The OAO Wrestling Quotes Game

[CanadianChris 0]

Steve Austin, from a commercial promoing the Austin/Bret match at Survivor Series 96. One of the awesomest promos ever, with Austin's comments intertwined so it almost sounds like he's cutting two promos at once:

 

"Pink tights. What the hell's that all about, Bret? This ain't no ballet class! Sunglasses and sparklers...what a load of crap!

 

"So you think you're coming back here to continue a legacy? Uh-uh! Stone Cold's gonna make your life a living hell! You can start begging for some mercy right now. You WILL beg for mercy...you're not gonna find it! I think you're completely pathetic.

 

"You're the best there is, was, and ever will be -- whatever! You're looking at the best there is. Austin 3:16 rules! I will kick your pink and black ass all over the Garden!

 

"I'm gonna end your legacy...(you WILL beg for mercy)...at Madison Square Garden."

[JHawk 0]

Trying to add one with a bunch of names so we have some options, so this is from the Nov. 1, 1999 Nitro.

 

Bret Hart: "I just wanna say something - first off, I didn't build my reputation by SCREWING people. I watched the replay - I watched the video footage of last week's match. It's pretty clear to me that Bill Goldberg got [muted] week. There's a lot of scum runnin' around in the back. Kevin Nash - Scott Hall - Sid - so I want you to listen up and listen loud and listen real clear - 'cause as far as I'm concerned, Bill Goldberg is the United States Heavyweight Champion...and I don't care what you think. 'Cause I don't want to win a title like that - that belt belongs to Bill Goldberg." "

[Guest Frank Grimes]

I'm paraphrasing, but this was from a late 96 Nitro:

 

Kevin Nash: "This is like feeding the Christians to the lions."

Ted Dibiase: "Hey now."

[Guest The Midnight Rocking Warrior]

Sid : " All the skep....skep......let me do this again"

Jr. " We're live pal"

( Dibiase gets a " This guy is a dumbass look on his face)

Sid-" I'm sorry"

[1234-5678 0]

Sid : " All the skep....skep......let me do this again"

Jr. " We're live pal"

( Dibiase gets a " This guy is a dumbass look on his face)

Sid-" I'm sorry"

Wow, when was that?

[DerangedHermit 0]

JR on commentary during the Invasion during a match between RVD vs Big Show:

 

Heyman: Why does RVD have to wrestle the Big Show? He's 300 lbs lighter then him.

 

JR: What do you want me to do about it? Make him go on a diet?

 

Heyman: Yeah, I read the Ross Report.

[CanadianChris 0]

From RAW:

 

Big Show: Why is he getting the I.C. title shot and not me?

RVD: Ahhh...maybe 'cause you're a tool.

Big Show: Look. I am 7'2". I am 500 pounds. I'm a giant.

RVD: Oh ok. You're a giant tool.

[DerangedHermit 0]

Booker T: I'm a 5 time WCW champion, sucka!

RVD: Wow! You lost the WCW title 5 times?

[JHawk 0]

RVD at SmackDown (10/11/2001):

 

"Far be it for me to ignore the advice of our leader, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Yeah I'll touch you again. I know when you're talking about me reachin up for the stars, you do NOT want me to pass up this opportunity. Stone Cold's cool with it - RVD's cool with it. I'm in."

[Guest Fook]

Heyman on commentary: "No one gets higher than Rob Van Dam!"

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Oh, god, I'm totally going to butcher it since I haven't heard it in two years, but...

 

"Faster than a flying luchadore, able to leap over three cruiserweights in a single bound, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's The Hurricane!" ~ Paul Heyman on commentary whenever Hurricane had a match during the first couple months of the gimmick.

[JHawk 0]

SmackDown 11/15/2001

 

Paul Heyman: "In just a few moments, at my leisure, I'm gonna call Vince McMahon out to his ring, in front of his public on a television show that's owned by his grand company. At least, that is, until this Sunday at Survivor Series."

 

["You suck" chant competes with "asshole" chant.]

