Man Who Sold The World

I've been playing EWR off and on for as long as I can remember. I recently, snuck and downloaded it on my office computer and have been playing it religiously while it's slow. I try different scenarios everytime to keep my interest up, and right now I've created a fed (which Court H. Bauer became Owner of) IPWA, International Pro Wrestling Alliance, in which I focus entirely on the wrestling aspect of things. I just randomly put together matches and whatever clicks, I run with. And my roster is fucking boss (thanks in part to TNA going bankrupt): I've got Bryan Danielson as World Champion, feuding with Samoa Joe, Nigel McGuinness, and Homicide. The Briscoe Brothers are feuding with Red/Low-Ki, AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels, The Motor City Machine Guns, and Kings Of Wrestling. And I have an HBO late evening timeslot with Kevin Nash on commentary. The results of my last TV show: Christy Hemme debuted, and seduced Jimmy Jacobs, whose been looking for a girl. Seems she showed up at the perfect time. Hm... This motivated Jacobs to challenge anybody from the back to a match, which Christopher Daniels accepted. Jacobs got the win after interference from the Motor City Machine Guns. Jacobs celebrated, as Hemme looked on pleased. Nigel McGuinness was backstage talking about his dream of winning his first World Title and bringing it home to London. He claims Bryan Danielson doesn't carry the title with dignity. The Briscoe Brothers came out for a tag title defense against the surprising team of Low-Ki and debuting The Amazing Red. Was a **** 1/2 classic according to The Dames (heh). The Briscoes retain and afterwords the two teams shook hands, signifying respect and a definite future rematch. We immediately cut to the backstage area where their is a pull apart brawl going on between AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels and The Motor City Machine Guns. Agents break it up. Our Main Event of the evening is Takeshi MORISHIMA returning from an extensive tour with NOAH to take on the arrogant and unpredicatable Austin Aries. Aries has been furious at the fact that NOAH (or any other international group) didn't pick him up for a tour. He claims to be the best North American wrestler in the world, and was going to prove it by going through international stars ONLY. Thats right, last week Aries made an open challenge to any int'l star, which was answered by KENTA, who subsequently fell victim to the 450 splash. However, Aries was not able to secure a victory over the powerful MORISHIMA, as he fell victim to the AMAZE IMPACT. Afterwords, out of frustration, Aries attacked Japanese referee Jun Ono. The show ends, with a preview of our big show BEST OF THE BEST which will feature BRYAN DANIELSON defending his WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE and UNDEFATED STREAK against SAMOA JOE and NIGEL MCGUINNESS in a Three Way Dance. I'll keep you guys posted, I'm leaving work right now.

King Of All Banks, you may remember him as the commentator for the Racial Draft on the Chappelle Show. He had a reoccuring role on that show. Probably one of the best (white) comedians out there. I mean, name one white comedian that can rock an all black crowd? Look him up on youtube.

How I didn't find out about this last year, when it happened, is beyond me. All I know is, Bill Burr is my new favorite comic. God I hate Philly. Discuss.

Moka Only "Speakers"

For some reason, every time I picture Pennywise, it's always with the clown paint, only he has that bell hop outfit he wore in Home Alone 2, and that snotty English accent. And he always says: "Sto-len credit caaard."

I see your point. My plan is to have a psychedelic trip and see if Cthulhu and I can sit down and resolve our issues. Maybe do a remix to a Blues Traveler song or something. I can imagine him (it?) being godly on the harmonica. I had an awesome trip once and smoked Freddy Krueger out. He was just about to tell me how he gets into everyones dreams, when I snapped out of it. Haven't been able to lure him back since. But that's another story...

Convinient Theater Alignment? Edited for question mark

I have had many a dream of smaller Cthulhu's. Like a little village of them, about the size of smurfs. They like Aquafina water baths, and MST3K reruns. They hail me. And my wrist watch.

"She had THC in her system"

I'll give you a call, if only to talk about the giant Cthulhu I've been seeing in my dreams. Apparently, I have a Cthulhu Cultist Hunting Permit and he's got his eyes on me for that. Oooh, I get shivers just talking about it. It's like, "What's that all about, ya know?"

Get A Life (I think I'm the only person who remembers this show. Eh, only had like 22 episodes) Aeon Flux Freaks & Geeks Undeclared

DarthTiki, I went to the same screening by way of Pasadena. Long ass drive, just to have them tell me to come back next tuesday. I was a little upset, if only because I wasted a good high.

Is that even, u know... possible??? I mean, I suppose the beans can go one way, and the frank can go the other, but I can't understand how it could resemble camel toe. It'd hurt, I'd assume. And is it gay? I mean, you'd definately have to be wearing some tight fucking jeans in order to pull this off. No air space at all, yaknowwhatimsayin'? Discuss.

I just realized I typed "heck". I actually typed the word "heck", how funny.

