Zack Malibu

He's lying. He calls it the RKO.

My family's bakeries > Pizza Hut

I actually just brought the FOW/NWA:Florida/IPW DVD's that I have at work home with me yesterday. I haven't watched them yet, but once I do, I'll give you my thoughts on them. The cards seem decent, and with guys like Daniels, Low Ki, Jimmy Rave, Michael Shane appearing on 'em, you'd expect some good-great stuff.

I think psuedo means "related through marriage" or one of those "close to the family, so we pass ourselves off as relatives" deals. Now that I've stuck up for the man...DETAILS~!

I take it it'll be that time of the month for you? Fallout from the Zack Malibu/CWM Ambulance Match is expected. Someone's going to the hospital this Sunday...

Hey, I've got all those at work. Pretty intense looking. I was thinking of snagging a set for display in my room.

I would suggest leaving Rumble '92 on all through dinner, to bask in when the WWE did not suck so much.

So far I've gotten: DVD/VCR Player A Man Apart DVD Money, and lots of it, heh. Incredible Hulk Playing Cards Tin Calvin Klein boxers and pajama bottoms 2 tickets to George Carlin in March A coffee table book on Hollywood Cinema 2 pairs of jeans 3 pairs of shorts (going to Florida in a week, so they're needed) 4 Movie passes Other random Hulk bits (I collect any and all Hulk merchandise) ...BUT NO KARAOKE REVOLUTION OR HERE COMES THE PAIN~! Ah, it's OK. This is just what I got from my parents, sister, and Dad's side of the family. The whole family will be here in a few hours to eat/exchange, and I've actually still got some birthday gifts coming from people I haven't seen, so I haven't given up hope yet!

::Wakes up, opens gifts.:: Hmm...clothes, movie passes, Hulk memorabilia... WHERE'S MY KARAOKE REVOLUTION AND HERE COMES THE PAIN~!? ::stomps feet and whines::

I've got to wrap some presents now, then it's off to bed. My house is the dinner locale and party central, as we do "open house" here on Christmas every year. So I bid you all a good night and a good Christmas morning. I hope to catch up with you guys sometime tomorrow night to go over the booty I get tomorrow (in any way, shape and form, heh).

OK Dama, there's barely enough room for you around here, we don't need your imaginary friends too.

You got your mom/dad Cradle 2 The Grave? That's equally odd and awesome. I'm a fan of the movie, but my dad would think DMX is some kind of bike. Speaking of the parental units, I got mom a coffee basket (made by the owner of Contempo's, my coffee shop hangout since the mid-90's), and Dad is getting Married: With Children Season 1 on DVD.

Gifts received thus far: A new DVD/VCR combo (bringing my total tally of DVD players up to 3 (that's counting PS2), A Man Apart on DVD, money, a book on Hollywood cinema, more money, 2 tickets to see George Carlin in March, and even more money. All good stuff, and this was just the beginning. Hopefully tomorrow I'll find Karaoke Revolution, Here Comes The Pain, Bad Boys II and Pirates of the Carribean under the tree.

Moved.

The party just started, and already the quality of it has dropped faster than Dama's scrotum.

Celebrate the holiday, bitch about the knitted socks Aunt Edna gave you, and get royally thrashed in here. The doors are open all day and night for your holiday pleasure.

Rod's not getting my rod, and that's final. WJM, CC, someone...save me, please!

Merry Christmas to everyone here from the Zackster.

::Stops in, hands out presents to all his friends:: Merry Christmas, tavern dwellers, drunken dancers, and loyal patrons. For the rest of the night, drink at my disposal! ::Lays down wad of cash, tells RoyalBlue to have a good holiday, and heads out again.::

PROPS: Axel PK Rags Northstar Zack Sly Hoff Panther MadMatt Damaramu

First off, I've said it to ya'll before, but Merry Christmas gang. Many of you have become good friends either via this board or this lil' e-fed of ours, and I hope your holiday is a pleasant one. Onto the show, a kickass, heavy effort for everyone. We've had the ball rolling for some time now, and I honestly appreciate everyone's contributions. Sly has really stepped it up as a match writer, and that Parental Indiscretion match deserved the main slot tonight. Rags did a kickass tag match for TNT vs. Money/Malibu, Hoff has taken a more active role, Northstar is having way too much fun as GM, heh, and Panther, Sturgis and Brock got a chance to shine after some recent layovers. Great show gang. Ten all the way for this one.

