Rodez and THROUGH THE TABLE!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Johnny Jackson yells approval, but is just as quickly spun around and nailed with a punch to the jaw from Zack Malibu! Zack whips him off the ropes and spins Johnny over with an armdrag. Recovering quickly, Jackson charges in, and Zack plants him with an inverted atomic drop! Jax howls in pain, as Zack braces himself for a SCHOOL'S OUT...but Jax catches his foot and spins him around, right into the waiting arms of The Marv, who lifts him up across his shoulders while Mel leaps off the top rope, grabbing Zack's head on the way down and DDT'ing him off his partner's shoulders! COACH Wow, a super aggresive assault from the champs! COLE Well, they're in a tough spot and don't want to lose their titles! They know if they can retain here people will start taking them a lot more seriously. Malibu lays on his stomach, and a vicious stomping ensues, with both tag champs kicking the hell out of his exposed back! Johnny Jackson gets to his feet, still aching, and sneaks up behind the over-excited Boiz. He grabs their heads and bashes them together! As they stagger away, Johnny takes over with the stomps to Zack! Malibu quickly rolls aside, so JJ's last kick only hits air. With Jax unbalanced, Malibu sweeps his legs out from under him with a low kick. Zack then nails both Boiz with a stiff double lariat as he rises up, some measure of revenge for their furious assault. Momentarily free in the ring, Zack grabs one of the two ladders that are propped up in the ring, looking to do some damage with the metal tool. Malibu quickly folds the ladder up and puts it over his head, peeking his head through one of the spaces between rungs, and starts spinning around with the ladder sticking out horizontally across his shoulders! Marv, Mel and Jax all get blasted with the ladder as they come up to their feet, and as Scotty Static hops up on the apron, Zack takes the ladder off his shoulders and holds it in his hands, ramming the top step of it into the forehead of Scotty Static and knocking him down to the floor! COACH Man, look at Zack go. COLE I'm not sure how happy Zack is to have Leon Rodez as his partner, but it's certainly not affecting his will to win tonight! Malibu then drops the ladder on the canvas and moves towards the other ladder that is still set up...but as he starts climbing, Dan Black suddenly rushes over out of nowhere and tips the ladder, sending Zack falling down to the mat! The crowd lets Dan have it, but the "Ice Heart" pays no attention to the opinion of the fans, as he pulls the ladder back up to a standing position, locking it in place before he begins to climb. Black starts to make his way up the ladder, but Malibu is back up, and he yanks Dan down to the canvas...then simply darts up the steps of the ladder himself! Dan reaches up and snags Malibu's leg, yanking him back down to the canvas, and delivers a kick to the stomach, then goes for the BLACKOUT~!...but Zack pushes him forward towards the ropes, and catches him coming off with a snap powerslam! COLE Malibu and Black have had a war waging for months, ever since Black took out Zack's girlfriend Candie. Lately they've been on the same page somewhat, but it's all out the window tonight as they compete for the tag team championship! Malibu gets up, and hears his name called. He looks over to the floor, and Leon Rodez, clutching his ribs after having Tony powerbombed onto him, has set up a table on the floor. Malibu nods and picks Dan up, dragging him towards the ropes and readying him in a headscissors, but as Malibu lifts him for a powerbomb, Black slips out and lands on his feet, face to face with his foe! Black takes Zack by the head and drops his chin on the crown of his own head, rattling the prep with a jawbreaker before pulling him into a headscissors and lifting, racing across to the oppostie side of the ring with a running powerbomb... *KE - RAAASH!* ...AND DROPS HIM OVER THE ROPES ONTO A LADDER BEING HELD UP BY THE SK8R BOIZ!!!!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" CABOOSE Yeeeeee-ouch! That was vicious! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The Sk8r Boiz jump back in shock, as the ladder they each held by an end is now bent and broken thanks to Dan Black using a running powerbomb over the ropes to take Malibu out! Malibu lays on the ladder in agony, and the Sk8r Boiz look at each other and then slide into the ring! Dan Black is ready for them, and starts throwing punches to stagger both Mel and Marv, but the odds overcome him...until Tony climbs back into the ring and spins Marv around, spiking him into the canvas with an OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE~! Black then regains the advantage on Mel, and ultimately finishes him off with a BLACKOUT~!, then kicks him under the ropes and out of the ring, and the crowd is mixed with their feelings as Black T have disposed of the Sk8r Boiz! Rodez now gets up on the apron, and Brannigan sees him coming, but Leon nails a shoulderblock through the ropes, then reaches over and hooks Tony in a facelock, suplexing him over the ropes and through...NO! Dan Black runs over and pulls Tony down by the leg, sending him onto the apron rather than through the table! COLE Man, Black just saved his partner big-time! As he lands safely on the apron, Tony starts to exchange rapid rights with Rodez. Black tries to help his partner out, but has to keep his distance as he tries not to disrupt his partner. All this distracts Black, as suddenly the GPX have regrouped and are in the ring. Black doesn't see it coming and gets kneed hard in the kidneys by Static, who then picks Black up for a back suplex. Jackson comes over and hooks Black's head, The GPX driving Black down with an Inverted 3-D! Black rolls groggily from the ring, face caked with drying blood, as The GPX hurriedly pick up a ladder. Still Rodez and Brannigan brawl away. Unaware of The GPX suddenly charging them, slamming the ladder into the two of them simultaneously... *KE - RAAACCK!* ...AND SENDING THEM BOTH FLYING THROUGH THE TABLE!!! COLE Rodez and Tony, BOTH plummeting through the wood. And now, only The Global Party Exchange are left standing! CABOOSE And they've got the ladder right there in their hands! Static hurriedly directs traffic, The GPX setting up the ladder in the centre of the ring and climbing up either side! The crowd are booing wildly already as all hope seems to be gone, with all six opponents laid out around the ring. Static is halfway up and looks up at the belts wide-eyed. Before suddenly, the ladder starts to teeter! COLE Wait...it's Marv!! The ladder topples and shock fills the faces of The Global Party Exchange, as they fall, fall, fall...and Static lands throat first across the top rope!! But somehow, Jax lands on his feet! Little does Marv know this though. He turns around and fires up the crowd after his save, celebrating prematurely as he turns around and gets booted in the gut. Applying a pumphandle, Jax then lifts Marv up and spikes him RIGHT ON HIS HEAD with the Beat Drop!!! Gasps fill the arena as Marv unfolds, lying face-down on the canvas. Jax pulls himself up, smirking widely as he looks down at the motionless Tag Champion and makes the "belt motion". Before he can get to the belt though, arms suddenly clamp around his waist and he gets thrown with a Dan Black German Suplex!! Jax unfolds now and it's Black who takes the time to taunt with the almighty "Hip Swivel~!", not realising that Hell Mel is climbing to the top rope behind him. Grabbing the ladder, Black pulls it towards him slightly before beginning his climb. As far as he's concerned, everyone else is down. He still doesn't know Hell Mel is up. Until that is Mel leaps off the top, plucking Black off the ladder with a flying neckbreaker!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a move by Mel! And everybody's down! CABOOSE I would say that this is like a car wreck...but how many cars have ladders and tables in them? All 8 men remain down, until finally Scotty Static staggers to his feet, to mass boos from the fans. Static looks around and seeing that everyone else is hurt begins to re-position the ladder under the title belts. He then begins his climb. Getting only a few rungs up, before Hell Mel begins to stir. Mel looks hurt though, having to stop for a moment and regather his thoughts. Just long enough for Johnny Jax to creep up behind him, hooking on a pumphandle and hitting the Beat Dro...NO! Mel floats over the back, landing behind Jax. Fall Forward Neckbreaker! Jax gets planted right on the back of his head! But still, Static is climbing. Mel looks to have used his last energy with the neckbreaker and Static is now halfway up. He stops all of a sudden though, watching in despair as both Rodez and Brannigan and dragging themselves up, side by side, on the ring apron. Static looks up and knows he can't make it in time, so jumps off the ladder towards Rodez and Brannigan. But they sidestep, Static dropping throat-first across the top rope for the second time in the match! Static flops, as Leon and Tony glance at eash other...before applying front facelocks on Static! They then lift, releasing Static at the apex and allowing him to fall over the top, crashing into the table wreckage at ringside!! COLE Double Suplex, released, to the floor!! Static lays amongst the wood and steel, while Rodez and Brannigan now enter the ring. And immediately realise it's time to fight, laying in with right hands! Tony gets the better of it and goes to the gut with a knee, setting for the Piledriver. Rodez backdrops out though. Up comes Tony, swinging...and missing with a clothesline! Hitting the ropes in front, Rodez dives forward and brings his near leg over Tony's chest, driving him down with a Leg Lariat, BashMan style! COLE Innovative move by Leon Rodez. CABOOSE He got Tony good with that one too. Clambering up, Rodez brushes past the standing ladder and picking the second, folded ladder up off the canvas. Hell Mel suddenly rushes him, but Rodez ducks. Mel hits the ropes in front and charges with intent. The instincts of Rodez holding up the ladder as a shield cause him to run straight into steel though! Mel staggers back, crashing out of the ring. Leaving Rodez waiting on Tony again. Pulling himself up by the ropes, Tony staggers backwards towards Rodez. Holding the ladder vertical, Rodez slams it against against Tony's back before placing it right behind him. The ladder leans against Tony's back, as Rodez reaches around and places both hands around Brannigan's chin...before leaping up, placing his knees into the ladder and bringing Tony CRASHING down across both 'it' and 'them'!! *CRAAACK!* "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH DAYYUM~! COLE Ladder Assisted Lungblower!?! I've NEVER seen that before in my life!! As Tony bounces off ladder and knees, he falls forward across the middle rope clutching his back in agony. Rodez quickly dumps him out of the ring, before turning to the stationary ladder and climbing up! The crowd are on their feet, as Rodez attempts to scale the ladder. But his knees are hurting from the Ladder Lungblower and he stops after just a couple of rungs. The support of the people wills him on though and he climbs on defiantly. On the outside, Dan Black has seen Rodez and tries to crawl into the ring. The Marv too has seen it. And despite his bad neck, he grabs another chair and slides in. Rodez has reached halfway, litle knowing what waits just inches below him. *CRACK!* I.e, a chairshot to the ribs from The Marv. Rodez stops, crouches, but doesn't fall from the ladder, much to Black's disgust. BLACK GIMME THAT CHAIR YOU PUSSY... *CRAAAAAAACK!!* "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Snatching the chair from The Marv, Black delivers a VIIILE~! chairshot that causes Rodez to lose grip of the ladder and crash to the canvas. An impressed Marv applauds Black's efforts. But suddenly, he has to dive out of the way as Black swings for his head. Ducking underneath the swing, The Marv hits the ropes and dropkicks the chair right back into Dan's face, knocking him for a loop! Black's momentum takes him right out of the ring, landing right beside...STEPHEN JOSEPH!?!?! COLE What the...HEY!! The fans are in shock as Stephen Joseph has sprinted to the ring and is now laying into Dan Black. Even The Marv in the ring is shocked. Joseph wails away on the already weakened Black, who tries to fight back with some bodyshots. But finds himself hurled into the steel barricade! Joseph then flips Black over into the crowd and follows out after him! Punches fly like crazy, as Black and Joseph brawl off out of sight, leaving the referees stationed at ringside in bemusement. COLE What the hell is this!?! Stephen Joseph is taking Dan Black out of this match! Damn it, this isn't right! Dan Black is fighting for everything he's got out there in the crowd, but he's supposed to be in the middle of a Tag Team Title Match! CABOOSE Right now, I'm not sure they're as important as getting his hands on Stephen Joseph. COLE It's chaos here...and Black and Joseph have brawled out of sight. That means Black T are a man down now! Tony Brannigan is flying solo for Black T in this match! COACH He's not the only one, Mickey. I don't think Zack has moved a muscle since that Powerbomb o

