Rawknight

A small boy sits on Santa’s lap. Dressed in blue wrestling tights, with a basin haircut and painted on sideburns he looks the picture of youth and innocence, and shockingly like an 8 year old Tom Flesher. The big jolly man laughs and asks… Santa: What do you want to be when you grow up, sonny? Boy: I want to be… WORLD CHAMPION! The boy stands and walks off as “The Superior One” Tom Flesher stands behind the scene, looking on, maybe thinking about his lost youth, maybe just watching as Santa gets hit firmly across the throat with the MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUUUUUUUCKER, HO HO HO MY GOD IT’S THE NASTY EVIL MAORI LARIAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Va’aiga: BOO-YAH! Meanwhile Dace Night, John Duran and Terrence Bailey unwrap their presents… a new Weedwhacker! A new glass light tube! A new Equalizer! All hell breaks loose! Wildchild leaps off the top branches of a Christmas Tree! Erek Taylor and The Boston Strangler fight in a stable, Erek smashing a manger on the wall aimed at the Strangler’s head! A huge whole roster brawl erupts, bodies and seasonal paraphernalia flying EVERYWHERE! Tom Flesher walks in front of the camera and shrugs his shoulders Tom Flesher: Well… ‘tis the season …and joins in the brawl! THE SWF NO SELLS CHRISTMAS… AGAIN! DECEMBER 15th Contact your cable operator for details.

Based on my TINY JL knowledge. 1) Who, out of the currently active SJL roster, will be most remembered in the JL? Todd Royal. I dig the gimmick. 2) the WF? You can't forget Rando. Not without therapy *grins* 3) Who has the most potential to be something big if they worked a bit harder(answer different from one or two)? Korgath. I like Korgath when he shows. 4) And now...word association...SWF to SJL: Compare any WF superstar to any JL superstar... you may choose more than one... WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS~! 5) Would any two superstars currently in the JL (regardless of face/heel status) make a good tag team for the WF? (base this question on either ability or the meshing of styles/characters) Yeah I'll go with Royal/Maddix too. There based on my LIMITED knowledge that's my ideas.

of course if you're in the same bracket as Chaos.. if it's Chaos who uses Evan Karagias as his pic base.. if it's former GFWA Champion and Elite Player Chaos... you'll still win but it'll be harder. He's kicked my ass before. He was one of the recipients in the Night of Maori Drops. (Matt MacLean x 3, "Awesome" Adam King, Chaos, "Livewire" Sean Casey (who i'm giving the HARD SELL about this fed, and I hope he joins), Thorn (who may be joining this fed in december), Phobia... i think there was one more too.)

Following up to Tom. I'd happily rate Ejiro and Wildchild (INPO) as the #2 and #3 writers in the fed... following up to Tom As my point from the cruiserweight thread, don't compare our titles to the WWE. A title is as strong as it's booked, and we actually have some pretty damn groovy booking ideas (especially cos if the wrestlers book angles themselves the bookers go along with it and spend more time on other people) In other words Duran. you're looking for problems where their aren't any. Possibly your main flaw when looking at your OWN work too...

From the word count thread: "Couldn't finish. I did turn something in so it wouldn't count as an official no show. My apologies to Va'aiga, and everyone looking forward to the match. I just have too much damn school work this semster, and it's only gonna get worse until it's over. I tried to come back, but school wouldn't let me." Hopefully, next semester won't be as bad, and you can defiantly expect to see me back come December." The match was barely half way done, and I ran out of time just as I was getting to the build toward the finish. So i just tacked on a sudden pin to make it a complete match. Once again, I apologize for not giving you any competition. Besides, what I did have was rushed and underwhelming anyways. It's a shame i didn't compete against a full strength Danny match... i'd like to have seen how what i consider the best match i've ever wrote did. Still there's always Genesis V

Before I forget.. the spot i couldn't lever in, cos it didn't fit with the headhunting and stuff. Va'aiga grabs Danny Williams and fires another right cross into Deathwish's chest. Pushing down in the top of Danny's head, Va'aiga drives his opponent down to his knees. Adding a little knee strike to make sure Danny isn't moving, Va'aiga looks out into the crowd and smiles. The Maori Badass takes one deliberate pace back. Then a second. Then a pace to the side. Then a second. Va'aiga extends his arms in front of him and clasps his hands together, before looking up into the crowd, who give him a MASSIVE round of boos. Comet: What is Va'aiga doing? Riley: Well this is what Johnny Wilkinson the england Rugby star does before a... Comet: a what? Va'aiga CHRAGES IN AND PUNTS DANNY WILLIAMS HARD IN THE NUTSACK WITH A VICIOUS, VICIOUS KICK. Riley: A kick.

OK I won, I'd love to see what Danny wrote but MY GOD did I have to do my best. so far I've only skimmed the promos and the main event, and the finish of Janus vs Annie (Y). I'll post more deatiled comments when i'm done promoing ( promo won't be posted till US types get up though) And if YOU... YOU you miserable bastards... you didn't mark out like the bitches you are when Wildchild grabbed the big pin, I dunno what hope there is for you. I am your fairy Maorifather You WILL go to the main event. *sprinkles magic fairy dust over Wildchild* ... ... ... *it burns* BOO-YAH!

...and the rest is you slagging off people from the safe comfort of retirement? *LARIATS FROST!* 6598.. not enough but fucking good what i did write.

3500... looking for 7000... 3h15 to go, so prolly not but meh.

