JoeDirt

Shawn Michaels? The shocks continue! I am in such disbelief right now! Be still my beating heart! Oh, I can't take much more if this excitement!

This show is so bad I could watch TNA right now.

I cheer Orton because he now makes his own decisions. YAYYYYYYY!!!

Ha, HHH got a money shot from Orton!

This is from the 10/16/99 WCW Thunder, when Kevin Nash did color commentary, with all this stuff from www.ddtdigest.com. "Nash says he has a video package for the fans. It's a replay of the Goldberg-Sid Vicious situation. Nash is doing a John Facenda-like NFL Films narration. I'm dyin' here. "Bill Goldberg - a bald-headed man with a tattoo - who only has one loss - to the great warrior - ..Kevin Nash - ..standing in the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field --- (Sid comes on) - ..Sid Vicious- .. 6 foot ten - ..290! - ..no - .315! -..no -.350! -.no FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY SEVEN POUNDS!" Oh man, this is priceless. And it goes on. This is great. Beyond words. At the end Tenay says, "shades of Mystery Science Theater." That was good." =========== [buff Bagwell gets beat down by Lex Luger and and Rick Steiner.] Tenay: And here comes LA PARKA! Why is La Parka coming out here? Nash: Because we got to the booking meeting late today, Tenay. Tenay: It's the all-shoot edition of Thunder, folks! ============ Nash: "They should have known Meng was going to win...nobody loses after having a big video package of them right before the match!"

Isn't that the guy who bitched about it on the message boards? Yeah, Marciano teased doing it and Kingston says "Oh, you can't do that, that's BAD." Their interaction with the crowd is just fantastic.

I recently saw night two of Chikara's Young Lions Cup, and wanted to talk about the most entertaining part of the show, which was a one on one tournament match between the Wild Cards...Eddie Kingston and Blackjack Marciano. The Wild Cards come to the ring and immediately start ripping into all the fans. Marciano steals a guys hat and puts it down his pants and then throws it across the gym. They make fun of all the fans and each other, and stall for about 10 minutes doing this. They then start ripping on each other for being fat, when Marciano goes "well at least we're not as fat as HER" and points to a rather large woman seated in the crowd. They then lock up, and Kingston rolls Marciano to the mat for a 2 count, and proceeds to pull down his pants, leaving him on the mat in his underwear! Kingston runs around the ringside area celebrating like he just hit a home run in the World Series. They finally get to wrestling and have a pretty good match. It's slow, but very hard hitting and not too bad, with each guy cheating as much as possible to try and win. Finally Eddie Kingston rolls out of the ring and gets on the mic, and gives a great promo about how him and his tag partner are just KILLING each other out there and for what? The stupid fans? And they both decide to leave. So the ref starts counting them out as they leave and go backstage, and as he reaches 16, both guys start running back to the ring, fighting with each other and trying to get the other guy counted out! It's fucking brilliant. The crowd just LOVED this segment...you could just see it on their faces, as everyone was laughing and smiling. Kingston and Marciano are simply the most charismatic tag team on the indy circuit today, and some of the best comedy heels out there. Ya mutha!