We are at OAOAST Central Control, where we find Mean Gene Okerlund. MEAN GENE Happy New Year, everyone. We hope you enjoyed the Angle Awards and the rest of the first OAOAST show of 2006. Now, the OAOAST brings you this special presentation of the 2005 Matches of the year, aired uncut and without commercial interruption. First off, the match you voted the 2005 Comedy Match of the Year. It took place on the February 17th edition of HeldDOWN as then General Manager Josie Baker made quite an unusual match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight title, a "Run for the Gold". Take a look: ****************************************************************************** Originally aired: 2/17/05 COLE And now we've come to our Heavyweight Title matchup here tonight. CABOOSE This….this is absurd, Cole. I can not be the only one here to realize that. COACH Absurdly amazing! CABOOSE Er….no. COLE Well, no matter if you feel it’s absurd or not, General Manager Josie still decided to make the matchup anyway. And with the signing-up process now complete, it looks like Drek Stone is going to have three opponents here. Three opponents running for the gold! COACH Josie explained the rules before, but just in case you were watching Pimp My Ride…. COLE I LUUUUUUUUV that show, s0n! COACH Let’s go over the rules once more. Drek Stone, Leon Rodez, The Mad Cappa, and Alix will all be lining up across the steet from the arena. They are going to be making their way through the streets. Through the fitness center. Through these entrance curtains onto the beach. And finally to the ring. Waiting inside the ring is the OAOAST Heavyweight Title. Whoever grabs that championship first claims it as their own. This is going to be huge! CABOOSE The injustices just keep on piling up for Drek Stone. I don’t recall ANY other superstar having to defend their title under such idiotic circumstances. I just cannot understand it. COACH Entertainment usually IS a difficult concept for you to understand anyway….. COLE BUUUUUUUUUURN~! CABOOSE Right. COLE Anyway, we’ve got a camera waiting outside the arena to broadcast television history. The FIRST-EVER OAOAST “Run For The Gold” competition! Let’s get to it! The camera cuts away to the outside of the arena, where Alix, Leon Rodez, and The Mad Cappa are all standing in position. While Alix has dressed for the occasion in a floruescent orange bikini and a baby-blue sarong, and Leon Rodez has taken the time to pick out banana-yellow swim shorts, The Mad Cappa has simply decided to wrestle in his normal ring attire. However, missing from this casual beach party is one individual. One important individual. One person that is absolutely essential for this match to even start. YO~! YO~! YO~! WOKE UP DIS MORNIN…. GOT YOSELF A GUN…. POPPED A CAP IN DAT MOTHA’S ASS…. TOOK HIS WALLET AND RUN!! OAOAST Heavyweight Champion Drek Stone walks up to his three opponents, accompanied by two street rappers behind him. Drek, with a dreadfully frustrated look on his face, tries to shoo away the two rappers, but they only continue to sing behind them. SHE SAID YOU ONE IN A MILLION… DREK Guys… IT BE TIME FOR YOU TO SHINE… DREK Please stop. BUT YOU GOTTA PASS THE HO‘S.… DREK No more. THE BLUNTS AND THE MOONSHI-I-INE! DREK THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT! GET OUT OF HERE! The rap quickly stops as the two men drop their microphones and stare down this unhip Italian stereotype. RAPPER #1 Yo, man. Josie paid us to rap for you tonight. You want it over? Fine. RAPPER #2 We best be getting paid, still. The two rappers finally leave as Drek shakes his head unbelievably and looks at his three opponents. CABOOSE I can’t believe Josie would force Drek Stone to go through something so degrading. COACH I was feeling that, dawg. Drek’s song needed a change anyway. With the pre-match shenanigans out of the way, the four combatants finally line up to get this thing started. And away we go. *BANG~!* With the sound of the starting gun going off, two Cocoa Beach inhabitants immediately drop down to the ground. Yet, they find themselves only more confused as they walk Drek Stone, Leon Rodez, The Mad Cappa, and Alix start sprinting for the arena. Cappa, looking to get an advantage as quickly as possible, stops short and sticks his leg out, causing Alix to trip over him and fall to the ground. CABOOSE HA! With a laugh, Cappa starts running ahead, making asure to stare back at Alix. However, this time, Rodez sticks HIS leg out, tripping Cappa in exactly the same way he did to Alix before. Rodez tries to sprint forward, but sure enough, he winds up getting tripped by Drek Stone. With all three of his competitors down, Drek has already wound up with the early advantage. CABOOSE There we go! Even in the mean, rumbling streets of Cocoa Beach, Drek Stone is always thinking! As Drek starts sprinting forward, he suddenly realizes that running is for suckers. Seeing someone ride nearby him on a mountain bike, Drek stops the person quickly for a brief conversation. DREK Yo, man. Let me borrow your bike. BIKE RIDER No! Get your own! DREK …….WHAT?! Get the hell off that bike! Despite the bicyclist’s defiant stand, Drek simply places a hand on the biker’s face and shoves him off the bike. With the rider tumbling off the bicycle, it’s easy pickings for Drek Stone to get on and ride away. COLE Oh, that’s terrible! A few seconds in, and Drek Stone has already broken a law! CABOOSE Oh, Cole, please. He shouldn’t have even had to ask to use the damned bike. COACH If Drek is able to stay on that thing, this one could be over before it started. However, that’s definitely easier said than done. The biker, clearly disgraced over being shoved off his bike so easily, picks up a rock and HURLS it at the Heavyweight Champion. The rock hits Drek Stone square at the back of the head, sending him careening off the bike and onto the cement street. CABOOSE WHAT?! HOW DARE HE! COACH Such vivid imagery! As Drek rolls around on the ground, stunned that someone would have the audacity to do such a thing, Alix runs forward and tries lifting up the bike for her own use. But, once again, the bike rider tries to stop this law violation. BIKE RIDER Won’t you all just stop trying to steal my bike?! With a sigh and a shrug of her shoulders, Alix steps back and takes off her bikini top for a moment. BIKE RIDER OMGZ WAT ARE THOZE BUMPSS ON UR CHEST?!?! ALIX Breasts. BIKE RIDER WOWZ!!!11 U CAN TAKE THE BIKE NOW, LADY~! As the bike rider drops down on the ground to take care of his business, Alix picks the bike up and immediately starts riding away with it. The fans standing around the streets rise up in a solid cheer as Alix rides off with the early advantage. COACH Here we go! We could be minutes away from seeing Alix win the Heavyweight Championship! COLE …..what the hell WERE those bumps on her chest? I’m really afraid Alix might have two serious tumors, guys. CABOOSE Idiot. As Alix speeds away to the arena, she suddenly gets knocked over by a car plowing right into her. COLE This is total madness! COACH Why don’t they just walk to the fitness center?! It’s not even that far away! The force of the car sends Alix right off the bike and rolling along the street. When she gets back up, she merely tosses the bicycle off to the side and goes to confront the person who just ran her down. She yanks open the car door and screams as her assailant is shown to be…. COLE GALLAGHER?! CABOOSE Oh boy, all the big stars are coming out tonight…. As Alix stands before this washed-up comedian in absolute shock, Cappa moves over to the backseat of Gallagher’s car and hurls open the door. While Alix attempts to get out her autograph book quickly, Cappa muscles a watermelon out of the automobile. He then runs forward and smashes the massive fruit over the head of the starstruck Tag Champion. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COACH WATERMELON?! WHY, I NEVER!! COLE Who would have thought there would be a watermelon in Gallagher’s car?! ANYTHING can happen in the OAOAST! As Alix rolls around, covered in a sticky mess of melon and black seeds, Cappa tries making a run for the fitness center. But after his first few steps, Leon Rodez lunges out of nowhere and gives The Mad Cappa a hard shove. The force of the push sends Cappa uncontrollably falling into a collection of garbage cans strewn along the side of the curb. *CRASH~!* The sound of crunching aluminum is the only thing that can be heard as Cappa knocks down the entire collection of garbage bins. Almost as if he was picking up the nearly impossible 7-10 split. Not wanting to ease up on his hated rival, Rodez quickly grabs a garbage can lid and moves over to his opponent. As Cappa struggles to get up, Rodez lifts up the lid and… *CRASH~!* …BANGS it off the head of the Mad Cappa! Cappa starts staggering around a little as Rodez lifts up the lid again and…. *CRASH~!* ….DRILLS it off the side of the head of The Mad Cappa once again! As Cappa goes falling back into the garbage cans, Rodez drops the lid and tries walking towards the fitness center. Yet, before he can get there, the X-Champion finds himself surrounded by mob of fans that weren’t there only a second ago. RODEZ Guys, guys. I gotta finish this match. No autographs now. Later. One older woman, with her wistful grey hair up in a bun, steps out from the crowd and confronts Rodez face-to-face. WOMAN AUTOGRAPH?! Oh no, Leon Rodez. We’re here to confront you about that awful video just discovered! MOB BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Rodez looks around the mob with wide-eyes as a middle-aged, balding, 30-something-year-old man steps out of the crowd and hurls a banana at the disgraced superstar. MAN Why not use that in front of all of us right now?! SICKO! MOB YEAHHHHHH! SICKO! SICKO! SICKO! This time, another male figure -- this one dressed in a priest’s robe -- steps out of the crowd and solemnly asks for the mob to quiet down. As the crowd starts to lower their voices, the priest grabs a firm hold of Rodez’s hand and looks into his eyes. Rodez smiles a little, comforted in the idea that there could be someone there who finally understands him. PRIEST Son, Austin 3:16 might whoop your ass……but John 3:16 will save your ass! As it says in verse 7, line 16.…..And the Lord said to John…..THOU SHALT NOT VIOLATE THYSELF WITH A BANANA!!! MOB YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! With even the priest himself mocking Leon Rodez, the mob once again starts to bark insults at the X-Champion. PRIEST MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS…….SIN AND IMMORALITY WILL DO A…. MOB J-O-B… PRIEST TO….. MOB G-O-D!!! PRIEST YESSSSSS!!!! MOB J-O-B to G-O-D!! J-O-B to G-O-D!! As this gathering of right-wing zealots continue to scream at Leon Rodez, the camera catches a glimpse of Drek Stone confronting a young three-year-old happily manuevering a tricycle along the sidewalk. The Heavyweight Champion, without a moment’s hesitation, pushes the child off the trike and grabs it for himself. Although the box says the tricycle may be for ages 7 and under, Drek Stone absolutely refuses to allow himself to be contained by the conformities of society. CABOOSE YES, DREK! FIGHT THE POWER! COACH This match just keeps getting worse and worse. Drek tries pedaling along with the tricycle but, shockingly enough, finds that he’s not moving too quickly. That point is only reinforced as he walks an elderly couple pass by him with accompanying canes and walkers. He winds up feeling further shamed as a Rascal scooter zips by him, moving a swift 10-miles-per-hour. Getting frustrated with his lack of progress, Drek picks the tricycle up and hurls it at the Bible-Thumpers group. The crowd parts like the Red Sea as the trike sails past them and breaks through the back window of Gallagher’s car. *CRASH~!* COACH Hmm. COLE Well, that’s going to cost Drek Stone a pretty penny. CABOOSE I guess. Even I have to admit it’s not cool to vandalize someone’s house like that. With that out of the way, Drek finally takes this opportunity to sprint towards the fitness center. He manages to push himself through the double doors and step into the building! COACH Imagine! What a novel concept! Actually running to the fitness center! COLE Well, to be honest, who’s smart enough to think of that? Drek tries jogging past the front desk, but it turns out Alix was actually waiting for him behind the double doors. As Drek enters the room, she runs at him with a clothesline -- BRINGING THE TWO OF THEM OVER THE FRONT DESK AND ONTO THE FLOOR! “YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Everyone working out in the fitness center immediately stop and break out in a rabid cheer for their female hero. Alix gets up first off the floor first and starts laying in a series of stomps to the Heavyweight Champion. CABOOSE I don’t understand this. Why don’t these guys just forget about beating up the opponent and just sprint for the title? COACH Well, we wouldn’t really have much of a match then, would we? Drek tries crawling on the floor to get away from the assault, but Alix isn’t letting up. She yanks Drek Stone up off the ground by his hair and begins pulling him into the weight room. One particular obese men steps off a weight bench and tries waddling away as quickly as possible. Everyone in the room scatters as Alix picks Drek up -- and BODYSLAMS him onto that newly evacuated weight bench! Drek, nursing his back, rolls over onto his chest. As soon as he does so, Alix grabs him by his hair and picks his head up slightly off the bench. CABOOSE Oh no…..oh no! She wouldn’t! COACH She might! CABOOSE She couldn’t! COACH SHE IS! ALIX WIPES DREK’S FACE INTO THE FAT GUY’S ASS SWEAT! CABOOSE Oh god! That is DISGUSTING! Drek immediately rolls off the bench to the ground, and starts clawing at his face to get the revolting scent away from his nostrils. The fans quite clearly love Alix pulling off such a disgusting act, as they break out in another chant for her. “ALIX!” “ALIX!” “ALIX!” As Alix looks down at her fallen opponent, she suddenly finds herself being brought down by a Leon Rodez bulldog! The people in the weight room cheer once more as Alix hits the ground face-first and rolls over onto her back. Rodez, without wasting a moment’s time, moves over to the military press machine and scales up to a standable level. With the inhabitants of Cocoa Beach rooting him on, Rodez points to them for a moment…. ….AND JUMPS OFF THE MILITARY PRESS MACHINE, HITTING ALIX WITH BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES!! COLE What a move! Rodez might have just taken Alix out of this prestigious matchup! CABOOSE Prestigious isn’t the word for it. As Rodez starts getting off the ground on his knees, an overweight soccer mom runs forward and hits him in the head with a Bible. The force of the shot sends Rodez staggering off-balance. LADY CAST ASIDE NEEDLESS SEX, MR RODEZ! With fire in her eyes, the woman starts charging at the X-Champion with the Bible in her hands. LADY THE LORD NEEDS TO TEACH YOU ABOUT PEACE!! As she charges at Leon Rodez like a distraught buffalo, he easily steps aside, allowing her to go crashing into a wall. As Rodez turns around, he suddenly finds a 10-pound bench press weight whisking near his head. Rodez DUCKS at the last moment, quick enough by merely a second to watch the weight make a noticeable dent in the fitness center’s wall. COLE Whoa! Rodez pops right back up to his feet, to see who was responsible for such a despicable thing. There, he sees The Mad Cappa standing near the entranceway with a wide selection of weights at his disposal. This time, Cappa quickly picks up a 5-pound weight and hurls it at the inspiring OAOAST Porn Star. Rodez, with a deep breath, drops to his knee and somersaults forward out of the way. As he pops back up to his feet, he suddenly gets a kick to the stomach from Drek Stone. Drek then grabs him in a front-facelock position….JUMPS UP….. ….AND SPIKES HIM INTO THE CALF PRESS MACHINE WITH A STONECUTTER!! CABOOSE Stonecutter! YES! It doesn’t matter WHERE he does it! Fatal, each time! Immediately after Drek hits the move, he gets up to his feet and finds himself face-to-face with The Mad Cappa! COLE Here we go! Drek Stone and The Mad Cappa, face-to-face! COACH But Mikey, the circumstances are a little different than they were a few months ago. Now, BOTH guys are heels! CABOOSE Heels? FLAIR THE NAITCHA BOY SAYS STOP USING INSIDER TERMS!! WOOOOOOO!!! *CHOP!* Drek Stone and The Mad Cappa start shoving each other as the surrounding sweaty crowd continues to cheer them on. Finally, Drek comes in with the first punch -- a hard shot to the right temple of The Mad Cappa! Cappa reels back for a moment but then comes shooting back with his own shot! The Mad Cappa and Drek Stone then start exchanging punches in the middle of the weight room as the fans continue to only get more rabid! *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!* Drek and Cappa continue to beat upon each other unmercifully until they both wind up breaking through the double doors on the side. The camera follows them as the two arch rivals find themselves in the aerobic room, surrounded by treadmills, stair climbers, and power bicycles. After a continued fistfight, Drek finally manages to get the advantage. He then forcefully grabs Cappa by his right-arm and gives him a hard irish-whip. The Mad Cappa goes sailing into the wooden horse (you know, the things gymnasts jump over)! The crowd groans as Cappa hits the horse chest first and flips over it, landing on the TOP OF HIS HEAD! COACH OHHHH!!! COLE Ouch! Well, I guess that answered the question if things have patched up between these two. CABOOSE Who would ask such a dumb question anyway?! Drek moves over and begins stomping The Mad Cappa -- but stops when he hears some particularly disturbing footage. COACH THE MAD CAPPA DID IT!! HE DID IT!! CABOOSE I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!! THIS IS DISGUSTING!! BUFFER Your winner…. CABOOSE Ugh. Don’t say it…. BUFFER …..AND NEEEEEEEEEW OAOAST ITALIAN CHAMPION……….. CABOOSE I can’t listen to this….. BUFFER THEEEEEEEEEEEE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAD CAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPA!!!! With rage in his eyes, Drek shoots his head up and spots a television monitor standing before him, hanging from the ceiling. He looks to his left and finds another television. Looking to his right, he finds ANOTHER television. And all of these televisions are playing the exact same thing: COACH You remember this well, don’t you Boose? CABOOSE Ugh, get this off the screen! We don’t need to see this anymore! COLE If I remember correctly, this was from License to Pin, when The Mad Cappa actually made Drek Stone tap out in the Hell-in-a-Cell, winning the Italian Championship back in the process. CABOOSE I think we’ve seen enough of those clips. However, whoever’s responsible for running the television monitors doesn’t exactly agree. The footage rewinds itself and loops back to The Mad Cappa entrapping Drek Stone in the Walls of Cappa once again. Drek, taking a wary breath, can’t help but keep his eyes focused upon the TV screen. DREK I…..I DIDN’T TAP OUT! Almost immediately -- somewhat like sheep -- well, not really somewhat. Exactly like sheep. But you get the idea -- the crowd in the aerobic room start chanting at the Heavyweight Champion about his shameful past. “YOU TAPPED OUT!” “YOU TAPPED OUT!” “YOU TAPPED OUT!” DREK I DID NOT!! I DID NOT!! “YOU TAPPED OUT!” “YOU TAPPED OUT!” DREK IT WAS AN ALLERGIC REACTION! I’M ALLERGIC TO THE WALLS OF CAPPA!! I’M ALLERGIC! I HAVE A DOCTOR’S NOTE SAYING SO!! COLE Uh oh. Drek Stone is starting to flip out here. CABOOSE Well, if he has a doctor’s note, case closed, I think. DREK YOU PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ALLERGIES! NOTHING!! Unfortunately, since Drek Stone was so busy screaming at the audience about his terrible allergies, he’s unable to notice The Mad Cappa locking a handcuff around his taped wrist. In a flash, Cappa then secures the other end to a nearby treadmill. CABOOSE What?! What the hell is The Mad Cappa doing?! Drek, looking shocked that Cappa would pull such a dastardly thing, tries pulling at the handcuff, but inevitably finds himself securely attached. Drek moves onto the treadmill to get a better grip of the cuff, allowing Cappa the chance to turn on the running machine. DREK WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! I’M ALLERGIC TO TREADMILLS TOO!! Drek starts running in place as The Mad Cappa grinds up the treadmill’s speed to its top level. The machine starts moving at a FRANTIC pace as Drek struggles to keep up with it, running as fast as he could. Cappa laughs as he runs out of the room, continuing his bid for the Heavyweight Title. DREK AHHHHHHH! JOSIE!! GET ME OFF THIS CRAZY THING!! Drek then looks up and finds the License to Pin footage still playing on the TV screens. DREK AND GET THAT DAMN MATCH OFF THE SCREEN TOO!! As Drek Stone continues to run in place, The Mad Cappa breaks through the double doors to find himself now in a basketball court. CABOOSE Guys, this isn’t good! Someone needs to get a key and quick. If Drek stays locked to that treadmill, that’s it. His Heavyweight Title run could be finished! Somebody DO SOMETHING!! COACH SO GO GET THE KEY!! CABOOSE …..hmm? The Mad Cappa could see the beach -- and the Heavyweight Title -- calling for him through the next door. But he could also see Alix Spezia standing before him, clutching a basketball in her muscular hands. The room is surprisingly dark, but there’s no doubt to Cappa that the Tag Team Champion is standing before him. ALIX Hey Cappa…… Alix forcefully checks the ball to Cappa. ALIX ….you think you have game?! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!” With a grin, Cappa catches the ball and starts dribbling it slowly. *BOUNCE* *BOUNCE* *BOUNCE* Alix pushes up to him to steal the ball quickly, but Cappa shoves her away with his hip. COACH Guys, Cappa’s Puerto Rican, right? COLE I think so. COACH Oh, this should be cake for him then. COLE ….we make enough racist comments tonight yet? After being checked away so easily, Alix focuses on The Mad Cappa with even more determination. With his back to Alix, Cappa starts easing his way backwards, still calmly dribbling the ball. But suddenly, Alix reaches a hand out and shoves the ball away from Cappa’s control. Cappa gasps as the ball goes bouncing down the court, but Alix runs after it, easily retrieving it. The fans pop loudly as Alix starts marching down the court with the ball safely dribbling before her. Cappa can only look on and stare as Alix brushes past him…. SHE JUMPS UP…. SLAM DUNK!!! COACH BOOMSHAKALAKASHAKALAKA~!~! CABOOSE Already, I’d take her over anyone on the New York Knicks. COACH ZING~! “ALIX!” “ALIX!” “ALIX!” Alix hangs triumphantly off the basketball net, but starts screaming when she realizes that The Mad Cappa is pulling at her panties. Her scream is quickly drowned out by the deafening roar of all the fans standing in the court. “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” As Cappa continues to pull at Alix’s underwear, he notices that he’s no closer at removing the panties from her waist. Instead, a seam is starting to split along the top of her head. Cappa keeps pulling as the seam continues to tear along the back of Alix’s head, then her back, and finally towards her legs. COLE What the hell is going on here? With one final pull, Cappa yanks at the panties -- and an entire bodysuit falls on top of him! Alix, clearly flustered, lets go of the basketball net, drops to the floor, and turns around to face The Mad Cappa! COACH WHOA!!! COLE THAT WASN’T ALIX! IT WAS….. COLE ABE VIGODA!! COACH The former OAOAST Chairman is BACK on HeldDown! The Mad Cappa stares at this Alix IMPOSTER~! in absolute shock. VIGODA Yes, indeedy, son. WHO GOT GAME NOW, BOYEEEEEEEE~?~! For absolutely no reason whatsoever, Abe Vigoda starts doing the Charleston in the center of the basketball court. The Mad Cappa is speechless. The fans are speechless. The announcers: COLE ….. CABOOSE …… COACH …… All speechless. Finally, The Mad Cappa just shakes his head and starts breaking for the final door. COLE So wait…..does this mean Abe Vigoda has been Alix the entire time? CABOOSE Well, it certainly would explain a lot of things. COACH That bicyclist earlier must get off on some really wrinkly titties then…. As The Mad Cappa gets closer to the door leading to the beach, Leon Rodez suddenly leaps out from behind the bleachers and pulls down Cappa’s shorts! Everyone in the building screams out in laughter as The Mad Cappa tries desperately to cover up his Puerto Rican flag thong. COLE *whistles* CABOOSE GHEY~! As Cappa struggles to pull his pants back up, Rodez runs out the door and steps onto the beach. The fans in attendance at Cocoa Beach break out into a wild roar, realizing that Leon Rodez is now the closest one to obtaining the Heavyweight Championship. He starts taking a few steps towards the ring but is suddenly surrounded by his right-wing Christian best friends again. RODEZ Oh, Jeez. What the hell do you guys want now?! Sister Mary Jane, an elderly nun from the Great Church of St. Dominic, steps out of the group with a bottle of clear liquid in her hand. She does the Sign of the Cross upon Rodez’s forehead, then calmly starts spraying the liqud into his eyes. RODEZ Oh my God, that BURNS!!! MARY JANE MR. RODEZ, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!! I PROMISE TO GET SATAN OUT OF YOUR SOUL!! As Rodez shields his eyes in pain, the nun places her right hand on Rodez’s forehead and opens the Bible to some random page. MARY JANE SATAN, EVACUATE THIS YOUNG MAN’S BODY! LET GOD FILL HIS HEART WITH ABSTINENCE AND PRAYER! DRIVE OUT THE EVILS OF SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK N’ROLL! As Sister Mary Jane continues her exorcism upon the X-Division Champion, the crowd suddenly turns to the ocean when they hear someone screaming from a far distance. SWIMMER Help me! HELP ME! I’M DROWNING! However, the Christian group still stays focused on Leon Rodez, determined to help evacuate him from the Devil. RODEZ Guys…..YO! Shouldn’t someone go out and try to help that swimmer? MARY JANE Help him? Oh, God will help him with salvation, yada, yada, yada. Now, BEEZLEBUB, THE LORD DEMANDS YOU LEAVE THIS YOUNG MAN’S BODY! MAY HE NO MORE TAINT THIS COUNTRY WITH IMMORAL PORNOGRAPHIC VIDEOS! As the mob starts to tighten their circle around the X-Champion, Leon Rodez suddenly breaks through them with lightning quick speed and starts darting towards the ocean. COACH Now that is a real hero! He’s determined to save that poor swimmer out there! As Rodez dashes towards the ocean to save this unfortunate diver, the footage suddenly begins to slow down. Instead of running quickly, Leon Rodez seems to actually be going in slow motion. His footprints in the sand become more impactful. The wind slowly blows around him, causing his hair to lightly flip around his head. And from nowhere in particular, a familiar jingle can be heard. Some people stand in the darkness Afraid to step into the light Some people need to help somebody When the edge of surrender’s in sight.. The camera dramatically catches the swimmer struggling the ocean, then Rodez continuing to surge towards the water. Don’t you worry! Its gonna be alright ‘cause I’m always ready, I won’t let you out of my sight. As Rodez gets closer to the ocean, the camera suddenly finds someone running alongside Leon Rodez. Rodez comes to a slow stop and looks across him to find…. RODEZ PA…….PAM….. PAMELA ANDERSON Rodez, let me handle this one. Don’t worry about it. Pamela Anderson then shoves Leon Rodez into the sand and dives into the ocean, presumably to save the diver. I’ll Be Ready I’ll Be Ready Never you fear No, don’t you fear I’ll be ready Forever and always I’m always here. Of course, we don’t care about him anymore. CABOOSE Was that PA…..PAM….. COACH PAM…..um, PAM….. COLE Pamela Anderson, right? I don’t understand this attraction everyone has to her. COACH I didn’t even realize she still did this gig! As Rodez rolls along the sand, still enamored with the fact that Pamela Anderson touched him on the shoulder, he slowly moves onto his knees. Once he gets up, he starts running forward and almost goes crashing into a hot dog vendor. However, he manages to stop himself at the last minute from imminent deep-fried disaster. Wanting to confront this near catastrophe, Rodez gets ready to scream at the vendor -- but stops when he actually realizes who it is. CABOOSE Well, now this is just getting ridiculous! Rodez shakes his head in surprise before speaking to this superstar actor who has fallen from grace. RODEZ David…..it’s come to this?! HASSELHOFF It’s not too bad! All the free hot dogs you could want, you know? The ever-popular AWKWARDNESS floats down between these two modern American heroes as they slowly stare down at their feet, wanting to break away from the conversation but not quite knowing what to say. Finally, Leon Rodez makes the first move. RODEZ Well, David…..I, uh….hmm…..I have a Heavyweight Title to win. I’ll talk to you later. HASSELHOFF Yeah, sure, sure. Nice seeing you, man. As Leon breaks away to obtain his first ever Heavyweight Championship, David Hasselhoff thinks out loud to himself. HASSELHOFF An actor winning a professional wrestling Heavyweight title?! That could rejuvenate my career! Seconds after Rodez starts running down to the beach, Hasselhoff goes chasing after him. COACH Well, that probably isn’t going to end good. COLE Wait, I’m being told someone else is walking around here…. The camera picture leaves the Rodez Saga for a second, and spots Drek Stone jogging along the beachside, trying to get back into this thing. CABOOSE YES! DREK! How do you think he got out of those cuffs?! COACH Let’s just say a wizard did it. The Heavyweight Champion continues to run along the beach, desperately trying to get his title belt before someone could steal it from him. Along the way, he makes it a point to stomp down sandcastles and grin at the children’s sobbing faces as he does it. He suddenly stops his run in the middle, however, when he spots someone tanning on a beach towel. With a smile, Drek eases his way over to the man, wanting to get a better look at what exactly the casual tourist is doing. DREK Hmm. Drek Stone slowly looks down at the lotion-covered face of this casual beachgoer. With evil intentions dancing through his mind, Drek reaches down and grabs a nice, heavy handful of sand. COLE Oh, come on. There’s no need for this. With reckless abandon, Drek then drops the cloud of sand onto the tourist’s face. The man turns and starts coughing as Drek steps back -- and KICKS a plume of sand into the man’s face! CABOOSE YES! YES! That’s how you treat a 100-lb weakling! Wonderful. Drek Stone lets out a LOUD laugh as the man rolls over, trying to get the sand of his eyes. He then stands -- --and keeps standing -- --and keeps standing! COLE UH-OH! COACH That wasn’t a 100-lb weakling, guys! With unbelieving eyes, Drek stares upwards as the man’s height continues to rise. Finally, the Heavyweight Champion comes to the same realization everyone at home has already discovered. COLE IT’S THE SADIST! CABOOSE RUN, DREK! RUN! DREK Without waiting another second, Drek starts high-tailing it out of there, not wanting to face The Sadist’s wrath. The Sadist takes a moment to wipe the sand out of his eyes, then pulls a pair of sunglasses out of his swim trunks. He slowly puts them over his eyes, cracks his fists together, then starts stalking down the beach after Drek Stone! The fans of Cocoa Beach start cheering rabidly as Drek jets down the beach, with the suntan lotion-covered face of The Sadist following right behind him. CABOOSE Come on, Sadist! It was a joke! COACH Can’t blame the man. He was trying to pick up chicks, na’mean? CABOOSE Na…..what? As Drek zooms down to the beach, he comes to The Mad Cappa and Alix shoving each other back and forth. Suddenly, Leon Rodez comes between the two of them and pulls them apart. THE MAD CAPPA Why the hell would you have Abe Vigoda dress up in a Alix costume?! ALIX I told you! I thought it would be FUNNY!! LEON RODEZ Guys, guys, come on. That’s enough fighting! Cappa, I hate you. Drek, you’re an asshole. Alix, you be one happening ho. And while I know we’re in the middle of a match right now, stop and think about it for a second. We’re on a beach, right? CAPPA Yeah…. LEON RODEZ The weather outside is beautiful, correct? DREK Sure. LEON RODEZ So come on! There’s only one thing we really can do right now. Let’s…. ALIX DANCE! Everyone on the beach -- the fans, the wrestlers, and even the referee -- suddenly break out into a wild beach dance as a boom box nearby starts to play some lively pop music. ALL I’m gonna grab my girl And head to the beach Hick-A-Doo-La! Drek Stone and Alix start grinding together as the song plays. ALL We’re gonna all hang then And then maybe then Hick-A-Doo-La Cappa and Rodez fall simultaneously to the sand, then do kip-ups back to their feet CAPPA, DREK, RODEZ Cause I’m a Hick-A-Doo-La Boy! ALIX And I’m a Hick-A-Doo-La Girl! ALL And together it’s a Hick-A-Doo-La world! Hick-A-Doo-La! As everyone on the beach dances in place, Cappa leans over to Alix with a confused look on his face. CAPPA Alix, what does Hick-A-Doo-La mean? The music stops for a moment as everyone stares at The Mad Cappa. ALL WHAT DOES HICK-A-DOO-LA MEAN?! ALIX Well, Hick-A-Doo-La is that special feeling you get when you fondle your tag team partner! RODEZ It’s having kinky sex with two beautiful girls! DREK It’s stomping grapes at your beautiful summer home in Sicily! STEPHEN POPICK It’s obeying ALL the rules! Simulatenously, Drek Stone, Leon Rodez, Alix, and The Mad Cappa pick Stephen Joseph up over their head and run towards the ocean. They then throw Stephen Popick… *SPLASH* …into the water! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Suddenly, the music stops and all four superstars stare each other down. But before they can react, The Sadist stomps by and pushes both Drek Stone and The Mad Cappa to the ground. Drek and Cappa look up in absolute shock. DREK CAPPA All four wrestlers then start sprinting for the ring, really eager to capture the Heavyweight Title they all feel they’re entitled to. COLE It’s a wild sprint to capture that title in the center of the ring! Who’s gonna get to it first?! CABOOSE Come on, Drek! GET THAT TITLE! COME ON!! Somehow, Alix actually manages to pull away with the lead. Drek, Cappa, and Rodez start screaming as Alix hops up to the ring apron with one jump and tries making her way in. But before she can step through the ropes, Cappa snatches her in a powebomb position and starts pulling her away from the ropes. Alix tries holding onto the top rope with all her strength, but Drek and Rodez work together to swat at her arms. Finally, she’s forced to release. As she does, Cappa runs forward and…. *CRASH!* GIVES HER A CAPPABOMB ONTO THE WOODEN RAMP! Instantly after Alix hits the ground, she breaks through several of the planks, leaving an imprint of her body in the wood! The fans can’t believe it, and break out into a loud series of jeers. However, those jeers are quickly broken up by a familiar chant. “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” The Cocoa Beach crowd breaks out into a wild applause as Alix rolls around a mangled mess of wooden planks and splinters. COLE My god! Alix went RIGHT THROUGH that wooden ramp! CABOOSE What a POWERFUL powerbomb! I already respect The Mad Cappa even more! The Mad Cappa turns around and spots Drek Stone and Leon Rodez standing there watching him. It’s now down to those three. An actual moment of silence passes between the competitors before they suddenly make a wild scramble to the ring again! Leon Rodez tries sliding into the ring to get the belt quickly -- “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” -- but Cappa manages to hold onto his ankle, keeping him from getting into the ring! CABOOSE Oh my god! This is too close! Cappa, hold him there! Please! Rodez tries kicking himself away from Cappa’s grip, but it’s no use. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Drek Stone comes running with a beach umbrella in his hands. He swings it upward -- -- AND SMASHES THE UMBRELLA OVER CAPPA’S HEAD! The Mad Cappa’s head pops out through the other side of the fabric, effectively hanging the umbrella off his neck! COLE Beach umbrella! Beach umbrella! Beach umbrella! CABOOSE YES! WE KNOW! Cappa stares at Drek Stone with a blank expression on his face for a moment, then slowly starts falling backwards. COACH TIMB-E-E-R-R-R-R-R-R-R! Cappa hits the grains of sand lifelessly, with the umbrella still wrapped around his neck! COLE Looks like Cappa might be out of this match too! We could be down to two! With Cappa’s grip now released from his ankle, Leon gets back up immediately. With no one blocking him, Rodez is free to RUN FOR THE GOLD…. CABOOSE NO! NO! ….NO! DREK HOPS UP TO THE APRON AND YANKS AT LEON’S HAIR! Leon turns around quickly and gives Drek Stone a hard shot to the face. Drek reels back, coming close to falling off the apron, but Rodez hangs onto him by his head. He pulls the Heavyweight Champion towards the corner and starts forcing him to climb the turnbuckle. COACH What is Leon Rodez prepared to do here?! CABOOSE Come on, Leon! This is the guy you just danced with! Still grabbing a full hold of his opponent’s hair, Rodez finally forces Drek to stand on the top rope. Once he does so, Leon starts climbing up after him. Eventually, they both end up on the top turnbuckle, with the reaction in Cocoa Beach starting to reach a fever pitch. Leon hooks Drek Stone up in a superplex position, and the fans start screaming even louder. CABOOSE NO, NO, NO, NO!!! COLE Is he going to push him off that turnbuckle?! Finally, after taking a few moments to summon his strength, Rodez LIFTS DREK STONE UP -- -- NO! DREK BLOCKS IT! Not being deterred, Leon tries lifting Drek up AGAIN -- --NO! DREK BLOCKS IT AGAIN! Rodez tries a third attempt, but suddenly Drek drops his head, placing it near Rodez’s midsection. Stone suddenly lifts his neck up quickly -- -- AND DROPS LEON RODEZ FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE SANDY BEACH WITH A BACK-BODY DROP!! LEON LANDS FLAT ON HIS BACK AFTER FALLING FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! COACH WHOA!!! CABOOSE YES! THAT’S IT! “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” CABOOSE Come on, Drek! This thing is over! Grab the title! However, instead of seizing his opportunity and rushing for the title, Drek falls off the top rope onto the ring mat. He simply looks too spent to reach for his belt. COLE What’s going on here?! Everyone is out cold! Who the hell is going to claim this title?! COACH WAIT….wait, Cole! Not everybody! As the fans wait for one of the competitors to stir, they can only watch as David Hasselhoff jumps out through the crowd and over the ring barrier. He makes a sprint for the ring as the fans scream for someone -- ANYONE -- to stop this! COLE NO! NO! COACH DON’T TELL ME! DAVID HASSELHOFF SLIDES INTO THE RING!! HE REACHES FOR THE TITLE!! NO!!! THE SADIST SUDDENLY GRABS A HOLD OF HASSELHOFF’S ANKLE AND YANKS HIM OUT OF THE RING!! COACH OH MY GOD!! In one swift motion, The Sadist wraps a hand around Hasselhoff’s throat, lifts him up -- -- AND CHOKESLAMS HIM INTO THE SAND!! COLE What a chokeslam! CABOOSE Serves Hasselhoff right! Go back to Germany! With Hasselhoff now taken out of the match as well, Drek Stone slowly starts to stir in the ring. The fans begin screaming as they see the completely worn out Drek start to muscle himself onto his knees. CABOOSE Yes! Go Drek! Come on! COLE Could this be it?! With the Heavyweight Title halfway across the ring from him, Drek starts to slowly crawl towards it. The fans of Cocoa Beach really start shouting for anyone to stop him, but it looks to be useless at this time. Drek keeps crawling. Crawling for his gold. Crawling for HIS property. Finally, he gets close enough! CABOOSE YES! YES! He reaches his arm up -- “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” -- and wraps his hand around the Heavyweight Title! *DING! DING! DING!* BUFFER WINNER OF THIS MATCH…..AND STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION……DRRRRRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!! The REAL sounds of “Woke Up This Morning” start to blast over the loudspeakers as Drek pulls the title closer to him and hugs the gold tightly near his chest. CABOOSE Oh, wow! I can’t believe it! What an amazing champion! What an absolutely inspiring champion! COLE Well, Drek Stone is sure to go in the record books now. The first-ever Run for the Gold winner! Folks, this was an entertaining one the entire way through, no doubt about it! COACH I don’t even know what the hell happened. As Drek holds the title to his chest, he starts using the top rope to pull himself up to his feet. Once he gets to a standing position, and all is right in the world to him, the hard-rock sounds of an electric guitar are enough to scare the Heavyweight Champion once more. CUE: Black CABOOSE NO! COLE COULD IT BE?! CABOOSE Come on! Keep him out of here! Nobody let him through! With wide eyes, Drek stares out at the entranceway, obviously not wanting to see his Zero Hour at this point and time. Stone then moves to the ring ropes facing the ramp and leans out over the top, signaling to Hoff that’s he ready to fight him. However, since his attention is so solidly focused on the ring ramp, he’s unable to notice someone running out through the crowd. Someone jumping over the ringside barrier. Someone sliding into the ring. And someone KNOCKING DREK STONE OVER THE TOP ROPE! COLE HOFF!! CABOOSE OH, DAMMIT! Once Drek hits the ground, Hoff immediately climbs out through the ropes to follow him. Drek tries sprinting away from the current #1 Contender, but Hoff simply won’t allow him to get away. He grabs Drek by his left arm, yanks it towards him, and brings Drek Stone down with a HARD short-arm clothesline! The fans in the building let out a wild cheer as Drek drops to the ground nursing his neck. “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Once Drek spends a second regaining his bearings, he grabs his title belt and starts making a wild dash towards the beach. Hoff chases after him like a lion stalking his prey, knowing he has the champion at his mercy. Drek tries desperately to run down to the ocean, but once he actually gets close to the water, Hoff hits him with a clothesline to the back of the head, bringing Drek Stone down once more. CABOOSE Come on! Where’s the Sadist when you need him?! David Hasselhoff?! Abe Vigoda?! SOMEONE! SOMEONE STOP HOFF FROM DOING SOMETHING WE’LL ALL REGRET! Not happy with simply knocking Drek Stone down, Hoff picks him up off the beach by the back of his head. He takes a moment to brush the sand off Drek’s chest, then lightly kicks the Heavyweight Title off to the side. Drek woozily tries to fall down, but Hoff keeps a solid hold on him. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Unleashing a violent scream, Hoff picks Drek Stone up…. *BAM!* *SPLASH!* …..AND SPINEBUSTERS HIM INTO THE OCEAN! The fans in Cocoa Beach start going absolutely INSANE as Hoff rises and stands before the Heavyweight Champion, proudly grinning at what he just did. CABOOSE I can not believe this! What happened to the honor Hoff used to have?! I ACTUALLY USED TO RESPECT THAT GUY! I can’t believe it! As Drek lays lifelessly in the water, Hoff picks the Heavyweight Title off of the beach. With a wink, Hoff looks out at the fans, then wipes the grains of sand of the gold plate of the Heavyweight Championship. Finally, Hoff symbolically places the title over his shoulder, receiving a massive positive reaction in return. COLE Hoff was the Heavyweight Champion once before! Could this be what we see at Zero Hour?! COACH Well, minus the beach, of course. But honestly, Cole, I really do think this is a good sign of the future! Can Drek Stone actually beat Hoff?! CABOOSE YES! YES! Even after Hoff’s disgusting actions tonight, Drek Stone will destroy him at Zero Hour! He has to! Hoff raises the title up over his head, as the current sweeps in and slowly starts to take the lifeless body of Drek Stone out to sea. The camera fades away as Drek floats further out into the ocean. Missing one important possession. The one possession that means the most to him. The one possession he fought so unbelievably hard for tonight. The OAOAST Heavyweight Title. Now proudly sitting over Hoff’s shoulder. ******************************************************** GENE ........Okay. We'll be back right after this with the Free TV match of the year. Tables, ladders and chairs......oh my.

