King Cucaracha

"You guys"?

Does that include under aliases?

5 minutes? Under two names? Are you that quick with your blow-up doll?

That's all I wanted to hear. Battlenuts cares about being excluded, even after the months of saying he doesn't, ladies and gentlemen. Everything he says, worthless. Even more so than we previously thought. We've gone from all being 'elitist faggots', to 'the bulk of us are elitist faggots, but I really like your MMA coverage and I'm lonely over here'. Battlenuts, Hypocrite. Mark it down. What a beautiful couple of days.

He's been registered and posting over there with the elitists he hates so much in secret since March as Dr. Zaius. Did you miss the memo? Because this is important to the debate we've got going on here. Any clues Battlenuts?

Franklin. I hate people who are too obvious and only have one real good attack that everyone sees coming. Know what I mean? You're really going to have to keep the clues coming, you're doing a good job of disguising yourself over there, whoever you are.

No, see, that's one I already crossed off. You're not Twisted Intenstine, are you? I could buy that. If not, you're gonna have to give me a clue.

I'm with you man. It's so bad, SuperJerk couldn't stay away. Maybe he doth protest to much. ...... Fess up 'nuts. Are you pbone? He doesn't seem to like EHME.

Only way this could get weirder is if Battlenuts turns out to be EHME.

Traitor!

So, anyway, now's the time to come clean about your aliases people.

Plus, to be fair, it is an awesome song.

The point is, he was lying. Not really. There's hardly a wealth of material to choose from in regards to the words Dr. Zaius, to be fair.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgl22q1pQ78

So, who's up for delaying until Friday? *raises hand*

Didn't want this clogging up General Chat. Welcome to NHB, or something.

Not biting, sorry Battlenuts.

*looks around* Are you the exception that proves the rule? You do realise the guy who posted a link to the new board is one of the people who's not at the new board but isn't bothered by it honest!, right? Does that still make him a fag? Actually, you know what, I'm not even going to bother giving you something to post about. Thread closed.

I'm just glad SuperJerk took such an interest in this issue and helped everyone out. There's a man who cares, ladies and gentlemen.

Stretcher Match Leon Rodez vs. Bohemoth Plus my Battlebowl match.

Backstage we find Jade Rodez-Duncan being talked through the finer points of minimising lens flare by film student Molly Nerdly. Mind clearly elsewhere, and let's face it who can blame here, Jade stares off into the distance. The stare is interrupted by the sound of bounding footsteps and the appearance of an excited young Maya Duncan-Blanchard. MAYA Hi! JADE Maya? What are you doing here? MAYA You mean Mom hasn't told you? JADE (suspicious) Told me what? MAYA Well. She said she's sick of having me around the house 24/7, talking about curses and voodoo spells and taking her to mediums and trying to cheer her up and all that stuff. So, she told me that when she was my age, grandma made her get a summer job. What she neglected to mention was the legendary way she quit and the community service she was forced to be bribed out of as a result. But by the time Alix told me that it was too late. Point is, she's sick of having me under her feet. Which is why I'm here. To answer your question. Jade looks ever suspicious. JADE Mom got you a job? Here? MAYA Yup. Since she can never go back to where she worked, this was the easiest option. Turns out you don't need talent to work here, it's not what you know, it's who you know! No offence. Jade grumbles to herself. MOLLY Oh golly! Your first real job... MAYA Real? Eh. MOLLY You know, if you're not troubled by my asking, I'm supposed to be putting together a video project for my media class and I've been looking for some more subjects around here. Maybe I can follow you around for a day? MAYA All my media commitments go through Mom and my team of agents, so ya gotta check with them. But that shouldn't be a problem. Hiding bitterness about her 'team of agents', Jade waves to get Maya's attention. JADE What's the job, exactly? MAYA Oh, that's the thing. Mom's kinda stuck between getting rid of me and worrying obsessively about me. So, the only way to keep her happy was to be your apprentice. That way you're looking after me. And I get to hang out all day with Tyler and Shayne! Oh, I couldn't think of a better job that doesn't involve Zac Efron and bodyhair removal. JADE Let me get this straight... you're my 'apprentice'? You can't be. You're too young to wrestle. And I hardly ever manage anymore. MAYA Well, you can change that real quick. Just answer one of those messages Shayne keeps leaving on the answer machine. "We need help, we suck without you, your Mom took our dignity and our manhood, we need you back". Remember? That way, I can learn from you when you're managing them and then when you're wrestling, I can be your manager! It looks super easy. JADE (annoyed) You'd be surprised. MAYA Phff. Stand, wave, look pretty, get crowd cheering. It's basically like being a cheerleader. Or more like a mascot only without the stupid costume. I think I can handle that. Just, when Mom asks, pretend you're teaching me some sort of worthwhile lesson about how to climb onto a ring apron and dance around until a referee looks at you, or something, so she doesn't change her mind and give me a harder job instead. MOLLY I find engaging in small talk keeps referees occupied longer. MAYA Ooh, okay. (to Jade) See, like that. JADE You know, I really think I should speak to Mom about this... MAYA Yeah yeah. Listen, I'm gonna go find Shayne and Tyler, tell them the good news! See ya soon! The excitable Maya jogs off and Jade sighs to herself, clearly not too excited about the thought of this apprentiship. JADE Sisters... MOLLY Tell me about it.

