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Gary Floyd

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  1. Gary Floyd

    45

    By Gary Floyd,

    Well, before I finish the list of the most pretentious bands and albums of all time, there's some cool news for you horror fans: Dario Argento Ready to Shot Long Awaited Third Part of his Three Mother Triology This is so fucking cool.
     
    And now, the conclusion to our list
     
    Emerson, Lake, and Palmer-I always hated this band. While I was never big on Progressive Rock (though does Krautrock count, because I love Krautrock), this band always annoyed me. The annoying keyboard solos, the laughable attempts at mixing classical music with rock, the self indulgence, the fact that they actually recorded an albums with a straight face...the list goes on.
     
    Interestingly enough, Keith Emmerson did the score to Dario Argento's "Infrerno", and I actually like that score.
     
    Vanilla Fudge-The Beat Goes On-Your winner in most pretentious album of all time, and one of the worst albums of all time, is this dandy. First of all, some background: VF weren't a bad band. Hell, I always thought that they were underappreciated as far as late 60's/early 70's hard rock bands go. Anyways, in 1969, the band recorded this album It says in it's notes (and I'm not making this up) that the album was inspired by The Beatles, Brahm, Mozart, and...Sonny Bono. Yes, you read that right. The band thought that Sonny fucking Bono was comparable to Mozart.
     
    The concept of the album? The end of the 60's, and various moments in American History. All set to Sonny Bono's "And The Beat Goes On". Oh, and there are covers of songs, including a Beatles song, and several classical tunes. And sample of JFK being announced shot and killed, The announcement that we bombed Japan, and other such things. Oh, and clips of interviews with the band, one member saying "the music industry is so disheartening", as well as horrible free form poetry.
     
    And there you have it folks. ELP are the most pretentious band of all time, and "The Beat Goes On" by Vanilla Fudge is the most pretentious album of all time.
     
    Next time: Back to Regular old Entries.
  2. Gary Floyd
    Well, it's been a while, but I have an answer why: Homework. Oh, and my printer broke this weekend, and I had to get a new one. Basically, I've been having a shitty weekend, whough hopefully, things will get better.
     
    Anyways, here's part two of my list of the most pretentious bands and albums
     
    A Silver Mt. Zion-This one hurts for me, because I actually like this band. That out of the way, I do have to admit that while i love the genre, Post Rock is one of the most pretentious things in music right now. Let's look at the facts: Here's a band that's full of post rock cliched (the crecendos, ridiculous band name, inhumanly long album and song titles) that's a GYBE! side project (there's a lot of these) and this one made it on the list because well, even though there are many similar bands, this one just came to mind. Oh well.
     
    Genesis P. Orridge-When i was Young-Here's a major miss. For those of you who don't know who Genesis is, he's essentially one of the most important figures in industrial music, mostly because he was a member of the first ever indistrial band Throbbing Gristle. After TG split, he formed Psychic TV. After Psychic TV split, he got a sex change. Oh, and released this album For some reason, he thought that doing really short spoken word poetry (repeated over an over ) over bland trip-hop production was a good idea. Well guess again pal. The album is really self indulgent in it's simplicity (never thought you'd hear that one) and is also really, really boring. Not so suprising, it was only released as a limited edition.
     
    Wreckx-N-Effect-Rap's New Generation-Yep, believe it or not, the guys who recorded "Rump Shacker" made it on the list. Why? Well, let me explain:
     
    There are ton's of covers albums out there. While a few of them are good, most of them really suck. However, the worst, and most self important, of these, is WAE's 1996 album Rap's New Generation. Here, the group cover such hip hop classics as "Planet Rock" and "Da Vpours", while paying "tribute" to old school hip hop. However, from the title of the album itself, you can tell that there's a real self importance to the whole thing, and it pretty much shows the world why they were known for "Rump Shaker", and nothing more. And I like the song "Rump Shaker".
     
    Coil-Here's one that really pains me to type. anyways, as you folks know, I love Coil. They are one of industrial and experimental electronic musics most important, and best bands. So, why did they make it on here? Because of two albums-Time Machines and Constant Shallowness Leads to Evil. The former is basically a series of repeated synth drones made to "fascillitate time travel". Translation: take hallucinogens while listening to this. The latter though, is the worst: a tribute to Krautrock bands like Faust and noise rock bands like Butthole Surfers. The Problem? It has none of the odd humor or offbeat fun of those groups., thus making it an unlistenable, sprawling mess.
     
