No Mercy 2003 Workrate Predictions Thread

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Biker Chain Match for the WWE Championship*

Brock Lesnar Vs. The Undertaker

 

- Lesnar and Taker have some in-ring chemistry and have delievered good work together on occaision. This match with definitly have a lot of heat, which helps a match tremendously. I predict *** for this match with Lesnar going over.

 

"I Quit" Match (Power positions on the line)

Vince McMahon w/Sable Vs. Stephanie McMahon w/Linda

 

- I'm too disgusted to comment on this match at all, save to say that I hope this is the blow-off to Vince being on SmackDown and after this he'll do what he did from the time Austin left RAW till No Way Out and stay off of TV. I'm going to predict: -** and Steph going over.

 

United States Title

Eddie Guerrero Vs. The Big Show

 

- This match has the potential to be a very cool big man/little man match. Guerrero has to know that he's in a position to enter the top of the card very soon and carrying Show to a good match would be the icing on the cake. I'm going to predict ** 1/4 because his name is Eddy and not Jesus and say that Eddy hangs on to the strap.

 

Kurt Angle Vs. John Cena

 

- Though some on this site have their doubts, I think this match will be a very intense old-school brawl with a lot of athleticism on both sides. The build has been very good to this with Cena both insulting and jumping Kurt in the back and in storyline terms Kurt is rabid for revenge and the chance to shut Cena up. Their first match together on SmackDown last year was very good and Cena's only improved since then. I'll be bold and predict *** 3/4 and Kurt Angle going over.

 

Chris Benoit Vs. A-Train

 

- After multiple unanswered losses to Benoit in short, mediocre matches, this is A-Train's chance to silence critics on this site and in Kayfabe-Land by putting away Benoit in decisive fashion. If he doesn't have a good match here however, I don't see how he can continue to be pushed. I predict ** 3/4 stars and the A-Train finally derailing Chris Benoit.

 

Matt Hardy Vs. Zach Gowen

 

- If it's short, it could be acceptable. I predict * 1/4 and Hardy going over.

 

WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Mysterio Vs. Tajiri

 

- This match is going to completely and totally kick our asses. These guys have been giving us great stuff on SmackDown! for a while and if they decide to pull out all the stops then we could see something truly special. I predict **** 1/4 and MOTN along with Tajiri holding on to the belt.

[Guest Anglesault]

The Biker Chain match looks to be some type of ladder match or "(who the fuck cares) on a poll match" With Lesnar and Taker invovled, that just can't end well. * 1/2 for the heat alone.

 

Vince vs. Stephanie: Oy vey. -***, for the match, take away one more star for the incestous nature of it all. -****.

 

Eddie vs. Big Show: This could actually be a lot of fun, if Show works hard. **1/2, but a fun **1/2

 

Angle vs. Cena: Stupid feud that is happening for no reason containing moronic rap battles leading up to a mediocre match that helps no one. **3/4. Great use of both guys, Vince.

 

Benoit vs. Albert: I can't be bothered to care about either guy anymore. Well, I never cared about Albert, but whatever. **1/4

 

Hardy vs. Gowan: Zachy does nothing for me. DUD.

 

Mysterio vs. Tajiri: Should be a great match, but it will only get like 7 minutes. ***, match of the night.

 

What a show.

[The Mandarin 0]

Mother of God, that's not the whole card, is it?

 

Anyway-

 

Brock/Taker- ***1/2 I liked their other stuff. It should be TV main event quality. Hopefully the stipulation rules are decent.

 

I Quit Match- *, wrestling wise. I think it could be entertaining, somehow. Hopefully.

 

Eddie/Show- **1/2. Hopefully it will be a GOOD comedy match. I don't want to see feces used as a weapon. Remember Cole's last commentating gem when shit was used as a weapon-

 

"Oh no! Here it comes! A Rock Bottom! A Rock Bottom into the dog poop! Into the dog poop! The dog poop! The dog poop! A rock bottom- int- the dog poop!"