 

Tazz: "Must be a lotta ex-ECW employees!"

 

Heyman: "I know how much you people appreciate what Shane and Stephanie and I have done - how Shane and Stephanie and I have stood up to the tyranny of Vince McMahon (edit) and the way it is, ladies and gentlemen, is quite simple - the WWF will DIE this Sunday. But don't blame ME for that - it's not MY fault. I'm not the one that RUINED everything that was accomplished by Stone Cold Steve Austin. You see, at Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities that are involved. It's about ending with Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday, and I listened to Mick Foley. And I agreed with everything that Mick Foley had to say - that the WWF truly does SUCK! Don't boo me. Have you watched the television show lately? Vince McMahon has lost his MIND. The man doesn't have it any more! He's a hasbeen, his ideas are antiquated, his concepts are draconian, and Mick Foley was right, because the WWF is imploding from within! Like every great empire, the WWF is imploding from within. Vince's loyal employees, like Stone Cold, left him; like Mick Foley, want nothing to do with him. Vince's own children want him to burn in hell, and I don't blame 'em. Vince McMahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor Series. And he has no hope to save his precious company! Vince McMahon has the same chances of saving the WWF as he did of realising his dream of starting a football league..."

 

[Out comes Vince McMahon.]

 

Heyman: "I want you to know that I was down on my knees, 'cause I know that you're used to men [puckers] kissin' your ass, Vinny. Every time you walk in the back there, there's Patterson and Brisco, oh what a great idea you had, Vince! (mwah mwah mwah mwah), (mwah mwah mwah mwah). You LIKE men kissing your ass, don't you , Vince, huh? 'cause that's what you're all about - a BILLIONAIRE - the BILLIONAIRE VINCE McMAHON, the creator of sports entertainment! I've waited so long to see you face to face like this. And I've waited so long to tell you to your face that I hate your stinkin' guts. But it's not just me. It's your children that hate your stinkin' guts, Vince. And at Survivor Series, your children are gonna do to you what I have waited my whole life to see somebody do to you, Vince. You are, so help me God, the most disgusting, vile son of a (beep) I've ever seen in my life. You took Hulk Hogan's blood and you built Titan Towers. You STOLE Bret Hart's dream, and with that money bought yourself an airplane with WWF all over it. And you KNOW it, you son of a (beep). You stole Shawn Michaels' smile, took your company public, and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire, like you like to tell everybody you are, oh no. See, you're a billionaire on other people's hard work. Your father - your FATHER, Vince McMahon, your father went around the country and shook the hand of every-- you know I'm tellin' the truth, don't you. You know in your heart I'm telling the truth that your father shook the hand of every promoter in this country and swore to them that he'd never compete against them...that his son would never compete against them. And when your father DIED...you competed. And with your ruthless, merciless, take no prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business, didn't you, Vince. You ran all the competition to the ground and you stole all their ideas, and you made yourself a billionaire out of it. And you know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince? You stole MINE. See I don't

give a damn about Don Owen and Sam Muchnick and Jim Crockett, I....I care about what you did to me and my family. How you stole MY dreams, how you stole MY legacy, how you stole everything that ECW represents. Because...while Doink the Clown had a - a green hair and rubber nose, Stone Cold Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around singing "Tutti Frutti'', ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named "Attitude." Oh, we got Attitude! You got nothing, man. What you got is my ideas, and you stole MY LIFE - MY MONEY - MY LEGACY!"

 

[Paul removes his hat and throws it at Vince.]