CREDITS: King Cucaracha for the Angle Awards outline Everyone that wrote speeches Zack Malibu for the Upstarts Invasion segment Nice Guy Adam for Axel/Calvin Stephen Joseph for PK/SJ II And KingPK for putting it all together. © 2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All Rights Reserved. Stay tuned for the bonus third hour, with reposts of the Matches of the Year!

COLE Folks, there's not much more to say about our main event. Peter Knight has one last chance to win the OAOAST World Championship or he will not get another shot for three hundred and sixty-five days. Let's see how this came about. VOICEOVER: There are times when a man is tested, and his true character revealed VIDEO PLAYS: Knight collapses to his knees as the fans scream displeasure. Popick brings Knight to the corner and applies a full nelson – then jumps off and round and delivers FINALITY! Cover! Hebner recovers quickly and gets in position for the count. ONE! TWO! CABOOSE No! No! THREE! VOICEOVER Stephen Joseph, a World Champion who swore to take all on comers. His greatest challenge lay not before him, but in his past. The man he pinned to win this coveted title. VIDEO Imposing look up at the big man, Peter Knight VOICEOVER Tonight, the OAOAST will find out just what kind of men Stephen Joseph and Peter Knight really are... FADE TO BLACK JOSH MATTHEWS Josh Matthews here standing by with Peter Knight. Peter, any thoughts on your upcoming title match? Peter Knight, clad in his wrestling gear, adjusts an armband while looking down, sideways, reflectively. He face contorts into a grimace, and then a smile. He chuckles and looks at Josh through the corner of his eye. PETER KNIGHT Josh, after tonight, I'm going to be the World Heavyweight Champion. The "Face" on this promotion is going to change, for the better, for 2006. And with that, Peter Knight walks away from Josh Matthews. JOSH MATTHEWS Over to Jesse Ventura, with Stephen Joseph ::WOOOSSHHH:: Stephen Joseph is standing next to Jesse Ventura, with THA PUERTO RICAN standing behind him. They're obviously on the other side of the arena from Matthews JESSE VENTURA Stephen, same question STEPHEN JOSEPH 2005 is the MY year. I am not.... NOT. LOSING. Peter Knight, you are going to have to MURDER me to get this belt off of my waist. Jesse, I am a champion, a proud champion, a fighting champion, and by any means necessary, I will remain...champion. Peter Knight, you don't know what you have to sacrifice to be World Champion. You've forgotten the face of your father, of your fans, of your tag team partner. ::Stephen pauses, and adds one last thing:: And Axel, I swear, by my life and my love of it, if you so dare as to interfere in this match, and try to screw me again, I can, and I will, make your tenure as Commissioner a living hell. To me, you would be worse than ... Zack Malibu. Don't fuck with me Axel. I didn't become the OAOAST's most hated man for not knowing how to play backstage. Tha Puerto Rican grabs the microphone THA PUERTO RICAN Fuck with Popick? You fuck with me too! And all the LC! Fuck Us? Fuck YOU! FADE TO BLACK COLE Fans, we are minutes away from what may be the most anticipated rematch of 2005. Stephen Joseph, OAOAST Champion COACH A Champion of Champions! COLE will face Peter Knight in a rematch of their ClimaXxX bought. That match ended in a disqualification when now Commissoner Axel attacked Stephen Joseph CABOOSE I don't like losing Calvin as a General Manager, I thought he did a stand up job, but I love Axel's approach to dealing with Stephen Joseph. COLE Let's bring it down to the ring PYRO! PYRO! PYRO!!!! MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentleman, your MAIN EVENT! This contest is fought with a 30 minute time limit, and is for the O-A-O-A-S-T World HeavyWeight Championship. Introducing first, the CHALLENGER, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE POUNDS, from FALL RIVER, Masssachusetts, he is renowned as one of the greatest wrestlers to have never held a World Title, and the master of the Knightmare....PEEETTERRR KNIGHT! ::The crowd stands up and cheers for Peter Knight, who runs out of the entrance ramp and is FIRED UP! He's out there before his music hit, screaming and slapping his chest with fire and passion. A fan holds out a sign "Stephen Joseph's Worst KnightMare!":: CUE: OHH HELL YEAH! CUE: The flashing blue lights of doom! Peter Knight steps out gingerly from behind the curtain, his face a seething ocean of rage and anger, and he's not reacing to anything the crowd is saying, but to what he's thinking inside. This is his last chance. He ignores requests for high fives, cheers, jeers, but he does pose for the crowd at the bottom of the ramp. He walks determined, straight into the ring. He slides in and begins to run the ropes, all business. Staring at the ref, Peter stops and has a few words, but nothing to serious, as the referee checks his knee and arm pads. COLE Knight is certainly a different demeanor than last time. CABOOSE He's hungry Cole, very hungry BUFFER Annddd, introoducing the CHAMPION, he weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN POUNDS, from Atlanta, Gerogia... He is the CURRENT REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST CHAMMPPPIOOON OFFF THE WWWORRRRLLDDDDDDDD, He is the "Most Hated Man in the OAOAST today", he issss STTTEEEPHHHEEEN JOOOSEEEEEPHH!!!!! Cue: It Ain't Over For Me Cole Fans, let me tell you. By order of the OAOAST Corporate Office, BOTH locker rooms have had security placed at their entrances to ensure no outside interference in this match! Caboose That's great news! Coach But what if they just wanted to watch? Take Notes? Cole As if. Coach Whatever, Loser. Caboose(yelling) Shut the fuck up and let me listen to the crowding booing the man I hate more than Regis Philbin! The crowd rains down its boos and jeers upon the self proclaimed, yet no one will argue with, Most Hated Man in the OAOAST. Tha Puerto Rican heads out first, but waits for Stephen Joseph, who hands Puerto the OAOAST belt. Tha Puerto Rican THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HEEEEREE! Stephen Joseph walks down the ramp with Puerto in tow, holding the World Championship aloft like Stephen is a boxer, or something. Anyways, I guess its pretty obvious that Stephen's found a way to get some backup support! Stephen Joseph rolls into the ring and compeltely ignores Peter Knight. He hands Michael Buffer a card. BUFFER And Introducing Stephen Joseph's manager for the evening, THA PUERTO RICAN~! COACH That's so smart. Axel didn't ban manager's from ringside! Stephen Joseph hangs out in his corner, leaning against the ropes as Puerto stays on the ring apron, talking strategy with his career consultant. The two meet fists, and Puerto jumps off the ring apron, and watches from the outside. DING! DING! DING! COLE And we're underway in this title fight. CABOOSE Look at POPICK! prance up there. I'd kick his ass... COACH Didn't he kick your ass a few weeks ago! Go Popick! COLE I thought he didn't like being called that. Stephen Joseph walks right up to meet Peter Knight in the middle of the ring. Its now very obvious Stephen is giving up height and weight to the big man, but then again, Stephen has THA PUERTO RICAN in his corner. Peter kinda sorta ended things with his friend Parka a while back, so well, no body wants to help him out. Knight draws towards Stephen in a proud walk of sorts, anything looks proud when you're as big as Knight. Stephen extends his hand, saying "May the best man win". Peter Knight sizes the hand up for a moment, and then looks at Stephen. The crowd's booing the gesture, and Knight returns the crowd's sentiments with a spit in the general direction of Popick's outstreched arm. "Yeah, guess there's only one man here" Stephen says as he paces in place. "Okay then, lets' go Chumba Wumba." Stephen puts up his dukes and backs away a step, motioning for Knight to close in, start fighting. Knight stares blankly. One can imagine he can't hear the crowd screaming "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" but he does. He's just thinking. Knight steps forward, and Stephen darts a right punch that hits flush with Knight's cheek. Knight doesn't flinch, and catches Stephen's arm on the rebound. " OH SHIT!" Stephen audibly screams as Knight pulls him in. He tries to duck, but Knight's arm is just too mammothly HYOGE, and Peter sends the Upstart to the mat with a thundering clothesline. The crowd roars in approval. Knight bends to pick Stephen up, but Stephen responds with a leg scissors, falling the giant to the canvas. The crowd boos, but Stephen floats over, all business, and sinches in a side headlock on Peter's left shoulder, putting his weight against the crevice of the giant's armpit, keeping the leverage. Peter struggles in pain. Stephen Joseph has studied all of his life on this one side of the human body in an effort to make his finisher more lethal, and more deadly. This locks hurts people, and Knight is struggling. With a flash of insight, Knight realizes he can pull Stephen's hair with his free right hand, and he does, shifting the weight in such a way that reduces the leverage, and Knight gets up to one knee! COLE Knight resorting to tactics normally reserved for Stephen Joseph CABOOSE It's a title match, you gotta expect everything SJ yells at the ref "DO SOMETHING AWWWWWOOWWW!!!" and the ref warns Knight to release the hair. Peter does, and SJ stands back up and drops down with the elbow. It misses as the crowd ooohhs, Knight rolled out of the way. Knight stands up while SJ clutches his elbow mutter "FUCK FUCK FUCK", and Knight goes for an elbow. Stephen's not there though, and even so, he was playing possum, as Knight misses with his left elbow. The arm hits the mat, and Stephen is back on it with a kick to his left shoulderblade, and then the elbow drop connects. The crowd chants "KNIGHT KNIGHT KNIGHT!" as Stephen stands up, applauding himself and pointing at the fallen big man. "You chant for this? He ain't shit!" Stephen runs to the ropes, bouncing off of them with an eye for a legdrop. Knight has gotten to one knee, and lunges at the last second, catching Stephen in a tackle of sorts, and Knight lands on top. COACH OUCH! "GwwawAAHHHHH" says Stephen as the big man's weight takes away his air. Knight in the mount position, and he pulls Stephen's head up, glancing at the crowd who screams in delight. He delivers a punch, and another one. Follow along. 1! 2! 3! 4! Knight looks around, and headbutts Stephen down! 5! COLE Knight with a series of punches to Stephen Joseph CABOOSE I'm loving it COACH I'm not worried Knight stands up and applauds himself, looking at Tha Puerto Rican. "Pissant crony" Knight says, and that draws Puerto to jump up to the ring apron. Puerto jaws with Knight, and Knight jaws back, as the referee tells PR to get down! Puerto does so, but only after he sees Stephen Joseph hit the greatest equalizer known to man, the NUTCRACKER, on Peter Knight, who goes crosseyed. The ref didn't see it, but Stephen takes advantage, positioning himself behind a tear-eyed Knight, Stephen's head under Knight's left shoulderblade, and he lifts the big man up with a big stalling 1, 2, 3 second side suplex! Stephen slides over and on top of Knight for the first cover of the night! The referee turns around and quickly falls to the mat. And a 1, and a 2 KICKOUT! or rather a pushout with authority, as Knight lofts Stephen Joseph up a foot or so and to the side. Stephen lands like a frog, or a cat, and spins around on his left leg with a thrust kick that's caught by Knight's right hand. Knight stand up holding SJ's leg prone, SJ hopping like a retarded kid in a 2 partner sack race (with no partner). Stephen spins down with an Enziguri!, but Knight grabs his left foot. Quickly changing position, Knight sends Stephen up and over with a WheelBarrow Suplex. Knight covers as the crowd roars...1! and a 2! and Stephen Joseph puts his foot on the ropes to break up the pin attempt. Smart thinking by the champion, because kickout out takes alot more energy than the ole foot on the ropes bit. Knight, a bit perturbed, kicks Popick whil he's down in the right shoulder, and then picks him up by his hair! "OWWW OWW GAWD DAMMIT OWWW!" screams Stephen Joseph " FUDGE NUT RIPPLE!" he screams when Knight slaps a knife edge chop with his big left hand across SJ's steps. Knight positions himself again, and pulls Stephen Joseph forward and across the ring to the other turnbuckle on the other side with a big Irish Whip. Stephen hits with his back, and dodges a big boot from Knight as a follow up. Peter crotches himself on the turnbuckle ropes! Stephen Joseph slaps the chest of Knight once, then gets an idea. "Hey, turnbuckles work better exposed, dontcha think?" and the Champion goes to work immediately on untying the turnbuckle pad, which comes off quickly...almost too quickly...nahhh. SJ throws the turnbuckle into the crowd, who fight for the souvenir. Knight, meanwhile, has untangled himself from the ropes and is standing on the ring apron. Stephen darts in two quick punches to the abdomen, and the enters into a suplex position with Knight. He's giving up like 70 pounds and 4 inches, this is impossible! Stephen tries to suplex Knight back into the ring, but only gets him up 3 or so inches. Knight grunts and blocks the suplex, and returns the favor, but pulling SJ over the ropes and down to the ring floor, SJ Thudding hard into the mat outside as Knight lands more gently on his shoulder! The crowd roars in approval as Stephen thrashes about "GREAT GOOGGLY MOOGLY THAT SMARTS!" He twerks and twitches on the outside, and Knight stands up shaking his right leg that he kinda sorta but not really too hard landed on. He points to the ring steps, and when the opportunity presents itself, throws SJ into them. THUD! CLANG! "MotherFucker!" You get the point, and SJ did too, with a red welt on his forehead. The ref warns Knight to bring it back into the ring, so Knight does get in the ring, and hangs back in a turnbuckle corner, just smiling and waiting...This match is his. SJ very shakidly gets himself back into the ring, and Knight applauds in mockage. About this time, a visitor steps out onto the stage and places a chair solidly down at the top of the ramp. The crowd gasps as its the NU OAOAST General Manager Axel, come to check on his most favorite person's title defense. Or, as Cole would say, prevent outside interference. Knight goes to pick up SJ while Tha Puerto Rican goes to stand at the bottom of the ramp, staring at Axel. Knight slams Popicks head into the turnbuckle not once, not twice, not thrice, but fourthethit. Stephen's eyes glass over and he stumbles back. Knight whips Stephen Joseph 180 and places his head between Knight's mammoth's legs. Whirly SitOut PowerBOMB from Knight to Stephen Joseph, planting him firmly in the middle of the ring with a sickening thud. Tha Puerto Rico turns and looks, and Axel applauds. Knight quickly covers Stephen Joseph, grasping at his right leg and begging the ref to count quickly. 1! The crowd buzzes 2! SJ doesn't stir! 2.9 and SJ gets a shoulder up! As he does, he moves his head to the side, and coughs out some blood. Internal bleeding, or he bit his tongue, either way, it is INTERNAL, from that powerbomb. Knight slaps the mat in disgust, but smiles. He lifts a pretty much deadweight SJ back onto his feet, and then quickly rams Stephen Joseph into the turnbuckle closest to them. Knight pulls SJ on top of the turnbuckle, and scales it himself, placing SJ's head again beneath his legs. Stephen tries now to fight it, but one whack on his back quiets him. The crowd shushes as it sense imminent doom for the current champion. Knight picks him up....and powerbombs Stephen Joseph to the outside, onto the ring floor! That's gotta be a 10 foot drop, and SJ lands with no protection, his left arm making a sickening thud! and a snap, crackle, and pop! SJ screams in pain as Tha Puerto Rican runs over. The ref slides under the ring ropes and goes to check on Stephen Joseph. Stephen's screaming "MY ARM MY ARM! OH LILY!" and it appears that his arm is broken, below the elbow, I guess that's the femur bone. Stephen screams at Puerto to pick him up, and Puerto does, but not before the referee goes over to talk an unknown suited OAOAST official. The ref turns around and brings his arm around... And then.... Stephen catches the arm with his right hand. "I AM NOT QUITTING!, he says while Puerto Rico makes a shocked expression. The ref shrugs his shoulders as if to say "Okay, your life, not mine" but then dodges out of the way as Peter Knight steamrolls both SJ and Puerto down to the mat. His left arm useless, Knight picks up Stephen Joseph and rolls him into the ring. He covers, and this could be over quickly. Axel stands up. 1! 2! 3! NO! Stephen gets his right shoulder just milliseconds before the ref's hands hit the ground. A reply shows above that it was literally 1 inch, 1 inch from being over. The crowd moans, and Peter Knight can't believe it. Without any disregard to Stephen Joseph's health, he picks him up onto his shoulderblades, and comes down hard ... KNIGHTMARE! Peter Knight has hit the nightmare. Axel stands up and applauds! The crowd roars. Puerto can't believe it! Knight slides down with the cover, over the right shoulder! 1! 2! Here comes the arm! Stephen's got nowhere to go! 3! NO! Stephen kicks the arm of the OAOAST referee, and hits the referee in the head as well! He goes limp! What a counter! Peter Knight just cannot believe it. The crowd can't. Axel can't either. He storms down to the ring, and Tha Puerto Rican cuts him off, buying Stephen Joseph some time so what, his arm can heal? Puerto and Axel jaw on the outside, and Peter Knight stands over the referee on the inside. Joseph stirs, the crowd goes nuts, and Peter turns around, and Stephen Joseph hits THE GREAT EQUALIZER AGAIN! Knight crumples to one knee, and Joseph slides out of the ring clutching his arm. He goes over to the announce table, and with his good arm, kicks open the first aid kit. Searching with his feet, Joseph finds the first thing he's looking for, a shot of painkiller! He jabs it into his left shoulder, wincing, but the job gets done. He next gets some gauze and pulls his left arm across his chest, making a modified shoulder sling as Peter Knight recovers. SJ must have been a boy scout to know first aid like that. Joseph finishes up and comes back into the ring, with Knight standing up and turning around on the far side. "You gotta KILL ME KNIGHT!" Joseph screams as he runs towards the big man, placing a nice thrust kick to Peter's chest, sending Peter into the turnbuckle. Joseph wails away with his good right hand, pounding Knight down to the ground. And Axel has had enough. He shoves Tha Puerto Rican away, and PR shoves him right back. Axel thinks about it, and backs away, which allows Puerto to look at the action in the ring... Stephen Joseph as lifted Peter Knight back up with his one good arm to a standing position in the corner. Dragging him by his hair, SJ walks out with Knight about two steps, and then lifts him onto his back, in a massive feat of strength. Stephen then walks back and places Peter Knight on the turnbuckle, sitting, facing the ring. Joseph scales the turnbuckle. Hurricanrana? No. Stephen Joseph wraps his one good arm around PK's neck with a half-full nelson, and then lets out a big sigh. The crowd stands up, not believing Stephen Joseph is going to try it, let alone hit...Joseph pulls and jumps/falls backwards, Pulling Knight over in a rolling motion, knees hitting the mat right before Knight's head splats on the canvas. The crowd gasps, and instinctively, without regard for the man that they hate, break into a "HOLY SHIT!" chant for the one-armed Synchronicity Driver. And Cheers! Stephen Joseph looks around, and then falls onto Peter Knight. The Crowd Chants along 1! 2! 3! 4! Stephen Joseph looks around, and the ref is STILL OUT. Then he turns towards the entrance, and he gives Tha Puerto Rican a thumbs open, which transforms into an "OH SHIT" mouth that Puerto doesn't register...until the pain of a steel chair enters the 24/7 Champ's head. Axel went and had gotten a folding chair from a fan, and HOLY SHIT, was that? But its too quick to register who handed him the chair, as he's dragged off by security. Axel stares over a fallen Puerto Rico into the ring where Stephen Joseph stands. Stephen Joseph stares back, and begs Axel to come into the ring. Axel thinks for a moment, and then rushes into the ring, steel chair still in hand "What? YOUR boy is interfering in this match! I'm here to be unbiased! Stephen Joseph jaws right back "YOU?! You backstabbing no good sanctimonious sob of a bitch" Axel stares back and tosses the chair down on the mat. "C'mon, I'll be the referee!" "YOU!! FUCK NO!" And Stephen Joseph pushes Axel back. Axel rebounds from the ring ropes and pushes Stephen Joseph, who bounces back...and into a recovering Peter Knight. KNIGHTMARE! Peter Knight reaches down and instinctively hits his finisher! He collapses into a cover, pulling up SJ's left shoulder. Axel quickly drops down for the count... 1, 2 , NO KICKOUT! The count was a rather fast one too. Knight slaps the mat in disgust, as SJ rolls onto his chest in pain. Knight spies the chair. He picks it up, and goes towards Stephen Joseph, murder in his eyes. He brings the chair back, and brings it down, NO! Axel rips the chair away! He starts yelling at Knight "You can't use a chair!" Knight turns around and says "Oh yeah, why not!" Axel stares back, nostrils flaring, eyes fuming, two men who hate Stephen Joseph now locked nose to nose with each other. Stephen Joseph is recovering, standing up. Axel sees this, and pushes Knight to the side, and BLASTS Stephen Joseph with a chair shot, unprotected, to the head. Joseph goes limp. Axel points to the fallen champion as a hush comes over the crowd."Because I wanted to do that, and now You're going to finish him!" Axel tosses the chair onto the mat as Knight picks up the deadweight that is Stephen Joseph. Looking at where the chair is, Knight positions himself next to it and then points to the crowd. CABOOSE YES! DO IT!! Peter Knight drops down, KNIGHTMARE onto the steel chair! The sound of skull hitting metal reverberates through the arena as Joseph is sent to LaLa Land. COLE My God, oh my God!! Stephen Joseph may have a serious concussion here. Knight comes over , and nonchalantly puts one foot on SJ broken arm which is slung to his chest. Axel, HeldDown General Manger, drops down. Normally the crowd would pick up the count, but they are still in shocked silence as Axel slaps the mat. 1! CABOOSE YES! 2! CABOOSE YES! 3! *DING DING DING* CABOOSE (in full Bobby Heenan at the '92 Rumble mode) YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! As Oh Hell Yeah blasts over the PA, Axel retrieves the title belt and hands it to the new champion, who presses it to his chest and drops to his knees as Michael Buffer makes it official. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, and NUUUU OAOAST World Heavyweight CHAMPION, Peeeetteerr KNIGHT! The crowd response is muted, at best, though some cheer loudly. Most of the crowd continues to stare in shock as paramedics rush down to the ring, as its very obvious to well, everyone, that Stephen Joseph is very badly injured. CABOOSE YEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!! COLE But WHY? Why would Knight choose to win like this? Why would Axel interfere like this? CABOOSE Axel decided to use his new powers the best way he can and finally get the belt off that undeserving wanker. Peter Knight was the lucky man to benefit from it. COACH Well, this is great! I don't have to praise Stephen Joseph's bullshit anymore! COLE What's that supposed to mean? COACH Nothing. Knight looks into the title belt and smiles back at his reflection, his three year journey finally ended with his dream coming true. Axel slaps him on the shoulder, smiling broadly himself as he looks over at the fallen former champion, lip readers see the words "Tough luck, mate" escape his lips as he turns back and raises the arm of the new champion. COLE I had a feeling that we were going to kick off 2006 with a bang tonight, but it seems we also kicked off a new era in the OAOAST with Axel becoming the new HeldDOWN General Manager and Peter Knight winning the World Title. We certainly should have more on both these developments on our regular Thursday time, so until then, for Caboose and Coach, I'm Michael Cole. Happy New Year, everyone! Knight hits the turnbuckles and raises the belt in the air to a blinding wave of flashbulbs as EMTs load both Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph on stretchers and wheel them out of the arena. Knight doesn't notice it because he is firmly on Cloud Nine at this point, a dream realized. Peter Knight. New OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. (FADE OUT)