 

Angle/Cena- ***3/4 to ****. Since both of these guys are my two favorite wrestlers, I'll probably be on the edge of my seat the whole match.

 

Benoit/A-Train- **3/4. I don't know. When Benoit has a boring opponent, I don't care for the matches at all. Now, when he has an opponent who's decent, I'm hooked. If he was facing Rhyno, maybe I would actually care. But I'm not hyped for the match in the least.

 

Matt Hardy vs. Zach Gowen- **. This really should have ended at SummerSlam. They should have just blown it off.

 

Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio- ****. Can't wait. Love both these guys, and this should be awesome.

 

 

If Shelton really is coming back next week (right?) then hopefully we'll see a WGTT match. I doubt it, because there was no time for build up, with Shelton's injury and all. They might put them against the APA. That might not be too bad.

 

SmackDown usually delivers. Hopefully this will be the same.

[Masked Man of Mystery 0]

I agree with almost everythign there except that I think Vince will win so Steph can go on her honeymoon and whatnot then have HHH turn face and go after Vince, which I think was suggested on this board before. ALso, I hope Albert loses and gets dropped so we can see people like Paul London(was that just a one night stand or is he staying?) and Kendrick and Orlando Jordan. WWE has a lot of young talent that is pretty darn good and they can't all get held off TV for God's sakes. Or so I hope(fears WWE is becoming WCW).

[Lil' Bitch 0]

My winning predictions:

 

Brock Lesnar

Either McMahon - just so one can get the hell of my TV screen

The Big Show - just so Eddie can move on into the world title chase

Kurt Angle - I don't mind Cena winning either, I like him too

PLEASE let it be Chris Benoit

PLEASE let it be Matt Hardy

Tajiri - I'm sick of Rey having it

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Vince vs. Stuff

 

MOTY. It will start off with Vince parading around the ring acting superior - Stuff will pretend to be scared and then get that "hell hath no fury" look in her eyes and slap Vince and tackle him and Vince will act all surprised and run out of the ring to Sable. Stuff will milk the crowd, they'll show Linda laughing and smiling and maybe give Stuff a high 5. Vince will come back in the ring and cheat - drawing boos. He'll milk that, Linda will have a scowl on her face and Vince will give her some sort of gesture. Vince "Dominates" (see, lightly kicks Stuff around) until Stuff hits a low blow and Vince milks that and Linda laughs. Sable will then interfere, Vince will come back and continue to dominate. Sable cheats again, Linda stops her, Vince yells at Linda then...

 

a) Linda will hit Vince and Stuff will win.

b) Linda mistakenly hits Stuff and Vince wins.

c) Linda turns on Stuff.

 

Either way, I'll go with the usual "people will say 'better than I thought it would be' while it will really just suck-ass". Crap.

 

Angle vs. Cena

 

Angle comes out with a clock around his neck freestyling. Typical WWE workrate intensive, completely void of substance, kinda match. Cena will probably win, creating a re-match at Survivor Series. It will look better than it really is. Ok.

 

Taker vs. Lesnar

 

I dig UnderCouture, but this match doesn't really play to what I like about him. They have good matches together, but this is not a good gimmick. Chain gimmicks generally don't work given the nature of it - after all, the difference between a punch and a punch with a chain on it is... NOTHING! Not the same effect as a chair shot where you get to HEAR the impact. I wouldn't be surprised to see Taker come out on top with maybe Lesnar putting him in an F-5 while the chain is wrapped around Brocks neck. Ok

 

Eddie vs. Big Show

 

Big Show attaches Eddie to a stretcher and slams him against the ring post. Crap

 

Hardy vs. Gowen

 

Typical "Hardy beats down Gowen, Gowen comes back, Moore cheats, Hardy beats down, Gowen takes out Moore, Gowen comes back to win. So 'see Vince vs. Steph'. Gowen and Hardy's respective bumping should make this watchable and better than it really looks. Blah

 

Tajiri vs. Mysterio

 

They get 5 minutes. Still best on the show. Good

[the pinjockey 0]

Whoever decided the UT match should involve a ladder needs to be shot immediately.