    That's all for now. Next Time: The list comes to an end.
  3. Gary Floyd
    Well as I promised, here's the start of my countdown of the most pretentious bands and albums of all time, according to me. Let's get this show on the road.
     
    Consolidated-Here's a doozy, a preachy hip-hop/industrial "marxist" band of pro vegan, anti-capitalist jackoffs who pretty much are the epitomy of preachy, and make Rage Against the Machine look like The Osmonds. The real kicker for the group is their love of the book The Sexual Politics of Meat, a book that pretty much says that if you eat meat, then you hate women and want to rape them. Of course, the band took this to heart, as most of their songs tell you that anyone who eats meat is a rapist. Oh, and if you don't agree with them on their bullshit theories, then you are a fascist (they accuse just about everyone they disagree with fascists) who hates women and is homophobic. Oh, and read the lyrics to the song "Tool and Die", which are so preachy, they would make Lars Van Trier cringe.
     
    Basically, what I'm trying to say is this: There is nothing sadder than hearing obnoxious white dudes rapping about how bad black people have it. Yeah, like they really know anything about the struggles minorities go through in this country. It's practically a fucking minstrel show. I do get some satisfaction though, in the fact that their anti-meat/"feminist" songs are being played at fetish clubs where women are willingly tied up and whipped today. That's irony for ya.
     
    Kiss-Music For The Elder-From what I've heard, even the band themselves are embarrassed of this disaster. I still find it hard to believe that fucking Kiss, probably one of the least pretentious bands of all time, recorded this bloated piece of shit. Just listen to the songs like "The Oddyssey" and "I", and you'll wonder "what the fuck were they thinking". Also, to this day, I still don't know what the fuck the album is about. Could somebody please tell me what the albums concept is?
     
    Burzum-I've mentioned in the past that I hate Burzum, as I've metioned it many a time on this thread. Read all about why I think that Burzum is one of the lamest and most pretentious projects in music history on that thread. Oh, and don't bother responding to Thumbtack, asd he seems to be in a permanent bad mood over there, and I quit arguing with him last week.
     
    Neil Young-Trans-When artists try experimenting with different styles of music, it's a slippery road. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. This album is a perfect example of what happens when it doesn't work. Now I love Neil Young, but damnit, this album is a pretentious mess. Basically, Young decided to experiment with synthesizers and vocorders, and made this album. It's no wonder why it's hard to find in the U.S., except for Imports and on ebay, as it's a bloated disaster, and a real headscratcher as well. This album has split Young fans, with some thinking it's his most daring work. Well, daring doesn't always mean good, if you ask me.
     
    That's all for today. The list continues next time
  4. Gary Floyd
    -How's it going folks? Not a whole lot going on around here (as usual). Last night though, I couldn't sleep, because there were these obnoxious kids outside at 2:30 in the morning playing with their super soakers and generally making such a racket, I could hear them through my ear plugs. Christ I hate College Freshmen.
     
    -Last night's "South Park" was a major improvement over the previous two episodes. The "Altered States" reference was a great touch (to Family Guy: Quit Refrencing Lucas/Spielberg movies and 80's Pulp Culture, and start referencing obscure cult movies. Then I might watch you again) and the ending made great use of the theme from "The Omen". Also, it pretty much shows viewers once again how dispicable Cartman is.
     
    -Watched "Wolf Creek" and "Event Horizon" last night. Both get 8/10 from me. I'm not getting any more DVD's until "Cemetary Man" hits DVD this June.
     
    -Finally, I'm going to start a countdown to who I think are the most pretentious bands of all time, as well as the most pretentious albums. Anybody have any suggestions?
     
    That's all. The countdown starts tomorrow.
  5. Gary Floyd
    Today's entry brought to you Zapp and Roger. Don't leave home without it!
     
