CanadianGuitarist

Vader getting the belt at Survivor Series is probably true, as the next month's IYH was subtitled It's Time. I remember hearing that he was initially supposed to win it then, too. And I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but I don't like your use of Montreal in "just refusing".

Tough luck to the two of you who didn't do write-ups. Voting can begin.

It was weird enough to see him up there after 18. But outright after 36? Unbelievable.

Just found some at the local liquory. 23.75 for 15 is about five dollars cheaper than what I normally pay for Blue. Plus, I'm all business with my drinking tonight, and it's 6.1%. It's not terrible, but I may sing a different song tomorrow morning.

I dreamed last night that CanadianChris won the hockey pool, and celebrated with his wife by brandishing the 10000 dollar winner's cheque he received. He and his wife were the guy who plays Job and Amy Poehler from Blades of Glory, but dressed and acting sensibly. Oh yeah, that was the lead to SportsCentre's opening highlights package. The rest of the video featured highlights of my backyard wrestling career. Since someone's going to ask: I can't find a picture of it, but "cheques will not be honoured".

Okay, that does it. Speaking in my capacity as an administrator, this thread is dangerously close to being closed due to excessive shitty posting. This thread plays host to some of the most insipid bitching this community has ever seen outside of Site Feedback during big shake-ups. Its redeeming qualities are few. Most gripes expressed here are thoroughly inconsequential, poorly articulated, or both. Suck less or joke punishments will be levied on posters commensurate with their participation in this black hole, myself included. That coming off the heels of Milky's awesome Simpsons reference and post? Unforgivable. Not so much that I'm outraged with your stance against this thread, rather: I wanted to post with "uhhhh" after Milky. Son of a bitch!

Updated. Sorry.

Tom Brokaw was fuckin great in Homer In Space. "Just imagine the logistics of such exploration. It could have millions of applications here on earth, everything from watchmaking to watch repair" "They're a colourful bunch, they've been dubbed the three musketeers" "And we laugh legitimately. There's a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician, and a statistician."

Can the mods pm those who don't have write-ups submitted? My computer is arife with spyware and is hanging by a thread. To that end, we'll extend the writeup deadline til Tuesday night at midnight Pacific.

To that end, check out the NHL draft. The line I used was the very catalyst for this thread, which I'd wanted to do for a while but never got going.

Simpson Tide, Homer Goes To College, and Lisa's Rival were among six or seven left on the cutting room floor.

For the record, the defenceman I couldn't stand but was going to draft in Manson's place was Darius Kasparitis. (I went with Barilko instead). The 'curious stat' I eluded to: I had thought (incorrectly) that every player from Canada's 2002 Olympic team was drafted, save one: Simon Gagne. As CC and I discussed via PM, I had forgot about Eric Brewer. The teams that won the 1991 Canada Cup, 1996 World Cup, and 2004 World Cup were surprisingly poorly represented.

We have write-ups for five of the fourteen teams. Gert still needs a captain, but all lines are submitted. I'm going to be Nazi about the write-up deadline. If you don't sell us on your team by Monday night, tough luck. Starting at 12:01 Tuesday, you can pm me your rankings: Exclude your own team, and rate the others on a 1-13 scale. I'll tally the results (I'm hoping this can occur Wednesday on my day off. More likely, it'll be between my shifts later in the week. I work days Thursday and afternoons Friday, so I have some downtime to get everything together). I'll heed CC's suggestion. All fourteen teams make the playoffs, with 3-14, 4-13, etc. Teams 1 and 2 get a bye. From there, I'll assign a selection of bi-partisan GM's to pick a winner. (I'll repost that criteria shortly). For the greater good, I have no problem with JJ doing Smartly's synopsis.

