the top ten quotes of all time

[Guest Trivia247]

ok to break up the HHHater's club which Im a party member, and the Why Mick Why JR esque club...

 

lets do one of those ancient top ten stuff.....

 

Top ten funniest quotes

from 1986 (That seem to be the time when heel and face announcing really started up in the WWE)

 

to today

 

I don't have a good set right now, but those old watchers of wrestling like me can come up with ten.

 

they don't have to be in any order, just as long as its ten

[2GOLD 0]

"Ah sh*t, can we do that again?" -Sid

 

No seriously, I give Lawler credit for one when Debra was still in the company

 

"I hate to see her leave, but I love to watch her go."

 

I know it has been used in movies, but it doesn't mean I don't find it funny.

[CanadianChris 0]

"Aw, fuck it!"

[Mecha Mummy 0]

"And that's why I kicked your leg out from under your... uh, leg..." ~ Owen Hart

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

"I am going to win tonight....because I'm BIIIIZARREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

 

British Bulldog on Royal Rumble 96

[Guest wrestlingbs]

"Hell in a Cell is so dangerous, King, because you can get your fingers caught in it." -Micheal Cole, WM15

[Lord of The Curry 0]

"Chyna just gave Al Snow head!" - JR

 

" Lita, jerkin' Edge off..............the ladder!" - JR

[Guest BDC]

"Why would we want to make the Undertaker mad? I mean, has anyone seen Kamala lately? Exactly! So could you give this (an urn) to him as a sign of good faith? He earned it!" - Edge & Christian

[haVoc 0]

"Steph is gone from TV forever!"

[The Amazing Rando 0]

"Why would we want to make the Undertaker mad? I mean, has anyone seen Kamala lately? Exactly! So could you give this (an urn) to him as a sign of good faith? He earned it!" - Edge & Christian

this is GOLD.

[CanadianChris 0]

"I don't know shit, Hitman!" -- Sid

[Guest netslob]

"What a sick freak...*HOOOONK!*"

[cawthon777 0]

I've seen it so many times, I just might be able to quote it.

 

"...with a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment of my life. When you walk around this world and say that you're #1, the only way you get to stay #1 is to BE #1. And this ... is the only belt in the wrestling world that makes you #1 - when you are the King of the WWF ... you rule the world!"

 

Flair, Rumble 92

 

 

paraphrased:

 

"I'm bi a lot of things, lingual isn't one of them. ...Wait, did I just say that?"

 

Triple H, KOTR 98

 

"Two ugly people staring at each other. That's fun."

 

Bobby Heenan on Bret/Piper, WrestleMania VIII

[Lord of The Curry 0]

"No! No wait, Debra come back! I love your cookies!"- Austin

[2GOLD 0]

From last nights RAW

 

"A man should never do this to a woman"- JR

"Well, at least Christian isn't using his fist"- Lawler

"........"- JR

 

Got to love Lawler pulling out the obvious Austin shot at JR and Ross having not a word on the planet to say about it.

[geniusMoment 0]

"You sit there and whine and cry about being screwed. Well, I ain't bringing a condom to ring I am bringing one hell of a can of whoop-ass."

[Guest Brian]

Somebody needs to pull out the old Edge & Christian on commentary. Or Angle.

[Downhome 0]

I don't remember it exactly, I wish I did, but the greatest "funny" quote of all time was by The Bossman to The Big Show.

 

"Big Show you're a dirty bastard and your mama says so!"

[Guest NCJ]

I had tears in my eyes after that Bossman promo. One of the funniest things I have ever heard.

 

Others recieving votes:

 

"I...I... don't know what your talking about Jericho your imagining things." Stephanie to Jericho during the promo where he and Rock rip Steph/Rhyno and Shane/Booker T a new one.

 

"The Rock knows you get wet......with anticipation" Rock to Lilian Garcia

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

"I'm bi a lot of things, lingual isn't one of them. ...Wait, did I just say that?"

 

Triple H, KOTR 98

Also when he's testing the mic after an encounter with the Rock... "Testies testies one two one two."

[geniusMoment 0]

"We're all supposed to suffer for our crimes. If we're not suffering, maybe it wasn't a crime in the first place. One thing I've found out is there is no room for guilt or innocence in the world of wrestling. I found out in pro wrestling it's a long cruel money trench, a plastic hallway filled with pimps and thieves, and a place where good men die like dogs."

-Bret Hart on the April 27 1998 edition of Nitro

The absolute best quote of all time. There is no other quote that even comes close. End of discussion.

Edited December 16, 2003 by geniusMoment

[Youth N Asia 0]

Jesse: "Win if you can, lose if you must, but ALWAYS cheat!"