and in the ring, we find Cucaracha Internacional just making their entrance. Black and Faqu make their own, single-minded entrance into the ring, while Blonde sits on the middle rope and holds it open for Landon, waiting for him to finish showing off to camera. Landon spins into the ring and raises his non-matching, non-OAOAST belt in the air. Blonde joins in. And... well, Blonde joins in. COLE Official, unofficial, who knows? All we know is Cucaracha Internacional are claiming to be OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions and they are defending those titles here tonight. MADDIX Finally. Finally, the waiting is over. And finally, Cucaracha Internacional get to show ourselves to the world. The greatest collection of talent in the OAOAST today. The toughest, hardest hitting man in the OAOAST today, Nathaniel Black. The most intimidating monster in the OAOAST, Faqu. The most stylish showman in the OAOAST, James Blonde. And the all-round best athlete in the entire world, me. Great individually. Greater together. The strongest unit in the OAOAST. The OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That makes it official in my book. COLE Why, because Landon said so? COACH Exactly. [COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the challengers this evening. Total combined weight, seven hundred and eighty two pounds... from Chicago, Illinois, DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY, THE LOVE DOCTORS... and from sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, MORACCA and MARIACHI, LOS DIABLOS DE FEUGO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" The Docs take the attention from Los Diablos in their stride as they strip off their lab coats and head to the ring. Having two gay masked luchadors dressed in hot pink lusting over you kinda hurts your appeal with the ladies, but luckily The Love Doctors' appeal was so strong in the first place, they're still in demand. COACH So, this is the team that's supposed to face the strongest unit in the OAOAST? Hah! COLE You're very easily influenced, aren't you Coach? Landon says something and you're repeating it for weeks. Like a parrot. Blonde and Black look pretty confident as they look at their challengers. But Landon calls his team together and calls on them to focus, before giving them a team talk. COLE Do you think Landon sometimes takes this leader role a little too seriously? COLE A strong unit needs a strong leader. COLE Polly want a cracker? *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and Dr. Anderson is on duty, starting out with James Blonde. Eager to impress, Blonde tries to intimidate Anderson before they lock up, which doesn't work so well. What does work is an armdrag. So much so that Blonde celebrates, soaking in Landon's applause. COLE James Blonde is like an attention starved toddler. Blonde is brimming with confidence and on the next lock-up, he scores with another armdrag. Pointing to Landon, Blonde dedicates the move to him. Landon points back, but behind Blonde to warn him, Dr. Anderson waiting and dishing out an armdrag of his own! A second! And a third! He goes for a fourth, but Blonde pulls away and rolls out of the ring, complaining to Landon that his hair was pulled. COLE If you don't play fair, I'll tell on you to my daddy! Give me a break! COACH He had his hair pulled Michael. He's got every right to complain. COLE So it's not just Landon's word you take as gospel? Calmed down, Blonde rolls back into the ring and challenges Dr. Max to fisticuffs. But Max blocks a right hand and dishes out one of his own. Anderson rocks Blonde back against the ropes with rights and sends him for the ride, up and over with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! Quick tag is made and as Blonde gets up, Dr. Pigley soars from the top with a high crossbody... 1... 2... Kickout! Rolling away Blonde makes the tag to Nathaniel Black and scurries to the floor. Black gives his partner a funny look as he steps into the ring and locks up with Pigley. Into a hammerlock, down goes Pigley, taken down by the Brit. Black grabs a headlock as Pigley fights to his feet and shoots his opponent off. Black comes back with a shoulder knockdown, hitting the ropes again to deliver a second one. A third is avoided by a Pigley leapfrog though. Both men come off the ropes, Pigley getting a blind tag to Anderson before he baseball slides through the legs of Black. Coming to a stop, the confused Brit takes an inverted atomic drop from Pigley, held for Anderson who hits the running dropkick! COLE Lovematic Grampa, VINTAGE Love Doctors! Cover by Anderson... 1... 2... No! Anderson attacks Black with some stinging shots and throws a spinning backfist. Black shakes it off though and immediately drops Dr. Anderson with a European uppercut. COACH And that's why you don't trade shots with Nat Black. Tag made and in comes Landon, to a chorus of boos. COLE First time we've seen Landon in action in many months. And he's just as popular as ever! Held open, Anderson takes a hard kick to the chest from Landon. Landon follows up with some forearms, before throwing Anderson into the Cucaracha corner. A swipe at Pigley draws him in and Maddix keeps the referee expertly distracted while Black, Blonde and Faqu all club at Anderson from the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There you go, leading by example, Landon Maddix! COLE Yeah, the example being, cheat to win. COACH Keyword there being 'win'. Once the referee has gained control, Landon runs at Anderson in the corner and nails a leaping forearm smash. He rolls Anderson down onto the mat and strikes with a kick to the back before covering... 1... 