Coming off the heels of a Simpsons line I used in the hockey draft: Couple summers ago, The Comedy Network had a draw. The five winners were allowed to pick their seven favourite episodes of The Simpsons, and air them for a week. Here's an episode guide. Here's what I came up with, chronologically: 1) Homer at the Bat: Mr. Burns bets $1,000,000 that his company team can beat a competing plant's team. In order to do so, he replaced the regular company team with new security guard Roger Clemens, new janitor Wade Boggs, lunchroom cashier Ken Griffey Jr., and other new employees like Steve Sax, Don Mattingly, Ozzie Smith, Darryl Strawberry, Jose Canseco, and Mike Scoscia (who runs the solid contaminate encapsulator). Terry Cashman also guest stars. 2) The Otto Show: Otto loses his job driving the school bus, partially because he doesn't have a driver's license, and, after being kicked out of his apartment, goes to live with the Simpsons. Spinal Tap guest star. 3) Kamp Krusty: Bart and Lisa spend six weeks at Camp Krusty. However, the camp is not what it seems, as Bart and Lisa quickly find out. 4) Deep Space Homer: After seeing their ratings decline, NASA decides to send Joe Average to space. In this case, Joe Average is Homer Simpson. James Taylor, and Buzz Aldrin guest star. 5) The Joy of Sect: Along with the majority of Springfield, Homer and company are lured into the Movementarian cult by a slick pamphlet and tantalizing promises. But as Marge begins to realize that the cult only has money on its mind, she must try her hand at deprogramming to rescue her family. 6) A Tale of Two Springfields: After Springfield's telephone area code splits in two, Homer spearheads a movement to divide the town itself in half along the new area code line. Guest starring The Who. 7) How I Spent My Strummer Vacation: Homer is secretly videotaped complaining about his family while in cab (a la Taxi Cab Confessions). In an effort to help him regroup, Marge, Bart, Lisa and little Maggie send him to Mick Jagger's (playing himself) Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy camp. Once there, Homer lives the life of a rock star, taught to him by the likes of Sir Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Lenny Kravitz, Elvis Costello, Tom Petty and Brian Setzer, all of whom guest star as themselves.

Also, even though I got the AD reference in JJ's team name (and let's keep the David Cross jokes to a minimum), it reminded me of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer goes back to college, and the NRC shows up at the power plant. "No, we're not a nuclear plant. We make cookies here, uh, that's right, cookies. Mr. Burns old-fashioned, good time, extra-chewy...."

Either or. Although, my plan is to insert them after each team's lines.

I'll repost the playoff tree and rulings, but they're posted in the draft stage as well.

I've PM'ed Gert and Treble to get their lines. From there, you'll have until Monday night at midnight pacific to 'sell' your team to all of us. Starting at 12:01 Tuesday, you can PM me your rankings. I'll tally them up, and the playoffs will begin.

