The Mandarin

For you fools that don't know, Jarhead is a war movie directed by Sam Mendes (American Beauty and Road to Peridition). It's starring that Donnie Darko guy, Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper and others. They could have no-name actors for all I care, because Sam Mendes has yet to make a movie worse than "excellent". Then again, he has yet to make three, so..

Stabbed by a Native American over a money dispute.

I'd be perfectly happy with the direction of Raw if they'd get that goddamn Jericho over to Smackdown. At least he'd have some use there, and I wouldn't have to watch or hear him.

"Blackboy" sounds like the alternative to the "Blackberry".

I still don't understand "happy" as a substitute for "you're welcome".

"Thank you very much." "Happy." ..what?! What is with these people?

What the hell just happened to that mustachio?

Yeah! Softball ninja!

What? He knows that word? Why did he say this?

What a strange family.

You people are missing the Scott Peterson biography.

US or UK version? UK version I can understand, it isn't funny. US version is masterfully written.

She does full-frontal in "In the Cut", but at this point she's a senior citizen.

God speed, freedom fighters.

I didn't get the memo from when we changed over, I guess.

This is one person's biased picks. Why is this in a newspaper and not in a blog or something? Here's my top ten that I plan on submitting to the National Post, then. 10) Generic indy rock band ("Franz Ferdinand", "Modesty Mouse"?) 9) Ted Bundy 8) Mel Brooks 7) Rodney Dangerfield 6) The Unknown Soldier 5) That one guy from the Burger King commercials with the high pitched voice 4) Jesus Christ 3) Laci Peterson 2) La Bamba 1) Britney Spears © Funk, 2004 With the funds I generate from this, maybe I'll be able to eat lunch for a week!

The cartoons in the New Yorker.

There's also a fish mounted on the wall.

Like that's ever stopped them before. Ex: Al Snow doing The Tough Enough Contest on Smackdown! when He Is a Raw Superstar. Ivory last wrestled on Raw, so I think she jumps from side to side as she pleases.

Nick Nolte's mug shot.

Warrior was on C-SPAN.

Oh shit, they cancelled McEnroe?!

It's all about Jarhead.

Doesn't RVD actually add a lot of viewers to Smackdown? I swear I read in some Observer report that Van Dam is one of few people who still do that. I still don't understand why he forgot the "c".

Holy smokes! Charlie don't surf.