The Mandarin

Show/Cena was pretty bad, but not offensive. 2nd place. SD Tag Titles was downright crap. I'd go with that.

Props, homie. Very, very good movie. Just for shits and giggles- Planes, Trains and Automobiles- 8.7/10 Suicide Kings- 3/10 Goodfellas- 10/10 I'm with Aero, not a big fan of Lost in Translation.

Main event gets a DUD, and don't get me started on Angle/Eddie. I'd have to whip out the hot pokers.

So did I. Wait a minute.. ..oh, no wait. Oh, thank God. *phew*

If you can spot today's SECRET WORD, you get to pick tomorrow's match! The secret word is hidden somewhere in my review. Here's a clue: it's after #5, but before #14. There you have it. The winner gets to pick tomorrow's match out of the following: Brock vs. Angle- WMXIX Michaels vs. Ramon- WMX Brock vs. Undertaker- No Mercy 2002 Michaels vs. Foley- Mind Games or Steve Austin vs. The Rock- WMX-7. Happy hunting.

No, but I was extremely happy that Benoit and Guerrero's hard work had paid off.

Same here. One of my favourite WrestleManias of all time. Possibly not better than X-7, but it was still awesome. The main event was one of the most emotionally gripping matches I've ever seen. When Triple H finally tapped, that was one of the best moments I've seen in wrestling. Benoit's finally the champ. Bad ass western Undertaker is awesome. A bit different than what I expected, but he's still pretty damn cool. No letdown here. I actually enjoyed Goldberg/Lesnar. I was thrilled to see the two booed out of the building. Hopefully, they both just go away now. Austin stunnering both of them was great. Angle/Eddie was damn good. It was a bit slow at first, but once it picked up, it was great. Jericho/Christian was awesome, too. Great match, minus the botch. Christian is one bad ass dude. Molly/Victoria was not. I was ticked by the ending. Molly is probably the best, and classiest looking female wrestler, and she gets her head shaved. Why couldn't that happen to Ivory?! Or Jazz?! The RAW tag was just there. The SD tag was basically the APA/Tazz vs. RTC of WMX7. Bad, but not offensive. Vince McMahon saying thank you and the Hall of Fame ceremony was really classy. Rock/Foley vs. Evolution was probably one of the best matches of the night. I was in total mark-out mode for Ric Flair. His attempted People's Elbow was gold. I wasn't thrilled with the result, but at least Foley got up right after the RKO. They should have stayed on Foley's standing ovation longer. Then, they followed that up with a horrible women's match. Ugh. I guess it was good for what it was..2 minutes, or so. The cruiserweight open sucked. No love for Funaki. Ultimo slipping was probably the best part. Show/Cena wasn't too good, but I was happy with the result. Overall, I had a great time. These are the kind of shows that make you a wrestling fan.

Anybody else tally up how much they've spent on PPVs? I've spent $1600 on PPVs from 2000 to now. I'm insane.

Conan is WAY better than Jay. He doesn't have the nasal voice, plus he has entertaining and creative skits, unlike Leno. And at least when Conan's monologue jokes bomb, he's quick enough to cover it up with some sort of funny quip. Jay just looks at his bandleader and mutters.

Of course, why wouldn't Heenan steal the show?

1. World Title (Raw) Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels vs. HHH © Who I Want To Win: Benoit Who Will Win: HHH 2. WWE Title (Smackdown) Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero © Who I Want To Win: Guerrero Who Will Win: Guerrero 3. Handicap Match : Mick Foley/Rock vs. Ric Flair/Batista/Randy Orton Who I Want To Win: Rock/Sock Who Will Win: Rock/Sock 4. Kane vs. Undertaker Who I Want To Win: Undertaker Who Will Win: Undertaker 5. Fatal Four way for the WWE tag titles (Smackdown) – APA vs. WGTT (Haas/Benjamin) vs. Basham Brothers vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty © Who I Want To Win: TWGTT Who Will Win: APA 6. Fatal Four was for the World Tag Titles (Raw) – Dudleys vs. Lance Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resitance vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T © Who I Want To Win: Rob Van Dam/Booker T Who Will Win: Rob Van Dam/Booker T 7. Hair vs. Title – Molly Holly vs. Victoria © Who I Want To Win: Molly Who Will Win: Molly 8. Cruiserweight Open – Billy Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Ultimo Dragon, Tajiri, Jamie Knoble, Sho Funaki, Nunzio, Shannon Moore, Akio, and Chavo Guerrero © Who I Want To Win: Chavo Who Will Win: Chavo 9. Bill Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar Who I Want To Win: Lesnar Who Will Win: Goldberg 10. Playboy Evening Gown Match - Sable/Torrie vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Who I Want To Win: Jackie/Stacy Who Will Win: Sable/Torrie 11. US Championship – John Cena vs. Big Show © Who I Want To Win: Cena Who Will Win: Cena 12. Christian vs. Chris Jericho Who I Want To Win: Jericho Who Will Win: Jericho

Anybody know if Weekend Update's already been on?

"WEH ON COLD PIT ZUH" What freakin' time of day is it that Ric Flair isn't wasted?

Mad TV has sucked ever since they got in Stephnie Weir. Now old school Mad TV, that's awesome. Pat Kilbane (the tall, Lance Storm looking one) is hilarious.

Expect RR92 in a few hours.

..just like STEVE MCMICHAEL..

"It's Brockie, the rockin' dog!"

Mike is actually a pretty nice guy. Although his show was God-awful.

My CAW pimp bear would destroy Shelton.

Well, it wasn't up at 5:00. But, I will update this with both Benoit/Angle and (HOPEFULLY) the RR '92 I owe you, tomorrow.