"MR. INSANITY" TOBY KLEIN vs. NECRO BUTCHER (IWA-MS KOTDM 2004 TOURNAMENT, NIGHT ONE, FANS BRING THE WEAPONS): This match has gotten a lot of attention as being one of the best deathmatches ever, and I even saw a few posts on the Death Valley Driver board that listed this as one of the best matches of the year. Well, I got my KOTDM 2004 tapes today, so I figured I'd review this match. Now, I'll be the first to admit it's going to be hard to give this match a star rating, because I know ahead of time it's not going to have any wrestling, it's just going to be a crazy brawl. But we'll see what I think and go from there. Necro enters first, than Klein. Klein grabs some light tubes and fakes out a few fans, pretending he's going to hit them with the tubes. The match starts before Prazak finishes introductions. Necro grabs a computer monitor and just tosses it at Klein! They brawl on the floor and Necro chops Klein. They start trading STIFF shots back and forth. Klein throws a chair at Necro's head and then breaks a light tube over his head. Klein misses with a weapon shot and Necro chops him and then hits him with a big yellow wet floor cone and then headbutts Nero down. He bashes another light tube across Necro's back and then tears off Necro's shirt...and Necro snaps! Necro punches the SHIT out of Klein with a legit HARD shot and then starts throwing about ten chairs at Klein! Necro grabs a staple gune and puts one into Klein's forehead and then they trade more stiff chops. Klein grabs a HUGE light tube structure made into a crayon shape and cracks it over Necro's head for an "I-W-A" chant. Klein grabs a water cooler on a pole and bashes Necro with it a bunch of times. Necro is bleeding now pretty good, and Klein is bleeding some as well. They trade more NASTY punches, though not as stiff as Necro's earlier. Necro tosses Klein into a bunch of chairs as they brawl through the crowd. There seems to be some cooperation problems here taking bumps as they block several moves...but then Klein POWERBOMBS NECRO OFF THE BLEACHERS AND ONTO THE FLOOR! OUCH! It's falls count anywhere, so Klein rolls on top for a two count. Klein brings Necro back into the ring and rolls him across the glass on the mat. He rakes him in the head with something sharp. Klein then hits Necro in the back with a barbed wire baseball bat, drawing more blood. They trade shots from a seated position on the canvas, and Necro dishes out some nasty headbutts. They both charge at each other and do a double headbutt, and Klein rolls on top for another two count. Necro hits more chops. Necro sends Klein into the corner and then charges and gets backdropped to the floor...and Klein pours salt all over him! Poor Necro is just taking a BEATING here. Klein tries a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor, but Necro blocks and hits a RANA on the floor on Klein! Ha! CM Punk on commentary: "Never in ymy life did I think I'd see a flying head scissors from the Necro Butcher." Butcher bashes Klein with a huge wall of light tubes. They brawl around some more. Necro heads back to the ring and up to the top rope. He leaps off the top to the floor WITH A SENTON! Necro just BASHES his jaw on the floor here, and lost several teeth from this move. Back in, and Klein nails Necro with some Nintendo or something like that. They just have no energy left here, and I don't blame them. Necro sends Klein to the ropes and slaps on a SLEEPER! Pyschology! Klein is able to grabs some light tubes and break them over Necro's head, but Necro still holds on! Finally they sandwich the referee in the corner and Klein taps, but the referee misses it. Necro releases the hold and Klein rolls him up...FOR TWO! Actually, that "ref gets bumped but misses the submission from the heel" was done about as realistically as you could have right there. They trade a bunch more punches and Klein throws another chair at Necro. He sets it up and hits a Death Valley Driver onto the chair for three at a whopping 18:00. I have to admit, I'm not the biggest deathmatch fan, but that was one hell of a crazy brawl. Definitely not match of the year or anything, but it has to be right at the top for deathmatch of the year. Scott Keith gives Cactus/Payne vs. Nasty Boys ****3/4, and this was a better brawl than that, but I think he overrated that match, and it's so hard to give star ratings to deathmatches anyways, so I don't really think I can give it a star rating. I think the match also goes to show why deathmatches should really be done so SPARINGLY, and why Ian Rotten made the right choice in ending these deathmatch tournaments. These guys just KILLED each other out there, and it's more than just the scars most deathmatch workers get from getting stabbed in the forehead or whatever. Necro took some CRAZY bumps here that have to just KILL your spine. I mean a powerbomb off the bleachers? And that crazy senton to the floor? I also really think the best deathmatches come from guys who CAN wrestle at least a bit, but are crazy enough to take all the bumps and do all the crazy shit that the blood marks love so much. Toby Klein was pretty good here, but after seeing him work two matches with Madman Pondo and this one with Necro, it's safe to say that the man who made this match was Necro Butcher. He's simply one of the best deathmatch workers in the world today because he's such a crazy fucker. I feel sorry for the man, really, because he's killing himself for so little. But you can't say he's not good at what he does, and that's taking a lot of punishment and hitting people hard. What I liked about it is that it seemed a lot more "real" than most deathmatches, which seem really cooperative, staged, etc...like you're watching a sick freakshow exhibition (which you really are). Necro is such a crazy bastard that you never know when he's really pissed or not, because some punches he threw here were HARD. And he broke Green Phantom's nose at CZW's Tournament of Death 3 in July with a punch to the face. This match seemed more like a real brawl (thought not all of the time), and was better because of it.

Jarrett vs. Hardy baby! SEPTEMBER 8th! THE MATCH EVERYONE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR! BIGGEST MATCH IN TNA HISTORY, BABY!

Yeah! A Necro Butcher fan, baby!

One of these things is not like the others... Good list, though.

Way to play if safe, Randy... Randy Orton: Teaching us all family values.

I thought this might be interesting... Answer each question true or false, except for #10. Feel free to add explanations to your answers if you'd like! 1) The WWE product is better now than it was one year ago. 2) The WWE product is better now than it was three years ago. 3) The WWE product is better now than it is five years ago. 4) I believe the in-ring product has improved in the last three years. 5) I believe the storylines/feuds/angles have improved in the last three years. 6) I wish WCW and ECW were still in existence. 7) The WWE will have no real competition in the next five years. 8) It was smart for the WWE to go to a "less is more" in ring style. 9) I believe the RAW brand is superior to Smackdown. 10) If I could convince Vince Macmahon to push one guy on either roster to the moon, it would be:

Czech, the Jeopardy shit? AWESOME.