I want a poncho! And pan pipes! And a big floppy hat! A big floppy South American wicker hat!

Of course the correct way to promounce Golucester from the original is with a really bad south west english accent. SO think like a Pirate (the Piratical Aaaaaaar comes from that area) and repeat GLAAAAR-STIR GLAAAAR-STIR GLAAAAR-STIR Also for those about to visit the UK... Leicester is pronounced "LESS-ster" Worcester is pronounced "WOO-ster" Southwell in Nottinghamshire is pronounced "SUTH-ALL" and Derby is pronounced "Away in a manger no crib for a bed, the little lord Jesus looked up and he said, We hate DAR-bee and We hate DAR-bee. We hate DAR-bee and We hate DAR-bee. We hate DAR-bee and We hate DAR-bee, We are the DAR-bee haters, sheep sheep sheepshaggers AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Rocking... and you're right.. you DON'T need history. You know what would make me mark out. If we could get SOMETHING for every match. Then we could boil that down AGAIN into the intro package for the show.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH NOONE IN CHAT! NOONE! NOT EVEN MERC IDLING! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH

LARIAT YOUR OPPONENT TILL THEY TAP OUT ON THE MAT OUT OF FEAR FOR THEIR NECK That's Va'aiga's favourite submission. Go read my promos.

A lone figure. A black background. The striking features, highlighted by swirling tribal patterns tattooed permanently onto his face. The short black hair forming a border, framing the designs, framing the Moko. The wide hood of a black boxer’s robe covering the head, casting a dramatic shadow over the features. The rippling muscles, covered again in spirals and swirls, with the stylized smiling sun of Tama-nui-to-ra the sun god prominent on the left shoulder. Va’aiga: Danny Williams. A brief shot of Danny Williams, a proud figure, wiping the long dyed black hair past his shoulders as part of his ring entrance, then a quick cut back to the darkness, and the muscular intimidating form of the Maori Badass. Va’aiga: Legend. Cut to Danny Williams again, pinning TNT, pressing his shoulders down firmly to the mat as Mark Soapdish counts along. Cut back to the Maori, shrouded in the darkness. Va’aiga: Champion. Cut to Danny Williams, holding the ICTV belt proudly above his head in victory, as flashbulbs and cheers fly from all directions of the audience. Cut back to the Maori Badass again. Va’aiga: Mentor. Cut to Danny in the ring of the SJL Arena microphone held to his mouth, as he introduces the two wrestlers, Va’aiga clean shaven, goatee bearded, free of facial tattoos and Dace Night in jeans and a loose fitting Team Horrocore Football shirt, “DN” on the front, 666 on the back and each arm. Cut back to a close up of Va’aiga’s face, only the right side visible, as he spits with venom and hatred. Va’aiga: Liar. Cut to Va’aiga standing on the ring apron as Danny fires off elbows into Tom Flesher, popping the crowd and setting off another scramble from the photographers at ringside to get a better angle. Cut back to Va’aiga standing in the center of the camera, light rippling off his ripped physique. Va’aiga: You didn’t help me. Cut to Va’aiga Corkscrew Maori Dropping Jay Dawg onto a flaming section of canvas to win his debut match in the SWF and a Hardcore Gamers Title shot as well. Cut back to Va’aiga, closer this time, just his face and his upper chest showing on camera. Va’aiga: You barely ever said my name. Cut to Va’aiga driving Show down as his part of the Decapitator, as Quiz is left laying and Tom Flesher is being fought off by… The Boston Strangler. Cut to an EXTREME close up of Va’aiga his tattooed face filling the screen. Va’aiga: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT’S MYYYYYYYYYYY NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME? Cut to. BETRAYAL… HONOUR… RESPECT… DANNY WILLIAMS vs VA’AIGA… ASHES 2 ASHES.