COLE Welcome back to the second hour of the OAOAST New Years Spectacular ladies and gentlemen. We are LIVE, and what action we’ve seen so far tonight guys, and that's just at the awards show! COACH Absolutely Cole, the Angle Awards were great, but now it's our turn to ring in the New Year with two great matches. COLE But out of everything we bring to you tonight, this match has the biggest implications on all those who grace an OAOAST ring. The direction of our very company could be changed with the result of the next bout. CABOOSE This is one of the only times that the General Managers position has been on the line in a wrestling match, and I can’t imagine what HeldDown would be like next week if the challenger comes out on top. COLE Calvin Szechstein is stepping back into the ring next, and putting his General Manager’s position on the line against The OAOAST’s Most Dangerous Man, former two-time champion Axel. COACH High stakes is an understatement. The winner of this match controls our number one rated Television show, controls the bookings, everything. The General Manager is the main authority in the locker room. Calvin has done a great job as General Manager so far, bringing us Pay Per View spectaculars like November Reign and most recently Climax. Now his position, and his very livelihood, is under fire. COLE And under fire from one of the most lethal athletes that has ever stepped into a ring. He’s only had one bout since coming back, a win over the three hundred and fifty pound monster Jingus, a match that he won by referee stoppage. It was in fact the first stoppage in OAOAST history, a sign that Mixed Martial Arts has indeed invaded our waters, in the form of Axel. CABOOSE Calvin has to be careful here. He’s a catch-as-catch-can wrestler, he’s very quick, very agile, and he needs to hit and run tonight. Axel’s got a huge height and weight advantage over him. A good four inches and an even better forty pounds. Axel’s a heavyweight, Calvin’s a light heavyweight. Cal’s ability to evade Axel and frustrate him will decide the outcome of this one. COLE Let’s send it down to ringside where Michael Buffer is standing by. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is scheduled for one fall with no time limit. The winner of this bout will become the General Manager of HEEEEEELLLLDDD DDDOOOOOOOWWWWN!!! “Three-Two-One, I’m the Bomb!” BOOM! Electric Six’s “I’m the Bomb” hits over the loudspeakers, which is greeted by cheers from the patrons. Calvin Szechstein appears at the top of the New Year’s Spectacular ramp, and makes his way to ringside. He’s decked out in his old attire, but instead of the usual singlet, the t-shirt he wears over the top has a simple message: “Who’s The Boss? I’m The Boss, Baby.” COLE Calvin looks as ready as he could be on a weeks notice guys. He’s been taking a break from active competition for a while now, although he’s always in shape. CABOOSE Yeah but can you be ready to take the in ring punishment that Calvin is going to take in this contest, in a week? COACH You have to remember though Caboose, Axel’s only had one match in the last few months as well. Both of these guys have quite a bit of ring rust, so I don’t think there’s any clear advantage to either man in that category. Axel looked good against Jingus, but he was able to hit the big man with some powerful moves, and close in for the stoppage, but Cal is a different animal. This guy held the OAOAST Championship for over six months, and he’s a member of the Fall of Haim. The GM slaps a couple hands on his way down to the squared circle, before climbing up the steps and entering the ring. His ‘thinker’ pose on the turnbuckles garners more cheers from the sold-out crowd. BUFFER Introducing first, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, weighing in tonight at two hundred thirteen pounds, he is a former OAOAST Champion and the CURRENT General Manager of HeldDown….. CAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLVVVVIIINNN SSSZZZEEEEEECCCHHHHSSSTTEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Calvin jumps off the ropes and stretches in the corner, as Electric Six dies down, and the crowd get louder, as the Angle Award winner for Best Entrance 2005 is about to grace us with his presence. Cue: I’m on a High Millionaire’s first single hits, the drum beat filling the arena, with those against the entrance way even banging the guardrail to the beat of the drums. The guitar comes into it, and Axel appears, decked in denim fighting shorts, and a camouflage green TapouT hooded jacket. He slaps a couple hands as the music builds, before stopping at the top of the ramp, pointing left, pointing right, pointing with both hands at the ring, and throwing his hood off, and striking the Crucifix Pose… BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! Which, of course, lets off a massive pyro blast. Axel walks down to the ring, slapping every hand in front of him. He enters the ring and points at Calvin, before ascending the turnbuckles and greeting the crowd with another crucifix pose. Michael Buffer is handed his announcing notes by an official, and Axel, strangely, asks for his music to be cut. COLE What’s this? BUFFER (taking a deep breath) And his opponent, standing six feet three inches tall and weighing in tonight at two hundred sixty eight pounds. He is a submission fighter with the deadliest knees and ground strikes you are ever likely to see. He has a professional wrestling record of twenty-five and twelve, and a mixed martial arts record of five and oh. Fighting out of Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, using Mixed Martial Arts rules he is an eighteen time OAOAST Heavyweight Champion OF THE WOOOOORRRRRRLLLLDDDD… THIS IS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! The crowd roar in approval, with a lot of people laughing at the outlandish introduction. Axel, a smirk on his face, removes his jacket, and the bell rings. COACH Well, it must be in his contract guys… CABOOSE Cocky bastard. I like it. COLE Axel having a little fun to begin with, you’ve gotta wonder if that puts Calvin off of his game. The strategies will be revealed in due time. Both men step toward the other, arms up, ready for a lockup. Pacing around the ring, they come closer, almost within touching distance, and Axel surprises Calvin by springing a hard leg kick to Cal’s quad, startling the GM. COLE Nice leg kick by Axel, he’s not playing by the normal rules tonight, which is why he’ll be so hard to stop. Calvin shakes his leg, shaking the sting out, and puts his arms up for a tieup again. Axel does the same, and they both come forward, ready. They lunge, but Calvin goes lower and ducks behind Axel, evading the tieup. Axel turns around, and eats two quick right hands to the face, and a boot to the stomach. Calvin follows this up by charging the MMA fighter, and pushing him back into the corner, his shoulder imbedded into Axel’s stomach. COACH Very very nice combo by Calvin, he’s the one that fooled Axel that time and now he’s got Axel in the corner. SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Two tough chops to the exposed chest of Axel, and then another right hand by Calvin, who is taking advantage. Axel pushes Calvin back, but the GM, like a pitbull, stays on Axel, charging him in the corner and jumping on the first turnbuckle, before firing off six right hands to the temple of the fighter. He is forced to stop the barrage of blows when the referee’s count reaches four, as he has Axel trapped in the corner, and therefore in the ropes. CABOOSE Calvin wants to wear Axel down quickly so he can keep bringing the punishment. Cal knows that Axel loves giving punishment, but how much can he take? Cal brings Axel out of the corner and hooks in a front face lock, showing he still has a lot of strength by taking the former champion over with a vertical suplex. The GM picks his foe up by the hair following the suplex, and pushes him back into the corner once again, this time driving his shoulder into Axel’s abdomen once, twice, three times. The MMA expert gasps for air as Calvin goes to the knee of his foe, stomping down on Axel’s kneecap and causing it to give way. Axel goes down to one leg, and pulls himself along the ropes just so he can get out of the corner. Calvin hits Axel with a right hand while he’s down, momentarily stunning him, and allowing Calvin to measure, and connect with a vicious dropkick to the side of the head with such velocity that Axel goes through the ropes and to the outside! “UWAAAHH!” COLE Calvin has taken this fight to the outside; Axel has taken a tremendous amount of punishment in the early stages of this match! COACH He’s on dream street right now Michael, I don’t think he expected Calvin to be this attacking. CABOOSE I don’t think anybody expected Calvin to be this attacking! This is hard-hitting guys, Calvin is putting it all on the line! COLE Wanna throw another cliché out there Brit boy? CABOOSE You’ve gotta be in it to win it! Axel rolls to his stomach on the outside, getting to his hands and knees, obviously shaken by the fall. He is to be shaken even further, however, as he is sent back down face first into the mat by Calvin Szechstein, who comes off the ring apron with a hard elbow to his opponents back! Calvin shows his mean streak after keeping Axel down on the ground, stomping away at his back, and further wearing down the former champion. CALVIN You want my job you son of a bitch? *SMACK* CALVIN Let’s see how good you are now, UFC boy! *SMACK* The crowd groan as the smack of fist against skull is heard throughout the arena, with the current General Manager landing unprotected shots to the back of Axel’s head. Axel tries in vain to cover up, but Calvin has Axel on his stomach, with no way to protect himself from the shots. The referee’s count is at seven now, and Calvin rolls back into the ring to break it, before rolling straight back out again. Axel is struggling to his feet now, with Calvin stalking him at every movement. COLE Calvin has taken full control of this matchup. He’s just relentless! Calvin grabs Axel by the hair and forces the former champion to his feet. Axel stands up, but is rocked by another hard right hand by the General Manager. Calvin throws Axel into the guardrail, but he doesn’t go down, his arms and head drape over the steel rail. Calvin uses this to his advantage, pushing down on the back of Axel’s head and crushing his windpipe in the steel! The referee is at eight, so Calvin rolls back into the ring once again and rolls out, with the referee warning him that he’ll be counted out. CALVIN Just try it! Try to count me out and I’ll fire your ass you sorry bastard! COLE Wow, the boss has spoken. Calvin brings Axel over to the apron and forces his head down against the steel steps. Axel manages to get his hands up to partially block the blow, but his skull still bounces off of the steel. Calvin rolls his opponent back into the ring and immediately covers him for the pinfall… ONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!NO! Axel kicks out of the lateral press, as Calvin failed to hook his legs. COLE Calvin with a rookie mistake there, his ring rust is showing, he gave Axel the chance to kick out of that pinfall, rather than forcing his shoulder off of the mat. CABOOSE And you’d have to think that the longer this match goes, advantage Axel. Calvin, while he’s kept in shape, hasn’t trained for twenty, thirty minutes. Axel, through his Mixed Martial Arts training, plus his wrestling training, has trained to go on for a longer period of time. He’s lean; he’s in great cardio shape, so Calvin is trying to take that advantage away from him. Calvin picks Axel up once again and backs him into the ropes, throwing his opponents arms behind him and over the ropes to momentarily show his chest. SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” A stiff chop echoes throughout the arena, and Axel’s hands instinctively go to his chest, protecting it from the barrage of chops that could have easily followed that last one. Calvin tries to Irish Whip Axel to the other side of the ring, but Irish Whips are unrealistic, and therefore have no place in this match. Axel gets OFFENSIVE~! With a boot to the stomach, but he can’t follow it up. Calvin comes back with a right hand and a knee to the midsection, before bringing Axel to the centre of the ring. He takes Axel down with a leg sweep, and then comes off of the ropes, hitting a splash for the cover, this time hooking the outside leg. ONE!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NO!!!! Axel kicks with the inside leg and gets a shoulder off of the canvas. Calvin mounts Axel and starts teeing off with shots to the temple, Axel tries to cover up, but instead manages to wrap his legs around Calvin’s head! COLE He might be going for a triangle choke! This is a very successful move in Mixed Martial Arts for the man on the ground! COACH Calvin had better be careful, one wrong move and he could get choked out! Calvin, sensing danger, backs out of the mount, getting to his feet, and taking a second to gather his thoughts. This proves to be foolish, however, as it gives Axel time to get back to a state where he can fight. CABOOSE I know Calvin may have needed a breather, but Axel is getting time to recuperate too, and that’s exactly what Cal doesn’t want. Calvin decides that its time to continue the punishment, walking back over to Axel and connecting with another stiff boot to the back of his head. Calvin brings Axel to his feet once again, and tries a right hand… but Axel blocks it, and hits a forearm of his own! And another forearm! A third! A fourth! Calvin, rocked, staggers backward, and charges at Axel… …but Axel ducks, and sends Cal over with a big Overhead Belly to Belly! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!” COLE Axel has his second wind! What an overhead suplex, sending Calvin halfway across the ring! Calvin is up quickly, due to reflexes more than anything, and he charges at Axel again. The MMA fighter is up to the task again, catching Calvin with a deep armdrag, into an armbar. Cal is up, but Axel still has hold of his arm. Axel with a wrench of Calvin’s arm, snapmare by Axel still holding onto the arm, Axel takes a step back, fakes a kick to the back of the head of Calvin, Cal ducks, Axel steps over, and knocks Calvin into oblivion with a stiff back kick! COACH He doesn’t miss twice! Cover by Axel! ONEEEEEE!!!! TWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!NO! Calvin kicks out, despite being momentarily stunned. COLE Vicious shot by Axel, good combination with the snapmare. He’s on the attack now guys, this can’t be good for our General Manager. CABOOSE Calvin has shown that he can take the fight to Axel, now he has to show one of his best traits – resiliency. Calvin has to take this punishment and come back fighting. Axel brings Cal to his feet… SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SLAP! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SLAP!SLAP!SLAP!SMACK!SLAP!SMACK! “UWAAAAAHH!” Two hard chops follow, and then Axel opens up. Forearms, chops, open handed shots, he just ROCKS Calvin with shot after shot, blow after blow. Cal, in another world, staggers around the ring, trying to get away, but he makes a fatal mistake, he turns his back to Axel. Axel immediately applies a waist lock, and takes Cal over with a German! COLE German Suplex! COACH The bridge! ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Cal manages to get out of the pinning predicament. CABOOSE Axel’s style has changed to become very much like two American former world champions, former ECW World Champion Taz, and former Ring of Honor World Champion Samoa Joe. He is now cool, calm and collected outside the ring, while being deadly inside the squared circle, adopting the ‘strong style’ that many are finding so successful. COLE You can see that Mixed Martial Arts influence coming through, as well as the influences of those two you mentioned. Axel seems more sure of himself nowadays, he knows he can get it done in the ring now, there’s no disputing he can fight a good fight. He’s relaxing, which may be a mistake at times, but it allows him to be more analytical, smarter. Axel brings Calvin to his feet once again, backing him up into the corner, and beginning his attack once again. This time he winds Calvin with two tough knees to the abdomen, following those up with a couple of stiff forearms, enticing another ‘uwah’ from the crowd, as they can hear bone connect with bone, and fear that Calvin’s jaw can’t take much more of the punishment. Calvin stays in the corner, trying to regain his bearings, while Axel rears back eight or nine paces. Axel charges… ..and buries a jumping knee into the face of Calvin! Calvin goes down, slumping into the ropes, Axel rears back again, and this time buries a low knee into the face of Cal, sandwiching it between the knee and the lower turnbuckle pad! “UWWWWAHHHH!” Axel drags Calvin out of the corner, the General Manager seemingly out! ONNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!! TTTTWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOOOOO!! Calvin gets a shoulder up at two and a half! COLE Have we ever seen Axel dish out such punishment? He’s paying Calvin back for the initial attack ten-fold guys! CABOOSE Yeah Cole, but Calvin is staying strong, he’s keeping in this match. He’s hoping Axel gets frustrated and tries something silly soon. Axel on the attack again, landing an elbow drop to the sternum of Calvin Szechstein. The MMA star picks Calvin up by his hair, much like Cal did to him earlier. Axel locks him in a clinch, and starts landing knees to his midsection, vicious knee after vicious knee, wearing down Calvin! COLE Hard knees time after time by Axel, you have to wonder how much of this Calvin can take! It appears the answer to that is not much more, as Calvin drops to the canvas like a sack of shit, causing Axel to step back for a moment, not expecting him to go down. Axel tries to pick Cal up, but no luck, as he seems to be drained. Axel tries again, and this time Cal’s plan is revealed, as he connects with a thumb to the eye, momentarily blinding Axel, and sending him staggering backwards! COACH Calvin doing a little lying and cheating! CABOOSE And, like when Eddie did it, it worked like a charm. Calvin regains his bearings and walks over to Axel, stomping on his foot to add insult to injury. Axel clutches at his foot, and a few laughs escape the crowd, who think this is comedy, but the next act assures them that it is not comedy. Calvin boots Axel in the stomach, hooks his head, and PLANTS him with a DDT with so much force that Axel does a somersault and lands on his back! COACH My god, what a DDT! CABOOSE But can he follow it up? Calvin, still feeling the effects of the vicious attack he was subjected to only a few moments ago, falls to one knee and clutches his head and neck, the two body parts that experiences the most damage. Finally, he has enough sense to go for the cover, but once again fails to hook the legs… ONNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOONO!!! Axel kicks out due to his legs being free, but not until after two and a half. Calvin follows the DDT up with some shots to the head of Axel, before picking him up and taking him down with a back suplex. Landing on the back of his head, Axel is momentarily stunned, and even more so when Calvin grabs both his legs and floats over into a pinning predicament!! OOOONNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!! TTTTWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!! Axel gets a shoulder off of the canvas, despite the very tough pin by General Manager Calvin Szechstein. COLE Very nice float over, Calvin had Axel worried for a moment there. COACH Absolutely, see, I told you that if Calvin was resilient that he’d come back! CABOOSE That was me, you bald idiot. COACH Bald by choice. CABOOSE Either way, you look like a tool. COACH :cries: The referee checks on both men, who are gassing at this point, due to the beatings that they have both taken so far. But with such high stakes in this match, both men knew that they would have to win purely on adrenaline. It’s just a matter of when that adrenaline kicks in. Calvin sits Axel up and applies the good old sleeper, taking advantage of his weakened state, and the energy he used to kick out of the two pinfalls. COLE Calvin really wrenching in that sleeper, cutting off most of the air to Axel’s brain. Axel is fading! Indeed he is fading, and it is clear, as the arm that was once trying to break free from the sleeper is now slowly dropping down Axel’s side, showing less and less signs of life. Calvin asks the referee to check on the state of his opponent, hoping Axel is totally knocked out due to the lack of air. The referee raises Axel’s arm once… ..it DROPS! The crowd groan, as if they can see what’s coming. Then, something happens. Axel suddenly gets a rush. No elbows, no shaking, just a rush. He somehow gets to his feet, and pushes Calvin away. Like a raging bull Axel goes after his opponent, backing Calvin into the corner, and burying his shoulder into the GM’s midsection like was done to him earlier. Twice now. Three times. Calvin, short of breath, gasps, and tries to get out of the corner. Axel connects with a hard forearm, and lifts Cal up so that the GM is sitting on the top rope. Axel joins Cal on the turnbuckles, and reveals his intentions, trying to hook Calvin in a front face lock. He does so, and grabs the tights of the GM with the other hand, to try and take him over for a superplex. COLE Dangerous for both men up there! Axel tries once, but Calvin holds on. He punches Cal for good measure, tries again, same result. He tries a third time, but Calvin somehow uses Axel’s momentum against him, grabbing his tights and sending him crashing down to the mat face first in a front suplex. Axel clutches at his sternum after the collision with the mat, and goes about getting back up to his feet. COACH Great reversal by Calvin, who knows what he’s going for now. Calvin shifts his legs and shakes the cobwebs out, before standing up, and a ascending to the top rope. Axel, on his feet now, turns around to see this, and runs up the turnbuckles to meet his foe! With both men on the top it’s a fight to see who can pull off what, with Calvin looking to force Axel down to the mat perhaps with an STO, and Axel trying something, but we aren’t sure what yet. Calvin lands a shot to the head of Axel, Axel lands an elbow back, Calvin tries a shot, but it gives Axel an opening to duck, hook Calvin over the shoulder and around the waist… …TOP ROPE T-BONE SUUUUPPPLLLEEEEXXXX!!!!! “UUUUWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!” COLE OH MY GOD! COACH HOLY CRAP! The referee, hands on his head in shock, sees both men down on the mat, a big distance from each other, as Axel threw Calvin halfway across the ring with the T-Bone. He checks both men, who don’t seem to be moving, and begins the dreaded ten count! COLE These guys have to answer a ten count, but I’ll be damned if they can after that move! COACH That was insane. A top rope T-Bone suplex, Calvin could have landed squarely on his head, but fortunately his momentum meant he landed on his back. ONE! TWWWWWWOOOOOO!!!! TTTTHHHHRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!!! FOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRRR!!!!! Neither man is moving, and the referee really doesn’t want to be fired for counting his boss out, so he counts a little slower… FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! SIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! SSSSSEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!! EEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTTT!!! Axel starts to stir… Calvin does the same… NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! Axel up to one knee, Calvin using the ropes to help himself up… TEEEEEE-NO! Axel is up! Calvin joins him! Both men are very much worse for ware after that T-Bone, but both men are up! Axel charges at Calvin, but he is stopped by a boot to the midsection! Right hand by Cal knocks Axel backward! Forearm by Axel rocks Calvin’s boat! Right by Calvin again! Forearm by Axel again! Calvin goes for a clothesline, Axel ducks, Calvin charges… …INTO A SPIIIINNNNEEEEBUUSSSSTTAAAHHHHH~!~! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!” Axel, fired up now, goes for a cover… ONEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! THR-NO!!!!!! Calvin gets a shoulder up before the referee can count three. COLE Big Spinebuster by Axel. He may have a lot of influence from Mixed Martial Arts, but he can still throw that Spinebuster with the best of them! Axel asks the referee about the count, thinking that it should have been one more than it was. He soon goes back to the task at hand, however, grabbing Calvin once again, and bringing the General Manager to his feet. Holding Calvin up by the hair, Axel connects with a tough right forearm, then a left, then a right, and starts laying in the forearms thick and fast! COACH Calvin is being rocked with every shot, and now Axel is moving in for the kill! Axel grabs Calvin’s head again and catches the GM in a front face lock, hooking the tights… COLE We saw this against Jingus, Axel is going to try that Brainbuster! COACH Not to mention the knee drop! Axel lifts Calvin high in the air, looking for the brainbuster… but Calvin struggles free, and slips down Axel’s back, taking a few steps away from his adversary! Axel turns around… …SUPERKICK KNOCKS HIM THE FUCK DOWN! COLE WHAT A KNOCKOUT SHOT! CABOOSE He’s out. CALVIN FALLS ON TOP OF AXEL FOR THE COVER! ONEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! COLE How…how in the HELL did Axel kick out of that? CABOOSE Gotta be instinct. That’s the only explanation. Calvin is in SHOCK that Axel kicked out of the superkick, as is everyone else in the arena, who felt for sure that Axel was knocked out by the shot. The General Manager shows his frustrations now, slapping the mat, and arguing with the referee about the speed of the count. Standing up, Calvin makes a cutting motion with his arms, signalling that he is going for the end. Axel gets up, and is immediately placed in a standing headscissors! COLE The Clash! Calvin is going for the Clash! Calvin lifts Axel up for the Clash… but Axel uses the momentum to change it to a hurricanrana position, taking advantage of Calvin’s shock, and landing a stiff forearm to the side of his head! Calvin tries to get Axel down for the Clash, but Axel slips behind the GM! Reverse Firemans Carry Pickup by Axel, he steadies… …PSYCHO DRIVER AXEL SLAM! CALVIN LANDS ON HIS HEAD! COLE OH MY GOD! THAT WAS SICK! ONEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!” COLE HE’S DONE IT! *DING DING DING!!!* COACH The OAOAST is about to change! A new era is about to arrive! CABOOSE We’ve got a new boss, guys! COLE What a move that was! A sit out Axel Slam! We’ve never seen that before! That was insane! Axel’s arm is raised by the referee as he recuperates in the corner, “I’m on a High” beginning in the background. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner, and… NEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW GENERAL MANAGER OF HEEEELLLDDD DDOOOOWWWWNNN… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXELLLLLLLLLLLL~!~!~! The crowd roars in appreciation, not because they wanted Calvin to lose, but more because they wanted Axel to win. The referee raises his hand once again, and now standing, Axel motions to ringside for a microphone, and then motions for his music to be cut. COLE The new GM, wanting the floor, which is only fair. AXEL WOW! Boys and girls, I told you I’d be the new boss, and here I am. Now, I know that Charleston, South Carolina is excited… “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHTHATSWHEREWELIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” AXEL …so I’ve got a little surprise for everyone out there. You see, I’m in charge now, and that means that not only do I get the best damn office in the world, but I get to give you, the fans, what you want! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” AXEL Now, Calvin, you were great, don’t get me wrong. You did a stand up job as General Manager. But with my first announcement as GM, I’m going to completely eclipse everything you did. You see boys and girls, after HeldDown Thursday night, I jumped on the phone, and I called a little town on the West Coast. And there was a guy on the other side of that phone that greeted my call as he always does, with a “hello”, and a “how the fuck you doin’ man?” Well, we chatted for a bit, and when I finished that call to Las Vegas, Navada… “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!” COLE Oh don’t tell me! AXEL Oh yes, I’m serious. When I finished that call, it was all set. He’s coming back boys and girls….. RAGDOLL. Is coming BACK! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” TRIPLE C AXEL That was my reaction too. So there you have it, a little taste of what’s going to be happening in this company while I’m the boss. And you’d better believe I’ll be watching our Main Event tonight very, very closely. “I’M ON A HIGH!” COLE RAGDOLL IS COMING BACK! AXEL HAS PULLED OFF THE MOTHER OF ALL COUPS! COACH Because of their match last year, Axel was the only guy that could have brought Ragdoll back! But he did it! He did it for the fans! Ragdoll is coming back to the OAOAST! What a start to the Axel regime! CABOOSE I must say guys; that was a hell of an announcement. I still don’t believe it. But the question is, will we see Axel out here again tonight? He already interfered at Climax, and he’s the boss now, so he can do whatever he damn well pleases. This is going to be a wild Main Event. COLE What a night it has been so far! The OAOAST Championship is on the line, NEXT!

