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Gary Floyd

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  1. Gary Floyd
    31 Days of the Dead starts...now.
     

     

    01.) Night of the Creeps (1986) 
    Plot: Alien space worms enter people through their mouths (insert penis joke here), turning them into malicious zombies. Can Det. Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) save the day?
     
    Review: If you love 80's horror, you've most likely seen this. It's not on DVD yet (legal problems apparently) , which is a shame, as it's a 80's horror classic.
     
    So, what makes it work? Well, for one thing, the one liners (especially the "The good news" quote seen in the tagline. The acting is good for the large part, especially Atkins, who has a ball with the character he plays. The movie also has some (rather obvious) references to older B-Movies ("Plan 9 From Outer Space" for example) and noted directors, but it never hurts the movie.
     
    Director Fred Dekker went on to make The Monster Squad, which is on DVD. While that's great, it would be even better if this one was as well.
     
    Final Verdict: 9/10. A nearly perfect B-Movie classic that every horror fan should see.
     
    Tomorrows movie: Resident Evil: Extinction.




  2. Gary Floyd
    July starts tomorrow, and I've decided to do something new for this Blog for the month: 31 Days of the Dead.
     
    What's that? Well, in short, it's a review of a Zombie Movie each day. Here's the thing though: For the large part, I'm going to be avoiding the usual suspects, such as Romero, "Shaun of the Dead", Fulci, and the "Return of the Living Dead" series. Ok, you will get one "Resident Evil" movie reviewed. Why am I avoiding the "usual suspects"? Because, while I do love most of the usual suspects, I really can't say anything else about them that hasn't been said already. This is more for less talked about movies such as "Night of the Creeps", "The Dead Pit", "The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue", "Horror Rises from the Tomb", and others.
     
    Hope you like it, and remember, feedback and comments are always appreciated.
  4. Gary Floyd

    RIP Tim Russert

    By Gary Floyd,

    -Tim Russert died at 58 today. Dude was one of the last great Journalists around, and one of the few people in the news media that I have respect for. RIP man.

    -I'm going to my sister's graduation tomorrow. Should be fun.

    -I'm also going to give Lil' Wayne's new album a listen sometime this week. Does it live up to all the hype?

    -I'll go back to the worst horror movies of all time in the days ahead as well. I'm almost finished BTW.
  6. Gary Floyd
    Nearly three years ago, I created this thread. It wasn't supposed to become as big as it currently is. I thought "Hey, this will end in a few weeks. Everyone will forget it exists, like all my other threads." Instead, it may be the biggest thread in the CE folder. You'd think I'd be happy to be the creator of such a popular thread. Well, I'm not.
     
    Why? Because to be honest, I think it's a horrible thread. I know, I know, I'm just bitching. Looking back, I probably should have seen this coming. That still doesn't excuse me or the thread though, and when this election and campaign and whatnot is finally over, the thread needs to be moved into classics. Why? Because of these reasons:
     

    Marvin-God, I know he's annoying, but he may have brought it to new levels here, derailing the thread and trolling by constantly kissing the already crusty ass of Glenn Beck, and being horrible. Everyone hates him, and his antics in this thread may already be the stuff of TSM legend. It's practically made for TSM classics. Marney-Lady, I doubt you are reading this. That out of the way, the reason I can't stand you has nothing to do with your political views, and has everything to do with: blatant troll like responses such as "Watch me care" which read like they could have come from an 14 year old, "B.O. Hussein" and calling him "Your Mullatto saviour", among other racist responses-it all has to do with you and your attitude, which consists of acting like an internet tough guy, then getting upset when people call you out on that. Superjerk, NoCalMike, etc-Not suprising, they are pretty much just repeating the same talking points over and over again. Nothing new, but it's annoying. Czech: Hillary fan boy-I like ya Czech, I really do. That out of the way, voting for Hillary just to spite Obama is really immature. Cheesalaisgood: Ron Paul Cheerleader-Like you are suprised. He also bought into some conspiracy loving documentary. I am fully convinced he's a truther. Narcoleptic Jumper: Ron Paul Cheerleader and Truther-I need not say more. I rest my case. 
    Kotz came back briefly today, and he's right: The Campaign '08 thread is terrible, and needs to be put to an end. Just do it when it's all over, and put it in the classics folder where it belongs
  7. Gary Floyd
    -Deep in the Woods (2000)-Eh, mostly uneventful about a group of artists hunted by a slasher. You've seen it before, and you've seen it done better.
     