The entire thing takes place from the perspective of a party goer with a camera, waiting to surprise their friend, Rob. It's basically a nice, big bon voyage party between friends. The entire thing feels incredibly real and like plenty of parties I've been to myself--people mingle, munch on chips, chatter, etc. Rob arrives, everyone yells surprise, the camera person interviews people for anything they have to say to Rob before he leaves. After probably 30 seconds or a little longer, the apartment shakes, the lights flicker, people scream and head to the roof. A crowd approaches the edge of the roof immediately as a massive explosion miles away takes place. People scream and start scrambling back to the stairs. Right before they enter the stairwell, something like a comet (a piece of the previous explosion) comes flying near the people and the roof. The camera is very jumpy and cuts in and out as people make their way down a darkened stairwell to the street. At this point, I can't remember if the screen cuts to black and says "From producer JJ Abrams..." or if that happens once they're all on the ground. Either way, it's at a good moment and is the first inkling as to what we're watching. Once on the ground, some people are running in hysteria while others look into the distance trying to figure what's happening. Pieces of the explosion start flying towards the ground and hitting buildings all around. The people that were just looking into the distance finally start moving. At that moment, a massive piece of the explosion starts heading towards the camera. It flies right by and skids down the middle of the city street, hitting some people along the way. The piece finally slows down, rocks back towards the camera, and there she is--Lady Liberty's face, in flames and destroyed. Cut to black. Hitting theatres January 2008 (I think it was 01/18/08). In my opinion this is one of the most effective trailers I've ever seen. It's not polished like most big budget film trailers, but it felt huge. It had people in the theatre chattering, wondering what the heck this is and when it's coming. The entire trailer had a verisimilitude to it. It felt like it was happening... like we were there. In short, it did it's job and then some. Surprisingly, they didn't say what the name of the film was in the trailer. Whatever it's called in the end though, I'm there. This preview had me more tense and excited than anything I saw in Transformers. And heck, I even liked Transformers in all its Bayish ridiculousness. I haven't been this excited for a project since I was a little boy, and its got me guessing up a storm as to what this could eventually reveal itself to be. My personal guess is GODZILLA. It's extremely marketable, and to add the handheld element to the franchise would be all kinds of awesome. JJ's smart, and because I believe so, I would rule out LOST connections. Discuss.

Rumsfield's got jokes!!!

Right now I'm working with the Abe Lincoln aka The Anti-Mustache. This is my first attempt at a beard, as I've mostly stayed clean shaven, or used the goatee. I wanted something new.

Ya'know, I don't post on here too much, and I relatively keep quiet unless I have some sort of funny (or un-funny) picture to post, or some alcohol-induced rant to post in the Choco Socko. But I'd like to take a moment to comment on a wrestler who was partly responsible for me keeping up-to-date on wresting to this very day. As an avid wrestling fan going on twenty years now, I was devoted to following great wrestlers, and Chris Benoit was the epitome of Great. He worked his ass off and made wrestlers around him better because of that, something very few veterans can do nowadays. In a profession, where competition is few and far between, and "Entertainment" reigns over athleticism, it was good to see a guy stick to what made this business so damn good: Wrestling. The situation aside for a moment, we have no idea what this profession puts on an individual. The amount of hard labor day in and day out it does to the body, mind, and spirit, and to have to deal with personal issues as well, is nothing short of superhuman. My prayers go out to Benoit's immediate family and his close friends. It's just a surreal situation and one I'd never thought would affect me the way that it has done. I've been to several wrestling shows, met and spoke with Benoit personally at Autograph sessions and conventions and he just seemed so humble. I never knew the guy, but I felt a connection with him as a fan, as I felt I got to know him more each time he stepped into the ring. Obviously, I was incorrect. I haven't been as shocked as a fan since Owen Hart's passing (where I consoled my mother whom, being a fan along with me, cried for several hours as TV news stations played the breaking news). I'm really at a loss for words, but seeing as how I work the night shift, and I can't sleep this situation off, I'd thought it best that I attempt to let out everything I'm thinking right now. Just a tragic situation and my prayers are with everyone in this matter. If anything, it shows that unity is still around, as we've all gathered on this newsboard; friends, strangers, maybe even enemies, and embraced this situation with laughter, sorrow, and shock as a family would. Geez, I don't know man, I'm trying to end this like a journalist would, but I can't. I'll just say, I hope they get Chavo Guerrero some assistance, because I know that this man is at the breaking point. God I feel for him. R.I.P Chris, Daniel, and Nancy.

"99 Problems" makes so much sense now.

Oh my.

I co-sign. I pretty much laughed my ass off.

I saw the Robot Chicken episode in December. It was awesome. George Lucas, Mark Hamill, and Hulk Hogan had voice appearances from what I remembered. I wonder when it will air...

No gents. It's already automatically one star for the aloe vera/lefty line. You guys just can't appreciate good poetry.

Ahem... Dear Porno Dear Porno, I know you will miss me For we've been together like aloe vera & lefty My right hand, and a box of Kleenex Brown mail case keeps the logo secret (shhh...) Gimme a couple of beers, shit I might just sneak in A little sperm, and like peaches and herb We'll be reunited and it'll feel so good While you're on mute mouthing "Oh, it feels so good" Dear Porno, my wife sees you as competition And she's tired of hearing "Baby, let's try this position" She says "Don't even mention anal beads" "No manage-a-three, no you can't use whips and chains on me!!" I retort "Baby Jake Steed, is who I aim to be!" And just as quickly, I have the couch, pressed up against me So I'm weighing out this situation And my palm is cool, but I'm paining for penetration And there isn't any sort of explanation needed We had a good run Porn, but maybe it's completed I know I learned the ropes from you, learned my stroke from you Together we sat back, and choked a few Since my balls dropped, you've been my boo Oh God (I'm cummin'?) No, I'm so in Love with you Nights alone you're the only thing that got me through But pussy can do things that you can't do So at her request, I must bid adieu When the pussies old and grey, we'll be at it again Until then, show some love to my homies, my friends Dear Porno. ... yeah.