SCHIAVONE Rolling right along, our next award is for Female Wrestler Of The Year. 2005 was the year of the Women's Division, which this year returned and became better than ever. Now more than ever, women in the OAOAST have a big place on the shows and women's wrestling is at it's allround peak in the company's history. So, this year's award is naturally hotly contested. Here to announce the winner, a female who knows all about the Women's Title... she is CANDIE!! The doting mum-to-be makes her way out which gets rapturous applause from The Usual Suspects, amongst others. CANDIE Thank you. Myself and of course, my baby to be, are here to announce the nominations for Female Wrestler Of The Year. And they are... -FEMALE WRESTLER OF THE YEAR- Alix Maria Spezia: She's mad! Mad I tells ya! But she's also a former World Tag Team Champion and proved herself well in singles action at various times in the year as well. Ashley Street: The current Women's Champion, who has led the division by example through most of the latter half of the year. Brodie Lewis: Mean, moody and masochistic. Brodie has been the most dominating women in the Women's Division and when not putting other women on the injury list, she's been hunting down the Women's World Title. Crystal: The former World Champion disappeared for most of the year, but it turns out she was around all along as The Benefactor, making the lives and careers of Ashley Street and Jenny Adams hell from behind the scenes. Also competed strongly against male opponents. Jenny Adams: Won the Women's Title in the tournament to crown the new champion, which came with the division's revamp. Injury meant she missed considerable amounts of action afterwards though. Krista Isadora Duncan: The other member of Chicks Over Dicks (the one that isn't quite so mentally unstable), she's the defacto leader of the team as did I mention she's virtually UNBEATABLE? CANDIE Huh. If I wasn't pregnant, I could whip all thei...AND THE WINNER!! *opens envelope and groans* Well, at least she isn't here. Some consolation. ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! Leon Rodez leaps for joy, for his girlfriend's latest award. CANDIE Seeing as she's not here, I guess I'll just take the award and make sure she gets it... maybe..... Drawing a raucous cheer from the audience, Alix Spezia charges on stage! She happily slides in front of the podium, nearly toppling it over in the process. Somehow she forgot to swipe the award from Candie. ALIX (panting) Uh, yeah. Wow. Oh my god, sorry I'm late. Hi, Lee-Lee! Um, yeah. Wow. Uh, I didn't really expect to win this award. Krista kept saying she was a lock, because of of her whole “unbeatable” gimmick. So she said she was gonna no show and do a book signing and really stick it to the man. That wouldn't be the first time she's stuck something in a man, but you can ask Ned about that. Anyway, she thought she'd prove to them how unimportant and silly these awards are by winning one and still skipping. But she didn't even win! I did! I bet she feels as dumb as Candie looks! Actually the only reason I even came was because I left my Joni Mitchell CD in Lee-Lee's car and I really need to pick it up because I wanna hear Big Yellow Taxi. Do you have it, sugar plum? (Leon, still beaming with pride, nods) ALIX Muchos gracias, baby doll. Well, thank ya for the award. Uh..it's all kind of shocking. It's a good kind of shocking, I swear. I don't exactly know what I did to deserve this award, besides having a nicer ass then the other nominees, but if I can pawn it off to fuel my rubber cement habit then rock awwwwwwn, OAOAST! Yeah! Alix departs to chase after Candie, who still as her award, as we go back to Ton' and 'Boose. CABOOSE Ugh. Who'd have known that whack-job was so popular? SCHIAVONE Well, we come now to our final two awards in this section, the award for Stable Of The Year and of course the big one, Wrestler Of The Year 2005. And who better to present this award than our current OAOAST General Manager. Once a member of successful stables himself of course... Mr CALVIN SZECHSTEIN!! Cal, dressed to impress of course, comes out to a standing ovation from those suck-ups wrestlers who all want title shots and stuff. CALVIN Thanks guys. Nice to see that SOME of you have some respect... Calvin glances in Axel's direction briefly. CALVIN Alright, let's get things rolling. Like Tony said, I know stables. And it makes sense for me to be awarding the award for 2005 Stable Of The Year. Let's take a look at the nominations. -STABLE OF THE YEAR- C.S.I: Sure, it's a pretty dumb name seeing as they're not actually wrestling detectives, but C.S.I were an extremely effective force through 2005, especially when they signed up Brock Ausstin and later combined with Team Heyross to form S.H.I, briefly. The Lightning Crew: Tha Puerto Rican's squadron stuck together behind PRL as ever, helping him out in his 24/7 Title endeavours on numerous occassions. The Original Elite: Before their very public and very personal split, The Original Elite were riding high over the OAOAST. Black T and Zack had the Tag Team Titles for a short while. Then, it all fell apart. And, how! The Upstarts: They haven't been all that successful in what they wanted to achieve yet, but The Upstarts have made a big impact in the OAOAST regardless CALVIN Well, the winner is...or, I suppose that should be are... C.S.I!! Unfortunately, they've broken up, so Jay Richards, Jumbo and Brock Ausstin simply glare at Chris Stevens, none wanting to step up and accept the award. Shrugging, Calvin simply hands it off and puts another award on the podium. CALVIN And, with that, we come to the big award of the evening. The one that everyone wants. 2005, Wrestler Of The Year. This year has been one of many changes. Departures and returns. Changes at the top. Changes at the bottom. But all in all, it's been another great year in the ring. And therefore, we have a very strong field for this year's award. All have seen gold this year, had memorable matches and been involved in some of the big feuds and conflicts of the year. Let's take a look at the nominations. -MALE WRESTLER OF THE YEAR- Alfdogg: 2 Time Heartland Champion, who since his return was supremely consistant. Had gripping battles with the members of C.S.I and others and remains in the running for the World Title as a former Champion. Axel: Won the Lethal Rumble and then went on to capture the World Title at AngleMania. Went away during the year after losing the title to compete in MMA orientated endeavours, before making a welcome return just recently. Drek Stone: Started the year as the World Champion and had great battles over the title before dropping it at AngleMania. Continued to have a prominant role until he left the company towards the middle of the year. Hoff: Another man to capture the World Title, winning at AngleSlam after surviving BattleBowl. Hoff was always one of the most popular wrestlers around, whether battling Chris Stevens or being WACKY~! with Axel. Abandoned the title publicly late in the year and left the company. Leon Rodez: Consistant through the year, without ever really reaching great heights. The X-Division Champion had a couple of World Title matches, but his year was dominated by a feud with Christian Wright and a Tag Team Title reign. Zack Malibu: The other nominee to actually be around all year. No World Title reign for The Franchise, but his role in the Originals/Upstarts battles was pivotal, as were his earlier conflicts with Black T and pretty much every female in the company besides Candie. Now one half of the Tag Champions. CALVIN Six great superstars. But only one can win and that man is... *DRUMROLL* CALVIN That was hardly needed. Oh well, the winner is... a surprise victory, but deserved nonetheless... the 2005 Wrestler Of The Year is ALFDOGG!!! Alfdogg receives a standing ovation from most of the audience, though again, the Upstarts don't much care that there was only one of them nominated. Alf takes the award and steps up to the podium. ALFDOGG I think I said what I wanted to earlier, but honestly, I'd like to thank the voters that gave me this award. There was some great competition in this category, so this is an honor. But I'm not done. Like I said, you haven't seen the best of me yet. 2006 will be MY year! Thank you very much. *Applause* as Alf steps down. SCHIAVONE That concludes the on-screen awards and we give our congratulations to all the winners. CABOOSE Almost all. SCHIAVONE But, we still have awards to present...to those behind what see on your TV screens, the writers. Without whom, none of us would be able to do what we do today. We have six awards and we kick off with the award for the Most Undervalued Writer. Here are your nominations! -MOST UNDERVALUED WRITER- Alfdogg: It's Alf! Controls Alfdogg, Reject and TK, Team Heyross and for a while C.S.I Ed Wood Caulfield: Consistant writer, who never really gets the recognition he deserves. Even if his stuff usually is late. Controls Tha Puerto Rican and The Lightning Crew. KingPK: Returned recently and had the X-Division Title for a while, before embarking on some character enhancement. Controls Peter Knight. LPYC: Formerly The Blurricane, currently X-Division Champion. Controls The Parka. Mystery Eskimo: A veteran writer who doesn't always get his just recognition. Wrote the World Without End main event. Controls Dan Black. Tony149: The writer behind the Tag Team Division, which continues to play a big part in the OAOAST. Controls...pretty much the entire Tag Team Division and Tony Brannigan. CABOOSE Alright. The award for most undervalued writer goes to... TONY149! *APPLAUSE* Tony comes out and I'll be honest, I don't know what the guy looks like, so I won't try and describe him. He's probably wearing a tux though, because it's a special occassion. Then again, maybe he's wearing nothing at all. After all, it's the internet, who are we to know? TONY This is a surprised. I'd like to start off by thanking Mystery Eskimo, Patty O'Green and Stephen Joseph for all their help and support the past couple of years. In my eyes Eski and Alfdogg are the two most undervalued writers here, although Alf is quickly gaining the respect he deserves for all he's done in 2005. The first thing that popped into my head when I heard my name called was you guys must be smoking some heavy stuff because I didn't expect to win at all, let alone get any votes other from Patty and maybe Eski and Popick. I guess I'm my own worst critic. While I haven't written anything I thought was really bad, I also haven't written anything that I thought was really good outside a couple of matches and promos. A quote that stands out to me was made by KC, where he basically said my writing style is quick and to the point. That's true. I'm just a Texan who loves to do things in the fastest time possible. If it were up to me my work would fall more along the lines of people like Zack, KC, Hoff and NYU. One could say they're our verison of the 4 Horsemen, an elite writing force. But as the old saying goes -- just be yourself. You can say I'm now comfortable in my OAOAST skin. No longer do I feel the need to try and write at the level of the aforementioned. I embrace my writing style. I'm proud of my work. And I'm proud of the OAOAST. Little did I know back in 2002 that the OAOAST would grow into what it is today. I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's a testament to the men and woman who take time out of the lives to write fictional wrestling shows, a hobby I never really understood until I became apart of it myself. I accept this award with great pride and humility. This award is very much appreciated. That is until Patty and I win Best Motion Picture at the Oscars...or maybe we'll just settle for a Razzie. Thank you very much. FREE ANGLESAULT! Tony takes his well deserved award and takes his leave. SCHIAVONE A positive and well deserved win...where as now, we go to something well deserved but maybe not so positive. Although, the nominees seem oddly happy with their standings. Well, whatever. This is The Biggest Bastard Of An Idiot Award and we have our nominations. -BIGGEST BASTARD OF AN IDIOT AWARD- Failed Mascot: LOLHEKILLEDTEHPIT1~!1!!~1! Something happened with Leena. He didn't like PRL. And he quit with the X-Division Title, screwing that up temporarily before KingPK thankfully rescued it. Hoff: As if his first OAOAST World Title reign didn't go smoothly, Hoff spent the year challenging for the title and eventually won it at AngleSlam...before abruptly quitting, as Champion, 'vacated' the title and writing a nifty little 'shoot' to explain it all away. NYUntouchable: Didn't like the Originals/Upstarts storyline and his character was strangely scarse on OAOAST TV for many months while he didn't see fit to mention it. Eventually left. (Stephen Joseph Popick): Token nomination. Plus, the main event of Climax nearly went wrong. CABOOSE Okay. And the Biggest Bastard of them all is... FAILED MASCO...!! But Caboose is interrupted by Failed Mascot himself, as he runs onto the stage and sends him flying past the podium as he snatches the award away. FM takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and dons a pair of glasses. He theatrically begins to clear his throat, but as he begins to speak, he flips everybody off before running through the crowd, succeeding in clotheslining PRL off his chair on the way. Man, what a Bastard he is. CABOOSE Little bugger... SCHIAVONE Our next award is for Best Contribution To The Fed. A lot of fantastic work goes on behind the scenes that some of us just don't see. Here, we honour that. Nominations are... -BEST CONTRIBUTION TO THE FED- Alfdogg: He's been around forever, man. Makes a lot of contribution character-wise and obviously, is a valued writer. KingPK: Responsible for a lot of the shows actually getting on the board on time (mostly) and fitting all the pieces together, like a maccabre jigsaw. Papacita: The genius of a man behind the OAOAST's bitchin' graphics. Without them, an OAOAST PPV just wouldn't be an OAOAST PPV. Patty O'Green: Well, there you go. Posts great shows too. Zack Malibu: When everyone started quitting, boy howdy, did Zack work overtime to get us all back on track or what? SCHIAVONE And, the winner of this award is... ALFDOGG!! Alf simply gets his award and sits back down. SCHIAVONE Ok then. On to the next award, for the Best Match Writer. And to present this award, a man who knows nothing about 'Best Matches'... the WWE Champion, JOHN CENA! Feel the BOOS~! as John Cena comes firing out onto the stage, throwing up a little Thuganomics action for ya'll! CENA YO YO YO YO YOOOOOOOOO!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CENA Whassup Angle Awards!?! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CENA Naw, naw, we gonna kick dis off right ya'll. I WANNA HEAR ER'YBODY MAKE SOME NOOOOIIIISSSEEE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CENA *wipes away a tear* Word. Nominations... -BEST MATCH WRITER- King Cucaracha: Notable matches- Leon Rodez vs. Christian Wright NYU: Noteable matches- Drek Stone vs. AJ Flaire, Run For The Gold Pheonix Fury Legdrop: Noteable match- The Torneo Cibernetica Zack Malibu: Notable match- Zack Malibu vs. Drek Stone, TLC CENA WORD LIFE! And yo' winner is... AW, NAW NAW! Time ta throw a lil' mud down in this hizzy for ma boy NEW YORK UNTOUCHABLE!! NYU begins to stand to get his award, but Tony instead flings it at him, causing him to almost stumble into his table. SCHIAVONE Sorry, we're short on time, gotta move along. On to our next award...Promo Writer Of The Year. Promos can make or break a character, as our next guest know very well. He is "THE NATURE" BOY RIC FLAIR!! A pop goes up for 'Naitch... ...but, nothing. SCHIAVONE Uhm...it seems Ric isn't... CABOOSE Oh, great, another no-show. SCHIAVONE I'm sure he's just... *fiddles with earpiece* ...arrested? For what? ... Oh, dear. ... He did? That sounds painful. ... Both tyres? Oh, lordy. Uh...well, I guess we won't be having Ric here tonight, so you'll have to make do with the nominations. -BEST PROMO WRITER- King Cucaracha: Writer of The Love Shack, controls Leon Rodez and Christian Wright. Patty O'Green: Pioneer of Chicks Over Dicks. Also contributed towards The Sk8ter Boiz, The GPX and NRG amongst others. Tony149: Tag Team Division's head honcho. The man behind The New, New Midnight Express. Zack Malibu: Controls Zack Malibu, DUH! CABOOSE Do it. SCHIAVONE No! CABOOSE Do it. SCHIAVONE No! CABOOSE Do it. SCHIAVONE No! CABOOSE Do it. SCHIAVONE FINE! ... SCHIAVONE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ... SCHIAVONE And the winner is, PATTY O'GREEN Patty, the reincarnation of Christ, heads onto stage, as panties across the globe go moist and dicks around the around go hard. PATTY Unlike my good buddy, Tony, I fully expected to capture this award. Unlike Tony, I don't accept this award with pride or humility. I accept this the same way I'd accept death, or taxes, as an inevitable occurance. I accept this with the chilling and disturbing knowledge that for three years I have pissed away countless hours in an e-fed, and this is what I have to show for it. To all who voted for me, God says your welcome. Because no doubt, every Thursday you read HeldDOWN and you thank the good lord above that you're able to behold the captivating scriptures of the hottest angel to ever be shat out of a human womb. Myself. Patty O'Green. I should thank a few people. Zack would be one. He's a super helpful lad, is always good for advice, and is a wonderful friend despite the fact that I'm a self absorbed prick who relentlessy mocks him. Eski and KC would be two others who I need to thank, just because they're so nice. But the person I owe the most gratitude to is my main man, my boy, Tony149. In my opinion he is without question the best writer in the OAOAST. The man can write deep and engrossing characters like nobody before him. He's unrivaled. Sometimes when I work with him I sit in total awe of what he's able to do. It's probably how Aaron Neville felt when he did duets with Linda Ronstadt. Tony, I'm telling you, you need to stop wasting your talent. At some point even Linda had to leave the Stone Poneys. Anyway, thank you all for voting for me. I really do appreciate it. It truthfully means a lot to me, which is terribly humliating and depressing. Mock and belittle me at your earliest convenience. To those who didn't vote for me, don't think I won't find out who you are and where you sorry pissants live. And don't think that when I'm rich and famous that I won't be heading down to whatever fucked up, ass backwards, Midwestern hicktown you mouthbreathing wrestling geeks waste oxygen in, to beat your ass Jay and Silent Bob Strike back style. And if you thought I'm joking, then you thought yourself right into a real good ass whopping. Ya'll can't never do this like I do this. Believe and accept that shit, you bitch made motherfuckers. Patty says see-ya, and heads to his dressing room where he'll die of an overdose. CABOOSE What is a Patty O'Green anyway? SCHIAVONE I think it's from Ra3^&%$#8*** Suddenly, the screen goes snowy. Static fills the screen, but not Scotty Static...until the actual static fades and the face of the Upstarts resident spokesman is seen in the clear. STATIC Testing...testing...are we on? A voice off-camera asks "is the red light on?" STATIC Uh, yeah. Off camera, Jamie O'Hara is heard shouting "We in the red light dissstriiiict!". The camera pans over to him, and catches Christian Wright slugging him in the shoulder. WRIGHT Way to give us away, Feminem. O'HARA You steppin' to me son? Just 'cuz you use hundred dolla words don't mean your fists are money too! O'Hara goes ghetto and is about to throw down, when Bohemoth, wearing sunglasses despite the fact it appears to be about 7pm EST and pitch black outside, lowers them, intimidating the young thug to back down. STATIC Easy you two. Johnny J., you got that camera ready for this? JAX Let's do it. Jax's camera work is shaky, as he follows behind the group of Static, O'Hara, Wright and the big man, Bohemoth. All of a sudden, Static breaks into a voiceover as he leads the group through an empty parking lot and towards a tall office building that appears to be closed for the holidays. STATIC Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever tour of the OAOAST Home Offices, provided kindly to you by the Global Party Exchange on behalf of The Upstarts. Due to a scheduling conflict, no one will be in the offices during the tour, so you will not get to see those asses that have been smeared with the lip prints of The Originals for the past three years. However, you will find such important information as home addresses for your Christmas card needs... JAX Scotty...it's the 27th, dude. STATIC Do you only send out Christmas cards one year and then stop? JAX Well, no. STATIC Exactly! Get a jump on things! O'HARA Yo man, I'm chillin', and I don't mean chillin'...can we get in here and get our heat on or whizz-at? JAX Damn Jamie, Scotty and I had to play the role of slang spewin' party boys for years and I still have no idea what the hell you just said. BOHEMOTH Inside. With that one word uttered, Bo readies to use himself as a human battering ram and charge through the door, until Scotty jumps in his way. STATIC Whoooooa big man, hold up. I just happen to have the key to the problem! WRIGHT What if they've taken the proper measures for security, Scotty? STATIC Dude, would YOU be afraid of Charlie Hoss? Static reaches into his pocket and pulls out...a key! (c'mon, what did you THINK he was going to pull out?) (PS: Anyone who took that in the perverted sense needs to stop. Now. kthxbye. We now return to the segment.) A chuckle breaks out from each individual in the group at the mention of the OAOAST's former Head of Security for HeldDOWN~!. After fumbling for a minute, Static gets the door open! The Upstarts enter the home office, but the victory is short-lived, as the alarm to the building sounds as soon as the door shuts behind them! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRIGHT Jesus, that's more annoying than a COD interview! Did you get the alarm code? Static looks at Wright, puzzled. WRIGHT Aw, fu... STATIC Haha, gotcha! Of course I got the code! Wright just rolls his eyes as Static makes his way to the codekey and punches in the numerical sequence that stops the annoying alarm. STATIC All right gentlemen, we are in business! The Upstarts scatter, each of them moving into different rooms and through different hallways. Johnny Jax can't keep up with everyone, so he chooses to tag along with Wright and Bo first. WRIGHT Well looky here, Bo. Looks like we found ourselves in the home of a cowboy! JAX Look what else we found...check out this note on his desk! Wright comes over to the desk and picks up the paper, holding it up VERY close to the camera lens, then pulling back and reading it. WRIGHT Call Agnes...fax contractual options...dear Lord this company must be desperate if they're offering Agnes a contract again. Actually...let's see... Wright picks up the paper and tears it in two, then in fours, and eventually just makes it into confetti and throws it in the air. JAX It's a celebration, bitches! WRIGHT Well yessir indeedy, that's how we do it here on the ranch, like that fellow John Wayne did to them redskins back in the day! Bo snickers at Wright's attempt at Southern twang as he moves around the office of Bill Watts, who has been positioned as a figurehead of sorts for the company by the corporate office. Wright starts opening every drawer in sight, when suddenly the phone rings, and he freezes. Bo just looks down at the phone, and neither seem to know what to do. JAX Should we get that? Wright inches towards the desk, and then quickly grabs the phone before he rethinks it too much. WRIGHT OAOAST Corporate, how may I direct your call? REALLY!? Well, I'll be damned. What can I do for...no, no I'm sorry we can't. No...no seriously, we can't . There's not any space on the roster for you. No, we're still having trouble getting the dead weight off of ours...I'm sure you know what that's like! Yes but...look, no, no we're not interested. I said NO! Have you taken too many guitars to the head? Look, I don't give a damn if that's how you roll! Wright's face is red with anger, while Jax laughs, causing the camera to shake. Before Wright can snap completely, Bo takes the phone from him and just hangs it up, then nonchalantly exits the room. JAX Christian, you have fun, I'm gonna go see what the others are up to. Jax turns and goes down a hall, then stops dead in his tracks and focuses in on a large framed photograph at the end of the hallway. JAX Guys, check this out! Jamie O'Hara is the first on the scene, peeking his head out of an office door and then coming into the hall, stuffing something into his pocket. JAX What'd you get? O'HARA Pens. JAX What the hell do you need pens for? O'HARA Who said I needed them? If it's free, it's fo' me! JAX Whatever man, but look at that. Guys, check it! The sounds of the rest of the Upstarts coming together in the hall can be heard, as Jax plays with the zoom lens, closing in (and then pulling back, and then closing in again) on a framed photograph of an OAOAST legend... ...FRANK STALLONE~! STATIC Dear God, that'd give me nightmares if I had to look at that every...Jamie, what the hell are you doing? O'Hara moves towards the photo and takes it by the sides, sliding it off the wall. O'HARA I might be able to get a few Benjamins fo' this on Ebay! STATIC That's Frank Stallone, Jamie. If you ship that to someone, they'd probably hunt you down and stab you to death with a salad fork. O'HARA Fuck it, I'm takin' it. WRIGHT Fuck it. Ah, what an eloquent young man. O'HARA You know, I don't know the meaning of that word, so I'm gonna take it as disrespect. Watch yo' mouth, cousin. WRIGHT I can assure you wholeheartedly that we are of no relation. O'HARA Yeah, cuz yo' mama didn't have sex! WRIGHT What!? O'HARA You know! Wright mumbles something incoherent as the group continues through the offices. Static starts flipping through a pile of papers during the walk, making sounds of disgust as he does. JAX Whatcha got their, partner. STATIC Just a few copies of contracts. Do you know Caboose gets more money to sit on his ass on that damn sofa than we do combined? JAX No shit? And they say we don't have good reasoning to do what we do. STATIC Damn straight, Johnny Jam. Let's see, who else do we have in this pile. Tony...screw him. Sooner Bruisers...NRG...what the? Who the hell is Max Zorin? A collective "Who" emerges from the mouths of all the Upstarts. STATIC Says he was in The Boogie Knights with a guy named Kotzenjunge? Another collective "Who" comes from everyone. STATIC Eh, if we ain't heard of 'em, they're nobodies. JAX Boogie Knights? Sounds like a second rate GPX to me. STATIC HA! Get this...apparently Bohemoth's real name is Walter! Everyone freezes, and the big man turns and lowers his glasses, glaring at Static, who takes a big gulp. STATIC J..just, uh, kidding man. Everyone keeps walking, but you can hear Static nudge cameraman Jax and whisper "not really" as they continue ransacking the place. The "tour" continues, and the Upstarts come to a door that leads them into a large storage wharehouse portion of the building. Again they scatter, picking items off the shelves and surveying them, although O'Hara does it slowly as he has to make sure not to drop the framed photo of Frank Stallone. STATIC Look at this stuff...ha! Check it out Johnny, our first action figures! Kids, bug your parents to get these, they're definite collectors items! JAX Dude I hate the way they made my face. Real scan technology my ass. I look like I'm taking a shit. STATIC What'd you guys find? Jax twirls around and zooms in on Wright, who is displaying a T-shirt for the camera. WRIGHT Check it out...Northstar T-shirts! These things are still in production? JAX No, I just don't think they sold any. WRIGHT HAHA, excellent point J... "AAAAATCHOOOOO!" WRIGHT Ugh, dammit Bo, cover your mouth. I just bathed myself in your flem and mucus. Here. Wright tosses Bo the Northstar shirt, and he proceeds to blow his nose on it, then folds it up nicely and sticks it back on the shelf. BOHEMOTH Good as new. Bo and Wright continue surveying the shelves of shirts, looking to see what other treasures they find. Meanwhile a little further down, Jamie O'Hara goes klepto, shoving DVD's into his pants, and throwing a GPX logo hat on, tilting it to the side for full ghetto effect. WRIGHT I'd hate to think of how many Damaramu shirts are left. STATIC That's easy...none. WRIGHT You serious? STATIC They never bothered to produce them. One of the few smart things this friggin' company has managed. Talk about a money loser. All of a sudden, the door swings open, and the Upstarts all turn, fearful that they're about to be busted by... ...the maintenance man. Wearing a brown derby hat that covers his eyes, and a red and green striped sweater, the janitor starts tending to the floor, as if he doesn't even notice The Upstarts in the room. O'HARA Yo, uh...'scuse me? But we're kinda busy in here. Suddenly, the janitor starts laughing. First it's soft, but as the laughter grows, so does the sound level. Hahahahaha...hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! O'Hara steps back, eyes widened, as the other Upstarts just shrug when he looks to them. JANITOR HAHAHAHA...BOO! BOO! I'M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I'M COMIN' TO GETCHA! O'Hara just stands there with his eyebrows raised, pens in his pockets, DVD's in his underwear, and a Frank Stallone photo in his arms. O'HARA No you're not, you're the janitor. JANITOR I, uh... STATIC Wait, he's not just the janitor, he's Mario Logan! Look! Scotty Static pulls the hat off of the janitor to reveal the OAOAST's longtime horror freak, and leader of the Dungeon of Doom. LOGAN So, you guys were wondering what happened to me, huh? Static puts an arm around the Freddy fan, and walks with him, as Jax captures the moment. STATIC Actually Mario, I don't think anyone gives a damn. JAX HEY! Wait, Scotty...you know Logan was one of the ORIGINAL OAOASTers! STATIC HE WAS!? Oh well in that case then... Static pulls away from Logan, and delivers a back mule kick to the nuts! Logan cowers, and then Wright picks up the mop bucket and dumps it over his head, sending dirty mop water spilling all over the place before Big Bo delivers a running big boot to the bucket covered head of the freakshow superstar! The Upstarts stand over Logan, and O'Hara reaches down and picks up the hat, then puts it on his head over the GPX logo hat, as all the Upstarts just stare at him. O'HARA What!? WRIGHT Hey, check it out! Wright calls to his allies, pointing out a large trophy case, displaying historical OAOAST Title Belts! WRIGHT Are you pondering what I'm pondering? STATIC OK, you just sounded like the guy from Animaniacs, and that scares me. I think I know how we can get this open... Before even asking, Bohemoth backs up, then runs forward and drives his boot through the glass, sending shrapnel into the air and the Upstarts ducking for cover! O'HARA Yo, watch yo'self homey! STATIC DAMN IT! Bo, why did you do that? BOHEMOTH You said you knew how to get it open. STATIC Yes, maybe with THIS!? Static reaches into his pocket and reveals another key, which Bohemoth simply shrugs off. STATIC All right let's see what we got...one for you, one for you, one for... O'HARA Yo playa, what the hell is an F13 Champion? JAX I think Crystal was given that belt after taking on that many guys in the locker room at once. O'HARA Snap, Crackle, Pop, playa! As Bohemoth looks down at the OAOAST HardKore Championship that has been handed to him, he questions stealing the belts. BOHEMOTH Are you sure this is a good idea? Static, who is too busy fastening the OAOAST Adrenalin Championship around his waist, is quick to retort. STATIC Dude, they have like what, EIGHT belts on the show right now? They probably won't even notice! The Upstarts drape themselves in championship gold, stealing all the retired championships from the case. O'Hara is the last one to the case, left with the OAOAST European Championship, which he quickly fastens around...his neck? O'HARA Bling bling, playa! I'm ballin' now! Static looks at the belt he's got in his hand, the OAOAST North American championship, and tosses it to Jamie. STATIC You can have this one, you need something to keep those pants up. O'HARA Hater. WRIGHT Well, what have we here? Christian Wright makes another discovery, this time finding a rolled up banner. They tear the ropes that have fastened it together apart, and unravel it to reveal... ...THE OAOAST LOGO BANNER! STATIC Christian, Bo, Jamie...grab this. I've got an idea. Bring that with us. Johnny, keep that camera rolling, this is gonna be goooooooooooooooooood. JAX Whatever it is, make it quick, I got a flashing battery light here, brah. STATIC Nah, this shouldn't take long. Here, back to the parking lot. Static opens one of the side doors, and the group exits the structure, walking back outside into the chilled winter air. They walk towards one of the lights in the lot, and unravel the banner under it, laying it on the pavement. WRIGHT So, what act of tyranny do you have planned for this fabric? Static comes over and huddles up with the Upstarts, and Wright is quick to pull away. WRIGHT That's vile, that's downright reprehensible. I LOVE it. STATIC Let's get to it then. Johnny, you might not wanna zoom in on this though. JAX What the he...WHY ARE YOU GUYS DROPPING YOUR PANTS? The Upstarts, with their backs to the camera, fiddle with their zippers and reveal more of themselves than was ever needed to be seen on an OAOAST show, though thankfully they have their backs turned, so it's left to the imagination. Moments later, a soft sound, similar to a buzzing noise is heard. The Upstarts are PISSING ON THE OAOAST BANNER! JAX Hahahaha, this is so aces. They're gonna haaaaaaaaaaaaate usssssssssss! Wright, Static, and O'Hara finish, but Bohemoth is still going strong. O'HARA Damn, big man, what'd you do, drink two Big Gulps and break the seal today? STATIC Hey, a big guy like that just has some extra storage space. O'HARA YOU LOOKED? You queer! STATIC I didn't look! And who are you calling a queer...you're parading around with a picture of Frank Stallone under your arm! O'HARA I told you, it's not for me! STATIC Oh whatev...wait...you hear that? The Upstarts stop dead in their tracks, and the faint sounds of sirens can be heard in the distance. WRIGHT That bastard Logan must have called the authorities on us! O'HARA Then let's get to steppin', kid! C'mon! The Upstarts all make a break for it, running to their SUV parked across the parking lot...except for Bo, who's still letting the yellow juice loose! Static gets behind the wheel of the vehicle, with Jax taking shotty and the others piling into the back, and they peel out, driving rapidly through the parking lot before Scotty slams on the brakes besides Bo. Jax, who still has the camera out, zooms in on Bo's face, because the wide shot is not exactly family friendly viewing. JAX Dude, are you done or what? BOHEMOTH Yeah yeah, hang on. Bo zips up and calmly gets into the vehicle, and Static throws it back into drive and speeds off before they get caught red-handed, while Jax closes in on the piss-stained logo of the company as they veer off, the sight of police cars filling the OAOAST Home Office parking lot the last thing we see before the battery in the camera dies. *********************** Back at the Awards, the GPX roar with laughter and high-five each other as the crowd boos and the Originals look ready to bust some heads. Zack stands and begins yelling in the direction of the Upstarts and this triggers the long-expected brawl between both factions, which sends tables toppling over and fans screaming for the exits. SCHIAVONE (Trying to be heard over the din) Folks, we are out of time here! We'll take you to the arena where Triple C are ready to call the action for our two main events in our second hour. Well, it was ALMOST the greatest awards show in the history of our sport tonight, but, like the SOURCE Awards every year, it ends up in a brawl. We'll see you next year, everyone! (FADE TO BLACK)

