River City Rocker

"Come on, honey, oral sex is awesome! Stop crying and get down there! I didn't cry when I did it to you!" -Ben

Ben McClellan

"My name is Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht." "Again!" That one was great. There was also a pretty good feud between Speedy Gonzales and Daffy Duck from the 1960s. Occasionally, Sylvester got involved with it. Like someone else said, too bad they can't be shown on television anymore! Fucking PC bastards... I also remember the one cartoon where Bugs Bunny took on Wile E. Coyote. I guess for balance, there should've been one where Daffy pursued the Roadrunner. Probably too late now. Bonus reference: Wile E. Coyote's cameo on Night Court. -Ben, who can't wait for the DVD sets next week.

Hey, did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? They're makin' headlines! (ducks)

Night Court (I've heard they're going to make box sets out of this show, though..) Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. Slowly but surely, this series will eventually be released, either through Rhino or Guthy-Renker's ongoing co-promotion. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like every single episode will be released...which isn't really a bad thing, since the show really went downhill in the last season or two. The ultimate pipe dream for DVD box sets are the complete MST3K, but that'll never happen. If it was possible, it would be expensive as hell, and would probably cost millions (to purchase the rights to use certain films) just to compile... -Ben

That would be SHE. Sean Shannon came out as a transsexual some time ago. Really. I try checking out Sean's site every so often. I always get the impression that it's basically an ongoing suicide note... As for Keith, I don't have much to say about him, apart from enjoying his PPV rants. Although I have to wonder how much longer he'll go (and how much worse the WWE product will get) before he finally quits. -Ben

You know something? Eve showed ruthless aggression to Adam when she made him bite that apple... -Ben

Yep. I quit caring when Florida advanced. Season's over for me as far as I'm concerned. So I hope Fox is prepared for not-so stellar ratings, especially if the Yankees come back tomorrow. -Ben

http://www.renegadesbaseball.com/ This is the team that the article said Steve Bartman helped coach. The site is "down for improvements". Suuuuuuure! -Ben

Unfortunately, it's going to end in the worst possible way imaginable. Yes, no one could've said at the beginning of the postseason that the World Series would be between the Yankees and the Marlins. ... But who WANTED that anyway? NOT ME! And I can safely assume that neither does Fox. Then again, I'm almost not looking forward to the game tonight, since we could see the Cubs further self-destruct, and we send the wild card team to the World Series to get beaten by New York. So, instead of the curse being broken for either Chicago or Boston, we see George Steinbrenner crowing about how superior his team is (again). Then, the ratings tank, and we'll probably have Bud Selig talking about folding teams and whatnot to "save the game". But what can you do? The commissioner of baseball is just a hired hand for the owners. He has no real power. The last time a commissioner showed too much independence, the owners had him removed.

Wha wha WHAT? I could've sworn this wasn't due out until next Februrary! Well, if it's been released, my plans for today have changed! Screw the Cubs game! -Ben

This is probably the only character on that list that was deliberately designed to be annoying. And trust me, I do get creeped out by Lily Tomlin's portrayal of Ernestine whenever I watch Laugh-In reruns. I don't know if it's the face, or the grating voice, but man! "A gracious good afternoon, is this the party to whom I am speaking? This is Ms. Tomlin from the phone company..." And I'm probably the only one who'll mention Ernestine, right? LAUGH-IN!! -Ben

Let me go on record in saying that normally I don't believe in curses or black magic, but after watching the Cubs collapse like that...well, maybe there really is some kind of hex. Of course, if Dusty Baker had pulled Mark Prior sooner than he did, we might not be having a game 7, will we? But knowing Chicago's luck, it'll be a Yankees-Marlins World Series after tomorrow night. Don't even get me started on that fan, either.

G.G. Allin. Does anyone take this guy seriously, aside from his very small cult of fans who seemed to be as sincerely fucked up as Allin himself? Will he ever be remembered as more than "the guy who shits onstage and then eats it"? I highly doubt it. Seems that his "talent" was his obvious mental illness fueled by massive substance abuse and a general hatred of everything in sight, right? Basically, a criminal psychopath who happened to record a lot of shitty punk rock, as opposed to the tough punk rocker who had more than a few run-ins with the law.

The FIFTH time?!! Best quit, kiddo. You're probably never going to get the hang of it by now. -Ben

It'll be a co-main event: Shane vs. HHH, and then Vince jerking off in the center of the ring while ranting about how he rules wrestling, yadda yadda yadda. You know its inevitable. Vince becoming a full blown, legitmate psychopath will definitely be aired on pay per view or on RAW. -Ben

The 9/13 Smackdown. Two days after the worst terrorist attack in history, Vince McMahon decides that the WWF was a key factor in America "getting back to normal". I never knew wrestling was such a big part of the American identity, did you? Of course, there was Stephanie's comments, which I think pissed off everyone. Makes me wonder if Vince really did raise his kids to believe that the U.S. government are really terrorist in suits. Either that, or Stephanie is truly a damn moron.... -Ben

Go Cubs! Now, all we need are the Yankees eliminated in four straight... -Ben

She caught the Katy And left me a mule to ride She caught the Katy And left me a mule to ride Now my baby caught the Katy Left me a mule to ride The train pulled out I swung on behind Crazy 'bout her That hard headed woman of mine Man, my baby's long Great gosh almighty my baby's tall You know my baby's long Great gosh almighty my baby's tall Yeah my baby she's long My baby she's tall She's sleepin' with her head in the kitchen And her feet's out in the hall Crazy 'bout her That hard headed woman of mine Well I love my baby She's so fine But I wish she'd come and see me some time She don't believe in our love, ah Look whatta hole I'm in She don't believe what I'm sayin' Kid look whatta shape I'm in Huh-huh She caught the Katy And left me a mule to ride She caught the Katy And left me a mule to ride Well my baby caught the Katy Left me a mule to ride The train pulled out I swung on behind Crazy 'bout that hard headed woman Hard headed woman of mine Huh-huh, huh-huh

I still don't understand why ECW let Mancow and his two buddies even come out. Nobody outside of the Chicago area (and the few cities that his show is syndicated in) would've gotten the point. Besides, I don't even think Mancow had even watched a minute of ECW programming before he became friends with Raven right after he left WCW. -Ben

ECW's Anarchy Rulz '99 in Chicago. I was there live. It was pretty funny. What was even funnier was the crowd booing local shock jock Mancow Muller out of the building after he came out to congratulate Raven. -Ben

Brazil. By far. You might have heard a story about Universal refusing to release that film at first because they had such a problem with the way the film ended. -Ben

Yeah, but at a house show in Fargo? Realistically, shouldn't Shane get his win back on RAW, or a pay per view? -Ben

Ah yes, the annual appearance of the Sid-shitting-himself-in-the-ring story on TSM. I knew it was inevitable. I'm surprised no one's brought up the Shockmaster's debut yet... -Ben

Some critics, particularly Stephen Thomas Erlewine, are quite picky in that kind of way. It may suggest to the obsessive music geeks that a young, dumb musician misspelling a name of a legend in the music business is disrespectful, maybe? -Ben