One And Only Observations About Nothing Thread

[edotherocket 0]

A black box is normally bright orange so it is easy to spot in a wreckage.

 

It is called a black box because of the word association black has with death.

[Nighthawk 0]

Yeah, I read that in a Chuck Palahniuk novel, but I didn't know how reliable that was.

[treble 0]

Don't you hate it when you switch radio stations and find that one of your favourite songs is about half way over and you spent the first half listening to shitty commercials on another station?

 

Or when you're watching something on TV, change the channel and 30 seconds later forget what you're watching, so you spend 2 minutes flicking through the channels trying to remember what it was you were watching, finally finding it only to miss 2 minutes of the show?

[Vern Gagne 0]

Don't you hate it when you switch radio stations and find that one of your favourite songs is about half way over and you spent the first half listening to shitty commercials on another station?

Yes. But, I also notice if one station plays a song alot of times it's played on a different station less than an hour later.

[Guest college hobo]

Why do some gas stations sell condoms like gumballs? Pay a quarter, turn a lever, and you're rewarded with a condom. I think that if I'm paying the same price for a condom that I would for a gumball and it's delivered in the same fashion, I'll get the same preformance from the condom as I would if I used a tissue as a contraceptive. Plus I'd rather have a gumball.

[River City Rocker 0]

How can people in Detroit stand watching CBS on channel 62?

 

-Ben

 

[Ripper 0]

Why do people ask stupid questions all the time. This morning I am standing at the bus stop and a guy walks up and says "Hey, did the bus come yet?"

 

Yes..the bus came. But I told it to go ahead while I stand here just in case some retarded fuck needs to know it came by or not.

 

 

And Why do people ask you questions about movies like you have some indept knowledge of it and was there. You are watching the same fucking movie I am, if you don't know why he shot that guy, its probably because they haven't shown it yet.

[caboose 0]

Why do Pizzas never have the right amount of topping on them. For example if I order a Ham & Pineapple pizza, either there is too much pineapple and not enough ham, or there is way too much ham and bearly any pineapple.

 

WHY GOD?! WHY?!

[Ripper 0]

Why do Pizzas never have the right amount of topping on them. For example if I order a Ham & Pineapple pizza, either there is too much pineapple and not enough ham, or there is way too much ham and bearly any pineapple.

 

WHY GOD?! WHY?!

Maybe they are trying to teach you to stop eating Ham and Pineapple pizza. What are you, pregnant?

[caboose 0]

Yeah but the same goes for other Pizza toppings. God hates my love of Pizzas!

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

Why do people ask stupid questions all the time.

Oh geez do I hate this one. I could be at work, standing behind the register, with my vest on and everything, and a person comes up to me and says "Do you work here?"

 

 

NO! I just love impersonating Wal-mart employees

[Ripper 0]

Or when I worked in Macy's people would come up to me, in the fucking dark and say "Are you guys closing."

 

No, we are just trying to save you, the shopper, money, by turning off the lights sporatically.

[Guest El Satanico]

I love stupid questions...because I love giving smart ass answers to them. I piss my family and friends off doing it.

 

 

Why is that hots dogs are sold in eight packs, while hot dog buns are sold in twelve packs.

[Nighthawk 0]

Why is that hots dogs are sold in eight packs, while hot dog buns are sold in twelve packs.

So you have to buy more of them. The same reason shampoo has that "repeat" on the end of the instructions, and they tell you to use two alka seltzer when one will do the job.

[Ripper 0]

Okay...so they have kids shampoo that if it gets in your eyes it doesn't burn and it cleans the kids hair just great. Then why the fuck do they put the eye burning formula in adult shampoo if they obviously don't have to.

 

Same goes for kids medicine. They get kool-aid tasting stuff and it heals them fine. We get something that taste like a mix of old cooking oil and feet. WTF!!

[Guest Choken One]

A FUCKING MEN!

[treble 0]

Okay...so they have kids shampoo that if it gets in your eyes it doesn't burn and it cleans the kids hair just great. Then why the fuck do they put the eye burning formula in adult shampoo if they obviously don't have to.

I'm pretty sure the reason for that is that there is something added to the tear-free shampoo that makes it not lather as well as 'adult' shampoo, and, even though it still works the same, people think that the more lather there is, the better it cleans.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Why do people continue to hold the pump on the gas after they've hit what they paid for inside? Do they think that they're going to fool the pump or something?

 

(looking around shiftily after the gas shuts off)

 

"I'm getting more than I paid for... hehehe..."

 

(holds pump, looks at the gas total, looks back at the pump, looks back, back and forth, back and forth)

 

"Something isn't working..."

[Guest Choken One]

the fuck? WHo pays for gas BEFORE they pump?

 

That's a new fucking one...

[Nighthawk 0]

You have to pay before. At least in some states, I would guess it's divided by state, I don't know any other way.

[Guest Choken One]

Ohio it's Pump then Pay...

 

Unless when you use a Credit Card at the pump...THEN you pay...then pump

[Ripper 0]

And whats the deal with this smell around my desk today. What the FUCK IS THAT!!

[justsoyouknow 0]

What's the deal with the air conditioning in my car going out three times in three weeks? The fuse KEEPS blowing up?

[Guest Choken One]

AC is for pussies...

 

It's not *THAT* Humid.

 

100 degrees isn't shit. Unless it hits 121 i am NOT turning the fucking AC on

[Guest wwF1587]

why do people spend several minutes trying to choose paper or plastic

 

why would someone mix pepsi and crap in a few plastic bottles, put them in several different bottle maching that crush the bottles, thus causing the smell of shit to be everyway and liquid crap all over the machines and bottles, causing me to clean it up?

 

why the fuck are some people soo pissy over a 10 cent difference on a item, its only ten FN cents!

 

why do useless, lazy loosers constantly end up working with me!?!

[Guest El Satanico]

Well my dear chap you see...plastic or paper is an extremely complex question that has been contemplated over by many a man over the years and a decision isn't an easy one to make.

 

With plastic the positives are...

 

oh bloody hell, bollocks to this i say, it's not like you stupid americans could even begin to understand such things.

[JHawk 0]

Why is it that you can apply for a job online, but if you get the job you can't work from your home computer?

[Art Sandusky 0]

What is the with the twisty corridors in lieu of actual doors for bathroom entrances? I mean, the idea of the door is privacy, and no one's ever going to be able to lock that twisty corridor.

[Nighthawk 0]

I love the twisty corridor. It makes me feel like James Bond.

[Art Sandusky 0]

But then you run the hazard of bumping into someone who was just wanking it in the stall or something, whereas with the door the only thing you have to fear is bumping into the door itself swinging open.