This is the greatest RAW thread ever. EEEEEEEEEEEEVER~!

If someone tries to run you down with a semi truck and kill you, but you wrestle a match a few weeks later and that guy's stablemates get in a disgreement with him, you'll always take his side and make up with him just like that. "I know, I know you tried to kill me...water under the bridge!" Also, if a rogue company...say ECW...invades a bigger company...say the WWF/E...the sound guys will have the smaller company's theme music cued up just like _THAT_.

From tonight's WrestlingObserver live...

"Comparing Ric Flair to Hulk Hogan is like comparing Ice Cream to Horse Manure." Bobby Heenan

Hardcore Heaven is the one that went a half hour, right? Yeah, Living Dangerously is better (though still not a GREAT match) and the one they had on PPV the next year was better too, IIRC. Actually Hardcore Heaven 99 was the first ECW show I had ever seen, and that match was way better than anything else on the show...which tells you how good a show it was.

DAVE PENZER: "Ladies and Gentlemen, as Slamboree continues, this is the Cruiserweight Battle Royale, the winner to face Chris Jericho tonight. In this contest wrestlers can be eliminated by either pin fall or when their feet touch the ringside floor. And ladies and gentlemen, here are the participants..." CHRIS JERICHO: "Hold on just one second here, David Penzer you unintelligible moronic high voiced dweeb! You know nothing about the sport of pro wrestling and you know nothing about these fine competitors coming out today. So I'm gonna do all the Jerichoholics a great favor. I'm gonna introduce all of the contestants in the cruiserweight battle royale. Let's face it, one of these fine contestants will get a chance at the cruiserweight belt, (they'll never win it), but tonight you're gonna see a great match from a great competitor. Let's get down to the list here..." "Coming out first from (?)(Sounds like Sunchimilko) Mexico, you'll notice his hat NEVER comes off, the master of trick-track, the master of Da Funk, he is Super Calo! Look at those moves ladies and gentlemen. You got about a one in ten chance of winning, maybe." "Next, from El Paso, Mexico, this guy used to be a great bar tender, but it hasn't translated into his wrestling skills, he is the scourge of the illustrious Guerrero family, he is Chavo Guerrero Jr. maybe a two in ten chance of winning." "Coming out next, from Mexico, this is a rags to riches story, from selling chimichangas on the streets to WCW is Ciclope!" "Then we got Damien. He can't afford a mask, he's using paint, but sooner or later he's gonna buy a mask, I'm guaranteein' you that." "Here we go, the winner of the Lou Ferrigno look alike contest, this guy is also from Mexico, El Dandy." "Coming out next is the (?), feather weight pacer(?) champion, El Grillo." "Now this guy pulled up in a nice rusted out '68 El Camino Chevy, he's the ugliest man in our sport today, he's the illustrious Quazijuice Skelerra." "A former champion in many countries, he's gonna rock rock til he drops, rock rock never stop, Marty Jannetty, ladies and gentlemen." "Coming up next from Allentown, PA. He's a lost and lonely soul, his name is Kidman. And Kidman, I've got some Calamine lotion for you after the show!" "This guy's the true shooter of WCW, does he have a chance? No, zero chance, no way, he's Evan Courageous, ladies and gents." "Oh yeah, straight from Minneapolis, Minnesota, I want my Lover Boy tape back, Lenny Lane!" "And of course we've got Psychosis, he's got a lot of hubcaps in his collection, if you need one, he'll procure one for you after the show." "This guy is Silver King, if he wins twelve more matches he'll be upgraded to Golden King." "This guy is Johnny Sinjer? Johnny SSS.... Johnny Swinger? You ever heard of this guy? I haven't. Zero out of ten chance in winning! No chance." "And last but not least, representing Villanos 1 through 62, from the Villano family, he is Villano IV." "Those are your contestants in tonight's battle royale, I'm going in the back for a coffee cause none of these guys will ever ever beat me for my belt!"

"Rick Steiner is so stupid, he once stayed up all night to study for a urine test." Jim Cornette "Norman is so fat, he has furniture disease - his chest is in his drawers." Jim Cornette Sunny: "I bet all the guys came to see me! And all the girls came to see you!" Mr. Perfect: "Naw, I'm pretty sure some of the guys came to see me too."

I actually REALLY liked Corporate Heel Rock. He was just so damned good through late 98 and early 99 when they had to turn him back face once again.