MC: Now’s time for our huge X-Division Title match of the evening. This all started at Deadly Game, when St. Andrew and his Minions interfered to cost Mad Matt the X-Title, and basically hand it to Sly Sommers. Then, the week after, Andrew revealed his plan, to get the belt on who he felt was the weak link of the X-Three, that being Sly Sommers. The week after, Andrew and his Minions first took out Jeremy Red in a ruthless backstage attack, then battled AJ Flaire and Mad Matt in a two-on-three handicap match, which call them send AJ back to the hospital with a severe back injury. COACH: But the finish was undecisive, and clustered. So, last week, per GM Northstar’s orders, we began the X-Division X-Mas Twice as Nice Invitational, where the winner of a Triathelon-style six-man tag would get a shot at Sly Sommers this week. Mad Matt scored the first pinfall, but got eliminated by his teammates since they thought he was the weak link due to his injured leg. After he snapped, the match went on, and St. Andrew defeated Scotty Static after intereference from a possibly jealous Sly Sommers. Then, in the final stage, St. Andrew defeated Johnny Jackson after two Ends, dropping Jackson directly on his skull! MC: That leads to tonight, as Sly Sommers makes his second defense, as we’re apparantly supposed to count his seconds-long match last week against Samurai Akiro as a defense, in a first-ever Parental Indiscresion contest. The rules go as follows: both men are allowed to use the various weapons that surround the ring. Tables, ladders, chairs, and the such. The weapons are even seperated by ring side. The side closest to the entrance is scattered with tables. The side to our left has six ladders set up. The side closest to us contains a giant stack of chairs, and the side to our right has a giant hamper of something that we don’t even know of. Moving on, no pinfall or submission can take place during the first ten minutes, since the referee won’t even be out here! After the first ten minutes go by, the referee comes out, and the match “officially” begins. COACH: Let’s take it to the Fink for the formal ring introductions! CABOOSE: Without me getting a word in edge-wise? Bastards. FINKEL: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is the first-ever Parental Indiscresion match, for the X-Division Championship. Introducing the challenger..... (“Pompeii” starts up, and St. Andrew does his usual entrance, though he stops to observe the various implements of destruction surrounding the ring.) FINKEL:...from St. Andrew’s Cathedral, weighing 210 pounds, St. Andrew! MC: In less than one month, Andrew’s made a gigantic splash here in the X-Division! CABOOSE: He's heartless but talented. He has no loyalties to anyone excpet those who follow his word. This is a man who wants nothing less than dominance! (Sly’s music starts up, and he uncharacteristically runs to the ring, throwing his belt down in the aisle, sliding into the ring, and tackling Andrew out of the ring!) MC: This has started with a bang! Sly whips Andrew into the guardrail hard. Sly then runs at Andrew, and clotheslines him over the guardrail. Sly stomps a mudhole in Andrew, and then throws him back to ringside. Sly jumps over the guardrail, and waits for Andrew to get up. When he does, Sly goes for a spear. But, Andrew moves out of the way, and Sly goes head-first, into the guardrail. Andrew catches him as he stumbles backwards, and nails a German suplex. Andrew then tosses Sly into the ring, and slides into the ring himself. Sly’s on his hands and knees, and Andrew kicks him hard in the ribs. Sly goes down, clutching his ribs. Andrew crosses himself, and then runs to the ropes opposite Sly’s direction. He then bounces off and runs at Sly, but Sly manuevers himself so that he is able to pull Andrew out of the ring, using Andrew’s own momentum. Sly gets up, and waits for Andrew to get up. When Andrew gets to his feet, Sly springboards to the top rope, and nails a stiff lariat! MC: Did you see that? COACH: Early on, Sly almost knocks Andrew’s head off with a lariat from the top! Sly then pulls Andrew up, and whips him into the side of the ring. Sly then picks up a chair, and throws it hard at Andrew’s face. Andrew then stumbles forward, and falls on his face, right on the chair, which Sly had dropped. Sly goes to the apron, jumps off, and connects with a flying legdrop to the back of Andrew’s head. Sly then throws Andrew into the ring, and grabs a couple of chairs. Sly enters the ring, and sticks the chairs in a corner, one in between the top and middle turnbuckle, and the other in between the middle and bottom turnbuckle. He picks up Andrew, and goes to throw him face-first into the top chair. But, Andrew reverses the momentum, and Sly gets catapulted face-first into the chair. Andrew struggles up, and then kicks Sly in the ribs. Andrew pulls Sly up, and stands him up in the corner. Andrew grabs one of the chairs, and nails Sly’s gut with the edge of it. Andrew then sets the chair up in the middle of the ring. He whips Sly from the corner off to the ropes, and attempts to catch him in a tilt-a-whirl to slam him onto the chair. However, Sly reverses in mid-air, and nails a flying headscissors that sends Andrew face-first into the chair! MC: Sly Sommers, using his quick thinking, is able to stop what would have been inevitable doom! CABOOSE: Sly has brought his A game here tonight! Sly gets up, picks up the other chair, and hurls it at Andrew’s back, who’s crawling around holding his face. Sly then pulls Andrew up, stands him in the corner, and starts rapidly chopping Andrew’s chest. After the eighth chop, Sly whips Andrew to the other corner, and Andrew tumbles over the turnbuckle, landing on his face on the apron. Sly gives Andrew time to get up. When Andrew’s on his feet, Sly runs over and dropkicks Andrew, sending him flying off the apron. But, Andrew is able to catch himself on one of the ladders that’s set up. Andrew takes too much time recooperating while on the ladder, as Sly then baseball slides the ladder from the ring, tipping the ladder over, and sending Andrew gut-first onto the guard rail! COACH: Not a second of action missed thus far in this exciting contest! Sly then sets that ladder back up, and goes up four rungs. He then connects with a guillotine legdrop across Andrew’s back, sending both men into the front row. Sly gets up, grabs Andrew by the head, and throws him back to ringside. Sly then slingshots over the guardrail, and nails a big legdrop. Sly then grabs one of the ladders, and slides it into the ring. Sly grabs Andrew, but Andrew connects with a low blow. Both men go down. After about ten seconds, they both slowly get up. Sly goes after Andrew, but Andrew throws a weird white powder in Sly’s eyes. Sly can’t see anything, and is swinging wildly at nothing. Andrew gives himself a few more seconds to get himself together, then gets to his feet, and superkicks Sly in the back of the head, sending Sly flying into the remaining four ladders that are standing. Andrew reaches into the ring, and grabs one of the chairs. Andrew climbs to the apron, and connects with a brutal chair-assisted legdrop, onto Sly’s face! COACH: That’s a plastic surgeon bill in the making! Andrew and Sly both lay there for seconds, with Sly’s face suddenly covered in blood, from an apparant nose break. Andrew gets up, and throws Sly into the ring. Andrew then climbs from the floor to the apron, and then to the top rope. He jumps off and nails a somersault senton. Andrew then grabs the other chair that was brought into the ring, climbs a couple of rungs on the ladder, and places the chair flat on the top of the ladder. He pulls Sly up, and stands him up in a corner. Andrew slides quickly outside of the ring, and grabs another chair. He slides back into the ring, and simply clobbers Sly in the head with the chair. Sly goes down in a sitting position, bloodied. Andrew puts the chair in front of Sly’s face, and goes to the apron behind Sly. Andrew then slingshots himself into the ring, changes directions, and brutally kicks the chair into Sly’s already-fractured face! MC: Andrew’s showing signs of a rather bizarre gameplan, going after the face of Sly Sommers. COACH: Whatever gameplan he’s using, it’s been effective thus far. Andrew then