    -Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)-Though more action than horror, this badass little entry was a hit in it's home country, and helped bring the new wave of French Horror. Basically, a dude and his Native American Friend (played by Mark Dacascos from that horrible Double Dragon movie) in 18th Century France must solve the mystery behind a group of killings caused by a beast (created by Jim Henson's Workshop).
     
    -Trouble Every Day (2001)-Despite being about sex and cannibalism, and a cool score by The Tindersticks, this is really just a dull, pretentious art house flick that just happens to have graphic sex and gore.
     
    -Irréversible (2002)- Ouch. The most brutal, unflinching tale of rape and revenge since I Spit on Your Grave contains an ugly bludgening and a 9 minute rape scene. The movie is told in backwards time (like Memento), but it still packs an ugly as hell punch.
     
    -Bloody Mallory (2002)-Ugh. A bad Horror/Comedy about a group of Paranormal Fighters that fuck around for the hell of it. If the Anti-Catholic sentiment doesn't offend you, the sub par Troma level humor and bad Buffy rip-off of a plot will.
     
    -In My Skin (2002)-A woman recieves a disfiguring accident, and becomes fascinated by the wound...and then things get uncomfortable. A really painful (not in the bad sense) movie about a woman's erotic obsession with self mutilation. As far as Artsy French horror goes, this is a a major step up from "Trouble Every Day."
     
    -Maléfique (2002)-Four inmates sharing a cell find a book of the occult. As you can guess, things go bad. Gory, suspense filled movie just recently got a U.S. DVD release after several years of online hype.
     
    -High Tension (2003)-The movie that helped define the current wave of violent but suspensful French Horror may have a dreadful twist, but it's still a great horror movie. An impressive debut that shows recent slashers like Hatchet how it's done.
     
    -They Came Back (2004)-The dead have come back. Not to consume our flesh, but to live their lives again. Not gory, but still haunting, those expecting a straight forward zombie movie will be disappointed. Those looking for something different will be pleased.
     
    -Sheitan (2006)-Watchable but mediocre tale of "Hostel" like antics (no, not torture) and satanism. The real reason to watch this is Vincent Cassel, who's a hoot.
     
    -Them (2006)-No, not a remake of the legendary Giant Ant movie. Here, a couple in an isolated country home, only to find themselves fighting for their lives against hooded assailants. Not a gorefest, but a great suspense flick with plenty of tense moments.
     
    -Frontier(s) (2007)-A group of protestors find themselvs in deep shit when they run into a family of Nazi cannibals. While hardly original, (echoes of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Descent, Hostel, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and other movies fill this sucker), it's still a fun little gorefest that actually got taken out of the "8 Fims to Die For" competition because of it's NC-17 rating.
     
    -Inside (2007)-The best recent French horror movie so far (and the best horror movie of the year so far-it came to the U.S. in April) is an excellent blend of stomach churning gore and nail biting suspense. The premise is simple, but effective: A pregnant woman is terrorized in her house by a madwoman who wants what's inside of her. I won't say anything else. Just see it, you won't regret it.
  8. Gary Floyd
    I know, I know, LOL France. Well, they've given us some great horror movies in the past, and as of late, they are kicking our ass in the quality horror department ("Inside" is the best horror movie to come out this year.) Here's part 1, which takes a look at older French Horror Moves. Part 2 (Recent Ones) is tomorrow.
     
    -Un Chien Andalou (1929)-Silent Surrealist movie. Ever heard of/seen that weird black and white silent movie that opens with an eyeball slit open by a straight razor? This is that movie.
     
    -Diabolique (1955)-Awesome, Hitchcock like tale of suspense about two women who kill a cruel headmaster. But is he really dead? Excellent all around, and one of the best foreign horror movies ever made.
     
