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Foley probably hit himself harder during that Orton promo.

You should be thanking McDonald's for that one. Now you actually have a chance with her.

So if I combine booze and bacon I will be an all knowing seer of some kind?

What about Raven's loss to Chris Benoit at Souled Out 1998? Taz's loss to Bam Bam Bigelow at that ECW PPV in Jersey.

I should make a more concerted effort to improve my internet persona. Maybe I should begin to tell fantastical tales of my sexual conquests to impress a bunch of horny cyber strangers! If you added the stink of whiskey into the mix, you'd be stealing my gimmick.

I don't, but only because I refuse to watch anything that's syndicated between 6 PM and 8 PM not named "The Simpsons" or "Seinfeld".

Big Kahuna, if memory serves me correctly. I've never had one, but it does look like a tasty burger. Only if you have a tasty beverage (Sprite) to wash it down with.

It all comes down to one thing: how well you eat the pussy.

Har har har. You bastards are mocking my pain yet again............

The guy who will make rock music decent again once the album is released in 2005. I am so delusional...........

If I were the Skins I'd be running a whole lot more to take advantage of the Eagles depleted and injured defensive line.

The only wetness I dealt with that night was your mother's. +1 for a mother joke.

As usual, I am riduclously underappreciated.

The Meanie would clearly have to be Hall again.

I am pretty sure Alan Ball said something like Nate did die, but when he was brought back during the surgery, and when he opened that casket in his hallucination, that was him choosing that reality to return to. If that makes any sense...........

You're all worthless whores. Anyway, I ended up drinking the vodka, and was granted such alcohol based wisdom that I convinced a room of 12 people that there was no God. Hooray for me.

The 2nd was pretty fuckin good too. They are all worth watching, but I'd say the 3rd was the worst one.

I'd change the 3 way between Douglas, Funk and Cactus to this then: Terry Funk, Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck vs. Shane Douglas, Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido.

Yeah, most of em are past their prime, and some probably aren't even in wrestling shape (Dreamer, Malenko, Tazz). But I would still pay to see it, which is more then I can say for any of the Smackdown or RAW PPVs.

If it were to occur, here's what the card should look like (off the top of my head). Tazz vs. Sabu Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn The Dudley Boys vs. The Eliminators vs. The Impact Players Terry Funk, Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck vs. Shane Douglas, Chris Candido and Bam Bam Bigelow Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero Rhyno vs. The Sandman Super Crazy vs. Tajiri Stevie Richards, Nova and The Blue Meanie vs. Steve Corino, Simon Diamond and CW Anderson Balls Mahoney vs. Axl Rotten vs. New Jack

No way. If I didn't drink I might realize how much I actually hate my friends. If I didn't drink, I might second guess the dirty tramp I will probably end up with. Drinking is a neccesity.

I would assume that would already be in the refridgerator if I felt so inclined.

I have $13 to spend on booze to bring to a party. Which one should it be?

True, having him back on either show would be incentive for me to actually check out what they got going these days.

And call me JAxl The Great.