pulls Sly up, hooks his head, and DDT’s him onto the chair that was just used. Andrew then rests for a second. He pulls Sly up, and drags him by the hair over to the ladder. Andrew walks up the ropes, successfully dragging Sly to climb up the rungs on the other side of the ladder. Andrew grabs the chair that he placed on top of the ladder, and then flips over Sly, trying for some sort of inverted chair-assisted sunset bomb. However, when Andrew gets all the way over Sly, Sly grabs the chair from Andrew and whacks him in the head with it, knocking Andrew off of the ladder and him. Andrew goes down flat on his back. Sly climbs to where he’s seated on top of the ladder, with chair in hand. He looks at the chair for a second, then decides to just drop it on Andrew’s face. Sly then pushes off of the ladder with his right foot, almost tipping it over in the process, and nails a devastating big headbutt! MC: Right after getting the advantage back, Sly Sommers risks life-and-limb, and if he would have missed that, he definately would have lost the advantage! COACH: The advantage? He would have lost his life! Both men stay down as the crowd rises and cheers for the risky dive. More than ten seconds later, Sly struggles, but makes it to his feet. Just then, from the crowd, the Minions come out, and slide into the ring. Sly tries to fight them off, but the numbers game is just too much, and they end up whipping him off to the ropes. They then nail a brutal double STO takedown. Nathaniel then goes outside the ring, and slides both a table and an extra ladder into the ring. Michael sets up the table as Nathaniel sets up the extra ladder on the opposite side as the original ladder. The Minions lay Sly down on the table, and they each perch an individual ladder. Three seconds later, they launch off, Michael with a legdrop, and Nathaniel with a high moonsault, from the top of ladders, through a table! MC: My lord! COACH: That was amazing! CABOOSE: That was incredible! MC: That’s an understatement! Michael shakes his leg off, and then drags his leader Andrew onto Sly. However, he looks up at the clock, and discovers that there’s still a couple more minutes until a referee will even come out to count the fall. So, the Minions clear the ring of the table remains, and go to ringside. Andrew shakes himself off, and gets up. He then picks up one of the ladders, makes it completely horizontal, and bridges it across the top of one of the corners. He pulls Sly up, and stands him up in the opposite corner. Andrew then slaps Sly in the face. Andrew takes his time, and then whips Sly to the corner. However, Sly pulls it out of himself to reverse the whip, and sends Andrew tumbling over the corner, and laying on top of the ladder. Sly then climbs up to the middle rope, and starts forearming Andrew in the chest. Sly jumps down from the middle rope, and then dropkicks the ladder upward, sending both the ladder and Andrew flipping from the top rope to the floor, crushing Andrew’s head between the concrete and the steel of the ladder! MC: I think he just killed a saint. COACH: That ain’t no saint! Sly then slingshots himself over the top rope, landing in a Togo senton on Andrew’s back. Sly stays down for a few seconds to let the pain from that risky move set in, and then pulls himself up with the guardrail. The Minions then pick up a ladder, each Minion holding an end. They run at Sly, trying to take his head off with the ladder. But, Sly ducks under the ladder. He springboards to the guardrail, the Minions turn around, and Sly basically double-stomps the ladder, sending it and himself to the ground, and running Matthew and Nathaniel into each other. Sly then walks over to the other side and grabs a table. He then sets it up with one end on the ring apron, and the other on the guardrail. Sly then picks up Andrew, and throws him back into the ring. Sly grabs the ladder remaining in the ring, and sets it up near the table. Sly then starts climbing the ladder, and somehow, Andrew gets the strength to trail after him on the same side. Sly sits on top of the ladder, and then transitions to the other side as he trades punches with Andrew. He gets the better of the punches with Andrew, and Andrew nearly falls backwards off of the ladder. However, Andrew maintains his balance to come back with one huge punch to Sly’s face, that both sends himself flying sideways off of the ladder, and sends Sly flying off the top of the ladder, and through the table outside the ring, to the floor! CABOOSE: HOLY... MC: I’ll be damned! COACH: That’s inhuman! My god! As both men rue in the pain of their huge falls, the ten minutes runs out, and the referee runs to ringside to take his place. But, right before he hits the ring, Minion Michael pops up and spears the referee out of his boots. Both Minions then drag Sly’s lifeless carcass into the ring. Nathaniel lays the ladder down and bridges it across the ring apron, to the guardrail. Both Minions tease Beale tossing (double hiptoss) Sly over the top rope and onto the ladder. But, all of a sudden, the Global Party Exchange, Scotty Static and Johnny Jackson pop up from under the ring with chairs. They climb onto the apron and distract the Minions. They toss the chairs at the Minions’ heads, but the Minions catch them to block. But as soon as they hurl the chairs, Johnny and Scotty springboard to the top rope, and dropkick the chairs into Michael and Nathaniel’s faces! Johnny then lays Nathaniel across the ladder, and goes up top. Scotty picks Michael up in a side-suplex position, and hands him to Johnny, who holds him in powerbomb position....Johnny superbombs Michael off the top rope, through both Nathaniel and the ladder!! MC: HOLY CRAP! CABOOSE: The GPX take out the Minions! COACH: They...just went through a metal ladder....they just went through a METAL LADDER! Scotty then looks around, and eyes Sly’s lifeless body. Scotty grabs one of the chairs, and goes up top. He then nails a huge splash off the top rope, with the ladder on his own chest, onto Sly! Scotty leaves the ring, dragging his partner with him. Both the referee and Andrew take about thirty more seconds to get up, and Andrew puts his left hand over Sly for a really lazy first pin of the match....1.........2.......kickout! MC: Sly Sommers has somehow kicked out of that! COACH: You have to be near super-human to hold a belt here at HeldDOWN~! Andrew then barely holds himself up, and starts throwing punches at Sly’s extremely bloody face. Andrew then disgustingly fingerpaints a blood outline of Sly’s body, poking into the wound and rubbing his finger around Sly’s face in order to get the blood needed. Andrew then grabs two of the ladders, and sets them up, about six feet away from each other, in the middle of the mat nearest to the rampway. Andrew then grabs a table, and sets it up on top of the two ladders, making a bridge. Then, he gets two more tables, and sets them up, one vertically-facing underneath the table/ladder bridge, and the other horizontally at the foot of the aisleway, beside the ladders. Andrew slides into the ring, but when he goes to pick up Sly, Sly hits him in the gonads. Sly then grabs a chair, and wallops Andrew in the skull with the chair. Andrew goes down to one knee, so Sly nails another chairshot. All of a sudden, AJ Flaire and Mad Matt jump the rail, albeit from opposite sides, with chairs, slide into the ring. Flaire hits Sly in the skull with his chair, and Matt hits Andrew with his! MC: Not even severe injuries could keep AJ Flaire or Mad Matt away from their enemies! Matt then looks across the ring and sees AJ Flaire. Matt goes into one of his psycho tantrums, and charges at AJ with the chair...BAM! Matt cracks AJ in the skull with his chair! Matt straddles on top of AJ, and starts throwing wild punches at AJ’s face. The referee attempts to get Matt off of AJ, but Matt shoves him down for his troubles. Matt gets up, and starts stomping AJ. Sly crawls up, and grabs one of the chairs. He then taps Matt on the shoulder. Matt turns around, and Sly clobbers him one good with a sick chairshot! Sly then swings back, and nails another one to the skull, as Matt is falling to the mat. Sly then drags Matt’s body to the floor, and lays him down on the table that stands horizontally-facing underneath the