SCHIAVONE Welcome back, folks. On to our next award and to present it, someone who knows very little about Romance. Lucky then that he's presenting the award for Most Entertaining Segment then. JIVIN' JR, everybody! Cue the crowd and wrestlers going nuts, in particular Black T, for the Jivin'est Man In All Of Oklahoma, Jivin' JR! JR removes his ol' black resistol and thanks everyone for their warm welcome. JIVIN' JR BAH GAWD WHAT A REACTION! THE ROOF JUST BLEW OFF THIS PLACE! JIVIN' JR! JIVIN' JR! JIVIN' JR! And I'm here to announce the nominations for the Most Entertaining Segment Of The Year. BAH GAWD, ENTERTAINMENT! MORE ENTERTAINING THAN A GOVERNMENT MULE, BAH GAWD! ... JIVIN' JR Yeah, I'm a little rusty. Anyway, the Most Entertaining Segment. NOMINATIONS! NOMINATIONS! NOMINATIONS! -MOST ENTERTAINING SEGMENT- Alix gets a 'taste' of Dan Black's manhood (HeldDOWN~!, January 20th): The great thing about feuding with chicks is you can rub their face in your crotch and get heat for it...which is exactly what The Ice Heart did, on this fateful night. Black T turn on Zack Malibu (HeldDOWN~!, March 3rd): One of the most heated segments of the year, as Dan Black and Tony Brannigan made their feelings on their Original Elite team-mate PERFECTLY clear. And, in the process, broke poor Candie's neck. *CRAZY VAMPIRE~! (HeldDOWN~!, May 5th): The Crazy Vampire returns~! What more needs to be said? The Love Shack feat. Chicks Over Dicks (HeldDOWN~!, December 1st): A virtual mindfuck of a segment that melts the brains of millions around the world. W'Acky Alix + Loopy Leon + Kranky Krista = Ratings! Weekend At Neddy's (HeldDOWN~!, April 21st): You've got the Sk8ter Boiz, you've got Chicks Over Dicks, you've got Ned Blanchard. Entertaining? What do you think, dummy? JIVIN' JR BAH GAWD WHAT A SLOBBERKNOCKER OF A FIELD!! And your winner is... LOVE SHACK! LOVE SHACK! BAH GAWD, LOVE SHACK FEATURING CHICKS OVER DICKS!! Obviously, Chicks Over Dicks aren't in attendance. So Leon Rodez bounds up to the stage alone to collect the award, hugging Jivin' JR before having to prise the award out of JR's hands. Hey, JR wanted Most Entertaining Character. Vince stole his collection of miscellaneous items, remember? RODEZ Oh, wow. You know, it's a shame that Alix isn't here, because everyone's out here and nobody would catch us if we snuck off to the bathroom. But also, because she'd be delighted with this award. As am I. It's heart warming to know that the first meeting of myself and Alix was found to be so entertaining by everyone, it really is. Maybe we'll mention this in our wedding speeches. Rodez breaks into uproarious laughter. RODEZ Yeah, right! Look where that got Northstar. Uhm, anyway, I'm honoured to pick up this award, especially considering it was my own personal talk show The Love Shack that was responsible for the entertainment. Finally, I can now call The Love Shack an award-winning talk show. Take that, Letterman. At the risk of turning into a blubbering wreck like Halle Berry, I have some people I want to thank. And they are, of course, my supporting cast Chicks Over Dicks. Every lead man needs some entertaining background characters...and when it comes to background characters, there could be none more entertaining. In closing, thank you and keep watching The Shacks! Peace out, V2! Rodez jigs off with his award, as we go back for some more discount comedy banter from our beloved hosts. CABOOSE Damn, you weren't wrong about this being a long show, huh? SCHIAVONE Scheduled to present our next award were Chicks Over Dicks, but as you've already seen, they aren't here tonight. CABOOSE *punches the air* SCHIAVONE So, instead, they decided to send a couple of their bestest best buddies from Hollywood. Two award winning actresses. Two of the most beautiful women in the entire world! Unfortunately, they were held up in traffic, so instead, here are THE SK8TER BOIZ!!! The poor Boiz suddenly don't get the positive reaction they were expecting, but they're game guys and take the smatterings of boos and 'We want Paris Hilton, h0m0s' in their stride as they SK8~! to the podium. Yes, grown men skating, in suits. Only in the OAOAST ladies and gentlemen! THE MARV Alright, WOO! HELL MEL I got my trousers caught in the trucks man. THE MARV We want to thank Chicks Over Dicks for giving us yet another great opportunity. Gawd knows we're not going to win any of these awards, so presenting them is like our very own award. HELL MEL Even if we were fourth choices. THE MARV Marv Pose! RAWK! Cut to NRG, fuming at their table while they sip their new Grape And Apple Grapple protein drinks. HELL MEL Well anyway, we've got...damn it, I can't get it off man. It's tied up in my tux! THE MARV Bummer! Nominations for Comedy Match Of The Year...HEY, we're nominated for this! VOTE SK8TER BOIZ! SCHIAVONE Voting has closed, guys. HELL MEL Hell Mel Pose! Bummer! Mel hits his "Bummer" pose, which is basically him hanging his head. Again, NRG are PISSED~! -BEST COMEDY MATCH OF THE YEAR- HD 1/6: The Frankensteiners vs. The Sk8ter Boiz: I'm reliably informed that this was actually a serious match...which makes it even better, because these two teams stunk the joint up! Who'd have thought they'd be credible teams by now? Not me, that's for sure. HD 2/17: Drek Stone vs. Leon Rodez vs. The Mad Cappa vs. Alix Maria Spezia (Run For The Gold, World Heavyweight Title): Three man and a babe, trying to be the first person to reach the World Heavyweight Title. Wacky, off the wall, extremely odd...and that was just David Hasselhoff. LIVING ANGLELOUSLY: Leon Rodez vs. The 70's Dude (Last Man Dancing Match, X-Division Title): Taking place in a real, fake 70s disco, you had to expect a little bit of oddity. And you got plenty. HD, 5/19: Alfdogg vs. The 70's Dude (Falls Count Anywhere at the Indiana State Fair X-Division Title): Alf and The Dude battled all around the Indiana State Fair, which was never the same again afterwards. Or, so I'm told. HD 5/19: Hoff vs. Axel: An abomination or comedy gold? Jury's out, but the two top stars in the OAOAST seemed to enjoy themselves, so it's all good. HD, 7/14: Alfdogg vs. Some Guy (Falls Count Anywhere Mall of America Madness, Heartland Title): Alf strikes again, as he and opponent tear up another public area. This time, the Mall of America. THE MARV Alright, the winner is... HELL MEL Uhm...crap. THE MARV What? HELL MEL When Krista asked us to do this, did she give you the envelope? THE MARV No, I thought she gave it to you dude! HELL MEL Bummer. THE MARV Well, we'll just have to make it up man. Who're we gonna say won? HELL MEL Us? THE MARV YEAH!! HELL MEL THE WINNERS ARE THE SK8TE... SCHIAVONE THE WINNER IS RUN FOR THE GOLD!!! Drek decides not to get this award either, so Rodez happily walks up the stage and grabs the trophy. RODEZ Damn, I'm gonna have to build an addition to the Shack for these babies. Hey Zack, you might have two title belts there, but I've got....uh....one..two....three Angle Awards! Suck on that, baby! WHOOOOO! ZACK (to waiter) Uh, no more drink service over here, ok? THE MARV And now, apparantly, we have to give out another award. I forget which one it is, but it's something about being the best face. Surely we're nominated for that now, right? HELL MEL According to this envelope Caboose just threw at me, no. THE MARV AND HELL MEL (in unison) BUMMER!! -BEST BABYFACE- Alfdogg: Alf was quite the d1ck when he first came back, the master of cheap heat, but he soon mellowed and the crowd warmed to the OAOAST veteran as he did battle with C.S.I et all. Axel: The Dark One's bumpy year was followed all the way by his fans and he won the Lethal Rumble and the World Heavyweight Title. Hoff: Another World Title win for Hoff. Sure, it didn't go EXACTLY to plan, but the fans were always rock solid behind Minnesota's favourite son. Leon Rodez: The nicest of the nice guys. Everyone loves Leon, even if he is a former pornstar turned wrestler. Question is, which is sleazier? Panther: Popularity was always something Panther could boast, even if his run with the company was year was relatively short. Zack Malibu: Yep. Zack was the most hated man in the OAOAST (sorry, SJ) at the top of the year. Black T changed that and now, Zack is once again a man of the people. THE MARV I still reckon we should have been nominated. Look at this face! HELL MEL And, the winne... THE MARV I mean, come on. I've got a better face than Hoff. I swear, he stuck that goatee on with superglue, it wasn't real man! And Axel? You ask Crystal who's hotter, eh? Cut to Crystal, making vomitting motions. HELL MEL Anyway, the winner... THE MARV I may not have been a pornstar, but look at this face and tell me I'm not cute. I dares ya! HELL MEL Dude, chill. The winner is... "YEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!" Leon Rodez leaps from his seat and begins to celebrate the award, much to the embarrassment of Zack and Candie. HELL MEL Dude, I haven't read it yet. RODEZ (off screen) SORRY! HELL MEL Right. The winner is... LEON RODEZ! "YEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!" Leon Rodez leaps from his seat and begins to celebrate the award, much to the embarrassment of Zack and Candie, again. Bounding up the steps, Rodez tags hands with the Boiz before collecting yet another trophy for his collection. RODEZ And to think, I didn't win jack last year! Who says nice guys always finish last, eh? Besides just beating Zack, this award is special because I know now that people appreciate the fact that I'm not a mouthy, popular asshole. It's been a good year for me, on the whole. Sure, I've encountered a few jerks along the way. That's wrestling for ya. But as I stand here tonight, I feel as good as I ever have. I'm one half of the World Tag Team Champions. I've won a truckload of these award thingys already and we're only halfway through. My girlfriend is hotter than all of you. My talk show, The Love Shack, is the most superb televisual experience in the world. And... YOU LOVE ME! YOU REALLY, REALLY LOVE ME!! I might not have a catchphrase that anyone knows or recognises, but apparantly, I'm popular. And that is all the award I need. But, I'll take this trophy thing anyway. Thank you all and I'll see you real soon when you give me another award, no doubt. Rodez takes yet another award with him, stacking them up in front of him at his table. SCHIAVONE Man, Leon Rodez is certainly having a successful night tonight isn't he 'Boose? CABOOSE I wanna know what idiots kept voting for him. I sure as bloody hell didn't! SCHIAVONE I don't remember you voting at all. CABOOSE ... SCHIAVONE Here to present our next two awards, a man who's no stranger to winning Angle Award statuetts. Last year's Wrestler Of The Year, who incidently is in the running again this year, he is The Franchise of the OAOAST... ZACK MALIBU!! Zack gets a warm hand as he strides up to the podium, to rapturous applause from Candie and loud boohisses from The Upstarts table. MALIBU Thank you, thank you. It's great to be hear in front of so many of my peers and my fans, to present the awards for Best PPV and of course, Best Heel. But, we'll put that one on the back foot for now. Zack smiles... ...and gets nothing. MALIBU Come on, that was funny. Leon Rodez walks past, making the sound of tumbleweed rustling past. MALIBU Phff, whatever. Nominations for Best PPV are... -BEST PPV EVENT- AnglePalooza 2005 AngleMania IV Living Anglelously AngleSlam 2005 November Reign Climax (2005) MALIBU Alright, and the winner is, fittingly... ANGLEMANIA IV!! Cue warm applause. MALIBU Well, seeing as there's no-one to collect the award, we'll move on to the award for Best Heel. Obviously, I know all about being 'the bad guy' in the eyes of you people. But, this year, it's a nice change to be presenting the award instead of being nominated for it. And so, the assho...I mean, nominations, are... -BEST HEEL- Crystal: Boo, hiss! Turned callously on her boyfriend Axel and made his life hell for a while. Then, she resurfaced as the evil Benefactor in the Women's Division. Black T: Dan Black rubbed Alix's face in his crotch. He rubbed her FACE... in his CROTCH! Oh yeah, and there was something with that Malibu guy too. Drek Stone: Led The Upstarts for a while, which he won't thank me for mentioning. As the World Champion previously, he was as mean as mean could be and as bitter as a bag full of lemons. Stephen Joseph: The new leader of The Upstarts and the self-proclaimed Most Hated Man in the OAOAST. Tha Puerto Rican: The 24/7 Champion who just loves to be hated, he made the jump up into the World Title picture towards the end of the year. The Global Party Exchange: After turning on Zack Malibu, these two became charter members of The Upstarts and continue to plot the demise of the OAOAST's Originals to this day. MALIBU Wow, I don't want any of them to win. But, somebody has to, so the award for Best Heel goes to... oh, goody. THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE. The room fills with boos, except for the small Upstart contingent who are all seated together. Jamie O'Hara gets waaaaaaaay too into it, busting out the old Arsenio Hall "whoop whoop whoop" arm motion until Christian Wright calms him down. Scotty and Johnny take the stage and make the "quiet" motion to the crowd, and then begin their acceptance speech. JAX *AHEM*...coughcough...hnnnnnnnnt... STATIC Well, while my partner graphically chooses to clear his throat, allow me to thank you all for this award. Although, I'm not sure how one, or in this case, two, can qualify for best heel...I mean, isn't that just subject to opinion? It's only fitting that the OAOAST gives us this award, seeing as how in THEIR eyes we're heels, but to our fellow Upstarts and to all those people who have felt held back from achieving the greatness they are destined for, we're role models. Heroes. Saviors. We have begun a revolution that the wrestling world will not soon recover from, and surely not the OAOAST! JAX We would like to thank the OAOAST for actually recognizing us for something...we know it must have been a bitter pill to swallow, but this is just more proof that the Global Party Exchange can and will not be denied their rightful place in the history books. We'd also like to give props to the people like Christian Wright, Jamie O'Hara, Bohemoth, and everyone else who supports the Upstart cause, because as the numbers grow so does the sound of our voices. WE WILL BE HEARD! WE WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT! POWER TO THE PEOPLE! I HAVE A DREAM! Jax loses his breath shouting out to the crowd, whose mood has gone from attentive to confused. Static just shakes his head and blocks Johnny from getting back to the mic, telling him that he'll handle it. STATIC 2005 was just the beginning, people. 2006 is the year of the Upstarts. You can believe that. As the days of '05 run out...so does the Originals luck. Static then grabs the Angle Award and walks offstage, throwing up the deuce for his Upstart partners. Jax looks to make sure his partner is offstage and then returns to the mic, but is ushered away by security. JAX All right, all right, I'm going! Jax gets thrown off stage by security, which infuriates the superstar. He removes his blazer and tries running back onstage, but Static hooks his partner in a waistlock and pulls him back to the Upstarts table before a brawl breaks out. CABOOSE That's the only award those jerk-offs will ever win. SCHIAVONE Caboose, please. Hosting an Award Show requires some sense of impartiality. CABOOSE Hey, if you want to find somebody else at this time of night, then go right ahead buddy. You're not going to find another me though. SCHIAVONE ...I'm being told through my earpiece to ignore you...on with the next awards!! It's fitting that this duo present these awards, Tag Team Of The Year... CABOOSE Arguable. SCHIAVONE And Romance Of The Year. CABOOSE Ah. Yeah, they're the perfect couple for it, if you catch my drift. SCHIAVONE Two thirds of Triple C... CABOOSE The two expendable thirds. SCHIAVONE JOHNATHAN COACHMAN AND MICHAEL COLE, everyone! Out walk Coach and Cole, Cole making the mistake of giving Caboose a thumbs up and getting a pixelated middle finger for his troubles. COLE (deadpan) Well, here we are at the Angle Awards. And to... CABOOSE Oi! If you two incompetent idiots have concocted some sort of tedious, cringe-worthy comedy routine than I suggest you abandon it and get on with things, before I give you a belated Christmas present. Caboose pulls a cricket bat, inexplicably, from behind his back. COACH ...andthenominationsare! -ROMANCE OF THE YEAR- Alix Maria Spezia and Leon Rodez: The late entry into the running, it was sparks at first sight when Leon met Alix on The Love Shack. The most brain-meltingest of couples you'll ever meet. Candie and Zack Malibu: THEY'RE HAVING A BABY!! All together now... AAAAAWWWWW!! Crystal and Axel: It was fun while it lasted, as long-time sweethearts Axel and Crystal finally stopped all the back and forthing and got back together. Then, Crystal decided to beat Axek down with a chair...but, hey, nothing lasts forever. Holly-Wood and Ned Blanchard: It was unorthdox and at times it was unreciprocated, but it was feisty~! COLE Four wonderful couples, don't you agree partner. COACH He'd better not hit me with that bat. I've got lawyers! COLE *sighs* The winners are... oh, MY! A surprise victory for CRYSTAL AND AXEL!! The fans seem shocked that the most doomed relationship in OAOAST history has won, but applaud anyway. Axel is already on his feet to collect the award, but suddenly Crystal sweeps into view and rushing up to the podium to snatch the award for herself. While walking to the microphone for her speech, she spits right beside her and glares at the crowd. CRYSTAL That's what I think of all of you! You know what though? I actually am quite sorry that I broke Axel's heart the way I did. The out and out betrayal is something I really do regret. The crowd sorta murmurs in confusion and a small clap of approval is heard. CRYSTAL Don't clap for me idiots! I don't care that I broke his heart! I care that because of what I did, he became more of a top star than he was and got a title shot! Sure, he had just an AWFUL title reign... "POT! KETTLE! BLACK!" Crystal looks at how said that and if looks could kill....well, The Cannon Kid would be dead. CRYSTAL Real cute newbie! Hey, we'll see how mouth you are next HeldDown in the ring with, eh? Crystal steps off the stage, goes towards the Cannon Kid, who is nodding as acceptance to the challenge. Crystal puts on her most distained look, and SLAPS THE SHIT OUT OF HER! "OOOOOOOOOOOOH!" CRYSTAL (getting back on the stage) I thank NOBODY! "BOOOOOOOO!" COLE That was...interesting. COACH How much does that bat weigh. You should know, you've been hit by it. 30, 40 pounds? 50!?! Oh my God, he's looking at meeeeEEE!! COLE On to the next award, for Tag Team Of The Year. Whoop, Here It Is. "WORSE THAN ZACK!" shouts one fat fan wearing the remnants of a chillIdog around his mouth. -TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR- Black T: Their feuds with Chicks Over Dicks and Zack Malibu saw them in the spotlight, despite not earning a title reign this year. Singles success kept the team relatively inactive for part of the year. Chicks Over Dicks: Former Tag Team Champions and YOU DON'T BEAT COD! Seriously, they never lose. They're cool like that. The Global Party Exchange: Always valuable parts of the Tag Team Division and the winners of the Anderson Cup, although they couldn't turn that into an AngleMania title victory. The New, New Midnight Express: A consistant year for Ned and Simon, who were always involved in something, somewhere, somehow. The Sk8ter Boiz: They shocked the world by going from laughing stocks to World Tag Team Champions this year, then shocked them again by actually becoming hottiez! SK8 OR DIE! The Usual Suspects: The current Tag Team Champions and unlikely allies at the start of the year. Since TLC threw them together though, they've grown into a true tag team and have been champions for nearly 4 months. COLE Alright, another close vote, but the fans have chosen the Tag Team Of 2005 to be... THE USUAL SUPSECTS!! Leaping from his seat, Zack gives Candie a warm hug and plays to the fans. By now, Rodez is becoming bored with all this winning lark and smiles warmly, before trudging up the steps once more. RODEZ I knew I should have bought a bigger bag with me. Another award. Sorry if I sound a little underwhelmed, but this thing kinda loses a little luster once you come up the fourth time. So, seeing as he hasn't won a thing yet, I'll let Zack do the talking. Zack shuffles over to the microphone, glaring at Rodez as he goes. ZACK Thanks...I think. RODEZ No problemmo. ZACK You know, at the start of the year, if you'd told me that I'd be teaming with this guy and actually get along with him...sometimes...then, I'd have laughed right in your face. As it is, I'm glad we got thrown together for that TLC Match. Teaming with Leon has been...an experience, certainly. Whatever though, he's a great wrestler and it's proven to be a successful partnership. As evidenced by this trophy. So, we wanna thank everyone who voted for us. RODEZ Double thanks to those that voted twice. ZACK Uhm...yeah. Here's to another successful year for The Usual Supects! RODEZ And here's to a sudden and swift name change! Leon And Zack's Tag Team Imporium Of Greatness! Groaning, Zack and Rodez have some off-mic 'discussions' before, after a fist-pump, Zack makes his way back to his seat. CABOOSE Poor, poor Zack. SCHIAVONE Hey, Leon's a very excitable guy and he's had a big night for awards, what can I say? Well, as you can see, Leon has stayed on stage, because he is set to present our next two awards. Leon, take it away! RODEZ Thanks Tony. Apparantly, someone thought it'd be ironic if I presented the award for Feel Good Moment of the year, seeing as I'm well versed in making women 'feel good'. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" On the floor, Zack can visably be seen throwing his napkin down in ANGER~! RODEZ Hey, that's more laughs than my partner good. Awesome. Uh, anyway, nominations for Best Feel Good Moment are as follows... -BEST FEEL-GOOD MOMENT- Axel wins the World Championship at AngleMania IV Hoff wins the World Championship at AngleSlam Leon Rodez's revenge, School's Out Sandman 9000 returns, HeldDOWN~! 11/24 The Parka defeats Vitamin X, AngleSlam The Sk8ter Boiz shock the world, HeldDOWN~! 5/29 RODEZ Hey, I might win again! Wouldn't that be neat. The Angle Award goes to... ah crap. Oh well, I'm sure you'll all be excited that AXEL WINS! Axel, without anyone interrupting this time, walks up onto the stage and accepts the award. AXEL Well, thank you for this. I'm glad that AngleMania IV made people feel good for me but you better believe that no one was as happy as me, holding that title belt at the end of the night was the greatest moment of my life and, frankly, I hope that Peter Knight has that same feeling when he beats Stephen Joseph. Of course, later tonight I hope to watch him raise the belt as the NEW General Manager of HeldDOWN. Sorry Cal. Calvin sneers at him as Axel raises the award and walks back to his seat. RODEZ Aaalright, you crazy Dark One, you! Yield the floor, because it's time to announce the Rookie Of The Year, of which you are not. Before we get to the nominations, I just want to say I got screwed on this last year. But, anyway, nominations are... -ROOKIE OF THE YEAR- Bohemoth: Former HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, regular bodyguard and members of The Upstarts. This big guy has a big future. Christian Wright: Since arriving to try and oust Leon Rodez from the OAOAST, Christian Wright has been in a prominent position in the company. Involved in Ultimate X, fought Leon Rodez at AngleMania and is the current HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion. Jay Richards: CRAZY VAMPIRE~! *Ahem*. Joining C.S.I turned Jay Richards into a serious(er) competitor and gave him the chance to really show what he could do. The Sk8ter Boiz: "A Tag Team Championship winning team" would never have been a description you'd expect for the Boiz at the start of the year. They've shown a marked will to improve though and have done just that, both in the ring and in their bodies. The Sooner Bruisers: The Frankensteiners were, quite frankly, a joke. They got serious though and as the year wore on, they became more and more of a force in the Tag Team Division. RODEZ Well, hot-dog, we have a weiner... "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" ZACK I HATE YOU ALL! RODEZ ...and, the winner is... oh, brilliant. Christian Wright. The Upstarts table go BALLISTIC and gather around Christian Wright, congratulating The Natural which earns them all a round of heavy boos from all around them. Wright could care less though as he leads The Upstarts with him to the podium, grabbing the award out of Rodez's hand which leads to a brief staredown, before Rodez walks away. WRIGHT Indeed! Yield the stage, for I have prepared some important comments in the event that this occassion occured! Wright begins to unfurl a COMEDY SPEECH ROLL~! which is funny coz it's 10 foot long lol! WRIGHT The award of Rookie Of The Year to myself is an ironic way, for I am unqualified in the naive role of rookie. Lo, my presence has indeed been a recent one on the teleivisual transmissions of the OAOAST. But I have been active in the wrestling industry for some years now. However, I accept this award with much humility. Clearly, I was the only truely deserving candidate in this particular category. Yet, I feel honoured that my loyal followers consider me so that they shalt vote for me democratically in this awards ceremony. It goes to show that while many may still bow at the feet of undeserving miscreatens such as Leon Rodez, Black T and Zack Malibu, some people do have some sense of mental faculty and have voted for the most deserving of men rather than that which they have been weined upon for some period of time. In the crowd, Frank Frankensteiner yawns. A groan can be heard from Foshi, while Colombian Heat asks what this "jigger" is talking about. WRIGHT At this particular period of time, I wish to display my gratitude to some sources. Henceforth, I give my just thanks to my fellow Upstarts. To my bodyguard, Bohemoth, for his tireless years of service. To my young friends Scotty Static and Johnny Jax, two fine young fellows who continue to fight the moral fights that need to be fought for your people's own good. I also wish to express my gratitude to Drek Stone, without whom's support I would not have stumbled upon The Upstarts in the original time I did. Off screen, a producer is frantically signalling for Christian to 'wrap things up'. Good luck with that. WRIGHT All in all, I consider this year a perfectly acceptable platform towards mine and The Upstarts eventually overthrowing of the OAOAST's shackles...and my eventual riddance of you, Leon Rodez. And as HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion of this World, I wish to remind you that I am merely a rookie in OAOAST terms. My time is still yet to come. This time next year, be not surprised to observe me standing at this very podium, collecting far more awards for my outstanding achievements in the field of professional wrestling. And have no fear that I soon shall be 2006, Wrestler Of The Year!! Boos sound out from those who are still awake, as The Upstarts applaud Christian Wright all the way back to their table. SCHIAVONE So, an award for The Upstarts here tonight! CABOOSE Bugger them. Bugger them all. SCHIAVONE .....yes. Well, we're coming up our big awards of the night and one of those is Most Underrated Wrestler. CABOOSE Which is a stupid award. Surely, the MOST Underrated Wrestler would be the guy in the nominations that gets no votes. Or the guy that isn't even nominated. If you're even in the running, then you're obviously rated by someone. And if you win, you're more rated than someone else who would therefore, by default, be more underrated than the winner is. SCHIAVONE .....to present the award, a lady who played an integral part in the year as the General Manager of the OAOAST was much of the year. It's my pleasure to welcome, to present the award for Most Underrated Wrestler... JOSIE BAKER!! The crowd, led by Axel, rise to their feet for the former GM as she makes her way to the podium with smiles and waves for all. Well, not really, but she doesn't exactly flip them all off. JOSIE Oh, what a pleasure it is to see you all again. At least you're not trying to kick each others' asses like you were the entire time I was GM. But, bitterness aside, it's my pleasure to present this award to the most underrated wrestler of the year. Let's get the nominations up already... -MOST UNDERRATED WRESTLER- Brock Ausstin: Returned to the OAOAST and eventually joined up with C.S.I, which really gave his career a boost. One third of the 6 Man Tag Team Champions and now on a collission course, seemingly, with Alfdogg. Johnny Jax: 1 of the 2 Global Party Exchangers, who've had an important year. Missed some action after The GPX's loss at AngleMania, but came back better and more focused than ever as they formed The Upstarts and attempted to overthrow the OAOAST's veterans. Krista Isadora Duncan: Maybe doesn't get the credit she deserves, seeing as she NEVER LOSES and all and was one half of the World Tag Team Champions during her short two stints this year. Peter Knight: Came back and quickly captured the X-Division Title. Has moved on to the World Title picture now and challenged for the title elsewhere on this January 1st show. Scotty Static: The other of the 2 Global Party Exchangers, who've had an important year. Missed some action after The GPX's loss at AngleMania, but came back better and more focused than ever as they formed The Upstarts and attempted to overthrow the OAOAST's veterans. Tha Puerto Rican: PRL has been the 24/7 Champion for nearly 8 months. That fact alone puts him in line for this award. JOSIE Well, there you go. And the award goes to... PETER KNIGHT! Cheers come up from the crowd, but not from Stephen Joseph as he sits at the Upstarts table, though the rest of the group applauds politely. JOSIE PK isn't here right now as he is at the arena preparing for his World Title match later tonight, so I'll accept this award on his behalf. VOICEOVER GUY The 2005 Angle Awards are brought to you by the new movie Killer Kod, starring Prince Killings as a fisherman battling codfish that have been possessed by the devil. Coming soon to 99 cent theaters everywhere.

