SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 Don't let the WWE tell you what's true and what isn't! Make up your own WWE Headlines, and post them here! -Do YOU know the real reason Goldberg lost the belt? -Did you see Kevin Nash at Popeye's Chicken? -Is "kayfabe" an internet hoax, and everything you see on Raw is actually real? -Does your favorite wrestler have a new theme song with funny lyrics? Post it here! Be bold! Be controversial! But, most importantly, BE FUNNY! Examples: Raw Originality Questioned The Raw creative team denies that the current Trish/Jericho storyline is a rip-off of the movie She's All That. "At no time did you see Trish wear glasses," stated Brian Gewirtz. _______________ Producers Reveal What Wasn't On 2003 Special The WWE RAW production team recently revealed the things that did not get included on the recent "Best of RAW 2003" special. They included: -Patterson breakig the news to Kevin Nash that he'd be putting Jericho over. -The other 2700 times J.R. yelled "Stone Cold!" during Austin's No Way Out match. -Batisita's 3rd, 7th, and 11th injuries of the year. -Rob Conway comparing his BUTT to a picture of J-Lo's. -Shawn Michaels attempting to faith-heal Nash's quad. -Anything with anyone named Hardy. -Shane McMahon claiming he invented RVD's thumbs-taunt. -Brian Gerwitz getting story idea's from his 13 year old niece. -The time Stacy Keibler blew Claude Rains backstage. -Anything involving Goldberg having the championship (talk about your no-selling). ______________________ Update On Kane/Booker T Feud Monday Night Raw's two "Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride" upper-midcarders Kane and Booker T have begun a feud as of last night. Many believe the decision was made to have to two feud because neither wanted to put over Randy Orton at the upcoming Royal Rumble. According to sources, Kane will be continuing his gimmick of lighting things on fire by burning a cross on Booker T's yard sometime in the coming weeks. ______________________ Tajiri Update Rather than calling his stable the Japanese Mafia (which they closely resemble), Tajiri has instead chosen to name his stable Team Iron Chef (which they also closely resemble). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 But, most importantly, BE FUNNY! If that's the most important thing...then why didn't you do it? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
notJames 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 Oh TAG~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 If you don't think I'm funny, then post something funny yourself. That's what I'm asking for, here. Oh TAG~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Disbadger Report post Posted December 31, 2003 What does "Oh TAG~!" mean exactly? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Danny Dubya v 2.0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 If you don't think I'm funny, then post something funny yourself. That's what I'm asking for, here. Oh TAG~! That wasn't a comeback, and "Oh TAG~!" is overused. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 (edited) Comebacks are overrated. I'm assuming "Oh TAG~!" is another pre-packaged, unoriginal way for someone who has nothing interesting of their own to contribute to comment on the previous negative comment made by someone who also had nothing interesting to contribute. Considering the total weakness of both of those two posts, I'm going to have to carry this thread myself. WAYS THE WWE PLANS TO GET LANCE STORM OVER IN 2004 -New catchphrase: IT'S STORMING EXCITMENT! -"Conquistador Number 52 has just entered the ring..." -Keep him a face and have him feud with Triple H...that's worked before. -Change his gimmick to the older brother from Wierd Science, since he looks like him anyways. -"Allow me to read this prepared statement written by Andrew Dice Clay..." -In its DVD release, restore his scene to the episode of Tough Enough 3 he was cut from. -"What's Dawn Marie doing with Lance Storm?" Seriously. -STORM-A-ROONIE!!!!!!! -Win some damn singles matches, perhaps? -"Call me Lance Pants...as in I'M NOT WEARING ANY!" ___________________ Scene Cut from Smackdown! Taping "Those are the largest breasts I've ever seen! Can I please touch them?" Edited December 31, 2003 by Y2Jerk Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted December 31, 2003 New WWE overused angle It has been reported on some websites that the Oh TAG~! finish will be replacing the bait and switch finish, which replaced the screwjob finish, which replaced the Dusty finish as the most overused finish. On the conception of Dustin, does this mean a second bloated wrestler came in and impregnated Mrs. Virgil Runnels while Dusty was out cold? And then Dusty woke up and was given credit for the insemination? David Crockett: "TOMMY! HE'S NOT USING A RUBBER! TOMMY! NO RUBBER!" And in some more breaking news, Triple H attempts to emulate Ric Flair know no boundaries as he is now trying to grow his own set of moobs. Stephanie McMahon, along with Bradshaw, are reportedly in charge of his new diet plan. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 Triple H Update It has been reported backstage that Triple H plans to no-sell and kick-out of any and all "Oh TAG~!" finishers. HBK vows to no-sell HHH's no-selling, and award himself the World Heavyweight Title at an upcoming house show. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Quik Report post Posted December 31, 2003 The real Reason Triple H Was Taken off Weekend House Shows Triple H was pulled from this weekends shows due to a dispute with management. Hunter refused to cut his hair as part of an image makeover, and has been punished for it. ---------------------- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 I feel like I'm watching a Carrottop act. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Trivia247 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 Gimmick Battle Royal 2 too be held at WM 20 The WWE deluding themselves to believe the money matches aren't with cruiserweights or even anyone with a inkling of talent, the Board of directors decided to bring back the Gimmick Battle Royal!! Guest Announcers for this will be... Bob Uerker (sp) and the Genius! the 20 man over the top battle royal will consist of... Boris Zhukof, Nailz, Max Moon (Non K-dogg one) Aldo Montoya (played by a Jobber which could still be Justin Credible) Ronnie Garvin, The Executioner (Buddy Rose) Zeus, Honky Tonk Man, Friar Fergusian (or Bastion Booger) David Sammartino, Warlord, Tama, Well Dunn, Techno 2000, beverly Brothers, Hercules, and one of the Bushwhackers (Vince doesn't want both of them and doesn't care which one he gets) WWE creative team headed by Stephanie...when shes not under the table when HHH is in the meeting proclaims this will single handedly bring Wrestling back in the forefront of Mainstream Entertainment! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted December 31, 2003 I feel like I'm watching a Carrottop act. This coming from a guy who enjoys his scantily clad women as cartoons. I feel like I just got insulted by Carottop. OlympicHero has reportedly decided to no-sell this thread in hopes it will be de-pushed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 I feel like I'm watching a Carrottop act. This coming from a guy who enjoys his scantily clad women as cartoons. I feel like I just got insulted by Carottop. OlympicHero has reportedly decided to no-sell this thread in hopes it will be de-pushed. It's from "Family Guy" . It's not my fault that these "jokes" are bombing. Just, you know......make this thread actually funny and you wouldn't be subject to a sarcastic remark. Soon, someone's going to be pulling out a large telephone prop and saying "Triple H called Vince McMahon with this and said 'Don't push Jericho-uh.' HAW!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Kid 0 Report post Posted December 31, 2003 Wow, I was reading the first post and it seems like an assignment I'd get in English. Fakes news flows naturally, you can't force it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted December 31, 2003 Randy Orton Gets Over A total of six fans booed Orton recently at a WWE Untelevised event. The WWE takes this as proof that they need to push Randy to the next level. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 Soon, someone's going to be pulling out a large telephone prop and saying "Triple H called Vince McMahon with this and said 'Don't push Jericho-uh.' HAW!" Hey, I was going to use that telephone gag! Thanks a lot! In other news... McMahon Family Sitcom Wraps Production on First Episode The much anticipated pilot for next spring's mid-season series based on the McMahon family has wrapped production. The show will star all five members of the family. Not unlike WWE programming, the show will not be a reality show, although there will be shoot moments. Here is an exerpt from the pilot, titled "Take My Wife...Please!": Vince walks into a room where Shane is playing a carefully placed WWE video game, while Stephanie and "Hunter" are sitting on the couch. VINCE: I sure missed your mother today! STEPH: Was she not at the office? VINCE: Yeah...she was at the office. HUNTER: You were at the office, too, right? VINCE: Yeah. SHANE: Then how did you miss her? VINCE: She moved out of the way before I could pull the trigger. Thirteen episodes have been ordered for UPN, which plans to begin airing them whenever "Rock Me Baby" is finally cancelled. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tommytomlin 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 These are all horrible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