Edit: After spending four days limping my computer through a virus/spy sweep, we're forseeably back up and running. For the record, I have had this PC since 2006. In nearly three years of porn and gambling online, not a single problem. SNEAKERS O FUCKING TOOLE sent my computer into a tailspin. Double edit: I kind of like the story above, so even six months later, I'll keep it....anyway, I've brought up the draft in conversation a few times with people who aren't posters here. In case any regulars want to have a look at it, I eliminated the masters write-up/line sheet, and eventually will put up a draft order thing. 1) The Great Ones (CanadianChris) Forwards: Wayne Gretzky, Guy Lafleur, Denis Savard , Bob Gainey, Lanny McDonald, Boom-Boom Geoffrion, Rod BrindAmour, Brian Propp, John Tonelli, Dale Hunter, Rick Tocchet, Wendel Clark Defence: Eddie Shore, Slava Fetisov, Borje Salming, Jacques Lapierrere, JC Tremblay, Charlie Huddy Goalies: Vladislav Tretiak, Turk Broda Coach: Bob Johnson 2) The Calgary Silly Nannies (EMHE) Forwards: Mario Lemieux, Jarome Iginla, Frank Mahovlich, Joe Mullen, Alex Mogilny, Dirk Graham, Vincent Damphousse, Cliff Ronning, Patrik Elias, Geoff Sanderson, Scott Mellanby Defence: Larry Robinson, Dion Phaneuf, Gary F'n Suter, Randy Carlyle, Al Iafrate, Andrei Markov Goalies: Eddie Belfour, Tom Barrasso Coach: Ken Hitchcock 3)The Canadian Guitarists (CG) Forwards: Brett Hull, Sergei Fedorov, Mike Gartner, Jari Kurri, Doug Gilmour, Eric Lindros, Kevin Stevens, Claude Lemieux, Pat Verbeek, Hakan Loob, Kirk Muller, Peter McNab Defence: Ed Jovanovski, Mathieu Schneider, Teppo Numminen, Ken Daneyko, Bob Baun, Bill Barilko Goalies: Patrick Roy, Roberto Luongo Coach: Roger Neilson 4) Gordie's Gang (Angle) Forwards: Gordie Howe, Peter Statsny, Brendan Shanahan, Glenn Anderson, Pierre Turgeon, Yvan Cournoyer, Pavel Datsyuk, Valeri Kharlamov, Vladimir Krutov, Tomas Holmstrom, Trevor Linden Defence: Scott Stevens, Phil Housley, Tom Johnson, Doug Wilson, Bill Quackenbush, Ken Jonsson Goalies: Jacques Plante, Chris Osgood Coach: Dick Irvin 5) Five For Fighting (UndertakerHart) Forwards: Mark Messier, Teemu Selanne, Adam Oates, Tiger Williams, Fuckin Theo Fleury*, Henri Richard, Darren McCarty, Joffrey Lupul, Sean Avery, Slava Kozlov, Adam Graves, Ryan Smyth** Defence: Raymond Bourque, Eric Desjardins, Adam Foote, Ulf F'n Samuelsson, Derian Hatcher, Craig Hartsburg Goalies: Mike Vernon Coach: Mike Keenan 6) Bobby and Bossy's Boys (909) Forwards: Mike Bossy, Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg, Dino Ciccarelli, Clark Gillies, Bernie Federko, Igor Larianov, Steve Larmer, Butch Goring, Bob Probert, Owen Nolan, Esa Tikannen Defence: Bobby Orr, Rob Blake, Zdeno Chara, Marty McSorley, Petr Svoboda Goalies: Grant Fuhr, Rogie Vachon Coach: Pat Burns 7) Gert Forwards: Phil Esposito, Jaromir Jagr, Ted Lindsay, Stan Mikita, Mark Recchi, Jeremy F'n Roenick, Mats Naslund, Rick Vaive, Rick Kehoe, Dave Schultz, Barry Pederson, John Ogrodnick Defence: Denis Potvin, Red Kelly, Pierre Pilote, Sandis Ozolinsh, Dave Babych, Dave Manson Goalies: Bill Durnan, Mike Richter Coach: Glen Sather 8) The Extreme Dream Team (MFerExtreme) Forwards: Maurice "Rocket" Richard, Bryan Trottier, Alex Delvecchio, Jean Ratelle, Norm Ullman, John Leclair, Jere Lehtinen, Dave Taylor, Sid Abel, Martin St. Louis, Bill Barber, Dickie Moore Defence: Chris Pronger, Vladimir Konstantinov, Kevin Lowe, Harry Howell, Allan Stanley, Bill Gadsby Goalies: Terry Sawchuk, Billy Smith Coach: Al Arbour 9) The Northern Lights Five (Nskie) Forwards: Sidney Crosby, Luc Robitaille, Cam Neely, Pat LaConcussion, Joe Thornton, Howie Morenz, Bernie Nicholls, Peter Bondra, Terry O'Reilly, Stephane Richer, Joe Juneau, Tony Amonte Defence: Doug Harvey, Rod Langway, Dit Clapper, Kevin Hatcher, Mike Ramsey, Lyle Odelein Goalies: Ken Dryden, Pelle Lindbergh Coach: Don Cherry 10) The Jamaican Vocations (Treble) Forwards: Jean Beliveau, Darryl Sittler, Dave Andreychuk, Evgeni Malkin, Dave Keon, Gary Roberts, Rick Nash, Rick Middleton, Steve Thomas, Tie Domi, Alex Kovalev, Thomas Steen Defence: Al MacInnis, Scott Niedermayer, Serge Savard, Brad McCrimmon, James Patrick, Tomas Kaberle Goalies: Tony Esposito, Curtis Joseph Coach: Scotty Bowman 11) Clorox Leetch (Smartly Pretty) Forwards: Bobby Hull, Alex Ovechkin, Joe Niuewendyk, Dany Heatley, Daniel Alfreddson, Jason Spezza, Andy Bathgate, Rod Gilbert, Ilya Kovalchuk, Alex Tanguay, Michael Peca, Mike York Defence: Brian Leetch, Larry Murphy, Babe Pratt, Earl Siebert, Matias Ohlund, Wade Redden Goalies: Glenn Hall, John Vanbiesbrouck Coach: Herb Brooks 12) JJ Johnson Forwards: Mats Sundin, Mike Modano, Dale Hawerchuk, Keith Tkachuk, Brian Bellows, Tim Kerr, Ziggy Palffy, Markus Naslund, Doug Weight, Marian Hossa, Vince Lecavalier, Milan Hejduk Defence: Paul Coffey, Sergei Zubov, Tim Horton, King Clancy, Brian Rafalski, Kimmo Timonen Goalies: George Hainsworth, JS Giguere Coach: Toe Blake 13) The Champs Are Here (Goblin) Forwards: Stevie Yzerman, Bobby F'n Clarke, Pavel Bure, Paul Kariya, Henrik Zetterberg, Steve Shutt, Kent Nillson, Ken Hodge, Sergei Makarov, Guy Carbonneau, Craig Ramsay, Kris Draper Defence: Chris Chelios, Guy Lapointe, Serge Gonchar, Marcel Provonost, Ken Reardon, Bill White Goalie: Martin Brodeur, Evgeni Nabakov Coach: Pat Quinn 14) The Excitable Boys (Max) Forwards: Marcel Dionne, Ron Francis, Johnny Bucyk, Gibby Perrault, Michel Goulet, Bobby Smith, Jacques Lemaire, Milt Schmidt, Neal Broten, Wayne Cashman, Rick MacLeish, Keith Crowder Defence: Nicklas Lidstrom, Brad Park, Mark Howe, Ken Morrow, Steve Duchesne, Stefan Persson Goalie: Dominik Hasek, Bernie Parent Coach: Jack Adams *Unlike Clarke, Suter, Roenick, and Samuelsson, I like Theo. His knee-sliding celebration after scoring in OT is one of my favourite hockey highlights ever. Fuckin' Theo Fleury is a longstanding inside joke - a buddy of mine wanted to take his then-girlfriend on a date, but had no money. He thought his 1990 Pro Set Theo Fleury card would pay for said date, if traded in at a card shop. It did not. This was Theo's fault. ** I like him. JJ does not.