TOKEN POSH VOICE-OVER GUY (V.O) LIVE, from the city that occassionally sleeps, Charleston, South Carolina ...it's the 2005, ANGLE AWARDS!! And here are your hosts for the evening's festivities...the OAOAST'S latest odd couple, although only plutonically... CABOOSE! And TONY SCHIAVONE! The camera pans around the mass of tables set-up, all seats filled by various OAOAST wrestlers, on-screen personalities, back-staff, various jobsworths and that tennis chick who lasted a couple of weeks. Behind them, fans lucky/stupid enough to have shelled out their money early enough to get a place are in the back row. I.e, a set of bleachers behind all the tables, covered in snazzy (~!) tarp so it's not a complete eyesore. And those fans are on their feet, for 'BOOSE and Tony Schiavone as they stride out onto the stage all suited and booted. Schiavone waves to the fans in the process, making him look even more of a tool. SCHIAVONE Happy New Year everyone and welcome to the 2005 Angle Awards! A night of reflection and a night of reward, for what has been another jampacked year in the OAOAST's history. It's been a year of ups, downs and creamy middles. And tonight, we're here to honour those who contributed so greatly. This promises to be the most important awards ceremony in the history of our great sport, Caboose! CABOOSE All this hyperbole won't do any good in the long run, trust me. SCHIAVONE Well, we have a number of our OAOAST stars in attendance tonight... "YAY!" shouts one voice, sounding suspiciously like The Marv~! SCHIAVONE ...and, hopefully this year, some of them might even make speeches. CABOOSE Well we've got enough bloody awards. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" CABOOSE I wasn't joking. ... SCHIAVONE Yes, as my partner aluded to, we have a lot of new awards this year from last year's proceedings. And along with that, we've got some big matches in store for you in our second hour of the Spectacular, so let's go to the arena where we have Michael Cole, Coach and......Caboose? Wait, how can you be there and here for the awards? CABOOSE Uh....the magic of television? It's not because this awards show was taped earlier today. Can't be. We head into the arena in Charleston, where 15,000 revelers decided to spend the first day of 2006 with the OAOAST and God bless em' for it. Over to Sofa Central we go. COLE Thank you Tony and....uh...Caboose. Once again, Happy New Year to all our fans watching us live on the TSM Network. Tonight, along with looking back on the year that was here in the OAOAST, we've got two big main event matches that just may tell us the direction we're going to go in 2006. In our first contest, HeldDOWN General Manager Calvin Szechstein puts his position on the line.... COACH Though it really wasn't his decision. COLE ....against Axel, who is suddenly in the political game, using the OAOAST's desperation to retain his services to his advantage and making this match. Calvin hasn't sniffed the ring in quite a while, so there has to be some rust there. CABOOSE Oh, forget that, the real main event is Popick finally getting his ass beat down and title taken away by Peter Knight. Knight is incredibly upset over how their match at Climax ended up and has been in seclusion ever since, preparing for this rematch. He didn't even show up for the awards, even though he's nominated for a few tonight. COLE It should be a great night so let's head back to Tony and Caboose at the awards ceremony to kick it off and we will be back for live action in less than 60 minutes! WHOOSH~! We're back at the awards! SCHIAVONE Thanks guys, without any further ado, here to present our first two awards of the evening, Most Entertaining Character and Most Welcome Return...he is a man who knows all about Entertaining Characters, being a successful filmstar and all about Welcome Returns, due to the OAOAST being a day-job for this supreme Governor. He's also a man who paid me very well to read out this self indulging intro... JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA!!! Applause fills the floor, while the fans in bleachers go wild, as Ventura walks out and gives the people what they want. A double bicep pose of doom! Tony Brannigan stands and applauds, getting a tag bit carried away maybe. VENTURA Thank you And Schiavone, thank you for that under-stated introduction. *looks curiously at Tony* Woah woah woah. If I'd have known this was fancy dress, I'd have dragged out my wrestling gear. What did you come as anyway, the waiter? SCHIAVONE Oh, Jesse. I'll have you know, I paid good money for this suit. VENTURA Then you were robbed blind. Which...I guess makes sense, seeing as you'd have to be blind to think that was stylish. ANYWAY! The nominations for Most Entertaining Character, are... -MOST ENTERTAINING CHARACTER- Alix Maria Spezia: Proof that you don't need brains to be entertaining. Alix is wacky and that's why we love her. That and her sweet ass. Christian Wright: And hark, entertainment is nigh! Jivin' JR: BAH GAWD, JIVIN' JR! JIVIN' JR! JIVIN' JR! So much funnier than pulling impliments out of a dummy's ass, although ironically, this idea probably WAS pulled from someone's ass anyway. Leon Rodez: He's a pornstar, don'tcha know? "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard: Simon who? Narcissistic Ned's charisma and cocky character make him the stand-out Midnight. The 70's Dude: The most entertaining thing since Nightrider. VENTURA And the winner of the award is...aw, great, she'd better not have to talk to me. ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! The crowd goes wild, until they realise that there's no Alix. SCHIAVONE Well, unfortunately, Alix and her sister Krista couldn't be here tonight...so, to accept the award on Alix's behalf, a man who most of Alix's entertainment was at the expence of. TERRY TAYLOR, ladies and gentlemen! The crowd goes wild. Trouble is, they're booing. They wanted Wacky Alix, but instead they get Terry Taylor. Talk about a bum deal. Jogging up the steps onto the stage, the ecstatic Terry grabs the award and steps up to the microphone for his triumphant speech...only to get hurled off-stage by Jesse Ventura! VENTURA I don't think so, buddy. Time is money and you, most certainly, are not. On with the nominations for Most Welcome Return. Your nominations for this award are... -MOST WELCOME RETURN- Alfdogg: The former World Champion tore in some of the more chaotic matches of the year, on the way to becoming a two-time Heartland Champion. Chicks Over Dicks: Yay, COD! Disappeared after losing the World Tag Titles, but re-surfaced towards the end of the year. Crystal: Left towards the middle of the year, only to return as The Benefactor to the surprise of...everyone. Peter Knight: PK's return in the summer saved us all from Prince Killings. Oh, and he won the X Division Title and is in the World Title picture. Tha Puerto Rican: IntenseZone's most electrifying man laid some more Smackdown this year. The Parka: The feel-good story of the year, Parka fought through injury and poverty (near enough) to make his return. VENTURA Six worthy nominees, but only one winner, who is... ...okay, so there's two winners. This award is tied, between CHICKS OVER DICKS... and, seein' as they ain't here, let's hear it for the co-winner of the award, ALFDOGG!! Alf rises from his table after receiving high-fives from Thunderkid and Reject and walks onto the stage to accept his award. ALFDOGG I've been the BUTT of a lot of jokes around here in the past, but I showed in 2005 that I'm not a joke and anyone that has gotten in my way has experienced that firsthand. Of course, I'm not done and in 2006, I'm looking big, and it starts at Anglepalooza when I win the Rumble and continues at AngleMania V, where I beat whoever I have to to, once again, become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Thanks for the award. *Applause* as Alf returns to his seat. SCHIAVONE Well, two awards down and what shame Chicks Over Dicks couldn't be here, eh Caboose? CABOOSE Why aren't they? SCHIAVONE Uhm...I believe Krista is currently conducting a book signing for her new novella, of which I forget the name. But I bought it. Honest. As for Alix...*shrugs* CABOOSE Probably getting a check-up. These stem-cell research subjects need to be monitored regularly, you know. ... CABOOSE See, now they don't laugh. Bloody idiots... SCHIAVONE Ladies and gentlemen, for our next two awards, please welcome a beloved colleague of ours. RANDY "MACHO MAN" SAVAGE!! The crowd and wrestlers erupt for the Instrumental of "Land of Hope and Glory" and the Macho Man, yeeeaaahh!! Savage does some twirls before reaching the podium, which seem to dis-orientate the poor old beggar a little. SAVAGE OOOOOHHHHHHH YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!! SCHIAVONE Randy, good to see you here at the Angle Awards! SAVAGE UH-HUH, yeah, guaranteed, yeah, dig it, represent, UH-HUH! SCHIAVONE Uhm, yeah. The awards please... SAVAGE UH-HUH, okay, yeah, dig it, buy the CD, yeeeaaahhh, dig it, dig it, OOOOHH YEEAA... SCHIAVONE RANDY!! SAVAGE ...nominations. Dig it. -BEST TITLE REIGN- Alfdogg, Heartland Championship (Jun 30th-Oct 30th): The first of Alf's two reigns involved him in a gripping feud with C.S.I Ashley Street, Women's Championship (Sep 1st-CURRENT): Led the revamped Women's Division superbly after inheriting the title from Jenny Adams. Drek Stone, World Heavyweight Championship (Jan 1st-Apr 3rd): Carrying over from last year, Drek's title reign managed to fit in great matches with the likes of AJ Flaire, Hoff and Axel. Leon Rodez, X-Division Championship (Jan 1st-Apr 25th): Another carried over reign, the longest in X-Division history. Tha Puerto Rican, 24/7 Championship (Apr 7th-CURRENT): The longest reign of the year for PRL, who made the 24/7 title his own. He even customised it. How kewl is that? The Usual Suspects, World Tag Team Championship (Sep 8th-CURRENT): Won the belts in TLC and have yet to relinquish them. SAVAGE And the winnaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh iiiissssssssss... LEON RODEZ, YEAH!! Rodez leaps from his seat and begins some over-dramatic celebrations. Zack gets a hug, as does Candie. Neither seem that thrilled, but hey, a hugs a hug. Leon begins to make his way to the stage but stops, as he tries to convince The Parka (who's wearing a tux and his Parka mask, of course) to let him take the X-Division Title with him. Unsuccessfully. RODEZ Wowza! Well, isn't this a surprise. Obviously, before I start this no-doubt long-winded, rambling speech, I really must thank all my fans who voted for me. Thanks guys! You all rule! You know who you are. Uhm...to be serious real quickly, I can credit being the X-Division Champion to being where I am today. When I won the belt towards the end of 2004, it was a big opportunity for me. I'd only been around as a regular for a few months, so I was obviously highly honoured to win the belt from The Blurricane. And I made a vow from winning the belt to make sure I'd make it a memorable reign. The X-Division Title, to that point, had been lost in the shuffle a little. So it's great to see it in the arms of someone like The Parka right now. I'm glad everyone enjoyed my title reign...and, hey, if you want to see me as the TWO time X-Division Champion, get those letters in to OAOAST Headquarters, stat! Peace out everyone! Rodez merrily takes his award back with him to his seat, waving it (the award) in Zack's face. SAVAGE Alright, yeah, dig it, snap into a Slim Jim, yeah... SCHIAVONE NEXT AWARD!! SAVAGE Okay, feud of the year, yeah. As someone who knows all about feuds, I want to take this opportunity to say 'Fuck you Hulk Hogan'. And now, the nominees, guaranteed, yeah! -FEUD OF THE YEAR- Alfdogg vs. C.S.I/S.H.I: Alf spent the latter half of the year battling Chris Stevens and co, culminating in the brutal Christmas Deathmatch at Climax. Axel vs. Hoff: At times friendly, at times not. These two did battle over and around the World Title right up until the Summer when...some other stuff happened. Black T vs. Zack Malibu: One of the most heated feuds in recent memory. Black T and Zack started the year as allies, spent much of it as bitter enemies, then ended it as uneasy allies. Chicks Over Dicks vs. New, New Midnight Express: Krista and Ned have a child. What other feud can boast that sort of personal investment? Christian Wright vs. Leon Rodez: Pornstar Leon meets Morality Man Christian. Chaos ensues. Ended with a high profile match at AngleSlam. OAOAST Originals vs. The Upstarts: The feud that has engulfed most of the federation. Young versus Old, the classic formula. SAVAGE And the winner is... OOOOOHHH YYEEEEEAAAHHH, ORIGINALS VERSUS UPSTARTS!! Confusion ensues, at least after Drek Stone can be seen storming off into the sunset cursing wildly. Nobody quite knows who should collect the award and to be honest, no-one would really want it. The Upstarts wouldn't want to share with The Originals, after all. And, vice versa. SCHIAVONE Uhm, well...let's take a break, before Drek comes back and starts beating us all to a bloody e-pulp. CABOOSE Totally. SCHIAVONE In recent years, the OAOAST has gone through a lot of transformations and re-transformations. The OAOAST you see before you now is a vastly different breed of animal from the original OAOAST, which is a testament to all involved. With that said, we bring you to one of the most prestigious awards for our wrestlers... the awards for Free TV and Pay Per View Matches Of The Year. We've seen plenty of memorable matches over this past year and if anything, this is the most competitive of all the categories. CABOOSE Very true. Although, it's hard to look past my match at AngleMania. Cut to Black T, rolling their eyes. SCHIAVONE As you can see, my friend next to me is no expert. However, the man who will present the award is. He is our good friend, "THE PROFESSOR" MIKE TENAY! TENAY Thank you Tony. This year truely has been a great year in the OAOAST. However, before we get to the awards, we actually have a special award to present. Last year's Awards' timing meant that a front-running match was ommitted from the ballot. Well this year, it proved so popular that the OAOAST have decided it deserves recognition, even though it cannot really be called the PPV Match of 2005. So, we present this... Tenay places an award on the podium. TENAY ...special 2004 Joint Match Of The Year trophy, to the Las Vegas Deathmatch between AXEL and RAGDOLL!! Warm applause greets this announcement. TENAY This match, along with the three other Matches of the Year, will be aired right after the New Year's Spectacular in a bonus third hour of programming! And now, on to the nominations for 2005's Pay Per View Match Of The Year. -PPV MATCH OF THE YEAR- ANGLEPALOOZA: Drek Stone vs. AJ Flaire (I Quit Match, World Heavyweight Title): A brutal match at the first Pay Per View of the year, as AJ looked to defy the medical odds to wrest the World Title from The Reckless One. ANGLEMANIA IV: Drek Stone vs. Hoff (World Heavyweight Title): The first of two World Title Matches at AngleMania, which was a hotly anticipated rematch from Zero Hour. LICENSE TO PIN: Peter Knight vs. Leon Rodez vs. Christian Wright vs. Jay Richards (Ultimate X Match, X-Division Title): The debut of the high-wire spectacular in the OAOAST, as Peter Knight defended his title in a match more suited to his opposition than he. Spots aplenty! BATTLEBOWL: The BattleBowl Match: This one-off Pay Per View event culminated in a Battle Royal, with the winner advancing on to fight for the World Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam. ANGLESLAM: Hoff vs. Axel (World Heavyweight Title): Hoff and Axel's feud gets serious and the World Title got a new owner. WORLD WITHOUT END: Stephen Joseph vs. Peter Knight vs. Dan Black vs. Tony Brannigan (Fatal Fourway Match, World Heavyweight Title): With Hoff's departure, a new World Heavyweight Champion was needed. Four of the top contenders to the title where therefore stuck into this battleground, with a shocking result! NOVEMBER REIGN: Torneo Cibernetica: One of the highlights of the year has been the revamped, never better Women's Division. The ladies got their chance to shine in this mammoth match, which featured the vast majority of the division. TENAY Seven great matches, I'm sure you'll agree. But the deserved winner is in and the award for 2005 PPV Match Of The Year goes to... THE TORNEO CIBERNETICA!! *Applause*, especially from the Women's Divsion tables. They stand and take a bow while Ashley Street, the winner of that match, walks onto the stage to receive the award trophy. ASHLEY All right! I'd like to thank the fans for voting for this match and everyone that was involved in it. It was a hell of a battle and I was honored to have taken part in it. Thank you very much! *Applause* as she steps down and Tenay steps back behind the podium. TENAY And now, on to the Free TV Match Of The Year. Again, a very impressive field, which is... -FREE TV MATCH OF THE YEAR- HD, 3/10: The NNMX & Black T vs. The GPX & COD: Four teams with a lot of history between them were brought together for this 8 Man Tag on the Road to AngleMania. HD, 7/21: Hoff vs. Some Guy (#1 Contendership Match): Number One Contender Hoff offered up his AngleSlam title shot to anyone in the OAOAST and answering the challenge this time out was the veteran, Some Guy. HD, 9/8: The Sk8ter Boiz vs. Black T vs. The GPX vs. The Usual Suspects (Tables, Ladders and Chairs, World Tag Team Titles): The unlikely Champs faced their toughest test to date...three teams, a splashing of table, a little bit of ladder and a whole lot of chair! And for the Boiz, it would be one hurdle to ollie too far. HD 10/27: The Usual Suspects and The Parka vs. The GPX and Christian Wright: An Originals versus Upstarts 6 Man Tag Match, heading into HD, 11/24: Sooner Bruisers, Sk8er Boiz, Heavenly Rockers, Love Doctors, & Los Diablos de Fuego vs New New Midnight Express, Team Heyross, South Central Militia, Hell's Hitmen, & Los Conquistadores (Survivor Series Rules Match): A Thanksgiving tradition revived on the Thanksgiving special, drawing in 20 of the OAOAST's tag team wrestlers for some more gratuitous chaos. HD, 11/24: Stephen Joseph vs. Alfdogg vs. Zack Malibu (World Heavyweight Title): Another Thanksgiving special match, which saw the World Heavyweight Champion going up against two former World Champs with the number one prize in e-entertainment on the line! TENAY And, the winner of Free TV Match Of The Year goes to... TABLES, LADDERS AND CHAIRS!! The crowd roars, and many, if not all (save for The Upstarts, who remain bitter) stand up and applaud the duo of Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez as they walk onstage, where they're presented with the award for winning what was voted the OAOAST's Television Match Of The Year. RODEZ Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah baby! Leon takes the Angle Award and holds it up while pounding his chest, while Zack takes his Angle Award and holds it up high. The tag champs absorb the adulation from their peers (well, most of them), and Leon then hugs his partner, which draws a chuckle from Zack, who has had to get used to Leon's overly affectionate ways at times. Once the crowd dies down it's time to take the mic, and Leon kicks that off for The Suspects. RODEZ Thank you guys, thank you so much for voting for the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Thank you for recognizing our efforts that night, which paid off in full since we are the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, YEEEEEEEAH! Leon backs away and pounds his chest again, then kisses the Angle Award and holds it over his head, while Malibu takes over on speech duty. MALIBU Like Leon said, we're very humbled by this, but not only was this a brutal match featuring eight of the best competitors, it was also the first time Leon and I competed as a tag team, and here we are months later still holding the gold, and now being recognized by the company as two men responsible for putting on a classic contest. Still, despite the friction between people involved in that contest, right now I want to say that you people...Tony, Dan Black, The SK8R BOIZ and the GPX, you were a part of history with us, and you should applaud yourselves for that. Everyone, give THEM a hand, because they were a part of the formula that night, they put in one hundred and ten percent, and THEY helped make that match just as memorable as our victory did. Give it up for them, right now! Malibu and Leon start clapping, and rally the crowd to applaud their fellow Originals, the new and improved Sk8r Boiz, and even the hated Global Party Exchange. All except the GPX thank Zack and give their props right back to the tag champs, who come off the stage and shake the hands of their opponents from that fateful night. When they approach the Upstarts table the GPX rises, but no hands are shook, as instead Jax knocks Leon's hand away, and Static spits in Zack's face! The Suspects break into action, but security is on the scene quicker than a papparazzi on a Lindsay Lohan nipple slip, and the sides are seperated before things break down into a ruckus that could damper the rest of the evening. SCHIAVONE Uh....let's take a quick break here, shall we? We'll be back with more of the 2005 Angle Awards in a moment. TOKEN POSH VOICE-OVER GUY (V.O) The 2005 Angle Awards are brought to you by OAOASTShop.com. Visit OAOASTShop.com for merchandise featuring all of your favorite OAOAST stars, including Chicks Over Dicks shot glasses from Krista's many binges (so you might want to clean the puke from them first).

