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Fuck Valentine's Day

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As it turns out, I own just as hard on Valentine's Day as on any other. I wasn't sure at first, but, yep, I sure do.

 

I spent the day WORKING~, and I got several compliments on my hair, and some hot chick in her later 30s wished me a Happy V-E Day, out of the blue.

 

I also had pizza.

 

Anyway, I've always felt that it's better to be happy for those who do have others on this day than to mope or be angry. Calmer, more relaxed. If you smoke weed, you probably understand. Maybe, I wouldn't really know, I'm not a big "weed guy." Anyway Hoff still owns, Merry Valentine's Day, and bring on the sandal weather.

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I masturbated to cable porn.

 

Well, you asked.

Bah, raise your hand if you never rubbed one off to Skinemax (none of you had better even think about raising your hands).

 

Question, to take everyone's mind off of hearts and shit and onto one of my loves, VIDEOGAMES~: Do I want to play Mario Bros. 2 on my comp's emulator bad enough to go all the way to my car and get my PC's controller? Because I'm thinking no...but it sounds a-pretty good....

 

Somebody help me (breathe).

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Guest FrigidSoul

No, I just can't do it...the love for WJM isn't really there *runs off crying like a 12 year old girl over his jealousy of Malibu*

 

Hoff, if you do you need to play every level as Luigi just so you can watch his leg wiggle thing

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SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT FUCKING VALENTINE'S DAY FUCK! Except Frigid, he gets a cookie. *gives cookie*

 

And I DO need to do that.

 

Also, what's up with Princess? Floating? How's that work? She got a fan in her cooch or something?

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Guest FrigidSoul
Also, what's up with Princess? Floating? How's that work? She got a fan in her cooch or something?

I pretended the Mushrooms gave her a never ending case of gas.

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My Valentine's day was awesome. A night of No Limit Texas Hold 'Em and Sam Adams, and I'm $20 richer and full of delicious grains.

 

Remember, kids. When you're feeling lonely, gambling is the answer.

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Well my Valentines day got really weird once I was too tanked up to do anything constructive.

 

I'll explain the weirdness of my day later, but for now I'll give a thumbs upto Valentines day simply because I was too out of it to notice it go by. (That should probably be my approach every year).

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Guest Flyboy
My Valentine's day was awesome.

As was mine.. as was mine. These guys are just pussies as Rant already stated.

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I had to say "Fuck Valentine's Day" didn't I? Yeah so i got to hang out with the girl I have a big crush on. Yeah we had a great time bowling, and yeah I was laying on the sofa with my head in her lap afterwards.

 

But my friend Shawn, was too drunk to drive them home, so the task fell to me. If you're wondering if I got pulled over........of course I did! And in a state where the DUI level is .08, I blew a .29 on the breathalyzer. Yet for some reason, I didn't get a DUI, they let me off with a "Careless Driving" as long as someone else came to drive the truck. By the time that happened, my chances with Cait were blown cause she got picked up by someone else.

 

Fuckin Valentine's Day............

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Guest FrigidSoul

You may want to think twice about driving the next time 30% of the liquid flowing in your veins is alcohol

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You may want to think twice about driving the next time 30% of the liquid flowing in your veins is alcohol

Alright DAD!

 

 

Sike nah, I didn't even feel drunk. I think I blew so high because I chugged a beer right before I left.

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Nicely done, Jax. Driving drunk means that you're cool, ya know? Anyways, Valentine's Day, I drank an eighteen pack and called all my ex-girlfriends and told them that I was going to kill myself. We all had a good laugh afterwards.

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Nicely done, Jax. Driving drunk means that you're cool, ya know? Anyways, Valentine's Day, I drank an eighteen pack and called all my ex-girlfriends and told them that I was going to kill myself. We all had a good laugh afterwards.

Yeah, but I WASN'T DRUNK! THAT BREATHALYZER WAS RIGGED!

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Nicely done, Jax. Driving drunk means that you're cool, ya know? Anyways, Valentine's Day, I drank an eighteen pack and called all my ex-girlfriends and told them that I was going to kill myself. We all had a good laugh afterwards.

Yeah, but I WASN'T DRUNK! THAT BREATHALYZER WAS RIGGED!

The cops were probably just trying to get you laid. They probably sat there and were like, "Let's get this guy laid, because people that drive drunk are rebelious and cool, and girls like guys that are rebelious and cool."

 

I'd send the cops some flowers, or at least a card.

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Nicely done, Jax. Driving drunk means that you're cool, ya know? Anyways, Valentine's Day, I drank an eighteen pack and called all my ex-girlfriends and told them that I was going to kill myself. We all had a good laugh afterwards.

And that means you're cool?

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Nicely done, Jax. Driving drunk means that you're cool, ya know? Anyways, Valentine's Day, I drank an eighteen pack and called all my ex-girlfriends and told them that I was going to kill myself. We all had a good laugh afterwards.

And that means you're cool?

Well, at least he was thorough.

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Nicely done, Jax. Driving drunk means that you're cool, ya know? Anyways, Valentine's Day, I drank an eighteen pack and called all my ex-girlfriends and told them that I was going to kill myself. We all had a good laugh afterwards.

And that means you're cool?

.....I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. Driving drunk really DOES mean that you're cool.

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Nicely done, Jax. Driving drunk means that you're cool, ya know? Anyways, Valentine's Day, I drank an eighteen pack and called all my ex-girlfriends and told them that I was going to kill myself. We all had a good laugh afterwards.

And that means you're cool?

.....I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. Driving drunk really DOES mean that you're cool.

Sweet. What if i was all coked up?

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