2... No! Landon tags in Black and whips Anderson to the ropes. A drop down by Landon leaves Anderson unable to avoid a jumping high knee from Black, right under the chin! Landon offers up a high-five and the Brit eventually gives in to the crass US ways of celebrating before pinning Anderson down... 1... 2... No! COACH Even you have to admit, Cucaracha Internacional are working great as a team. Better even than with Cortez, now they've got Landon pulling the strings. COLE They're a great team, no doubt. They've held the 6-Man Tag Team Titles for about eight months. It's just a pity they're not a six man team anymore now Landon's decided he wants to play again. Another tag is made, this time to Blonde, very much at Blonde's request. Black scoops and slams Anderson near the corner as instructed, allowing Blonde to come off the middle rope with the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop! A rare success, Blonde looks to Landon, who urges him to cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Los Diablos rub themselves nervously as Dr. Anderson is in a bad way. Strutting around, Blonde feels confident and piefaces the Doc a couple of times. COLE No need for that. Blonde boots Anderson in the gut and jars him with a Sitout Jawbreaker. Rolling back to his feet, The Trendsetter flicks his hair, lets out a celebratory "WHOO!" and hits the ropes. But Anderson runs right past him. And as Blonde slows to a stop, Anderson nails him with a big LARIAT! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Blonde spent a little too much time prancing and preening and it cost him there! Both men crawl to their corners and it's tags on both sides. Landon in for the champions and Dr. Pigley for the challengers. Landon rushes in and runs right into a drop toehold. Quickly back up, he drops down as Pigley comes off the ropes and tries for a dropkick, but Pigley hangs on and Landon hits hard! Pigley floats on top with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... No! Landon bridges up and quickly takes Pigley up onto his shoulders! COLE GTS! But Dr. Pigley throws elbows, fighting off the anesthetic move. And shifting down a little, Pigley suddenly snaps backwards, bringing Landon down sharply with a CRUCIFIX BOMB!! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Oh, that was close! Staggering up, Landon is caught and set up for the Flatliner. But with a quick knee to the ribs, Landon is able to reverse on Pigley and hit the flatliner variation of his own, the Crash Landon '05!! Pigley flails away on impact, luckily near his corner, where Moracca and Mariachi tag themselves in. COACH Hey, they can't both tag in. COLE Just like you can't have four six-man tag team champions? Landon makes the mistake Blonde did by taking to long to follow up and before he knows it, he's surrounded. With Mariachi making kissy faces, Landon tries to turn away, but runs into Moracca... and gets trapped between a HOMIES HUG!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! Moracca and Mariachi fondle away with Landon aghast in the middle! Blonde sees his mentor in trouble and quickly slides in, knocking both Diablos down from behind. He then tries to comfort a shaken Landon with a hug of his own, which probably isn't the best idea and he gets pushed away. Blonde turns and tries to clothesline Moracca over the top, but gets backdropped to the floor! Meanwhile, Landon is caught with a headscissors by Mariachi! COLE And the homies are having a good time here! As Mariachi and Moracca 'celebrate' though, Landon reaches his corner and tags in Faqu. COACH Uh-oh. COLE Well, fun-time is over. Faqu, The Samoan Wrecking Ball, the not-so secret weapon is in. The big Samoan steps in, getting Los Diablos attention with a primal scream, then MOWING THROUGH THEM WITH A DOUBLE SHOULDER BLOCK!!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Like two hot pink pinballs! Beating his chest, Faqu waits for somebody to get back up. Dr. Anderson comes in and attacks from behind, trying to subdue the monster. Unable to do much damage he hits the ropes, but runs back into a throat thrust from Faqu! And hurt, he falls prey to a BLACK LARIAT from Nathaniel, sending him rolling to the floor! COLE And now, Los Diablos in serious trouble! Faqu lines up Moracca... *SMACK!* ...and nails him with a Thrust Kick! Mariachi is up next and Faqu reels him in, picking him up in a fireman's carry. Signalled to wait, Faqu is then loaded up some more as Black, Blonde and Landon lift Moracca up and place him on top of Mariachi, Faqu letting out a yell before CRUSHING THEM BOTH WITH A DOUBLE SAMOAN DROP!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" A raging Faqu stomps out his territory as the poor Mexicans are picked up, helpless to do anything about it. Blonde sets up Mariachi... and delivers ILLEGALLY BLONDE... while Black hits the BRITTANIA BOMB on Moracca, Landon in the middle counting along with the referee... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH That's why they're the 8-Man Champions! COLE That and because Landon had a spare belt lying around. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... LANDON MADDIX, NATHANIEL BLACK, JAMES BLONDE and FAQU... CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The 8-Man Titles... well, 6-Man Titles and spare SWF belt... are passed into the ring and it's Landon and Blonde leading the celebrations again on a successful defence. Black gives a defiant show of the belt to the fans while Faqu chews on his, staring at the damage done. COLE A successful 'first defence' for Cucaracha Internacional. Say what you will, but they are an impressive team, no matter what you think of Landon and the legalities of these 8-Man Titles.