If I don't get any more speeches or anything, I'll put it up right now because this NE/Miami game is boring me to tears.

Someone mentioned www.caws.ws earlier. I'm going to check it out for AJ Styles and Samoa Joe CAWs.

Finally picked up Mercenaries the other day (last used copy EB had). It's REALLY fun and catharic to, after making sure your game is saved first, just start ordering air strikes on everything you see. I've already put some good time into it and am not even through the first deck yet.

*Marks Max on his "Posters with common sense" list* Hmm, not many names here, I see.

Nice Guy Adam is posting the show in my place tonight, so whoever doesn't have stuff in, PM it to him, not me. I'll forward what I do have to him right now.

Great, go away for two friggin' days and now I don't know what the fuck is going on. I don't know why you guys are even listening to the opinions of Drek and FM, because I'd gladly tell the both of them to piss off and shove their opinions up the pooper, but that's just me. Whatever, I really don't care what direction we go here. I'd still go with Alf being the "monkey wrench" thrown into both sides' plans when he wins the Rumble and then the title, turning the whole story into "Alf vs. the World"

I dunno, but for some reason I don't think the voiceovers are all that bad considering, though Christian isn't exactly Captain Charisma when he speaks. But Jericho going in the Rumble at #1, winning it and then having Vince disqualify him for changing his number was odd as hell (so the WWE writers must have written it). Rumbles are better in this one, but it's pretty much impossible to survive when two guys are pushing you out.

I don't mind if you write most of this one as well, SJ. I'll just add in what I want to and tweak things here and there.

Did you know that "This ain't ballet"? According to Cole, Tazz and JR every five minutes, it ain't. Other than that (and getting used to the new stamina system), I'm enjoying this so far. I marked out a bit inside when I unlocked Bret and heard his music the first time.