ladder. Sly then comes back into the ring, and pulls AJ up. However, AJ starts to fight Sly off. However, Andrew clips AJ from behind, sending him down. Sly then pulls Flaire to the outside, and lays him on the table beside the ladders. Sly slides back into the ring, and him and Andrew start trading punches mid-ring. MC: Back to square one! COACH: But what could possibly be happening to Flaire & Matt?!?! Both men simultaniously leave the ring and go on the apron, while still exchanging punches. Sly then throws up a “Time Out” hand signal. So, both men separate, go to a separate ladder in the ladder/table bridge, and climb. They meet on the table bridging the two ladders together. They exchange punches until Andrew kicks Sly down low. Andrew then turns Sly around, hooks his head, picks him up..and... MC: HOLY FREAKING CRAP! COACH: St. Andrew just drove Sly through not one, but two tables, head-first, with The End! MC: But notice that, at the last second, Mad Matt moved off of the table, and they didn’t get him! COACH: Nonetheless, that was absolutely brutal! As the crowd chants “Holy Sh*t!”, both Andrew and Sly lie amongst the table parts, lifeless. This goes on for nearly a minute, until Andrew finally finds the strength to pull himself onto Sly.....1..........................2...................AJ Flaire gets up off of his table and breaks it up?!?!?!? MC: What in the hell is going on? CABOOSE: It's like an open invitation for chaos here tonight on HeldDOWN~! AJ then points at Matt angrily, and tells him to “set the (bleep)ing (bleep) up!” Matt begrudingly obliges. Matt grabs the table standing, and scoots it sideways. He then grabs the last two unbroken tables at ringside, and sets one up beside the already-set table. He then sets the other one up on top of those two tables, creating a pyramid of sorts. AJ then throws some chairs over at Matt, who throws one at Sly’s lifeless body, and then climbs one of the ladders and puts the other three on top of Andrew’s lain body. AJ then opens and reaches into the mystery hamper. He pulls out.....barbed wire. Rolls upon rolls...looks like nearly a mile’s length of barbed wire. He cuts it down with a pair of pliers from his pocket, and tosses some of it to Matt. Matt then wraps all the barbed wire that he’s given around Andrew and the table, basically tying the chairs to Andrew, and Andrew to the table. AJ then pulls Sly up, and ties Sly’s hands behind his back with the barbed wire. AJ and Matt then climb the same ladder, while pulling Sly up with them. They collectively put him on their shoulders at the same time.... MC: Holy CRAP! COACH: They just drove Sly Sommers through St. Andrew, some chairs, and a pyramid of tables with a double Death Valley Driver! MC: Are they dead? COACH: They just might be! The entire crowd erupts at the deadly sight of the move. After the crowd calms down a little, Sly is somehow able to get his arm over Andrew’s unconscious carcass, which is cut in a few areas due to the barbed wire.....1.....................2................................................ ........................3! Sly Sommers has somehow regained the HeldDOWN~! X-Division Championship, but not without a fight! MC: That, my friends, was a spectacle that you need to watch again and again! COACH: Violent by design, and even more! The entire crowd stands up to applaud the effort put in by both Sly Sommers and St. Andrew in this brutal contest. But, all of a sudden, GM Northstar comes down the ramp, looking mad. NORTHSTAR: What in the hell was that?!?!?! I mean, tremendous match, Sly, Andrew; but what in the hell was up with all the damn run-ins?!?!? You got the Minions, and you got the Global Party Experience, and you got AJ Flaire and Mad Matt...what’s wrong with this picture? That’s right, you’re all trying to ruin MY SHOW! The X-Mas X-Division Twice as Nice Invitational was MY idea, to spice up MY Christmas show, and make everyone else on the air wish they spent Christmas at home! What happens? As soon as we get to the big X-Division Title match, we had a zillion run-ins to attempt to ruin my vision! So, I’ll tell ya what...Minions, Global Party Experience...you guys did sign a contract earlier tonight to fight at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten. However, I can change everything else about that match. I’m going to change one very important detail about Sunday’s match. You see, usually, when you work the Pay-Per-View, you get a huge payoff. Big bucks, right? Well, at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten, whoever loses doesn’t get the big payoff! That’s right, Global Party Experience vs. Minions is now a “Losers Lose Their Paycheck” match! As for Matt and AJ, I know you’re not cleared until after the new year begins by your doctors, especially you, AJ. However, since you seemed ready, willing, and able to be physical tonight, I’m sure you’ll be even more prepared on Sunday, when, at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten, it will be Mad Matt versus AJ Flaire....versus St. Andrew, versus Sly Sommers! But, it won’t be just any normal four-way X Division Title match. Oh no, it’ll be a first for this company. You see, we’re going to take the physicality to a new level. We’re not necessarily going to bring the violence up a level; at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten, we’re taking your endurance to the next level! The rules of this very special match are simple: Two men in the ring at once. If you’re the loser of the fall, you must stay in the ring, while everyone else can tag in and out, until you either score a win, in which case you must tag out, or you’re beaten a second time, in which case you’re eliminated from the contest! This goes until two men are left standing. Those two guys have their entire win-loss record in the match erased, and will go at it in a one-on-one contest. Whoever wins that match is YOUR new X-Division Champion! It’s called the HeldDOWN~! Hot Seat Double Elimination Match. Bet you wouldn’t have gotten involved had you known you’re involved in this match, now would you? (GM Northstar leaves the stage in a huff; EMT’s help escort Sly and Andrew to the back; AJ and Matt are taken away by security; the Minions steal Andrew away from the EMT’s, and carry him backstage themselves; the GPE limp backstage on their own power) COACH: Man, oh, man, what a match tonight! MC: Sly Sommers and St. Andrew proved tonight that they belong at the top of the X-Division field, risking life and limb multiple times in order to obtain that belt! COACH: But, as amazing as tonight’s match was, these guys, plus the injured AJ Flaire and the mentally unstable Mad Matt, must walk into this Sunday’s Pay-Per-View event, Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten, and wrestle in this HeldDOWN~! Hot Seat Double Elimination Match for the X-Division Championship that will definately prove to wreak havoc upon all four men’s cardiovascular systems! MC: Not only that, but the Minions battle fellow rookie tag team the Global Party Exchange, Scotty Static and Johnny “Jam” Jackson, in a “Losers Lose Their Paychecks” match! In other words, if you lose this baby, you go home with no money, nothing for hotel check-in; nothing for car rental or food; and definately nothing to take home and spend! COACH: Yeah, Northstar knows that the almighty dollar rules the lives of all wrestlers, and putting that prize on the line is definately going to motivate these young rookies even further! MC: Man, two huge matches announced after tonight’s amazing spectacle of athleticism and violence for this Sunday night: Nathaniel and Michael versus the Global Party Exchange in a “Losers Lose Their Paychecks” match, and, for the X-Division Championship, in a HeldDOWN~! Hot Seat Double Elimination Match, St. Andrew versus Mad Matt versus AJ Flaire versus the champ, representing Totally Endorsed, Sly Sommers! It’s gonna be huge! CABOOSE: This was one hell of a night to assume my new role, and one hell of a Christmas gift to these great fans. MC: I couldn't agree more, Caboose. Folks, we hope you've enjoyed this show as much as we've enjoyed your love for us. This is Michael Cole, signing off for The Coach and Caboose, saying Merry Christmas to you all from all of us, here on HeldDOWN~! *Fade Out*