    -Anyways, I'm sure that a lot of people here bought the new Tool album that came out today. It did come out today, didn't it? Just wondering. Anywho, personally, I'm not too interested. Sure, I would have been interested in this back when I was a teenager, but when I turned 21, I finally grew a bit tired of Tool. I don't know wy, but I just did. I'll still have to hear it blaring from speakers in my college, but I will admit, I'd rather hear Tool than that Keisha Cole song "Love". I have to hear that song every fucking day, and I'm sick of it. At least I have Current 93's new album to look forward to later this month. You Tool fans think that five years is a long wait? Try waiting 10 years since David Tibet and co. have released an album of new material.
     
    -I actually enjoyed Raw last night. Not every part of it, but I thought it was good. Highlight of the show was the worked shoot from Joey Styles. Check it out here. Also good was the Kane vs. Conway match, simply for the fact that they made this whole "May 19th" angle a litte enjoyable, or at least for five minutes. Oh, and I still love the Spirit Squad.
     
     
  6. Gary Floyd
    -Well, I'm pretty busy as of late, which isn't the best way to start out the first entry of May '06. Oh well.
     
    -Has anybody seen the new commercial for the new Super Soaker called "The Oozinator"? If so, I just have to tell you: It scares the shit out of me. The commercial looks like it was made by pedophiles.
     
    -I saw Steve Colbert's ripping on the president on the net last night, and I liked what I saw. The silence in the room (filled with other Republicans) makes it a bit uncomfortable though.
     
    -Last Saturday's "Best Of" SNL episode (Best of TV Funhouse) was awesome. I always loved the TV Funhouse skits, and they had some of my favorites, including the X-Presidents, Fun With Real Audio (The Newscaster one and the MCain one were awesome, as was the Clinton Testimony one), Shazaang!, Cartoons in Black History (My favorite being the all African singing one), "Trapped In The Disney Vault", "Christmas Time For the Jews" The tribute to Charles Schultz...they had almost everything. The only problems were the cutting some of them got, and the Ace and Gary bits were annoying. Oh, and for thouse of you who wish they had the Ray Lewis one, Here's "Ray of Light".
     
    -Now, here's a website for ya: http://www.bangme.net/ . There's some real "winners" here, just to let you know.
     
  7. Gary Floyd
    So far, things are doing alright.
     
    -Anyways, yesterday I got the reissues of Chaperhouses Whirlpool and Byrne and Eno's My Life in the Bush of Ghosts. I haven't been able to listen to Whirlpool yet, but I did listen to Ghosts yesterday and today. Simply put, I'm blown away at how awesome it is. It's hard to believe that this was recorded around 79-80, as it sounds very ahead of it's time. Plus, it's catchy (and at times, funky) as hell. I'll have to get Talking Heads Fear of Music after this one, though that won't be until later in the future. Man, I have several CD's I want to purchase right now, including the new ones from The Sounds and Goldfrapp, and some oldies from Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock, and some others who have escaped my mind right now.
     
    -I also finally got to buying the 2-disc special edition of Daio Argento's debut film Bird With The Crystal Plummage today. I'll get to watching it tonight, and I'll let you know how it is.
     
    That's it for now. Next time: Bird With the Crystal Plummage, the Chapterhouse album Whirlpool, and the most underrated comedies of all time.
  8. Gary Floyd
    Tonight's blog is named after a Butthole Surfers song.
     
    -As I mentioned last night, I can't see "Silent Hill" this week. To anyone who has seen it: is it worth seeing? Just wanted to know, as I've been looking forward to this one for a while now.
     
    -Since I've been doing so much homework lately, I've been listening to a lot of music, and I mean a lot of it. Here's the songs that I've been listening to the most lately
     
    .Starflyer 59-Sin For a Season First of all, I refuse to believe that this band is a Christian rock band, because they are way too good to be a Christian rock ban. But they are one (and an indie rock band) but don't go expecting some kind of Creed level bullshit. This stuff is basically Indie Rock (you know, good Indie Rock) with a slight shoegazer influence. This song is a cover of a Steven Taylor song, and it's all kinds of awesome, as well as creepy as hell IMO. You can download it Here.
    .Butthole Surfers-Lady Sniff I love 80's era Butthole Surfers. This is probably one of their funniest songs, with frontman Gibby Haynes sounding like an old pervert with alzheimer's, ranting about God knows what, while random sounds (including belching farting, and vomiting noises) show up every now and then.
    .Human League-Empire State Human
    .Depth Charge-Dead By Dawn
    .AFX-Phonatacid
    .Goldfrapp-Slide In (DFA Remix)
    .EPMD-You're a Customer
    .Glass Candy-Sugar and White (Vocal Mix)
    .Booker T and The MG's-Melting Pot
    .The Finnish Version of the Ducktales Theme (I blame YTMND for this one)
    .Grand Funk Railroad-Sin's A Good Man's Brother
    .Swervedriver-Bring Me The Head Of The Fortune Teller
    .The Pretty things-Don't Bring Me Down
    .Elvis Costello-Accidents Will Happen
    .Depeche Mode-I Want It All
    .Yo La Tengo-No Return (Kinks Cover)
     
