I loathe Frats, lol. No tribal, but I do have chinese lettering on my ankle meaning "writer". Flag football is for queers, btw, we only play tackle around here. I've definitely never bought Axe, although I have stolen a spray from a friend, and I definitely don't wearing mall clothing. It's either flannel like it's 1992, and occasional Polo shirt if it's a nice bar, or jerseys.
Either way, hysterical reading. And yes, I am devoted entirely to getting poontang.