The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Royal Rumble 2004

[The Dames 0]

...Leave me some feedback, will ya.

 

Dames

[LucharesuFan619 0]

You mean, I stay up late to do a bunch of homework, only to have you work harder than me by getting up your classic rant only a few hours after the show?

 

Sweet.

 

Gotta love Dames. He's our Sugar Daddy...

 

DVDR also has a thread about how hot Victoria looked. I guess I'll have to get me some screencaps ASAP...

[Nevermortal 0]

Dames, I'll agree with you.

 

I know people have been bitching that Benoit won't be fighting Brock and will most likely be cannon fodder, but I don't care one goddamn bit. Benoit winning the Rumble was an awesome moment and even if he does have to play carrier/job boy to Trips, I'll have the Rumble victory as THE moment for the wrestler I've been marking the hardest for since he came into the WWF (since I didn't really watch WCW).

[The Dames 0]

You mean, I stay up late to do a bunch of homework, only to have you work harder than me by getting up your classic rant only a few hours after the show?

 

Sweet.

 

Gotta love Dames. He's our Sugar Daddy...

 

DVDR also has a thread about how hot Victoria looked. I guess I'll have to get me some screencaps ASAP...

That's not all I did today, Mr. Barber.

 

I spent two hours reviewing the Flair/Steamboat Clash match today.

 

The 2nd part of the Flair review SHOULD be done by the end of the wek.

 

I got Raw tomorrow night as well and I'll be working on the Flair DVD when I have the time.

 

Dames

[LucharesuFan619 0]

Sweet. Can't wait to read the Flair review.

 

Found this as I was reading the diatribe...

 

they wanted to keep the title on Michaels

 

I think you mean HHH, LOL.

[The Dames 0]

Thanks, I'll fix that now.

 

Dames

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Awesome review, Dames. Keep up the good work as usual.

[JoeDirt 0]

Yep, pretty much agreed with all your assessments of the show. And that obviousy means that we're both right and everyone who thinks differently is wrong.

 

Nice work Dames! Wish I was with people marking out for Benoit when I watched the damn thing.

[Garth 0]

Tazz and Jim Ross are the announcers for the Rumble match, oddly enough and I believe this is the first time that they’ve worked together on a PPV.

 

They have worked together in the past on PPV, one of the Rebellion PPV's in the UK a couple of years ago.

 

Great review, the moment of Benoit winning was kind of ruined for me though by a very negative friend who i had staying round for the event, who proclaimed Benoit winning "the shittest thing i've ever seen" so that kind of put a damper on my excitment.

[bob_barron 0]

I watched the Rumble in a theatre with a crowd full of pro-Benoit fans so when he won we all went crazy and marked out like little bitches.

 

Dames- you captured the emotion of that perfectly.

 

BTW JR and Tazz called Rcok v. Angle from NWO01 due to King losing to Steven Richards

[CanadianChris 0]

Must...order...replay.

 

I was going to watch it live, but I got a better offer.

[k thx 0]

One thing: any chance you could leave the spoilers out of the bit on the first page?

 

Reading "I haven't marked out this hard in a LONG, LONG TIME. If this is what it's like to be wrong, then baby, I DON'T WANNA BE RIGHT!" would spoil the result for anybody who's reading your Diatribe for the results.

 

But yeah, it's a good read. keep up the good work.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

the moment of Benoit winning was kind of ruined for me though by a very negative friend who i had staying round for the event, who proclaimed Benoit winning "the shittest thing i've ever seen" so that kind of put a damper on my excitment.

you should have proceeded to punch him dead on in the mouth.

 

Dames you made me want to hook up the old illegal cable box and watch the replay...too bad I don't feel like looking for it.

 

If I lived near you I'd somehow rig it so when you went to watch Flair/Steaboat the VCR turned on with my old copy of RR 99 hehe

[Guest wildpegasus]

Bittersweet victory for me but I really marked out for Benoit winning and his victory celebration. I too watched the PPV with a bunch of people (about 100) and there were a lot of Benoit marks.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Bob beat me on correcting you on the Tazz/JR thing.