     
  9. Gary Floyd
    -Well, I'm not going to be able to see "Silent Hill" tonight. Why? Because of homework. Oh well, at least I have something to do.
     
    -I've gotten sort of used to the image of the mutant baby. That out of the way, I agree with everybody else: It needs to go. Besides, the feminized anime wrestlers are the new disturbing of TSM, though they're also hilarious. Plus, they finally gave Masked Man of Mystery a good sig.
     
    -You know, what ever happened to Punk's sense of humor. Sure, punk has always rebelled against society and such, but at least most of the bands of old (Ramones, Dead Kennedys) had a sense of humor to go along with it. I mention this because nowadays, it seems like all the "punk" bands have no sense of humor, and take themselves way too seriously. And people wonder why I prefer bands like The Sounds to Anti-Flag: Because while bands like The Sounds aren't really great bands, they are at least more fun than most "punk" bands of today, who have become too preachy for their own good.
     
    -Last night, the legendary "Jessie's Song" episode of Saved By The Bell aired on Adult Swim. For those who haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it. It's (unintentional) comedy gold.
     
     
  10. Gary Floyd

    Boy/Girl Song

    By Gary Floyd,

    Today's entry is named after an Aphex Twin Song.
     
    -Well, as far as homework is concerned, it's back to the old grind for me, and that's just fine. Hell, it gives me something to do. Plus, sitting at the computer all day is boring.
     
    -It seems like Czech left. My thoughts: If he's really gone, then I'm going to miss TSM's answer to the SNL Dana Carvey character Grumpy old man. That reminds me: I always thought that Carvey's "Massive Headwound Harry" character was underrated, as was Myer's "Lothar of the Hill People" and "Middle Age Man". I always thought Myers was at his best on SNL. Anyways, back on topic: I doubt he'll be gone for good. They always come back.
     
    -Cool looking movie alert: Evil Aliens. I've heard mostly good stuff about this, and some people are calling it a splatter comedy classic. I think that it looks awesome. Unfortunately, the trailer is currently unavailable, but if or when it comes back, I'll be sure to post it. Anyways, it's getting festival and midnight showings right now, and should be out on DVD by September.
     
    -Oh, another thing on SNL: Who do you think was an underrated character on the show?
     
    -I saw the movie "Shadow: Dead Riot" on DVD last Friday night, and was disappointed. It has it's moments, but that's it: just moments. It's hard to believe that a zombie movie/women's prison movie/martial arts movie would be so disappointing, but it is. Still, it's not the worst zombie movie I've ever seen (That would be either "House of the Dead", "Dead Life", "Meat Market", or "Shatter Dead". Avoid those movies like the plague.)
     
    That's all for now.
  11. Gary Floyd
    -Well, last night's Raw was a mixed bag for me. The Vince vs. God bits are just another part of the worst feud of the year (so far) in Shawn vs. Vince, narrowly beating out Kane going crazy over May 19th. Come on Kane, you were in a movie that will most likely suck, there's no reason to take it out on other people. I'm sure that people will suffer watching it. That out of the way, we did get the return of Charlie Haas, Edge actually walking off at the end of Raw unhumiliated and winning, and more awesomeness from the Trish vs. Mickie.
     
    -I bought the Unrated version of "Hostel", as well as the 2-disc special editon of "From Dusk Till Dawn".
     
    -To close today's blog, here's a list of Horror movie Sequals that I always thought were underrated, and why.
     
    Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2-the movie that introduced Bill Mosely to an unexpecting world. The funniest performance though, goes to Jim Sidow as Drayton Sawyer, who has one of the funniest lines in horror history when he tries to spell sex, or as he spells it, "S-C-E-X!"
     