::Cut back to the announcer’s table with Michael Cole, Caboose and Jonathon “The Coach” Coachman.:: Michael Cole: Anyway, fans, this Sunday, December 28th, you will see the best of the OaOasT collide at Bloody, Battered, And Beaten. Caboose: It's an event that has produced many a great match in the past. Jonathon Coachman: I, for one, am excited about this Sunday. This pay-per-view will definitely live up to its name as there will be bloodshed, there will be pain, and there will be losers. Michael Cole: Bloody, Battered, and Beaten is brought to you by both the IntenseZone AND HeldDown brands. For a look at the matches scheldued, let’s head to the Bloody, Battered, and Beaten Control Center with HeldDown’s very own, Josh Matthews. Josh, take it away! ::The camera cuts to the OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten Control Center. Josh Matthews is standing in front of a blue screen that has a window showing a city skyline on it covered with snow. The room he is in has a black, smooth floor with a skinny gray table that holds a flatscreen TV with the OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten logo on it. The room is decorated with Christmas decorations. A Christmas tree, presents next to the Christmas Tree. The TV has a giant red bow on it and some other decorations on it as well. There are some presents on the table as well. Josh Matthews comes on the screen standing next to the table wearing a Santa Claus hat. “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson plays in the background.:: Josh Matthews: Thanks, Coach, Cole. Merry Christmas everyone! This is Josh Matthews here giving you the 411 on what is coming up this Sunday, December 28th at OaOasT Bloody, Battered, And Beaten; a presentation brought to you by IntenseZone and HeldDown. And this pay-per-view will indeed live up to its name. 12 matches are scheldued for the show with the best from IZ and HD entertaining the millions watching at home and in the arena. ::The OaOasT Bloody, Battered, And Beaten logo appears on screen. It is follow by the IntenseZone logo. Match-Up graphics appear onscreen while Josh continues to talk. “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson continues to play.:: Josh Matthews (Voice Over): From IntenseZone, you will see the brand new Adrenalin Championship be defended. The Champion, the returning Spider-Poet takes on IntenseZone General Manager, “Heartless” Dan Black in a steel cage match. Spider-Poet made his shocking return to the OaOasT to join IntenseZone back a few weeks back. And to say Black was unhappy about it, would be an understatement. Add to it that Tha Poet is friends with Stephen Joseph, who Black also hates, and you got a GM ready to explode heading into Bloody, Battered, And Beaten. Poet survived and won the Adrenalin Title Tournament on the December 9th episode of IntenseZone, but can he survived the onslaught of the ruthless, heartless, and evil Dan Black who no doubt plans to send a message to Joseph by crippling his friend and become Adrenalin Champion in the process. Inside a steel cage anything can, and does happen, so how low will Black go, and how much will tha Poet have to go through in this match up? Black has been a menace on IntenseZone ever since he became GM. Can Spider-Poet survive the Blackheart? Tune into BBB to find out! IntenseZone will also bring to you a contest made by Father that pits The Blurricane against Judas. Blurricane has been trying his best to get Judas to become fully 100% good ever since the night after Dirty Deeds back in September. But Father has returned and is hell bent on making Blurricane pay for sending him to jail and to make Judas pay for turning his back on him. Father has shown in the past few weeks that, even at his old age, he can still go, and you better believe that Father will physically inject himself into the matchup. How will this match affect Judas and Blurricane? Can Blurricane make Judas good? Or will Judas succumb to the dark side and side with Father once and for all? OR will Father disappear once and for all? There are so many possible endings to this matchup. The only way of knowing what will happen is by actually buying Bloody, Battered, and Beaten to find out what will happen in the next chapter of the Blurricane/Judas/Father saga. ::The Puerto Rican Lightning/Mad Cappa NA Title Match match-up graphic appears onscreen. Some of the crowd pops for Cappa and boos PRL. Josh Matthews continues to speak while “Fight Song” continues to play.:: Josh Matthews (Voice Over Continuing): And the IntenseZone main event. The biggest and most anticipated match from IZ. For the OaOasT North American Championship. The OaOasT North American Champion Puerto Rican Lightning takes on the challenger, his archrival, The Mad Cappa. These two men have been feuding with each other for most of 2003 and it could all end this Sunday, December 28th, in this one matchup. PRL has avoided meeting Cappa several times, and has had the Lightning Crew do all his dirty work. But he will have no choice but to fight this Sunday, because if PRL does NOT compete for any reason other than a serious, legitimate injury, then PRL is barred from the OaOasT for life. PRL has a big decision to make. Does he compete and risk the wrath of the very man he injured and nearly crippled back in May? Or does he back out, and lose the NA Title he cherishes so much. Plus be barred forever from the OaOasT. Cappa returned in August, but has yet to get his hands around PRL’s neck for a good amount of time. With the hatred share between these two, this match will end up being a brawl. One of the most anticipated matches at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, two of IntenseZone’s biggest and most brightest stars go at it for the NA Title, but there is more to it than that. This feud is base on pure, unadulterated hate. And it could all end this Sunday at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. ::The Bloody, Battered, And Beaten logo once again appears on screen. It is followed by the HeldDown logo, which causes the crowd to pop for their favorite brand of the OaOasT! Now, HD matchup graphics are shown while Josh Matthews continues his narration and “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson continues to play.:: Josh Matthews (V.O.): On the HeldDown side, you will see the Dark One Axel; take on Dream Machine member Peter Knight. Axel made his return to HeldDown after a one-month suspension and has picked up where he left off. Kicking ass and taking names. With La Parka down with an injury, Knight has decided to go solo for the time being and make a name for himself in the OaOasT as a singles competitor. This match will be a test for both men this Sunday as both have the power to tear each other apart. Knight has the height advantage, but Axel has the psychological advantage going into this Sunday. Who will come out on top? It’s anybody’s guess. This match should be a hell of a fight and I guarantee you won’t want to miss it. HeldDown will also be offering you a 24/7 Title Match as The Champion, The Superstar, representing the Underground, takes on the unstable and weird Mr. Warrior in a Coal Miner’s Glove Match. The rules of this match are simple. A pole will be attached to a turnbuckle with a coal miner’s glove attached to it. The first wrestler to grab the glove and use it will be the winner. Superstar has caused some minor dissension in the Underground, getting into several disagreements with the leader of the Underground, CWM. Mr. Warrior has sided with The Superstar in the past, and that might help him come this Sunday as he could use what he knows Superstar well. Will Mr. Warrior capture his first OaOasT title? Or will the arrogant and cocky Superstar walk out of Bloody, Battered, and Beaten still the 24/7 Champion? We will also be seeing some girl-on-girl action as Alix and Holly-Wood of Northstar’s Acolytes take on Zack Malibu’s manager and main squeeze Candie in a handicap match. Northstar, the General Manager of HeldDown obviously has stacked the match in his sister and his girlfriend’s favor, but can Candie overcome the 2-on-1 odds and win? Alix and Holly-Wood might be a little jealous of Candie, who is one of the OaOasT’s most popular and most beautiful females. That might cause Holly and Alix some anger and as they say “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.” This match will be very interesting for the males in the audience and I think I speak for all the males when I say that I hope this match is nothing more but a big old catfight. No drop toeholds. No snapmares. No suplexes. Just plain good old-fashioned catfightning, with, hopefully, some clothes being tear off in the process! ::More match up graphics. More voiceover. More “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson.: Josh Matthews (V.O. Continuing): Added to the card earlier tonight, Underground chief of security Hoff will take on HeldDown Co-Chief of security Charlie Hoss. These two haven’t seen eye-to-eye for quite some time and it will all come ahead at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. These two men are big, strong, and have a short temper, and it will be a flat-out brawl this Sunday, when these two men are in the same ring. I, for one, cannot wait for the result. HeldDown will also present to you a “Loser Leaves Their Paycheck For The Night Match”, which will pit The Minions, newcomers Nathaniel and Michael against The Global Party Exchange, newcomers Johnny “Jam” Jackson and Scotty Static. Both teams are new to OaOasT and to HeldDown and are looking to make their mark. Both teams are from completely different worlds. The Global Party Exchange, two fun-loving guys who want to party, win matches, and get all the hot women. The Minions, followers of St. Andrew. Apart of the Unholy Communion. Two mysterious, dark, and deadly young men who are intent on preaching their warped version of The Christian Bible to the HD audience and wrestlers, and will do so by any means necessary. The OaOasT has had its share of religious wackos, like Stephen Joseph, Spider Poet, Jacob X, and Edward Robins of the Trinity, but these guys might be the sickest yet. These two teams will be making their OaOasT Pay-Per-View debuts this Sunday at BBB, and look to make an impact. Who will come out on top is anyone’s guess. Be it the fun loving Global Party Exchange, or the sick, dark Minions. The rules of the match are simple. The losing team will not get paid for the night. It doesn’t get any simpler than that folks. HeldDown is home to the OaOasT X Division Championship, and at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, you will see that title get defended in a Double Elimination Hot-Seat Four Corners Match. The OaOasT X Division Champ, Sly “The Sly” Sommers defends his title against former champion Mad Matt, AJ Flaire, and St. Andrew of the Unholy Communion. These four men are all worthy to be the X Division Champ, but only one man will survive this match. Bloody, Battered, And Beaten seems to describe the result of this match as by the end of this Four Corners Double Elimination Hot-Seat Match, all four competitors will most likely be Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. At Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, two other people with intense hatred for each other will meet in the ring. One of BBB’s most anticipated matches, the evil, unstable, and insane Damaramu takes on the lovely and talented Crystal in a Last Person Standing Match. These two have been on the warpath for two months now, all triggered by Damaramu, who wants to add Crystal to his list of victims but has failed in doing so for some time. Crystal and Damaramu went to a 10-minute time limit on an episode of HeldDown a few weeks ago, and have spent the rest of the time engaged in backstage brawls pulled apart by security. These two want to tear each other apart and will finally get the opportunity to do so at BBB in a Last Person Standing Match which seems to be the perfect match for these two. The rules of the match are simple. There is no disqualification. No holds barred. Anything goes. The winner of the match is the one wrestler who gets up before the count of 10. The loser, well, he obviously is the one who doesn’t get up at the count of 10. The winner will literally be the Last Person Standing. This match is not about any titles. It’s about pride. Will the Female Phenom of the OaOasT finally snapped Damaramu’s winning streak and give him his first lost in the OaOasT? Or will Damaramu have his way, and Crystal will just be another victim? Tune into BBB to find out! You won’t wanna miss this matchup! ::The matchup graphic for Zack Malibu vs. CWM is shown. The crowd pops quite loud for the Pissed Off Prep. “Fight Song” continues to play. Matthews continues talking.:: Matthews (V.O.): When you’re talking about pure hatred. A bitter rivalry. Two men who absolutely positively hate each other. You cannot forget about Zack Malibu and CWM. These two men were once the best of buds, but CWM turned his back on his best friend, and now they are enemies. These men have had several encounters with each other on pay-per-view, but it MUST end this Sunday, December 28th, at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. HD General Manager Northstar has made this their last match ever! The Pissed Off Prep Zack Malibu takes on the leader of the Underground, CWM in an Ambulance Match. The rules of the match are simple. No disqualification. No countouts. The first wrestler to put the other in an ambulance will be the winner. Remember, this will be the FINAL TIME that Zack and CWM fight each other as Northstar wants these two men to still wrestle for HeldDown. He believes, like many, that these two will be fightning each other till the day they die, and he does not want that. So, witness the final battle. The final chapter. The last match ever between Zack Malibu and CWM. And it’s going to happen at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten this Sunday live on pay-per-view. Trust me, this will be an Ambulance Match that will actually be GOOD and memorable. I guarantee it. And finally, the main event. The big one. For the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship. Hell In A Cell. The Champion. “New Era” Calvin Szechstein takes on the deranged Ragdoll. This whole match stems from Deadly Game last month, when Calvin did not look out for Ragdoll in the Elimination Chamber Match, and ended up getting eliminated by Puerto Rican Lightning. Ragdoll feels his chance at becoming World Champion was stolen and wants another shot in a match, which maybe in HIS environment. The 16 foot high, 20 foot wide Hell In The Cell will cover the entire ringside area, and will be home to the main event of Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. No other match defines BBB other than this one. Ragdoll has become even darker since Deadly Game. Becoming a junkie. Attacking his role model, Spanky. Attacking his girlfriend, Josie and getting a new one. Calvin has been on a roll since the Elimination Chamber, and will be looking to stretch his title reign into 2004. Ragdoll and Szechstein are not exactly fan favorites, so it will be interesting exactly who the crowd sides with this Sunday. This match will not for the weak of heart. This match is the definition of Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. Will Calvin be having a Happy New Year? Or will Ragdoll cement his place in OaOasT history by dethroning and becoming OaOasT World Champion for the very first time? This match will change the lives of both men and I urge you to witness this live on pay-per-view! ::The OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten logo appears onscreen again. “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson continues to play as the information regarding the pay-per-view is shown on screen. Josh Matthews continues his narration.:: Josh Matthews (Voiceover): Fans, don’t miss the final pay-per-view of 2003. It has been an incredible year for the OaOasT and the wrestlers involve, and this pay-per-view will be a great way to cap off 2003 and ring in 2004! This pay-per-view will see a lot of changes. Grudges will end. New ones will begin. Will new champions be crown? Will the so-called “New Era” end? Or will the reign of Szechstein continue? All these answers, and more will be answered at OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. Sunday, December 28th at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time only on Pay-Per-View. Call your local cable or satellite operator to order now! Or visit OaOasT.Com for details on how to get the webcast! Don’t delay. Witness the pay-per-view that will be better than anything the WWE put on TV this year. OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. Don’t delay. Order now! ::”Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson comes to an end, and so does this segment.::