Axis Voice Over: In the beginning there was the Unholy Trinity… Va’aiga leans over to Dace and forcefully tags the High Priest of Horrorcore, then moves back to Ejiro and peels the King of Rule off the canvas, whipping him into the ropes. Dace hobbles into the ring and assumes position to the left and in front of Va’aiga and as the Maori Badass grabs and turns Ejiro, powering Ejiro down to the canvas again with an inverted powerbomb, Dace fires off a stiff Axe Kick across the back of Ejiro’s neck with his good leg! Stevens: DECAPITATOR! DECAPITATOR! DECAPITATOR! Va’aiga rushes to the edge of the ring and stomps away on Judge’s hands as he tries to claw himself onto the apron to either distract Hebner or pull Dace out, but with Va’aiga guarding it’s a fruitless task, as Dace drops to cover Ejiro and Mark Hebner counts, joined by the unanimous voices of the packed crowd… ONE! TWO! THREE! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Stevens: THAT’S IT! IT’S OVER! IT’S FINALLY OVER! That’s the three count and the long undefeated reign of Justice and Rule is over! Axis Voice Over: They did the impossible. They shocked the world… Funyon: Your winners, and NEW SWF TAG TEAM CHAAAAAAAAAAAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD… VAAAAAAA’AIIIIIIGA AND DAAAAAAAAAACE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY! TRIN-ITY! The Goth and the Maori embrace each other, Tag Title Belts in their hands, as the crowd continue to chant for them. The pair in the ring raise the belts high into the air, the crowd cheers, cameras flash and we fade to commercials on this picture perfect moment. Axis Voice Over: But nobody expected what would happen when you don’t give a Maori the attention he believes he deserves… Text overlay: October 13, 2003 Va’aiga steps over to Dace Night and smiles, then turns to the crowd and grabs Dace’s arm, lifting it high into the air, to a massive cheer. The colour fades from the screen as this clip plays, washing it out to a faded red Va’aiga and Dace turn and pose, Dace still breathing heavily from his title match. Va’aiga turns to Dace and….wrenches Dace’s arm back across his own throat! Va’aiga ducks and steps forward, Torture Racking Dace across the back of his massive Maori shoulders and holding him there, Dace’s arm still locked over his own throat. Va’aiga jumps a little and falls to his side, dropping the Horrorcore One STRAIGHT DOWN, FROM OVER SIX FOOT UP VERTICALLY ONTO THE TOP OF HIS HEAD! The crowd is split between duelling “HOLY SHIT!” chants and a massive stadium wide round of boos. As the pounding beats and cynical lyrics of “Walk” by Pantera cut in as a backdrop the colour fades back in… Can’t you see I’m easily not bothered by persistence One step from lashing out at you Va’aiga knees over Dace, laid out on the canvas, and screams down into the semi conscious face of the Birmingham native, Screaming down over his fallen body… Va’aiga (VO): See smacking down Dace Night with the Stinger. That was the biggest step I’ve taken in my career. I needed to make a statement. Va’aiga grabs Wildchild with one arm and slings the cruiser across his chest effortlessly, extending his other arm out to give the thumbs down sign, as the arena explodes into boos. Va’aiga grabs a firm hold of Wildchild and walks him down to where a few members of the technical crew have stored some of the SWF’s equipment and jumps, MAORI DROPPING WILDCHILD ONTO A A FULL BOX OF CABLES! You want in to get under my skin and call yourself a friend I need more friends like you WHAT CAN I DO? Va’aiga (VO): What’s this brother meant to do? Wait for Danny Williams to decide I’m no longer needed? Va’aiga lifts CIA back up to his knees again, CIA’s head drooping and his body slightly swaying, as if blown by an invisible wind. Va’aiga this time just THROWS the chair at CIA’s head and the Canadian slumps down to the mat, the steel bouncing off CIA’s cranium with a sickening crash. IS THERE NO STANDARD ANY MORE What it is who I am where I’ve been belong Va’aiga (VO): Danny Williams was never there for the Maori. Va’aiga shrugs his shoulder again as Quiz, half aware of his surroundings crawls up and then stands, eyes glazed over, only there to intercept A SECOND BIG NASTY EVIL MAORI LAAAAARIAAAAAATOOOOOOOOO!! YOU CAN’T BE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT Be yourself by yourself stay away from me Danny Williams (VO): Looking back.............I could have done things a lot better. Smiling to himself, Va’aiga drags his dazed opponent to his feet, and pushes him against the ropes. Taking Danny by the wrist, Va’aiga whips him off the ropes, and takes position in the center of the ring! Instead of bouncing off the ropes, Williams stunningly leaps up on to the second rope, and springboards off! SMACK! Williams crashes into Va’aiga with a reverse elbow smash, causing both men to tumble to the mat! A lesson learned in life, known from the dawn of time RE! SPECT! WALK! WHADDA YA SAY? Va’aiga (VO): Danny Williams expected this brother to go out there and win titles IN HIS NAME. Va’aiga smashes the chair down over Dace night again and again, each time the sickening thud of steel on flesh echoing around the arena RE! SPECT! WALK! ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? ARE YOU TALKING TO ME????? Danny Williams (VO): I would like to think that if I was a little more involved, if I did things differently, things would be different.....but they wouldn’t be Before the big man can turn around, Williams hooks his arm under his chin, and jumps up on his back! Danny throws himself backwards, pulling Va’aiga down into a Doushime Sleeperhold! Knowing that this is a potential match ender, the Hawaiian crowd goes ecstatic! Va’aiga (VO): Danny Williams would take the glory of me and Dace and twist it into his own gain. Soapdish is still a mess, and it’s up to anyone’s guess as to just what the hell did he actually see. Va’aiga leans deep into the ropes, carefully eyeing Williams up. Holding his lower abdomen in pain, Danny gingerly stands up, when... SMAAAAAACK! Va’aiga decapitates him with a thunderous Lariat! Run your mouth when I’m not around it’s easy to acheive You cry to weak friends that sympathise Danny Williams (VO): I always thought he had the potential to be great, that’s why I hand picked him With his last breath, a weary Danny Williams viciously rams his thumbs into Va’aiga’s eyes! Va’iaga uncharacteristically screams in pain, releasing Williams so that he can wipe the stinging out of his eyes! Rolling around on the mat like he’s on fire, Va’aiga frantically rubs his watering eyes, while Williams coughs and gags like he’s gonna puke, struggling to replenish his lungs with precious oxygen. Can’t you hear the violins playing your song Those same friends tell me your every word Va’aiga (VO): But I ain’t taking that shit no more. In a disturbing sight, Va’aiga begins relentlessly slamming the steel chair into the lifeless body of Danny Williams! IS THERE NO STANDARD ANY MORE?? What it is who I am where I’ve been belong Danny Williams (VO): there’s only been one person who’s remained loyal to me, and kept his word, and that’s Dace Fucking Night! Helping Dace to his feet, blood pouring from his face and down his body. Danny helps his student and team mate towards the waiting EMTs as he looks back over his shoulder at the vanishing sight of Va’aiga. YOU CAN’T BE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT Be yourself by yourself stay away from me Va’aiga (VO): WHAT’S MY NAME, DANNY? Dace liquefies Va’aiga’s face with a nasty Yakuza Kick! But shockingly, Va’aiga absorbs the blow, and brings the steel chair down across Dace’s head anyway! SMAAAAAAAACK! Dace goes down like a sack of bricks! Turning his attention back to Danny, Va’aiga once again, shows no mercy, by beating him with the steel chair over and over again! But he ceases the assault, when out of nowhere, a bloody Dace compassionately crawls on top of his broken mentor’s body! A lesson learned in life, known from the dawn of time Danny Williams (VO): You’re damn straight there’ll be a retaliation Williams momentarily pauses at the ring steps. He looks up at the nightmarish creature that awaits him, doubting if he is capable of defeating such a monster. Refusing to let something as insignificant as fear get the best of him, Williams swallows hard, and blindly rushes into the ring like a suicide victim jumping to his death. RE! SPECT! WALK! WHADDA YA SAY? Va’aiga (VO): WHAT’S MY NAME? Va’aiga brings the chair down across the back of Dace’s so hard, that is shatters it breaks it apart! RE! SPECT! WALK! ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? ARE YOU TALKING TO ME????? Danny Williams (VO) Va’aiga’s gonna find out that pushing me off my pedestal isn’t as easy as it seems Va’aiga (VO): WHAT’S MY NAME? NO WAY PUNK! Fade to black, as the music fades out and text comes across the screen, each line punctuated by the thump of a drum beat. BETRAYAL… HONOUR… RESPECT… DANNY WILLIAMS vs VA’AIGA… ASHES 2 ASHES.