 

Angle: "I became the first ever Euro-continental champion in WWF history. Well, besides D-Lo Brown, but he doesn't count."

 

Edge: "I really like The Dudleyz' new attire. It has that whole Bushwhackers 2000 feel."

[Detective Comics 0]

"What a sick freak...*HOOOONK!*"

I think it is time to revive the HHHonk thread.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

I don't remember it exactly, I wish I did, but the greatest "funny" quote of all time was by The Bossman to The Big Show.

 

"Big Show you're a dirty bastard and your mama says so!"

Speaking of Bossman...

 

"That referee right there wasn't even supposed to be in the REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENG!"

[haVoc 0]

Bobby Heenan commenting on Hogan's entrance music:

Heenan: That's my second favorite song.

Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. What's your favorite?

Heenan: All the rest are tied.

 

"He's going to audition for the Vienna Boys' Choir!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

 

Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: "I once asked him what came at the end of the sentence... and he said "parole"."

 

"He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!" -- Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink

 

"Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."-- Jesse Ventura

 

Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:

Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?"

Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..."

Brian: Nope...it means lard.

 

"The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children" -- Gorilla Monsoon

 

Bobby Heenan on the Ultimate Warrior: "This guy makes coffee nervous."

 

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me!" -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

 

Bobby H on Frankie (Koko's bird): "If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag."

 

"I guess you could call that poetry in motion." -- Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his poetry plate.

 

"What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't." -- Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros' finisher

 

"You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car." -- Bobby Heenan

 

Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson: "He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!"

 

"I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." -- Cactus Jack

 

"You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

 

"Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper." -- Roddy Piper

 

"Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him." -- Bobby Heenan

 

"The pleasure was all yours." -- Jesse Ventura

 

"I would rather hurt a man than love a woman." -- Cactus Jack

 

"Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper on Ric Flair

 

Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis:

Gorilla: He's quite lethargic.

Bobby: And slow.

 

Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan: "Does the tongue hanging out help his balance?"

 

"Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running." -- Roddy Piper

 

"If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world." -- Cactus Jack

 

"That's where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark

 

"To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!" -- Ric Flair

 

"Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!" -- Ric Flair

 

(After beating up Frankie Williams on Piper's Pit): "Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

 

Taken from StevesWrestling.com

[The Mandarin 0]

"Weeell, excuse ME, Mr. Umphus!"

 

-Dusty Rhodes at his best

[Guest anikolas]

"MAMA SAYS IT BEEZ THAT WAY, SOMETIMES!" - Sid

 

 

 

Also when he's testing the mic after an encounter with the Rock... "Testies testies one two one two."

 

and also, HHH's quote from KOTR '98 was:

 

 

 

"Testes, Testes, One Two....Three??!?"

 

Which is infinately more funnier than what you said.

[Guest Besus]

"When you go nose to nose with HHH you know you gona lose that battle"

 

"Damn you anyway Steve,Damn you straight to hell,You rotten bastard!"

 

"I used Shawn Michaels to get to the top just like Shawn used me to stay at the top"

 

"You never heard anyone mention your city? Oh yay He said Toronto"!

 

"In WCW Goldberg was a big fish in a little bitty pond"

 

"What makes you think you're even my leauge? What makes you think you deserve to be in the same ring as Hollywood"?

 

"Goldberg and This Mic is just alike,They dont work right"

 

"Every superhero can woop that ass,Every single one of them,Superman,Batman,Aqua man.Yeah the dude that talk to the fish,He'll woop that little candy ass"

 

"Eh Canada you know what? Hell,Know your role,Shut your mouth,Take all your boos and Stick it straight up your maple syrup sucking candy asses"

 

"Their is nothing that I would like to do more then to embarass you again"

 

"As far as im concerned,Their aint gona be a rematch"

 

"What the hell am I doing wearing this ridicolous outfit? What am I a damn road sign? Am I school crosse?"

 

"I tried to be a tough guy but I just couldn't grow my damn beard in"

 

"The Rock will rather be the people's ass then to ever kiss yours"

 

"What is up with all the sad faces? Where is the Rock celebration? Im the new damn champ"

 

"I have had more championships then you have had women"

 

"He's like Mankind He lost his mind,Pulling socks from his ass crack.Your'e dude love so get off the cactus jack"

[Jobber of the Week 0]

Bah, there's so many good Foley quotes you passed over.

 

"On my best evening, I could beat you on your worst morning to mid-afternoon! It takes a good man to beat Mankind, but not for very long!"

 

Also, Nash's comment about taking a sex change before going to WCW also qualifies here.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

"Mick Foley may not be a coward but I'm not." ~ Rob Van Dam, Last Night