 

Good job Dames. Myself and my pal Drew, we were marking out big time for the Rumble match.. I agree with the sentiment it's probably tbe best since 1992. Even the undercard I found ok... don't get me wrong, the length of the matches were a real let down and a Draw in a match that is happening becuase their last match was ALSO a Draw is bullshit, butI didn't really find the content in the short matches to be bad (except the tag title match), so overall I was ok with the matches (I'm an optimist, though) and thought the Rumble itself rocked.

 

Off topic: I don't know if it was you or someone else who put the forum link up, but it's "Shades of Gray".. it's a play on words, not a use of the colour Grey.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Dames + Scott Keith = Crack is bad

 

If ANYONE else would have won this match, the internet community would have said it was like ***. But because Benoit won, its the greatest thing sicne sliced bread. And Dames says he likes this Rumble because of the clean finish? Did he miss how Goldberg, Orton, Kane, and Foley were eliminated? I'll give the finish its props, it was original and intriguing. But the match? Bah. 92 is better. Much better. Flair's performance was much great than Benoit's. Benoit didn't impress until right at the end.

 

Oh, and Orton input to the match was also substandard. And considering he was in for the majority of the sucker, I can't deem it that great. Moreover, the fact that the camera zoomed in on Foley and Orton brawl instead of the match itself took away from the greatness of the MATCH.

 

And the 6 guys trying to pikc up Big Show killed any momentum the match has up to that point. Coming from Angle (who has Angleslammed Big Show), Cena (who has F-5'd Big Show), and Benoit (who has suplexed Big Show) - how could they are 3 other guys fail to lift him up? It was retarded and the crowd wasn't buying it.

 

There were far far far too many laws in this match to consider it better than the 92 Rumble...or to even consider it great. The end was an amazing end to an average Rumble on a horrific PPV.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Dames + Scott Keith = Crack is bad

 

If ANYONE else would have won this match, the internet community would have said it was like ***. But because Benoit won, its the greatest thing sicne sliced bread. And Dames says he likes this Rumble because of the clean finish? Did he miss how Goldberg, Orton, Kane, and Foley were eliminated? I'll give the finish its props, it was original and intriguing. But the match? Bah. 92 is better. Much better. Flair's performance was much great than Benoit's. Benoit didn't impress until right at the end.

 

Oh, and Orton input to the match was also substandard. And considering he was in for the majority of the sucker, I can't deem it that great. Moreover, the fact that the camera zoomed in on Foley and Orton brawl instead of the match itself took away from the greatness of the MATCH.

 

And the 6 guys trying to pikc up Big Show killed any momentum the match has up to that point. Coming from Angle (who has Angleslammed Big Show), Cena (who has F-5'd Big Show), and Benoit (who has suplexed Big Show) - how could they are 3 other guys fail to lift him up? It was retarded and the crowd wasn't buying it.

 

There were far far far too many laws in this match to consider it better than the 92 Rumble...or to even consider it great. The end was an amazing end to an average Rumble on a horrific PPV.

I'd hate to say I agree with all your points but I do.

 

If Benoit would have lost, I would have been going "Boo this sucks!". 1992 was better, but the majority of people say best SINCE 1992, which isn't really hard to say because 1993-1999 were all bleh.

 

But the one thing I don't agree with it is the Big Show/5 guys thing. Sure, it's stupid to say 5 guys couldn't lift him up, but remember, 500 POUNDS OF DEAD WEIGHT is not easy to pick up. Off Topic: I lifted 500 lbs. on a leg press machine and I could barely walk for a week because I strained several muscles.

 

 

Back on topic: Great Diatribe/Rant/Review as I pretty much agree with everything in the midcard.

 

(Only person to predict a shitty Noble/Rey match with less than 4 minutes)

[Tawren 0]

Actually, I enjoyed the Rumble and while I would have complained had Benoit not won, I would not have said the match sucked because it didn't...the FINISH would have sucked.

 

Good review Dames.

[Garth 0]

the moment of Benoit winning was kind of ruined for me though by a very negative friend who i had staying round for the event, who proclaimed Benoit winning "the shittest thing i've ever seen" so that kind of put a damper on my excitment.

you should have proceeded to punch him dead on in the mouth.

