WWE Wrestling Euphemisms

[HarleyQuinn 0]

what a jezebel/witch, etc.

 

All the females do this but she's a heel and damnit, we need to get her over somehow

[Damaramu 0]

Folks we don't like to see anyone get hurt. This is just a freak accident. We were having a match and this just went horribley horribley wrong.

 

They realized how deep and serious and emotional we sounded when Owen Hart died so they're going to milk our reaction for everything they can because they have no souls.

[CanadianChick 0]

WHAT A MOVE!

 

Sorry, I have no idea what that's called. Sure, I've been commentating his matches for over a year and a half, but I still don't know.

 

Isn't that more Schiavone's thing?

I was thinking Cole during a Rey Mysterio match. But Tony works too.

[Guest Anglesault]

That reminds me of the worst post-Tazz Michael Col call ever.

 

Rey's debut match, he hits some move.

 

"He calls that the Dorito"

 

I was actually afraid they would use that.

[CanadianChick 0]

Could you imagine a move called the Dorito being taken seriously?

 

"He hit the Dorito! It's all over now Taz!"

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Val Venis will bring in his Mexican counterpart... and then the counterparts finisher will be "The Frito Lay"

[Tawren 0]

That reminds me of the worst post-Tazz Michael Col call ever.

 

Rey's debut match, he hits some move.

 

"He calls that the Dorito"

 

I was actually afraid they would use that.

I think he said El Torito.

[Art Sandusky 0]

"HAW HAW HAW!"

 

Translation: "This is supposed to be a comical angle, but fuck is it horrible. Here, I'll laugh REALLY LOUDLY and you folks in the audience can join in."

 

(silence from audience)

[deancoles 0]

"this isn't gonna be no wrestling match,this is gonna be a fight"

 

They know there are going to be about 3 wrestling moves and are trying to make excuses for it.

[Kardo 0]

Yeah,

 

"He calls it the El Torito"

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Phrase: "Hogan may catch lightning in a bottle and win the Undisputed Title tonight from Triple H!"

 

Translation: He better pop this crowd, because the undercard consisted of Al Snow & Maven Vs. Billy & Chuck, as well as Bradshaw Vs. Scott Hall.

 

"Rhyno comes from the hardcore environment of ECW!"

 

Translation: His untalented fat ass got "hype" because he got to piledrive Spike Dudley through tables each week. See: Awesome, Mike.

 

 

"Triple H, the best athlete in this business..."

 

Translation: "This Business" consists of three wrestlers: Triple H, New Jack, and Mike Enos.

 

"InVasion, fans..the pay-per-view you thought you'd never see! WCW invades the WWF!"

 

Translation: Shawn Stasiak, Lance Storm, and Hugh Morrus lead an all-star lineup, consisting of WWF "turncoats" to battle the WWF. Yay.

 

"Yo it's the Mack Militant...Comin' to Get it on"...

 

Translation: CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL...NOW!!!

[Silence 0]

"This match is unmercifully over!"-referring to an RVD/Kane Cage match on Raw

 

"I'm sure as hell glad this awful match has ended because it would have rivaled HHH vs. The Undertaker from King of the Ring 2002 if it went on any longer."

[Guest OnlyMe]

This is a night that [name] will never forget! This night will live in the mind of [name] for the rest of his life! [date] is a date that [name] will remember forever!

 

 

Please care.

[AnonymousBroccoli 0]

WHAT A MOVE!

I'd say they're more guilty of "What a shot!"

 

 

"unique", "modified", "a variation of a"

"We're too nice to say 'fucked up' on the air, but I'm sure we'll spank this guy 'accidentally' at a later date."

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Well, that's Stone Cold for ya.

 

Do I really need to explain this one?

 

Boy I tell'ya this Lance Cade is gonna be the future uhba WWE

 

He's young, he's green . . . but he can throw a mean dropkick, I tell'ya what.

[Guest Super Pissed Smark]

Ohmigod, Austin will never be able to be on RAW again! His career is over. I can't believe it, but this is the last time we'll ever see Stone Cold again.

 

Tune in tomorrow night to see what Austin does on RAW.

 

Damn that Eric Bischoff, damn him to Hell!

 

Damn that Eric Bischoff, damn him to Hell!

 

Nash and Triple-H are literally trying to destroy each others careers, King!

 

If I didn't know any better, I'd think they were literally trying to destroy each others careers, King. This segment is just brutal, when will it end? This is pathetic. Somebody pull the plug already. Wow, the crowd is just hating this shit. Are we really going to have these guys main event the PPV?