    House 2-I actually like this one better than the original. It's got a caterpuppy (just see the movie, you'll know what I'm talking about), a swordfight, a 170 year old cowboy zombie (who says "Ronnie Reagan wouldn't last 5 minutes in the old west) and more.
     
    Beyond Re-Animator-Better than "Bride of Re-Animator", this movie has less lame puns, is funnier, has a re-animated penis duking it out with a re-animated rat, a jawless zombie trying to drink milk, and more. Also has one of the best double entendres in movie history
     
    Howard Philips: That's the way to the hole!
    Herbert West: It certainly is.
     
    Creepshow II-The first two segments of this one aren't too much to write home about. The third one however, titled "The Hitch-Hiker", is fucking creepy. Here, a woman runs over a homeless man. However, he comes back...repeatedly.
     
    Return of The Living Dead III-Not as good as the first, but better than the second, this Brian Yuzna directed sequal answers the age old question: what would happen if Romeo and Juliet were a zombie movie? Well, the answer is here. While it does have a few amusing moments (it's hard to hate lines like "Julie, You should quit eating that mans brains!"), this movie plays it all more straight. Also, Mindy Clarke plays Julie. Here, you get to see her tits, and after she becomes a zombie, she turns herself into a human pincushion/weapon. Again, you need to see it to know what I'm talking about.
     
    Well, that's all for now.
  12. Gary Floyd
    Well, it looks like RVD will face whoever's champ on ONS. So far, it look's like we have 3 choices. Let's take a look at them, and how well they fit on ONS.
     
    1.) HHH-Let's it folks, this one has a good chance of happening. Right now, I'm actually digging Trips as a cocky, arrogant heel, and he hasn't done any overdone mic time lately. He'll go over fine with the fans as a heel, though I don't see him losing to RVD unfortunately. That out of the way, RVD has kind of soured out on me since his return.
     
    2.) Cena-This would be interesting, though I don't see it happening. In spite of what rumors say, I don't see him turning heel. Kind of a shame though, as he hasn't really been over 100% as a face lately, and would probably make a decent heel, as a heel turn would most likely rejuvinate his career. Plus, imagine the heat he would get at ONS. He's basically everything representing the WWE like it or not, so imagine him in front of rabid ECW fans, especially against RVD. That would be awesome.
     
    3.) Edge-This is the best choice, IMO. The guy's the best heel on Raw, is excellent on the mic, and even has hardcore cred thanks to his hardcore match with Foley. Plua, Lita used to work for ECW, so she could put down the ECE fans along with Edge, and bring up the old days (no, not her old lockeroom activities). Unfortunately, this porobably won't happen, as HHH keeps putting him down, and seems a bit threatened by him to me.
     
    Well, that's it for now.
  13. Gary Floyd
    -Shit, this has been a boring weekend. I've been stuck with homework, and the only time I get to go out is for dinner. Basically, I've been stuck in my dorm all weekend.
     
    -I've been doing a lot of reading at night, mostly Richard Matheson. I love this guys work, and he's second to H.P. Lovecraft in my favorite horror authors of all time.
     
    -Watched "Cabin Fever" last night. I still love that movie, so fuck the haters. For those of you who do love it, just some advice: You need to watch it more than once. The more you watch it, the more you'll recognize stuff and dialogue you didn't recognize before.
     
    -I really don't have much else to say, so here's some YTMND links For Ya
     
    Interpretation of the David Hasslehoff Song "Du" (I need to download this song some time)
    Scooby DU
    Return of the Mack
    Return of The Retun of The Mack
    Return of The Return of TheReturn of The Mack
    Return of The Return of The Return of The Return of The Mack
    and Finally
    Return of The Jesus
     
     
     
  14. Gary Floyd
    -Good God, there been quite a few bannings lately. So far, it seems like fanofcoils, Desperate Housewife, and
    Dam(o)n Yankees have been kicked out. So, what does ol' lovecraft think of this? Well, here are my thoughts of the banned offenders, including some long delayed thoughts on someone banned a while back.
     
    .Dam(o)n Yankees-While he did get in a few arguments, and say some stupid things, he really didn't do anything to annoy me. To be honest, I don't see why he was banned, though I would like to know why.
     
