Smackdown Spoilers for 12/18/03

[Kurt Angle Mark 0]

by Andrew Marchand

 

DARK MATCHES

 

1) Brent Dail & MIDEON vs. ??????(Announced as being from Jacksonville) - Boy, Dennis Knight has lost a lot of weight. Local babyfaces win

 

2) Cory Ballou vs. Johnny Jeter (Local) - Jeter wins

 

3) The Machines(twins) vs. Jim Steele & Mike Barton - Steele & Barton win again

 

Here come Josh and Bill DeMott so on to Velocity

 

VELOCITY

 

1) Tajiri vs. Paul London in a non-title match. Tajiri wins with the roundhouse kick.

 

2) Matt Morgan vs. Funaki - Huge squash win for Morgan

 

3) Johnny Stamboli vs. Spanky - Stamboli takes the win

 

4) Akio & Sakoda vs. Kidman and Ultimo Dragon - Kidman and Dragon win

 

 

Next up is Tazz & Michael Cole. Here is Smackdown. Rue sings the National Anthem

 

SMACKDOWN

 

We start with a video re-cap of last week's Lesnar/Mysterio match with Bob Holly's run-in.

 

Out first is John Cena. He raps about Santa and how he's going to make Mrs. Claus his ho-ho-ho. He then sits in on commentary for the first match.

 

1) Orlando Jordan vs. The Big Show - Squash match for Show. Afterwards he jaws with Cena at ringside.

 

Bob Holly walks into the building where a security guard stops him. He says Holly isn’t supposed to be there but Bob says he was called by Paul Heyman. Another security guard comes up and confirms the story. He says they are to provide extra security and escort him to a private dressing room.

 

(Commercial Break)

 

A-Train comes to the ring followed by Heyman, Matt Morgan and Brock Lesnar. Brock is furious over A-trains loss to Shannon Moore last week saying it cost them a lot of money. A-Train apologizes profusely. Heyman makes the announcement that Bob Holly will have a match tonight that will be all or nothing. If Holly wins he's back on Smackdown. Otherwise he will be fired and his career is over. It will be a tag match pitting him against Morgan and A-Train. And oh by the way Holly's partner will be...Shannon Moore.

 

(Commercial Break)

 

We get highlights of House Shows in Chicago and Indy

 

2) Fatal Four-Way Tag Match for the Tag-Team Titles. Worlds Greatest Tag Team vs. Los Guerreros vs. Rikishi and Scotty vs. The Basham Brothers. Everybody gets their spots in, they tease the stinkface a few times then Guerreros and WGTT step aside so The Bashams get the stink-face. Finish came when Chavo superplexes one Basham. As soon as he lands the other Basham flies off the top-rope hitting Chavo and getting the pin.

 

Winners - The Basham Brothers

 

Backstage Paul E. talks to Dawn Marie(looking quite hot in a VERY low-cut red dress) about his great new idea to attract big ratings. Brock will defend his title tonight against a random superstar. He has a big drum and Brock will reach in and pick out his opponent.

 

HOUR TWO

 

Lugz Highlight-Recaps the Cat/Sable confrontation.

 

Out comes the Cat who does his dance until interrupted by Sable. She demands to know who does he think he his to kiss Sable. Cat tries to kiss her again. They're interrupted by Mr. McMahon's music. Mr. McMahon asks who the hell are you. Cat says he’s a great entertainer. Mr. McMahon says "I'm the best promoter, the best businessman and the best lover." He says he'll show the Cat how to entertain. The music plays and Vinnie Mac dances! He gets down and dances like a fool along with Sable.. He tells the cat to top that. Cat does his groovy dance and Mr. McMahon kicks him in the balls from behind. He yells that no one kisses Sable but him.

 

Smack Of The Night-Recaps Jamie Noble throwing Nidia in the ring last week.

 

3) Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble - Same deal as last week. Noble throws Nidia into the referee and Mysterio but it backfires this time as Rey is able to roll him up for the 1-2-3.

 

Winner-Rey Mysterio

 

We see Bob Holly in his dressing room surrounded by Security. He's interviewed by Josh and promises to win tonight and later break Brocks neck and take his title.

 

4) Chris Benoit vs. Chuck Palumbo - FBI is sent to the back by the referee. Benoit wins clean with crossface. Afterwards he is beaten down by the FBI. What did Benoit do to deserve this feud?? Yuck

 

Commercial Break)

 

In the trainers room we see Nidia being attended to. Rey comes in and tries to explain what happened in Spanish. Nidia just screams for him to get away.

 

They announce that next week from Iraq we will see John Cena vs. The Big Show

 

Rhyno comes to the ring and calls out Bradshaw. Instead Farooq comes out which leads to:

 

5) Rhyno vs. Farooq - Short match which ends when Rhyno low-blows Farooq right in front of the ref who disqualifies him

 

Winner - Farooq by DQ

 

(Commercial Break)

 

Paul again talks to Dawn Marie about the great possibilities we could see tonight. Since it's totally random it could be any lucky superstar facing Brock. I bet you have no idea where this is going...