 

Heyman: "SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU and your family! I'll tell you something, your own CHILDREN hate your guts, and on Sunday, your children are gonna get even with you, for everything you stole from me, for everything you stole from them. You flaunt your affairs in front of your WIFE - you flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read! You (beep)! Look at Tazz! Look at Tazz! This man was a KILLER - he was a machine! He was a wrestler - a great wrestler, a real man...but wrestling's a dirty word to you, isn't it Vince? Your father built a wrestling company, and you - you hadda have 'sports entertainment.' 'We had to have sports entertainment, ha ha ha.' He was a wrestler, he was a great wrestler, he was a man, and now he's a fat, little, obnoxious colour commentator, and not even a good one! He is a 'sports entertainer.' He is not a *wrestler*, 'cause you made wrestling a dirty word. You made 'wrestling' a dirty word, Vince. What kind of a man are you? What kind of a man takes - takes wrestling and makes it sports entertainment? At Survivor Series, you're goin' down, Vince. I promise you, you're goin' down, and I'm gonna watch it, and your children are gonna lift their leg, standin' over your grave, and we're gonna laugh, and you know what else I'm gonna do, Vince? I'm gonna run your (beep) outta business. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it. I'm feeling GOOD about myself! AGHHHHHHHHH"

 

[Tazz locks the Tazzmission on Heyman from behind and begins tapping. At that, Vince grabs the mic.]

 

Vince McMahon: "Paul Heyman...you are the epitome of the Alliance because, this Sunday at Survivor Series, the Alliance will CHOKE."

Edited December 18, 2003 by JHawk

[CanadianChris 0]

From WrestleMania III, in the interview centre:

 

Gene Okerlund: All right, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, someone special, George "The Animal" Steele in your corner, but in my opinion, this could be your last shot at Randy Savage and the Intercontinental title.

 

Steamboat: My last opportunity. Randy Savage, the day has finally come. The minutes -- the seconds -- we have reached our moment! As you and I climb into the ring, we clash like two titans! But there will only be one winner. One winner, Savage! This Dragon is breating fire. This Dragon will scorch -- your -- BACK! I will come away with the championship belt, and see new horizons!!

[JHawk 0]

Saturday Night's Main Event (Oct. 1986):

 

Jake Roberts: "Ricky Steamboat, there are two kinds of people in the world. There are winners, and there are losers. In tonight's Snake Pit Match, my friend, you will find out what you are -- a loser! I am a winner, the ultimate winner. Because you see, DDT has never failed us."

[The Mandarin 0]

RAW, Oct. 2002-

 

"Heh, heh, heh, heh. Ehhh, what a sick freakkk..HOOOONNNNKKK."

 

-Triple H

[JHawk 0]

Who or what were we linking to, exactly? But OK, I'll work with it.

 

Raw 1998.

 

X-Pac (as Mizark Henry): "I smell what you're cooking. Smells like shit. But I think I'll eat some anyway."

[CanadianChris 0]

X-Pac (as Ken Shamrock), RAW, 1999:

 

"All this talk about sphincters is putting me in the zone! IT'S FIVE-KNUCKLE SHUFFLE TIME!!"

[JHawk 0]

Raw (3/30/1998):

 

X-Pac: "And Hogan, you'd better not stop short with Bischoff, or he'll be so far up your ass he can tell you what you had for breakfast that morning."

[CanadianChris 0]

Raw (3/30/1998):

 

X-Pac: "And Hogan, you'd better not stop short with Bischoff, or he'll be so far up your ass he can tell you what you had for breakfast that morning."

Oh, we're back to that one, are we? Well, I'll follow up with something different this time...

 

Hulk Hogan, in the interview area, at WrestleMania V:

 

But just like Donald Trump, Macho Man, I hope you're ready, brother. Because Donald Trump has questions in his own mind! He sent a whole team of seismetologists out here to check the foundations of the Trump Towers, because, when the Megapowers explode off the launching pad, brother, as we erupt over the whole Atlantic City, he was worried about the foundation. He was worried that the thousands of people in the arena might become unseated and swallowed up by the earth!

 

Donald Trump, don't worry about my Hulkamaniacs. They're survivors -- they're ready! But YOU, Macho Man, I don't care where you stand, I don't care what you believe in, all I want from you is your best! I want you to be ready! I want the Macho Madness to be at its peak! Because when Hulkamania rules, when Hulkamania lives forever, when Hulkamania puts you down on your knees, I want the whole world to realize that I beat you at your best! And at the end of WrestleMania V, I will be the World Wrestling Federation champion! And whatcha gonna do, Macho Man, when the whole world full of Hulkamaniacs DESTROY YOU?