Flameout: Damn man. You look shameful.... Holly-wood: You've sunken to new lows, Silver Star. I didn't think that was possible, but way to surprise me. (The Camera pans out to show Silver Star in an Easter Bunny outfit) Silver Star: I don't see....I mean... Holly-wood: You mean what? I told you to come to work dressed as Santa Claus. You said 'no problemo.' I excused your outdated slang and figured you could handle the job. But here you are dressed as the Easter Bunny and not Santa Claus. Silver Star: I just don't see why I have to dress up as Santa instead of as a bunny. I hear you blah blah blahing about how Santa is the symbol for Christmas, but I don't see how you could know that. Holly-wood: How could YOU not know that? Have you been to a mall lately? The kids aren't lining up to see a rabbit. They're lined up to sit on an overweight pedophile's lap and tell him what they want, when all he wants is a quickie in the bathroom. That's Christmas. That's tradition. Silver Star: Right. And I think we should try and change that tradition, dudes. Am I right? Holly-wood: No. No, you are not. Change it on your own time. Right now, I've got thirty six kids, that's twelve times three, from the Make a wish foundation, waiting to meet Santa Claus. And all I've got to show them is a twenty year old dope fiend in an Easter bunny costume. Silver Star: All right. All right already. I'm sorry. I forgot. But Jeez, how am I supposed to remember that Santa Claus is the Christmas dude. I'm not even Christian. Flameout: Mmm hmmm. You an ignant mothafucka. Ignant! Just plain ignant. Holly-wood: I agree. I don't care if your Jewish, Hindu, Muslim or a Satanist. You have to know that Santa Claus equals Christmas. Silver Star: Why do I have to know, huh? Why? I ain't Christian! I'm not. It's not my business to know. Holly-wood: Ooh!!!! I'm so not listening to you anymore. Silver Star: You better open up those ears, hood rat. Cuz I'm not done talking. Why should I keep up with a holiday that isn't even part of my religion? I doubt you know when the Fast of the Esther is. Flameout: March forth, muthafucka. March forth. Silver Star: Yeah, okay. But what about Passover? Holly-wood: April sixth through the twelfth. Silver Star: Fine, but.... Holly-wood: Ooh! Ooh! Just shut up already. You can't even get the easiest tasks right. The only reason Northstar even hired you, was out of childhood loyalty. I would think that you would at least repay him with a respectable job performance. But oh no! You're just perfectly content to sit back collect your six figure salary and let the rest of us do the hard work. Silver Star: I think I do an okay job. Holly-wood: Do you? Name me one thing that you've done that's helped the show? Just one?....You're out of time. You can't think of anything, because you haven't done anything. Face it, your useless. Silver Star: I am not. No way am I useles. In fact, dudette I'll prove it. Holly-wood: How? Silver Star: I'm going to help you and Alix beat Candie this Sunday. I'll show you who's useless and who's the bomb up in this mug! Holly-wood: Up in this mug? Whatever. Just stay away from my match. Come on Flameout, lets go see if we can find a Santa suit for you. (Back to Sofa Central) COLE I swear, Northstar has employed the oddest bunch of people since gaining power. COACH Hey man, I'm not about to say ANYTHING about any of them anymore. COLE Well, if you did, you'd be NUTS. HA! *Coach stares blankly at Cole.* COACH That was weak, Michael. *Caboose comes back, dressed in new attire, but some of his facepaint is faded.* COLE Well, I hear you had quite the incident, and it caused you to miss one hell of a tag team matchup. CABOOSE Well Michael, needless to say I'm feeling pretty low right now. COACH You stopped a theif. You're a hero, man! CABOOSE No, Jon, I pummelled a Salvation Army worker who was picking up the leftover stock for underpriveleged kids. COLE Ah...ha. Well then... COACH Oh boy. COLE Uh...OK...OK, let's take you now to another holiday moment, this time from Zack Malibu! The screen closes in on Zack Malibu, laying back on a leather couch inside the famous Malibu Mansion. ZACK Merry Christmas, everyone. You know, a few weeks ago, the production staff of HeldDOWN~! asked me to think of my favorite holiday memory, and share it with you all tonight. Now, honestly, I've had many great memories through the years, but only one stands out. It was Christmas time, 1996, and it was the first Christmas without a beloved family member. You see, I had a cousin who passed on just a month before the holiday, and, well, he was the inspiration for the man you see before you today. Now, I know that's pretty grim, and you must be wondering "Zack, how is that your FAVORITE holiday memory?", but this is why. You see, on that holiday, I remember eating with my family, and they were discussing the trials and tribulations of a teenage Zackster, when Grandma Malibu uttered that I was turning out to be "just like his cousin". That one statement right there meant more to me than anything, because if there is anyone I've hoped to be like, it was my cousin. So, here on Christmas night, take the time to remember your family and your loved ones. Take a moment to bask in what you have, and what they really mean to you. That is a gift that is greater than anything you'll find under your trees. Merry Christmas everyone, and God Bless. (Commercial Break)