 

RRR, how can you dig UnderCouture as you put it, but not love Cena's "pound and ground" style? It looks like I am watching a Fedor clone with him.

 

Hardy/Gowen - ** tops, since any Hardy selling is going to look ridiculous.

 

I quit match - DUD, they seem to have a habit of knowing how to overbook McMahon matches, thus saving it from negative stars.

 

Eddie/Show - ***. Show worked some decent matches with Lesnar, so I think Eddie could drag something out of him.

 

Lesnar/UT - **. Ladder will kill this match.

 

Angle/Cena and Benoit/Train - ***. Average matches, that will prove meaningless.

 

Tajiri/Rey - ****. If they add more matches to the card drop this a *, but with this small of a lineup this match will have to go 12-14 minutes.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

*mumbles* ...sonofbitch.

[the pinjockey 0]

What? Not agreeing with a Cena/Fedor comparison?

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

*grumbles*

 

PoundnGround

 

*grumbles*

 

Sonnofabitch.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

*sneaks into thread*

 

AMERICAN STRONG STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*runs away*

[Guest Korgath]

Biker Chain Match for the WWE Championship

Brock Lesnar Vs. The Undertaker

 

- Typical hoss match, with loads of the OLD SCHOOL!!!! schtick from Cole. I see this going *** max, as Taker doesn't need to be carried, but Lesnar still can be rather green. Lesnar to go over.

 

"I Quit" Match (Power positions on the line)

Vince McMahon w/Sable Vs. Stephanie McMahon w/Linda

 

- Steph is obviously leaving, so Vince will naturally win the "I Quit" match. God knows who else is going to be involved though. This one gets a DUD.

 

United States Title

Eddie Guerrero Vs. The Big Show

 

- This has potential, but Show can't last too long in such a match. ** because Show's in it. Eddy will naturally go over.

 

Kurt Angle Vs. John Cena

 

- I think this has way too much potential to be put so low in the card. Angle has proven he can carry Cena, and if Cena doesn't screw up, I'd give this ***1/2. Angle to go over.

 

Chris Benoit Vs. A-Train

 

- A-Train to kick the shit out of Benoit in typical squash fashion. A shame, though. This match could have been so much more. *.

 

Matt Hardy Vs. Zach Gowen

 

- This won't even BE a match, I predict. Probably some screwed up heel turn by Gowen.

 

WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Mysterio Vs. Tajiri

 

- Match of the Night, but only lasting 7 minutes or so. Tajiri to retain. ****.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

*tries to catch Mulatto*

 

*fails*

 

SONNOFABITCH!

[the pinjockey 0]

I wonder if UT is going to pull out the face humping triangle choke again?

[Austin3164life 0]

Brock/Taker: **3/4

Vince/Stephanie: DUD

y/Big Show: **1/4

Angle/Cena: ***

Benoit/A-Train: **

Hardy/Gowen: 1/4*

Tajiri vs. Mysterio: ***3/4

[Cuban Linx 0]

Biker Chain Match for the WWE Championship

Brock Lesnar Vs. The Undertaker

-> Could have been good, the gimmick drags it down. Two stars or so, it should be heated at least.

 

"I Quit" Match (Power positions on the line)

Vince McMahon w/Sable Vs. Stephanie McMahon w/Linda

-> Negative 5 stars, one * for every time they do something incestuous.

 

United States Title

Eddie Guerrero Vs. The Big Show

-> Around ** or so stars probably. Judging by the build of this feud i'm expecting shit to make it's presence felt here. Whether it's Show stinkfacing Eddie with poo-stained underwear, or chokeslamming him in a pile of dog shit or something, poo will be involved, the WWE writers will no doubt be on the floor laughing in the back at how funny and witty they are.

 

Kurt Angle Vs. John Cena

-> Somewhere from ** to *** stars, not bad but nothing special.

 

Chris Benoit Vs. A-Train

-> Who cares. Benoit probably wins, it'll probably be decent for what it is.