Well lets just say he got a punch, but several feet lower than his mouth.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Dames + Scott Keith = Crack is bad

 

If ANYONE else would have won this match, the internet community would have said it was like ***.  But because Benoit won, its the greatest thing sicne sliced bread.  And Dames says he likes this Rumble because of the clean finish? Did he miss how Goldberg, Orton, Kane, and Foley were eliminated? I'll give the finish its props, it was original and intriguing.  But the match? Bah.  92 is better.  Much better.  Flair's performance was much great than Benoit's.  Benoit didn't impress until right at the end.

 

Oh, and Orton input to the match was also substandard.  And considering he was in for the majority of the sucker, I can't deem it that great.  Moreover, the fact that the camera zoomed in on Foley and Orton brawl instead of the match itself took away from the greatness of the MATCH.

 

And the 6 guys trying to pikc up Big Show killed any momentum the match has up to that point.  Coming from Angle (who has Angleslammed Big Show), Cena (who has F-5'd Big Show), and Benoit (who has suplexed Big Show) - how could they are 3 other guys fail to lift him up? It was retarded and the crowd wasn't buying it.

 

There were far far far too many laws in this match to consider it better than the 92 Rumble...or to even consider it great.  The end was an amazing end to an average Rumble on a horrific PPV.

I'd hate to say I agree with all your points but I do.

 

If Benoit would have lost, I would have been going "Boo this sucks!". 1992 was better, but the majority of people say best SINCE 1992, which isn't really hard to say because 1993-1999 were all bleh.

 

But the one thing I don't agree with it is the Big Show/5 guys thing. Sure, it's stupid to say 5 guys couldn't lift him up, but remember, 500 POUNDS OF DEAD WEIGHT is not easy to pick up. Off Topic: I lifted 500 lbs. on a leg press machine and I could barely walk for a week because I strained several muscles.

 

 

Back on topic: Great Diatribe/Rant/Review as I pretty much agree with everything in the midcard.

 

(Only person to predict a shitty Noble/Rey match with less than 4 minutes)

6 guys who can bench 300-400lbs can't lift the deadweight of Big Show? C'mon dude.

[k thx 0]

To be fair, RVD was pulling Show in a completely different direction to the others.

[Guest Anglesault]

Well, they were tired.

 

Or something.

 

To be fair, RVD was pulling Show in a completely different direction to the others.

 

RVD always has marched to the beat of his own drummer

[2GOLD 0]

6 guys who can bench 300-400lbs can't lift the deadweight of Big Show? C'mon dude.

 

I've seen three guys who could bench 300 each struggle to lift a guy who is 250.

 

You are talking about five guys, meaning each guy lifts more than the other and the slightest wrong moment could injury one of them or at the very least make it extremely difficult to lift him.

 

Humans aren't exactly like regular weights.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

To be fair, RVD was pulling Show in a completely different direction to the others.

Cena DID mention RVD must be a little high during his interview...

 

Still, probably the only Rumble in years I've seen where everyone in the end is either really over or booked strong. Too bad Show eliminated everyone (except Benoit).

[Guest Anglesault]

Too bad Show eliminated everyone (except Benoit).

No way. From the way it's decribed, that MADE it.

 

Six guys together couldn't do it.

 

Cena tried...and failed

 

RVD tried...and failed

 

Y2J tried...and failed

 

Angle tried...and failed

 

But not Benoit.

[Si82 0]

Another quality review Dames. I really do enjoy your writing style. Always entertaing, informative and funny too! Top notch.

 

I pretty much agree with the praise for the Royal Rumble match itself and I did indeed mark like crazy when Benoit won.

 

Look forward to the next part of the Flair DVD review.

[Guest PowerPB13]

SK's rant tagline:

 

"Another blow for the anti-smark crowd as Benoit continues to kick ass."

 

I wonder if it's ever occurred to anybody that, you know, some of the "anti-smarks" are fans of Benoit/Angle/etc. too, but they're just sick of them constantly being held up as martyrs of the evil McMahon/Helmesly empire.

 

-Patrick

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

I don't see why blood is a big issue since HBK blades in like every match. Numbing effect, anyone?

[Spicy McHaggis 0]

Dames, the Match History thing is awesome.

[Guest Anglesault]

I wonder if it's ever occurred to anybody that, you know, some of the "anti-smarks" are fans of Benoit/Angle/etc. too, but they're just sick of them constantly being held up as martyrs of the evil McMahon/Helmesly empire.

 

-Patrick

What would you call them?