snuffbox 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 welcome to the lameness Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 welcome to the lameness Do you mean the thread in general or just your own post? Because, so far, I haven't seen you post anything funny in this thread, either. How about instead of complaining you try to PROVE you can be funnier than me? ________________ Matt Hardy/Molly Holly Update Raw writers are considering making an alliance between Matt Hardy and Molly Holly, although it is not clear if the partnership will be based on both character's mutual dislike of Lita, or if someone just thinks it'd be funny to call them "Version One and Virgin One". Some, however, are against the idea because it might result in Matt being seen on television. ________________ Jeff Hardy Sex Tape Inside sources are saying that a former boyfriend of Jeff Hardy's has leaked a sex tape onto the internet. The sex tape shows Jeff taking it from behind and then giving fellatio. While some doubt the tape's authenticity, others point out Jeff's raccoon-like appearance. Also, Jeff looks completely green in the video (not unlike how he always looked green in a wrestling ring). More on this story as it develops. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 1, 2004 SMARKS POSTER CALL OUT NEW THREAD Smarks poster tommytomlin, known for never pulling any punches, gave his offical "thumbs down" to the recently created FUNNY WWE HEADLINES thread. He was quoted as saying, "These are all horrible," and in order to show how a perfectly crafted "funny WWE headline" should read, he offered this: MARC MERO SET TO RETURN Out of work wrestler and former Mr. Sable, Marc Mero is currently in talks with the WWE on a possible return with a brand new gimmick. Details of the gimmick are sketchy but are said to involve Mero "de-tanning" his skin to the point of paleness and dropping a lot of weight. He will also at some point be involved with the returning Zack Gowen, in an angle where Mero tries to get him to sleep in the same bed with him and sees nothing wrong with it. Names for Mero's character range from Cycle Jaxton to Boy Fucker. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 ^Good one.^ Tommytomlin sure knows how to write a good headline, doesn't he? Zach Gowan Update As previuosly reported, WWE Superstar Zach Gowan is set to return to the ring in the coming weeks. There has been speculation that Gowan's "guy with one working leg" gimmick will not get over with fans, since Raw's Triple H and Kevin Nash have also been using the same gimmick for some time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Scud Report post Posted January 1, 2004 OMG! This thread is so awful it's classic. I knew when I clicked it that it was going to be bad but you all exceeded my expectations and have easily created the single worst attempt at jokes I have ever seen. Congratulations. I just thought I should post here to be a part of this historic moment in the history of absolute shit. Thank you Y2Jerk, you can make anyone feel better about themselves just by trying to be funny. Please don't respond that I need to "PROVE" how funny I am because I don't really care if I am funny or not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Kid 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 That wasn't needed...take it to Hardcore Disscussion. Zack Malibu LEAVING? Sources within TSM are reporting that Zack Malibu is leaving the board for good. When asked about this information Malibu said, "No, its a holiday." We at the Torch do not know where this sudden emotional change in Malibu came from. TSM poster, CWM said of the issue "Gnomes". The feeling is that Malibu is upset with everyone making fun of his hair, this isn't the first time this sort of incident has occured. Sure sign of Zack Malibu leaving TheSmartMarks board for good. The Torch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 Dream Match We'll Never See VS. I'm telling you, that feud is money. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Just John 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 Breaking News: This thread is not getting over The cult classic used on another wrestling site has met a cold and bitter reception at TSM. It has been renamed, but still uses the principle of creating humorous stories about WWE superstars. Many smarks are not amused by this trend, calling it "horrible," "lameness," and "so awful it's classic." Still, loyalist Y2Jerk continues to print his rumors in hopes of capturing lightning in a bottle. Posters like The Kid and Repo Man Reborn have bought in to this new trend. Although, RMR's style of rumor creation may link him to the aforementioned cult on another site. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 1, 2004 (edited) Y2Jerk No-Sells Critics Yeah, excuse me for wanting to see what kinds of funny stuff the people who visit this forum could come up with. I didn't realize that most people here couldn't come up with jack, and I'd have to carry this thing by myself. And I don't care what anyone says. That Jeff Hardy Sex Tape gag was comic gold. Edited January 1, 2004 by Y2Jerk Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mole 0 Report post Posted January 2, 2004 Y2Jerk sleeps with stuff animals Wow I can't believe I just thought of that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LooseCannon25 0 Report post Posted January 2, 2004 and now a word from our sponsor...... This thread has been brought to you by FRITO-LAY CORN CHIPS and also CORN NUTS Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest BionicRedneck Report post Posted January 2, 2004 So, is this the worst thread ever? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