It would be cool, but to the Maori copying ANYTHING Australian would be about as bad as finding the aggreement for emancipation of the native population of new zealand, pissing on it, setting it on fire and fueling the flames with the gastric gasses of a massive fart. Also about as, if not slightly less likely as Z, Tod and CIA doing a Trio version of God Bless America wearing Gringos Locos style Stars and Stripes suits.

You do realise that Va'aiga, a staunch New Zealander and rugby fan is going to be appearing in front of a MASSIVE Australian crow, about 4 hours after the Australia vs New Zealand Rugby World Cup Semi Final. If the All Blacks win I EXPECT to get loudest boos of the night, just by coming out in an All Blacks jersey. EDIT: Freudian fucking typos. I'll get you yet, Bird-man. *shakes fist*

I SO TOTALLY call PPV promo time.

Two Returning Stars... One Title Shot... Annie "Ichiban" Onita versus Janus Hardcore Gamers #1 Contender - No DQ Annie is the Hardcore Queen after all. The Master Of Sickness... The Master Of Sin... Dace "F'n" Night versus "The Sinner" John Duran ICTV #1 contenders Sorry Duran, I'm not backing against the Brummie A Man Possesed... A Man Betrayed... "Deathwish" Danny Williams versus Va'aiga No Disqualification No prediciton, but if I lose you motherfuckers best goddamn read AND COMMENT on my match on the losers thread, ya hear? A Friendship Offered... A Freindship Destroyed... Bastion versus Xstasy Fall Count Anywhere - But with DQ's HOSSORESU~! Friends And Rivals... Enemies and Turncoats... Technicians and Monsters... The Main Event To End All Main Events... TOM FLESHER, THE BOSTON STRANGLER, WILDCHILD, AND JOHNNY DANGEROUS VS EREK TAYLOR, MICHAEL CRAVEN, "JUDGE MENTAL" WILLIAM HEARFORD, AND EJIRO FASAKI! Eight Man Elimination Tag Ok given the company I would SO mark out for Wildchild being the only survivor!

Two Returning Stars... One Title Shot... Annie "Ichiban" Onita versus Janus Hardcore Gamers #1 Contender - No DQ The Master Of Sickness... The Master Of Sin... Dace "F'n" Night versus "The Sinner" John Duran ICTV #1 contenders A Man Possesed... A Man Betrayed... "Deathwish" Danny Williams versus Va'aiga No Disqualification A Friendship Offered... A Freindship Destroyed... Bastion versus Xstasy Fall Count Anywhere - But with DQ's Friends And Rivals... Enemies and Turncoats... Technicians and Monsters... The Main Event To End All Main Events... TOM FLESHER, THE BOSTON STRANGLER, WILDCHILD, AND JOHNNY DANGEROUS VS EREK TAYLOR, MICHAEL CRAVEN, "JUDGE MENTAL" WILLIAM HEARFORD, AND EJIRO FASAKI! Eight Man Elimination Tag

If you need a partner Natasha's still around somewhere. Oh not THAT sort of partner...