[JHawk 0]

Saturday Night's Main Event (Nov. 1987):

 

Randy Savage to Bret Hart: "You're entering the Danger Zone. East of the Pacific Ocean, west of London, England, south of Mars, and north of Hell, yeah."

[CanadianChris 0]

FINALLY!! I've tried to set this up for awhile.

 

Randy Savage, at WM3:

 

"Oooh yeah! Macho Man Randy Savage, Intercontinental Heavyweight champion, was in a state of shock when Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat came back, yeah. But thiiiis time, in front of the largest audience in the world -- I will not only embarrass you, not only pin you with the 1-2-3 count, I'm gonna put you out of wrestling for good. Oooh yeah, Dragon, I AM the lord and master of the ring! And you're gonna find that out, one athlete to another, RIGHT NOW! You can't be with me, no. History beckons the Macho Man, yeah!"

[MillenniumMan831 0]

From SummerSlam 1994:

 

Savage: And now, I'm going to do the thing in the ring!

Vince: (Must've been a bit befuddled) Yes, Macho Man gonna do da ting uh da ting!

[JHawk 0]

SummerSlam 1990:

 

Roddy Piper: "Mr. Perfect is from Minnesota, right?"

 

Vince McMahon: "Right."

 

Piper: "His girlfriend is also from Minnesota. She has nice hair. All over her body."

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Piper: I grew my hair long...that way you can tell the difference between me and Mr. T.

 

-WRESTLEMANIA 2-

[Guest Frank Grimes]

WWF Superstars, Fall '91

 

Heenan: "Well, that's your opinion. But your opinion means nothing to the real world's heavyweight champion, Ric Flair."

 

Piper: "Let me tell you something about Ric Flair. I scare Flair!"

 

Heenan: "Oh, you scare Flair? If Ric Flair was out here right now, he'd have you down on your hands and knees in your little skir-, uh, kilt and he'd have you shining the belt of the real world champion."

[JHawk 0]

Saturday Night's Main Event (November 1986)

 

Gene Okerlund: "Cowboy Bob Orton says there was never any friendship between you."

 

Roddy Piper: "Never any friendship, huh? What about that time I got lovely Lucy to go out with you, huh? It took 14...14 months of Sundays and a hundred dollar bill in her pocket!"

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

WrestleMania sdfasfd (I forget which one), Piper's Pit w/ Morton Downey.

 

Piper: I told you to put out the cigarette, and to stop blowing the smoke in my face. I won't tell ya again.

 

**Morton Downey blows smoke in Piper's face again. Piper backs up as the fans begin chanting for him to do something. Piper scratches his chin.**

 

Piper: Ya know, Morty...ya know, I think I just might want one of those cigarettes, now that I think about it! Yeah, I'll take one of those cigarettes of yours, and I'll smoke it in this ring with ya!

 

**Morton stands up to check his pockets for his pack, as Piper moves a podium to reveal a fire extinguisher. Morton turns around, and Piper sprays him in the face with the fire extinguisher.**

[CanadianChris 0]

Yeah, that was WrestleMania V.

 

Bobby Heenan, during the Macho Man/Liz reunion at WM VII, at random people crying in the crowd:

 

"Maybe her shoes are too tight."

 

"Must've had the chili dog with onions."

 

"This is better than Love Story...if you like that kind of mush."

[Guest Frank Grimes]

Survivor Series 93:

 

Brain: "How many kids does Helen Hart have?"

 

Vince: "I believe 12, Mr. Heenan."

 

Brain: "Oh, one of each."

[CanadianChris 0]

Heenan, with Studd and Bundy, on The Body Shop (Jesse's interview segment) on Superstars, right after the debut of the Machines (Andre the Giant under a mask while he was "suspended"):

 

"Attention, Ladies and Gentlemen! I have brought over two new wrestlers from Japan! This is Kim Duc, and this is Pak Song. Now, let me ask you, is this the most RIDICULOUS thing you ever saw??"