Waiting until marriage......

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

Okay I stand corrected, but some of them are referring to cheating on your spouse and staying with your one spouse.

 

I was thinking more along the lines of having sex with someone you know you're going to marry and are engaged with.

[Guest stardust]

That definitely takes a lot of willpower, and more power to them for being able to hold those beliefs and follow through with them.

 

Like so many other people in this thread have stated, though, I, however, couldn't do that. I'm an affectionate person and I like to hug, I kiss my friends and my family all the time. I also happen to believe that before marrying anyone, you should live with them for at least six months and have a sex life. While sex may not be the most important thing about a marriage, it is somewhat important, and I want to know that whenI get ready to have kids that I'm gonna enjoy making those children. And you really don't wanna marry someone only to find out that they're feet are always cold in bed and they pick their nose while watching football every Sunday. Little things like that break marriages up, but if you live together before you get married, it gives you time to work out some of those kinks and get a good rhythm down with each other.

[Guest Choken One]

I might agree with the no sex before Marriage thing but not because it was in a book.

 

The Kissing/Hugging ban seems atrocious to believe because Hugging and Kissing are the common displays of affection...What do they do? Pantomine?

 

It's natural that this would become YET another thread where religion is hastinly thrown into the debate because it's the be all end all of simple debate for some people

 

If the bible said "And God spoke unto the masses, Thou that pillage and plunder the innocent shall be bringeth salvation into the lord's heaven"...

 

You'd be going out and raping like crazy...

 

The bottom line...If that is what these people wish to do, get married without truly knowing their physical desires and without expressing affection...so be it.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

The first kiss you ever have is always awkward and messy. Add on top of that the fact that both of them are having their first kiss and you've got a disaster waiting to happen.

 

That's just not something you want to happen at your wedding.

[Guest Choken One]

It'll be a peck on the lips if anything...

 

Seriously...No wedding kiss should be a peck on the lips...

 

It's supposed to symbolize your undying devotion and love...

 

Not remind others of kissing Jessica Finkle behind the Slide during 4th grade recess...

[Rendclaw 0]

I have enough difficulty with the no sex before marriage concept because I never can understand that mindset. Like stardust says (we agree on something again, what a shock ), if i am going to marry someone, you can best believe that I am going to have to have sex with her, because while its not the most important thing to me in a relationship, you best believe that its in the top five.

 

Screw that. Top three.

 

Anyway, I do find the no kissing/hugging thing to be VERY creepy. If they believe that it makes the consummation of their love and commintment to each other in the eyes of God that much better, dare I say perfect, that their thing.

 

But in my eyes, I see two very repressed people who will use their religion as a crutch if they are not compatible physically.

 

And stand a good chance of literally exploding on their wedding night.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

What a couple of deluded dipshits. I truly and dearly, with all of my being, hope that this laughable trainwreck of a marriage ends in a completely sterile dissatisfied couple, and a messy divorce. With any luck, they'll sleep in separate beds and never breed.

 

Humans are animals..denying urges, ESPECIALLY in an environment like a monogamous relationship is insane. I have absolutely zero respect for people that so attach themselves to a single ideal to the point where they're fucking with their biology and human nature.

 

I'm also willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that both of them are incredibly ugly.

[Guest Fallen Angel]

I've got a quick question for you, Agent. Why do you want this relationship to fail so badly? Is it solely because you don't agree with them? Because, reading your post, I can't seem to find any other reason.

[Ripper 0]

I understand that the moral thing to do is to commend these people, but no physical contact is fanatical to say the least. It is not wrong to call this bizarre...because it is. I mean, the part of the article said that his daughter hadn't even held her husbands hand before the marrige.

 

Yeah, its great that they set goals and didn't do something. But they are doing it under the pretense that this is how God wanted it or something, which means they are taking a extremist view of the text. That shit is scary.

 

No physical contact between friends is wierd to some extent, but in a monogamous relationship to not hold hands or hug is VERY bizarre.