    -Eyes Without a Face (1960)-The best French Horror movie ever made IMO, this movie is about a Surgeon who kidnaps women and removes their faces (complete with surgical gore!) to help restore his daughter's face. A tragic, dreamlike movie, with one of the creepiest (and simplist) masks in horror history. Fun fact: Michael Meyer's mask was inspired by the one here. Oh, and yes, Les Yeux Sans Visage does translate to the movie's title.
     
    -Rape of the Vampire (1967)-Old Jean Rollin movie (not the first one mentioned here) is really two erotic horror tales in one, involving three girls who may be vampires.
     
    -The Tenant (1976)-Roman Polanski's other horror tale (the others include "Repulsion", "The Fearless Vampire Killers", and "Rosemary's Baby"), this movie about a Tenant slowly loosing his mind is a classic piece of paranoia that everybody should see.
     
    -The Grapes of Death (1978)-Jean Rollin's unique take on the zombie movie deals with pesticide in the vineyards creating zombie like killers. Atmospheric but never slow, it should make zombie fans happy. What won't make zombie fans happy is Rollins' other zombie movie, the awful in every way Zombie Lake (1981).
     
    -Living Dead Girl (1982)-Rollin's third zombie movie is better this time around, with enough blood and sex (including a gratuitous lesbian scene) to make Explotation fans happy. Not as good as Grapes of Death though.
     
     
  10. Gary Floyd
    Normally, I think remakes are a horrible idea. Here's 10 movies that I would actually like to see get remade.
     
    10.) The Thirsty Dead-A boring 1970's exploitation quickie from the Philippines about Beautiful young women being kidnapped by a blood cult. The premise may seem fun, but it's a pretty dull, tame affair, that has a PG rating. An updated, R-rated version probably wouldn't hurt.
     
    9.) Curse of the Screaming Dead-Painfully bad zombie movie that may be the "Manos" of zombie movies. Even if a remake of it was made-and it ended up sucking-it wouldn't be worse than the original.
     
    8.) Grizzly-Everyone has seen this movie. It's one of those forgettable nature's revenge movies that came after "Jaws." A remake wouldn't be that bad.
     
    7.) Body Melt-I like this movie, I really do. That out of the way, it makes no sense, and the plot is basically a series of vignettes. A remake with a clearer plot-that kept the gory comedy of the original-would probably be a good idea.
     
    6.) Carnosaur-I love this movie-it's so inept, it's hilarious. Plus, it has Clint Howard telling disgusting stories to people in a diner. That out of the way, it's not faithful to the book at all, and an remake that's more faithful to the source material would be great.
     
    5.) The Dark-Bad in every sense of the word evil alien movie produced by Dick Clark of all people.
     
    4.) Hard Rock Zombies-Horrible attempt at Horror/Comedy that tries too hard and succeeds at nothing. Make it a "Spinal Tap" style spoof.
     
    3.) The Manitou-Decent adaptation of a story by an excellent author in Graham Masterson. I like it, but a remake wouldn't hurt.
     
    2.) The Ghastly Ones-Andy Milligan is one of those early, H.G. Lewis style gore directors who was inept, but at least had laughable movies-that were also too talky. Do a remake that cuts some of the talk.
     
    1.) The Corpse Grinders-Ever see a movie that you are amazed escaped MST3K? Here's one for you, fromt he director of "Girl with the Golden Boots" and the man that gave you "Eegah!" The plot: A local cat food producer uses a corpse grinding machine on human copses found in a graveyard, and uses the bits in cat food. Side effects include murderous felines. I say remake it as a splatter comedy (but don't try too hard to be campy-ie play it straight, that helps the comedy.)
  12. Gary Floyd

    Ch-ch-changes

    By Gary Floyd,

    -In case you guys didn't notice, or you're an idiot, TSM has changed ownership. Here's some of what has happened over the last few days:
     
    . Leena is back, and not with stolen accounts. Fortunately, she's been regulated to Whiney Bitches, and can't annoy us anymore.
    . Damaramu is back also. I never got to fully experience him before his banning, so maybe I can see what all the fuss was about.
    . netslob, widpegaus, and CronoT will remain banned. Nobody wants them to return. Actually, EHME wants WP to return, but everyone knows EHME sucks.
    . Not TSM related, but Christ, Marney is horrible.
    . Cheech is now going to try to clean up the WWE folder. To that, I say good luck-you'll need it.
     