Back we go, to the drawing room, which is like any other room, except with a tumbler. JOSH Okay, Battlebowl match upcoming, let's pick our next four names Maggie. Maggie hands Josh the first ball. JOSH First up, we have... The King Of The Mardi Gras himself, RICO DE JANEIRO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Right Round" by Flo Rida plays as Rico, having left Lucius behind with a high-five back in the locker rooms, emerges with Queen Esther in tow sprinkling fairy dust (glitter, $59 a pot) over her man. Rico strokes the 'tache at two lovely looking ladies in the crowd as he enters the ring. JOSH And Rico's tag team partner will be... one half of the LDC Moneygang, SPENCER REIGER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Spencer leaves with a smug look on his face, patted on the back by Colin Maguire Jr. COLE Two graduates of the WORLD REKNOWNED OAOVW training facility to team together here. COACH And if you're interested in training to be a wrestler, send a cheque for $50,000 to "The Coach", PO Box... COLE Fans, please do not send The Coach any money. Ever. Boos ring out as Spencer strolls to the ring proclaiming victory. Teasing at his hair, he flicks some excess hair gel at the unlucky fan at the end of the aisle before sliding into the ring. And despite an odd look at Rico, he shakes his hand. Queen Esther tries to go through some kind of welcome ritual with her wand, but Spencer is busy cussing out fans, cruel words for her sweet ears. JOSH Okay and on team number two we have... uh-oh... well, I don't think Spencer's going to like this, it's the other half of the LDC Moneygang, COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd cheer, not for Colin, but for Spencer flipping out in the ring. And for Colin's look of amazement backstage. COLE OH MY! The number one contenders to the Tag Team Titles are going to be pitted against each other! COACH Wait, this can't happen! This isn't right! COLE Hey, that's Battlebowl! We've seen partners against each other, teams reunited, it's the luck of the draw. And the luck of the Irish has not come to pass for CMJ. After a long wait, Colin comes out with his hands on his hips and shaking his head. Neither he or Spencer are happy and the crowd are loving it. Back in the drawing room, the next name brings down both Josh and Maggie's mood. JOSH And joining him... former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... LEON RODEZ. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE Oh boy. [COLOR=purple]"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..."[/COLOR] The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park. Stalking out into a sea of boos, Leon Rodez scowls. At the crowd, at the match, at life basically. And the fact his ribs are still taped up under his ring gear. Leon slowly walks to the ring scowling at the crowd as Rico, Spencer and Colin all look on. [COLOR=purple][b][i]"I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!"[/b][/i][/COLOR] Leon climbs up the steps and looks at the three in the ring with the same contempt he does everyone else. COLE Well here's the real wildcard of Battlebowl. Much as Colin didn't want to be drawn against Spencer, nobody wanted to be drawn as Leon Rodez's partner. How are you possibly going to get along with someone as bitter and uncaring as him? COACH I don't know. But I do know, Leon wants the World Title back. And getting through this match gets him a step closer. COLE And Leon, last week, perpatrator of that assault on Bohemoth. We know that Bohemoth is not here tonight, but we've got an announcement coming up later on in the show regarding what happened, so stay tuned for that. Leon stands on the apron and Colin approaches him. The Irishman tries to strike up some conversation but Leon just stares back at him blankly, as if he weren't there. Colin eventually gives up on him and starts off. *DINGDINGDING* Colin turns around and finds Spencer starting on the other side, which gets the crowd interested. COLE Well we're not wasting any time. Battle of the Moneygang! Colin and Spencer square off. It starts off friendly, but soon they're exchanging words. And whatever the words are, they end up escalating into a shoving match. Chest to chest, the partners square up, the crowd just waiting for them to go at it... so of course, they suddenly break out in a laugh at fooling them. Not giving the crowd what they want, The Moneygang indignantly refuse to lock up like the ref is telling them. And they both tag out. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leaving the ring, Colin and Spencer stand on the outside and decide to watch the match from ringside, together! Leon just stares at them from the apron as Rico gets a little more heated about it. COLE Now wait a minute, this is a tag team match. But it looks like, Spencer and Colin are opting out and they're going to let Rico and Leon decide it for them? COACH Might as well. One of them's going to the battle royal, one's not. It would be unfair to make them play a part in choosing. Leon slowly gets into the ring and Rico realises Spencer's not coming back to his corner. And The Moneygang watch on, chatting between themselves as Leon and Rico square off. Rico goes to lock-up, but Leon evades behind and catches Rico turning around with a Rolling Sobat to the gut! Forearms knock Rico back against the ropes, setting up an irish whip. Rodez lunges at Rico with a back elbow knockdown, looking out at the Moneygang who applaud mockingly as he picks Rico up again. COLE So for now at least, it's going to be Leon versus Rico and Leon you'd expect to have the advantage, being a former World Champion. But the question is how those ribs are holding up. Leon delivers a vertical suplex and covers... 1... 2... No! Kicking away at Rico, Leon is caught with a shot to the ribs and quickly digs his fingers into Rico's eyes to subdue him. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" Catching Rico with two good right hands Leon shakes off the fingers and hits the ropes. A clothesline is ducked, so Leon carries off into the far ropes. And Rico catches him with a knee right to the injured ribs, flipping Leon up and over!! COLE And that will definately test the ribs! Crawling away into a corner it seems that shot has rocked The Fallen Idol and he holds his hands up, trying to beg Rico off. The Brazilian stays right on Leon, dropping a knee into the ribs in the corner. And a second time. He then picks Rodez up, whipping him into the opposite corner and watching as Rodez crumbles to his knees. Queen Esther claps happily as Leon again holds his hands up. Still no mercy from Rico though, whipping Leon back to the corner he came from, dropping him again. COLE Leon hitting those turnbuckles hard and he's in trouble, with his 'tag team partner' about six feet away with his hands on his hips. Rico strokes down the infamous porn 'stache and goes after Leon again. On his knees, Leon knows there's no chance of a reprieve. But he begs anyway. And lulls Rico in, grabbing him by the trunks and pulling him face-first into the middle turnbuckle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Pouncing on Rico, Leon clubs away with wild shots to the back of the head until the referee pulls him away demanding a clean break. Leon just stares through him, lining Rico up in the corner and slamming his knee into the Brazilian's kidneys. Turning Rico around, Leon follows up, testing his ribs with an Exploder Suplex on Rico. Which leaves him with some pain, but Rico with more, setting up a cover... 1... 2... No! Interested observers, Spencer and Colin nod their heads. COLE Now nonchalant can these two get about this? COACH This is relevant to their interests. Still favouring his ribs Leon waits for Rico to get up instead of picking him up. A boot sets Rico up, snapmared over and kicked in the back. Hitting the ropes in front, Leon follows up with a passing clothesline on the seated Brazilian. COLE A Sliding Lariat, that's a new one. Cover by Leon... 1... 