I Lost. Boooooo There are promos, including Annie! YAAAAY! That is all.. so far

::ANYONE who says the cool as fuck proper Budokan entrances were too long and that's why I lost gets lariated. I was REALLY happy with this match, but that could be cos it was fun to write.:: As SWF Smarkdown returns from its first commercial break of the night, the camera is already focused on Funyon in the middle of Budokan Hall, ready to introduce the competitors for the first match. Then the arena goes dark. "WHAT'S MY NAME?!" The bassline of "Bring The Pain" by Method Man strikes up, and the crowd immediately begins to boo the Maori before the "Haka Te Ra" plays over the booming bass. Red strobe lights flash on Va'aiga as he emerges through the curtain, doing a little shadowboxing. The action-filled SmarkTron continues through its motions, as the robe-clad Badass walks down the ramp. Comet: And we're back on SWF Smarkdown, citizens of Earth, as we are ready to give you the opening match on the card tonight! Riley: Do you mind? Anyway, the commissioner has decided to throw together Va'aiga and John Duran against Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous. God knows what is up with those two, but this should promise to be a good match nonetheless. Va'aiga enters the ring, going to the ring ropes facing the camera, hanging over the top rope and yelling out a booming "Hi!," his tongue hanging out clearly. The Maori then steps away from the ropes, going to the corner and waiting for his partner. He doesn't have to wait long, as "Sinner" by Drowning Pool immediately kicks in, the crowd continuing to lay on the thick amount of boos as Duran storms through the curtain, looking as determined as ever to reverse his fortunes as of late, moving down the ramp briskly. Riley: Comet, there is no doubt in my mind that this team of Va'aiga and John Duran could be a force to be reckoned with, if they just had the tactics of a team. Comet: Oh, there's no doubt about it, but it's being a team that counts, and Va'aiga and Duran aren't quite on the same page like Justice and Rule are. Besides, after being left behind in Sinquizition, I think "The Sinner" has had enough of the tag scene for right now. The lights go out once again in the Budokan Hall, and the Tokyo air is filled with the infectious beats of Redman's "Let's Get Dirty," with a flashing spotlight following Wildchild as closely as possible as he bolts down to the ring, somersaulting into the ring and making sure to get away from Duran and Va'aiga as soon as possible, not wanting to start this match on an unfair note. The fans are mostly cheering for the Human Hurricane, but there are some fans in the crowd who now don't exactly know how to treat Wildchild due to recent events. The 'Bomber keeps his eye on the Maori and "The Sinner." "Johnny Dangerous!" The sultry voice fades as the lights dim, and "After The Flesh" by My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult booms through the speakers and out to the crowd. Smoke fills the entranceway, and the fans are mostly silent until Johnny steps through the smoke, strobe lights flashing and looking pumped up. This gets the Japanese fans excited as well, as some of them play along with the super-spy. Johnny enters the ring, mounting a far turnbuckle and raising his hands into the air. Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is a tag team bout scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Rotorua, Aotearoa, weighing in at 309 pounds...VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ING-UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Va’aiga takes a step forward and turns, throwing off his robe, his tongue hanging out, staring wildly into the crowd. Va’aiga gets a massive round of boos for the announcement. Va’aiga steps back into this corner to be checked down by referee Eddy Long. Funyon: And his tag team partner, hailing from Champaign, Illinois, and weighing in at 265 pounds, he is THE SINNER...JOHN...DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Duran takes a step forward and throws the crowd an imperious look as they boo again. A few scattered calls for Wildchild and Johnny float down from the crowd as Duran steps back and touches fists with Va’aiga. Eddy Long pats down Duran as well, and finding no weapons he moves across the ring. Funyon: And their opponents, introducing first, from the Bahamas, weighing in at 214 pounds, he is the Bahama Bomber...WILD-CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD! Wildchild steps forward and raises his arms as from all directions yellow and pale blue streamers, the colours of his native land, rain down from all sides of the Budokan Hall and fill the ring. Ring crew workers hussle to clear them away as Wildchild steps back into his corner and gets patted down. Funyon: And his tag team partner, weighing in at 217 pounds, from Las Vegas, Nevada...JOHNNY DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEROUS! Black and silver streamers rain down from on high, covering the ring and Johnny as he steps forward and throws off his trenchcoat, handing his shades to the ring assistant. Wildchild claps as the crowd start a little “JOHN-E!” chant going. Eddy Long finishes checking Johnny and nods an OK. Comet: Citizen Robert, it will surely be interesting to see how Wildchild and Johnny interact with each other, as I still think the trust for Johnny remains at a minimum in the eyes of Wildchild. Riley: Hopefully those two will become so paranoid that John Duran and Va'aiga will take over and single both of them out, winning this match and putting the mere idea of Wild and Dangerous to bed once and for all. Johnny goes over to the friendly corner, quickly forming up some ideas for their own strategy, as Duran and Va'aiga both seem ready to throw down and fight. Soon, Johnny and Wildchild get their act together as