The One and Only Zack Malibu Thread~!

[Guest candie45]

::is bored and demands some entertainment::

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Starts dancing on the bar.::

[Guest mach7]

LUPUS CANIS DEBUT PROMO

 

[Darkness.]

 

[Fade up.]

 

[3AM]

 

[The camera pans along the halls of an abandoned apartment building deep within a run-down inner-city. Exactly what city this is, we do not know. What we do know, however, is that this is definitely not a place you'd like to be all on your lonesome at 3AM in the morning.]

 

[*THUD*]

 

[*SMUCK*SMUCK*CRRRRACK*]

 

VOICE: Hey, hey, c'mon. Man... I was just kidding. I swear... man, don't... no... NOOOOO!!!

 

[*KEEEERASH*]

 

[The door to our left spinters and busts into several pieces as the body of some street thug comes flying through. Barely able the stand, the piece of trash can only cower as an imposing shadow bears itself over top of him.]

 

VOICE: Ungh... c'mon... man... hey... I was only protectin' my turf.. it's the way of the streets... I don't want any trou-GNUH!

 

[The figure lunges forward, gripping his victims throat with his left hand. Reaching back with his right arm he then swings forward with a vicious forearm shot to the jaw of this poor social miscreant.]

 

[unconscious. Not dead. When he wakes up, he'll think twice before he tries to muscle around this man again.]

 

[The figure releases his grip on the hapless fool, letting him slump to the filthy floor. Turning, and walking down the hall, a beam of light catches his face. An angry looking man, indeed. Definitely wouldn't want to get in his way.]

 

[He cracks his knuckles, gritting his teeth.]

 

LUPUS: S'my turf now, punk.

 

[Lupus cocks his neck to the left and then to the right, the cracking of the bones making a disgusting sound that echos throughout the hallway.]

 

[He continues on his way.]

 

[Fade to black.]

[Guest Zack Malibu]

 

::Jumps behind the bar in case Lupus decides to go there!::

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

::reaches behind the bar and grabs a Tequilla bottle and smashes it over Lupus' head::

 

Bah he's a newbie...no need to cower.

 

::as I say that Lupus stands up behind me, taps me on the shoulder and lays me out with a clothesline::

[Guest mach7]

[Lupus finishes with Parka and commenderes himself a bottle of Whiskey from behind the bar for his troubles.]

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Gives him the bottle of whiskey...OVER THE HEAD~!::

[Guest mach7]

[Lupus shakes off the effects of the smashed bottle. Blood begins to run from the several cuts that are visible across his forehead.]

 

[Lupus grits his teeth and pounces at Zack. Zack tries to fend the rabid maniac off, but to no avail. Lupus levels Zack with an uppercut, which sends him flying into a glass mirror behind the bar.]

 

LUPUS: Next time, punk, get the job done. *cracks neck*

 

[Lupus exits the bar, but before he leaves, he can be heard muttering.]

 

LUPUS: ...see you chumps on Thursday...

 

[Exit.]

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Picks up glass and checks himself in it.::

[Guest Kingpk]

Glass, huh?

 

::Foreshadows this coming HD! some more before hopping in the I Know Cal's Gay and dropping a hydrogen bomb on NHB::

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Starts drinking to heal the pain of being slammed into a mirror.::

[Guest What?]

::BAKERKICKS!~ LuPussy...drinks some BLACK LABEL with Zack::

 

 

"You ever hear that Blue Man Group?!"

 

 

::passes out::

[Guest Jimmy Beard]

::The Beard walks past the bar......stares in.........shrugs his shoulders and continues his merry walk to the barbers::

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::BAKERKICKS!~ LuPussy...drinks some BLACK LABEL with Zack::

 

 

"You ever hear that Blue Man Group?!"

 

 

::passes out::

::They SUCK! Total ripoff of The Smurfs!::

[Guest Jimmy Beard]

Finished with my beard now time to wop out my trolley and race you son of a bitches

[Guest Jimmy Beard]

SAFEWAY MANAGER: and welcome to the first annual down hill time trial of doom all competitors please make there way to mr Beard tell them your type of trolley and make way to the starting line up

 

SAFEWAY ASSISTANT MANAGER: oh yeah we got three words for ya!

 

SAFEWAY MANAGER: No holds barred

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Has flashbacks to "No Holds Barred". Sics Zeus on Jimmy Beard.

[Guest Jimmy Beard]

am i welcoming my first competitor to the greatest downhill time trial of all time

[Guest Zack Malibu]

No, you're getting beat up by a big black guy with a Z shaved into the side of his head.

 

It seems more fun than a race.

[Guest Jimmy Beard]

Not zeus the human wrecking machine

 

::picks up zeus dumps him in the tesco's trolley::

 

damn zeus you were never scary

 

::the beard sends zeus downhill, just like his career went::

[Guest caboose]

::Caboose nails a Dames-assisted~! Emerald Fusion on Jimmy Beard which forces him to leave::

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Flushes the toilet and waves bye bye to Jimmy.::

[Guest caboose]

::Didn't realise he was in the bathroom::

[Guest RevEvil]

So let me get this straight, I get a tag partner who never shows up, a promised title reign that never happens, and a feud that is cut before anything can happen. I guess I'm WWE material.

[Guest caboose]

::Stamps 'WWE Material' on Rev's head::

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

:: runs in, tap dances wildly, runs out ::

[Guest RevEvil]

Thanx ::Acid drops Caboose::

[Guest caboose]

::Caboose lies face first on the mat contemplating life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness on the Planet of the Apes::

[Guest RevEvil]

::ATM contemplates using the hammer, but restrains himself::

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

::grabs the hammer and nails ATM's shoes to the floor then uses him as a punching bag. Everytime he hits him he springs back for another shot::

 

This is fun!