    -Now to other news-Spring break is over for me after today. So much for r & r.
     
    -"Hur Hur, them jiggaboos!" Again, Marney is horrible.
     
    -"South Park" last Wednesday was pretty good, though a second viewng of the episode has changed my previous opinion. Also, "Breastiary in Nippopolis."
     
    -Awkward Lapdance is... wow. This has to be Hotbutter Spoontoaster, only not as funny.
     
     
  13. Gary Floyd
    -Czech, NYU, Danny Dubya, and CWM are now running things here. I like that. Pay your respects.
     
    -I've been doing more reviews on IMDB lately, mostly of weird, obscure horror movies, though I also did one recently of "Leonard Part 6."
     
    -Marvin will be suspended soon. Honestly, I'm suprised the guy hasn't been banned yet. He managed to become the 2nd worst poster on this board (worst is still Deon), though for a while, Marvin was the worst.
     
    Also: Come on Deon, Will Farrell as an avatar? Oh wait, this is Deon...
     
    -Now that the list of best moments in music, I'll most likely do a list of underrated/underappreciated albums.
  14. Gary Floyd

    Heavy Metal

    By Gary Floyd,

    Head bangers in leather
    Sparks fly in the dead of the night
    It all comes together
    When they shoot out the lights
    50,000 watts of power
    And it's pushin' overload
    The beast is ready to devour
    All the metal they can hold
    Reachin' overload
    Start to explode

    Chorus:
    It's your one way ticket to midnight
    Call it Heavy Metal
    Higher than high, feelin' just right
    Call it Heavy Metal
    Desperation on a red line
    Call it Heavy Metal noise

    Tight pants and lipstick
    She's riding on razor's edge
    She holds her own against the boys
    Yea, cuts through the crowd just like a wedge
    Ohh, can you feel the static
    So many contacts being made
    We've got up front fanatics
    Tearing down the barricade
    To reach the stage
    Can you feel the rage

    [Chorus]
  16. Gary Floyd

    #01

    By Gary Floyd,

    1.) Led Zeppelin, a groupie, and a Mudshark

    Everyone knows this story. It may be the greatest example of rock star debauchery that ever occured. Oh sure, some of you may mention something that occured at a Motley Cru tour or whatever, but here's the guy's that set the standard.

    The story: It's 1969. Led Zeppelin are on tour with Vanilla fudge. On the night of July 27, Zep invites a groupie back stage, and well, she's willing to do anything. So they tie her up, and proceed to stuff bits and slices of a mudshark into her pussy and asshole. Other's say it was a Red Snapper. Either way, they stuffed her with fish.

    There are several accounts as to what really happened. Zappa did a song about it (that can be heard on the live album Filmore East-June 1971.) To this day, it remains one of the most talked about moments in rock star perversion. Either way, in my opinion, it's the greatest story in music history.

    So there you go, the countdown is over. Here's a recap:

    12.) Luther Campbell gets a blowjob on Stage.
    11.) Screamin' Jay Hawkins: Father to 57 Children.
    10) Throbbing Gristle's First Gig.
    9.) Elvis orders a Sandwich.
    8.) John Fogerty sued for self plagerisim (no, not the poster).
    7.) Cyntheia teh cock.
    6.) The Story of Dopesmoker.
    5.) Ozzy Satisfies His Hunger.
    4.) Ozzy Remembers the Alamo.
    3.) Mingus Destroy's his Bass.
    2.) The Story of Mayhem.
    1.) Led Zeppelin,a groupie, and a mudshark.
  17. Gary Floyd

    Name Change; #02

    By Gary Floyd,

    I'm no longer gary floyd. I'm now Dr. Obrero.
     
    Anyways, back to the countdown to the best stories in music.
     

     
    2.) The Story of Mayhem.
     
    Black Metal is a fascinating thing when you think about it. It started thanks to Speed Metal band Venom (who's 1982 album was called Black Metal), as well as help from bands like Bathory, Celtic Frost, and Mercyful Fate. However, Black Metal is most notorious in Norway, thanks largely to the band Mayhem, who have lived up to their name.
     