well, and the referee turns to ring the bell as the Dangerous One and the Sinner step into the middle of the ring. Eddy Long signals for the bell… *DING DING DING* Comet: And live from the Budokan Hall, we’re under way! Johnny Dangerous and John Duran lock up in the middle of the ring, Duran quickly overpowering the former Secret Agent and forcing Johnny down to his knees. Duran releases the knuckle locks and rushes a step forward, looking to hit a knee lift into the kneeling Dangerous One, but Johnny counters, sliding his legs through Duran’s and hitting a quick drop toe hold. Johnny kips up and goes for a quick elbow drop on the grounded Duran, but the Sinner rolls away. Duran hops to his feet and goes for a quick elbow drop on Johnny, but the Barracuda rolls away. Both men hop to their feet and stare off to a ripple of applause from both the crowd and Wildchild. Comet: Quick start from the Barracuda, back on the side of the righteous. Riley: Neither man grabbed an advantage there, did they Comet? Comet: Not really, no. Riley: Then why call for Johnny? You’re showing that bias again. Comet: My views ALWAYS stand on the side of the righteous. Riley: You’re just unprofessional. While the commentators bicker the Barracuda leaps off his feet and staggers Duran backwards with a picture perfect dropkick. Johnny closes in and hits a LIGHTNING fast roundhouse to the ribs, roundhouse to the ribs, spinning back kick combination, and while facing away form Duran, Johnny takes a step backwards and slides a leg in behind the wobbling Duran’s hitting a quick Russian leg sweep! Johnny pops back to his feet to a massive “JOHN-E!” chant, runs his hand back through his hair, turns and points at his corner. The crowd lets out a MASSIVE cheer and as Johnny walks over and tags in his Bahaman ally, the crowd busts out a “WHYYY-CHYYY-DUH!” chant! Comet: The fans here going crazy for Citizen Wildchild. Riley: The fans here are crazy. Somewhere in Tokyo there’s an asylum with some VERY bored porters today. Hey, maybe we can swap the crowd for Janus! Wildchild leaps into the ring over the ropes and poses, throwing a hand sign to the crowd, and getting a scream from the women in the audience. Duran gets to his feet only to be caught by the onrushing Bahaman, chest protector first with a cross body! Duran drops to the mat… ONE! TWO! And Duran kicks out. Wildchild backs off and spins, posing for the crowd, earning a HUGE pop from the appreciative audience. Wildchild bounces off the ropes and drops a rolling senton on Duran, rolling through and popping to his feet. From the standing position Wildchild flips backwards with a standing moonsault, landing chest protector first on Duran again! Wildchild hooks a leg… ONE! TWO! …and Duran kicks out. Comet: Wildchild using his speed to run rings round the far slower John Duran. Riley: He’s using that chest protector! Comet: It’s an approved object, therefore it’s not cheating, therefore it’s fine in the book of the Comet, Robert. Wildchild picks Duran up and whips the 260lber into the ropes, but the Maori Badass makes a blind tag, slapping Duran on the back. Wildchild catches Duran with a forearm then rushes the ropes again, catching Duran and taking him down with a flying forearm. Duran drops to the mat like a rock, and Wildchild covers but Eddy Long refuses to count, signalling the tag. Wildchild stands again and takes a step away from Duran, allowing the Sinner to roll out of the ring. Comet: the Bahama Bomber getting the best of the Sinner. Sin never wins in the book of Cyclone Comet. Riley: Bah, Duran’s size would have allowed him to take over on Wildchild with little problem, and now Wildchild has the slightly LARGER problem of the Maori! Va'aiga emerges from the corner with a wicked smile on his face, waiting for his considerably smaller opponent to make the first move, apparently. And take the first move Wildchild certainly does, as he charges across the ring, the chest protector looking like a flash of light as he zooms across the ring, leaping into the air and twisting his body to hit a running leg lariat! And it connects! ...But Va'aiga barely moves an inch! In fact, the Maori Badass twists his mouth into a crooked smile as Wildchild gets up, showing the crowd that his leg lariat had done a whole bunch of nothing. Comet: Ouch, Wildchild is going to have to do a lot more than that if he wants to win this match! Riley: That's an understatement. He might need the entire Bahaman army! Comet: They have one? Riley shrugs. As soon as the Bahama Bomber reaches his feet again, Va'aiga unleashes a right jab that connects with Wildchild's jaw, sending him reeling back towards his corner. The Maori keeps him away from the friendly corner, however, grabbing the Hardcore champion's left arm and forcefully whipping him back into the corner. The referee has his eye on Duran, so "The Sinner" doesn't try anything funny when Wildchild comes into the corner and bounces out--WITH AUTHORITY!--right back towards Va'aiga, who bends down, scooping the cruiserweight in his arms and turning him upside down, pointing him down towards the mat head first, letting the blood rush to the head before slamming Wildchild down onto his back! Va'aiga then gets down into the Tropical Tumbler's face and screams "WHAT'S MY NAME?!," which the fans promptly boo the Maori Badass for. Riley: What an excellent high angle bodyslam there by Va'aiga, I don't care how much of a chest protector you have; you need a crash pad to get over that move! Comet: Right you are, Citizen Robert, but that doesn't change the fact that the chest protector is there, and for some of the moves that Duran and Va'aiga are prone to pull out, they might not matter that much. Of course, Wildchild is much weaker than Johnny Dangerous when you keep him away from the ropes, so keeping Wildchild isolated might be the key to this match going in