 

Paul comes down to the ring and talks about Brock's upcoming match. Who will it be? Brock comes down and spins the drum, reaches in and pulls out a ball with a name on it. He looks pissed. He grabs the mic and says this is unfair. How could he possibly prepare for this opponent? He doesn’t want to but he guesses he'll have to wrestle...Shannon Moore.

 

5) Brock vs. Shannon Moore - Brock destroys Shannon and wins by submission with the Brock Lock. afterwards he goes to ringside and talks about what great luck since Shannon has to wrestle the tag match later. He could have wrestled any superstar such as, reaches into the drum...Shannon Moore or...Shannon Moore or...Shannon Moore. Yep every ball had Shannon’s name. Oh how diabolical!

 

(Commercial Break)

 

6) Matt Morgan and A-Train vs. Hardcore Holly and Shannon Moore - Shannon is still lying in the ring when the match begins. He is destroyed by the big guys for a while. Finally, gets the hot tag and Holly cleans house. A-Train goes for the big boot on Holly who moves and A-Train nails Matt Morgan. Holly hits his big slam on Morgan for the win. He's back in the WWE and earns a title shot.

 

Afterwards, Brock stares disgustedly at A-Train as Holly celebrates.

 

I assume this is where they go off the air. As soon after, Brock nails Morgan with the belt and give A-Train the F5. Holly returns to the ring and clears house on Brock. Holly then hold the WWE belt high above his head.

 

Fun show and great crowd. They were into everything and very vocal. Biggest pops were for Eddie Guererro and John Cena. Biggest heat was for Brock by far. If for no other reason you must watch the show to see Mr. McMahon dance. It has to be seen to be believed.

[ISportsFan 0]

Benoit in his second feud with the FBI in under a year. Last time it was the opening match of Judgment Day.

 

Cena is gonna get the troops happy with a US title win next week.

 

Blind Nidia gets stupider every week.

 

It looks like Brock/Holly is on for the Rumble.

 

Possibility for Benoit at the Rumble? FBI puts a bounty on him with gambling proceeds?

 

Whatever. Looks sucky.

 

Jason

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Craptacular.

[Guest rawmvp]

It should be Brock vs. Eddy at the Rumble not Brock vs. Bob Holly. This is horshit.

[Guest wildpegasus]

THey couldn't have made a worse show. Kudos to you WWE.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

It should be Brock vs. Eddy at the Rumble not Brock vs. Bob Holly. This is horshit.

I figure they are going to go with Brock vs Eddy Benoit or Cena at No Way Out, it will give people a reason to want to buy the otherwise throw away PPV...

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

FUICKUIFKCUJIOKFUICKUFKCUKFUIJKC UIFUC IUKUFIKCUKURCUKCUKCFUCKUFKCJKUFUCKFUCK!

 

FUCK!

[Guest hhheld_down]

looks at the spoilers

 

Beniot is fueding with FBI....

Bob Holly is getting a ME push for the WWE title

Rhyno is jobbing to Farooq

Team Hoss is still all over the fuckin place

The cat continues to waste time

 

 

 

::cries softly::

 

Congrats to WWE for fucking up both shows in a week, now its a pick your poision thing. I always knew they could.

[JN News 0]

I wonder who Hardcore Holly has been blowing in order to get a title shot.

[Guest wildpegasus]

FUICKUIFKCUJIOKFUICKUFKCUKFUIJKC UIFUC IUKUFIKCUKURCUKCUKCFUCKUFKCJKUFUCKFUCK!

 

FUCK!

What RRR said and I don't even curse. The stupid bleepin f'n bleepin f'n bleepers.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

 

You've got a purdy smashmouth style

[Michrome 0]

Hooray for Tajiri vs. london on velocity.

[Guest Deviant]

There is ONE postive thing on that whole report. London vs Tajiri, on Velocity.

 

That is one truly pathetic SD.

[Guest Deviant]

Damn, Michrome beat me to it.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Craptacular.

My words exactly.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

VELOCITY

 

4) Akio & Sakoda vs. Kidman and Ultimo Dragon - Kidman and Dragon win

 

Holy shit!

 

 

And the Bashams are still the WWE Tag Team Champions? Wow, I'm shocked. In a good way.

[Guest wrestlingbs]

Each sentence of those was like a car crashing into a pileup. It just got worse and worse.

 

And it not just the smarks who have it bad. Everything looks bad. Benoit goes from contender to low card face in the span of two weeks. Cena's stuck on the sidelines waiting to take the US title from Show (who has done nothing with it). Vince does the only thing he thinks will boost ratings: show himself. The Bashams get the tag titles and then do nothing with them. We got a blind Nidia running around while Knoble turned heel for, what exactly?