2... No! Leon gets back up favouring his ribs as Spencer and Colin mock the injury behind his back. Leading Rico up by the hair, Leon puts him face-first into the top turnbuckle. Irish whip sends Rico into the opposite corner and Leon sets himself, getting in a deep breath before he launches with the SUPERMAN SPEAR in the corner! COLE Colin starting to look a little happier than Spencer on the outside. Off the ropes Leon aims at Rico staggering out of the corner, with a more traditional clothesline. Rico ducks though and catches Leon with a boot to the gut. Ribs hurt, Leon doubles up. Rico looks to scoop him up for a slam but Rodez floats up and over, landing on his feet. Spinning Rico around, Leon goes for a slam... but his ribs hamper him, allowing Rico a similar escape route. Rico kicks Leon in the gut again, before gutwrenching him up and over the shoulder into the Canadian Backbreaker! COLE Rico's got Leon up in The Body Lock! And we might see a submission here, which would be a major upset and not the first of this Battlebowl! But Leon manages to squirm out of the hold pretty quickly. Leon backs into a corner, waiting for Rico to get up. When he does, The Fallen Idol charges... but gets caught with a SPINEBUSTER!! COACH PARTYING LIKE IT'S 2005 AGAIN OH YEAH! Hook of the leg by Rico... 1... 2... Kickout! Stroking the porn 'stache, Rico senses the end with Rodez hurt. He loads Leon up again, trying to trap him back into The Body Lock. Leon slips out the back straight away this time... *SMACK!* ...and catches Rico with a flash superkick! Rico staggers, until Leon hits a clothesline and covers... 1... 2... NO! COLE Only two. And still the LDC Moneygang just stand and watch this unfold. Leon glares at Rico as he climbs back up, a dangerous look on his face. Spinning around, Leon aims with a Rolling Sobat, but Rico manages to deflect it and connect with a big right hand. Leon goes staggering backwards and Rico backs into the ropes. A double leg trip cuts Rico off though, worse to come as Leon turns him over into the LIONTAMER!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Got it! Locked in centre of the ring, I don't think Rico's got any escape here. As Leon places the knee in the back, it does look dire for Rico... ...until Spencer Reiger suddenly bundles Leon to the mat! COLE Wait a minute! With a sudden interest in the match Spencer goes to put the boots to Leon, which is when CMJ spins him around and asks him what the hell he's doing! And this time, the Moneygang's little téte a téte isn't any kind of play-acting. The crowd sense it and buzz, about to see Colin and Spencer come to blows. Or so they think. Meanwhile, Leon is back up. And he charges from behind... only for Spencer to sidestep, causing him to knock COLIN down. COACH Wrong man! Leon looks down and shows zero concern for Colin, as he turns back around, into a boot from Spencer. The Prodigy from NYC quickly hooks up the arms, looking to chalk one on on the REIGER COUNTE... NO! Leon backdrops out of it! COLE I guess the LDC Moneygang had more selfish intentions than they were letting on. Spencer wants to be in that Battlebowl battle royal, even if it's at Colin's expense, make no mistake. And I'm sure the same goes the other way around. COACH Yeah, but, it's nothing to come to blows over... I hope. The fresh Reiger is right back up and charging. Leon manages to sidestep and Spencer bounces off the ropes, causing a COLLISION OF HEADS between the two!