    Mayhem was founded in 1984 by guitarist Euronymous, Bassist Necrobutcher, and some other guys with names that aren't theatrical. Their debut album, an EP called Deathcrush, was released in 1987. Frontman Maniac left the band, and was replaced by a guy named Per Yngve Ohlin, also known as dead. Dead wasn't all that right in the brain matter, so to speak: He would inhale a dead raven he kept in a plastic bag, cut himself on stage, and several other pleasent activities. He only appeared on one album, the live album Live in Leipzig. He ended up shooting himself in the head, the result of which can be seen on the picture you see on this entry, a live bootleg called Dawn of Black Hearts.
     
    So, irony of all ironies, Dead was well...dead. Better yet, his suicide note said "Excuse all the blood." Interestingly, one of the band members (I think it was Euronymous) not only took a picture of dead, but used skull fragments on a necklace, and used some of the brain matter in a stew.
     
    Shockingly, Necrobutcher left the band, and was repleaced by Varg Vikernes, who also had a one man project named Burzum (both Mayhem and Burzum are to this day major influences on Black Metal.) The band went on to record the album De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, which is considered the band's masterpiece. Things were still shaky though.
     
    Varg and Euronymous didn't exactly get along. To make a long story short, Varg killed Euronymous in his apartment in Oslo, stabbing him with a knife. Varg was arrested, though there's more to the story. You see, Varg was also tied to several church burnings (he denies involvement, but I doubt it), and police found several explosives, like dynamite, in his apartment. He also is a white supremacist and fan of Hitler.
     
    Anyways, De Mysteriis came out in 1994 (as did Burzum's Hvis Lyset Tar Oss, also considered his best work.) It wouldn't be three years until the world heard from Mayhem. Original frontman Maniac appeared on three albums-Wolf's Lair Abyss, Grand Declaration of War, and Chimera. De Mysteriis frontman Attila returned for their latest album, Ordo Ad Chao. Drummer Hellhammer remains in the band (and is actually a pretty damn good drummer), Varg remains in jail (he attempted an escape, and did two shitty ambient albums while in incarceration), and Dead remains...dead.
     
    Now that folks, is fucking metal.
  19. Gary Floyd

    #4-3

    By Gary Floyd,

    4.) Ozzy Remembers the Alamo

    Fun fact-Ozzy is the only musician to be mentioned on this list twice. Here's the story, though I'm pretty sure you know it by now: It's 1982, and Ozzy's comeback is now in full effect. Anyways, while on tour, one night, he gets really drunk (big surprise, I know), and puts on one of his wife's dresses. He then stumbles outside, towards the Alamo, and takes a leak on it. Yep, he pees on the Alamo. Oh, and yes, he was arrested.



    3.) Mingus Destroys his Bass

    Charles Mingus was one of the most gifted jazz musicians of all time. Czech is a huge fan of his. He was also a manic depressive, who was prone to doing all kinds of shit in concerts. One night, people were talking too much during one of his concerts, something Mingus didn't particularly like. So, in a fit of rage, he picks up his bass (which was an upright acoustic bass) and smashed it to bits.

    Yep, before The Who destroyed their guitar on The Smothers Brothers, before Hendrix set his guitar on fire, there was Mingus obliterating his bass. He's the one who started it all.
  20. Gary Floyd

    #6-5

    By Gary Floyd,

    6.) The Story of Dopesmoker

    The story behind Dopesmoker-which may be the ultimate stoner album-is a fascinating one, or at least I think so.

    Sleep were a Doom/Stoner Metal band, who's previous album Sleep's Holy Mountain had become highly acclaimed in the underground, and for good reason too-it was a logical, nearly flawless continuation of Black Sabbath's stoned groove that many had tried, but only some had succeeded. London Records, seeing something big, signed Sleep, though the album itself-obviously the result of constant pot smoking-wasn't what they wanted. It was called Dopesmoker, an album that took two years to complete, and was a one hour long, slow, and heavy as fuck song-a concept album about a group of Holy Men who decide to get really fucking baked.