Duran and Va'aiga's favor! Va'aiga bends down and brings Wildchild up off his feet, marching him over to the unfriendly corner and tagging in John Duran! Va'aiga keeps a hold of the Bahama Bomber by his tied-back braids, as Duran steps through the ropes, and proceeds to give Wildchild a right jab of his own! The referee tells Va'aiga to get out of the ring, a command which Va'aiga complies with after Duran hits yet another right jab on the defenseless Wildchild. Duran takes over the offensive duties, replacing Va'aiga's hand on the braids with his own, and then leaning back for a moment before coming charging back into Wildchild's field of vision, slamming his hard head against the Human Hurricane's, connecting with a hard headbutt, putting Wildchild into the turnbuckle! However, Duran seems to have been affected by the headbutt as much as Wildchild! He stumbles over to the far neutral corner, bringing the referee over to check on what could possibly be a head injury! Comet: This does not look like a good situation for Citizen Duran. Riley: I don't understand why he went for the headbutt if there was the prospect of him getting hurt anyway--wait, look at this! Comet: What is Va'aiga doing? Va'aiga has come over and wrapped his meaty hand around the small Wildchild's neck, choking him out in the corner with nowhere to go, and the ref's back turned, tending to Duran's "injury". Comet: Citizen Robert, I think Duran's injury was not really an injury! I think he's distracting the ref! Riley: Of course he is! But look at Va'aiga go! I wouldn't be surprised to see Wildchild pass out sooner or later. But Wildchild is doing his best to try and fight it off, kicking and flailing as Va'aiga tries to choke him out. Finally, Va'aiga releases the choke and Duran is miraculously cured, as Wildchild takes a seat on the mat in the corner to regain his breath, the crowd continuing to boo the bad guys, the referee back on the job after that temporary distraction. Comet: How dastardly of Citizen Duran to fake an injury for the sake of getting the upper hand? What's going to happen when Citizen Duran actually gets injured? Riley: Please, Comet. Against Dangerous and Wildchild? I don't think the life insurance companies are celebrating just yet. Va’aiga looks down at Wildchild, sitting recuperating on the mat, and sneers. The Maori rushes Wildchild and blasts his knee into the Human Hurricane’s face, sending him reeling backwards across the canvas. Va’aiga stomps away at Wildchild firing big Maori boot after big Maori boot into the beached Bahaman. Va’aiga hoists Wildchild up by the braids and holds the cruiserweight’s face inches from his own. The Maori Badass cranks his neck back and unwinds, blasting his stone like forehead into Wildchild’s and sending the Bahama Bomber back down to the mat. Riley: Va’aiga as ever unafraid to use his head! Comet: I’m not sure what Citizen Va’aiga‘s skull is made of, but it looks like it hurts. Riley: Imagine running your head crashing against a brick wall. Now imagine the brick wall is moving. Now imagine the brick wall is in a bad mood. That’s Va’aiga. The Maori Badass grabs a sold hold of Wildchild’s arm and slings him across the ring, sending Wildchild full pelt into the Maori’s home corner. Wildchild hits the rig post chest protector first, and the Bahaman bounces out, only to be CRUSHED back into the corner with a vicious tackle! Wildchild’s head bounces off the turnbuckle, sending his neck back with a sickening snap as Va’aiga tags in John Duran again and the Sinner steps into the ring. Riley: Va’aiga and John Duran are isolating Wildchild, like a good tag team should. Even with that rule bending chest protector, Wildchild is taking a HECK of a lot of punishment. Comet: Wildchild NEEDS that chest protector. He’s still got cracked ribs underneath there and I’m not sure I’d want to face the Maori and that VICIOUS Maori Drop with my ribs damaged. Riley: If I had damaged ribs I’d be back in the Bahamas, relaxing on the beach and sipping on a Banana Bomb. Va’aiga stares at Duran and Duran gives a little crooked smile back. Wildchild, still stunned from the crash head first into the turnbuckles isn’t fully aware of what’s going on as Duran and Va’aiga position themselves either side of the Bahaman and smash him with a LETHAL SANDWICHING DOUBLE HEADBUTT! Wildchild drops down to the canvas in a crumpled heap and Va’aiga and Duran stare at each other… AND HEADBUTT EACH OTHER! Both men take a step backwards and pose! Va’aiga: BOO-YAH! Duran: NUMBER ONE! And the crowd EXPLODES in a unanimous chorus of boos. Comet: Ummm… ouch? Riley: Two heads are better than one, Comet. Duran drops to cover… ONE! TWO! TH.. and Wildchild kicks out. The tenacious cruiserweight hauls himself to his feet as Duran stalks around him, ready to pounce. Duran locks his arm TIGHT around the neck of Wildchild and falls backwards, dropping the Human Hurricane down HARD on his head. Riley: DDT! DDT! Duran holds on to the side headlock and stands slowly, bringing Wildchild up with him and pointing his number one sign to the sky, showing his ultimate goal and wrestling and earning a vicious round of catcalls and jeers as he SMASHES Wildchild head first down to the mat again! Duran covers and Eddy Long drop to count… ONE! TWO! TH… and Wildchild kicks out again. Frustrated, Duran reaches over to his corner, dragging Wildchild over there, still holding onto the headlock and giving Wildchild one last Crossface punch before reaching out and tagging Va’aiga. Duran holds on and drives Wildchild down to the mat with a THIRD vicious DDT before stepping out of the ring. Riley: That has to sting. Win or lose Wildchild is going to wake up with a major league headache tomorrow morning. Comet: The Sinner and The Maori Badass working on the head and neck of Wildchild. Headhunting is always a death or glory tactic, it’s attacking