WWE Velocity- 03/20/04 We're 6 days past WrestleMania XX, and the shock is still wearing off. SmackDown is now without Brock Lesnar! And you won't believe who showed up on SmackDown this past week! Paul London (2) and Ultimo Dragon (2) d. The Bashams (-1, -1) when Doug tried the bait and switch and ended up getting hit by both the Shooting Star Press and the Asai Moonsault. ** Highlights of Bob Backlund on SmackDown. Clips of fans enjoying the recent SmackDown house shows. A-Train (2) d. Orlando Jordan (-1) with the Derailer. 1/2* Fan sign of the week: A group of six rowdy fans with "FUNAKI" spelled out over their chests Paul Heyman's speech from this week's SmackDown is re-aired. Billy Gunn (2) d. Matt Morgan (-1) with the Fame-ass-er. 3/4* Point standings for SmackDown are: John Cena, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin- 3 Billy Gunn, A-Train, Paul London, Ultimo Dragon, Chavo Guerrero and Big Show- 2 Hurricane, Billy Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Matt Morgan, Orlando Jordan, Danny Basham and Doug Basham- -1 Tajiri, Bradshaw and Faarooq- -2 Everyone else has no recorded points. See you Thursday night, at SmackDown. WWE Heat- 03/21/04 One week past WWE WrestleMania, and we've got all the action from this past week's RAW. Scott Steiner (2) d. Matt Cappoteli (-1) with the Steiner Recliner. * Highlights of Edge returning. Will Benoit get the title shot he deserves? Horshu asks backstage why a piece of crap like Steven Richards gets to become Heat GM. Steven Richards takes offense to that, and says tonight, he'll show him why he's the most feared mid-carder in North America. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 is interviewed backstage by Todd Grisham. Todd asks if he took DDP's advice and tried to lighten up. Matt says he did, then mugs a toothy smile at the camera. Matt then quickly goes from calm to enraged. He says tonight, he's going to beat the crap out of Nick Dinsmore..and then, he's going to find his inner Mattitude and drink some herbal tea. Matt once again regains his composure and leaves. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 (2) d. Nick Dinsmore (-1) with a Twist of Fate. The advice has paid off, and Matt is finally picking up wins. ** RAW Viewer of the Week: Noreen O'Connor, who can do a flawless spinarooni. Will Ric Flair accept Randy Orton's challenge? Find out tomorrow night. Footage of Chris Jericho getting jumped by Christian. Slam of the Week- Molly Holly cheating to win, then being chased out by Victoria. Stevie Richards (2) with Victoria d. Horshu (-1) with a superkick. *1/4 The point standings for RAW are: Randy Orton, Rob Van Dam, Booker T- 3 Chris Jericho, Molly Holly, Matt Hardy, Scott Steiner- 2 Lita, Johnny Spade, Horshu, Nick Dinsmore, and Matt Cappoteli- -1 Lance Storm, Val Venis and Rico- -2 Everyone else has no recorded points. See you tomorrow night at RAW.

WWE SmackDown!- 03/18/04 MR. BOB BACKLUND?!? 4 days removed from WrestleMania XX, Kurt Angle was humiliated after his quest to defeat Undisputed Champion Eddie Guerrero came up short. After failing to get rid of someone he calls a bad influence on today's youth, Kurt Angle was desperate to strike back at Eddie Guerrero. Unable to change that night's booking, he was determined to get revenge on Eddie by the end of the night. Eddie had gotten wind of this, and both men were ready for a fight. Both men circled the ring, waiting for the other one to make a move. Without warning, former WWE Champion Bob Backlund showed up and jumped Eddie from behind! The two men beat Eddie for several minutes, busting open his forehead. At the end of the beating, the two men shook hands over Eddie's bloody body! Why is Bob Backlund on SmackDown? Are the two men on a mission to get rid of Eddie Guerrero? We'll have all the answers next week. As for Paul Heyman, he had taken the week off. But he left a message telling the fans that the loss of Brock Lesnar would not hurt SmackDown. Instead, this would give another man a chance to shine. Paul said this would give another man a chance to step up and take charge of SmackDown. Paul Heyman wanted to know who is going to be SmackDown's next big thing. After defeating Big Show to win the United States title, John Cena followed it up by soundly defeating Tajiri this week on SmackDown. Will John Cena's win streak continue? Also, The Hurricane's SmackDown debut fell flat, as he quickly lost to The Big Show. Will the Big Show try to regain the title that was once his? The Self-Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team defeated the APA after Faarooq fell victim to their german suplex/superkick combo. The youngsters have gotten one over the veterans, and you can bet that the APA won't take this lightly. Plus, Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman have some bad blood brewing after they cost eachother the Cruiserweight Title at WrestleMania. What will happen between them? A promotional video announced that the Undertaker will be there next week when SmackDown invades Grand Rapids, Michigan! How will Eddie Guerrero retaliate when Paul Heyman comes back to SmackDown this week? Find out next Thursday at 8/7 CT, only on UPN! Match Results: The World's Greatest Tag Team (3, 3) d. The APA (-2, -2) to retain the Tag Team Titles when Benjamin pinned Faarooq. *3/4 Chavo Guerrero (2) and Jamie Knoble (2) d. Billy Kidman (-2) and Rey Mysterio (-2) when Mysterio was Tigerbombed by Knoble following an altercation with Kidman. **1/4 Big Show (2) d. The Hurricane (-1) w/ Rosey after the Chokeslam. DUD John Cena (3) d. Tajiri (-2) to retain the United States Title following the F-U. **