    London Records weren't happy with the end result, so Sleep tried to rework it as a six part, 52 minute album titled Jerusalem. The label was still unhappy, and dropped the band, who then broke up. Interestingly enough, two of the band members smoked so much pot, that they became born again Christians.

    Interestingly enough, Jerusalem was relased in 1999, and the original album Dopesmoker finally saw the light of day in 2003 thanks to an indie label. Oh, and yes, it really does live up to the hype.



    5.) Ozzy Satisfies His Hunger

    It's 1980. Ozzy has signed a deal with a new label, and he really needs a comeback. One night, he and his wife Sharon are at a meeting with record execs, he has a plan to release some doves to wow them. Well, this plan isn't going the way he hoped, so he has a change of plans.

    He takes a dove, and bites it's head off in front of the execs.

    Unsurprisingly, the execs are none too pleased at this, and have security escort him. None the less, it was the start od his solo infamy, and his career later took off. Maybe it turned out to be good luck.
  21. Gary Floyd
    -First of all, I made it to round two of the Posters Tournament, which makes me happy. I even beat veteran and established poster Youth N Asia, which surprises me. To those who voted for me, I say thanks, and to those who didn't, that's ok, as long as you left kind words. Will I win round two? Probably not, but the fact that some of you think I'm a good or improved poster is great.
     
    Also, congrats to Lushus, Venkman, King Kamala, Man in Blak, Carnival, and yes, even Matt Young, for making it to round two. I actually was rooting for Matt, as he could be the underdog of the year. Too bad it left a debacle involving him and Cena's Writer, but I'll give Matt the edge for not sucking up to Hugo Chavez. Also, unlike CW, he didn't vote for Carlito Brigante over King Kamala.
     
    -Also, is it just me, or is Carlito Brigante really boring and predictable now. He repeats the same insults adnauseum, seems to call everybody fags, and is basically boring now. he's still scream at the moniter horrible though.
     
    -Recent discovery: Primordial's 2007 album To The Nameless Dead, a great blend of Black Metal, Celtic music, and folk that never feels forced, and puts Viking Metal to shame. I never did like Viking Metal though. I wish I had known about it in 2007, because it would have made it in my best albums of 2007 list.
     
    -Finally, look for my 12 best moments in music history to return to this blog soon.
  22. Gary Floyd
    -Milky made a much needed return, helping to make TSM interesting again.
     
    -Leena was banned for being a cunt who takes the internet as serious business, and made many aborted attempts at a return.
     
    -Ron Paul supporters are fucking crazy.
     
    -Chavez didn't become President for life (thank God), thus hurting the feelings of Cena's Writer and C-Bacon.
     
    -Huckabee and Romney got more support, while Rudy continues to tank.
     
    -Rosie became the worst fucking celebrity on Earth, left The View, revealed she's a Truther, and the list goes on.
     
    -Brittney attempted a comeback...and failed.
     
    -Something happened involving Chris Benoit...wildpegasus han't been heard from since.
     
    -Hillary lost some footing in grounds to her goal to become president.
     
    -Larry Craig has a wide stance, if you get my drift (hurr hurr hurr)
     
    -Athiests yelled at each other on Youtube. So much for religion being the blame for everything. Here's a rule: guys who are teenagers and/or live at home with there parents should not be Athiests, because they can't say things intelligently. (teens and people who live at home, not Athiests.)
     
    -Fark finally joined the ranks of Free Republic and Democratic Underground, as it is now a haven for truthers, trolls, conservative nutjobs, wanna be communists, and angry Athiests.
     
    -Anna Nicole died. Her last movie is
    Oh, and yes, that's Chyna. Speaking of which, her appearence on Larry King was something else. She'll be on "Celebrity Rehab" in January, and the fact that such a show exists kills my soul a bit. 
    -Fuck Chocolate Rain, this is the best video on Youtube.
     
    -"Grindhouse" tanked, yet "Alvin and the chipmunks" made a ton of cash. For fuck's sake America. Oh, and "No Country for Old Men" is the best movie of the year.
     