[Just John 0]

"He's so big, that even the simplest moves hurt that much more."

Translation: This guy doesn't know any moves.

 

"This will not be a catch-as-catch-can classic."

Translation: I won't lie to you. This match will probably reach negative stars.

 

"Oh my god! (Wrestler)'s (body part) must've been completely shattered!"

Translation: He'll need to put some tape on that one.

 

"Well, I guess the ref couldn't see (random act of cheating) from his point of view."

Translation: That ref fucked up pretty bad. Not even the most dense marks will beileve this.

[TheFranchise 0]

Eric Bischoff has done THE worst thing

 

He managed to get Austin off our screens, temporarily.

 

He's robbed Austin of his dream

 

Austin's got to go away for a while and come back, as he's grown stale.

 

Well, my atterney says i have a pretty good case... but that's not my style. I'll be starting work next Monday down in WCW for your son Shane.

 

Tune in next week to Raw to see me.

[DerangedHermit 0]

"Oh my god! (Wrestler)'s (body part) must've been completely shattered!"

Translation: He'll need to put some tape on that one.

 

"Well, I guess the ref couldn't see (random act of cheating) from his point of view."

Translation: That ref fucked up pretty bad. Not even the most dense marks will beileve this.

These are the funniest. Good job.

[King Cucaracha 0]

I don't think he got all of that move there...

 

We have to cover up this fuck-up to preserve kayfabe.

 

Nash only knows 3 moves, but he executes them perfectly

 

I'm Mark Madden, Kevin Nash's friend. He's old and has a a gnereic big man moveset. But he's my buddy, and I'm here to put him over.

 

And Tazz, listen to this...the themse song for [insert PPV name]...[insert song and band] off of the album [insert album]. And Tazz, this song is really kickin'!

 

I have no absolutely interest in this type of music, but we have to put the song over as part of the contractual agreement.

 

I have no idea why [wrestler's name] just did that. Why would he do that? He's sure as hell got some explaining to do.

 

We don't know what's going to happen next week because the writers are still trying to work it out.

 

The technical skill of Jack Brisco. The mean streak of Harley Race. HHH has got it all

 

HHH isn't imitating Ric Flair. Honest

 

Lance Storm is so fundamentaly sound. a very, very good competitor...a good human being.

 

Lance Storm right now has no distinguishing features what-so-ever.

[NYU 0]

Statement: That cage isn't made out of chocolate, you know.

Translation: *JR's stomach is growling*

 

Statement: You're not black! You're beige!

Translation: And they said I wasn't good at comebacks anymore. *Lawler pats self on back*

[Guest Monday Night Jericho]

God bless America!

 

"I'm one racist son-of-a-bitch."

[Tawren 0]

Statement: That cage isn't made out of chocolate, you know.

Translation: *JR's stomach is growling*

 

Statement: You're not black! You're beige!

Translation: And they said I wasn't good at comebacks anymore. *Lawler pats self on back*

[Just John 0]

"This kid's got a lotta raw talent, and when he can channel it, he'll be a force."

Translation: This guy's green. Real green. Possibly approaching "Maven" level green.

 

"The cage just rips up your flesh."

Translation: The cage really does tear flesh, even though the competitors won't blade for another 10 minutes.

 

"(Wrestler) got his hands up to try to protect himself."

Translation: God damn it, (wrestler), could you possibly expose the business anymore?

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

"This kid's got a lotta raw talent, and when he can channel it, he'll be a force."

Translation: This guy's green. Real green. Possibly approaching "Maven" level green.

 

"The cage just rips up your flesh."

Translation: The cage really does tear flesh, even though the competitors won't blade for another 10 minutes.

 

"(Wrestler) got his hands up to try to protect himself."

Translation: God damn it, (wrestler), could you possibly expose the business anymore?

I honestly can't think of someone who DOESN'T completely block a chair shot anymore. I'm sure there is someone, but it's a few and far between thing.

 

HHH and Hogan are the WORST, that the camera angle has to be changed to make it look believable.

[AndrewTS 0]

HHH and Hogan are the WORST, that the camera angle has to be changed to make it look believable.

 

Well, even so it isn't as stupid as when HHH takes a shot with a real sledgehammer. You can see him palm the sledge and tap his opponent in the head with his hand on the "impact."

[Just John 0]

I honestly can't think of someone who DOESN'T completely block a chair shot anymore. I'm sure there is someone, but it's a few and far between thing.

 

TSM favorite, Zack Gowan took a chair right to the head from Lesnar. Still, I was referring to when it's blatantly caught on camera and the announcers have to cover.