I was looking at John McAdam's site tonight and came across these matches/angles I knew absolutely nothing about. I've heard about the hour long triangle match that "put ECW on the map" and that it was REALLY overrated, but I was hoping you guys could help me out here. Is this stuff as good as McAdam says? Was it just crazy for its time put doesn't hold up now? Let me know all about this stuff: SABU & TAZMANIAC v PUBLIC ENEMY from Philadelphia, 2/4/95. Great brawling, broken tables everywhere. Benoit runs in after the match to powerbomb Sabu from a table straddled on the top turnbuckle, through a second table on which Rocco Rock was laying. PROBABLY THE MOST INCREDIBLE SPOT I'VE SEEN IN 20 YEARS AS A FAN! A cherry on the cake of a Match of the Year candidate- A MUST, MUST SEE!! 5***!! TAKA MICHINOKU, SHOICHI FUNAKI, DICK TOGO, SHIRYU & MENS TEOH v GRAN NANIWA, GRAN HAMADA, SUPER DELPHIN, & TIGER MASK, from the 10/13/96 Michinoku Pro show in Japan. INCREDIBLE MATCH. The flying manuvers used here are off-the-charts spectacular exhibition of high spots and crazy moves. I've always said that to have a true five star match, the bout has to be supported by some storyline, and some history. But I'm throwing that rule out the window for this one. This is an astonishing match, all action for over 30 minutes. There are times I'd swear I was watching in fast forward! This is truly one of the VERY BEST MATCHES I'VE EVER SEEN, right up there with top-shelf bouts such as Flair v Steamboat and Hart v Austin. A MUST, MUST SEE. FIVE STARS PLUS!! 5 *** ++ Have I raved enough? BILL WILCOX AND FREIGHT TRAIN FULTON do an interview, which turns into a brawl. They trash each other with chairs and trashcans, then Wilcox does a flip onto Fulton- FROM THE TOP OF A ROOF!! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!! Wilcox then tries to drown Fulton in a lake. Fulton escapes, and piledrives Bill THROUGH A WOODEN PICNIC TABLE!! All of this takes place in a state park, with all of the families and picnicers not knowing what to make of this. If there was justice in this world, Wilcox and Fulton would be big stars. A MUST-SEE!!! TRIANGLE MATCH: TERRY FUNK v SABU v SHANE DOUGLAS from Philadelphia, 2/5/94- this is an awesome, MUST-SEE match, and a "MATCH OF THE DECADE" CANDIDATE. One full hour of action, featuring creative booking, and great heat. I've had close to a dozen people tell me that this is the best match they've ever seen. I won't go that far, but it's definitely 5 ***. REY MYSTERIO JR v JUVENUD GUERRERA, 2 out of 3 falls from Philadelphia, 3/9/96. A great mix of ECW-style brawling and Lucha-style high spots. I suppose this is a good spot to address this: I'm sure some of you are wondering why there aren't any WCW Cruiserweight matches listed here. With all due respect to the wrestlers and the performances they put on...if a match is the second one on the card, held at a biker rally where no one cares about the participants, the announcers are babbling about the NWO and not even calling the spots- in short, if no one but the hardcores care about the match- no matter what the guys do, it's hard for me to give it consideration for Match of the Decade. In this case, the fans are into the match and give the athletes' performance the respect it deserves. CAGE MATCH: HEAVENLY BODIES v ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS from Pikeville, KY, 4/1/94. This is the classic Losers Leave SMW match. Just incredible heat here. The match itself is great, but when you throw in the history between the two teams and the heat caused by the losers-leave stip, and a fantastic finish, it all adds up to 5 ***. SABU v AL SNOW from La Puente, CA, 9/11/94- If I ever put together a tape of the best matches nobody has ever seen, this would be one of the first bouts on it. Sabu does his usual insane spots, and Snow is his ususal great self. All hell really breaks loose when the legendary TERRY FUNK appears out of nowhere, and starts beating the crap out of both Sabu and Snow! What proceeds is a wild, insane 3-man brawl that is a "must see" for video collectors! The arena looks like a tornado has swept through it, and the brawl goes into the parking lot, all captured on film. 4 3/4 ***.

I dug up some old ones: "...we live in a country where the President of the United States puts national security on the line for a girl that even I would have turned down in high school." Mick Foley at Breakdown in 1998. "I’d like to congratulate Al Snow on his endorsement contract with La-Z-Boy,which is kind of unusual since Al doesn’t usually sell chairs." Mick Foley, don't know when "Get your fat ass on the scale, Dracula." Hardcore Holly to Gangrel in 1999 when he was doing that whole "super heavyweight" thing. "We're providing the sophisticated entertainment you demand." Vince MacMahon in late 1997. Lawler: It must be so humiliating to get WCW spraypainted on your back. JR: It must be even more humiliating to work for them. "He looks more like the Big LOST Man to me!" (Hogan, after spraypainting Ray Traylor on Nitro.) Heenan: Sting is human like everyone else. Schiavone: I don't know if he's human...I think he's transcendant. "Armstrong and Finlay are two of the strongest competitors in this matchup." (Schiavone, during a SINGLES match between Steve Armstrong and Fit Finlay.)