    -Deon became the worst poster on TSM, and had his name changed to Douchebag. Carlito Brigante's stupidity continues unabated, as he got a girl pregnant and is getting in another fight. To quote snuffbox, "One day, ehme, the internet will take you as seriously as you take it."
  23. Gary Floyd

    2007 Music Review

    By Gary Floyd,

    Best Albums: LCD Soundsystem-Sound of Silver, Jay Z-American Gangster, Grinderman-Grinderman, Alcest -Souvenirs d'Un Autre Monde, !!!-Myth Takes.
     
    Worst Albums: Timbaland-Shock Value, The Stooges-The Weirdness
     
    Best Song: Jay Z-"Roc Boys" Alcest-"Les Iris"
     
    Worst Song: Soulja Boy-"Crank That Soulja Boy", Avril-"Girlfriend", Fergie-"Big Girls Don't Cry"
     
    Most Disappointing: Wu Tang Clan-The 8 Diagrams. Half a good, album half a bad one. Also, Interpol-Our Love to Admire
     
    Worst Band: Angels & Airwaves. Tom Delonge is a pretentious faggot.
     
    Enough Already: Fergie, Daughtry
     
    Unwarranted Return: Garth Brooks
     
    Guilty Pleasure: NiN-Year Zero. Probably the first NiN album I like.
     
    Best Artist: James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem), Jay-Z, Neige (Alcest)
     
    Worst Artist: Tom Delonge (Angels & Airwaves), Fergie
     
    Overhyped: Arcade Fire, M.I.A., Spoon, Arctic Monkeys, Amy Winehouse, Iron & Wine, New Pornographers, Feist
     
    Underhyped: Angels of Light, The Angelic Process, Dalek, Substanz T, The Giallo's Flame.
  24. Gary Floyd

    See No Evil: A Review

    By Gary Floyd,

    How do you make a slasher flick with potential a bad movie? When you are WWE Films.
     
    First things first: See No Evil is not the first movie WWE films produced, in spite of what some will tell you. It was actually co-producer of Scorpian King and The Rundown (the latter a pretty damn good action flick). It is the first though, in movies that had potential to be to be a watchable B-Movie, but somehow manages to fuck it all up.
     
    The plot: A group of juvenile delinquents who you don't really give two shits about have to clean up an "abandoned" hotel, only to run into a reclusive psychopath with mommy-issues named Jacob Goodnight (played by Glenn "Kane" Jacobs), who proceeds to knock them off. Oh, and he loves gouging out his victims eyes (hence the title, which is essentialy a bad pun. Better than the previous title of Eye Scream Man, though the thought of Kane as a killer ice cream man is amusing. Hell, he was a dentist.)
     
    While there's some decent kills (including a nice bit with a cellphone), the movie also manages to get this right: sleaze. The flick oozes with the kind of seedy vibe found in late 70's and 80's era exploitation movies. Unfortunately, Jacob is not exactly a very threatening villain, as he's just another stock slasher with mother issues. Oh, and we get to see him punish the pope. Yep, Vince McMahon was involved with it!
     
    Another problem is the filming style. The whole thing, directed by former porn director Gregory Dark (he of New Wave Hookers and White Bun Busters fame) feels more like Saw lite instead of a slasher movie. What could have been a fun throwback to 70's and 80's slasher flicks like The Toolbox Murders and The Slayer ends up being another hyper edited, annoying horror flick. In short: Once again WWE films fails, only here it's for the first time.
     
    Oh, and no Vince, people do not want to see Kane spank it.
     
    Rating: 3 out of 10.
  25. Gary Floyd

    Christmas Albums

    By Gary Floyd,

    Yeah, Christmas Albums
     

    The Christmas Cocktails series are worth every penny. That's good too, since they are cheap. Loungy takes on old Christmas classics, and Dean Martin (among others)
     

    Christmas on Death Row boasts one awesome song in Snoop's "Santa Claus goes to the Ghetto", and a whole bunch of filler-including cliched gangsta rap, r&b, and new jack swing.
     
     

    Mariah's album has "All I Want for Christmas Is You" and "Miss You Most (At Christmas Time)". It's worth it for those alone.
     

    Yeah, I don't know what they were thinking either.
     

    Jethro Tull's Christmas album is actually one of the better Christmas albums, in the fact that you can listen to it regularly. Granted, it's no Thick as a Brick or A Passion Play, but it's still pretty good.
     
     
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