 

But the worst is Shannon Moore. Shannon Moore is a C-level superstar in the eyes of most people. I ask you: why this ridiculous push? It's not making him look good. It's not entertaining. It's not leading to anything. Moore doesn't come out to tremendous pops because of it. This is the same kind of questions people asked about WCW in 2000. What's the freakin' point of this?

[Guest JRE]

Ha...I dig the Noble/Nidia storyline. You see, get this for genius.....Rey wanted to explain to Nidia what Noble's doing...but he can't! Because Rey doesn't speak English! Of course!

 

....

[Lil' Bitch 0]

So Cena / TBS @ RR?

[Guest wrestlingbs]

Ha...I dig the Noble/Nidia storyline. You see, get this for genius.....Rey wanted to explain to Nidia what Noble's doing...but he can't! Because Rey doesn't speak English! Of course!

 

....

That's what I love about wrestling (not really). In order for anything to make sense in the WWE, all wrestlers, announcers, and imaginary cops have to be either really insensitive or really stupid. Kane gets unmasked by HHH but sees no problem in helping Trips out in a match where he's the opponent. Jericho and Christian tell their entire scheme to nail Lita and Trish in front of the camera. People see no reason to arrest Shane Mcmahon for attempted murder. And, of course, no one cares to mention to Nidia that her boyfriend likes to use her as a human shield. Plotholes so big it makes a children's book look like Shakespeare.

[Guest JRE]

And, of course, no one cares to mention to Nidia that her boyfriend likes to use her as a human shield.

 

Except for Mysterio of course, but he doesn't speak English!!!! Eh....hell, didn't Nidia speak Spanish once on Smackdown?

[Guest wildpegasus]

And, of course, no one cares to mention to Nidia that her boyfriend likes to use her as a human shield.

 

Except for Mysterio of course, but he doesn't speak English!!!! Eh....hell, didn't Nidia speak Spanish once on Smackdown?

Nidia should just watch the previous weeks Smackdown. I love how some parts of the show can be replayed but others are like they never happened.

[Art Sandusky 0]

"Smackdown is so much better than Raw!"

 

Go ahead, I'm daring someone to say that again.

 

Thursday nights are making less and less sense.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Smackdown is so much better than Raw

[Guest JMA]

I really wish Bradshaw wasn't in the WWE. He brings NOTHING to the table.

[Guest Fook]

Nidia should just watch the previous weeks Smackdown.

Kinda hard for her, isn't it?

 

 

 

And the "Rey wants to tell her but she can't understand Spanish" thing is beyond retarded considering REY SPOKE ENGLISH IN HIS PROMO LAST WEEK!

[Jobber of the Week 0]

I really wish Bradshaw wasn't in the WWE. He brings NOTHING to the table.

Who else is going to supply us with our jingoism?

 

 

Eat the CONSERVATIVE CLOTHESLINE~! You Communist!!

[Jobber of the Week 0]

But the worst is Shannon Moore. Shannon Moore is a C-level superstar in the eyes of most people. I ask you: why this ridiculous push? It's not making him look good. It's not entertaining. It's not leading to anything. Moore doesn't come out to tremendous pops because of it. This is the same kind of questions people asked about WCW in 2000. What's the freakin' point of this?

(Smarks) For the love of god, man! Please! PUSH CRUISERS!

 

(Vince) Well, it's time for the yearly Bob Holly push. This never goes anywhere, so I guess I might as well see if I can work a cruiser in there.

 

(Smarks) STOP PUTTING THE CRUISER IN IMPORTANT MATCHES! He's just distracting from the goal of trying to put over Bob Holly! What the hell are you doing, you senile old man? Cruisers are just for sideshow anyway!

 

(Vince)

[Silence 0]

"Smackdown is so much better than Raw!"

 

Go ahead, I'm daring someone to say that again.

 

Thursday nights are making less and less sense.

At this point, Smackdown, Raw, and TNA are on the same level because all three of them are SUCKING right now. It's either Bob Holly feuding with Lesnar, Benoit feuding with the FBI (Smackdown), HHH and Evolution holding all the gold, Jericho's role as a face or heel getting screwed around with (Raw), or Jarrett as the NWA World Heavyweight Champion along with Raven in some shitty Red Shirt Security feud (TNA).

[2GOLD 0]

Nidia should just watch the previous weeks Smackdown.

Kinda hard for her, isn't it?

 

 

 

And the "Rey wants to tell her but she can't understand Spanish" thing is beyond retarded considering REY SPOKE ENGLISH IN HIS PROMO LAST WEEK!

 

But you see....umm....Rey can't....umm....well he....ummm

He only knows some words in English and none of them are about boyfriends!

 

See, It makes perfect sense!