Back with more Jeremy Red. Red is lying on the canvas, nursing his injured wrist. Cruel:Despite not figuring out a counter after 22 and a half hours in a wristlock, we are going to move onto the next lesson. If you mess up this one, it's the final lesson. You better do good boy or else. Cruel lifts up Red. Cruel:We didn't cry about petty injuries back in MY day. We had to have our legs ripped off and shoved down our throats before we missed any time. You will break my finishing move back in the day. Red:How far back in the day? Cruel:I had my last match in 1947. I would have made it farther but that young punk Lou Thesz stole my spotlight. You will be breaking the most deadly move ever. The Full Nelson. Red laughs at loud. Cruel:What's so funny, punk? Red:The full uh nelson. That's really funny. Even I can't screw this one up. Mad Matt told me that that move was outdated back in the 80s. The 1880s that uh is. Cruel:Mad Matt isn't here, is he. Without warning, Cruel hoists Red off the canvas and locks him in the Full Nelson. This isn't a weak resthold version either. This is an honest attempt to break some bones. Cruel:Outdated, eh. Sonny Jim, any move would be effective at any point in the history of wrestling. The only moronic moves is that flip flop crap you young hooligans do today. Red screams out in horror. Red attempts to throw his leg backwards but Cruel's legs are shut. Cruel:You do know that counter. Shame I know the counter to that counter. You will NEVER be a wrestler. You will be a joke. Cruel releases the Full Nelson and grabs Jeremy Red over his shoulder. Cruel throws Red out of the back of the gym. Cruel:Never darken my door again. You are the worst student I have ever taught. Red is sitting on the frozen ground, in tears. Cruel:Yeah, that's right. CRY like the baby you are. I hope someone breaks your neck for real if you ever decide to foolishly wrestle again. Knowing the punks these days, they would break their own necks going for one of those flippy floppy moves. Red:I think I like had a bag and stuff. Cruel throws the overnight bag out the door. It bops Red on the head and knocks him out cold. Red is lying on the frozen ground outside, knocked out cold. That's when the tape ends. COACH Heh, man, I don't know if I should feel bad for that kid or laugh at his misfortune. COLE He's persistent, give him that much. COACH Hey, where'd Caboose go? COLE Well, actually, Caboose was handing out OAOAST Action Figures to kids during intermission, and some guy was trying to steal the bag and sell them on Ebay. Needless to say, Caboose gave him a good thrashing, and is now in the back cleaning up. COACH Heh, too bad we didn't have THAT on tape. COLE I don't think "blood red" is that festive of a color, Coach. CUE: "TNT" by AC/DC -The fans rise to their feet, booing loudly as Tiffany and Becky - both dressed as schoolgirls - step out from behind the curtain. They smile seductively before the curtain flies open again, revealing the OAOAST Tag Team Champions! Tyler Bridges! TJ Burns! TNT!~!~ DING DING DING BUFFER The Next match…is scheduled for one fall…and is for the OAOAST WORLD…TAG…TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Introducing first…at a combined weight of three hundred and eighty eight pounds…hailing from the Liverpool, England and Dongegal, Ireland…the OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…T…N….TEEEEEEEE!!!! -The fans boo as TJ and Tyler pose at the top of the ramp with Tiffany and Becky, as the red, yellow, and green pyro shoot off. The fireworks end, leaving red, gold, and green smoke lingering, which the four proceed to walk through as they move towards the ring. COLE Last week, Coach, these two men had an INCREDIBLE match against the upstarts Rodez and Lyne. COACH That's right, but the experience of the champions prevailed, and they got the win after TJ hit the St. Patrick's Day Massacre on Leon Rodez. COLE That move is so incredibly devastating…Leon showed INCREDIBLE heart just by getting up after that move! COACH That's what makes Burns and Bridges so damn tough to wrestle against: they have the skills to end a match in a matter of seconds with the SPDM and the London Bridge Dragon Suplex. Once either one of those men hit those moves, the match is as good as over. CUE: "Kick Start my Heart" by Motley Crue COLE Speaking of ending matches, here comes a man that knows EXACTLY how to do that! -The fans erupt as Josie - who is now wearing a small white skirt, white shirt, and wedding veil!~ - steps out, and is followed shortly by her NEW husband (!~), The Showstopper, K-Money! BUFFER And Their Opponents! Entering first…from Hollywood, California…weighing in at one hundred and eighty seven pounds…accompanied to the ring by Josie Baker…THE SHOWSTOPPER…K…MOOOONEEEYYY!!! -The fans cheers grow louder and louder as Money struts cockily down to the ring, holding his wife's hand the entire time. The two stop at the bottom of the ramp. Money asks for a mic as TNT pace in the middle of the ring. MONEY "Ok…allow me to introduce to you…one half…of the FUTURE…Tag Team Champions…the man who taught me about respect… ZACK MALIBU!!" -The fans go berserk as Tyler slaps his head. TJ yells out an obscenity as Money tosses down the mic and smiles… CUE: "Bring me to Life" by Evanescence COLE YES!! YES!! WE COULD SEE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TONIGHT! -The cheers suddenly rise as the curtain flies open again, and out walks Zack Malibu!, accompanied by the lovely Candie. BUFFER And his partner…from Los Angeles, CA…weighing in at one hundred and ninety five pounds…the PISSED…OFF…PREP…ZAAAAAAAACK…MAL-I-BUUUUU!!! -Zack suddenly runs down towards the ring, slapping Money's back in the process. The two suddenly rush the ring and slide in, just as the bell gets rung. DING DING DING! -Zack and Money quickly stand and rush towards TNT, who quickly drop and roll out of the ring. The fans boo as Tyler and TJ regroup outside the ring, not noticing Zack drop to all fours near the ropes. Money runs towards the opposite ropes and rushes forward. He steps onto Zack, who rises just as Money begins to jump, giving him more height…CRASH!!! The fans rise to their feet as Money slowly gets off of TJ and Tyler, who are lying on the mats, thanks to an absolutely fantastic SHOOTING STAR PRESS PLANCHA!~ COLE OH MY GOD!! COACH Calm down, Joey Styles! -The fans erupt in a "HO-LY SHIT!" chant as Money grabs TJ by his hair. He slowly picks the Irishman up and slides him into the ring, where Zack proceeds to deliver the boots. Money slowly picks up Tyler and slams his head into the announce table. In the ring, Zack has TJ at a vertical base in the corner…Zack winds up…WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOO!! -…WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOOOO!! -Zack smiles as TJ clutches at his now-beet-red chest. Zack slowly pulls TJ out of the corner and grabs his wrist. Zack pushes TJ against the ropes, just before whipping him towards the opposite ones. TJ rebounds…and DUCKS a Zack back elbow attempt. TJ rebounds once again…and ducks a Zack clothesline! TJ suddenly stops running and turns, just as Zack does…WHAM!! Zack flops to the mat, clutching the back of his head as it bounces off the mat, courtesy of a TJ Burns Crossover Clothesline. TJ stumbles back slightly as Money hops up to his corner and starts pounding on the turnbuckle pad, trying to get Zack to his feet. COLE Zack needs to make the tag here…get the fresh man in… -TJ shakes the cobwebs loose just as he tags in Tyler, who rushes in and drives his size 12 foot into the face of Zack. Tyler, in one fluid motion, goes with the momentum of his kick and turns, dropping an elbow to the chest of Malibu. Tyler quickly covers.. 