[Stephen Joseph 0]

I'll bite...I'll respond

 

Aristotle once said, life is to be lived in a golden mean, between extremes. We should guess that it is in the extremes that life is rough. I think Garth Brooks had a song about that...

 

Anyways, I admire any couple that can somehow stay celibate until marriage. I didn't, and there are times where I realize it wasn't the best decision. Conviction to a religion is wonderful, and many of religions have beliefs that are predominantly helpful to its subscribers...that's what religion does, or at least one thing.

 

While I won't judge them on their belief, I am concerned about it. I don't think its a naturally healthful human condition for them to full abstain from all sentiments of affection. I cannot see holding hands or a light touch on a shoulder as sinful, and I can't think of a circumstance its shameful.

 

To each his own, but Stu, if you can tell me a bit more about why you'd subscribe to this particular ethos, I'd at least like to be a little more educated...In your eyes is this a personal judgement call, a preference, or where would it be supported in religion.?

[Mystery Eskimo 0]

I have to respect their strength of will but I wonder, how can you be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone if you've never even touched them?

 

Maybe they have a more intellectual connection than I'm used to but simple displays of affection are one of the best parts of a relationship.

 

Good luck to them, at any rate.

[Ripper 0]

I'll bite...I'll respond

 

Aristotle once said, life is to be lived in a golden mean, between extremes. We should guess that it is in the extremes that life is rough. I think Garth Brooks had a song about that...

 

Anyways, I admire any couple that can somehow stay celibate until marriage. I didn't, and there are times where I realize it wasn't the best decision. Conviction to a religion is wonderful, and many of religions have beliefs that are predominantly helpful to its subscribers...that's what religion does, or at least one thing.

 

While I won't judge them on their belief, I am concerned about it. I don't think its a naturally healthful human condition for them to full abstain from all sentiments of affection. I cannot see holding hands or a light touch on a shoulder as sinful, and I can't think of a circumstance its shameful.

 

To each his own, but Stu, if you can tell me a bit more about why you'd subscribe to this particular ethos, I'd at least like to be a little more educated...In your eyes is this a personal judgement call, a preference, or where would it be supported in religion.?

I can tell you right now that nowhere in the christian religion does it denounce shows of affection. This is either a complete judgement call or a skewed interpretation of the text.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I've got a quick question for you, Agent.  Why do you want this relationship to fail so badly?  Is it solely because you don't agree with them?  Because, reading your post, I can't seem to find any other reason.

Yes.

 

Also, I find their sterile denial of human nature to be revolting.

[Guest Fallen Angel]

I hope you sleep well at night.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Nah, I'm usually at work. Although I sleep fine during the day.

 

Were you by chance implying that I should feel bad about wishing misery on these two suckers?

[Firestarter 0]

Ditto everything Agent said. This isn't admirable in any way; it's merely ridiculous.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

At first reading, it seems to me like a really banal attempt at masking "I can be more devoted than your sect" in the guise of religious dedication.

[EricMM 0]

I wouldn't say that I WANT them to be upset and divorce, it's just that I'm relatively sure that they'll have an uncomfortable and useless sex life, except for the purpose of procreation. I am however almost sure that they will NOT get divorced, due to their religion. Anyone who treats the sacrament of marriage as seriously as these two do won't mix it with legal matters like divorce.

 

but to call them "stupid," "repressed," or "bizarre"

 

I don't think I understand how you could say they're NOT! They admitted that they have feelings for each other and they are repressing the natural feelings because their beliefs say so. And don't go all "If we didn't have values we'd be murdering and stealing and all" because that's bullshit. Sex and kissing and handjobs and all that don't hurt ANYONE. They only serve to bring two people together emotionally and physically. I don't understand how, if you're ENGAGED, sex is bad. Clearly these two were committed, since their parents were involved, it's not like they weren't going to get married.

 

Anyways all your arguments about prenancy and disease don't stand up to the argument that they can abstain from sex before marriage, lots and lots of people do that. But to abstain from any displays of affection? Please. If he learned how to go down on her lets say a few months before the marriage, I can promise a better honeymoon...

[rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0]

Ditto everything Agent said. This isn't admirable in any way; it's merely ridiculous.

Why? After ten years of marriage they probably wont kiss each other anyway.

[Spicy McHaggis 0]

I've got a quick question for you, Agent.  Why do you want this relationship to fail so badly?  Is it solely because you don't agree with them?  Because, reading your post, I can't seem to find any other reason.

Yes.

 

Also, I find their sterile denial of human nature to be revolting.

When you have sex, do you or your partner use contraceptives?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

You know, I could sit here and explain why my college has similar rules about dating couples, why Christians tend to pursue that route, etc, why I will endeavor to follow those rules both on and off my campus should I get into a relationship with someone . . .

 

. . . but I highly doubt anyone would want to get into why these two people have actually done this beyond the surface level. Why? Because that would make them human, and as long as we can laugh at the faceless with base motives, we will be all happy.

 

Fallen Angel said everything else I already have to say. I'm proud of my brother and sister for their seeming committments up to the end.

You Go Dude.

 

I'm the last person to be against premarital sex but if someone choses to not have sex before marrige then CONGRATS to them, they're a stronger person than I am.

 

And no kissing or hugging is strange but it's alot better than being 14 and prego. Those two deserve alot of credit for starting and continueing a relationship that has no basis in carnality.

[Ripper 0]

It is the stance that they are sexually pure only if they abstain from these physical contacts that disturb me. If someone HUGS the person they are in a relationship with, they are now sexually unpure? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard and taking a route like that is stupid, honestly.

 

No sex..fine...no kissing, fine. There are people that chose to not do these things before marrige and it is all well in good. But to say, ANY physical contact is making you dirty sexually, that is plain bizarre.

 

Don't act like there is a big problem of kids getting pregnant from those damn hugs. Or that STD that is passed from holding hands.

[TSA09 0]

The thing also with this is these two aren't some fresh out of high school kids and she is pregnant. This is a 26 and 28 year old who have never kissed anyone outside the family. Last time I checked, holding hands and hugging doesn't lead to sex. I think that Fallen Angel is looking way way way too into this. Nowhere in that article did it mention STDs or teen pregnancies. Sure you can use that as an arguement as to why you should wait til you are marriage, however how does kissing, hugging or holding hands factor into STDs or pregnancies?

[EricMM 0]

And anyone who thinks this is some kind of religion bashing, think about this. In most religions, including Christianity, hugging and kissing are good. My church youth group has an excellent youth group program, and hugging was not discourged. We were not banned from doing regular teenage things like sitting in each other's laps, dancing, slow dancing, and all.

 

I don't care WHY someone tells me kids can't get comfortable with each other, be it religion, distaste, laws, whatever. It's wrong, and it's either a misinterpretation of something, or flat out malice.

 

I hope these two get married buy some sex book, and get freaky. There's nothing unchristian about that.

 

But their honeymoon is STILL going to suck, and that should be the best sex you can have!

[TSA09 0]

Maybe someone will give them a Kama Sutra book before hand.

[Nighthawk 0]

Remember, whatever these people do, before or after marriage, they aren't going to enjoy it anyway. This is a good thing, cause they're just saving themself from the disgusting chore of physical contact for a while longer.

[EricMM 0]

Maybe someone will give them a Kama Sutra book before hand.

 

So you're saying they wouldn't burn it?

 

Intesting...

[NoCalMike 0]

Ya, I can totally imagine their honeymoon first night as the guy gets naked and the girl reacts just like a highschool girl that has never seen a nude male. Since that is where her mind probably is as far as this kind of stuff goes.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I've got a quick question for you, Agent.  Why do you want this relationship to fail so badly?  Is it solely because you don't agree with them?  Because, reading your post, I can't seem to find any other reason.

Yes.

 

Also, I find their sterile denial of human nature to be revolting.

When you have sex, do you or your partner use contraceptives?

Absolutely.

 

I don't want any babies or blisters. Also, why did you ask that?

[Ravenbomb 0]

if, before they got married, he or she hugged one of their friends, would that count as cheating on the other one?