UseTheSledgehammerUh

SummerSlam is in North Jersey, dingaling. Like 5 minutes from NYC. They'll get their HHH.

SNME is a 1 and half hour show this time. Has to be. Looks horrendous as usual. But at least somewhat logical. But a pointless Austin return, 2 World Champs losing, and Matt Hardy boxing Evander Holyfield comes off really stupid.

Umaga was wondering why John Cena, an educated non-savage who is his enemy, reached to him for help. And then Umaga murdered the Kings of Rest-Holds.

Someone has to explain Morrison's shitty gimmick (Ross), since Morrison has the mic skills of a brick.

Dark Match and Intros from 6:45-7:00 Raw was taped 7:00-9:05 SNME from 9:05-10:30 pm

That's where you send Triple H to the ring, fuckheads.

Regal is a heel who dislikes faces and dislikes other heels when they act like idiots.

Idol was awesome. Next week I want "ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A WWE SUPERSTAR?"

I'd prefer RVD and HBK off WWE television forever.

Cryme Tyme has won countless #1 Contenders matches, never gotten a shot, and 8 months later gets a non-title affair.

That wasn't Konnan.

Pop for Hall & Oates, big time.

APA moment.

Yes, another game show!

D-Lo Brown worked a dark match at the MSG tapings. RAW is going on now and will air on tape delay. SNME will be afterwards.

Whoever just compared the cancerous mole that is TNA to the greatness of WCW is delusional.

I'll put $1,000 up that says Edge will never pin Taker at WrestleMania. Donatable to the board. The 'E knows that Edge will just pull a groin a month after this historic win. Taker/Cena is now the logical match for WM, no titles involved.

Bruno was the "common guy who lives down the street and is a man's man" Italian. Santino is the "Growin' Up Gotti blow-dry his hair for 45 minutes before hitting the club and doin a silly dance with a group of 5 and somehow nails a hot Maria while annoying every male" Italian. That "I'ma sorry, Mareeya. I cannot hear you because these other contestants are being very loud and talking about how they do not like puppies and babies." sold Marella for at least a month for me.

Benoit and Adams were in the same locker room for about 2 years, WCW Dec. 97 to WCW Jan. 00. Adams was pretty horrible in '99, although I can recall a few tags he had with Benoit & Malenko during the double-elimination WCW World Tag Team Title Tournament. They have nothing to do with each other, though, in terms of passing away.

I worked at an Applebees for about 6 months. Average shift from 5pm to midnight I'd make anywhere from $80-150. Busy little place. Lots of sidework though - (if you're cut from work at midnight, you'll be there until 1 am rolling silverware settings, cleaning tables, sweeping).

MSG tends to like the in-story babyfaces, with the exception of Bill Goldberg. It's Long Island and Nassau that will cut your dick off if you are leaving the company soon, come off like a dork, or facing a badass mega-heel. I predict Cena's reaction will be 50/50, as usual, and I hope the fans chant something cool for Umaga.

I saw Hot Rod. It was awful.

Raw can hit a serious home run tonight. I have a good feeling about this. BIG POP #1 The Handle-Bar Mustached Messiah Returns to kick King Booker's ass. You may remember that King Booker's "type of people" don't stand a chance against the wielder of the mighty sledgehammer. A Scissors Kick, Book End, Harlem Hangover, or 110th Street Slam will only serve to anger the New-Blood Son of Vince. Expect more burials tonight than after the Civil War. BIG POP #2 The Iron Sheik returns to MSG to unleash hell in a world he never made. Following one of the coolest segments in Howard Stern history, Sheik will hold nothing back to right the wrongs done against him by the likes of The Ultimate Warrior, who he knows from Georgia, B. Brian Blair, and even Hulk Hogan himself. Will Sheik get a TALK SHOW? And discuss Pontiac, Michigan? Humblings? Or will Sheik meet his demise from a certain Killer of Legends... BIG POP #3 Santino's Guido Roots. He's been on a roll, and WHO HATES EVIL ACCENTS MORE THAN MSG?!?!? Marella will likely point out that Paul London is laughing...not about how he & Kendrick have been turned into mid-carders on Heat, but about KILLING PUPPIES AND TEASING BABIES. Santino hilarious fall in the darkness of Jersey Guido Scumbag Heel will continue at Ground Zero for Evil Foreign Gimmicks. BIG POP #4 Umaga Redefined. The Umaga show. Will he lose his edge and fall into dangerous Rikishi territory? Remember, the big 'Kish's workrate, much like Umaga's, was highly touted at one time following a tremendous title bout with HHH on Smackdown. A babyface push could seriously harm Umaga's character. Not to mention a SummerSlam match with heatless Carlito. Will Umaga do something to prove his brick wall offense will remain as he begins to hear the cheers? BIG POP #5 Sandman in New York. Sandman's at MSG, the crowd loves him, Vince seems to like him, so expect shenanigans tonight being that the Carlito feud is thankfully over. Sandman likely isn't winning a match anytime soon...but hey, neither did Orton, and he's about to be the WWE Champion. Sandman, at this time, is owed a WWE Title Match and is the uncrowned General Manager, so expect him to cane someone.

WWE.com Preview Any time Raw rolls into the mecca of sports-entertainment – New York City’s Madison Square Garden – the strangest, most outrageous and most shocking things occur. This Monday night will be no exception, as heated rivalries build ever hotter toward SummerSlam, a crowning achievement seems inevitable, and WWE’s Chairman may suffer the consequences of some unexpected paternal affairs. It was the mother – actually, father – of all bombshells last Monday, when Mr. McMahon was served a summons relating to a paternity suit for an illegitimate child. In the past, the Chairman has considered himself a “genetic jackhammer”; now it seems there may be truth to his statement. Does another McMahon exist out there, and if so, will the man who sired him own up to his parental responsibilities? WWE Champion John Cena has never been one to back down from his commitments; however, his Garden obligation Monday night must have him considering it on some level. As if facing his SummerSlam opponent, Randy Orton, and Carlito in a Tag Team Match wasn’t going to be bad enough, Cena must do so with a savage partner who tried to destroy him last week: Intercontinental Champion Umaga. How can The Champ possibly co-exist with the Samoan Bulldozer and fend off a calculated attack from two of Raw’s most cunning Superstars? Read the full story ... On top of everything else, Madison Square Garden will also host royalty this Monday night. After a momentary distraction by Queen Sharmell cost him his match last week, Jerry “The King” Lawler must hail King Booker and crown him in a Royal Coronation ceremony. How difficult will it be for Lawler, a wrestling “King” for more than 30 years, to swallow his royal pride and acknowledge Booker as His Majesty in the kingdom of sports-entertainment? For the answers to these questions and more, be sure to watch Raw in Madison Square Garden, live at 9/8 CT, only on USA Network.

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