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, right in the SKULL with the SKULL, SKULL to SKULL!! As Spencer flops against the bottom rope, Leon is scooped right back up by Rico, who strokes at the 'stache signalling for the end! Rico picks Leon up and prepares to take him on a MOUSTACHE RIDE... ...but before he can deliver, Colin reaches up and grabs Leon's foot, pulling him free! COLE How about that, Colin Maguire Jr. finally acting like a tag team partner tonight. Rico goes for a clothesline on CMJ, but gets caught and dumped with a HARDVARDPLEX! Dazed, Rico then makes the mistake of sitting on all fours, allowing Colin to drop down and lock in the Anaconda Choke! COLE Boston Strangler, he's got it locked in! Shaking off the cobwebs, Spencer makes a move. Whether he would have broken his regular partner's submission we won't know, as before he can get to it, Spencer is tripped up by Leon and placed in the LIONTAMER! COLE And dueling submissions now! Colin tightens up on the Strangler and suddenly catches a glimpse of Spencer in trouble, leaving him in two minds as to what to do... but the decision is made for him, as Rico taps out! *DINGDINGDING!* Both Colin and Leon quickly release their submissions, Colin to go help Spencer and Leon to get out of harm's way. He stares up at his partner for tonight with a cold look and no hint of thanks before stalking off to the back. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match advancing in the 2009 Battlebowl... COLIN MAGUIRE JR. and LEON RODEZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Leon Rodez and Colin Maguire Jr. going to Battlebowl, after maybe the worst show of tag team continuity from two teams we'll see in this competition. Leon clearly just happy to get out of here with the win. Colin helps Spencer up and ever the sore loser, Spencer is unhappy that Colin didn't come to his rescue. Colin insists that he didn't see what was going on, only to smirk when Spencer's out of eyeshot. They're as bad as each other! COLE Well, we promised you an announcement regarding Leon Rodez and Bohemoth after what happened last week, a sneak attack backstage by Leon on The Meterosexual Monster. [QUOTE=LAST WEEK ON HELDDOWN~!]COLE ...hang on, we're hearing that there's some sort of a commotion backstage. Let's get a camera back there. When we do, we find Bohemoth, laid out and screaming in pain with a heavy production equipment trunk trapped on his right leg. As he reaches back and tries to push it off of his leg, Leon Rodez runs across and boots him in the side of the head! A group of referees and suited officials rush into the scene and try to keep Leon back from doing more damage. BOHEMOTH AH! I'M GONNA GET YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH! Leon calmly walks past Bohemoth, picking up a WRENCH that 'just happened' to be lying beside him. And without a hint of a smile Leon walks off, while the various rescuers try to move the equipment trunk off of Bohemoth. COLE I don't believe this... and I can't believe I'm still saying that about Leon Rodez! What in the hell is he thinking!? It takes at least four of the officials to tip the trunk over, freeing Bohemoth's leg. He lays writhing in agony, as someone calls for some EMTs to be fetched.[/QUOTE] Footage plays of Bohemoth being wheeled away to an ambulance in the aftermath of the attack. COLE Well as you can see, Bohemoth had to be taken to a local medical facility to be checked out. Luckily, no lasting damage done to the left leg, but clearly a lot of pain inflicted. And we've been informed that the big announcement is, a match just signed by OAOAST officials for next week here on this show. Bohemoth will be medically fit to compete next week in Lincoln, Nebraska. One on one, a rematch from The Great Angle Bash, Leon Rodez versus Bohemoth. But this time, it will be a STRETCHER MATCH. COACH Wow. COLE That promises to be physical to say the least. And what a warm-up match that'll be, with both men having qualified for the Battlebowl Battle Royal the very next week in Chicago at the Chi-Town Spectacular. COACH They may have qualified, but one of them might not even make it to Chicago at this rate! COLE A big match, next week here on HeldDOWN~!