    .Desperate Housewife-I can see why. The guy constantly chastized posters in the WWE forums (including yours truely) for complaining in a "fan forum" (which it is not) about the product. I've already said it several times, so I'll say it again: This is the fucking internet. People complain over dumb shit all of the time, and it's nothing new. If you can't take the heat, then step away from the fire.
     
    .fanofcoils-This guy should have been banned the first time he made an idiotic comment. Everyone from Special K, Vitamin X, Slayer, and yours truely couldn't stand the guy. Plus, he was the ultimate troll (read the threads on V for Vendetta and The Hills Have Eyes in the movie forum), derailed threads (as Special K pointed out), and was most likely some past banned poster. Good fucking riddance.
     
    .MikeSC-An oldie to be sure. Wow, were to start. Randomly insulting people. Failing to back up his "facts". Trolling the NWA TNA forums. Turning a "Farenheit 9/11" discussion into a shitstorm (and I didn't even like the damn movie). Calling Islam a "Radical Death Cult". The list just goes on. At least he has his own message board now.
     
    Glad I got all of that off of my chest. Anyways, here's some cool videos from YouTube
     
    -Can performing their song "Paperhouse"
    -Video for Cabaret Voltaire's "Sensoria"
    -YOU DUMBASS! (I'm one of the few people on Earth who liked this show. Oh Well.)
  15. Gary Floyd
    Well, I'm not ordering "Wrestlemania" this year. Other than a few matches, I have little to no interest in the show. Cena vs. HHH is pointless, and you know HHH is going to win. The Triple Threat Match will be good, but the only good thing that could come out of it is Angle winning, which seems pretty unlikely at this point. Boogeyman vs. Booker: Poor Booker. I don't give a shit about the Pillow Fight, and neither do the fans. Then again, when was the last time the WWE did something that made the fans happy? Undertaker vs. Henry is pointless, other than to point out that Undertaker never jobs at Wrestlemania. The tag match doesn't interest me because lets face it, the titles are practically DOA. Edge vs. Mick is just sad. Edge should still be champ right now, is a great heel, and is the most over heel on Raw, yet he gets stuck with this bullshit.
     
    Then there is Shawn vs. Vince. This is the worst feud of the year so far. There is no point to it other than to stroke Vince's ego, and there is no real hook to the match, other than "Vince is an Evil Asshole", which got tired a long time ago. Hopefully, after tomorrow night, the whole feud will be over, but at this point, I doubt it.
     
    I was going to post a review for "Slither", but I changed my mind. I will say that it was awesome, and the most fun I've had in a theatre in ages.
  16. Gary Floyd
    -Well, my week of Spring Break is over. Some spent there spring break in Cancun. My Sister spent hers in South Carolina. Me? I spent it visiting my parents. Nothing special.
     
    -Anyways, I've noticed that everywhere I go these days, there's a magazine with Ashlee Simpson on The cover. My question is, why? Really, why is she on so many magazine covers? Is she still popular?
     
    -There's some neat little movies coming out tomorrow on DVD. The one I am most interested in for some reason, is "Shadow: Dead Riot". This does not look like a good movie per say, but it looks more like a movie that is so bad it will be great. Plus, it's a zombie movie, a martial arts movie, and a women in prison movie all in one.
     
    -I hope everyone who has read it enjoyed the review of Tobe Hooper's "Mortuary" that I posted on my blog.
     
    -Finally, I hope Carnival and Lushus have a good time at Raw tonight. Granted, Raw has sucked it hard for a while now, but I still hope they have fun.
  17. Gary Floyd
    It's hard to believe that the man who directed films such as Polergeist has had such a hit and miss career. For every Texas Chainsaw Massacre, there is a Mangler. For every Funhouse, there's a Crocodile. His latest movie, Mortuary (which just aired on Sci Fi, and hits DVD on April 18th.) isn't exactly a miss, but it's not a hit either.
     
    The movie tells the tale of the Boyle family (which includes Denise Crosby from Pet Cemetary and Dan Byrd from the recent remake of The Hills Have Eyes), who move into an house in Arkham, Mass. Yes, this movie is heavily influenced by HP Lovecraft. That out of the way, the home is also a Mortuary, and of course, since it's a Mortuary in Arkham, only bad can come outt of it.
     
