welshjerichomark 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 Bovril? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 Bovril? TSA isn't an ethnic foods kinda girl Fluff? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TSA09 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 Whipped cream is something that can be licked off, but as for foods no thanks. I'll just stick with the baby oils. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 I'll just stick with the baby oils. Crisco baby oil? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TSA09 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 No, thanks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 For a thread brimming in creativity, TSA is not bringing the mustard Mustard, which, incidentally, she could put on her crotch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TSA09 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 This thread is starting to make me sick now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 Here's another list of possible foods TSA could put on her crotch: Ketchup Salsa Mayo Hamburger Rice Oranges Sugar All purpose flour Whole Milk Potatoes Corn Coffee Whole Chicken Eggs Premium Unleaded Gas Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2004 Boy, I am truly amazed. A TSM thread gets off topic......and surprise, surprise, it's done by the same people that always do it. *drops dead from shock* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KTID 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 WOW! Took me two hours to read this thing, and it was worth every minute! Classic thread!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 Well, there's a visual I didn't need before going out to eat tonight. Thanks, Rant. Well they wanted an explanation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 Boy, I am truly amazed. A TSM thread gets off topic......and surprise, surprise, it's done by the same people that always do it. *drops dead from shock* I don't know what you're talking about Now, about that Mets logo in your avatar... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Styles 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 Ok, it's official: This is now the worst thread ever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spicy McHaggis 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 This thread sucks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 rawmvp why can't you be more like Spciy McHaggis? Always looking for chicks over 400 pounds! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spicy McHaggis 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 FOOSTER!!! Dama: Great song, eh? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted February 2, 2004 400 pound chicks? Man, they're gonna need a whole jar of peanut butter. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USC Wuz Robbed! 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 No more updates ravmvp? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted February 2, 2004 Expect an update in 45 min. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
USC Wuz Robbed! 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 awesome Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted February 2, 2004 After being repulsed by Yelena's peanut-butter laden crotch, I gathered my wet clothes and left her house. You can imagine how cold I was with the soaked clothes on. Trembling in the street -- and on the verge of pneumonia -- I casually ambled back to Natalie's house and noticed my car still parked along the sidewalk. After driving home, I took a hot shower and reminisced over what just transpired. The next day, at 10:30 AM I called Natalie's cell phone and we agreed to meet at the Coffee Bean in the nearby mall. I arrived there early and sat down at one of the tables. A few minutes later, Natalie arrived in long black jeans, red scarf, purple jacket, purple eyeliner from the night before, and her hair hastily tied back. She looked amazing; however, her morose gait seemed to indicate that she had something weighing on her mind -- an announcement that would, perhaps, change the course of our relationship. As she approached the table, I stood up, closed my eyes, and hugged her. Amid the the nondescript conversations and noises in the mall, we stood there in unison, united in the cause against human depravity and debauchery. After a few eternal seconds, she requited my affection with an unyielding hug of her own. She gently placed her head on my right shoulder, as our cheeks caressed one another. The heavenly warmth of her porcelain visage against mine was intoxicating; the ethereal rays of her aqua eyes replenished me after a night of restlessness. Her soft, exquisite, lukewarm hands allayed and assuaged my doubts and worries. In that everlasting frame in the annals of time, my dreams and fears belonged to her; and every aspect of her life was in my sole possession. I felt so empowered, so masculine, and viril with this elegant, Russian angel in my protective arms. With her right cheek against mine, and overwhelmed by the nexus that bound us, she softly whimpered, "I love you." I knew it wasn't a figment of my colorful imagination; it was a sentiment that was very overpowering yet comforting. Her love became tangible when a glistening tear streamed down her right cheek and cascaded down my own. There was more potency in that one tear than there is in an entire waterfall. We sat down at the table with our eyes fixated upon one another. I stared into her green, transparent eyes as she held onto my steadfast gaze. With our hands securely fastened to each other, she softly muttered, "So far, in my short life, I can say with conviction that I love you more than any other person. You're kind, you're sweet, understanding, and you always treat me like a princess (my heart fluttered with trepidation). For you to give the kind of attention you gave me -- here I was, this shy, withdrawn girl in Biology class. Nobody would ask about my life or even genuinely care for me and not abandon me when times got rough. But here you came...you were so stubborn (she laughs lightly)...you just wouldn't give up in trying to win my heart. I felt like fainting every time we made eye contact in the classroom or even on those plant trips (giggles and snivels) I was dying for you to ask me out...I killed myself wondering whether or not you had feelings for me; and when I discovered on that day that you did, I felt so validated. I died and went to heaven. I couldn't hold back any longer; I had no choice but to let you have my heart. I want my soul, every thought, every tear, and every laugh to be yours. I want you and I to always be together mentally and spiritually. Because... (she starts choking up) my parents won't let me be yours anymore. They, for whatever reason, resent you for breaking up Jacob and I. My dad threatened me by saying that if I continue to see you, he would disown me and never speak to me again. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry it had to be this way, but I have no choice. My heart is yours. I love you forever." She leaned over and gently kissed me on my lips in what seemed like only a fleeting second. The kiss was extremely poignant, yet emotionally heartwrenching. With one mere, innocuous kiss, I felt like someone slashed my throat. Only a few minutes ago, I peered into a world of contentment, but now I looked into an abyss of nothingness. I was speechless, as I sat there with my fists clenched, wondering what I had done wrong or what I hadn't done at all. I was dismayed, and overwrought with a bombardment of tumult, hate, love and indifference. I knew (and still know) that Natalie is mine and I'm her's. We were destined for each other; I knew it when I looked into her eyes the first time and felt something that even words can't do justice. But only time will tell... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Murmuring Beast 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 Utter garbage, but keep it going, son. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest reshad974 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 dude rawmvp, do you record your conversation ? I can't believe you remember every word you both said from the top of your head......... I mean I know this story is bullshit but for god's sake, please keep it credible as much as possible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clean rob 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 So, are we not getting your attempt at writing a sex scene then? Oh go on, I'd love to see what you come up with. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TSA09 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 What no death? BOOOOOOOOOOOO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 FOOSTER!!! Dama: Great song, eh? Of course.........Dropkicks are one of my favorite bands. I saw them in concert 3 times within 6 months. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted February 2, 2004 It's over? The crappy love novel has ended!? Alright! And rawmvp.....you really dropped the ball with this one. You could've ended this so much better but instead you kept trying to make it seem real......when we all know it's fake. I mean first of all.....nobody talks like that in real life, we've proved you a fool on every thing you tried to throw in(KGB, Russians, Peanut Butter) and then on top of all that you're only about 17 and you say you and this girl fell in love all in a month or so!? I'm severly dissapointed assclown........where was the big Punisher shootout at the end? John Woo should've directed your stupid love story. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted February 2, 2004 Re: crotches- Pop Rocks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted February 2, 2004 Don't get your underpants all into a knot, Mighty D. I'm not even close to being done. Expect another update later today. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