the most protected part of the body, but it’s the most damage you can cause. I fear that if Citizen Wildchild can’t tag out it’s all over. Va’aiga drags Wildchild up by his arm and slingshots the Bahaman into the ropes with a vicious Irish Whip. Waildchild comes careering off the ropes out of control and Va’aiga ducks, looking for a big back body drop… but Wildchild gets a leg up and places it across the back of Va’aiga’s neck, jumping a little and DRIVING VA’AIGA DOWN FACE FIRST INTO THE CANVAS!!!! Comet: CARRIBEAN CUTTER! CARRIBEAN CUTTER! CARRIBEAN CUTTER! This could be a way back into the match for Wildchild. As quick as a flash Wildchild gets to his feet and he weighs up the situation, Va’aiga struggling back to his feet. The crowd starts a MASSIVE MASSIVE “WYY-CHYYY-DUH!” chants as Wildchild ascends the turnbuckles and hits the top rope. Va’aiga slowly gets to his feet and turns to face Wildchild, as the Bahama Bomber leaps off the top rope with a trademark crossbody and… THE MAORI BADASS CATCHES HIM!!!! Riley: Here we go… Wildchild is trapped across Va’aiga’s chest… you know what that means! The crowd noise dies, with a few scattered catcalls and boos for Va’aiga as he stops Wildchild’s comeback dead. Va’aiga grimaces and turns Wildchild round slowly, keeping the Bahaman held against his chest as he stops, pauses, looks around one last team and LEAPS, dropping Wildchild down HARD back first into the canvas! Riley: THE MAORI DROP! IT’S OVER! IT’S OVER! …buuuuut Va’aiga doesn’t cover as he rolls away clutching his chest! The crowd noise builds again with Va’aiga lying prone on the mat clutching his ribs as Wildchild edges his way towards his corner. The crowd starts chanting “JOHN-E! JOHN-E!” as the Bahama Bomber edges closer to his tag team partner! Comet: NO! IT’S NOT OVER! Citizen Va’aiga hit a picture perfect Maori Drop, but he wasn’t considering the pressure of that chest protector on his ribs! Can Wildchild tag out? Riley: Find out after this commerc… oh I’m kidding. The crowd are going crazy like a mad dog as Wildchild edges his way towards his corner. The life is sucked out of them briefly as Va’aiga reaches up and tags in Duran, but as Duran screams his way across the ring and grabs Wildchild’s leg, the Bahama Bomber flips his other leg free and cracks John Duran across the skull with an Enzuigiri! Wildchild dives and TAGS IN JOHNNY DANGEROUS!!!!! Comet: AND CITIZEN DANGEROUS IS IN! THIS MATCH HAS BEEN TURNED ON ITS HEAD Johnny Dangerous leaps into the ring and charges at the now standing Duran, PLANTING him with a sweet dropkick. Duran stands again slowly and carefully and Johnny fires off a beautiful Spinning Heel Kick, sending Duran FLYING to the mat! The crowd’s chants of “JOHN-E! JOHN-E!” build as the Barracuda charges at Duran, giving the big man time only to get to his knees and plants the kneeling Sinner with a flying side kick!! Duran drop down to the canvas, sparked out as Johnny turns to the crowd and poses, to a CRAZY pop. Comet: Johnny Dangerous large and in charge. Riley: Well in charge I agree with. Comet: Figure of speech, Robert. Johnny Dangerous lifts Duran off the mat and walks him towards the corner where his partner is standing. Johnny slaps his thigh a couple of times and STINGS Duran with a vicious superkick to the face, sending Duran REELING into the corner where Wildchild is waiting. The Barracuda points skywards and the crowd goes BALLISTIC! Comet: JOHNNY KICK! And It looks like the Dangerous One has something else planned… Johnny Dangerous tags in Wildchild and the crowd seems split between duelling chants of “JON-E! JON-E!” and “WYY-CHYY-DUH!” WYY-CHYY-DUH!” Wildchild climbs slowly up to the top rope as Johnny lifts John Duran up into the electric chair position, walking him over to Wildchild. Wildchild extends an arm out, looking to wrap it round Duran’s neck as Va’aiga leaps out of his corner to try to break the move up! Eddy Long is powerless to do anything as Wildchild reaches out for Duran… BUT VA’AIGA BARRELS INTO THE ROPE, KNOCKING WILDCHILD FROM HIS PERCH AND CROTCHING THE BAHAMAN STAR! Va’aiga bounces off the ropes and crashes through Johnny with the VICIOUS, ILL TEMPERED, TRULY WILD, TRULY DANGEROUS, TRULY ONE OF THE MOST LETHAL MOVES IN THE FEDERATION… Riley: LAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Comet: Va’aiga with the Lariat. Riley: It’s the Nihon Budokan Hall. I always wanted to do that! Johnny CRASHES to the mat, Duran landing on him in a vertical splash, the Dangerous One seemingly semi conscious having been brained with the Lariat. Despite Eddy Long’s protests, Va’aiga turns to the crotched Wildchild and lifts the Bahaman onto his shoulders, Electric Chair style. John Duran gets up off the mat and steps into position, and as the Maori Badass brings Wildchild down over his head with an Electric Chair Inverted Powerbomb, Duran fires a STIFF axe kick into the back of Wildchild’s battered skull. Va’aiga turns to Eddy Long and screams out… Va’aiga: COUNT, MOTHERFUCKER! Riley: THE DECAPITATOR! VA’AIGA AND JOHN DURAN BUST OUT THE DECAPITATOR! …and as John Duran flips Wildchild over and hooks a leg, Eddy Long reluctantly has to do what the Maori Badass commands, by both the laws of wrestling and the 1st rule of SWF survival :“Don’t fuck with the Maori” ONE! TWO! THREE! Va’aiga grabs John Duran and raises his hand as Eddy Long signal for the bell. The Badass and the Sinner pose, hands raised, and screaming out an answer to the hate laced boos of the capacity Budokan crowd. Va’aiga: SCREW ALL OF YOU! KA VA’AIGA, KA TE TOA! Riley: He’s right. Va’aiga IS the winner. And sound tactics triumph over sound morals again. Comet: There’s no excuse for that level of cheating, Robert. Riley: No excuse, only the thrill of victory. And folks, We’ll be back after the break for more SWF action!

/me amz teh givingz teh r3sp3ct to teh pr0m0