    Anyways, the son get's a job at a diner, and makes some friends (including Alexandra Adi from Slap Her, She's French and Tequila Body Shots, and Rocky Marquette from Shallow Ground). They tell him about the legend of Bobby Fowler, a strange boy who murdered his parents at age eight and is rumored to live in the cemetary, which conveniently, is in the back yard of our Teenage hero's house.
     
    Needless to say, it turns out that Bobby Fowler is real (and a bizzare, uneven mix of HP Lovecraft, the monster from Stuart Gordon's Castle Freak (which was inspired by a Lovecraft story) and Lucio Fulci's House By The Cemetary). Oh, and there's a strange fungus that possesses people, and brings the dead back to life. As well as a Lovecraftian creature who controls the fungus/slime. Oh, and the zombies can only be killed by salt. So, does it work?
     
    Well, yes and no. On the plus side, Crosby, Byrd, and Marquette do good jobs at their roles. The make up effects are well done, and the Lovecraftian overtones and references don't hurt a bit at all. However, there are problems. The first being the rather lame CGI effects. Another problem is that the other performances are uneven. The biggest problem however, is the general tone. At one minute, it seems like the movie wants to be a creepy gothic horror story and tribute to Lovecraft, then in the next minute, it wants to be a tongue in cheek romp. The two style generally don't work, and the attempts at humor are pretty lousy. Plus, don't expect a gorefest, Sure, there's a torn out heat, black fungus vomit, and some blood, but no major gore. Then again, several of Hooper's films aren't that gory (or even gory at all) to begin with.
     
    All in all, the best way to describe Mortuary would have to be uneven. I'll give it 5/10, since it's definately different, and it's never boring. However, it's not really good either, though it's not Hooper's worst movie.
  18. Gary Floyd
    Last nights episode of "South Park" was excellent. I basically have a feeling that the creators are done ripping on Scientology (which for now on will be known as Super Adventure Club, starting...now), which is ok. Plus, you can tell that they really are going to miss Isaac, though I hear he still performs "Salty Chocolate Balls" live.
     
    Randy Orton changed his theme song briefly I hear. I don't watch Smackdown, so I really wouldn't know. At least he doesn't have Nickleback as his theme music.
  19. Gary Floyd

    Music Update II

    By Gary Floyd,

    Well, I finished off listening to the CD's I recently bought. Here's my Quick thoughts.
     
    Massive Attack-Blue Lines-Great Stuff. It's not as good as Mezzanine (aka the greatest Trip-Hop album ever recorded) but it's still great. There's a bit of a hip hop feeling to it, which i really like.
     
    Richie Hawtin-Decks, EFX, and 909-This is awesome. A continuous mix of minimal techno, with repetative beats and rhythms, all seemlessly put together for a great listening experience. One of the Best DJ Mix CD's I've ever heard, slightly beaten out by Coldcut's 70 Minutes of Madness.
     
    Finally, it seems like I might be a member of Clique B in the Hardcore discussion. So, If I'm in Clique B, and Czech isn't, then what does that make Leena?
  20. Gary Floyd

    Music Update

    By Gary Floyd,

    I listened to two of the four CD's I bought yesterday. My Thoughts:
     
    Can-Ege Bamyasi I don't like it as much as Tago Mago (The weird chanting/yelling in the song Soup gets annoying) but it's still awesome. This is the second album from Can I've bought, so maybe I'll buy either Future Days or Soon over Bambaala next.
     
    Butthole Surfers-Psychic...Powerless...Another Man's Sac- I said it in the music board earlier, and I'll say it again: This is probably the funniest album they did. It's also the most punk rock sounding of their albums that I've heard. It's not as good as Locus Abortuon Technician or Rembrandt Pussyhorse, but it's still awesome.
     
    Up next in my listening list is Massive Attack's Blue Lines and Richie Hawtin's Decks, EFX, and 909.
  21. Gary Floyd
    Well, it seems like the "Snakes on a Plane" teaser might be a fake. I hope not.
     
    In more important thoughts, my best guess is that either Czech or Carnival will win the TSM Poster's Tournament. I'm still suprised that I made it to round two. Plus, it's kind of an honor to lose to Niskie, as he's an awesome poster.
     