Not mine, but a buddy of mine had this last summer: Wrestling was at Montebello Park, which buddy could see from his work when he went outside for a smoke. During his final smoke break, John Cena was challenging the audience. Buddy's co-worker says "Go fight Cena!". Buddy says "Um....ok!" And he does. And he wins. But still goes back to telemarketing the next day, despite wearing the belt around. Orton and HHH and HBK all shake his hand when he gets to work and congratulate him. He hits the door to the elevator, and Flair's already on it, in full robe and pomp. Buddy says "Hey, Mr. Flair! I've always been a big fan, this is a great honour to finally meet you!" Flair replies with "You, some nobody with the belt? This is a disgrace." That's all.

I just heard this tune in Drillbit Taylor...."Die, ignorance, die". Who/what, and moreso, where the hell do I know it from? This is driving me nuts.

Good call, especially since I said bipartisan an estimated 65 times during the set-up. Do 1-13.

And I feel badly snubbing Gilmour, but he's not my captain. Fedorov-Gilmour-Hull Gartner-Loob-Kurri Stevens-McNab-Muller© Lemieux-Lindros-Verbeek Jovo-Numminen Schnieder-Daneyko Baun-Barilko Roy Luongo Neilson

I wonder why. Marvin has barely posted any sort of cooking advice in here, especially recently. The chicken cacciatore recipe a few years ago. I'm still not adding anything to my obscenely-good chili (certainly not cinnamon). Plus, I felt bad about the shit he was getting in Up All Night.

Ok, here's what I came up with: Once the draft is done (any day now), PM me your 1-14 order if the teams were to round robin. I'll tally up points (14 for first, 13 for second, etc.). Each team gets into the playoffs, because nothing says "NHL" like an abundance of teams in the spring. 1 vs. 14, 2 vs. 13 and so on. With those decided, the highest ranked team still playing in the second round recieves a bye. Then, we'll reshuffle the remaning teams in a highest vs. lowest format. Same thing for the third round. As for the head-to-head matchups, I'll assign, via a random draw, two bi-partisan GM's to select a winner. If there's a tie, I'll randomly draw a third GM to break the tie. We'll follow a similar format for the following rounds, with these exceptions: Second Round: Three random GM's per series. Third round: Seven random GM's per series. Fourth Round: Eleven random GM's per series. I'll ensure that each matchup is bipartisan. For the sake of discussion, name a captain with your lines please.