 

Matt Hardy Vs. Zach Gowen

-> Who cares. The obnoxious cripple probably wins for god knows what reason in an average-at-best match.

 

WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Mysterio Vs. Tajiri

-> Will get about 5 minutes and will still be MOTN.

[CanadianChick 0]

Vince/Stephanie: DUD

 

Don't ya think that's a little generous?

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

God-Willing. Though I bet he'll turn into UnderYoshida and pull a Gi-Choke, but with a chain.

[Guest THE MIGHTY THOR]

I've seen diarrheas that looked better than these ppv.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

Eddie vs. Big Show

 

Big Show attaches Eddie to a stretcher and slams him against the ring post. Crap

The irony here is killing me.....

[Jack_Bauer 0]

Am I the only one that thinks John Cena v Kurt Angle will actually be a REALLY good match or something. Other than one or two people of course who HAVE faith and ARENT pesimists.

[Guest THE MIGHTY THOR]

Am I the only one that thinks John Cena v Kurt Angle will actually be a REALLY good match or something. Other than one or two people of course who HAVE faith and ARENT pesimists.

Yup, you are 100 percent right about that, you are the only one.

[Kurt Angle Mark 0]

Am I the only one that thinks John Cena v Kurt Angle will actually be a REALLY good match or something. Other than one or two people of course who HAVE faith and ARENT pesimists.

No, I think that the match will be really good too

 

Better than any Brock/Angle match and with much more heat.

[Crimson Platypus 0]

Going to go to the bar so I can see Vince put Steph in a modified STF so he can rub his manjunk all over Steph's wonderfully large caboose.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Am I the only one that thinks John Cena v Kurt Angle will actually be a REALLY good match or something. Other than one or two people of course who HAVE faith and ARENT pesimists.

It'll be just as good as Bret/Austin from Survivor Series 1996!

 

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Jack_Bauer 0]

*knows it will be BETTER than Hart/Austin*

 

Hey, it's Sarcasm !

 

[Guest Anglesault]

Am I the only one that thinks John Cena v Kurt Angle will actually be a REALLY good match or something. Other than one or two people of course who HAVE faith and ARENT pesimists.

Not pessimists, realistic.

 

It could be okay.

 

But I've been promised Austin/Hart 2.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Am I the only one that thinks John Cena v Kurt Angle will actually be a REALLY good match or something. Other than one or two people of course who HAVE faith and ARENT pesimists.

Not pessimists, realistic.

 

It could be okay.

 

But I've been promised Austin/Hart 2.

So the only way you'll be satisfied is a bleeding Cena locked in the Ankle Lock, screaming in pain, blood dripping down his face, passing out from the pain of the hold...and thus leading to a double turn?

[Jack_Bauer 0]

Cena v Undertaker = really good match.

 

Angle v Undertaker = really good match.

 

Cena v Angle = why not ?

[Guest Anglesault]

Am I the only one that thinks John Cena v Kurt Angle will actually be a REALLY good match or something. Other than one or two people of course who HAVE faith and ARENT pesimists.

Not pessimists, realistic.

 

It could be okay.

 

But I've been promised Austin/Hart 2.

So the only way you'll be satisfied is a bleeding Cena locked in the Ankle Lock, screaming in pain, blood dripping down his face, passing out from the pain of the hold...and thus leading to a double turn?

If that's the way, then so be it.

 

Last month, when I pointed out that his feud was going to be pointless and filled with stupid skits that would utimately do nothing for either guy, you all screamed at me and said that this would be Austin/Hart 2.0 and I should just enjoy it.

 

Well, I'm still waiting for that Austin/Hart vibe, because I sure as fuck don't remember a rap off leading to Survivor Series 96.

 

If you people just admit that this certainly isn't Bret/SCSA and certainly is a waste of both men's time, I'll let it go.

 

Cena v Undertaker = really good match.

 

Angle v Undertaker = really good match.

 

Cena v Angle = why not ?

 

Niether of those matches had to alot time for bad comedy