    I bought Can's Ege Bamyasi, Massive Attacks's Blue Lines, Butthole Surfers's Psychic...Powerless...Another Man's Sac, and Richie Hawtin's Decks, EFX, and 909. I'll get to listening to all of them by the end of the weekend. Also, I listened to Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By from Lovage today. My second listening, and it's alot better than I remembered it was.
  22. Gary Floyd
    Anyways, I've been incredibly busy lately. Finals are this week.
     
    Now, on with other things.
     
    -Last Thursday, while I was leaving class, I saw something that plagues every college campus: Hippies. They were pretty much standing around, holding signs with big "I'm Pro-Life" and "Fuck Bush" written on them, one of them had a megaphone and was shouting all kinds of things like "Bush is a Shitty President" and basically being obnoxious hippies who refuse to make anything out of themselves or the opportunities given to them because they are too busy being jackasses and "Fighting The Man". I was tempted to come up to them and say something to piss them off-I mean come on, it's not lke they will gang up on me and beat me up-but I didn't. I wish I did though. Later on that day, I told one of my friends about this, and she pretty much defended them.
     
    Anyways, here's my point: I'm very Anti-Bush. I'm not exactly a big fan of the war in Iraq. At the same time though, I really fucking hate hippies. I'm sorry hippies, but why do you continue to "Fight For The Cause"? I'm not happy with Bush either, but I don't go around annoying people because of it. Plus, hippies are utterly clueless. They don't seem to realize how the real world works. Sure, I have no problem with anyone who skips class, but if your going to do it so you can shout out lame slogans and such, then I'm sorry, but you suck. Get a steady job. Attend your classes. Hell, you are in college. You are being given the perfect opportunity to make something usefull out of yourselves. To actually contribute something to society and become something. Hell, right now, you have the fucking luxery of delaying entrance into the real world for a good four to five years. And how do you this: By conforming to every lame "Down With The Elite" stereotype imaginable.
     
    Guess what hippies? You are a part of the "elite". You are a part of society. Sure, you don't contribute to anything like actually getting an education or going to work, but you are still a part of society. You are all conformists. Hell, everyone is a conformist, and you know what? It's great. Being a conformist is actually fucking awesome in reality. For now though, you don't realize that. You are to busy wearing your Che Guevara T-Shirts and smoking your joints to realize that you are utter failures.
     
    Ok, I'm done ranting.
     
    That out of the way, one more thing I've noticed: Though they preach racial equality, all hippies seem to be white. I'm a white guy myself, but It just further confirms my belief that the majority of idiots in America are white.
  23. Gary Floyd
    This post has nothing to do with the late Russell Jones. It would be much better if it was though.
     
     
    To Czech: I'm disappointed that you haven't said anything insulting about me the the Hardcore Discussion, though seeing you sanity slowly melt away is amusing. I guess you haven't said much about me because I rarely post in Hardcore Discussion, and because I'm a non-confrontational pussy.
     
    Anyways, got the original novel version of "Carnosaur" in the mail. The book's much better than the movie, though the movie remains a guilty pleasure of mine.
  24. Gary Floyd
    Anyways, been a while.
     
    So far, Wrestlemania looks like it will be shit. Normally, I order it evey year, so this looks like the first time I won't be ordering one. Here is a list of things that are most likely better than Wrestlemania will be:
     
    Metallica's "St. Anger"
    Date Movie (that's right, fucking Date Movie looks better than Wrestlemania.)
    A movie from Uwe Boll
    See No Evil (I've seen the poster for it online. It has a new shitty tagline: "Evil Gets Raw")
    A porno from Rob Black
    A post from Desperate Housewife
    Gimmick Posters
    Goldberg vs. Lesner
    Getting a tattoo that says something retarded
     
    Feel free to add to the list.
     
    Also, I really dig Venetian Snares. Nothing else to add, I just really dig the guys work.
  25. Gary Floyd
    Well, The Stealers won the Superbowl last night. I was sort of wishing Seattle would win, just because all of the Stealers love was getting on my nerves. Also, my sister called me last night, and told me that my dad hates them. Oh well.
     
    Anyways, the pregame show (with Stevie Wonder) was alright. The halftime show sucked though. That was probably the most overblown performance of "Satisfaction" I've ever seen. As for comercials, the FedEx commercial with the Cavemen was the best, while the Diet Pepsi commercials were the worst.
     
    Gotta go. Have some homework to fiinish.
     
     
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