1… Kick out. Tyler softly shakes his head as he grabs Zack by his left arm, before driving his knee into the elbow and wrenching back. Zack screams in pain as Tyler grabs his other arm and wrenches back as well. COLE Zack is not in a good position here, Coach… COACH That's right, Tyler is trying to injure and break that left arm of Zack to setup for the Crippler Crossface, or as Tyler has affectionally called it, The Crown Jewel of her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. COLE …he doesn't call it that, does he? COACH Well, he calls it the Crown Jewel…just thought I'd edu-ma-cate the idiots at home. -Zack once again screams as Tyler wrenches back on the left arm. Josie and Candie start to pound the mat rhythmically, trying to get the fans behind Zack, who slowly starts to rise to his feet. Tyler, knowing how to counter this move, releases Zack's right arm and kicks out his left leg. Zack drops to the mat once again as Tyler continues his hold on Zack's left arm, delivering brutal kicks to the shoulder area. COLE Zack almost found his way out! Dammit! -Tyler suddenly stops kicking Zack's arm and drags the Prep towards the TNT corner, where Tyler proceeds to tag in TJ. TJ grabs Zack's left arm and drapes it over the middle rope. TJ grabs the top rope and stands over the arm before jumping high into the air…CRASH!! Zack screams in pain as TJ drives his knee into his shoulder. TJ jumps up again…CRASH!! Another vicious knee to the shoulder, and another scream of pain from Malibu. TJ slowly picks up Zack and pushes him into the corner, where TNT tag. Tyler hops inside the ring as TJ suddenly rushes towards Zack's corner! TJ leaps from near the middle of the ring towards K-Money…WHAM!! The two go tumbling to the outside from the HUGE Cross-Body! COLE The athleticism of TJ Burns is uncanny! He jumped from the middle of the ring to K-Money and went over the top rope!! -Meanwhile, Tyler has Zack against the ropes…Tyler suddenly whips Zack off towards the opposites, but holds onto his left arm, and in one fluid motion, drives his elbow into Zack's shoulder, causing the Prep to drop to his stomach…AND INTO THE CROWN JEWEL!! THE FANS RISE TO THEIR FEET AS TYLER WRENCHES BACK ON ZACK'S NECK!! ZACK STRUGGLES TOWARDS THE ROPES!!! COLE CROWN JEWEL!! CROWN JEWEL!! -Zack slowly drags himself towards the closest ropes…AND GRABS IT!! The fans breath a sigh of relief as the ref drops and attempts to get Tyler to break the hold, but the young lad from England refuses! The ref starts the rope count…1…2…3…4…Tyler suddenly lets go and rolls away and stands, arguing with the ref. Zack releases the rope and rests, draping his left arm over it…unaware that TJ Burns is perched on the top rope! Tyler slowly stands…BUT IS PUSHED OFF BY K-MONEY!! TJ flips forward and lands with a crash on his back and neck, causing the young'un to flop around. Money raises his left hand and slaps it hard with his right, telling the ref that he tagged! COLE K-Money using one of TNT's trick's against them!! COACH YES! THAT is Awesome! YES! -Money quickly climbs into the ring as Zack slowly slides out. Money starts driving his boots into the chest of TJ Burns, who tries to roll towards his corner. Tyler, seeing that his teammate is in trouble, pushes the ref away and lunges for Money, who quickly sidesteps, kicking the back of Tyler's left leg. Tyler drops to the mat as Money grabs TJ by the hair, picking him up. Money quickly positions TJ in a suplex position and lifts…CRASH!! The fans erupt as TJ and Tyler both clutch at their ribs! TJ rolls to the outside as Money covers Tyler! COLE Front Suplexing TJ Burns onto Tyler Bridges! Cover! 1!…2!…No! Tyler kicks out at 2! -Money quickly stands as Zack climbs onto the apron. Money delivers a kick to the gut of Tyler before positioning him in a suplex position…Money quickly lifts….AND DROPS TYLER OVER THE TOP ROPE!! The fans erupt as Money quickly hops outside onto the apron, grabbing the rope perpendicular with Tyler's body. Money smiles at the fans before leaping up onto the rope! Money leaps off…WHAM!! The fans cheer and groan…they CHOAN, if you will…as Tyler's body goes limp and drops to the mat! COLE FRONT DROPKICK TO THE HEAD OF TYLER BRIDGES FROM K-MONEY!! THIS KID IS UNBELIEVABLE! -Money quickly stands and takes in the outrageous applause of the crowd. He smiles wide as he extends his hand to Zack Malibu, who proceeds to slap it, making him the legal man. Zack swoops into the ring, amidst the roar of the crowd, and grabs Tyler by the head, lifting him onto his feet before whipping him towards the opposite ropes. Tyler reboundsslap…WHAM!!! Tyler crumbles to the mat!! COLE SCHOOL'S OUT!!! SCHOOL'S OUT!!! COVER HIM ZACK!!! -The crowd roars with applause as Zack covers Tyler, who lays lifeless in the middle of the ring. Zack hooks the leg… 1!!!!!! 2!!!!!! 3!!!! 4!!!! 5!!!! Zack lets go of the leg and sits up, staring at the ref, who is pointing to TJ Burns…THE LEGAL MAN!! The fans start to boo as TJ slowly slides into the ring... COLE TJ BARELY saved TNT's Tag Title's!! He must have tagged Tyler when he hit the ropes! COACH BRILLIANT!! -Zack stands slowly and glares at the ref, before grabbing TJ by the hair…WHAM!! LOW BLOW!! The Ref never saw it! Zack leans forward, holding his jewels…TJ stands quickly and hooks Zack's arms… COLE He's going for the St. Valentine's Day Massacre!! -TJ lifts…CRASH!! Zack's neck folds like an accordion, causing the capacity crowd to boo. TJ slowly covers… 1…. 2…. 3NO! K-Money makes the save! The ref pushes Money back towards his corner as Zack rolls out of the ring, where Tyler - who is still shaking off the cobwebs - is waiting. Tyler quickly picks Zack up...WHAM!! Zack's head bounces off of the steel ring-post like a rubber ball…WHAM!! Once again, Zack's head meets the steel…Tyler pulls Zack back again…WHAM!! Zack screams in pain as his left shoulder now meets the post. Tyler, having done his job, quickly slides back into the ring and hops onto the apron. TJ slowly stands and tags in Tyler, who rushes in like a pitbull. He quickly drops down…AND LOCKS ZACK BACK INTO THE CROWN JEWEL!!! COLE The Crown Jewel has been locked on again!! Zack is nowhere near the ropes!! -K-Money, seeing his partner in trouble, rushes back into the ring…WHAM!! The sole's of his boots meet the face of Tyler, forcing the British Pitbull to release the hold. Both men now lie in the middle of the ring…Zack slowly starts to crawl towards Money, who has his hand stretched out…Zack is inches away…centimeters…TAG!! Money rushes in like a HOUSE…EN…FUEGO!~ and drives his boot into the gut of Tyler Bridges, causing him to bend forward. Money gets into position and double-underhooks Tyler's arms…He lifts……CRASH!! The fans erupt as Money quickly rolls Tyler over!! COLE SHOWSTOPPER! SHOWSTOPPER!! HERE'S THE COVER!! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!!NO!~!! TJ barely made the save again!! The ref starts to push TJ back towards his corner as Money stands…WHAM!! Money drops like a sack of potatoes! The fans boo as Tiffany rolls out of the ring, throwing the Tag Title belt back towards the time-keeper. COLE That Jezebel! Damn her! COACH HERE COME'S JOSIE!! -Tiffany shrieks as Josie comes running towards her, chasing the Italian diva around the ring. Meanwhile, the ref's attention is back on the two men lying on the mat…he starts to administer the count… 1…. 2…. 3…. Tyler and Money start to stir. 4…. 5…. 6…. Both men are on their knees now… 7… 8… Tyler is the first to stand, and delivers a boot to face of Money, causing the Showstopper to fall back to the mat. Tyler looks out at the crowd, who's boos are deafening…and slowly makes a cutting motion across his throat! COLE He's signaling for the London Bridge! -Tyler slowly picks Money back up and turns him around, putting him into the Full Nelson. Tyler lifts…but Money wraps his leg around Tyler's! Tyler tries again, but again, Money blocks it! Seeing his opportunity, Money quickly lifts his right leg…WHAM!! Tyler groans as he holds his groin. Money stumbles forward and turns…before running full-bore towards Tyler…WHAM!! Tyler flops to the mat once again, holding the side of his face!! COLE ANOTHER hellacious front dropkick from K-Money! Can he capitalize?! -Money stands quickly as he regains his composure and runs towards his corner, where Zack is laying on the apron, holding his left arm. Money turns…and sees Tyler standing in the corner. The fans erupt as Money smiles wide…and lets out a loud scream! COLE Dr. Smooth's Secret Recipe, coming up!! -Money runs forward towards Tyler, just as TJ hops in. TJ pushes Tyler out of the way slightly, causing Money to leap forward onto the second turnbuckle. Using their incredible speed, TNT grab both of Money's arms and lift…CRASH!! Money lands right on the back of his neck!!!! Tyler Bridges covers as TJ rushes towards Zack, who is now standing and knocks him off the apron! COLE BIG BANG!! BIG BANG! BIG BANG!!! TNT HIT THE BIG BANG!! COVER!! 1!!! 2!!!! 3!!!!! DING DING DING!! CUE: "TNT" by AC/DC! -The fans erupt in a chorus of boos as TJ jumps around the ring, throwing his hands in the air! TNT just defeated K-Money and Zack Malibu!! COLE I don't believe it… COACH WHAT?! H…HOW!~? BUFFER YOUR WINNERS!…at 20:37…AND STILL!!…OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!…T…N….TEEEEEE!!! -The champs quickly slide out of the ring and grab their belts from the time-keeper. Tiffany and Becky join them as Zack slides slowly into the ring, along with Josie and Candie. Zack and Josie check on Money as TNT walk quickly up the ramp, holding their titles high in the air as they watch the ring. COLE TNT…TNT just defeated K-Money and Zack Malibu… COACH …That was absolutely fantastic…